I think you have a husband problem!
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Your kiddish husband! Dump him, there goes the bada__ kids!
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Tell your husband to parent his damn heathens or gtfo!
Pack ur stuff & leave IF ur husband cannot make them treat u with respect. They are not going to stop running over u until ur husband makes them. Leave for a few days see if he tries to fix the problem & ask u to come back⌠ur husband needs to know u have had enough. If that doesnât work⌠leave for good!
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Sounds like heâs the problem not the kid
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If the husband wonât back you up then the kids will never change. BYE FELICIA 
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Sounds like theyâre just following their dads behaviorâŚ.
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At 11,16 they should be doing chores. Privileges taken away! Itâs your home lay rules outâŚ
Tell husband to get on board or step outâŚ
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I have Zero tolerance for him and his kids. I would leave. Run for your life 
,
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Thereâs definitely an issue between you and your husband that needs to be addressed. You two need to get on the same page or the kids will never stop.
Howâs you relationship with their mom? I was lucky enough that my stepdaughters mom and I were able to coparent together and the kids werenât able to get away with things like that. If you guys can do that it would definitely help the situation.
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Summer is coming,save up and give yourself a break and stay in a hotel when they come,let the husband see the picture, if they donât tore the place around him, then clearly theyâre doing it to trigger you and out of disrespect. From there you can make a decision whether to stay with your no supportive husband or leave, seek therapy as well â¤ď¸âđŠš
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If he showed more respect, they would. It sounds like the problem is stemming from him.
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16 and 11 yrs old? Call for a family meeting and lay it out for your hubby and the kids~!
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Sounds like your âhusbandâ is the root of the problem
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The husband is the issue. The kids are taking his lead and you deserve better.
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Lock up the toys. Tell the hubby if he wants house cleaned while they are there he can do it
Heâs definitely sounds like a douche. Canât expect his kids to act any better if he acts that way.
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Time to ship off the hubby with his kids. Those are your husbandâs children and his responsibility not yours. Time for him to step up to the plate and control his brood. Time to put your foot down HARD.
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Honestly sounds like you need to set some boundaries with your hubby somthing tells me thatâs not going to work though I feel like you already know what you should do. Good luck hope it works out.
Take the keys with you and let hubby clean up after them on weekends
Pack your stuff into storage and find a place to live. Itâs time to file.
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Get divorce papers drawn upâŚand where it asks what the problem is in the marraigeâŚput it in large printâŚhe can face life alone or he can correct his childrenâŚpsâŚleave the papers on the kitchen table for him to readâŚ
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Oh wow. With all do respect, FcK them kids and their daddy. 
move your stuff out. Since he refuses to enforce that they respect you and your home, he can deal with them alone. NOT YOUR PROBLEM.
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MINE , IS ,
Please, Thank you
They want clean clothes, they will wash them I suppose. â Hey kids I AM DONE doing your clothes.
They will have to learn how to wash em / or wear FLITHY ones Iâm sure their friends donât wear. Hey compliment on their friends nice threadsâ
STIKE ! REVOLT .
DONE STOP. KAPISH
IF YOU STOP DOING IT FOR THEM ,
They do for themselves or they can do without. He their Dad can tell them responsibility of their own belongings.
They leave FLITHY dishes you eat at work .
Suppose someone will feed themselves and clean up the mess or shit no room to cook with your FLITHY dishes ??
If they want a free / clean / love and care and not RESPECT you enough to be thankful for a roof over their heads
Fuck em and put your foot down your crib not theirs they are the guest not you .
Respect is earned not given.
Care for my things and clean up after yourselves or donât bother staying here stay will their mother for having unfit living arrangements in your hope while they are there and your are not raising their children for your home and things to be treated like shit ! ! !
DONE !!!
That is what I would be doing and if drugs and or alcohol are involved at times you are fucked
IF you donât fight to be respected in your own fucking home
They show feel not welcomed to be there
Thatâs me been there with 4 year old/ 7 year old girls my steps and we had full time pretty much
7 years I served in hell with him and his no help and they were princesses the Fuck they were we want nice to shit From me you will show respect or stay at your mothers place and they did spend more time with her
Until they learned it was a give and talk friendships not a life sentence.
