This isn’t a problem with the children. You and your husband need to get on the same page and back eachother up. We have 4 kids 16, 10, 5 and 3. You have to have very clear rules and expectations and both of you have to be consistent. You might want to consider couples therapy to help you communicate, you should be able to have disagreements without fighting and agree on rules for the kids.
5 Likes
Different mama different house! Set YOUR rules for your home and I would DARE anyone treat my things disrespectful, including DADDY! SHUT UP AND SHOW OUT !
If dad won’t help get rid of all of them their dad letting them get away with it and that’s not going to change
1 Like
If the cloths are on floor pick them up and bin them he couldnt have wanted themor other stuff left on floor thewill learnt to pick up dont mention where they have gone
You sound like you don’t want them there at all…
1 Like
But don’t pick up after then they can do it…
Correct me if I am wrong. These kids are his step children from another relationship? Because if that is the case, I would have a serious conversation with Hubby and Baby Mama and in that conversation I would lay down serious boundaries with serious consequences if crossed. These kids are just being malicious. I would also make it known that the damage they have cause so far needs to be compensated by baby mama. If it were me seriously I would tell hubby they are no longer welcome in the house and if he wants to see them then he needs to make arrangements or plan a trip away from your house. You shouldn’t have to deal with this on any level and the fact that your husband is not supporting you tells me he has no respect for you and I would leave his ass too. What is going on is appalling. The firebug should have been arrested for arson. These kids are showing disturbing signs and I would not want them anywhere near me or my home.
Sell all their toys including your husbands and hire a maid. What can’t be clean or restored you replace with new from the proceeds. If all else fails, trade in the husband for a real man
3 Likes
Can you chat with their mom and see if she can help on her end? Maybe hearing from her they will respect what is said? Dad definitely needs to get on the same page. And at that age all should be involved in cleaning, not just you!! Look into the cost of the maid. Of they cannot help clean than they can pay for a maid every day!!!
1 Like
I acted stupid. My step kids fully respect me. I only had problems with one. But we have sole custody of her. She is 13 and a handful.
I’d say start with cameras. Put up cameras in the house, and show him what is being done and not done. You aren’t the maid, you’re the step mom/wife. You have just as much right to take care of your possessions in the home as he does. Just because he is “man”, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have the right to do anything around the house. I lived a situation similar to that, and refused to be the maid, and oh so kindly packed his shyt, and out they went 
. They didn’t want to respect me, my rules, or my property or my children’s property…Momma DON’T play that. Love ya, but I love me and mine just as much. As long as he allows the disrespect to happen, and the kids be lazy, there will never be a change.
I have the same problem. Personally I’m leaning towards there being no real solutions for this and if you are lucky enough to locate one that you feel to be worthy and works, please remember my name and face, so you can see to it that I can join you in happiness and harmony. I’m kidding a little about being contacted… I guess… Unless you’re actually willing to with it lol. I would not be offended by any stretch of the imagination💘.
In the meantime I’m doing shitty Af dealing with my very own 17 year old who has no dad now because he decided that he would not be wearing his seat belt … So yeah between the two things I feel so bad about being even awake and just want to stay sleeping. I understand what you’re going through though it is not fair and the partner who is supposed to be backing you up is not doing it and instead being defensive and full on putting the loyalty he is supposed to have under his rude and disrespectful children who need for him to get on your level and create some boundaries but also follow through by not allowing them to get away with crossing them.
If your husband doesn’t help he is part of the problem, first I would stop cleaning up after them, do not do anything, no clean clothes, no making food, nothing, until they can learn to clean up and respect your home. After all that your husband still doesn’t pick up the slack then I think it’s time they all leave your home!
7 Likes
And I know you have to love them as they are part of him … They sound like they need some love…unfortunately giving in to whatever they want and being too easy on them and not expecting some respect and consideration has taken presidence over the guidance and right example he is supposed to have been setting is his responsibility and its obviously not being prioritized properly.
I
Love my step kids but they treat me
Like crap because they have learned from their dad it’s okay to because he will defend them even if they are wrong.
1 Like
The kids aren’t the problem. The husband is. Stop cleaning up after everyone. Clean YOUR messes and leave everything else. When he bitches about it, point out that you were at work, so it’s not your mess.
Sounds like his kids are just being mean to you on purpose your husband should stand up and make them clean up after themselves that’s just sad.
Lay down some rules and tell your husband to respect you.if they don’t then I’d be gone.
