My stepkids destroy my house and belongings

Hello I have been married for 3 years now and we have been together for almost 9 . So he has 2 step kids one is 16 year old girl and other is 11 year old boy. With this being said I am at the end of my line! I dont know what to do. I need help ! So the 11 year old gets away with everything . (There moms house is clean and they don’t treat mine like they do her’s) they track mud all in my house they throw down chip bag cans cups all over my house . I have burn holes in my new couch. The boy set my back pourch on fire! Holes in the walls no one know where they came from! I have stuff poured out and no one cleans up! Keep in mind these kids are 16 an 11 . I work nights , so when I come home my house is dirty . I have to clean it every day before I go to work at 4 pm . Or husband has a come apart on me! When I tell my husband to have the kids pick it up he says they will do it later. I tell them to do something they look at me like I’m crazy . These kids have dirt bikes too. So I have a 4 wheeler that I let the kids ride they have wrecked it and not took care of it at all! The reason I let them ride it so they can learn responsibility. But they have just torn it up! So I have a 30,000 $$$ side by side I don’t let the 11 year old ride because he just breaks stuff because its mine. But when I’m not around husband let’s him drive it! So we fight about that! I have washed all of the 11 year old clothes and go look in his room last night there all in the floor covered in mud! Husband said all I do it bitch about kids ! But can anyone help me with ideas how to make these kids mind and be less of a**holes to me ! Husband is no help. We only have the kids when there out of school! Spring break and every other weekend . All summer! They live with the mother 2 hours away the rest of the time! If ya have took the time to read all of this please help! I beg you!

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My stepkids destroy my house and belongings

Stop picking up after them, let your husband do it!! I bet his attitude changes then and he starts laying some rules

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You need to start with the husband, if he’s not respecting you then the kids surely will not!
Be real and honest, have conversations about how to change things. If not then you need to think about how you move forward, is it alone or with a partner

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1st I would not clean the mess
2nd I would take the keys to my side by side and if that didn’t work I would take the tire off ! And bring it to work with me !
And if this is YOUR home , kick them all out husband included ! They are all three rude and ungrateful and mean to you

I’d leave that mess to them. Bye Felicia

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Maybe mommy put them up too it

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If the husband isn’t going ro respect you then the won’t ever either.
Maybe they want you gone. Sorry to say.
Your gonna be happier in your own.

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You’re worried about the kids but it’s obvious your husband has no respect for you either. It’s time to go lady. If that’s your home put all of their a**es out. Life is too damn short to be putting up with bull💩.

Issue here is the husband.

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Honestly if your husband cares so little to respect you, his children won’t. I would leave because they aren’t going to change

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Girl. Get your husband on his kids asses. They are too damn old to be doing this shit. Either they pay for the repairs, or your husband can contact their mother for her to pay for the damages. They are gis responsibility since they clearly don’t listen to you or respect your things. If husband refuses, I’d leave. Control your kids or I’m out

Hide the keys to the side by side for starters. Start keeping them on you. Make rules that their rooms can be messy but they have to clean it spotless before they go to moms and tell them and him not to expect shit from you

The kids don’t respect you because you husband doesn’t respect you. I would start with that. Do you have family you could take your important things to while their at your house? You might trying staying with family one of their visits so your husband is forced to deal with them and clean up after them.

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No wheelers or side by sides. Lock up all snack things. Do not wash their clothes. Have the 11yo help with burned porch repairs. Both help with mysterious holes no one knows anything about. They can drink water out of the faucet, no fancy bottled items. If this can’t/won’t be done, leave.

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Kick hubby out lol problem solved

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They would ALL be GONE!!!

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Lock your stuff up if you can and when you’re asked just tell it like it is. They can’t take care of your stuff. If it’s your place you may need to tell that man to find a place he can take them on the time he has them. You’re not there maid.

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Dad is the issue. He needs to assure that he and the kids respect you!

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Your husband should have ur back a team he seems … Not sorry girl I’ll say a prayer for u let God help you​:pray::innocent::purple_heart:

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This is an issue with your husband.

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He would hit the door and take his kids with him…The end!

