Sounds like he’s begging for attention good or bad he will take it, maybe he feels that the younger sibling is the golden child and he’s trying to be noticed, not that that’s the correct way to go about it but he’s11 so… Maybe counseling and some alone time with his father. Also kindness can go a long way, I understand he’s annoyed you but maybe your showing it to him and he’s hearing the conversations between you and his father. Give him some love and understanding and when he acts up completely ignore him which would take away the attention from being bad. So being annoying would not work anymore… when he does something kind or appropriate shower him with praise! But both you and his father should shower with praise only for the kind appropriate behavior and completely ignore the annoying behaviors unless he crosses boundaries, then calmly let him know he goes to his room for a half hour and the next time would be an hour
The more you say something to him, the more he’s going to do it. It’s attention seeking behavior.
He’s an 11 year old boy with ADHD… just be good to him. Don’t take swings at the mother, it’s a damn hard job.
Why don’t you take a day and spend the whole day with him. Take him somewhere special, get him something special. Have FUN with him and only him. Make it into a routine a once a month event. If he is seeking your attention this will help.
Maybe he really does have ADHD. It would definitely be stressful if the dad is sitting around like nothings wrong. Nothing worst than an annoying kid lol. Yep I said it!!
Other people’s kids are irritating. Remember that.
He just needs some attention and might just be bored. You should take him out for the day and do an activity that’ll be fun and keep him busy.
None of yall seem to have read this in its entirety. So… for all y’all that said “she’s annoyed at an 11year old?” She’s not annoyed with an 11 year old just because he’s acting like a typical 11 year old. He’s getting in her one year olds face and harassing the baby enough to annoy the baby.
“Well you’re not doing anything to help” she’s brought it up to the parents and they refuse to do anything. Even testing would confirm or deny but the bios have their heads up their asses apparently.
You all are acting like you know everything and the OP is some horrible nasty neglectful woman. Get some decorum and think and read the post fully before you let yourselves spread hate and stupidity
Thats how 11 year olds are, does not sound like adhd to me especially boys. Get him involved with sports or clubs. This is so the reason why my kids can’t have a stepparent because no one truly loves your child like you,I am a mom of 4 and I can absolutely promise you all 11 year olds are annoying…kids can be extremely annoying from 8-14 honestly before they get their own lives…but he sounds VERY bored to me, my sons were in ALL sports and several clubs. I made sure they were too tired to annoy me more than the average!
Give him Mt.Dew, if he has ADHD, this will calm him down. And the best thing to do for your child with ADHD, is create a very structured schedule doing the same thing so he knows what is expected. Remember he is a boy, and 11 year old boys ADHD or not all do strange things including make nonsense noises. Safe words for reminder not to do those things help too, and they dont embarrass the child when others are around. My son knows when we say “grasshopper” it’s too much reset and that’s your warning… I dont explain it to someone else, the word just gets randomly said. And the nonsense sounds, or behavior that he seeing as a joke someone else is seeing as disrespect stops and we move on with our day. I never say it more than twice. And if you remember kids are just looking for attention any attention negative attention is the easiest to get. . . Try to replace that will all posative, you can see a change when the love and trust the two of you shifts, he will respond to your efforts and love positively, but it wont happen over night.
This kid is from a split home! He didn’t ask for any of this to be going on in his life… to have to split everything between two homes! I acted out towards my step mom on purpose in the beginning, I hated her, I thought she was taking my dad from me, that I would no longer be wanted by him and they didn’t even have another kid!!! Did you stop to think maybe he thinks he’s being replaced? If you can’t step up and handle this you need to probably leave 
no matter what I did my stepmom was there, she loved and supported me when I didn’t even deserve it… and once I realized she wasn’t trying to replace my mom, take my dad away, whatever, I chilled out! Now we are BEST friends, closer then me and my bio mother by far!!! There is a fine dance to be done here, some can cut it some can’t… before further messing this child up think of taking your leave.
It sounds like that’s the only way he can get attention. Unfortunately kids learn doing bad things gets them attention, because that’s the only way they get it. He’s probably going to need a lot of positive reenforcment to turn it around. Try not to hold resentment towards him.