Hell no, sounds like your ‘husband’ or man child needs a reality check himself! be stern and refresh their little brains of responsibility. and if it doesn’t change, throw their stuff out 
1 Like
I would tell all of them to get out. Ya husband not doing nothing and his kids is being brats and tearing ish up.
1 Like
How many more years of your life do you want to keep living like this??? Oh Dad is on their side,that will never change, none of them respect you,including your husband! The children are following their Dads example! You deserve a better life unless you are Happy being used! #ivebeenthere
6 Likes
Definitely don’t wash his clothes again .Let them lay there on his floor with mud on them .You washed them and he threw them in the floor.Fuck that ! Time for long talk with hubby .Change wifi password till their doing their part .
1 Like
Girl. There disrespectful to u They Damm well know what there doin. Maybe try talking to there mother see what’s goin on. I don’t want to hear kids bein kids bullshit There just Brats and the Husband is a problem as well. Good luck but time for a change!
Yep I sure do have advice! LEAVE!! NOBODY has respect for you, especially your husband. I could say so much but please don’t let this continue to be your life. Your husband is an ass and so are his kids. He doesn’t make them listen to you and he doesn’t either.
Since no one helps I would pack a bag for a week and go stay at a hotel. Let them be surrounded by their filth. Or you could keep you bedroom and your space clean and do absolutely nothing for them. No cooking, no cleaning, no laundry NOTHING until they start helping
3 Likes
You need to get rid of that husband. Sounds to me like he’s using you for a place to live and has no regard for you in any way.
5 Likes
Ur husband is allowing them to do this, so if ultimately his fault for not controlling his kids, I have kids of my own my husband has kids of his own and we have kids together. They all get disciplined and we have cameras as well bc they lie about everything when something goes down. We have an agreement that we r both allowed to discipline all of them no matter if the other is there or not. I feel like that’s some ppls issue is they feel that the “step parent” has no say and in my point of view that’s wrong, a parent is a parent step or bio, respect needs to be there. I think u need to work this out with ur husband. I know they r old enough to know better but dad is allowing us so he’s the primary problem
4 Likes
Trow them all out and move on with your life
2 Likes
You might have to be the evil step mother. Which they don’t have to like you but they better be respectful. And if dad doesn’t care if they don’t respect you, then he’s not respecting you either. Give them only what you want them to use. One pair of clothes,socks, and underwear. One cup, plate and bowl. Stay on them about picking up after themselves. If dad doesn’t like how you deal with the problem then he needs to step up and help solve the problems
3 Likes
It’s time to either split and find someone that’s not gonna treat u like a maid or disrespect u…kids learn what they see if their father is doing it they will to…I have two kids of my own and two step kids but we don’t use the step part in our house we r one big blended family…but I had the issue with the youngest which is my fiancés daughter for some time and he would baby her so she new she could get away with it finally I had enough of being disrespected by her cuz all she had to do is run to daddy didn’t matter what I said…I finally put my foot down would do things for the other three kids stopped with her n he noticed he got mad finally I just snapped cuz I got sick of being nice laid it all out for him told him I’d leave if it continued n if he didn’t start treating all 4 kids the same…didn’t change completely it took the oldest boy technically his son to have my back n get mad at him wen we got into it about her for him to realize…now for the most part everything is good and has changed once in awhile he still babies her but I put the foot right back down n that’s the end of it I stood my ground refused to be walked all over n didn’t budge n I still don’t…and honestly things have been so much better considering they all know mommas not gonna take no shit!! So stand ur ground stop bending over for them wen u get no respect…if they wanna treat ur stuff that way it may sound childish but do the same to theirs…or at least act like u did n hide it for awhile they wanna let stuff lay n not clean up take it tell them they will get it back once they realize ur done and they respect u and ur home…put the garbage in their bedrooms see how they like it sometimes u have to sink to their level n show them u can b just as bad and it will stop wen they show u respect and help pick up cuz there’s no reason for it!!! But I’d definitely b having a chat from ur husband cuz guaranteed that’s where most of the issue lies they r seeing how he treats u so they think it’s perfectly fine…good luck!
Get rid of the entire situation.
6 Likes
Tell them all to get out…u don’t deserve the disrespect
5 Likes
You and hubby need to have a heart to heart . these kids are old enough to know exactly what they are doing . and your hubby has eyes as well . sounds to me they either get with the program or get shipped out .
Just leave an unfortunate situation.
1 Like
I set up cameras and worked on co-parenting with their bio mom. They had check lists of expectations before they were allowed rewards. I would send bio mom the videos and we would discuss the behavior all together when we took them back so they were punished both places until they acted right with me. She would sneak and show up unannounced and they would lose their minds and hurry to clean up and be respectful. If their dad won’t be a united front (maybe because he’s afraid to that they won’t want to come) then if possible try to work with their mom.
