I have an 11-year-old stepson, and he has driven me crazy ever since my partner and I have been together for the last couple of years. There is never a time he’s around. You don’t have to constantly tell him to stop or to just chill. He’s constantly doing something that makes annoying sounds or hitting things. He can never sit still in one place, and I’ve approached my partner about ADHD, and he refuses to look into it. My 1.5-year-old daughter even gets annoyed with him because he’s always in her face or doing things to annoy her or be mean to her. His mother is absolutely no help at all, she doesn’t think there is anything wrong or anything that needs to be dealt with. I feel like I’m constantly on edge because I’m always saying something to him or have to keep close attention when he’s around my daughter. I need advice on what to do.
Sounds like ADHD I have son who used to do same
Your first sentence makes you sound like a huge bitch. I’m sure you drive your stepson crazy as well.
Sounds like ADHD, seems like you and your partner need to have another talk about what can be done. But who are you to self-diagnose someone else’s child.
U sound like an extremely huge bitch
he’s a kid. that’s what kids do.
don’t diagnose someone else kid bc he doesn’t want to be quiet when you want him to.
You sound like an asshole… he’s a kid. You need to grow up
He cant help if he has ADHD sounds like it!Especially if his parents arent taking him to a doctor to get help.Its not his fault.
My 5 yr old is super chill and gets along with everyone but my nephew… he has some form of a learning disability and it’s the same thing for me girl! He’s constantly in my daughters face and I’m constantly on edge…
I have ADHD it is not a bad thing. I would talk to your SO about it. I know when I was his age it was hard for me you will have to work with him. You can message me if you want to talk more about it.
Kids who need some positive attention ask for it in negative ways.
Wow, this is why I’d never come to this page for advice. You all sound like what you’re calling her… she obviously cares. She’s stuck around and just wants help for him and her. Maybe think before you say hateful things.
You can tell you didn’t think this question through, and just jumped the gun out of anger since the first 3 sentences don’t even make any sense.
He a little kid. 11 year olds are gonna constantly be obnoxious and do annoying things. And diagnosing a child that is not your shouldn’t be your problem. Yes, ADHD may be the cause but you don’t know that. His father may know about it but doesn’t want to look into it because the fear of having to pay for constant medication and help that he doesn’t want to go through and stress about and have his child struggle to go through it. I’ve seen out with my brother. If it’s an issue, maybe sit down and talk with him. He’s a kid and just talking with him calmly instead of looking at him like he’s some kind of annoyance, he’s sure to understand. He knows when you are against him and will continue to do what he is doing to annoy you on purpose. And most likely, he’s going through a phase in his life where he doesn’t understand why his parents aren’t together and he’s using that to lash out. He may not even have ADHD to begin with. When my parent split, I was constantly annoying the crap out of my mom and despised my stepdad. I hated them. Now I’m an adult and I’m over it.
Rule number one of being a step parent. Do not diagnose a child that is not your own blood. That’s a recipe for disaster.
It sounds like a cry for attention/love!
Why don’t you try engaging him in family activity’s?
Puzzles, board games, bird watching, going on walks or what ever you all enjoy?
I don’t think it’s fair to you when your husband won’t even discuss a problem regarding his son from a previous relationship. It is not fair to you and now you and the daughter you have together. Why don’t you find someone you can discuss this situation and if there is anything you can do to help him and yourself.
This sounds just like my son. He has adhd and we believe he may have Tourette’s. He hasn’t been diagnosed with Tourette’s but he has multiple tics and has went through multiple tics over so many years. It’s SO stressful every single day. If you’ve never dealt with a child who has disabilities then you shouldn’t judge someone who does because it’s really hard.
For everyone saying she’s a bitch and this & that… I KNOW for a fact at least half of y’all get pissed at your own kids and say they’re driving you crazy, wish they’d calm down, etc.
But when someone else does it, it’s a damn sin.
The child may have adhd and no that’s not his fault. That’s his mom & dads fault for not getting him proper care.