The boy needs parents who will listen! Get him tested! Use common sense and stop judging the stepmom! It’s the kids parents who are responsible and right now they should be getting him tested! At 11 he should now better and if he’s not listening and being mean her toddler, she has every right to be upset! Get off your high horse! Step parenting when the bio parents don’t help when issues come up create a Hell all on their own!
Idk why you would marry a person if their child from a previous relationship “annoyed” you smh
Ooo some of these comments are so nasty… Is this a support page or just somewhere to bitch…?
I think a lot of you forget she’s a STEP parent. She can only intervene so much. She literally has no “control” over that child. She’s probably limited on discipline and it’s not like she can go anywhere and get that child tested to see what’s going on … come on people use your head. I have a 4 year old and yes she can be annoying she can drive me up the dang wall sometimes and she’s mine. Have any of you dealt with a kid on the spectrum or with severe adhd? They are like 5 kids in one. You have no clue what coping skills she has used with this boy how she actually presented any of this to either parents bc I’m sure the post would be a dam novel. What’s the point of asking for help when people only pick apart the points that mean anything to them??? And not the person that’s trying … I wish you luck my dear kids are hard and being a step parent is even harder. Perhaps try a different approach with your partner or different parenting techniques if you havnt already.
There is multiple things that could be going on with him for one he could just need more attention he may feel like he’s not getting it and his tried to cry out for it 2 he could be highly ADHD but I would be careful putting him on medicines for that my son is ADHD and my daughter is ADHD they make noises they do different things at different times and they cannot focus on one thing at a time however I could never put them on medicine because what a lot of that medicine does to kids I just let them be kids and ask them to quit when they do it or have them go to their rooms if they want to continue to do it has he ever been checked for being autistic because that is something autistic kids do as well doesn’t necessarily mean that he has it cuz like I said my kids do it and they are not artistic that’s just a number of things that could be possibly going on with him so he may not be able to help the things that he’s doing because he has not known what’s going on it is something that should be looked into it doesn’t mean he’s any different then anyone else he may just need to be approached differently if you and your spouse are married then that is now your son as well so I would continue to talk to your spouse about having him check to see what may be going on or he could just be a very hyper child he’s at that age and kids tend to be hyper and sometimes annoying you just have to let them be kids try to have a little bit more patience with him sometimes that’s what it takes with certain kids including mine
I had a step parent… a few of them in fact. It was my goal as a kid to drive them up the wall because I did not like them. I have adhd plus other things but if your step kid doesn’t think you like him, I’ll tell you now he knows and it’s probably on purpose.
This is why I don’t have step kids.
Best thing you can do for your stepson ,is get his father to listen. Talk with dad again ,and again. Get him to take the child to a doctor. You can go get paper work to see if he is indeed ADHD or ADD. You just fill the answer form out. That will give you a good idea right off the bat . In the mean time if you change his diet. Take out most sugers, drinks with red food coloring in it. Follow a regiment with his activities. Take him to the park or out to do things that are active. Good luck
11 year old boys can be annoying. It’s what they do. Get over it. When your daughter gets that old I promise you she will be worse!
My advice… be a family. My kids are growing up in a split family home and we do everything in our power to have them realize it is one BIG family, not mom and stepdad family or dad and step mom family… just family. Regardless of who shares blood and who doesnt, because as a child who was adopted blood doesnt make you a family. Love does. I imagine the boy is confused, he went from having his dad to himself, to sharing his dad with you, and now he has to share you both with a sibling. That is a lot on a child whether they are 3 5 11 or 17. My children were 11 13 and 15 when we brought our newest into the world. The one thing we made sure to do was to tell the kids there is no such thing as step or half, we are just FAMILY. And we go out of our way as parents to make sure that there is no divide between our children. We never wanted our kids to feel that when their little brother came along they were less important or not a part of the entire family unit. It honestly sounds like a boy crying out for attention. He probably feels very confused and alone since his new sister came along. Make him feel apart of things. Have him help with his sister. Hey buddy can you go make a bottle for your sister, I’ll show you how. Can you go grab the wipes so we can clean her up and then we will go to the park. Most kids when they want or need attention they will act out negatively because negative attention is still attention. And in most situations negative attention will get them more attention than positive. Kids are annoying, even your daughter one day will start annoying the shit out of you. It’s just how the cookie crumbles. But in this situation I think that your son feels a divide in the house, as if you and your husband and your daughter are a family and he is just a visitor. Involve him. The more you do the less he will feel the need to act out to get the attention he craves.
