I understand limit on drinks after 7, But let him drink water. Kids wake up thirsty during the night. My son is 7 & drinks 2-3 bottles at night, Mostly when the weather is warm/hot. You can go to almost any store and buy plastic mattress covers that way the mattress does not get wet at all. Just the sheets. Also when my son was like 2-3 a neighbor in my apartment complex gave me plastic underwear cover that i could put on my son in the pool when we went swimming. Not sure what they are called but if i find or think of the name of them i will come back on this post and let u know. My sisters uncle peed the bed until he was 14 & his parents got him on medicine or something not sure but he stopped soon after.
Please have your son checked. He could be a diabetic, or a small bladder. Something isn’t right and you need to get it check out. Diabetes runs in my family so he could a diabetic or a very heavy sleeper who can’t wake up. Have him checked asap
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That’s his son. He can take him to the same dr and wont need a card. They have his info. Sounds like an excuse not to deal with it. Also why is a 9 and 10 year old sharing the same bed. That’s when puberty kicks in and privacy is needed.
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I know several people who were 12 & had this issue. They were healthy & grew out of it.
My step son was about 14 when he finally stopped. I tried everything, even waking him up in the middle of the night, we discussed getting a alarm that would wake him but honestly that wouldn’t work. We figured out he just slept so hard he couldn’t wake himself up. Some kids just dont grow out of it like others do. There are 10yrs between him and his sister and stopped peeing before he did. I know it’s frustrating but it’s his body that can’t wake up
He needs to go to a pediatric urologist asap. My son had. Issues when he was 6 and there can be irreparable damage. I cant explain the whole thing but it has to do with he is actually holding in his pee too long and its messing with the elasticity of his bladder. He needs to go be seen.
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I wish you luck i am not sure if it’s a medical, mental or emotional thing bit if I was t h e bots father i would take him. My son has never wet the bed. I am not sure about anyone else but me and my son’s father are still together happily married and he also has an older sister. So I would take him to see a doctor. So you and your husband can have a piece of mind. And maybe the doc can give you some ideas of things to try
Your husband needs to make the appointment and just do it and not tell her about it until it’s done and over with. Some time is best ask forgiveness than ask for permission to do it
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My step son is 10 we have him full time for about 2 years now but when he was living with his mom and even now he has the same problem for a few days afterwards but his is because of stress at his moms but we have been able to slow it down with him staying with us. I would look as stresses to because that could be part of it to. His moms is a huge bit of stress for him
His mother is right, this is absolutely normal. His doctor said he’s fine… my stepson just stopped wetting the bed a few months ago and he is 12. I get that it can be frustrating, as well as exhausting, but don’t think for a second it isn’t “normal”. I’ve had several other friends who also had kids with the same exact “problem”.
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I think the dad should step in and take him regardless of what his mother said. Obviously she’s not doing anything about it. And that is not normal.
Just get his dad to take him. Regardless of what the mum says. His dad has a eight to take him to the doctors n find out more about why it’s happening.
He needs to see a Nephrologist. My daughter had this issue. Not as old as your step-son. But we found she had an underlying issue. Was put on medication for a few months and it helped.
I was told by the doctor boys can pee the bed until 10 years old. The amount though is interesting. I’d take him in. His insurance should be in file. Or you can be sneaky and take him in for a different reason like a mole or cough and ask while you’re there. Ultimately it’s up to your husband and ex.
Huge sign of trauma.
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Until the age of 7 is considered normal
My brother still wet the bed when he turned 18 and moved out. Every morning until then, he had to strip his bed, put sheets in the washer, and take a shower. His wife says he doesn’t wet the bed now. 
That same thing happened to me when I was young and still around his age I ended up needing to get surgery to stretch the bladder because my bladder wasn’t growing with my body. They fixed it and never had problems after that. And I’m sure he feels embarrassed by it need to assure him it’s OK and not his fault and tell him you guys will try to help him get this figured out.
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Maybe his bladder is underdeveloped. My cousin was like that till 13 years old . Do t make him feel bad for something he cant control .
There could also be other very serious issues … is there abuse at the moms house ? Maybe hes scared to leave the bedroom
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At least one kid in each part of my family has gone through this. They all eventually outgrew it. My brother did that until he was 12. Something about his bladder not growing the same as his body at the time. Be patient.
