Ok as I understand it ur not dying her whole head it’s just a few highlights correct? Not that it matters if u are not doing it very often. If the bio mom wants a salon 2 do it and u are trying 2 respect her wishes then I’d just pay 4 the salon 2 do it. U know she isnt or hasnt been financially responsible 4 her child so y are u even upset that U went 2 HER with an idea and now she isnt bothering 2 try 2 meet u halfway? Of course I’m that person though if I can do something myself why bother going and spending outrageous money 4 a few highlights. U have 2 options u can do it urself and a lil white lie will eventually reveal itself or u can take her 2 a salon and avoid another argument and the ucessary attitudes from everyone involved. Coparenting is hard but it sounds like u and ur husband have a good thing and level heads and the bio mom is resentful and just plain deadbeat parent. I have the right 2 say that as i had 1 in my life that just couldnt be there either.
Whats wrong with that? As long as both parents don’t mind. I kills lice and is fun for girls. Get the wash out kind or a natural colorant, like henna
Each parent is their own child’s parent tho. Do what you feel is right.
Imo you are wrong for backing down. Her “mom” definitely seems like a control freak.
You should take her you are her mom.
I say just buy color and do it for her. You said you would do if bio- mom said and bottom line you promised so do it and make “your” daughter happy. It is about her, not her “mom’s”!
So basically u indirectly spiting her due to her mother’s attitude … even ur husband said its fine after all the shenanigans yet you still making it all about you, instead of the child
Do it. Lifes too short to care what the mom thinks. If she was any kind of mom she would have took her to get it done instead of filling her head and then backing out. What a …! Petty at its finest. Get on with your life. If your kids happy then that all that matters. X
she LIVES with you and your husband. If her father wants you to do it, then go ahead, it is his call as far as I am concerned!
I would just take her to a salon. Not doubting your abilities, but then there’s no drama about results that can come back to you, and your bonus daughter can get some much deserved pampering.
You should do it so y’all will have some bonding time, or book a spa day for the both of you, have her hair done, get both of your nails painted or whatever. Don’t let “mom” try and ruin the relationship between the two of you.
Remember she only has one Mom, Step mother needs to listen to her real Mom
Just do it!! If her mom isn’t helping financially I don’t think she should have any say. Do you ask the mom’s permission everytime you buy your daughter an outfit? This is a fashion trend she’ll wear for a little while & most likely outgrow. If her birth-mom doesn’t like it she will complain & have to get over it. If your daughter likes it that is all that matters!!!
Its bloody hair, your not giving her a backyard tatoo.
It’s probably a jealousy thing from the birth mother, if “your daughter” wants you to do it, it’s because she wants that experience with you, who would you rather upset your daughter and change plans or her birth mother by going with your daughters wishes?!
You have been raising the girl for the past 10 years, she has caused all of this drama in hopes to interfere with you and the daughter. I would just do it just like you and the girl planned at home without the ex.
If her father says to do it just do it!! You have raised her basically her entire life!!! Just use this time as another bonding moment together!!
Take her. Mom will get over it. Mom was trying to make an issue and your letting her make it an issue. Do it. Or take her. Dont make the kid suffer for the adults attitudes.
We can be there in 2.5. Hours
Just do it her mom will get over it what you do with her with her father’s permission is your business hes her father he has the final say in your home and his child with you as mom
I would go with Dads thoughts if the child is over 10 years old,she should have a say in her appearance
You have raised this child. If you and her dad are ok with something just do it. If the bio mom doesn’t like it, too bad, she gave up that right years ago.
Do her hair, sounds like she is more of your daughter anyway
Do temporary Spray on hair dye
Omg just do her hair
Just so her hair and get the closing I will get from ur daughter. She will cherish u and u will have bond with her that her mom won’t have . I know it’s hard having her mom there . But u will be the person she will lean on when she need to talked or trust u to. Don’t break her heart because of her mom. Just make it a day spa and enjoy ur daughter before time flys away. Love her and just do it for her … not the mother
Do it. Her mother doesn’t help and just seems to talk bad about you to her. I’m in the same situation with my step daughter. She lives with us 24/7 and birth mom doesn’t help or come see her so we make the decisions without her. As far as your husband he should of told the birth mom if she cant help with anything then her approval isnt needed.
Sadly … its the kid that is in the middle. And if mom already talks all that crap and gives a hard time… sounds like no matter which way you go, she will criticize not just the hair, but you and even her daughter.
Do her hair, bond with her, tell you’re feelings (gently) about the way it all turned out but you will always be there to support her. She may be a kid, but don’t lie and try to hide reality.
And maybe look into a family therapist if you don’t have one. At least for your daughter. I feel mostly for your daughter and her mental health here. With that jealous mom… sounds like she is putting you all through it and you could all use an outlet.
I would do her hair and the hell with her other mom! Why pay for somthing u can do…
I hate to say this, but I think you need to swallow your pride and color her hair, it’s about the child.
Her mom was just jealous that the child was excited for you to do it.
You extended courtesy to the mom. She didn’t want you to do it and won’t take her. I would just do it. Your daughter shouldn’t pay the price for her mom acting like a child over it. Your daughter obviously feels safer and more connected with you if she went to you first in the beginning. Let that little girl enjoy her childhood and don’t let it be ruined by her mother.
Quit playing in the bio mom’s game. I would do just do it, if the bio mom has anything to say then I would just ignore. Don’t play into her drama, this is for your stepdtr.
Stick with the original plan and you do it
Follow the rules of the parenting agreement of the custody papers .
Co-parenting is a bitch. But it is what you make of it. You ALL need to sit down together and make the decision so that this girl can see how being an adult is supposed to go. I suggest laying out the facts. The dye job is happening because everyone agrees. So the only decision is who is doing it. It doesn’t take a professional to add a pink streak to some hair, but someone has to pay for it and if she can’t pay for it or split it when she is the one who wants the pro to do it, then she doesn’t get much say in it. To me, this is a trust and control issue. I went through this exact same thing with cutting my nephew’s hair when we had custody, and since I didn’t want to pay for a pro, was able to do it myself, and mom couldn’t pay, we took the clippers out on the back deck. His mom saw that I did a good job and didn’t mind after that. Her mom will get over it, but at this point it’s more important that everyone act like adults and be good role models than it is to be right.
Her mother can fuck right off in my opinion. If she doesn’t support her financially and isn’t willing to do this for her daughter, then do what you wanted to do in the first place. It’s not about making the mom happy. It’s about making the child happy. She’s gunna have to deal with bullshit her while life anyway so let her be happy as a kid. I kinda got lucky with my step daughter. We only see her on weekends and occasionally throughout the week but if she tells me her mom won’t let her do something because “she doesn’t have the money for it” even though she gets help from the state in a multitude of ways including assistance with paying all of her bills, i talk to my boyfriend and we make it happen for her.
I would just do it cause she lives with u mostly