Just venting, I’m about to lose it y’all. I understand child development, and I’m super patient. But I’ve had enough. My almost-four-year-old step son tortures and terrorizes my children (close in age) nonstop, especially my baby daughter. He’s usually here a couple of days a week and then each weekend. My husband gets furious if I say anything. He pinches, hits, bites, kicks them, bosses them around, takes things from them, follows them around whispering threats to them. He’ll follow them sneakily into another room and start beating them if my husband and I turn our back for one sec. Just a moment ago, my baby daughter was just standing there watching tv, and he snuck up while I was cooking, grabbed her, and dug his fingers into her palms and punched her in the head! He didn’t know I saw it, and I came running and grabbed her and kept her in the kitchen so he couldn’t go after her again. I’m not allowed to discipline him at all, and he knows it, and they’re terrified of him. He constantly attacks my husband, his mother, and I’ve caught him torturing our neighbor’s cats behind our playhouse. We’ve got a baby coming soon, and I’m going to be too scared to even put the baby down because I know this child, will hurt him. I’ve told my husband, very gently and respectfully, that this child needs to see a psychologist or therapist or something, and he gets mad and says that he’s just got a “rough” personality. Has anybody been through this? I’m exhausted. My stepdaughter is really sweet and doesn’t seem to have any behavior problems.
He needs help!!! Something has HAPPENED to him. Your children are not safe
Get that child help! Something has happened for this child to be like that…When baby gets here ,it will get worse!
Oh my gosh…I am so sorry this is happening. I would be terrified.
I wouldn’t put up with it and if at all possible I’d leave with my kids when he is there.
Set up a trail cam in the house show your hubby what’s going on
If you’re helping raise them, you should have the ability to discipline. Its not good for a child or fair to you for him to go without discipline.
If he isn’t going to listen to your concerns and the abuse your children are under, pack some bags and leave for awhile. He will either open his eyes and see that things need to change or keep living with his head in the sand.
To protect your own kids, if the dad isn’t willing to step in and discipline (or even allow you to?) I’d leave when that child is there. I could not tolerate that at all.
I’d be telling him to get him help or to take him and leave.
That boy needs help before it gets worse! He is still a young child, but this behavior needs to stop. The dad and mom need to do something ASAP. He sounds like he needs psychological help immediately.
If talking to your husband nicely doesn’t work. You need to decide if being with him is the right thing. Maybe it’s time you take a break from one another and re evaluate your situation. That’s abusive behavior and completely unacceptable. It may be time to give your husband an ultimatum. If he doesn’t allow you to discipline its time for you to step up and protect your children. As hard of a situation as it is… action needs to be taken. Period. I would not tolerate this kind of behavior and neither should you.
That child needs some help. Maybe counseling, but if he is basically trying to force u into a situation that endangers your other children I would leave ASAP
That is not just a rough personality… and that child needs punishment. Both parents are just allowing it to happen
Screw that, I’d start disciplining that child. He does need help and a lot of it.
I personally would leave until he gets help
Fuck that I’m whoopin ass! His dad better get it together or be ready for this divorce! I’m not lettin any child make mine feel terrified in their home and I’m not walking around my house afraid that you will harm my child…
I would not be present during times he is there. My kids & I would be out the door, and if it continued, Id be looking at divorce with supervised visits for the safety of my children.
Decipline him!! If not then I would not allow him to be around your kids! They don’t sound safe and eventually someone’s going to notice the marks on them from him and notify cps
I would honestly tell him that if you can’t discipline an if your husband doesn’t start to, then they both need to leave. No reason to allow a child to hurt another one. Or you leave, you can loose your kids if teacher or even neighbors are concerned. Remember you are your children’s voice an safe place do.
Yeah no you just need to leave, your kids are in danger and if your man isn’t willing to stand up for them than you shouldn’t stay because what else will he let happen to them?
Install hidden cameras. Harsh but then you can really see what’s happening behind y’alls backs. Then contact a therapist.
Leave its not healthey for your kids at all they will wonder why you didnt protect them! If dad dont give a shit leave kids come first!
Im just saying I’d punish him. Its your house too. It takes a village that boy needs some tough love. Therapy And good old fashioned spanking.
Whenever your husband has his son, let them stay somewhere else. You need to keep your kids safe, end of story.
Honestly. I’d be calling child services for the simple fact his mental health is neglected.
You need to protect your kids. The kid needs help. If his parents arent willing to be parents, you either step up and do it or punish him or leave with your children. I’d set up cameras to document it.
I’d be leaving with my children if he wasn’t prepared to address or acknowledge the behaviour and actions. I worded that real polite, but I’d be blowing my lid if any child mine or not, was hurting another of my kids.
