Wow. Some of y’all need to chill. The kid is 11. I have an 11yr old so I have an idea of how they should behave. Y’all are quick to comment she hates the child but she seems to be the only one who actually notices his behavior and is trying to find justification for it. If I was in her shoes, I’d be just as concerned having a much younger child around him and not fully knowing whether I can trust my 11yr old with them.
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If you want to be with your partner , you need to take on the mother role for this child too. Not just accept him.
Take both kids to a paediatric appointment for a general check up, and express any concerns there. From there you can look into it. Generally try and help. Don’t just observe, react and complain about it. At the end, he’s the child, you’re the adult.
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He has autism. Just leave. You aren’t going to do shit. You don’t care about his welfare, you have no vested interest in him.
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He’s a kid send him outside would you want someone telling you when your daughter got older she was rowdy and you needed to put her on meds? He is your step son and it seems like you don’t like him tbh. Have you tried to sit and talk to him or you just get annoyed? Have you looked up ways to entertain a child with possible adhd no? Okay then maybe he’s acting out because his mom and dad aren’t together anymore and he has a new little sister ? Do you try and include him in your activities? Maybe you should try a different approach instead of a annoyed or get a divorce cause that’s his son and it always will be.
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Buy liquid melatonin 
no seriously …it works on my child great and it’s safe.
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Please do not let anyone make you feel bad for expecting an 11 year old to behave appropriately abd fir their parents to discipline them. You are not wrong at all. And i know its difficult for you because I’m sure you really love his dad. Have a serious conversation with him, and then do what you feel is best. Its sad that so many people feel like its ok for an 11 year old to be out of control. I am a parent that takes pride in the fact tat i have raised my sons to be respectful and well behaved.
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Give the kid a break…
Maybe approach your partner in a different manner, because of it is adhd, attacking him about it will not help dad make an informed decision. He will feel like you’re attacking him and his son like they’re doing something wrong.
If it is adhd, believe me when I say, the kid cannot control his hyperactivity.
But you, as a grown woman… can!
Be kind and helpful. Please don’t be nasty to him, he’s 11 and just needs love and support.
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A lot of judgement towards the step mother here without knowing the full story. Shes already pointed out that she’s discussed it with the boy’s parents and acknowledges he may be on the spectrum and wants to seek help for it. How is she the bad guy? She wants peace and harmony in her home.
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Amazed on how judgy people are given we only get just a piece of the story… Wow! There is no handbook for raising kids… And having stepkids is even harder… But first n foremost ya gotta love em… Gotta love em & be willing to work with them… Keep an open mind… Be willing to learn n understand… Sometimes it’s just a matter of them feeling acceptance of you or the life change… Children have their own set doubts & insecurities for multitudes of reasons. Maybe you can help facilitate a safe place to express those feelings. Just a thought
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Maybe instead of being annoyed you can take more of an interest in this kid. ADHD & doctors only mean medication which can damage the natural function of his brain into adulthood. You should find him a hobby, an extracurricular activity to help get rid of his WONDERFUL energy. he might want your attention. He might need some extra play time or interaction. go to the gym with him, take him to the park, go sledding or skating or snowboarding with him. take him fishing, get him into D&D. you’re going to regret feeling this way one day when your daughter is too busy with her friends to pay attention to you.
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He’s a kid he didn’t ask for YOU in his life you asked for HIM when you wanted to jump in bed with his dad so deal with it or leave
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Imo it doesn’t matter if he is your step son or any child. Personally, I would put myself in his shoes and I think he may want or need attention. I’d talk to him, connect with him, do an activity with him. . .a walk, a talk, a recipe, a craft, a game, a puzzle, leggos, magnetix, music, etc. Creat a caring, loving relationship with him with memories to last his lifetime. My step mom was amazing, my aunts were amazing and wonderful. Try to stop focusing on the negative. You have an opportunity to impact a child with love and a listening hear. Be kind. So glad you reached out and hope sone of the great Comments help. 
Hang in there. Kids are humans and all humans just want to be heard, to be loved and to be accepted. Be blessed.