11 Likes
It’s the husband that needs a change. He doesn’t respect you the kids won’t either
10 Likes
Uggghhh drop all of them nothing but bad baggage 
It sounds to me like the husband and the kids don’t respect you and it doesn’t matter what you say it’s not going to change. If it was me I would lock my stuff up and leave while they’re there go stay somewhere else so when you’re not there cooking cleaning they might appreciate you a little bit more
1 Like
The husband should want them to respect you… So maybe he needs to go imo. It would suck but better now then later. Waste more time with disrespectful people
I’m confused, if they are your husbands step kids wouldn’t that make them your biological kids?
2 Likes
Set the rules write it down on a board and pin it somewhere- stop cleaning up after them if your husband doesn’t like it - let him do it! Have a family meeting before summer break starts - I would never put up with this!!!
1 Like
Get a divorce, not only does the kids have no respect for you but neither does the husband. If he wont back you then there is no trust. File for a divorce, keep the house, your vehicle the side by side, and anything else and let him take his clothes and his vehicle. If you have a mortgage, make it where he has to pay half. Have it where he has to pay for the repairs or replacement of your 4 wheeler, and to have someone come and do the repairs to the house that his kids created… good luck.
4 Likes
You seriously need to set some boundaries and expectations.
Can you say, DIVORCE, he obviously has no respect for you woman!!!..
3 Likes
Teach them to do their wash.
If your husband doesn’t want to tave the resposibility over that and protect you, then just leave. He’s clearly not taking care of you nor the kids at all and doesn’t care enough. You’d be better off. If you don’t want to leave the man, just tell him the kids can’t come in anymore. Sorry I don’t have better ideas but if the kids don’t listen to you at all and you just feel sad for coming home and never know what’s been broken again… it sounds like it’s not worth it. Sorry for you.
1 Like
He gets mad at you if the house isn’t clean when you leave, yet refuses to hold those who destroy it accountable and actively makes excuses for them while still expecting YOU to fix it.
If he as their DAD refuses to help— baby, we can’t either.
That’s more telling about how he feels about you than anything else, IMO.
They were 2 and 7 when you got together. Was there no relationship built and established over the last 9 years? Has it gradually gotten worse?
This is learned, tolerated and therefore encouraged behavior.
3 Likes
It’s time to call a family meeting with everyone. That means mom, step dad if she is remarried, dad, you, and all kids to talk about it to set boundaries and/or punishment. Wishing you the best!
3 Likes
The problem is not those kids. It’s their father. It sounds like all three don’t respect you or the home. As an outsider that does not know the family dynamic I can tell you what to do to fix the situation but take inventory and if you feel that you’ve done all you can then you know the answer.
2 Likes
That’s fucked up. Tell your husband to get his and his kids shit together. I’m sorry your going thru this. It horrible people would treat some who provides for them like that.
you and house key walk out
Divorce. He doesn’t respect you they certainly won’t ever.
3 Likes
call the police also
They don’t do it at their moms house cuz she will bust their asses. Your husband needs to step up and get control of his animals. If he can’t then you need to leave him. Clearly he doesn’t have the same morals and respect that you do.
Leave the husband clean after them for 3 days . Do nothing . Tell him he can take care of his kids .
1 Like
Change the locks, clean your house and enjoy. I would stop doing anything for the “husband”. He can take care of himself and his kids.
4 Likes
There is not respect at all what so ever
2 Likes
I say find a new place and leave them the mess. You deserve better and your husband not helping forget him you don’t need the stress
3 Likes
Dad is the number 1 problem. Not going to change.
4 Likes
tell your husband and praythat he hears you
You have a husband problem.
7 Likes
Just leave the mess, before you leave for work, after you have cleaned the house, take pictures of the CLEAN house with date stamp and time, then when you come home, take more pictures and then say see what they do? It isn’t fair to me that you let them come into OUR home and disrespect not only me but you too by not taking care of stuff. Maybe that will wake him up. Let him know it isn’t just about you but him also. Good Luck
7 Likes
If husband can’t make his kids mind and respect you kick his ass out
Sounds very familiar! Lol
Baby you aren’t a maid and although you signed up to be a mom to them you didn’t sign up for disrespect and it sounds like its coming from both sides… that boy needs a whipping from his daddy… daddy can’t be friends with the kids and a daddy too… we aren’t meant to be their friends we are meant to raise respectful, decent, smart, adults, whom can function and survive on their own. He needs to step up or you need to step out baby cause that don’t fly at all… if you are Christians bring up the umbrella of things… God, husband, wife, and then kids…
4 Likes
I would just walk away
2 Likes
I’d hit the road jack and not look back no more no more no more .Move on dear you’ll never change them. Their disrespect for you is unbelievable! You deserve better!