If he won’t let you parent the child your relationship is doomed already
Get your kids and get them out
Their safety is the most important thing
Tell your husband flat out he either addresses this issue with the mother and include you or you’re calling child services this child is violent and it escalates I’m only saying this because my cousin just went through this and her stepson almost killed her daughter
Oh no hubby needs to step up I’d be stepping out.
Sounds like a divorce is going to save your kids. I almost married someone who’s kids were mentally unstable. Sorry sounds cruel but I’m not about to allow my child to suffer for that sake of my relationship with some guy.
He needs discipline and some mental health help! I wouldn’t allow him in my house
A rough personality 
wow that is not right of him to say that and you not allowed to correct him what is wrong with him
Hurting animals is one of the first signs of being a sociopath, usually starting as a child. I would be concerned for my child’s sake, concerned enough to stay somewhere else until you have a safe plan in action.
What is wrong with you? I’d have been out the door. I don’t care how much I love my husband, my kids safety come first. Get tf out and don’t go back.
Protect YOUR kids. If that means leave, leave. I’ll be damned if I let it continue.
How can you guys parent together if you cant even punish your step kid?? This kid has discipline issue, he gonna keep doing it till all parents on the same page in discipline.
He definitely needs to see a therapist ! Don’t wait ! Insist upon this ! And you and your husband may benefit from doing the same . If hubby won’t go , you go alone . This is definitely abnormal behavior and will only intensify if ignored as the child ages .
One, i wouldn’t give af what anyone says YOU ARE A PARENT FIGURE IN HIS LIFT, DISCIPLINE HIM. Time out, and time doesnt start until his nose is in the corner and hes silent. Time restarts anytime he moves or says anything. He can stay there alll day if he doesnt want to abide by the rules. Also, talk to your husband that cat thing is a bad sign. Get him counseling alone, without you dad and mom. So he will be more open and honest. And do it NOW your going to have an newborn in the house and that baby wont be safe.
Discipline him! That NOT a rough personality, that is knowingly doing wrong.
If your husband doesn’t like it tell him he can buck the f*ck up and be a dad and discipline his child for bad behavior or you’re GONE. Along with the new baby.
You and your kids don’t deserve to be terrorized by a child.
Keep him away from your kids. Tell his dad that you will discipline his son if he doesn’t. And doing stuff to cats the kid is going to end up killing some one.
He is 4 and is still learning but I would be damned if the father doesn’t allow you to correct the behavior. Because as long as he allows it, doesn’t correct it, or doesn’t allow you to say something then it’ll continue and it’ll get worse.
I’m sorry to say this but that kid might be the straw that breaks you, your children come first and if he’s not willing to do something to change his behaviour before the baby comes you might have to.
4 years old and already hurting animals and other smaller children are serious RED FLAGS. He definitely needs to see a psychologist or something.
If you and your husband are going to be together then you both need to be a Team… He should be able to disiplain your kids and you his without the other interfering. If you both can’t agree to this then your blended family won’t work.
I would refuse to keep him if you could not discipline. They need to get him some quick help soon.
Your children come first always. If they are being hurt and you’re worried about him hurting you’re new baby and talking hasn’t worked then you need to leave. It’s your job to keep your children safe. The dad will either step up or step out.
Wow. No, that child needs help. Your husband need to be made aware and stop being blinded by that reality. It’s hard to see fault in your children, but this is a big issue.
I have a son, he was never like that. I’ve nannied for five families… which amounts to 7 boys I’ve watched grow up.
NONE of them act this way. There are reasons he acts out, reasons he doesn’t even understand yet. But he needs help.
In addition, if you’re a caregiver for this child and he is in your home while his other parents are not, there is NO reason why you shouldn’t be able to discipline him. That’s another fault on your husband. That’s allowing your step-son to be separated and not fairly treated in your home. That’s not ok. You should raise and treat them all the same.
I’ve always had permission to discipline children I nannied for, this is your own stepchild!
I have stepparents, so does my son. Discipline him.
What! “Rough personality”?!
No. Not even close. This child needs serious help.
In the end you have to protect your kiddos any means necessary .if hubby won’t get him help sad to say but I’d be out or put him out …
If his dad and mom couldn’t get him under control he wouldn’t be allowed around my children at all! Him and his dad would have to stay somewhere else cause I wouldn’t put my children in danger. Plus I don’t watch any children I can’t discipline.
If a child is essentially a terrorist and I am not allowed to discipline them they can’t stay with me… And I mean ANYONE’S kids… People are fully aware of their children’s behavior… If you are not allowed to correct bad behavior in any manor, he needs to be home and manage his kid with his eyes on him at all times…
You need to be able to discipline him too. He wont respect you until you have the respect from his father to manage his behaviours. Its a nornal part of parenting…step or not.