I want to start off by apologizing for all of these rude ass women. I hope you ignore them and can read some of the helpful comments. I totally get it. I have my own BIO son that absolutely drives me crazy most days. I have wrote similar posts asking for advice on how to help him. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to have no control over the situation. You need to get your SO on board and hopefully his mother or nothing will change. I’m praying for you and your family. With that said look into SPD (sensory processing disorder) it very much resembles ADHD but they are different. My son has SPD so I know a lot of his problems can’t be helped, but it doesn’t mean I don’t get extremely frustrated with it and him…We are only human. If his parents aren’t on board it could be hard, but if it’s SPD there are excercises you can do with him while he’s in your care that will help regulate him. My son does these loud annoying screams when he gets really out of sorts so we do a lot of heavy work like pushing walls or pulling heavy baskets. As odd as it sounds (and it wont once you look into SPD) it helps. Just do what you can to help him and love him because chances are he doesn’t want to act this way. Kids do well if they can. Some just need some extra help from us to get there. Take time for yourself too. It’s so hard having an atypical child and I imagine it’s even harder when they aren’t biologically yours. You are allowed to have feelings about this and you are allowed to want peace in your home. Dont let these hateful women tell you otherwise. I can guarentee most of them don’t have a hard child to parent 24/7. You’re welcome to message me if you need to vent or have any questions about SPD.
Sounds like a typical boy. Give him something to occupy his time. Sports, games, etc. Boys are not the same as girls. You don’t need to jump to ADHD. You need to allow him to grow.
I have been in my relationship for 4 years now we have a combined family my boyfriend has a son I have a daughter and we have a daughter together we don’t in anyway let them feel like they are different all of our children look at us both as mom and dad. With that being said my son or step son how ever you want to look at it drives me up a wall sometimes and he has adhd odd and a adjustment disorder it took me till last month to even get my boyfriend to think about getting him assessed for add/adhd. My son would pee in his room break things torment my oldest daughter and he would take things from everyone he took 120$ out of my purse one time so I totally know how you feel. Not only can you not discipline him as your own child you have no legal right to try to help him either which is so so so hard cause you are left feeling like you are failing him and not only him but your child and that burns a hole into your heart. They told us that the reason he acted this way was because of his adhd and odd but also because it’s his way of having control he can’t control what goes on in his life “his mom and dad splitting” or other things so he controls what he does even if that means acting out in harmful ways or being annoying. My sons bio mom is an addict so she is always in and out of his life we have him in counseling and are trying some medication. But you need to have a serious conversation with you SO so you as a family can be comfortable. There is nothing wrong with you and there is nothing wrong with your 11 year old he is his own person and he needs things different than you your SO and your baby. You will find something there are lots of support groups and things out there for family’s. The family place is a great one call your city health department they can give you some places to reach out 
! Parenting is hard and parents get annoyed with their children and if anyone says they don’t they are lying 
I love my children with every inch of me but does not mean they don’t get on my nerves, you are not alone if you ever need someone to talk to you can message me and we can talk!
I would honestly join a step mom group for questions like this. People who aren’t in this situation will never understand and you’ll come across as the bad guy.
He sounds like a normal 11 year old, I have an 11 year old daughter who fits his description and she is perfectly fine an normal, she doesn’t not have ADHD, in all honesty it’s when she is bored that she acts like, she also annoys her 2 year old brother.
I think you feeling like you have to keep an eye on your daughter when he’s around is a little dramatic on your part unless you are not disclosing everything about your stepson, your daughter will be annoyed by a lot of people in her lifetime, but the way I am reading it is you fear he is going to hurt her 
and I am curious as to why
An 11 year old making annoying noises and being obnoxious!! Whaaaaaaaat??? That’s so bizarre I’ve never heard of anything so crazy.
I’m sure he senses the way you feel about him. Just from reading this, I gather you probably show your annoyance and frustration towards him. I feel bad for him. I hope you’re kind to this poor boy, he needs it.