2 Likes
Leave for a few days perhaps he will get it.
2 Likes
Kick the husband and the kids to the curb. His children see how he treats you and they do the same
8 Likes
Girl FUCK THOSE KIDS🤷🏽♀️
They ain’t toddlers… they can pick up after themselves. Stop cleaning their mess and doing their laundry. Let their dad do that & see how he likes it.
Go to work, come home and go chill in your room and enjoy some alone time while they’re there. … don’t even cook for those ungrateful kids! It’s been nine years, if they still can’t respect you… fuck em😊
Take a trip make husband see what it’s like when you’re not around to deal with the teenagers because they aren’t kids anymore. At this point most families would be talking to the 16y/o about getting a part time job to learn how to be an adult because ain’t no job out there that doesn’t involve cleaning up after yourself or someone else. Or you could start locking stuff down like lock up things you know they want but don’t take care of and make them work for it. If the husband has a problem with your parenting style then it’s time to tell him to step up, shut up, or leave because he isn’t respecting your feelings.
Your husband isn’t being a husband to you or father to them in my opinion. A real father makes sure his kids respect his wife and their home. Both kids are ikd enough for responsibilities. Dad needs to be a man and back you on rules. Don’t leave keys to your atvs anymore. Or just have a cop pull kid over when he’s driving it. Maybe dad will realize u have rules for a reason.
3 Likes
Take all the chip bags and sodas lock them away till they can be responsible snd throw it away and act civilized
I think that would be enough for me to end that relationship, that’s unfair to you and you’ve been trying to be reasonable. Ungrateful disrespectful children, can’t stand them.
4 Likes
I say lock it away so they can’t just get what they want they need to ask and when they ask say… ok sit at the table with your snacks snd then throw them away and you can have more if not no snacks only 
dinner then. I’ve gone thru this similar situation it’s very very hard being the step parent because they have no respect maybe because the parents have none either they should sit the kids down and tell them to respect you ect even the mom . Because the disrespect stems from what they hear obviously. Take control snd show them who is boss . Put the snacks on lock down it sounds mean but they will conform or don’t get any
2 Likes
Pack your stuff and run
3 Likes
Get rid of him and the kids. He will never change or his kids. They act like that at your house because their father doesn’t care but if they acted like that at moms she would kick their ass.
5 Likes
" How to make these kids be less a…ho… " LADY, you’ve got to realize YOUR HUSBAND IS AN AS…H… !!! HE is the reason they behave that way !!!
HE sets a terrible example because HE DOES NOT RESPECT Y O U !!! IF you can’t see that then you have a bigger problem. There’s NO way I would be with a man like that. What a lousy Dad… he probably wants to be their friend. You should leave and aim higher girl !!!
8 Likes
I have 2 step kids 7 and 10. Boy and a girl. Every other weekend is when we have them. I had some of the same issues. Husband felt bad if kids didn’t have fun since we only get them at those times. Not long after we got together and he saw that I like to keep a clean home and that I’m not a maid, he also has them pick up after themselves,make their beds and so on. It also includes picking up after themselves when they are done eating. They need boundaries and responsibilities like everyone else. If not, it will only get worse. Try going on strike, not picking up after anyone but yourself, doing your own laundry and so on. It will be very hard, I know, I have OCD amd Anxiety issues. If that doesn’t work, I don’t know. I feel for you. It’s hard and terrible to live lile that.
2 Likes
If you can’t leave them… because there is no respect for you there. I would be taking their prized possessions for everything they broke or destroyed. I wouldn’t buy the snacks and extras that are not denying them nutrition until they figure it out. You don’t sound militant … but I think you need to go all mommy dearest on them and make them realize your not taking it anymore. Take all their extras away in their rooms because that stuff is EARNED with respect for you, your property and their property … so say bye to tv, phones, dirt bikes, game stations. Books is all they would have. I feel for you!
1 Like
You be the one to discipline them if he don’t like it tell them all to get out I know you probably love your husband but if he ain’t helping then he just part of the problem too that’s just my opinion take it or leave it
2 Likes
I’ve heard the same advice that Hope gave. It’s your house, tell him pack his bags, kids and move back to their mama.
