Talk to your husband asap make him do something or leave/make him leave!
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Your kids have a right to feel safe! Animals being hurt is a HUGE red flag. Your husband needs to recognize that his child needs counseling immediately. If he doesn’t see this and yout can’t discipline then things are only going to get worse. I’d put up hidden cameras to show your husband what’s happening. If you can’t get through to your husband to get his son help then unfortunately you may have to ask him to leave until he does. Its not fair to the other children and his son needs help so he can have a chance at a happy life.
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That is NOT normal. Not at all… If you see himdo something go off. If you saw a child do that to your kid at the park you wouldn’t just stand there. Your children depend on your voice. Don’t wait until it’s too late.
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psycho in the oven…do that kid a favor and send him to therapy before he begins killing animals and later raper or murderer.
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Yeah rough personality, that will turn into a psychopath if not fixed…I wouldnt care that kids ass would be beat. If my kids getting hurt fuck that. 4 or not that butt will be in trouble big time.
I’m going through a CPS case right now. I can tell you this. If your child ever goes to school with a bruised cheek. Eye or anything that school will question them. If they think they are in a violent environment you can Lose your kids. Kids don’t have a voice your their voice your their protector. But once those kids go to school believe me those teachers and school will have a sit down. Once CPS is involved and you new your kids were getting beat your going to get penalized. Think about that for a second
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When the stepson comes over his Dad should be the person to exclusively take care of him. You have your hands full with the other children fair trade
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If he’s in your house, you have every right to discipline him.
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I would beat his ass!!!
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There is a such of thing Natural Born killer look out protect your kids life period
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Talk to your doctor and pediatrician about this. He can test and give you suggestions . They see this alot,in divorces and in children with autism or other issues. Everyone will be better with professional help, even family counselling.He may not know where he fits into the new family. Try not to explode. Your husband wants to defend him but doesn’t know how. You have to protect yours and YOU! If husband won’t go for counsalling, you go, as soon as possible, before your new baby comes. Good luck. Police departments may even have someone who can talk to him & change his direction. It’ rare that kids Want to be bad!
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Buh bye to your husband! You are all your kids have… PROTECT THEM
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Oh hell naw. I had issues with my ex stepkids. And i treated them like my own. My ex didnt like it neither did the kids but after awhile when they would come over they respected me. I didnt care if my ex said something. My house my rules!!!
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Sounds like he well be a danger for the baby.
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This is sadistic behaviour. And torturing animals and small children is an actual trait of a psychopath!! U got urself a mini michael myers over there! Run as fast and as far as u can.
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That kid needs a program
Don’t let that continue
Sounds like your husband might be in denial and doesn’t know how to discipline the son. Get your son help before he really hurts his siblings or does something tragic! Abusing animals is a huge red flag too!!
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Definitely seek therapy ASAP. The husband is at fault. If he allows it and doesn’t discipline…your stepson will never change.
If I was in your shoes I wouldnt let any of that shit slide and if he didnt want to respect my house rules then he would loose his privileges to be under my roof. Stepchild or not, if anyone poses a threat to your child he shouldnt be allowed around them. He obviously needs serious help.
“This child” needs you more than you’ll ever know. Keep going and keep advocating for answers. Try to understand that children don’t want to be bad, there is an underlying issue. You need to be more firm with your husband and more soft with your step son while remaining in control. Is it an option for you and your husband to speak to his Mom together?
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No excuses, parent your children!
Be consistent, give time outs according to their age so if they are 5 it’s 5 minutes, if they are 8 it’s 8 minutes etc…and talk to the child about their behaviour after the time out is done. It works every time!! I always use a timer on my microwave.
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Seek help… your children need you to protect them despite how your husband feels! This sounds awful scary especially if left alone and not dealt with professionally!!!
First, you have to ask yourself if you would put up with this from any other child? Would you allow a friend’s child…a nephew…a niece to abuse your children? I wouldn’t. Therefore, I wouldn’t let a stepchild either. If his bio parents feel you cannot discipline him then he does not need to be left in your care. I have five stepbabies. It’s simple, I talked to everyone in the beginning and stated that if I couldn’t be trusted to discipline then I cannot be trusted to take care of them. Everyone agreed. It’s the same rules I have always had for my nieces, nephews, cousins, friends, etc. Why would it be different for a stepchild? I love my stepbabies. I treat them same as my bio babies. They all have the same rules and face the same consequences of they disregard those rules. None of them will be treated as if one is more important than the others. That’s wrong. I would feel awful if my stepbabies thought I treated them differently just because I didn’t birth them. I love them ,with all of my heart. I care about them and I care about the people they’ll become. I personally feel that if your husband allows this than he is doing damage and his neglect towards the situation is equal to abuse. I would talk firmly with him about it. If it cannot be worked out, you and your bio kids may need to live elsewhere. If you don’t want to do that, you could always do an anonymous call to DCS regarding his harmful behavior.