Sounds like the problem starts with your husband and if you dont put your foot down now things will only get way worse!
If you think he’s hurting YouR KIDS THEN STOP HISASS. I BELIEVE THAT IF SOMEONE.HURTS MYNKIDA I HURT THEM BACK TO TO.HIS MOTHERANDASK.WHAT.IS GOING ON WITH HIM HAVE PROOF OF HIS BITEA AND AUCH
I would tell my husband if you can’t discipline him either he watches him or he don’t can’t come
I’d start whooping that ass or he wouldn’t be allowed to come over anymore.
He needs an old fashioned butt spanking!! And so does his dad!
U need to protect ur babies hun!!! That’s not right especially cruelty on cats is a bad sign right there… I know some siblings can fight tease eachother be jealous of the toys or what not but that’s not right hes goin beyond play and jealousy hes trying to hurt them he learned it from somewhere or it’s a cry for help u should leave if ur hubby wont listen to ur concerns and safety of ur children!!! Not safe for new babe to come around that and why aren’t u allowed to discipline this disgusting behavior? He cant see u as someone he can get away with things ur a second mother to him u need to discipline this behavior it will get worse! U have every right to discipline ur creating a fam with his father
Have that talk with your husband and his ex wife about discipline. Most women would put their kids safety above their spouse. Take the kids and go see your parents or relatives for a while. Your step son is very mentally ill and needs a lot of therapy. You can also do a legal trial separation.
Little shit needs his ass warmed. He gets away with it that’s why he does it . If he gets punished he will stop the behavior.
Not allowed ?? Are you f#&kin serious? Hell no .
Show him these comments. His son needs to talk with someone and get to the bottom of the issue to HELP him. Not to put the child down, make him feel different or anything like that. But for his own health. If you let him continue, it will only get worse and they wont tolerate this at school. Also, start time out when he does this. If your husband doesnt let you be a step mother, then the child WILL take advantage and it seems he already does. Dont spank, that reinforces hitting. Be calm, be loving, dont let him pull out the worst in you because thats what children like to see happen because it just reinforces their actions are right. Maybe include some extra snuggle time and do special things with him. He may be feeling divided from your family.
No way would he be there if I couldn’t discipline him! Girl, you and your husband need to have a serious talk! Honestly, it sounds like he needs help, and your husband doesn’t see it. Why is this kid more special than the others? Why is their safety not important to him? Please keep your kids and this new baby away from him! Can you talk to his mom?
If he puts ha hands on your child you have every right to discipline him.
I highly recommend camera in your home that record. I’m sure you try to address it with dad but in all honesty I would put my foot down and give an ultimatum if my kids were being physically abused by a sibling. If you have cameras atleast there would be proof for dad to WATCH with his own eyes… how can he justify it at that point. If nothing is addressed, sadly, I would take my children and leave.
It’s your responsibility to keep your kids safe. You are failing. You need to get away from that guy if he doesn’t allow you to punish that kid and doesn’t care if he’s hurting other kids.
Tell your DH to take him to a hotel for visitation. And be dam serious about it.
Hell no. He would not be in my house if I cant discipline abusive behavior. Screw that. And the man can go too if he is the one who says I cant.
He is acting out he is mad about something deep down. You need to give husband an ultimatum. The kid needs help desperately. Get him help now, or suffer the consequences as he gets older and stronger and can do even more damage.
Um your husband definitely needs to do something about this. When it comes to the safety of all the children you cant just ignore it. He may need some therapy. None of that is okay.
Yep. Either you (husband) watch your child or he (stepson) will not be coming.
I would leave once the baby is born. Sounds like a serial killer in the making
Your husband is turning his back on a real problem. It’s bad enough he’s hurting your children but when he’s going after animals too, something is very wrong. Dad needs to step up and get him some help before he really hurts someone. And why aren’t you allowed to discipline him?
He needs some outside evaluation and help…
If your children are getting hurt, it is YOUR responsibility to get them out if that situation. I would personally say f you to my husband and spank him. I’m not letting anyone hurt my kids. Step child or not…
I agree with showing your husband this post and let him read each one but I would get your step son therapy as something is bothering him and if they can solve it you will benefit a beautiful family 
Your husband is 100% wrong. You have every right to discipline his child because it’s your child to. You don’t get with people that have children if you’re not prepared to take on that child as if it’s your own or allow the other person to take on that child as if it’s their own. I get not being able to spank him, but you definitely should be able to put him in timeout. If your husband doesn’t take these issues seriously, then you need to rethink your relationship. Your children deserve better.