How sad. I’m sure you’ve tried so many things. I had a friend who had her 8 yr old son 's doctor to have him strip the bed, wash and dry the sheets and ake his own bed. One reason and the main one ,was to keep him from being embarrassed ands much, and it made him more aware that he tried harder to wake up. It helped tremendously. He had stopped, or rarely wet the bed gain. God luck.
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He really should be seen by a urologist … my oldest son had that problem too. The Pedestrian gave us pills, he would lay on the floor and scream in pain saying that they made his stomach hurt. She gave us a nasal spray, same deal, his stomach hurt. She gave us an alarm for him to wear, but he would yank the cords off his pants to disconnect it & go right back to sleep. She finally referred us to a urologist & another Dr. for a sleep study. Between his sleep apnea and the urologist they said he wasn’t emptying his bowels completely which was putting pressure on his bladder when he went down, a daily dose of Metamucil cleared the bedwetting problem right up !!
Good luck!!
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You’re doing more harm by waking him up on the middle of the night and ruining his sleep. Mom already discussed this the pediatrician and was assured everything is ok. Use bed protectors, diapers, etc but stop making him feel worse about it then he already does. Be supportive. I am sure he doesn’t want to wet the bed, just as much, if not MORE than you don’t. Do some research, be compassionate and stop making it all about you.
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I don’t have much advice on peeing the bed…
You can get full mattress cover…plastic that zips up…and wipes clean so you don’t have to try and wash mattress…
Soaker pads can be bought in large size…
So you have mattress, plastic full cover, soaker pad, fitted sheet, soaker pad… depends…and also you can buy pads for men that fit into depends brief…I know this because I work home support…lot of older men and women have this problem…one even used large towel over top of soaker pad so if wets in the night towel cam be taken off and he still has dry bed…
I’ve heard of alarm pads for kids…so when he starts to per alarm goes off…
One other reason I heard of kids peeing is they are not getting enough water…sounds weird but bladder doesn’t empty all the way and more liquid actually helps you empty fully…at this point can’t hurt to try
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Get him checked for diabetes. This is about the age type 1 will be diagnosed and bed wetting is a big symptom
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They also have bed covers that protect your matress in the meantime.
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Take him to a chiropractor, I was the same way when I was that age. The only thing that helped was regular chiropractic care.
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The parent holding insurance has to provide duplicate cards to the other parent.
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Just have your husband make an appointment and see his pediatrician. It’s already been discussed with his mother. He’s the father and can take his child to the doctor
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He needs blood work for type 1 diabetes. And proof of it. Not just the mother saying “everything is fine.”
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Hars to say why he is doing it. Maybe cut his liquid off by 6pm and watch what he is drinking through out the day. If his doctor says it’s fine then not much you can say or do. Maybe follow up and see if this has been bought up at the doctors? If so leave it alone. If not and mom isnt taking him then maybe its time for dad to show how many times he has tried to get medical help for his son and mom blocks it. But again it’s really between mom, dad and doctor. Maybe he is doing this due to new baby and wants attention? Maybe a bladder issue? Let mom and dad deal with it. Have him clean up his own dirty clothes and bedding. Have him learn to wash down mattress. Get a plastic sheet for it. Then get a cloth liner. That should help add protection to ded.
My younger son did as well. And as matter of fact his dr daughter did the same thing. It how hard they sleep and how they are not waking to the brain signal telling them I have to go.
I was frustrated as well and didn’t understand. First a lot of times it is also hereditary. But long story short he quit over night but he was 13 nearly 14. The dr said her daughter used a bed alarm. There is an alarm that has a small sensor that attaches to underwear. Good luck I know it’s frustrating but he will stop.
I would take him and have the doctor send her the bill or they can submit it to insurance. Your husband has every right to take him!
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Why don’t you and your husband make an appointment with the dr and you take him? Why leave it up to the mother as if you 2 dont have any say in the matter?
Don’t push that. This happens to a lot of kids. I was a bed wetter for a long time. The more stress and embarrassment I recieved for it, the worse it got. Being taken to dr after dr because my parent just thought something was wrong with me. Don’t do that to him. If his mother has already taken him and she’s sure he’ll grow out of it, leave it alone. Get a plastic covering for mattress. Make sure you have a few sets of sheets for easy clean up. No big deal.
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My son had this. Urologist said he had immature bladder. Can’t remember the medication.
