My step-kids come home bragging about what their grandparents buy them: Thoughts?

That’s their grandparents. They have every right to be excited and happy for all their gifts.

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Same thing happened to me-my husband’s family always left my three boys out at birthdays and Christmas. It ended up being that they basically never accepted myself or my kids. F**k them.

As a “step” mom and also as a “step” grandmother… I treat all of our kids and grandkids the same. As a kid having had a couple of different step mothers, I sometimes felt like my step siblings always got more purchased for them than what me and my sisters got. There was a difference made between us (from my perspective) and I got my feelings hurt a lot. I vowed if I were ever in a relationship where I got bonus children I would love and treat them as my own. My “step” (I use quotes because that’s not a term we use) grandson was our first to call us Mimi / Pop and I couldn’t be prouder to call him ours!

Grandparents money and they can spend it how they want and on who. Might be different if you were married! Remember your kids mimick what they see and hear from you.

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If he hasn’t wifed you up, who do they have to grandparent equally. You chose to lesser yours and their relationship by jumping the family gun.

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I think this would be a good opportunity to talk to your own kids about learning to be happy with the good things we do have. I know that sounds easy, but the truth is that this is reality. You can downplay it and you can help them to understand life isn’t always fair and that material things aren’t the end all be al to a happy life. I know you’re probably looking for a different answer, but the truth is that they don’t have the power to control anything except their own reaction. Also - you could have your husband speak to them about not overly bragging about the items and how to have some tact about things. Depending on their age and ability to understand, this may be difficult at first, but contributing to work on it can help.

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You can’t control other people. Although it should be even and isn’t do something special with your kids. A day trip to the zoo or to a lake in the summer or even a picnic in a park. Lots to do. Get married!

As a stepgrandparent I treat them all the same I believe when a family is blended then they should all be treated the same

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Honestly I think it’s kinda rude of the kids to be be bragging but it is their grandparents. My grandparents always made sure to include my step siblings and half siblings that they’re not related to to make sure no one was left out. They haven’t even met two of them and they still send them presents too

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Maybe you should make more money to buy your kids more stuff

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I am a grandmother 3 times now and I treat them all the same. Two are my husbands children from a precious marriage’s children and one is my son’s son. I buy them all the same or none at all.

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Buy your kids something they want. Work extra hours

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I had the same problem my husband 3 kids would visit their moms grandmom everything that came in our house was to be shared or it could stays over there at grandmoms and I would take my kids out when they would go over grandmoms so they didn’t feel left out even if its to grab a burger we had 6 kids 3 of his 2 of mine the one together they are now 23 yrs down to 12 yrs as they grow they will learn who takes care of them and will have respect for you more then the other side that spoils them

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We buy for our grandaughter i only one all kinds of stuff but mostly from goodwill we live on not much money but she has name brands but she dosent have a daddy or his family to buy for her and the other grandkids we love dearly but there mom buys for them and her family grandparents ect… so it work out good and we also buy stuff for them when we might not by for our grandaughter we try to be even at christmas same amount of presents and all the money the same or close to it

I am a stepmother and now stepgrandmother to my stepkids’ kids. Anything that I have done for my stepkids and their children is from the bottom of my heart and not a requirement. When my stepchildren were young my parents always bought them gifts for Christmas, they would ask us what they want and we would in turn tell them that my parents wanted to know what they wanted for Christmas and that was exactly what was under the tree for them. It was not required of my parents. You cannot require your mates parents to treat the kids like yours just because you do.
This is a perfect time to teach the kids humility, bragging isn’t nice, what makes a family a family, and that not everyone will have the same kids. Those grandparents and their grandchildren should not be punished because they have eachother. Admittedly my biological grandkids get more from my husband and I but they also live with us(along with their mothers) so it’s a different relationship.

I went threw this exact same issue. My family treats my step daughter like that’s their grand too ( i take care of her full time her mother wants nothing to do with her) in laws litterly stick thier nose up and walk away ignoring them when my kids say hello to them.( even after being married for 5 years) My husband says" there’s no step only family they treat them all the same or he’d make sure they are treated all the same. Needless to say she don’t see them anymore! Things have Never been so peaceful in our home, between us as husband and wife and so much better between the siblings, because there is no longer the issue of one being made out to look better then the others while 2 step kids and 2 new babies ( hubby and mine) get ignored. I sure wouldn’t stand for my family treating my step daughter any different. But everyone’s different and will have different views. 💁 all I know is I wish so much luck and hope things change for you and all the kids.