But if he’s mean to her child and always messing with her, that is no way ok. What if one day it gets taken too far? What if he actually hurts her on accident or on purpose. She’s trying to keep her sanity like ALL OF US MOTHERS and also keep her daughter safe.
You guys calling her a bitch should shut your hypocritical mouths and take a chill pill.
Maybe he picks up that U arnt enjoying him being around kids pick up on things my son’s ADHD his youngest sibling is 2.5 and he is awesome with his brother don’t automatically assume there’s something wrong maybe look at your attitude towards him and go about things in a different way kid will play up and purposely do things because they know there getting on your last nerve
Maybe you just have anxiety and he is fine? He is a child. You have to be patient. Im sorry you feel this way, but at the end of the day, you signed up to be in his life when you started dating your partner. Also it’s hard to admit there is something happening with your child. But if his parents refuse to get him evaluated, you have to kind of deal with that.
Just leave them honestly
So instead of addressing the issue or asking more about it, lets attack to OP.
Maybe Mom Life Uncensored is the wrong name for this page.
Ok so since not many people offered much advice, I’ll try to help from the sense of an educator and child development major. Have you tried to talk to his teacher at all to see if she sees any similar behaviors? If NOT, then he’s looking to get attention from you, negative or positive. He may also purposely try to annoy you depending on the child, at 11 that happens also. Your 1.5 year old could also be feeding of your energy, but may also just not like people in her space. Do you feel he would hurt his sister? If not, maybe try redirecting him in a playful manner (not yelling or negative) but in a hey have you tried this, she loves this and try to nurture their relationship because he may have NO clue what to do with a young child. Remember 11 is such an awkward age, he may be struggling. He may need to go to counseling, but I would do some google research on how to help kids with ADD and see if you can’t try to work with him and give him positive attention, he may not be getting that anywhere else. Just my 2 cents, but with your partner, I’d be careful because that’s his child and he will put him first. But there are obviously ways to approach it with class etc, if the school has issues then they can talk to the bio parents in a parent teacher conference. They may not see what you see, which is why the parents ignore your concerns. He made need therapy to help him work through some stuff and help him with emotional regulation but again, his bio parents would have to initiate that. Good luck. You can PM me if you want to talk
Maybe if you talk to him the way your meant to talk to a child things would be different… Sounds like every word out of your mouth towards him is either stop or don’t
Man, I just have to throw my two cents in here.
KUDOS TO THIS STEPMAMA FOR SEEKING SUPPORT. she clearly feels unsupported and invalidated already and here all you cunts are belittling her.
It takes so much unconditional love to stay when you struggle with someone else’s child. My exes son was fucking awful to me no matter what I did - he was manipulative and he constantly lied. Eventually I was completely defeated because everyone said “he’s just acting out” “you’re just overreacting”.
I was a shitty stepchild - I intentionally tried to make my stepmothers life hell. So people saying kids don’t do that shit - you’re ignorant and wrong.
Also, as a mother of a severely ADHD son - I cannot STAND my son when he is unmedicated. So I can only imagine what it might feel like to a woman who has stepped in as a mother figure to a child - who clearly does not respect her because it seems his parents do not respect her either. It’s sad to see so many women condemn another woman who reached out for support and instead was told she was a cunt. I’m sure all of you have had days where you hated your kids and needed a friend or even overreacted and could’ve been a better mother.
Cunts.
Maybe try to have something fun just you and him do , was he an only child until your daughter came around? He my be having a hard time dealing with changes . Maybe he is even having a hard time at school nothing to do with you and is acting out because he doesn’t know how to handle his feelings.
He’s in the beginning stages of puberty, he needs an outlet. We do collegiate wrestling, it’s a great sport for boys to learn responsibility, discipline & what winning & losing is about. Puberty is extremely hard on boys & dad really needs to be there for him right now is his life. He’s learning in these moments how to be a man & he’s confused, frustrated & has no idea how to express himself & I’m sure you aren’t helping. Be patient & be kind. Get a punching bag to those are great for letting off steam too. Also get the book raising a modern day knight. Great book & helps with teaching boys to be men.