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Your partner is in denial and that’s sad.
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He wants attention. Maybe quit getting annoyed with him and show him some damn love and see where his attitude changes instead of just judging him and being annoyed. I can see why he needs the attention 
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These comments though! Some of y’all are rude as hell!
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You don’t sound very caring towards him, he probably picks up on that vibe on top of feeling like his dad doesn’t give him enough individual attention. He’s not ADHD and how dare you try to insist to his parents that he is just because he inconveniences you. Take a hands off approach, don’t say or do shit and let his dad take care of him
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He’s a boy. Mines 3 never shuts up never sits still but is also highly intelligent very funny and can carry on some of the best conversation… 11 years olds aren’t meant to be still for long periods they have so much to learn and explore. Remember what it was like when the whole world was brand new and amazing. Being active isn’t always a medical condition or a need for medication.
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Kids will be kids, if u can’t treat him as ur own kid then y u there, the way u would treat ur daughters hypernes is how u should treat his. My son is ADHD and my husband is not the biological dad. And my kids listen to him a lot because he treats them as they were his. Maybe u should do the same.
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And he’s still a kid 
… If ur significant other child is annoying you maybe you shouldn’t be with a person that has a child … Reevaluate urself before putting it on a kid shit and to the rest of u talking bout this child as well go fuck urself as well no joke and come at me idc if u want to bc let me say this from experience my son used to be the same way and after 6yrs of people talking shit about my son’s behavior I finally told them off and let them know he has a defiant disorder … He was born not to listen to adult authority so keep telling them not to do something makes them do it more… And I’m sorry if I sound rude but they can’t help it and maybe u should bring it to the parents attention and look into getting some help instead of saying he’s driving u crazy all the time something like this boils my blood bc my baby was choked by the librarian at school and then in July my son tried to commit suicide bc he thought it was his fault and it’s not it’s noones fault … Think about it seriously
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Wtf is wrong with all you people? She asks for help and advice on how she should go about this situation shes in and all you people do is put her down. Yes shes a stepmom and knew to accept not only his other children but accepted that she has the opportunity to raise a child that isnt only hers. If you ain’t got nothing nice to say don’t say shit, the real cunts are you assholes. I’d say just make a regular check up and see if PT, OT, Speech, or other ways of helping him keep himself busy. It’s not bad to ask for help, did you guys ever consider that she does spend time with him too, that she tries to give all her children attention? She said nothing about medicating him and you guys all assume that’s what she wants. I really think it was how he was raised before, children know a little bit more at 11, even if they’re late bloomers. They’re capable of understanding too. Dont treat them like babies, this is a time of alot of growth. Fuck yall cunt ass bitches
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I bet my bottom dollar a lot of mom’s on this thread have some unruly ass kids.
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Wow he’s a 11 year old boy and boys tap and make noise… learn to be more patient around him
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My nephew and sister have been thru a similar situation except my nephew was acting out towards my sisters new bf and in school and in after school programs… my nephew did these same exact things and some worse like biting other kids when he was younger than 11 but it had started to progress as he got older, hit puberty and was an almost 6ft 200lb 15yr old who started to scare my sister during his outbursts but she sought help early and he’s been treated and still taking some behavior/mood meds today (and he’s almost 20) I would definitely have a serious talk with his dad or even the boys doctor at his next appt🤷🏼♀️ I would stop calling him annoying though especially in front of him. He’s obviously seeking attention in all the wrong ways and if he doesn’t get help soon there WILL be further issues… either way it’s a behavior/mood issue and should be discussed with a physician for sure
He might feel a little jealous of you both because your not his real mum 
there is a reason why he is acting this way and he might not like showing his feelings ,have you asked him what’s bothering him and why he is acting in this way because boys keep things locked in and they like to act out the way they feel
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Sounds like a classic case of ADHD…
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My 12 year old annoys my younger 2 children and I have to remind him he should know better. As long as he’s not hurting your little 1 it’s just the way some boys are he will soon be a moody teenager like my older 1 lol
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Ok so I am the mom with the son that is difficult. He just is. He demands attention but is really loving just goes from 0 to 100 in 2 seconds. We go through every mood until he gets to bed. We do counciling, play therapy, psych, he will be 10 in a couple days. I have been married and with his step dad for 2.5 years and have an 8 month old son. But here’s the thing even when I tell my husband take a break I got this, he is at every cub scout meeting, practice, fishing, camping. He stepped up and made an effort. For that my son loves him. He is not as bad as he was when we were dating. He works 50 plus hours and then still trys his best. So hang in their. I am sure he is everything you say. Leave your daughter with your husband and go to to the park. Go walk around the mall. Play pokemon go lol. Just find one thing you can do and it will distract him from pushing your buttons and have something to look forward too. You never know if you have another kid you could have the kid that no one wants to be around… and it sucks
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Take him to the park get a dog to keep him busy playing ,running should do the trick. Try playing with the kid he just wants attention. Some kids need a little more attention than others and sometimes not everything can be solved by shoving medication when they don’t need it . Lol I come from a big family I guess I’m just used to it 
I actually hate it when it’s quite lol I start to miss my siblings.