Sounds like hes not getting enough positive attention, so he’ll take the negative.
Try replacement behaviors. " hey bud I see you have a lot of energy today could you try doing (enter preferred activity) instead of clapping in your sisters face?"
Even without a formal diagnosiss, you can do some research on ADD or autism and start using techniques that work for those kids, like redirection, have them repeat instructions, eye contact, etc, you can help the situation.
For the last couple of years he has driven you crazy?! Kids aren’t supposed to be just seen. He’s obviously dealing with some attention issues but not ADHD. You didn’t know this kid before you came into the picture to know what he’s like without you there. Maybe that’s why his parents don’t see an issue. Maybe he’s having a hard time adjusting to the changes? You don’t know what’s going on in life at his Moms either. Try bonding with him. Take him out, just the two of you and have some fun. Try to be his friend. And most of all don’t consider him an annoyance or step anything. You’re a family. Treat him as you would your own child.
Sounds like hes trying to get attention and from the looks of it, this is what gets him attention. It’s hard for children who are the only child to be thrown to the back burner once a new child is introduced. Theres a missing 11 year old boy here in Colorado who’s name is Gannon Stauch, his story and whereabouts are heavy on my heart but read up on his story and hug your 11 year old step son and love him as you do your baby. Good luck on your situation.
Sounds like he’s bored !! You guys should help him burn his energy everyday and do something as a family and help grow it . My first thought is , he’s craving attention
If Mom NOR Dad wants to help him theres nothing you can do. Leave.
I think you & your kid need to move the f#*k on. If you don’t like his child then it will never work. His kid comes before you sweetie no matter what age!
My son used to irritate me and others on purpose constantly. We used to react every time but I realized it was his way of getting attention even if it’s negative attention. He wants to be paid attention to constantly and of course that’s not possible. Eventually I started to ignore him when he acted like that. He is not nearly as bad now. I praise him for good behavior and when he does the attention seeking bad behaviors I ignore him. He’s doing much better now!
That is a normal 11 year old boy. Give him some attention. Bond with him.
I raised six. His, mine, ours. Kept his kid and divorced him. We’re a family. I can honestly say now, now that they are all grown, I probably don’t have a good answer for how to fix the SO problem. But, I can tell you this. If you can catch him being good, praise him. Smother him with love. And that is so hard. But if you make him feel wanted he will try very hard to help you help him. It takes time and consistency. But it’s worth it. When he gets used to seeking you out for comfort and affirmation your relationship will bloom into something so much more than you ever imagined. And maybe when his dad sees how much he loves you and how much you love him, he will be more open to finding some way to help that baby. But you need to realize that he’s got 11 years of bad habits to break. And you’re going to have to help him. He knows he frustrates you. It may be his way of getting your attention. If his mother is an addict he has no idea how a mom is supposed to treat him. Show him lots and lots of love. Talk to him. Be honest with him. Tell him that you want to love him and show him that love like you do for the other child. He’s old enough to know what he’s doing, and young enough to not know how to get the support and affection he craves. Any attention is good in his eyes. Show him the good stuff. Even if you have to make up a reason. Parenting is hard. Raising kids is hard. Knowing the best way to deal with a child is hard. Loving them is easy. Give him that warm, sweet mommy love and the rest will be easier. I’m not even going to pretend that it’s easy to find a solution, because that’s a lie. It’s not. But finding ways to give him positive attention and show him the affection he’s probably craving is a really good place to start. And for all that have so many harsh opinions and are so quick to shame and place blame. Shame on you. You aren’t there. You have no idea what drives him. Or her. She asked for help. Not to be called out and judged. All tye perfect mommies here need to take a breath. You aren’t real or right. And you haven’t helped anyone here but yourself.
The best advice I can give you is to just love him. And let him see that. Maybe make some time for just you and him. Reassure him. Let him see that you do care and will continue to be a constant in his life.
Six grown kids later, the love outlasts all the hardships. And it is worth it.