But that just me 
good luck
Stay Calm tell your husband not the kids, letâs work together and find solutions, get counseling if not all fails you need a rethink about your needs and this is what you want and how you are accepting being treated?
Set up cameras and donât let them know then show your husband.
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Have a family meeting. Let everyone have 5 minutes or so to speak. When it comes to your turn. Let them know your not dealing with this disrespect anymore. But you might find out what the problem is, why their acting out at your house and not their moms house. Respect goes two ways if their not showing you respect do not show them any. And do by all means take your keys with you do not allow them to destroy what you worked hard for
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Have him get a hotel for visits
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I have a blended family and my bonus son acts like that well used to now itâs not as bad but it was causing alot of issues between me and his father.His bio mom let him do whatever he wanted so he had no respect for anyone.It took me and his father being on the same page and I mean 100 percent of the time.We talk about every move we make with him so we both know whatâs going on.Sadly to say itâs not ever going to change until their dad is on your side and I mean completely.Kids see when parents donât agree and they feed off that.They have no respect for you or your home.If they see their father doesnât why would they.Im sorry your going through it and I completely understand but itâs not going to get any easier until their dad is willing to back you up or unless you stay some place else while they are there and you remove everything you donât want them touching and then tell your husband itâs his responsibility to clean up before you get home.GOOD LUCK
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You lay the law down! Donât let them play or go online until itâs picked up. You are their mother also! An 11 year old, thatâs normal lol, but 16 should be more respectful! But he needs to demand they respect you! You are number one! Heâs not teaching his kids to be good spouses someday by disrespecting mom!
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There mom might be telling them to do this to make your life hell!! Knowing her ex has no spine.
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Look up the nacho kid method
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I would tell the husband that till him and his kids can respect the house and respect you as well, that they are not welcomed.
Even tell him that he needs to start supporting you or you want a divorce because him and his kids have no respect for you or even for their dad.
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Talk to the kids about picking up their own thingsâŚshouldnât really an issueâŚif they donât leave it. Hubby may figure out you have had enough disrespect and either back you OR the kids. Your choice at that pointâŚnot worth it in my bookâŚabsolutely no disrespect! You cannot teach them to be decent adults when you have no help. Farm kids learn very early it takes everyone to put in the time not just kne person doing it allâŚeven if you are a stay a home momâŚyou need your down time too!
How are they setting fires???
Honestly, this sounds like your husband disrespecting and disregarding you and the kids see they can get away with this behavior, because their father not only allows it but examples it. I say the real problem lies with your husband and unless you and he can work it out and he steps up then you may need to consider leaving him.
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Take the side by side keys with you. Donât clean up after his kids. Let them leave and then tell him ok, you get to clean up after your children since you didnât make them help you - itâs alllll you.
And make yourself an exit plan because wow.
PS- I called the mother when my SD started this BS. She flipped out and itâs been better.
I have no shame in my game so I sent photos and screen shots just in case dude tried to change his story.
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Kick them out, husband included
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My husband custody order sounds a lot like yours and we would have the kids 2 weekends a month and then bam all spring break and all summer. And it never got easier. Itâs hard on everyone when they go from barely being there to bam everyday for 3 months. Iâm wondering if youâve ever had a good relationship with them? Have they been this way the whole time?
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Stop cleaning up after them. Theyâre old enough. If hubby says they will do it later, let them. Hold him accountable and stop cleaning up after them.
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Sorry but Iâd be gone! No respect from any of them. Those kids are not babies their more than half grown. Oh hell noâŚIâd sit the Dad down and tell him this stops now or Iâm outta here. Their probably trying to get rid of you and I would save them the effort⌠bye bye brats!! 
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Send them and dad packing
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I have the same issue with my daughter⌠shes 11, if we get mad at her like we did tonight for searching up SEX on my c
Laptop she goes and distroys something. She has done unimaginable things, things people honestly dont believe. She is supposedly working with a psychiatrist but he blames my son. When its HER its all her. She doesnt live with us because of her distructive behavior, but still to this day does anything she can to distroy the house.