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Omg some of you’ll aren’t being helpful just mean and judgy. At least give a helpful comment I mean she is asking for help…
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Sorry to say all little boys are annoying as hell
But seriously give the kid some attention and stop playing favourites. 
Good luck
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I just love all the perfect moms here🙂
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I think if he had adha it would of been picked on by his mother and the school by now if he’s fine and not getting into trouble or being disruptive at school id say he’s doing it because he’s bored, wants attention or knows it bugs you… If your husband isn’t bothered by any of it maybe your overreacting a bit… How often do you have him? Does he do thing with just his dad in that time, one on one time with dad might help him feel more special and would get him out of your hair for a few hours?
Maybe he doesnt like you
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Look into it. Wouldn’t hurt. And some of these comments omfgosh.
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Wow some of these comments are crazy. She obviously cares about the kid or she wouldnt be asking for help. Sounds like some parents just let their kids now days have no respect or discipline for other. The kid ain’t the only one in the house. Needs to respect others space. I have a 12 year old daughter and she dont act like this but now my 10 year old step son acts like this. It all comes down to how they are tough. Anyone who has kids know they can be annoying. She has tried to talk to his parents about help an seems like they just dont care. She shouldn’t have to be worried about him being around any other kids. I’m kinda dealing with the same problem,but way worse. There is no manual on parenting. Give her a break. Being a step parent is not a cake walk. She is asking for advice not to be bashed or talked bad about. We should be here supporting each other not downing each other. Blows my mind how some people act while other are seeking help!! If you would like you can private message me. We can talk I have been dealing with this but way worse with my step son.
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Let me just say as someone who works in childcare- it sounds like this child is craving attention and he’s bored! If neither of the other parents think ADHD is a contributing factor to his behavior, I doubt it’s something they’re trying to sweep under the rug and rather they honestly don’t think it’s ADHD causing issues. When children are bored or feel like they’ve been put on the back burner, they act out and act annoying to catch attention as well as pass their time.
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I would suggest maybe speaking with the faculty at his school to get an idea of his behavior outside of the home before deciding on your own that he has something wrong with him. Children with ADHD have no control over the disorder and will act in the same manner no matter where they are. If he is calm & well behaved at school, then I would suggest maybe sitting down with him & your husband for a good talk. Figure out why he’s behaving that way. He’s 11 so very capable of communicating his thoughts & feelings.
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Maybe he just misses time with his dad alone and is struggling to adjust to the situation
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He’s entering puberty and the hormones are running rampant. Keep your eyes and ears open. Time and patience might be your best option. Prayers lifted for you and your family.