All of you say anything about her and her daughter needing to just leave, clearly don’t have step children 
I’ve struggled with with a similar situation for almost 9 years now, my step daughter is now 17. You don’t just leave the man you love, but because you love him you also don’t make him choose between you and the kid. 1st, try talking one on one with the kid. Be honest, but also don’t be mean, remember he’s a human too with the same kind of feelings as you. Ask HIM if there’s something you can do to help. Don’t dismiss his ideas, actually engage. Chances are you’ll continue to deal with this, but it should gradually decrease if you’re finding things that start to help. Being a step mom is the hardest job I’ve ever done. Best of luck mama, just keep your head up.
My son is just like this and he has ADHD! Get him into an activity asap! It could be LEGO league, swimming, anything that will help him get that energy out!
Imo I’d suggest trying to be more… involved with him. And really all I mean by that is offering to take him and your daughter to the doctor so you could possibly get him checked. I mean, there isn’t going to be anything that can be done at that point other than present the facts. If he does have ADHD then you were right. And regardless of if his bio parents are on board, they at the very least have to acknowledge it and take care of it. If he didn’t, then you need to just come up with some sort of gameplan that will possibly bring some peace between him and… literally everyone else. Possibly some melatonin in the evening to get him to cool down and progressively he’ll be able to either get himself tired out quicker, or he’ll just mellow himself out and play a bit more calmly. Ofc this is just my 100% honest and unbiased opinion.
Sounds like he just wants attention and he’ll take it how ever he can get it.
Why don’t you try applying the kid’s attention and energy.
Take them to the park, or sky zone or something. Buy a trampoline or basketball hoop and send that kid outside to play from time to time.
Create games/activities for you to ALL bond together over.
And I also like the ideas people are saying to avoid reinforcing the negative/pesky behaviors and to reward the good ones.
Im not going to weigh in with an opinion. I just want to say I had a stepmom growing up from a young age and I know things were not always easy for her with three extra kids and two of her own. One with challenges too. I will just say I am who I am today because of her. My life would have turned out much different without her. Ive lost both my parents and she. continues to be there. For all of us. I love her like my own mother. Hang in there. You will change this boys life.
I’m literally in the same exact situation 10 yr old stepson and a 2 yr old of my own and every time my son is around his brother he gets hurt and my stepson never shuts up( like every thought he has falls out his mouth) dad refuses to look into anything too. But his mom abandoned him at 6 and his therapist told us until he processed it hell be stuck at the mentality of a 6 yr old. He used to be the smartest most helpful child now hes so lazy and disrespectful. I don’t have any advice, but know your not alone.
It’s totally normal for an 11 year old my oldest nephew dose it too. Just tell him to go play outside in the back run off that energy
He needs something to pour his energy into.
You need to get out now! His parents won’t do anything until he is in trouble with the law!! Experience talking here!
Find a new relationship
It sounds like he just wants attention, maybe try asking if he wants to play some games or go outside to run around, play hide and seek just anything so he doesn’t have to just sit! Boys are rough and tough and most certainly the most wildest things I have ever seen lol that’s just boys!! If he’s not harming anybody or disrespectful towards you or your child then I see nothing wrong with him being wild. My boys would tear down my house if they didn’t play outside or have some type of activity going on, we would all lose our minds, that’s just the way boys are they’re attention span is none existent! Definitely not bashing you or anything like that just thought I’d give you some advice for my mom with wild boys😊
Spend some one on one time with your stepson. Take him to parks to burn his energy.
Suggest therapy if his dad doesn’t want him on medication also… hate to say it but maybe consider therapy for you and your husband because he doesn’t seem to be stepping in to discipline and that’s affecting your marriage
So he loves you guys and wants to play with his step sister? He sounds like an 11 year old.
If you are the only one who sees a problem you are probably just being overly irritable 
People like you are the exact reason children are over diagnosed with ADHD.
Um is it just me or does this sound like a typical boy… some of your responses have me concerned on why the hell some of you are step parents… my children are 19,18,11 and 9. My son is 11 and my daughter is 9. My bonus kids are 19 and 18. My husband and I have been together 7 yrs. It sounds like a typical boy. Some of you may be over medicating your children smh. To the other lady that said get out now and something about criminal record. Unfortunately that was your experience and not everyone elses. Smh… its not all the same bc my 19yr old was the same way and he’s In the Airforce. Super proud of him. My 18 yr old bonus daughter is amazing and so is my 11 and 9 yr old. They are CHILDREN.