Pro has an anxiety issue or stress he needs to see a mental health doc something else is pro going on! 
sometimes that can be a sign of abuse 
Could be many reasons behind that from a UTI to molestation to abandonment issues down to stress and even just because. Many routes help including chiropractic care, counseling, etc. They have underwear that tends to soak up pee better and pads that cover the whole bed to save the mattress. I would say take him for a dr visit and then try a chiropractor if all else is done then just keep with what you are doing with limiting drinks and constant bathroom reminders as I know it’s frustrating.
I’d be worried about him being diabetic, I’d make an appt myself and take him in.
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Chiropracter can work also kids that have allergies have a hard time falling asleep once they do they are in such a deep sleep nothing wakes them up
Send the kid for the weekend to the Mom and have her have to clean all the sheets etc…she might then realize it’s not right.
It’s no bother to her. She doesn’t have to clean it up
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Common enough (and often hereditary) to bedwet until shortly before puberty starts setting in. I would not be concerned if the pediatrician is confident there are no alarming medical issues contributing. Once puberty begins, if the wetting still persists, I would schedule a urology appointment. We went through it and though exhausting, it usually resolves on its own.
My brother wet the bed until he was 18 & I did until I was 14, with both of us we were completely potty trained then it just started happening, we went to the dr & they said same thing that we would grow out of it & we did.
My daughter started doing it & I took her to the doc & she ran tests on her which all came back fine; sent her to a therapist & the therapist said she doesn’t need therapy. So their conclusion is she’ll grow out of it.
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I know a person that at 33 years of age still wets the bed. He has had different treatments and nothing worked. He sleeps with a diaper, is married and lives a normal life
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My step son did it until high school… 14/15
He can take his son to the doctor whenever he wants too!
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Waterproof plastic matress cover makes it easier to clean and keeps the matress from getting ruined.
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Boys bladder don’t mature has fast. This was the case for my step son.
Umm the cutest ever!!! You guys got this!
To make him wash his bedclothes when he pees is humiliating him & I’m sure he is already embarrassed. He can’t help it & It May very well be physical & need an appointment with a urologist. It may also
be physiological & he would need therapy. Please don’t make him feel bad. His Dad needs to step in & take him to the Dr.
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This happened with my son, his pediatrician made sure we understood it’s completely normal for some kids and not to shame him!!
He eventually grew out of it
I would get another opinion from a urologist. He is the professional and could maybe help.
Hate to say it, have your husband take him to the doctor and get his sugar levels tested. My daughter was wetting the bed constantly and I brought her in the dr and they tested her sugar levels. She is a type 1 diabetic
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I peed the bed until i was 11 years old, i went thru alot as a a child so thay would explain my issues. He could pee the bed for many of reasons…
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It’s shouldn’t be happening at that age when your body gets sleepy it’s supposed to slow urine production unless their something causing it like a problem in their pituitary gland
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Didn’t the pediatrician already say this is normal and he will grow out of it? I can say from experience this happens to kids and they will grow out of it.
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It happens and is completely normal. If you guys want to take him to the specialist do it. No harm in a second opinion especially if it puts your guy’s mind at rest. I would just have him assist in the cleaning up off all of it as any person should always help clean up their own messes but don’t shame him. It’s all part of parenting
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Get a good mattress pad pee proof , get diaper inserts and use with diapers for extra, in a mice way show him how to help clean his bed and look up this issue on google for ideas . It might be diabetic ck that out on line to see if he fits the signs .
His dad has all right to go to doctor with him and mother so they all should go .
This is one of the earliest and most common symptoms of juvenile diabetes. Dad needs to stop waiting on mom, and take his son to the doctor and actively seek a medical explanation instead of humiliating him with wearing diapers.
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This is not normal. He needs to see a pediatric urology specialist. My daughter had bladder issues until she was 9½, but she did, fortunately, outgrow it. But hers wasnt as frequent as this. Also, cut out as much artificial food coloring (especially red) as possible, cut down on dairy 3 hrs before bed time, and see if he could be constipated. Constipation can cause this to be a worsening issue. Miralax daily works miracles. Good luck.
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I just read something about a bed wetting alarm. Dry easy bed wetting alarm on Amazon. Never used it but great reviews
Some children especially boys are born having bladders that are very strong in the sense that do not have the elasticity that is needed so. When not quite full it just pushes the urine out. Common in boys. They do as the Dr. Told his mother outgrow it. It does help to limit fluid intake close to bed time. Getting him up to change his pants once a night and use the bathroom helps also. It is very embarrassing so be discreet he can’t help it.