Sounds like a kid…
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98%of the commenters just conveniently glazed over the midst important part. SHE LITERALLY SAID HE MIGHT BE ON THE SPECTRUM OR HAVE AHDH AND SHE POINTED IT OUT AND IS BEING BRUSHED OFF! And one of you cows had the audacityto accuse her of just wanting to medicate for peace!!! Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. I bet most of you sit up and drink almost every night if not through the day cause your kids get on your nerves and instead of correcting them you rather drink it away and I bet its because you never learned to be honest with yourselves about how shit it gets in reality
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The child who needs the most love , ask for it in the worst ways .
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Bruh it does sound like ADHD and instead of u being helpful ur being hateful and distastefully disgusting as a mom of a kid who has ADHD this makes me sad
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Let’s not forgot this the child
In this story she’s grown woman. She didn’t just meet the boy has he always acted like this or is he acting out because of his new sister ? Calling his parents neglectful js silly because they know their kid. Just like no one can tell any of you mom in this group about your kids you know them. I think you should try and bond with him more he’s probably jealous.
He’s 11. All 11-14 year olds are crazed
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Sounds like he is being failed by every adult in his life including the OP. No advise …just sad for this child.
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So by some of yalls logic, those people with annoying kids shouldn’t be parents? Cause that’s exactly what your comments look like lol 🤦
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Well… My niece was diagnosed with high end autism years ago she use to be the same way, but I know it’s hard being a step parent. Hope things work out for you guys
Ask his teacher to look out for signs of ADHD, this may involve sitting down with him or her and having a discussion to ensure you botha ctually understand all the different ways adhd can present.
If she thinks it may be likely she might be able to talk to the father or send a referral to the right place for assessment.
BTW, you mentioned how his behaviour annoys you and your daughter but you didn’t mention how it affects any other aspect of his life? E.g is he struggling in school with grades or workload, is he getting in trouble, struggling socially, low self esteem or anxiety? Adhd is a lot more than just being hyperactive, in fact not every person with ADHD will appear hyperactive.
Do a bit more research and talk to his teachers to see what he’s like when not at home
He sounds like a kid, just because he won’t sit still doesn’t mean he has ADHD 
he’s a kid, he needs things to do, he has a lot of energy, it just sounds like you don’t have the patience.
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My step son is gonns be 10 years old and he can be annoying but what kid isnt honestly i have 4 kids myself and they annoy me but thats what kids do…spend time with him play games with him it could be a attention thing my step son lives with me full time and hes mine i love him like my own it took time and effort but if u love his dad u should love his son just as much…and one of my sons have adhd if u feel its that give him a cup of coffee make a game and have him run tell him u wanna see how many jumping jacks he can do tire him out i rather do home remedies then medicate my child and watch be someone hes not
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FANTASTIC JOB GUYS
AM I READING THIS CORRECTLY??
Apparently it’s NOT okay to ‘Not be okay’?
Ah, a little diplomacy takes a lot less time that a disgracefully judgemental comment to a hurting step mother reaching out for support.
You should be utterly ashamed of yourselves.
Bored, nasty and uninformed women. Tsk tsk.
I thought this was a support page.
Nope. Lots of do-gooders and lovely ladies sitting on their thrones, passing out cards on how to be the perfect parent because they’re judging a situation they they don’t have a fucking clue about.
I definitely won’t be reaching out to half of the people on here.
Nasty much.
She didn’t ask “Tell me why I’m a bitch”.
She asked a question.
Your ‘truth’ is extremely unwarranted and detrimental. What in the f**k.
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Okay well don’t turn into a pearl Fernandez and punish him for being a kid. Clearly his parents aren’t doing anything to help, and having any kind of disorder or whatever can have a big impact on him especially dealing with the school system and society who seem to condemn children with a condition. I think your best option is to somehow convince the parents he needs some extra help with his behaviour. Not because something is wrong with him, however he could benefit from any professional diagnosis or help and thrive with any necessary medication or therapy. I don’t think there’s anything you can do specifically to diagnose him, change his behaviour or control it. Maybe get a teacher of family doctor to rally with you and convince your partner he may need some extra attention. It doesn’t have to be mean anything negative, if anything it’s commendable to recognize when a child may need some extra support. I hope you are able to help him.