My now 12 year old is the same.
Love him , pay attention to him give him what you give her , make him feel loved by you, talk to him he feels intimidated, eliminated from you and your baby girl. Find away to make him feel like he is apart of your family.
People who say this is normal are just accepting inappropriate behaviors in their own lives. It’s not normal and unfortunately a lot of parents would rather pretend everything is ok than try to correct the behavior. Idk if he needs to get more energy out or if he is acting out. Possible jealousy of younger brother? Something is off though and if his parents, especially Dad is not willing to fix it, you may need to walk away from this.
Edit: younger sister.
Why you ignoring him? Hes annoying you because he is desperate for attention… everything he thinks falls out his mouth because he feels like he can talk to you obviously about anything 
stop rolling your eyes and cringing look at his world thru his eyes not yours
First, I would say give him some love and attention, one on one time to make him feel secure in the family. Have you considered putting him in sports, or school clubs, youth groups to give him a chance to be out making friends, learning skills, etc?
If both the parents are useless and when you bring up your view on him and his behaviour to his parent and they don’t act or validate your opinion you should just leave. If the parents don’t wanna help him then no one can. I’d leave.
Seriously get urself a copy of ‘Surviving your Adolescents’ quick as shit. Bet u can find a free audio copy somewhere.
My daughter is really hyperactive. We keep her in line. Sounds like he needs activities to keep his brain busy. Don’t give up on him.
a nice little dose of karma and reality is when this step mothers daughter turns 11 and acts the same way, children are not statues and stop having the attitude that he should be seen and not heard. if i was your husband and that was my kid I would tell you right where to go!! ADHD , thats absurd for just acting like a typical child.
He is bored … get him into some activites and make a conscious choice to not be bothered by his actions. He is a kid and at this age, it is common for this. Let him figure it out. He will grow out of it. Keep him busy
Best wishes
Being mean to a 1.5 yr old IS a problem. No that behaviour is NOT typical. He sounds more five than eleven.
You could try some adhd workbooks and do some activities with him also my son was like this and counseling helped tremendously
Give him as much love as you possibly can. My 12 year old acts out like this when she doesn’t get enough affection. They will ask for it in the most annoying ways. As soon as I give her a real good snuggle she stops looking for the bad attention. She wants to behave herself when I’m giving her what she needs. Relationship closeness makes the difference.
He’s likely feeling left out with a new child in the family.
He’s an 11 year old boy. My 8 year old doesn’t sit still and is always making annoying noises and he’s not adhd if he was he wouldn’t have As and Bs in school and be one of his teachers favorites… he’s just annoying you because he can and knows it annoys you
No offence the statement you make look out for my daughter when his around already indicated neglect towards him. To have him professionally check won’t harm and it will clear things .Adhd evaluation will be to his benefit to help him and to handle the situation better when he act like that . Trust the matter get sorted soon.
lol boys are wild and your daughter will treat him the way she sees you treat him and yes boys are wild and crazy and cant sit still he may have something but then again if you have nothing to do with him he will do things to make you mad heck every kid will. I would recommend you do some yoga and maybe get him into a sport or go get him something he likes so he has something to do bc heck if a child is bored they will get into trouble that is all kids
Sounds a lot like ADHD to me, but mothers here are not experts. So, need to get him evaluated. Other than behavior how is he doing in school? How is his attention span, focus , school performance? ADHD can be of different types, these kids tend to be fidgety, but again a lot of kids are fidgety. Only an expert evaluation can tell you for sure. I have a gifted child with ADHD. I understand his gifted ness but at the same time well aware of his disability. It’s important to address it early on. Diagnosis is a good start,then accepting the child and then provide the support. Sometimes it’s hard to differentiate whether this is a typical teenage behavior or specific to ADHD. Therapy helps. Medication too, need a holistic approach. Don’t give up on any child , doesn’t matter it is yours or someone else’s child.
Regarding the toddler-
Annoyance is having siblings. She will adjust if this family is something you all are willing to commit to. She’ll grow up and verbalize her needs and he’ll grow up and be less and less of the 11 year old, jittery boy.