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I’m telling you now, I’ve been through this. Leave now. It will not change.
He isnt your child so unless the parents say you can, you should know your place. With that being said that doesn’t mean you should stand by and watch your babies get tortured…I’d make my husband understand the severity and if he doesn’t do anything take your kids and leave when the kid comes until he gets it…
You need to make your husband step up and put a stop to this behavior, that kid needs help his violence will only get worse. When the kids is due for a visit maybe you should take your kids to visit Grandma until your husband puts a stop to the violence from his son.
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Stand up for your family momma. your boy needs help and hubby needs to accept that. Can you make an appointment with his dr and take hubby with you?
He needs helo. The kid learned that from somewhere , maybe hes abused at his moms house and needs help . Poor kid
Nick Lundgren it could always be worse
Not…allowed? Wtf? You discipline that boy for the sake of your kids. I would or the husband can leave with his kid and expect divorce papers.
If there any way you could talk to his mom and let her know politely that the kids really needs help
As I see it, your HUSBAND is a huge part of his son’s problems & behavior! No child should be that arrogant, ignorant nor abusive at that age… There is clearly something wrong with the child & child psychology is a start especially if he is harming animals also… your HUSBAND should account for his son’s actions if you are not allowed to correct this child in any way… sounds to me like your husband is defending his son from another woman but yet your children are suffering 
due to it. It is about your children’s safety first against anyone even if it is only another child… tell your HUSBAND to stay at home and mind his own child and you will stay elsewhere with your children until the other child leaves… Sorry but not sorry, husband do not come first, CHILDREN DO !!! period
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Video record him so your husband can see his behavior. Maybe then he will see what a problem this is causing u & your children. And I would also tell your husband that if u arent allowed to discipline him in anyway then u wont be left alone to watch him. The more he gets away with and the more he sees no one is stopping him from acting this way, the worse he will get. Wouldnt your husband rather correct his bad behavior now while hes little instead of having to take drastic measures when hes older and displays this type of behavior. Kids like that grow up to be troubled adults who end up in jail or juvenile or in some kinda psychiatric care facility. And if your husband still doesnt do anything about his behavior, I think id be seriously considering packing my bags and taking my children somewhere they dont fear being bullied.
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Is your husband not believing that your step-son is being abusive or does he just not care cause I feel like how you handle things would vary greatly depending on how and why he reacts as such. As for discipline, is your husband present at all times or are you being left alone with your stepson? If he’s not present and expecting you to care for the family then you should be discipline the same as you would all children, especially since it sounds like you have primary custody of the child (all weekends and many week days). Perhaps start with asking your husband what he would like you to do- it’s easy to say “don’t disciple” but obviously something does need to be done and asking him to verbalize what you should do vs what you can’t do puts some responsibility on your husband.
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I’m sorry to be so blunt but Fuck that!! That is not normal behavior. That is not a kid being rough. That is psychological problems that will grow with him if not dealt with. I would be scared to sleep with him around. What if he grabs a knife and goes after one of my children. I’ve read a story where a little kid tried to smother a newborn with a pillow while the parents were sleeping. I would recorded everything on a camera. Make your husband sit down and watch it. Maybe seeing that will open his eyes. I would call child services on myself with him and describe the behavior of your husband won’t get on board. Leave and protect your kids but make sure it’s on file that you don’t trust your children alone with your husband and his son without you because what if something happened when he had him and your husband doesn’t see a problem
Yes this reminds me of my now 10 year old son. I’ve took every Avenue since he was 2 years old to try and get him some help and for years I was told by professionals that hes fine just a boy being a boy but I knew that wasn’t right. Finally got the help we thought he needed and he got diagnosed with autism at 4 and adhd and disruptive mood disorder and oppositional Defiance disorder at almost age 7. It sounds like your step son definitely has some issues but how to fix them I have no idea because I’ve been through every kind of agency and reached out and recieved every kind of help and therapy and even meds and have had to admit my son 6 times to inpatient children’s psychiatric hospitals since he was 7 years old. It doesnt get any better with age. It’s not something he will grow out of. The biggest issue has ALWAYS BEEN THE ABUSIVE VIOLENT BEHAVIOR TOWARDS HIS SIBLINGS AND PARENTS. We work with multiple people to try and get his behaviors u der control but it always seems like we take some steps forward and then something will happen to set him back again, sometimes worse than ever to the point he absolutely too dangerous to keep in the home with my other young children and I’m forced to make the decision to send him for inpatient treatment because as a mother I have to protect ALL of my children including him even if that means removing him to try and get him on meds that allow us to be able to get through to him. It’s very rough when you have a child like that. But the main thing you need to make sure his father understands is that one behavior you all can absolutely NOT TOLERATE is him hurting the other children. He needs help and before he gets older. If your husband really wont get his son help then I would try getting some info and research up in his face and seeking professional help in the form of CPS if he wont do anything to help his son and continues to allow his 4 year old child to harm the other kids in the house to this extreme. It’s not ok and it will only get worse. Call cps anonymously and make the report you just told us and then he will be forced to get the kid help. That would be an absolute LAST RESORT but if leaving isnt an option and he wont do anything then as a mother it is your duty to protect all your kids, step kids too and the innocent babies cant help themselves and I can also guarantee you that the 4 year old isn’t any happier living like that anyone else
First. Let me say I am so sorry you are going through this.