It’s a shame they won’t look at diagnoses as there is so much therapy and intervention to help with cope with home and school life as well as provisions for exams etc. if a 1 year old finds him annoying then he’s probs got something going on lol
Out side the box idea .
If no one will help the child change .
Why don’t you go seek help from a professional councilor and learn some mind and thinking teach’s to train to to be able to deal with an as u say annoying person in your life .
Better help yourself think healthier in long run to .
That way when actually ask for advice on Facebook you don’t sound like the evil step mum that doesn’t like her baby’s fathers other child .
Its because of step mothers like you that I struggle to trust another woman with my kids! If You can’t have the necessary patience with your partners kid what are you doing there in the first place its a package deal honey!!!
Oof I would leave especially since he’s being nasty to your one year old
So, with ADHD there are multiple treatments alongside medication. (If medication is a route you all would go in an ideal world.) So even though he is not diagnosed, you can begin to do different things to help him, in turn help you.
Does he have sensory issues? That can go hand-in-hand with ADHD.
What does he struggle with outside of being obnoxious? I mean, let’s be real. Kids are obnoxious. I love and adore kids but it’s a lot. Especially older kids.
Create routine. Set timers. Make lists.
Praise him for things that are just normal expectations. “Thank you for walking in here quietly while your sister is sleeping.” ”Thank you for using a quiet voice.” “I love that you backed away from your sister when she said stop.” “She loves when you are gentle with her.”
It may sound dumb or redundant but it makes him aware of his behavior. Kids (and adults) generally respond to praise rather than reprimand. Praise the behavior you want to see and expand on it.
Another thing I suggest is one-on-one time. With you, with just him and his dad. If you can make it a regular thing, weekly or even monthly that can really help too.
I don’t know the situation but he may be struggling with where his place is now. Were his mother and father married? Then divorced? Then his dad was single, his mom was single, then his dad got re-married and had another child… That’s a lot of transition for a little person.
Wtf is wrong with all you people? She asks for help and advice on how she should go about this situation shes in and all you people do is put her down. Yes shes a stepmom and knew to accept not only his other children but accepted that she has the opportunity to raise a child that isnt only hers. If you ain’t got nothing nice to say don’t say shit, the real cunts are you assholes. I’d say just make a regular check up and see if PT, OT, Speech, or other ways of helping him keep himself busy. It’s not bad to ask for help, did you guys ever consider that she does spend time with him too, that she tries to give all her children attention? She said nothing about medicating him and you guys all assume that’s what she wants. I really think it was how he was raised before, children know a little bit more at 11, even if they’re late bloomers. They’re capable of understanding too. Dont treat them like babies, this is a time of alot of growth. Fuck yall cunt ass bitches
he could have adhd but also that is the age they do stuff like this too. they can be annoying at this age. he could be wanting attention also and doesn’t know how to seek it other then this way. lots of patience and acceptance is key
Sounds like my teen. And reading all these comments makes me think I’m doing something wrong lol teens need an outlet tho. Even tho they seem to be independent they really aren’t. We gotta keep them entertained as much as a toddler to keep them out of trouble and release that energy.
Theres alot of rude ass people on here. I can feel this womans stress from here. She isnt being unloving shes tryin to find tips on dealing with a child that sounds like hes got ADHD. N his parents refuse to listen to her plus she sounds like shes the one around him most. You cant do much if dad wont listen. I have a step child as well and her dad will not listen to me about anything she gets away with everything its just a non stop battle. Only thing i can think of is talking to the teacher. Hope it gets better for you !
He could also not be getting the attention he needs so he’s acting out to get more attention. He could also be jealous of the baby.
He sounds bored to me maybe you need to go out and do stuff as a family.
Whoa. I posted my comment and now reading through some others…
Some of you are just hateful. Others are just ridiculous - “just leave.” It takes a village to raise a child. This mother is doing her best and she wants to do better. Pretend this woman is your best friend looking for advice. Is this what you would say and how you would act if we were all sitting around a table and not on the Internet?
Some of you are extremely rude! Shaming someone is never the answer. If you don’t have any advice that could help her why would you even comment?