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Girl, my kid does the same and he is ADHD! I put him on meds to help him calm down and also be able to focus on his school work! I’ll be honest he is my baby (he is 12) but if he’s not on his meds he drives me insane! I also know if he didn’t take his meds before school because I receive phone calls from his school. I don’t want other people to have to deal with his annoying shit so he will remain on his meds! I’m sure there is going to some of you who think I’m a bad mom, but in reality you are the same or you’re too occupied with other stuff to care what your kids are doing!!
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My heart goes for the boy. To me it feels like he did not receive the right attention from his parents and adult environment, he didn’t receive acceptance, understanding, love. This might be a way of seeking those things. Sit down, you and your husband and embrace this boy in every way you can. Listen to him, be there for him, love him.
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Pretty normal kid behaviour…
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He has some form of tism. It’s just finding the right help. My son does exactly what you have just described.
Has the school said or done anything? If it’s that bad, I’d imagine they’d mention something. Otherwise this woman is just mean and needs to stay away from the kid.
My son is like that. He just needed to channel his energy in a positve way. My 1.5 year old daughter gets annoyed with him cause he is always in her face and is sometimes mean to her, typical sibling stuff. I dont suspect ADHD, but a child who doesnt get as much attention as a baby would and miss it, or a child who just has too much energy and nothing to do with it. Try finding a hobby for him or an activity that will keep him totally occupied.
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What u can try is to make very annoying sounds he doesn’t like. Play classical music if he hates it. Then he will see how it feels and maybe stop. Have u tried just sitting with him and talking to him. He’s not stupid he is almost a teenager
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To me, it sounds like he is needing and craving more attention. Now that may sound bad but try and think about his situation and emotions. Mommy and daddy are no longer together. Daddy found another woman. And also, there is new addition, being your daughter added to the equation as well. That is a lot for a child to try and handle. Sometimes children will intentionally or subconsciously (possibly both) "act out’ or become “annoying” to get some type of reaction. If they aren’t getting a certain level of praise or attention or feel that love, attention or even affection are being taken and/or given to someone else, especially in cases where they are around it and witnessing it, they will do off the wall things to, at that point, gain ANY form of attention because all eyes will at least temporarily be on them. I will go as far as to say it is a feeling of jealousy. New mommy and new baby are getting (in his eyes) most or all of the attention. I am in no way saying that you are being neglectful nor am I agreeing or disagreeing that he may have ADHD or any other underlying cause to his behavior. Just analyzing it as a whole. Maybe when he is with mom, he is getting more of that one on one interaction and therefore she doesn’t see or even possibly believe that these things are happening or there is an issue because she isn’t experiencing these problems in her home so to her, things are fine. Also, dad is basically stuck in the middle of you and mom and may even feel like the knot in the middle of a rope in a game of Tug-Of-War between you and her. I am NOT taking sides just to be clear, just trying to break down the situation. For example: I had a long term boyfriend that lived with me for most of our relationship. My son, even still, ADORES him (he is not the biological father). Granted, this was in the last 3 to 4 months of said boyfriend living with us and my son is barely turning 3 in a little over a week. But during this time period, I noticed that my son was starting to throw these ridiculous tantrums. We are talking about kicking, screaming, throwing things, breaking things even like the brand new TV, etc. Knowingly doing these things while staring at me waiting for the reaction and KNEW it was wrong and he would be in trouble. I didn’t know what to do and was so frustrated. Deep down inside I thought that maybe he just wanted the attention so on and so forth and mind you, I was with my son basically 24/7 so we were ALWAYS around each other. A couple of months into said boyfriend not being around anymore and me staying with a relative, he hardly EVER throws any tantrums, has become much more proficient in his manners and is way calmer than ever…because more of my focus was back on him. And I now realize that as time passed and with my boyfriend living with me and always being around, my son wasn’t getting as much from me as he was before because I was juggling being a mother as well as a relationship and he was not used to that nor did he understand. Nothing changed in the way I would care for him or treat him but I do believe some jealousy took place and he is very attached to me. That all being said, I am certainly no expert but from the information you have provided, that is my personal opinion. Try implementing a little more praise, a fun activity to do with just him every once in awhile. Just something to do a little more to let him know “Hey, we are here and we do see you and love you and there is no reason to go off the wall annoying and crazy just to get what you want or need so lets work this out and find a method that makes everyone happy and be a family unit”. And actions can speak louder than words. I’me not saying have a straight family meeting and sit down to try and explain it to him…Easier said than done, absolutely but worth a shot. What do you have to lose right? Best of luck to you and your family 
*** Please forgive the novel, I type fast and was trying to be thorough***
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Sounds like he’s crying out for attention to me!