Second, as a mother of 5. Never!!! Just never would I allow a child on a normal basis in my home that was going to hurt any of my children.
I understand the delicacy of the situation. But don’t think your husband gets the seriousness of it.
I’m sure admitting your child needs mental help
Is hard for some adults. Maybe thinking it’s his fault.
But this is more important than his feelings. And you are right, he is going to truly hurt your newborn.
I am by no means a doctor, but have studied phycology for years. (It’s interesting to me)
And children that hurt others children, secretly. As well as animals. Do need help.
Please leave when he is in your home, for the safety of your other children as well as your unborn child.
This will continue to get worse, aggression left untreated grows. It doesn’t go away on its own.
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So to me it would depend on how long you’ve been in your step sons life… assuming it’s been a little while, the whole no disciplining thing wouldn’t work for me. Either I’m disciplining or I’m not watching him 
it’s ridiculous to expect you to just sit back and allow him to torment your kids. You’re not a babysitter sis, if you’re expected to feed/clothe/house the child, you should be able to reasonably discipline.
Sorry not sorry- he needs more help than you can probably give him but at the same time you have to start somewhere and he needs to know that what he’s doing is absolutely wrong. I’m a firm believer that he probably won’t get it until he’s also affected by his own actions.
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Honestly sounds like a young boy having a rough time dealing with emotions. He is a boy, so he will be rough and obnoxious, and a handful. However, kids struggle dealing with emotions. I have 3 sons. My oldest had the worst behavioral issues, now I’m dealing with temper issues. And my middle does so many things that I can’t even explain. It’s like he lives in his own world. But he’s super sensitive and will do things for attention, even if it’s negative attention. They’ve seen behavioral specialists, etc. And really, I’ve come to consider a lot of reasoning behind their actions.
I think he needs some kind of help for sure, but it’s really disturbing reading the comments calling a 4yo a psychopath…
You and both his parents need to get together and consider options and find out what will help him. Maybe he wants more attention, maybe he’s jealous or bored, whatever… But something needs done.
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You are a mother! Your first job is to protect YOUR kids from abuse. It doesn’t matter who the abuser is. Your husband is a total loser apparently. WHY would you stand by like a scared little puppy and allow your husband and another child continue to abuse your kids??? You are married which means you have the right to say and decide what happens in your home. Your gonna have an infant where one punch to the skull can kill and then you want to play victim? NO. You have two choices…demand the kid get help and start punishing him or not be there at all until they get him help or leave. You will lose your kids if CPS gets called because one gets injured and they have to go to the hospital. I can’t say you didnt ask for it because you KNOW its going to happen and you let it. Might not be a bad thing if you are not going to step up and do what it takes to defend your kids. There is NO WAY IN HELL it would happen in my house and someone tell me I can’t do anything about it.
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Run… with your kids
There is absolutely no reason that your husband should be condoning that & not disciplining behavior. Honestly, if my fiancé’s son did that to our daughter and I wasn’t “allowed” to parent or discipline and he allowed that behavior I’d leave for the safety of my children. That little boy needs help… children don’t just act that way. It honestly sounds like acts and behaviors from a child who is or has been abused. He probably thinks that’s normal if that’s what’s going on. Otherwise, I’d say it could be a mental illness… you have to put your foot down, mama. Whether it be leaving your husband for allowing such behavior or leaving during the visits or you can let your husband know he can take his son wherever during visits but not near your children. But it’s also a HUGE red flag that your husband is allowing that? He seems to think it’s okay. He’s teaching him it’s okay to disrespect and hurt others… when he grows up, it’s teaching him he can abuse his partners too…
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That boy seems like he’s in pain and doesn’t know how to express his insecurity and jealousy. Discipline would teach him boundaries and show him that he’s loved. If Dad doesn’t let you do that, then he needs to do it. Your stepson is a victim not a problem. Your husband is a problem.
Child needs to be commited. Get a full diagnostic before being alowed back in the house
Why do you have to take care of him. You have enough of your own to worry about.?