Maybe an attention thing? It’s a hard adjustment when mom and dad aren’t together no more and someone new comes into their picture. He could be doing those things to get a reaction out of you, whether it be a good one or a bad one. He’s gonna take what he can get. He might even feel a little threatened? He might even be trying to get the attention that your one year old gets and he’s desperate for it. It’s all about how you approach it and it takes some time. My own son tends to act the same way and has since me and his father split. I’ve even taken him in and got him tested because I was so lost, he didn’t have anything going on. Don’t be too quick to jump on the ADHD topic. Look into it a little deeper. Spend some one on one time with him. There’s always a solution. Good luck!
I’m sorry, but unfortunately, if neither parent wants to parent their kid or help them, and make them stop hurting your daughter, it’s time for you to end that relationship, take your daughter and move. For both of your safety! That is abuse by the kid, which both his parents are condoning, thus they are abusing you and your daughter, as well. Time to leave before it’s too late. Can’t make the parents do their damn job if they refuse to acknowledge that anything is wrong.
Those ppl putting her down because she’s protesting your daughter are a bunch of jackasses. Her daughter should not be going through this. Sounds like both parents don’t discipline him and are in denial about their child’s behavior. I’m sorry about I couldn’t deal with a kid always being annoying especially how he is towards your daughter. That is not ok and ur husband needs to step up and do something about. I’m sure your not the only one who feels this way. The probably the only person who’s brave enough to speak up. The kid needs help because it’s only going to get worse. One day someone going to kick his ass at school because he’s annoying
Sounds like you and your partner need to have a coming to Jesus meeting. He needs to acknowledge that he needs to have his child at the very least evaluated. Find out if this is causing issues in other ways like in school or socially. Does he ever get any kind of positive attention at either homes or is he constantly told to stop this or stop that? Like someone above said, kids ask for love in the most awful of ways
My son is like that with my 2 year old daughter and yes he has psychologist diagnosed ADHD, is there any way you can maybe bring it up to his school? The school should be able to help get him tested and diagnosed, im not sure where you are from but thats what i did in Saskatchewan canada and they helped me get him set up with a pediatrician and they were just wonderful with all of that, its just an idea as to maybe helping figure it out…
Def need to push to have him tested.
Look into adhd people saying how good they feel once treated. Then share that with yiur husband.
There’s nothing wrong with him, he just thinks differently than you and your daughter do.
Has high energy that needs to be used up and requires a diet with little food dyes or processed foods.
Sounds like you just want to shove meds down the poor child’s throat first.
I have no clue how often or for how long your step son is with you and your family but yes he could have ADHD or something along those lines but also maybe he feels uncomfortable in your home? Or feels like he isn’t wanted there? Feels like he doesn’t belong ? You probably didn’t mean to write it like this but to me it comes off as you don’t enjoy him being around and you like your family life when he isn’t around but remember he was part of your husbands life before you were I assume and how would you feel if you guys were to break up and now your daughter had to be around a new women and she was taking like this about her? Does he have a room
Of his own at your house? Or space? How do you guys spend the time when he is there? Can you plan it differently? These are just ideas hope it helps!
Well may be you need to think about leaving with your daughter an keep her safe if he doesn’t want to help with his son .than may it’s time for you to move on
My son is 11 and does this. He has ADHD but I only medicate him when he is at school. We just enjoy the way he is the rest of the time.
Even if he has ADHD (take it from someone who does and did take medication for it) I Recommend not doing the pill treatment adderall etc. The pills destroy children even more so adults. Look into them. I started taking them at 12 and quit by time I was 16-17 because I was unable to eat, I never slept and I was literally like a zombie. With that being said he might not even have ADHD. He’s an 11 year old boy going through puberty. He’s going to be obnoxious and loud. Or maybe he wants attention from his dad. If it’s your step son maybe he has other repressed feelings.
It sounds like you don’t like him so everything he does bothers you maybe you should stop being so negative towards him . He’s 11 he’s not meant to sit still , if you don’t like it , leave or mind your own kid .