Something is wrong with this world when a child can’t get the love and attention they need. When I started dating my husband he had three grandkids with one on the way I had none. He had one adult child I had four kids all under age of 12 we now have seven kids total and seven grandkids. I have never And he has never treated any child like they was not ours. We did struggle with his family not doing right by my kids but that straightened out when he put his foot down. My parents was also being overly attentive to one worried that she wouldn’t be thought of like his. I had to set that straight myself. If our families can’t be what our kids and grandkids need them to be then they get none of us. When my oldest met and married her husband already had one son guess what from day one that’s my grandson! People need to stop and think you maybe the only love that child sees from a grandparent and they will never forget that.

My question is how are they step kids if you ain’t married. But you should just get over it you ain’t married but out of respect for your kids you should find something for them to do when they go over to their grandparents

We blended in 1991. My one his 3. All girls.
My step kids got way less at Christmas by my family. So we opted not to spend Christmas with my family after a couple of years of in-equity. Also, we had full custody of all 4 girls so in the house everything was super equal.
Now 28 years later all the girls are well adjusted and have family of their own.

One kid never bragged over the other. Our girls had a great childhood because we made sure it was a good one. Not to say it was peaches and cream because the bio Mom tried to be intrusive so we had a handful with her, but always made sure the girls were happy.

Also we are assuming it’s the boyfriend’s parents. Could be their mother’s parents for all we know.

I would have a sit down with your boyfriend and his kids and just explain that its awesome to get new things and they can always tell daddy and even their step siblings but they should try and be gentle and make sure that they are being kind. Basically they might not know they are making the others feel left out

Package deal!! No steps or halves. They make a life together, those are their grandparents…and boyfriend should make it known

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I don’t think they should spend equally on the children, but I do think they should buy them something for Christmas.

When me and my husband starting dating and getting serious his parents welcomed my three girls and loved them as if they were their own grandchildren. They have never been treated differently than their biological grandchildren. We have been together for 9 years now. I could understand if these are their mother’s parents and that would make sense to me why they are treated differently.

Look ask him to move on because ur really a petty sounding person those are children like lets be serious

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If they can afford to buy it for their grandkids that is great. You just need to explain to the other kids that is their grandparents and it’s nice of them to buy stuff. You should not be jealous of things. At the end of the day it all dry rots and decays. As for your kids have no where to go on the weekends that’s your responsibility to take care of your kids. Instead of working part time work full time to make up for the additional items your kids don’t get.

Getting treated differently will definitely affect them if yall are supposed to be a family. My step grandparents were my grandparents since I was 2 an I know they loved me but they treated me differently my whole life. It used to really bother me when I was younger

Do your children have grandparents to spend weekends with. As a grandparent that had to spend a few thousand dollars for my visitation rights because my grandsons father and new wife didn’t want us involved, you cannot expect a grandparent to not want to provide for their grandchildren. I agree with working harder if you feel your children need more. More than often the grown ups feel more uneasy about a situation than the children. Maybe as your relationship grows the grandparents will also bond with your children. Work towards uniting the family instead of trying to pick it a part. The children and grandparents are probably doing as they have always done. You can’t expect the children to not have nice things just because you and your boyfriend aren’t providing the same.

I think the stepkids need to learn to stop bragging. Your boyfriend needs to step in and make them understand that they’re being mean. There’s no excuse for that type of behavior from those kids. They can be nice or you need to leave.

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Your boyfriend needs to make a decision and so do you stop it now or he gets out

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Your husband needs to handle this with the grandparents. The main family (children and parents) are what is most important right now. I have 10 grandchildren, 1 adopted, 3 by marriage and 6 by birth. I do not show difference in any. All call me Grandma, all love me, and I love all. I would never want to cause trouble in either family. My job is just to be the best grandmother I can possibly be. Love is unending!!

My husband and I have 4 kids all together I have 1 he had 2 and we have 1 together and his family were always open arms to my daughter from day 1 and still are and we have now been togetger 14 years. We don’t believe in the the word “step” we are a family we have 4 kids and the whole family has been like this since day 1

Have the boyfriend talk to the kids and grandparents about not bragging about it when they come home. Take your babies somewhere you can afford and just be there for them. They will remember the time spent with them not money spent on them.

Why are they living with you ?

From the kids POV its kinda sad

Life lesson. Life isn’t fair. Some people have more than others. If you want more, work for it. Life lessons. Life doesnt care about your feelings.

Kick them out trouble ahead and the boyfriend too went through that and its not worth it for you and your kids to go through that.

I’m confused… You’re not the step mother and they’re not your step kids. You aren’t married. So since you’re not married, I see nothing wrong with it. It’s boyfriend and girlfriend living together with all their trying to make a family.

All or nothing. They accept all the grandchildren and treat equally or they all get nothing.

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You said your boyfriend; that means your boyfriends kids, not your step kids. Likely, the grandparents are not fully vested, as their son is not.

My mother in law always included my children from a previous marriage the same…at Christmas they got gift cards from my husband’s mother. She is a sweetheart.

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Nope. Time to stand up or move on

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Either break up or get over it.