Hide the keys to the side by side first first of all. Act kinda mad like u donât know, like u have no idea where they are. Then some how he needs to learn how to put his foot down!!! They are full grown kids. So put ur foot down too. This is ur house, they need to respect that. If they or he canât respect that then all of them should go. Husband needs to make them respect u. So stay and put up with it, or leave and have no more contact with him
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Sounds like the husband needs to step up . Also rules need to be made and you both need to agree 100% . Although theyâre biologically his , it is your house too ! And they need to respect it and you as well . Seeing as they are 11 and 16 they should know to respect adults especially those who feed clothe and put a roof over their head . A serious conversation is in order with you and your husband as well as the kids .
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Your hubby doesnât respect you so the kids see it. This why they treat you like that. So talk to your hubby.
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Kind of hard of your husband is against you might be time to divorce
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DIVORCE
Neither you husband nor his kids respect you
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crack down on them
boot camp time
take away EVERYTHING.
MAKE them clean there stuff up evemnif u have to stand there and watch them. step child or not they would not be doing this. hellll no. dont take no shit from them. take the keys to ur 4 wheeler with u to work or w.e u go so they cant ride. it. wme they leaving arounfd hrow away and if they ask where it went. oops it wasn put away thought it was trash 
h
i got a step kid and i dont take no bullshit from her. or the bitch mom.
crack down on the kids or donât let them over anymore till they learn how to Act. fuck that bs
hubby dont like it he can go too.
Get rid of them all who needs this shit??? NOT YOU FOR SURE
Make ur husband start cleaning up after his kids that way , he will have more of a understanding
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So this says these are his step kids as well?? Like wtf seems like a weird thing âŚbut I dont know the underlying situationâŚif I was in that situation I wouldnt let them come back âŚnine years and they still treat you like that 
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Your husband doesnât respect you so the kids donât, if heâs not willing to do anything about their behavior then thereâs not much you can doâŚhe is the parent and the law to them, they are following his lead, he allows it so your just the bitch Step mom to themâŚthe harder you try to get them to do stuff and be respectful the worse it will be comeâŚthey are rebelling against youâŚyou are the enemy to themâŚits clearly being done on purpose. If your husband wonât back you then might want to reconsider your marriage.
It sounds like you have an extra child not a husband. Sorry babe.
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Tell them to ALL leave⌠Your better off on your own
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Respect & help or him & them would have to go
Donât clean, donât buy chips, soda, take battery out of side by side, and spark plugs!
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Theyâre your husbandâs kids. Tell him youâre not cleaning any more of his childrenâs mess & stick to your guns. At 16 & 11 theyâre old enough to clean up after themselves & also old enough to do their own laundry, etc. You donât need to be a maid for either of them.
If your husband complains then remind him they are HIS kids & it falls on him to parent them, including teaching them how to clean up after themselves & do chores. Iâm amazed that you say he can kick up a fuss if the home is not cleaned up before he gets home but he doesnât fuss while his children are creating a mess right in front of him while youâre away 
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Look, those kids treat you that way bc theyâre allowed to. Your husband doesnât care. Period.
Do a staycation, just pack up and for a whole week stay at a hotel, donât go home for any reason even if he begs you to. 7 days and 7 nights away.
One of two things will happen, the house will be destroyed and heâs going to apologize and ask for help or itâs going to be destroyed and he still doesnât care. One of those things will help better your marriage or you can choose to leave for good.
If that week away doesnât do anything you can either put up with it with a smile on your face or realize you deserve better bc your husband clearly doesnât care how anyone treats you.
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Boot your husband in the teeth and make him and the kids sleep outside, donât even care about a tent⌠Heâs being disrespectful and is teaching them the same, he probably talks shyt behind your back too.
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None respect you, put your foot down, and tell him itâs either you do something about your kids or Iâm gone
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Umm leave. What do you mean your husband has a come apart on you? He clearly has no rest for you so those kids never will either.