Relax
Or u will b portrayed as the evil step mother
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Maybe he needs attention and some interesting activities to keep him occupied and focus his energy. Try to treat him with love, patience, and understanding.
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My son is on the spectrum. I’m in a rural area and his school counselor that sees him every week blames It on his teacher (she’s been teaching a small class of k-2 for 30 years.) He said his job is getting the kids through her class with some kind of self respect after he is done dealing with her for the three years they are in her class. He doesn’t display the destructive behavior I have heard about at home. I honestly am at a lose after how to deal with his behavior and I’ve been trying for three years to get help. It’s not an easy thing to deal with but keeping the baby safe is a priority along with getting the older kid help. It’s what you signed up for. If you can’t speak up the step kid how so you expect the same for your own kid?
He’s 11 coming from a broken home, sounds fairly normal to me that he’s acting out against females after his own mother rejected him. I hope you will consider family counseling to get you through this.
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I think you as the STEP mum need to back off if both parents are not accepting something is wrong then so should you and respect there decision
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Sounds like you just described my son (ASD)
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Regardless of whether she likes the kid or not, it sounds like he is acting like a 5/6yo at 11yo. At this point, it’s necessary to find out whether he actually has a problem. There’s no harm in finding out whether he’s on the spectrum or has ADHD. There’s only positives. If it is known he has a specific problem, you can figure out how to deal with him and help him become more comfortable with his environment. If he does have a problem it will more than likely be affecting his schooling, his relationships with people and most likely WILL affect the rest of his life. Finding the root of the problem could save the poor kid a lot of troubles in the future.
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Why are y’all bashing the woman? She has obviously asked for help from his parents but they don’t see it. If she didn’t give a fuck about him then She wouldn’t be on here asking for help!! Got damn people are ridiculous. He is not a baby. From what I’m reading he has no damn discipline from either parent and the stepmother is trying to help. The kid is 10 and can’t sit still in one spot. It isn’t like they have been together for 6 months. She said years. Either he has a behavioral disorder or he doesn’t give a shit.
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Look, from my experience as a father, every time i used to go out with my boy they used to tell me the same thing “you should check your son,he’s to hyperactive, they’ll give him medicine for that” and my reply always was, "there’s a medicine to cure being a child "? You have to let a kid BE A KID!! My point is; being a parent is not always having it easy.
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Are you legally allowed to be his advocate? If so… please be his advocate. If you think you can’t handle it, imagine how he feels!
Dear stepmom, I will not bash you over your concerns. That would be ignorant. I would be truly concerned about any child who at that age acts out. What you should do is video every situation that he is a part of. Show his pedestrian, & get his/her professional opinion. I am neither one of the above. I encourage you to act on your gut, not folks that sprew, “oh that’s normal”, or “kids just act like that” NO! There is a something causing this behavior. Trust your gut.
Wishing you the best of the best.
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Just show him love and do activities with the boy. Be the best step mom your can be and raise him the best you can. In the mean time find one on one time for you and your significant other. That is also very important. To make things work you have to show this boy love and trust. It does not happen over night. I’ve been dragged threw hell and back by my step kids… The boy that’s my step son loves me so much and we have such a good relationship. Stop nagging about him all the time and giving into what bothers you about him and give him guidance.
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How about sending dad and son out to cinema or swimming just the 2 of them. He probably wants some attention from his dad.