Safety is a bigger concern, but not so much different than if she was an only child. You will teach this boy how to be a good brother, a good father someday, and I know you wouldn’t leave her unattended with him. You also wouldn’t leave her alone if it was just her.
It sounds like extra teaching and parenting for you, which is exhausting- but again, we don’t get to choose the temperament of our children and you cannot always get what you want from meds. They may work. They may make him angry. Every kid is different.
Take your daughter and have your own days and adventures and leave dad and his son to bond and have their time. Or encourage dad to have his visitation elsewhere
He wants attention. You married his dad be a woman and accept the child that comes with him. Try playing with him and including him especially with the baby so they learn to het along and play better. Teach him how to play appropriately with her so you won’t have to watch him so closely around the other child.
If he’s driving you that crazy you don’t have no business being with his dad. I know I cuss men out in a heartbeat just for looking at mine the wrong way
I completely understand how you’re feeling as I have a cousin who is like this. I don’t like being around him or him around my kids when he is not medicated because he’s seriously off the walls doesn’t stop and teaches my kids naughty stuff he has adhd when he’s on his medication tho he’s a complete different kid absolutely loving and so sweet
Maybe give him some attention try being kind don’t be some evil witch . My son was like this for a long time almost 13 and he’s outgrown it the past few years. But I noticed when he did it most was when his brother was getting most of the attention. Think outside the box and really focus on him and what he may like or need. Medication isn’t the answer. I promise we did that and we took him off. Kids mature differently.
That seems to be ADHD, 11 years old might be a kid, but they still need to listen regardless of him just being a child. He knows exactly what he’s doing. It’s not like he is a toddler. He shouldn’t be acting like that at 11 years old. A child doesn’t need to act out and say as long as i give them what they want then he’s good… NO… That’s the problem, with kids acting out and getting what they want. The father should be handling this situation and having a talk with him. This behavior wouldn’t be acceptable if this was my child. Unless the child has ADHD, which if the child does then he should see a doctor. It’s not right for an 11 year old boy to get up in a toddler’s face. That has nothing to do with him not getting attention. If it’s not ADHD, then it’s simply bad behavior.
I have a son that has ADHD. We taught him to self control. He was just as bad. We stop giving him pills since 8 years old. My nephew was on pill for the same thing. His kidney fill up with water. That why we stop. I started looking into other options. Try a cup of coffee with some cream. He doesnt taste the bitterness. Some chocolate will do the work. Put it this way. The way coffee does with normal people and wake them up, is the opposite for people that ADHD. Dont blame anyone, not the mother. I use to blame his dad, but I learn it life and it going to be tough on him and you. Stay strong.
Sounds like the mother, father, you and child needs family concealing. I raised 3 sons and all three were different. The children are most important!!! That being said, all if you need to work together for the young, yes boy for his and your toddler best interest. This young boy is begging for attention and will do whatever he needs to to get that attention. I am not a doctor and if other people on her that are not doctors or professionals in this field of ADHD they shold not be advising. The young boy is not only asking for attention, he is looking for help. As adults it is ALL of your responsibilities to help and give this young teen the attention he deserves. He did not ask for a broken family. He did not ask for a new mother with their interest of well being is only on their own child. If this is a issue. Leave and move on. This is not the young mans fault to deal with. Putting a child in the “ADHD” group is not the answer. Learn and accept parenting skills as a step parent for the childs sake. Not yours or their mother or father. This is just my thoughts. Take it how you like. Take it or leave it. Good luck! Praying for this child!!!
Uhm maybe he just wants your attention and some love instead of moaning and giving him your negativity and from what I read in your post it doesn’t sound like you have much time for him. Maybe re-look at your relationship if you can’t handle your partners child
Darling wAit for another 10 years and your girl too will make you crazy.
I must say kids are born to drive you crazy.
Even we have troubled our parents when we were KIDS.
Thats why probably have different definition for the ADULT.
Try to be in his shoes try to find out the reason behing him making you crazy.
Just imagine his situation where his own mother is not by his side.
May be you are failing to give him that comfortable and space.
Plz its a kind request ek bar us bache ki jagah pe apne app ko rakho then write again to us.