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Put your foot down on your husband since they donât listen to you and you are getting all the negative reactions put on you!!! Fed Up
I went through this with my ex. We have been apart 10 years now. His son and mine are the same age. Both were 26 at that time. He lived with us most of the time. And so did his girlfriend. They told people that I refused to cook dinner for them because I asked that they simply let me know if they would be there so I knew how many to cook for. He had 2 grown Rottweilers and she had a grown Doberman. They thought nothing of leaving the house and the dogs with me. The dogs were allowed to pee on things in the house and I was the one ridiculed when I said something about it. Mine lived with us for a short time, too. But the rules were not the same. There were double standards. My son was expected to pay rent, his wasnât. My son was expected to help around the house, his wasnât. I found out later he complained to his new girlfriend (thatâs why we broke up) about how terrible I was to his son. What a bitch I was. She saw through the truth real fast. I hate to say this, but if your husband wonât do anything now, he never will. Evaluate your happiness and proceed with that. Things probably wonât change.
Sign them up for summer camp . Go volunteer in a soup kitchen. Take them to volunteer with you. In other words, stay busy away from the house as much as possible, so that they wonât be there to destroy it. Take them skating, bowling , movies . Places outside like the park. Take a picnic. Go fishing. Go hiking ectâŚ
Why does your husband take them if their not even his kids? Iâd put my foot down. Like others said Iâd hide the side by side keys and not let anyone of them ride it! Youâll be out of that soon and a house if those brats are around any longer. None of them respect you at all.
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Iâd rather be on my own life is too short
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Sounds like some counseling would be helpful. He doesnât seem to respect you and you canât have love without respect romantically. Hope this helps
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They donât respect you and it sounds like your husband doesnât either. If he did he would set down some ground rules for his kids and make them treat you with respect. If it got to the point your husband just takes their side every time then itâs time to leave. They canât just destroy things that you worked so hard for. Itâs not worth your sanity.
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Um so you married this man after all of this was going on 6 years prior? Guess you get what you got. Not that much love in the world.
Maybe switch shifts.
Leave his ass, your man should always be supportive and understanding. Or at the very least listen to your concerns and come to an agreement. Respect from the children will not happen if their father doesnât respect you either.
Yeah, Iâd be hauling ass out of there. Sorry.
Write up an itemized list of everything they have broken, as well as house cleaning fees for their messes (get a video camera and show what they do) Then tell husband he has 2 choices, get those kids to act right or you will divorce and sue for services rendered and damages to your belongings.
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If your husband allows it then it will never change. You need to get your husband on board. Maybe family counseling. Thatâs tough bc he probably doesnât want to disciplineďżź them bc he feels guilty not seeing them very much but all heâs doing is making them entitled little brats. 
he needs to kick it into gear before itâs to late.
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The husband is a child as well. Wonât put his kids in line. Your better off divorcing him and moving on with your life because your husband obviously sees no wrong in what those kids do and it will only get worse.
I guess I would leave when itâs your turn, let your husband bond with them. Time for you to take a vaca, maybe apt. for those times or family?
Sounds like your husband is trying to make up for the fact that him and mom are divorced and he donât want to be the bad guy⌠which I can understand at the same time your his wife⌠he chose you ⌠so there for there should be rules and boundaries and they should be enforced or⌠there are consequences⌠This really sucks⌠Iâm sorry I didnât catch or may have read over do yâall not share any kids? Just his kids from prior marriage
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When my step daughter was being rude and disrespectful to me I told her to pitch a tent outside if she doesnt like my rules. Now I dont get any bs from her
Stop cleaning up after them. If they canât wash their own clothes, then they wonât have any clean clothes. Theyâre definitely old enough to clean up after themselves. If your husband complains tell him itâs not your mess
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Iâm sorry you have to go through this I would have lost my cool ages ago and left.
So if your husband wonât give you the respect of helping you get his children under control and youâve done everything you can and youâre at your wits end then me personally itâs time to go talk to their mother I would go over your husbandâs head and I would call their mother and ask to have a sit-down conversation about the things that are going on in your house when her children are there and ask her to help you get it and them under control. Otherwise I donât know what to tell you go on strike make it your husbandâs responsibility to take care of the house and his children and you take care of yourself
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Your husband is trying to compensate for the divorce, avoid conflict, or be a friend to his kids instead of a parent. Blending families is never easy and his kids havenât accepted you. Until he behaves like a parent, they wonât.
You can try sitting down with his ex-wife to find out what chores they do at her home. Explain that you want the kids to have consistent rules at both homes. Make her your ally.
At 16 and 11, the kids can do their own laundry. Also find out how the ex handles dirt tracked into the house etc.