Your children should feel safe in their own home. If your husband won’t take up for your kids, then you need to. I’d put him out if he can’t be a father and discipline his own child. It’s too late when a small shove gives your children a brain injury.
Is your relationship with your husband really more important than your kids safety?
Leave because that kid shouldn’t be allowed to harm your children think about your kids I would never allow this to happen what a nightmare for them screw staying with someone who obviously couldn’t care less about you or your kids
You need to protect all your children and if your husband doesn’t agree then it’s something you’ll have to do alone. Take your kids and leave until he gets his son the help he needs because it’s an unsafe environment for the others.
If you can’t discipline him then he can’t be left with you and your kids. Put your foot down. ((Also remember he’s still very little and obviously needs some help. It’s not his fault. It’s his parents job to care for their child in how he needs. )) If your child hit his would it be ok?? I’d let your husband know you want to support him but he needs to support you as well or shits guna hit the fan.
Listen … when you two got married you became one unit. Discipline is a very IMPORTANT stage in raising kids… RESPECT is key… I understand that he might be struggling with all that has taken place in his life and I think he should goto counseling because he is showing he can’t deal with his emotions… I think it would be best to include you both in on sessions or separate as a couple because if you and husband are not on same page will make it hard for your son to understand and will manipulate the situation … Remember to be a GOOD parents means creating boundaries and if you have to do it alone at first then so be it but do get help… You do not want to wait till he is all grown up and you don’t want to wait till something awful happens that can’t be cured
What’s going to happen when he starts school?
It will be so guy wrenching if one of your children end up dead and then everyone will be screaming “Oh poor stepson, someone should’ve helped him…”
Please put your kids first. He is not your child. You should do what is best for them. They are innocent and didn’t ask to be brought into the family where an abusive child is present and hurting them.
You will grow super resentful of this child really fast… Your kids will hate him… None of this will be good.
Do not let him hurt your kids! Put your foot down with your husband. Video what he does without the child seeing u do so. I’m sorry but I would put his little butt in time out & if that didn’t work I’d spank him. If your husband doesn’t like it he can hit the road.
It sounds like he may need counseling, sounds like psychotic behavior not normal child’s play. I’d have a serious conversation with his dad about seeking help for him. Depending on his response I might have to consider exot options.
You’re a grown woman. What do you mean you’re “not allowed” to discipline him? Your children’s well-being is at stake. If the hubby gets his panties in a wad over it, then so be it. You’re a mother. Sometimes we have to do hard things. No one is doing that kid any favors by allowing him to feel above the law in your home. There’s a warm time out chair somewhere in your house and a trash can for the privileges he loses. Use them.
Girl discipline him… and if the mother has a problem she can keep him at home… problem solved. It’s YALLS home and YALLS children If they don’t want him to be disciplined then he can stay home simple. He will behave or not come. But what he will not do is abuse my children (or his sister, or any other kids) and get away with it. This is how bullying is encouraged.
Get a divorce or call DHS or police record for proof
I would tell husband that you have a duty to protect your kids. If he cant stop his son from.hurting you kids perhaps you shouldn’t live with him…I mean if his son has some sort of VIP status in his eyes and the others have to put up with the abuse there is a big problem here… and hurting the cat is a sign of a psychopath and do you really want to subject your kids to that for the rest of their lives…how much do you love your husband and does he love you as much
He’s 3. Punishments and several kinds of discipline will be over his head developmentally anyway, but he should definitely be in some form of counseling for those behaviors and you should be allowed to help find out what’s causing them.
Your husband just needs to interact with him then at another location
Your husbands a Asshole.maybe he should be pinched and hit see how he likes it.Theres no way in hell id let a mans children hurt mine.husband or not
This kids is a psychopath. I would have seriously drop kicked that kid if he did any of that shit to my kids and put a foot up my husbands ass if told me shit about how his child needs help. Get the fuck outttttt!
I’d kick him out! I’m not gonna put up with that bullshit. You are allowing this man to make you sit by while your children are being harmed… do you realize that? I’m not trying to be mean but for real. Think about it. Not healthy!
Girl if u dont 4get a handle on that kid now…one of yr kids is gonna end up in the hospital…and an "I told u so " just might be to late by then.
Would you allow a stranger on the street to treat your children or yourself that way? My guess is no!
I will not have a child in my home I can’t discipline, and I won’t start now, I don’t mean physical either. You’re here to protect your children, you do it, and your husband should protect them as well.
I dont think I would feel comfortable having a small child in my house half the time that I cant discipline… there is something serious going o here