I had the same situation a few years ago. They need quality time alone xx
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Step mom to mom. Drives me bat shit crazy. Cut it asap. His kid is slow and my kid feeds into it and all his grades have dropped along with respect and morals. Run.
How frustrating for you, but he is just a kid going through big changes, puberty, etc plus his mum and dad not together. Is he with you and his dad full time? Perhaps he needs love. He needs you to be his friend , he already has parents. How long have you been his step mum? Maybe he’s bored, maybe he needs attention? I don’t know. Try not to be judgmental.
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Wow look at all the people that just let their kids run wild and be heathens. No wonder this latest generation is so much trouble. Also, seems a lot of people have forgotten how the family structure works. Kids come after parents always. Her hubby needs to step it up and put his wife first and address the situation.
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I don’t understand the 2nd or 3rd sentence.
Get him addicted to praise and approval. He’ll love it and always strive for more by being good.
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An 11 year old should NOT be bothering a 1 year old. He needs disciplined for that regaurdless. His father should be stepping in to at least try and get his wild or obnoxious behavior under control. Thats seriously not okay for a child that much older to be mean to a baby/toddler like that.
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Tell bf until it’s fixed or dealt with you’ll be at another house.
Um, you sound like a bit of a bitch. It’s definitely you and not him. His mother sees no problem, but you do. Let the kid be a kid. At least he is home and not out running the streets making real trouble. Smh.
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Hes 11 and once was use to being an only child. I have a daughter that was an only child for 11 yrs who got tons of attention and when her step siblings came along she wasnt use to having to share her parent. So she became annoying trying to compete for the full attention back. When your use to certain things in life like having all the attention not having to share your parent with a new significant other or sibling it turns a child’s normal into a spin. Maybe he’s trying to figure out now where hes at in this life. Maybe he’s not annoying the 1.5 yr old but rather trying to interact and just dont know how because hes been an only child. Not every child that constantly moves or craves attention or does annoying things is adhd or on the spectrum. He’s simply a boy who well honestly boys makes annoying noises (plays drums on things, makes annoying noises out of their mouth etc) just sounds like your a stressed step mom because you have him. Maybe Dad needs to interact with him more. He just seems like a kid craving the attention back.
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My step son, used to take all. The labels off. Y can food, unscrew my salt and pepper lids, switch all my VCR tapes to wrong boxes, remove all the books and un alphabet them. He done that because his mother said i was OCD. Drove me and my daughter crazy. Was mean to my daughter even called princess paige do no wrong…that was his mother…nothing helped…good luck
Try ignoring it as best as possible (if he is not in danger or hurting anyone,). It might just be like my step son had gone thru s phase where it was all meant for attention. Even thou we give them attention he might be in s phase where he just figured he needs all of the attention. My stepson told me years later that he was sorry but he felt he was sharing his dad (too) much in his eyes. So he did anything and everything to keep anyone else from getting an ounce of attention. Now he and I are best friends as he is close to his step siblings.
Wow. People are so mean and rude on this post. I relate in a similar way with a step daughter (8 yr old) and 5 month old. My step daughter and I are very very close. She tells me everything wether from school to her bio mom. She gets rough with the baby sometimes and I have to remind her to be gentle because baby can’t play rough until she’s older. I talked to her dad about things I noticed with her… we got it checked out and it turned out it was from her past traumas with her mom. All I can say is don’t give up. Talk to him, talk to his dad coming in at a different angle and hold your ground. Forget these mean people. You want to have a happy united family just as I do. It takes time and patience. You’re doing great one thing that helped us was me showing her she is just as important in my life as the new baby! I give her special tasks and responsibilities so she knows she is helpful and great big sis.
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Look up occupational therapy for kids with ADHD… we do crab walks and animal yoga, wall push ups, all that good stuff and it calms my little guy like no other to the point that he can sit down and have a convo without the crazy noises or jumping around. We also do obstacle courses with what they call “heavy work” and a lot of jumping. He just needs help releasing his energy. I was that kid too. And now I’m that adult, and let me tell you how much all that energy comes in handy now. Good luck mama.