Stop letting the kids motorcross if theyâre damaging the bikes. They clearly arenât ready for the responsibility.
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Hereâs my advice, I donât have kids but if you donât want to leave and you want to keep trying hereâs some thoughts. You and your husband need to get on the same page. Maybe try counselling so he can understand more about your needs. It also sounds like the kids have free reign at your house possibly because itâs the only time they get to be kids. Sounds like your husband wants to be the fun friend instead of a dad, maybe because he doesnât get to see them much so he wants them to have a lot of good, fun memories at your place.
Your house is more of the fun house where they get to let loose. Does the mom do all of the cleaning at her house? Maybe they need to be shown how to clean.
Sounds like theyâre acting out especially with the burn holes and random holes. Maybe analyze your relationship with them- do they know they are a nuisance to you? That will strain any relationship. Maybe take them out on the side by side and teach the 11 year old how to safely drive it. It also sounds like they need some tools on how to regulate their emotions. I bet their mom deals with a lot more than she lets on. If youâve checked out on them, they have checked out on you.
Seven letters.
D
I
V
O
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C
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Hell to the nah, nah, nah. Hell nah!
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So, he has the audacity to allow his children to act this way⌠and then in the same breath, chew you out for not doing enough house work?
Thatâs f*cking insanity. Stop choosing insanity.
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Nope, I would put it all in the garbage. They clearly donât care about their belongings so why should you. And your husband needs to grow a pair of balls and step up. If not nothing will change. What you allow will continue
Your problem is YOUR SORRY EXCUSE HUSBAND. Get rid off him and all the problems go bye bye!
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How can you expect the children to respect you, when your husband doesnât?
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First offâŚsorry that you are going thru this. Second, Iâm in the same boat. My bf has a 15 year old girl and 11 yr old boy. Except their mom letâs them do whatever they want and we are the bad guys. But we have them week on, week off. But they are slobsâŚclothes, food, drinks everywhere. Honestly I ignore it. At least I try. I push all the responsibility back on my bf because weâve had discussion after discussion that Iâm not their maid. I really donât do anything for them. The only time I step in is if they are being a bad influence on my little ones. Ignore them and donât let them have access to any of your belongings. Good luck!
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The husband and the kids would have to go!! I would not work come home and deal with this mess!!! Kids only do what they are allowed!! Husband had no respect for you!! He allows it he is the one responsible for it!! They would not destroy my home or my belongings!!! He would not disrespect me like that!! Get out or run him off!!
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Get you an apartment, file for divorce, and let him have itâŚcause it will never change, it will only get worseâŚseems like your husband is just using you to clean house if he flips out if you donât. Seems like he is only using youâŚleave .
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Get rid of ALL of them! It will only get worse!
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Take the keys to the side by side and your four wheeler and hide them. Hire a cleaning person because you doing it all is ridiculous!! I had a stepdaughter similar to this (not quite the extent, but same concept) and it was part of what killed my relationship with her father. Donât let it drive you to being unhappy. It may be time to call it quits since husband has no respect for you or his kids.
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If you are on talking terms with their mother I would suggest talking it over with her. Since itâs obvious who the parent figure is with those kids. But if itâs not then I can only say try your best to discipline them. Take away the WiFi, hide tv remotes, disconnect roku, hide the keys. Then when your husband asks where these all are just simply ask if the house is clean then youâll give âem up. Youâll be at work so it will be easy to ignore him if he pesters
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Your husband has to get with it here and actually make them do things. If he wonât work with you nothing will change. The only to change things is if you put your foot down. Leave or tell him if nothing changes then you are gone.
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Id have to leave him fuck that and them kids period there never going to respect you because he doesnât
Sounds like your husband is the problem.
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You need to divorce him asap stop wasting your time he doesnât need a wife apparently he needs a maid he can go hire one! The kids treat you like that cause he allows them too! You can do anything to change that unless he changes and it seems he wonât so donât waste your time anymore. Do your self a favor and walk away. If you stay it will get worse the older the kids get and if you have kids together itâll be worse. Value yourself enough to walk away. Best of luck to you.
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The first step is to stop referring to your stepchildren as assholes. The second step is to initiate family counseling. Blended families are hard.