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talk to boyfriend amd tell him to have grandparents stop spending so much if no stopping them tell him bye

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I would talk to the boyfriend about this problem.

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I think all the kids should be treated the same

I honestly don’t think you can get mad because they just moved in 4 months ago and he is a boyfriend, not your husband…yet. If things don’t change after you get married, then something needs to get said.

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I said leave. It want never change

How long have y’all been together??

Have you brought it up with your bf?

Are you sure it isn’t you who is jealous??

Why punish the kids because they have good grandparents? That’s stupid!!

Make them keep it at their grandparents house!! Dont bring it home just to throw it in peoples faces.

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This is a great teaching moment. Teach your children that they shouldn’t covet another persons relationship and what comes from that relationship. Teach the boyfriends kids not to be bragging about materialistic things because those things aren’t what equals happiness. When the other kids are gone do outings or family nights with your kids. The memories of what you do together last longer then a materialistic item.

I pray for you it’s not easy

Maybe my parents are just amazing but they have never treated my step son any different than what they treat their biological grandchildren. Not even when my husband and I were just dating. :woman_shrugging:t3:

I would tell your husband how thats screwed up for his kids to be bragging like that its rude and for the grandparents to say they would treat them all the same and then dont just irritates me

HOLD ON because here are the facts. YOU SAID you are his GIRLFRIEND not WIFE but GIRLFRIEND and you moved in together all of 4 MONTHS AGO. Sounds like if this is how things are after 4months, your relationship is doomed. The grandparents are under no obligation to care for and treat your children because you are the GIRLFRIEND of their son and those aren’t their grands. I mean cmon they hardly know your children you but only came into their lives a few months ago. Also I might add that his 2 children have probably been in their lives forever. Obviously the kids have experienced some type of disruption in their lives if their father is a single father and they are being very supportive of their grandchildren and offering them some type of security and familiarity in the disruption of their lives. You are kind to offer them a home and play mommy but to be honest you having hateful, jealous feeling for the material things they are given is absolutely disgusting. If you’re intentions are to marry their father you are going about it completely wrong. Stop for a second and remember what traumatic experience it is for children to experience a broken home and to find themselves living with a new strange person in a new environment. My god have a heart. Stop being so selfish and be an example to your children. Teach your children to be kind and loving. Who cares what they have? Focus on why they are being treated this way, I’m certain the grandparents are only doing what they think is right by giving them some familiarity and normalcy in their upside down world. Love those children If your intentions are to be married to their father and especially if you’re gonna be in their lives forever otherwise get on with your life and stop adding more damage to those babies.

KICK your boy friend out!

This bitch :woman_facepalming:t4::woman_facepalming:t4:

And it’s the kids fault they have loving grandparents who spoil them? As an adult you should grow up and you should also explain to your kids why your boyfriends kids get all these things. If your kids dont have grandparents who do these things its unfortunate but not the other kids fault. :woman_facepalming::woman_shrugging:

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At the very least your boyfriend should talk to his kids about bragging. Wherever your kids go in this world there will always be others that have more than them… Your boyfriend’s kids should learn how to be gracious, not brag, share their toys, etc. Also you could find your own bonding activities to do with your kids while your boyfriend’s kids are at their grandparents. Blended families are never easy but if your boyfriend is willing to work with you, you can all work something out.

Just leave him seriously if it bothers you that much because it won’t change maybe when you are actually idk married it will but your children are yours

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Well for starters there is nothing wrong with the children being loved by their grandparents and they shouldn’t feel bad for that in anyway. I do have issue with kids putting such value in martialistc things however and all should be taught there is more to love then being showered with items to prove it. Being resentful I dont understand why you would be? I can see jealousy on the kids end but their kids and that’s normal and can be worked out

This is a tough one and it sure doesnt look like much support from the comments. Blended families !!! Whew. The kids should all be treated the same. As a grandma to 5 step grandkids I know that if I have blood grandchildren they will all be treated th wes same. I treated them as grandchildren before they were married . I wish you luck and make sure you take care of you and the kids.

If u think he’s open minded talk to him and explain to him that ur a unit and u never want ur kids to feel less than and he could explain to his family the situations…and if that don’t work they gotta go…and why did they have to move in with you?

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Do your kids go with their dad or family with out the other kids? While it may not seem fair yall are. Boyfriend/girlfriend…

Break up. It won’t get better.

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Boyfriend. You aren’t married or even engaged and expect his parents to automatically accept your children as their grandchildren? Is the father of the children ok with this? Have you discussed it with him? Why do his children have to go every weekend?

While he can’t force them to accept your kids, he could could put down boundaries as far as how they treat/spoil/spend time with his bio children.

Time for you to ask yourself what you are going to do if he sees nothing wrong with this and it doesn’t change.

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