We were concerned about this with our 7 year old daughter who still wets the bed and we asked our pediatrician. She told us that some kids don’t make a hormone that tells them to go the the bathroom at night until between the ages of 8 and 12.
You have a 9 year old son together and have been together for 3 years???
Maybe your stepson has something emotionally wrong with him, having problems with something ??
I’d get it checked out !
I know this is upsetting on the child as it is the parents,but sometimes stress can make a child wet the bed,its not there fault.if not stress its possible he might be sleeping to sound to know he’s got to go until it’s to late.just a thought.
My brother did up until the age of 13 and grew out of it… he tried everything the sheet that had an alarm that woke him up, the nasal spray etc NOTHING and I mean nothing worked mum even had his at specialist. Best thing to do is invest in a really good quality waterproof and let him grow out of it. Don’t shame him at all as it’s not his fault whatsoever.
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So one of my kids still has accidents (close to this age) and yes we would wake up at night as well. I was tired of doing laundry and because cautious about where he sleeps. We’ve talked with peds and urologist. IT IS NORMAL through 13 and its normal at that age because of puberty.
It sucks i get it. Your husband should have the right to and should go speak with the dr anyways just for reassurance but it is normal. He could even schedule a consult with out his son and mother can’t say no because unless legal rights (not to be confused with decision making or visitation) has been taken, he has rights to his child’s medical files.
HOWEVER there can be underlying issues that need to be looked for before declaring its normal, like diabetes, kidney size and functions, bladder related issues, etc. So make she dr is doing blood and evals before concluding it’s nothing
If you want to break the cycle or try, get a bedwetting alarm. 10 seems old but it is acceptable
Just make the damn appointment
Schedule a meeting in family court, have your attorney/caseworker bring up the bed wetting and that your husband feels he needs to see a specialist but his ex wife refuses to take him and see what the courts say…
7pm is very late to stop liquids I would stop at 5pm to start with then get his sugars checked asap then maybe see a councillor as it could be night terrors
Native Remedies Be-Dry Tablets - Natural Homeopathic Formula Reduces Bedwetting and Nervousness in Children - Promotes Bladder Health - 180 Tablets https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B000TMT7W6/ref=cm_sw_r_em_apa_i_Wcz8EbEZ2K9RP
I know some moms swear by these.
Or an alarm clock that vibrates in the middle of the night to go off under the pillow, a couple of times a night to start training his mind to wake up at night.
Dad and you want what is best for him and probably could get a second opinion. You do have a right to call his doctor even and get a consultation on what is happening to your kid.
You’re part of the coparenting, you love the kid as he is your own, so ask yourself what you feel would be the right way to proceed.
Trust your gut.
It could be normal but it could also be blown off as being a significant issue.
I would take the diapers off, it is like potty training sometimes it can cause bad habits. Invest in a good pee protection over the sheets and encourage the good habits, how to tidy up anything that happens, have him set out a spare sheet set, blanket and pillow the night before, just incase. It is normal and honestly can be embarrassing for him. He probably has anxiety about possibly doing sleep overs or just someone… spilling the tea to the wrong person and people gossip about it.
best of luck and your concerns are normal and being a bonus mom isn’t always text book.
I had kidney surgery in second grade for reflux. I wet the bed all the time because I couldn’t feel when I had to pee. (Also got UTIs all the time from holding it too long because I couldn’t feel the urge)
Even now I can feel the urge to go but I’m able to ignore it (if I’m busy)to the point that I forget I needed to go and I don’t remember until my stomach hurts Because I need to go.
There are tons of things that could be the problem. Get. That. Baby. To. The. doctor.
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Constipation could be a contributing factor
Stress and anxiety can cause children to wet the bed. Maybe try putting him in therapy so he has someone to talk to outside of the family and put a waterproof cover on the mattress. They have them at Walmart in the mattress pad section.
Your husband is still the boy’s father. Unless it is stated in the custody agreement that she is the only one with medical rights (which is unlikely unless there was some CPS involvement at some point, he has the right to take his son to the doctor. If insurance is the issue, make the appointment with his regular pediatrician. They’ll have his insurance on file.