In this day and age if he was that bad off adhd the school should of already recommended testing. I agree with others who say he might only act that way at your home. Have you ever spent one on one with him? He is old enough to talk with you. Ever directly asked him if he had any issues with you or your home? Jumping into testing and meds isn’t always the answer. Nowadays they will just medicate hyperactive children which can cause way more harm than good. Mental health isn’t a joke at all. And my opinion is just based on how my STATE handles these things and personal experience. Kids get misdiagnosed constantly and given unnecessary medication that is more harmful then good. Good luck!!
When he starts it, give him a task. Find what he likes or get him interested in some kind of hobby. It does sound like maybe ADHD…they’ve ruled out autism? I only ask because you said he bangs on things and sometimes that’s sensory… unless you just mean he’s intentionally being obnoxious.
How are his grades though? I have a child (11 yrs old) who is ADHD, and I NEVER medicated until he started failing in school because of it. And even then, he ONLY takes meds on then days he has school and meds have worn off by the time he gets home. This posts breaks my heart as a bio mom, I’d be VERY upset seeing his “step mom” talking about him this way. Ya know, kids can pick up on negative vibes adults put out.
If his mom and dad are both okay with his behavior, why are you so bent on it changing? Being in HIS SISTERS face could be because he misses her and loves her. I dont know how many times I have to tell my boys (13,11, &10) to leave their little sister (3) alone and vise versa.
Maybe he really likes you or is jealous of all the time his sister gets, so he follows you are, clings to you. Wants attention and to be a part of life with you guys.
Bottom line, if he is doing well in school and both mom and dad are okay with how he is, you should NOT be pushing diagnoses and medications.
You SHOULD love that kid unconditionally and treat him like you treat your daughter, have patience with him like you would your own daughter. You should encourage him. You should do better for him.
There are soo many questions here for me. First “a couple if years” is vague, at what age did you enter this boy’s life. Second, when you and his father first got together did you distance yourself from him to remain de-attached in case you two didn’t work out. Third are you and his father even legally married?? Cause honestly the “couple of years” statement makes me think you got in over your head in a quick time. Four is your daughter his half sister? Meaning is his father your child’s father? All of these should be answered before an accurate evolution could be made. Ultimately if the last two are no, you are free to leave and get out of the situation you find yourself in, instead of separating yourselves from him and making him feel like an annoying outcast around his family. To me it seems you aren’t ready to handle the annoying, stressful, and typical pre-teen/teen behavior that comes at that age. Instead of pushing him away, try interacting with him, find common interests, and show interest.
I would say continue 2 push having him tested. Worse case scenario he has adhd best case scenario it’s something u can possibly fix at home. U just need 2 sit down as a family and have a conversation on how u feel. My cousin had adhd meds rarely helped and just needed things 2 keep him busy and redirect his annoying behavior.
Get counseling or leave your husband. Let’s see what he does. He’s not your child and his real parents are neglectful. That puts you at a loss.
There’s nothing you can do, your not his mother so just deal with it or end relationship if your partner won’t doing anything.
Most 11 year old boys have alot of energy and can’t sit still very long and also could possible have adhd but don’t sound like his parents want to look at that, so just try to be understanding and give him stuff to do and keep busy , maybe sports , of martial arts , and positive reinforcement . Maybe he’s acting up for more attention , try to do things with just him so you two can get closer . I have been a mom to 3 step sons and have had adhd myself as a child when none had a name for it , and a daughter with adhd . Just keep him busy and give some attention it’s hard but if you can just try to learn knew ways to deal with it instead of getting angry .
Unfortunately, unless or until he actually harms your daughter, his parents won’t listen. Choice is up to you.
It takes true character of strength to raise another man’s child…
Please find your strength
This child deserves Love
U should try researching how to deal with a child that has ADHD. This does not mean he has it. And if he does have ADHD that doesn’t mean he needs meds. How the parents handle him makes a huge difference. If ur constantly correcting every little thing he does, ur doing more damage than good. Learn how to handle a child like this. U should also check with his school to see if there are problems there too.