2 Likes
First of all, he does not respect you or those kids would never set foot in your house again. If my husband’s kids ever looked at me wrong, he would throttle them. They are nice kids, so I never had to worry about it. It sounds like your husband is more afraid of having the kids mad at him than losing you. You have put up with this, so why should they stop their bad behavior. Something has to give here or they will put you in an early grave.
3 Likes
It all comes down to respect. The father has none for you and has taught the children not to respect you. From where I’m standing it appears that he needed a babysitter and you applied and got the job. You have two choices. . . Stay or Go. I would go, but if you choose to stay you might make some changes:
1- Any trash they leave out will be put in their bed.
2- If they do not clean the kitchen you will not cook.
3- They will be responsible for washing their own clothes.
4- “loose” the keys to all outside toys until they show serious behavior change.
This is their home too and they should be appreciative and help take care of it. If your husband doesn’t agree then you truly are there as the maid with benefits❗️
Have a sit down with them plus hubby and if mom is interested let her to it might help having her there too. And most likely reason they acting the way they are because they would wish dad and mom be a couple again. I could be wrong.
1 Like
First fix your man or get rid of him, he is disrespectful to you and he’s teaching his kids to be the same way. His kids and him need rules and consequences. Stop it now or live with it the rest of your life!
5 Likes
Your husband sounds like a pos. Sounds like he’s just keeping you around to be a maid to his kids. I’d dump his ass. The problem is him not so much the kids
First take the keys to the side by side and the 4 wheeler away. If your husband won’t do anything to straighten them out, then you’d better straighten him out. Make your mind up what the consequences will be and follow through with it. He’s letting his step children ruin his life with his current family. I’d say he doesn’t really give a crap.
7 Likes
take keys and set up nanny cams then have family movie night show your proof…and threaten to post on there FB, snap chat, what ever it is…
8 Likes
If your hubby wont get his arse in vear and respect you then his kiddies certainly arent theyll keep thinking they can mug you off day in day out.you need get him on board or shipped out i think.sorry to say that .hope you find a good solution x
Walk away from all three move out… if you own the home throw them all out get a lawyer obviously the father (husband) doesn’t respect you…. Bottom line
9 Likes
I can relate momma! My boyfriend/ baby daddy had 3 kids before we got together that are now 10,8 and 6, there mom NEVER CLEANED a day in her life when I met them, house looked like it had 20 people living in it, smelled terrible and the kids never knew what cleaning up after themselves meant till I came into their lives, breaking my things, bringing in piles of mud into the house, breaking house hold things, there’s absolutely no respect and I have to make them clean 3 times a day at least just so they don’t make it too bad and I don’t let them stop unless it’s perfect, cause who else is gonna teach them self respect ? Their moms house is disgusting doesn’t mean my house is gonna be disrespected when they come over, they get things taken if the house gets super bad, or don’t get anything they want for the rest of the day.
Leave this situation, you might love him but he is being a disrespectful douchebag and his children are following in his footsteps. That or start putting locks on things. Lock up the garage when they’re there and you’re gone. No one likes it, too f-king bad. Tell them they can start doing their own laundry. They don’t have clean clothes then that’s on them. Either bail on this whole relationship or start becoming a drill sergeant. I have 2 step kids that try this same shit. You have to treat the husband like the children and tell him to man the fck up or get the fck out.
Is there more to the story? Have they been this way for the whole 9 years? After 9 years, it’s going to be hard to try to enforce rules now. If it’s suddenly a problem, what has changed in your/ their lives?
2 Likes
If your husband doesn’t respect you then his kids most definitely will not.
6 Likes
Ban them from your house till they show respect simple as
4 Likes
Need to get these little slobs in check…for sure take the keys to work with you…enough is enough
4 Likes
Talk to your husband tell him it has to stop or your walking
6 Likes
and this is one of the many reasons not to marry someone who has kids, You had to know just how they were before you married him, since you were together for 6 yrs before you got married, And I am sure they haven’t change for the better, So again you had to know this before you said ‘I do’
6 Likes
Take away the things they like until they help you out.
2 Likes
If they’re able to keep moms place clean then they’re able to keep your home clean. It starts with respect they do not respect your authority. You need to have a family sit down with both of their parents present. You tell them how your feeling and that all you want or need from the children and their father is respect. They need to learn your no means no too. Your need for a clean home is right and they need to do as they’re told without an argument. If they can’t or will not change then tell them to leave your home. Its your life too, live it and do not beg for their respect or love.
3 Likes