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I know someone that did this until they were 12 there was nothing wrong with them just sleept to hard he out grew it so there maybe nothing wrong with your stepson if you want a 2nd opinion then his father needs to get the medical card from the mom and take him
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Wetting the bed is not the worry, its the amount hes urinating. You dont want to not do anything and it ends up being something serious. My daughter had an operation when she was 10 because she couldnt hold her urine. He needs a urologist. If it turns out hes ok then you can breathe a sigh of relief.
My 10 year old has this issue he cant produce enough of the hormone vassopressin it helps control the amount of urine produced at night to stop bed wetting. Hes starting a medication called desopressin and getting a sleep alarm. Definitely talk to your doctor and they can refer to a clinic. Best of luck xxx
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Yes it is a pain in the ass. But it is also common. Doesnt mean there is anything wrong with him.
My brother wet the bed until 12 or 13 i believe. My mom kept taking him to the doctor but they said it was common and he would grow out of it, which he did.
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Completely normal my almost 11 yr old still wets the bed It happens. The insurance will cover pull ups and bed pads
My son did the same when he was younger. The doctor explained it to me like this: Your brain is on the 3rd floor and his kidneys/bladder isin the basement and they are not connecting. The father needs to take him to a urologist like you suggested. I hopehe gets help and gets better.
It is not completely normal for a child to wet the bed… Yes, there are a lot more children than you think that do it but it also isn’t always ‘just because’ … There could be many reasons it’s happening and he needs to see a doctor ASAP to try and get to the bottom of things xx
Um just take the kid to the dr. The mother doesn’t need to know if he goes when he is at his dads house.
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Get your husband to take him to the doctors and get a urine test.
So what’s the delay in dad making the appointment?? Is the childs mother preventing you guys from making a phone call?? Why wait for the mom to call the doctor?
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Also dyslexia causes bed wetting
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Is this something new that’s happening? A major sign for type 1 diabetes is bed wetting. I think you should get a second opinion at a different office just to be safe.
I was the same way when I was his age. Some of my kids were too. If you’re worried, take him to the doctor yourself. His dad doesn’t need to have permission from his mother. Just take him. If you don’t have his insurance card, give them the name. If you don’t know it, put him on the insurance you have.
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mom is hiding something. maybe you should be checking out who’s around him at moms.
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Definitely seems like an underlying issue. You and dad Just book the appointment and take him, the mother doesn’t sound like she cares, id document it with child services as well just incase there is something else going on a mother’s house. You sound like a better mother to this kid that the woman that birthed him. He’s probably really embarrassed by it he obviously needs help.
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Don’t let him drink anything up to two hours before bed
My bomus daughter and son both did til they were 11 or 12…my nephew did til he was like 14 and drs said its ok. They finally did give my nephew something and he finally stopped but i dont remember what. But not til he was like 14.
My son had the same problem up until last year at 8 years old. I had to set an alarm for every four hours to wake him and take him to the bathroom. Three months in he was getting up on his own and going. He’s a super hard sleeper, though. Just an idea!
I peed my bed until like 10 also. According to my mother I was potty trained before 2 years old and everything was fine. Then my sister was born when I was 3 and I started to pee the bed at night. She did everything and nothing worked. One day my mom quit her job without telling anyone and that night was the first night I never peed my bed again. Some people said it was an emotional thing. But it just stopped out of nowhere.
Just take him to the doctors there could be many things causing it better be safe them sorry
Have his sugar checked immediately. I have a type 1 diabetic child and this is a symptom. I would get him in to the dr fast. It was the worse night of my husband and my life.
Just take him to the doctor, if the mother has insurance on him, can you just add him to yours as well? Or save up for the appointment to be seen? That’s a lot and considering you’re also waking him up to go as well, he needs to see a doctor.
It doesn’t matter that the mother says he’s fine, he needs to see a doctor to rule out anything medical. Then move on to maybe a psychological problem? I wouldn’t mention that you’re looking into possible problems though, in case it turns out to be something she’s hiding.
He needs help and I can’t imagine it would be nice for him never being able to go sleepovers and things like that, so it’s for HIS best interest, not his mother…
I had 2 brothers who wet the bed…one was almost an adult. They were taken to doctors, woke up during the night and lots of money on checking for small bladders and contraptions. Nothing worked and both were obviously embarrassed. Fortunately, they both outgrew it. Take him to the doctor as they have medicines for that, and tests they can do. The father and you should just take him and inform mom later. The boy is probably embarrased anyway.
I had the same problem until I was 12 just grew out of it my parents were great about it just made me shower every morning and put plastic on mattress good luck