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I put up cameras to prove to my husband, and I have him a choice, I packed my shit and my kids and our kids and said that I refused to be treated like this in my own house

Walk away now it will only get worst

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You have more patience than I do. I’d done been gone….just saying

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Is time to roll out! If the husband doesn’t respect you, his kids definitely won’t respect you, and I refuse to stay in a marriage where I’m not getting any team support. It’s time to go honey, I’m sorry to say but is the truth anyhow.

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Let it go for a week. Don’t clean up after them at all. Show your husband how much you actually do, by not doing it. Then tell him since he said the kids can clean it up later, it’s later now and make them responsible for the mess. Including your husband.

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Girl its time to go! No way in hell my husband would be bitching at me to clean up shit his kids did! F*ck that! You aren’t a wife! You are a maid! Know your worth!

Sorry but it sounds like not one person has any respect for you and your home. Kick them out. You deserve better than what your being handed

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If the dad won’t listen to you, neither will the kids… you have to leave because he obviously doesn’t care about your well being

Nothing will change unless your husband changes. It sounds like he’s that parent that thinks his kid’s do no wrong. I personally wouldn’t put up with the disrespect towards me and my things. He’s literally letting them do whatever they please.

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I’d leave. Fuck him & his messy ass kids

Aww dont clean their mess up let them do it n when hubby says what happened here say this is how ur kids treat out home … maybe the mother maybe telling them to do these things so u will bow down n leave ,but to me ur stronger than that just let them clean there own mess up

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You put up with this for 6 years then got married you are nuts

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It’s not about the kids… is starts with your husband.

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Honestly start letting him pick up after his kids :woman_shrugging:t3: if he has an issue with the place being dirty tell him to speak to his children, or start disciplining them :tipping_hand_woman:t3: take things away, ground them, etc

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First off if he can’t make his kids mind you need to.tell him straight up they can listen or they can leave. Aint no way that would be goingnon at my house when I bust my butt for stuff. And for your side by side take the keys with you

Kids know they can get away with it. Stop doing anything while they are there. Take the keys to the side by side and 4wheeler. Your husband can clean and wash laundry.

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So your husband has a “come apart” on you for not cleaning up the mess his kids made all night while you were at work? Yeah, tell him to clean that shit up or he can tell his kids too, since he thinks you are just complaining about his kids. They are not little kids but not old enough to be smoking or anything so why are they burn holes in the couch? I would say talk to your husband about it but it doesn’t seem like he respects anything you say either. I would tell husband stuff is gonna change or you are gone and mean it!

What i would do is get rid of everything fun and actually sit down with your husband and tell him what you want out of the situation and unfortunately if yall can’t come to an agreement it maybe time to cut your losses!

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How the kids going to respect you if your husband doesn’t respect you? Does their mother respect you at all or is she one of those that bad talks you to the children? Stop cleaning up after the kids too and if your husband gets angry over it just gray rock him and ignore him seriously. But I’m going to be honest if y’all been together for 9 years and they been like this since day 1 then I highly doubt anything you do or don’t do is going to change anything at this point. You need to put your happiness first and you honestly don’t sound happy and let me tell you stress will kill you (trust me I know)

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Go ahead and tell hubby since all u do is b### that you are done. He is now in charge of his kids(should b helping anyway) if he can’t do it then they need to go back to their mom’s. He don’t like it tell him to kick rocks too. He should not be allowing them to disrespect you.

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Leave fuck him and them bad ass kids :joy::joy::joy::joy:

They don’t respect you because your husband doesn’t. They don’t clean up after themselves bc he doesn’t expect them to. They don’t take care of anything bc he doesn’t care if they do it not, obviously. Tell him that he can make them clean up after themselves or he can clean up after them because you aren’t anymore. If he has a come apart on you then give it back to him. Honestly I’d just divorce him.

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I would leave. It doesn’t sound like anyone respects you and you have no support from their dad so they know they can get away with it. Take your stuff snd leave.

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I’d be getting a divorce

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Leave him. He’s not worth this.