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I would personally seek help from my child’s pediatrician or his school (admin, teacher, nurse) can also be a big help.
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Everyone of you need to sit down and talk. Make a doctor’s appointment if you believe ADHD is the child issue. I have 2 children with ADHD, and if I thought my partner was “annoyed” by my child with a special need they would definitely have to get steppin, because I wouldnt have it. If your so annoyed with an 11 year old then maybe you need the help.
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To me it sounds like hes craving attention. Try and invole him in we things like making cakes and let him show his little sister what to do ect, put the spotlight on him for a little and you will probs see a difference. My son is 7 and he has a little sister at 2 and a little brother at 1 and he kept doing the same. I realised it was just for attention as i was always busy with the other 2. Now i noticed what i was doing i involve him alot more and ask him to show his brother and sister how to do certain things and he loves it as he feels usefull and since iv noticed and changed the way i speak to him hes a different boy. Pure well mannered kind thoughtfull and a heart of gold, this time last year i was ready to give him away 
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Could it actually be you tho?? Think about it your a relatively new mum still you have mentioned you have 1 kid that is 1yrs old your in for a rude awakening it’s not that serious a boy his age has boundless energy he needs sports he needs to be outside playing with friends running jumping riding bikes ect that’s actually normal he needs an output for all his energy…
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Simple…he wants his dads attention. Tell dad to give it. One on one. He may feel you are always around. My kids are adults, they still get one on one attention from me without their stepdad.
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He feels left out and seems to be trying to get your attention by any means. Just love him. Hug him when he’s acting up and tell him what a great kid he is and how grateful you are that he’s in your life. Tell him he’s gonna make a great big brother and how lucky your daughter is to have him as a protector. He is looking for your love and approval. If you don’t believe just try it. It’ll change your family Dynamics for the better.
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My bf 12 year old can be very annoying at times very rude hits me he don’t mean to be that way in this case it’s his the youngest boy of three and boys are normally rough( I have four kids myself that are almost grown three of witch are boys so I get it) he can’t stand still either and can be a pill. I talked to my bf when he left a bruse who in turn got on him told him never hit a girl. Now the boy will still be a boy but we have a new understanding. It does help I have a healthy relationship with his mom too we talk and figure things out for what is best for the boy. Best way to deal with this is let his bio parents handle the real discipline but do be firm
I’m annoyed by this post .your annoyed by an 11 year old
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Take a breath i have an 11yo son and he gets wound up too… make him go outside and run off some energy give him something to do hes a boy and he needs to expell his energy
Ahhhhhh I can imagine how frustrating this must be
My son is adhd and I can see how annoying he could potentially be to someone else.
Do school have any concerns could you tag along to a parents evening
My other thoughts are 11 is stil a young age to be processing all the change no matter how many years you have been together, especially with a new sibling maybe he’s just trying to find his place within the new family unit. Sending hugs regardless as I am fully aware of how challenging the situations can be x x x
Some of the mums on this group Jesus christ, shes Concerned for her family, her partner And that little boy or can some of you not read. In my opinion at 11 years old you should be able to Control yourself and your behaviour that is standard a child from 6+, not get in people faces ect and behave the way the poster has described, I’d be feeling the same as this lady, this little boy shows alot of the signs especially for his age also that he is on the spectrum or has ADHD. I would at least be going forward with speaking to somone about these behaviours, I would be concerned
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My son who is adhd is like that. And we have a little girl less then two years.
We have easy to follow but strict rules. We give him one reminder, then “quite time” for one minute, in the same room if he does it again.
If he doesn’t want to do the “quite time” for one minute in the same room, then we have a “timeout” spot that he goes there for 2-5mintes. But no more then five because that’s all he can handle.
I would talk to the father about some house rules and consicensis. And if you need to then talk to him about saying the rules are good structure and about teaching him proper behaviour around his younger sibling
I’m starting to think this page is a venue for bullies…
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