I m not judging you but just imagine his situation in this tender age where he might be craving for his parents love but his expectations are going in vain.
secondly if you think he has ADHD then let me tell you woh bohot badi problem ni hai.
Dont talk to his father about this take the child directly to the therapist and try to solve the issue.
God bless your both the kids.
It definitely sounds like ADHD and possibly ODD but if neither legal guardian wants to look into not much you can do.
He needs u to spend time doing activities with him and ur daughter. They are ur family, they are ur children. U can’t expect to ignore an 11 year old and have him just go off his own and sit and be lonely, while u pay alone attention to ur daughter. How one-sided and unfair. Of course he’s doing these things, he’s desperately trying to get ur attention! My God. Please read some pareting books, get some counseling. And start being a proper parent to both of ur children. U need to develop a relationship with ur (step)son and also encourage a relationship between ur (step)son and ur daughter.
He’s only acting like that because he sees you & your daughter as a replacement for his mom. It’s jealousy, he’s doing it for attention. I had the same problem when I was with my ex his son would do the same thing. Everything & anything to get under my skin. It didn’t work out in his favor, because he eventually gave up because he knew I wasn’t going nowhere. I’m happy to say I’m no longer with his dad. I wasted precious time with him
I have an active daughter, I won’t medicate her. I find some extra attention and love goes a long way. Don’t get me wrong I’m strict, but loving.
Sit the young man down and calmly ask him why he is acting out. Maybe he needs a shoulder to cry on. Reach out to the guidance counselors and teachers at school. Does this behavior occur at school? Cut red dye 40 out of diet. Research its effects. You are step mom, you are limited on what you can do. Mom and dad need to step up. I have a 4 year old granddaughter who we think is ADHD. We are going through testing for that and possible Autism. We started now because we want the best possible life for her. We want to learn the best strategy for dealing with it at home before it becomes the norm for her.
Too many parents take the easy way out and choose medication… If its not affecting him at school with his grades then just deal with it with love and understanding… My son is 10 almost 11 and drives me crazy sometimes but talking to him and teaching him to control his mind seems to help, they arent dumb even tho they act like it sometimes… Every child is different I say work with him hard! Even if it takes a year or 2… See what his primary doctor says also
First I want to remind you to be patient. These actions are his way of communicating or acting out. There could be some underlying emotional things there. Or he could just be in a phase of pushing boundaries.
I would suggest they talk to a doctor about this. It could be ADHD or Anxiety, both present the similar symptoms. People are so quick to say ADHD when it comes to children, so you do need to see a psychiatrist.
Sounds exactly like my 7 year old son. He hasn’t been diagnosed with anything as none of the teachers etc agree with me. It’s the way he is, deal with it
Sounds like an 11 yo boy from a divorced home with a stepmom. I don’t know why adults think children should act like adults. Play with him! Love him! And get him in an activity or two so he’s out s couple times a week socializing.
Hmmmm, this is difficult to give any thoughts on as we have never seen the kid ourselves. Maybe the kid really does have adhd, or possibly your tolerance level for this child could be low. We really don’t know.
Sounds like he just wants more attention to me. But if mom and dad do not want to have him tested or anything there is nothing you can do about it.
Kids will resent siblings and pick on them if they feel they’re treated better than they are. It shows.
It doesn’t stop. We have a 15 year old boy who does the same thing. Constantly has to be making noise, even does these weird little dances, pretends to feel faint,…it’s obvious he is looking for attention or a reaction. We have a ten year old girl who makes a production out of walking through the living room when we are winding down after dinner too. I KNOW they get plenty of attention and won’t feed into the way over exaggerated “look at me” performances. If you must make noise go somewhere else or knock it off if you want to stay in the room. And avert your eyes for the Broadway dancing. They will get the hint. They can’t be center of attention 24/7
Why u want a kid to sit still? Give him something to do. Or give him attention because he is your son too.
Sounds like he wants more attention/affection to me. He possibly feels the need to compete with the other child or you for his father’s attention.
My son was on meds for a year but got to skinny we stopped .he worked hard and we changed his diet .learned self control and we got him behavioralist who helped him at school .some come to the home or you go to their office.