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Take the keys to the four wheeler and side by side, STOP doing their laundry, any trash you find throw in their room, lock up all snacks in a single pantry where you have the key, also if you can get a inside camera, and outside one, show your husband what they are doing, sit him down and say well if you think it’s bitching it’s obvious I need help, ask him how is it fair to be treated like a maid and the things you work hard for destroyed, but all in all stop doing things for them, if they leave dirty clothes around your house throw it in a garbage bag and “away” hide in garage till they realize you aren’t joking,

Honestly this will not get any better because your husband doesn’t seem to care. You need to give him an ultimatum. You need to put your foot down and so does he. If not it’s time to go

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If husband doesn’t agree with you time to take your stuff & leave !!! If it’s your place kick there ass out

Husband needs a come to Jesus meeting…

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If your husband doesn’t respect you, the kids won’t either. That is so disrespectful on so many levels. I’m so sorry you are going thru this. I know you’ve been with him for a long time but honestly it is not going to get better unless he starts respecting you and your home. He should he picking up the slack for what the kids aren’t doing. If they’re making the mess, he should be making then clean it. I would tell him its disrespectful to you and your relationship and if he can’t do better then maybe he is showing how he feels about you. Unfortunately he is showing he doesn’t care. So sad. Very sorry.

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Oh hell no, you’re to good of a person for what? You have no support from there dad. That right just tell me that you are a laugh to there face including to their dad your husband ? Wow you have patience or you blind.

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These kids are not being taught be example! That’s your husband’s fault! And until he shows you respect, and demands the same of them, there is nothing anyone here can do to help you.

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The first problem is with the husband The children need to see him respecting you as they should. You are not just a maid and in my opinion you should show some ‘tough love’ by putting your foot down to the nonsense. They are being extremely disrespectful to you in your own home.

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Stop cleaning up after them. Easier said than done but it will get the point across. He needs to talk to the kids because anything considered negative coming from you will only statin the relationship with your bonus kids even more. I’d also say to bring the keys to your side by side when ever you leave the house and the kids are there.

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I am so sorry for your current situation. The biggest problem here is the lack of respect from your husband. He should have the kids respect you and the home you both work hard to provide. Addressing and working on this with your husband will produce a ripple affect and you two will be on the same page, therefore your children will see a united front and will be made to obey your house rules. Please seek therapy for your husband and yourself and when your relationship improves, so will every other aspect in your lives. You can do this!

Honestly I’d leave, I couldn’t deal with the constant disrespect from a husband or his children

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Tell him your at your end… Stop cleaning up after them & let him do it… they break anything than it’s on him…

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How disrespectful…those kids AND that husband! Keep keys, lock up what you dont want, learn to look at husband and even if his mouth moves…your deaf to it! Dont clean their crap, hell go on strike! No excuse for that nonsense.

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Damn. Thats bad. Better just get rid of the garbage can. Sweep there shit in a pile. Put your foot down. Stop fucking cleaning. Throw there shit outside. Flip the breakers so rhey cant use the tv or certain outlets. Start buying TV dinners you like.
I agree with the dont clean for a week. Dont clean for no one.
Im going thru shit myself. Pissed i clean alt the time, sweep, do laundry, make dinner and i bring clothes upstairs and no one helps me put it away.
Ive stopped washing dishes. Ive switched to paper plates. I have 2 kids under 5 and trying to teach them to be good. Its tough.
Good luck but something isnt working you need to change. Take yourself a you day. Keave go get your nails done. O yes pull the Keys on the quad too

Time for all of them to just go hole up somewhere else!!!

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First you need to make your husband respect you before they ever will u need to put ur foot down with him first then put ur foot down to both of those ungrateful brats if it doesn’t work tell them to kick rocks

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Set boundaries, husband needs to support you… I’d be close to calling it donzie :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

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Sounds a like the bio parents are the problem. And that your husband has zero respect for you.
Take pics and document everything.

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Tell them to stay in a hotel. Itll probably cost less.

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Unless your husband starts backing you up and stops undermining you those kids aren’t going to give a flip about anything you have to say. I’m sorry, but it seems first and foremost you need to fix whatever is going on between you and your husband. Unless/until the two of you are a united front, nothing you say will mean anything to them bc they can just wait until you leave for work and Dad will let them do whatever.

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It wouldn’t take me long to fall out of love with that and leave😳

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Let them stay with the Mother for a while until they learn how to clean up their mess

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I say divorce the jerk and be done with all your problems.