Sounds like add to me I had 2 of them
As we get older our brain gets less pliable. That means it gets harder and harder to change. Unless you want a 15, 16, 17, and an 18 year old that acts this way you need to consider getting help before the doctor says it’s a shame you waited this long I could have helped you but it’s he’s too old now
Honestl, it sounds like the behavior of a typical 11 year old. Obviously boundries should be set when it comes to getting i the baby’s face but other than that “being annoying” is not a behavioral problem.
But maybe he needs some outlets to burn off his energy. Does he play sports or do any activities when you have him?
Where are you from? Is he able to go outside and burn off some energy? I live in IL and we’ve had some cold a$$ weather lately. My son is soon to be 15 and has ADHD but also drives me crazy at times…partly because he’s a teenager and it happens but partly because it’s been way to cold to go outside and run off some energy.
Mine likes to be outside…he likes playing basketball and football. He likes running.
Maybe your stepson just needs an outlet for some of his energy.
Well then gtfo… you took on that child as your own when you entered the damn relationship so quit being such a cunt.
You give step parents everywhere a bad name and you dont even deserve that title. Omg.
Sounds like u need to keep your sanity. 11 years old is too old for this type of constant attention. I would just leave.
It’s called being a boy. The only reason you “notice” is because society has changed. Instead of those boys being outside doing big things with thier guy friends (usually mischief) as our husbands and fathers were raised… today’s generation won’t get off the electronic vampires. Instead of “running off” that excessive boy exuberance… it manifests/gets expressed in other more aggrivating ways. I know, I got twin boys who are the same as the stepson. We always have a better day on those days I’m able to get them outside (playing, helping with yard work, something) or those days we have wrestling practice (one hour calestenics followed by one hour actual practice). Get him outside or get him involved with sports.
Sounds like the typical male to me 🤷
Sounds like he wants attention. Positive attention and he just dow doesn’t know how to get communicate it.
Unfortunately it seems you dislike your step son in my opinion and I wouldn’t want you around my kids. He’s 11 kids making annoying sounds and he’s going to keep doing it cause he knows it annoys you.
He’s a kid, they make noises…my son is autistic and he constantly hums. I bet you’d feel like a real ass if he was on the spectrum.
Seems you resent him to he honest, poor boy
If you cant fix a 11yr old because hes sound normal to me and if that’s a deal breaker then maybe you should separate from your partner. As you know kids are a package deal and if you dont like the kid then leave .
I agree that he wants attention. And that he prolly does it to bug ya, and jist because he can.
Sure sounds like you don’t like him… Poor kid. Maybe it is you that needs help and not him. 
Sounds normal to me it also sounds like you just want a reason to say something about the boy and try to put him on medication for no reason
Leave them. Sounds like you’d be doing them a favor
This sounds like my 6 year old…
I think it sounds like hes old enough to do what hes told and to entertain himself and quit messing with the baby like hes the only person in the world that matters. If it doesnt bother his mom or dad then he can go make noise around them and get in their face
You need to accept him if u want to be with your partner. If you commit maybe u can get some info on how to help him
Same with my 7 years old step son, he’s also hurting other kids, my nephew and his own brother (his mom’s new baby) … He lies about everything, I know this kid has issues and I’m trying my best to attend to it, but it seems like im the only one doing it, and im tired.
Please try to find the patience. He’s just a kid. When I had my daughter, we had gotten custody of my ex’s 12 yo daughter and 13 yo son. They’d been bounced around so much, they didn’t know which end was up. I gave them kindness at first, then pulled it back when I became pregnant with mine. I regret it to this day… To give those kids hope and love and consistency, then to pull it away so abruptly. They didn’t deserve that, and they so desperately needed it. They’re good now, but hate me. Don’t make the same mistake. Your patience and kindness can make such a difference.