#1 problem is your husband. Until he steps in nothing will change

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For the dirt bikes and the side by side, take the keys and either hide them or put them in your purse/vehicle so when you’re gone, no one can use them. Put a password on the wifi and no one gets access till the chores are done. If your husband doesn’t do anything about it, make him do chores too. He’s raising little asshøles…

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If he has a “come apart” at you when you bring it to his attention, have a “come apart” at him and the kids. Its sad to have to come to that but sometimes thats what it takes

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What disrespect the husband is to you and the children! He sounds like a child himself. Not to be rude, but being truthful woww!! I would kick them all out!

Cameras, say it’s for security but leave it on, when you’re gone,

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On a positive note, Spring Break is over or almost over. And, as far as Summer goes, girl, I will be praying for you. Sending you lots of positive vibes. You are obviously a strong woman for enduring it this long, but I bet you would be badass on your own for a while too. :heart:

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They treat you like that because their dad does. Stop cleaning up after them. Tell him his kids he can deal with it. Take the keys to your bikes to work with you. Tell your so called husband to man up or leave.

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There has to be some respect n responsibility here but there’s none ,seems dad’s OK with this well let dad clean up why should u do it nah I wouldn’t be sorry I would of been long gone by now but maybe that’s what those kids want but ur strong just don’t lift a finger when they are there or better still go out to a friends place

This is 1000000% a husband problem

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Your husband obviously doesn’t respect U. Pack up and get outta there

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I can’t say what I want to say bc fb will block me🤐 but yea it starts with your husband.

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Tell your husband you will be leaving whenever they come to stay. He can deal with it. A d he can clean the mess when they leave.

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Oh man your husband needs to have your back 100% and if not you will never win that battle!!! Good luck

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I’d start with getting rid of the husband. He sounds ungrateful and unhelpful. There are two fairly grown kids and a man who can also clean, the fact he will get after you for the house not being clean after he lets his kids run wild and doesn’t hold them responsible for their actions? Nahhh…… screw that. Why torture yourself with all of that. He clearly has no intentions of raising his kids to be respectful there and they know they can do whatever and get away with it. Don’t let him be disrespectful towards you and teaching his kids to be disrespectful towards you as well.

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Get some professional help with this and do not worry about fall out

I let the kid room get a mess to the point they couldn’t move I refused to clean up for 2 months the room eventually kids got the picture so did husband

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Guess work with husband or him work with you with out that not chance get lo k can drive what you di not want only drive dad’s stuff

Speak to the mothers…obviously the kids know thier moms will kick thier ass in her home if they disrespect it…but daddy lets them take over…no rules!!! The mothers probably dont appreciate thier attitudes when they come home from daddys…so talk to them bout the problem…they will probably streighten the kids out…and demand your husband respect you and that he damand the same respect from his kids twards you and your home…he needs to point out that you are NOT thier built in made…or…he can hire a sitter and pick them up from the sitter on his way home after work…so they are not un attended to destroy your house…and insist he pay for it out of his own pocket…after all…thay are HIS KIDS.

The ex wife probably tells them to act that way

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Seems like your husband is the problem

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Tell your husband to get rid of these disrespectful little tyrants. Peace out. Not your kids and not his kids so f off

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STOP.CLEANING.AFTER.THESE.LITTLE.MF’s
And take your keys with you.

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I’m sorry to say that you will always be second. Just like any parent should. BUT the fact that he allows disrespect is not good. It’s up to you what you want. Only you can decide if you’ve had enough

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U have got no respect in your home get out of there start your life over

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So you are treated like crap and your husband has zero respect for you. The truth is you accept it or leave. Staying is acceptance. Don’t be anywhere you are treated like trash. Would you let a guest behave this way. You cannot make your husband or anyone else respect you. If you are married to a man that doesn’t respect you without you needing to ask or demand it you shouldn’t be married. Up to you now to decide how much you actually respect yourself and then choose to stay with how it is or leave .

Kids can be spiteful little [email protected]#%s! Hubby needs a kick up the ass too.

You need to have THE TALK WITH HUBBY.either them or me

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:stop_sign:For me this is grounds for A divorce!!:warning:

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Just stop cleaning when they are over and ask your husband to observe their behavior. He needs to back you up and show some respect for you. The kids see the disrespect and therefore make it easy to disrespect you too. Do not clean up after them. That should be on your husband. Time for a hard change. Good luck!

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Throw out the husband…kids will follow…no respect from him so the kids are the same!

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