I wouldn’t want no kid getting my baby agitated whether it was my own or stepchild. Sounds like that young man has no discipline and unfortunately you’re going to be the wicked stepmother for being the only one to point it out. Smh
Don’t date someone with kids if you aren’t willing to accept their child/ren. Sounds like your the problem, not him. He probably just wants some damn attention!!! Fucking hell!! First off, he’s a child!!! They make noise, and they’re annoying at times, I highly doubt your daughter is perfectly quiet and never annoys you or anyone else. Secondly, even if he is ADHD, are you suggesting medicating a growing child??? You need to end the relationship, because I seriously feel bad for the child having a cunt of a “stepmom”.
He needs attention. Your husband needs to step up and do more activities with him outside of you and the baby.
On the flip side, should the mother keep this child away from the father…or make visits only at her house nd keep ur other child out his space? How do u deal with that?
Wow…You should’ve considered these issues before creating a family with this man. Just like women with children, it’s a packaged deal when loving a person with children. Too bad you can’t just be a loving person in his life. Poor kid… I hope his father recognizes sooner than later that you’re not someone he should have his son around.
Spend some one on one time- if you think your toddler is annoyed by him, he’s probably always getting in trouble and that’s the attention he gets/ wants. Trade kids for special days and start bonding with him instead of always being annoyed by him. If you can’t put in that effort then the problem could be you. It’s not that long of a relationship.
Don’t judge this young lady, peeps. You don’t know unless you’ve been there. I had a very similar situation which I fucked up, hard. I regret it more than I can say cause my stepson and stepdaughter have every reason to hate me. I gave so much at first, then when I had my own? I left. You need to live it to judge it. Careful. Nobody’s perfect and you might be surprised how you’d do it if it were you.
It sounds like he wants attention. Maybe have your partner take him out for some one on one time? Maybe you could go take him for some one on one time?
He probably is a bit jealous if he’s being mean to the baby. He’s testing your boundaries, and is checking you love him, and that he is still important, as much as the baby.
You need to show him that you do.
1-1 time would definitely help, although this will be slow.
He could have ADHD that is a possibility but he is 11 so they are a little hyper. Either way the child is old enough to know what they can’t and can do and old enough to follow instructions. I would inform my partner if he doesn’t do something about the situation that I’m going to have to leave with my daughter be for her safety. I’d let him know he needs to look into the child’s behavior that it’s not acceptable to be punching and hitting things. he could have ADHD he could have o d d which is oppositional defiant disorder
I have a hyper active son. We don’t medicate him we tolerate and enjoy his happy hyper personality. We let him be himself. We have decided to only mediate if the school complains. Some family members find him loud and annoying so we dont send him around them. This 11 year old you speak about is your partner’s son. He ain’t going anywhere. You either accept him or leave. Thats really what it will boil down to if his parents doesn’t see an issue. Make that decision sooner than later.
If u can’t stand it now and the other person refuses to help out the situation then u need to bounce. It’s about working together to make it a team effort. If it’s just u it will always be just you doing something. I myself do not have the patients and If the other parent refuses to address it or brush it under the rug they don’t care how u feel. It will always b an issue for you if they won’t try n do anything. It’s one thing if he actually try’s to go n figure out if there’s any psychological problems. But if he don’t, then he don’t care enough about your emotional boundaries.
In all honesty the boy wants attention. It surely can’t be easy for him to see his dad with another woman let alone new baby. He may feel replaced. Try doing something fun with him alone and create a relationship. Remember you’re his mommy too. If you’re always too occupied for him it’s never going to stop.
It doesn’t sound like ADHD. His teachers would surely mention something if his behavior was disruptive to the classroom and his learning. It does sound like typical behavior of an attention seeker. If you’ve been trying to “shush” him for the past couple of years, it makes total sense that the behavior continues without change. You need another perspective on this situation. From some of the comments here, sounds like you’re already getting it.
Not to be mean but that’s how kids are at age 11 they are annoying and such if you cant handle him then why bother why not hang out with him chill and talk take him out on a you and him day you should know what it was like before getting into a serious relationship with his dad if you plan on getting married one day to his father he would be your SON! If you get annoyed by him and cant handle it don’t date his dad and become a family plan and simple makes it more easy on both ends then creating problems talk to his dad and mom one day sit them down on a table together and talk things out nicely see what you guys can do all together