I was sexually active at 13.
Some of my siblings saved it for marriage, It’s different for everyone. I think it’s better than her going behind your back. Who knows she may just want it because her friend has it not because she really desires to use it.
Edit : btw it’s really awesome that she came to you with something so sensitive that shows trust and communication
Well I was a straight hoe at 14 sooooo 
. They’re gonna get what they want somehow.
I see a lot of people saying no but this is a safer option tbh. She’s clearly interested in sex if she’s asking for toys. At least this way she can take care of it herself. It won’t get her pregnant or give her an STD.
No, i have 3 daughters 10,13,15 i cant even wrap my brain around purchasing that item
Better than having real sex and getting knocked up:woman_shrugging:t5:
Porsche 911 just the right size 
Another woman with unrealistic expectations on the way
Get the toy, have the talk make sure she knows how to clean it. Better than her sticking something up there and getting an infection.
14 is a freshman in High school,old enough for sure. Amazon has amazing toys and they deliver to your front door.
Playing devils advocate I guess maybe say yes? If she’s already expressing interest maybe this would curb her desire a little, she wouldn’t grow up feeling ashamed of the feelings that are going to start coming naturally, and it could allow her the chance to understand what she’s comfortable with. It might help her understand her body a little better in a way she controls. She seems a little young but at the same time that’s kind of how the world is going now 
good luck!
Personally I don’t see a problem. She wants to experiment and better with toys than boys, plus she will learn what pleases her and to respect her body, and grow in self confidence. Just my thought.
I would probably try keep cool and figure out why wants other than friend has one. I would sit down have a conversation with her. You might need to not freak but take precautions if she is active. Try not to overreact even though it sucks she’s only 14. It’s great she can come to you about this stuff. Good Job mama seems you have great relationship with her, most kids would go else where to talk.
I mean it’s better to experiment with a toy then a boy… but a toy would also lead to a boy… I think anyways. I’m not thinking I’d allow my daughter to have one.
Honestly I’d rather this than her going to bòys instead. Be grateful she trusted to ask you. This is a huge moment, don’t let the trust break.
She’s curious. I’d be thankful my child came to me in that manner. She could have gone to anyone else or even just got the money and bought it herself. The mother of the other child bought it because the other child probably asked about it. If you haven’t already, I’d take her to a reproduction doctor and be sure that she is aware of her body and gets proper guidance on her own body. (Not the toy) but at that age, she is way above noticing things and boys/girls making advances. I’d just do yourself a favor and be proactive in her learning about her body and choices.
Wait. Her best friends mom got her one? Or got her best friend one? Ask her if her friend jumped off a bridge if she would follow too? This whole thing is weird af lol.
she came to you! that’s the first proud moment. be glad she felt that comfortable coming to you! sit her down, explain if she wants one just because her friend has one or if she’s ready. I’d also at the same time go into birth control, and options if she’s thinking of toys she’s thinking about the real thing. and…do research with her! dont just go out and buy her a random one… if i were in your shoes, start with the external ones only.
I mean a toy is better then them out there actually having sex … it’s 2022 and there’s people out there who are actually have sec at 12-14 years old …
Yup buy her one or two different ones
If shes curious she’ll get the info she wants regardless it’s best to teach her how to be safe (cleaning it, what goes where lol) get her lubes and cleaners for it
Let her learn about her body dpnt let her grow up thinking she is a tool.for masterbation for some boy let her learn to voice what she likes and doesn’t like etc etc
Um, most 14 year olds are having sex… I would rather my kiddo come to me asking for a toy than going out and having sex. 
I was 14 my first time… Way safer.
So, let me be devil’s advocate for a second. Definitely make this a chance to have a discussion. Tell her you’re so glad and absolutely complimented that she trusted you enough to come to you and asked and you also appreciate her asking you without just sneaking and finding a way to get one herself. But, then educate her. There’s a reason adult stores are 18+. See if she’ll open up about her sexual experience thus far. Has she had sex? Oral? Etc. Why is she curious to have a toy without having sex? I’d want to know. Toys can actually hurt a Virgin and tear their Hyman, which will take their “virginity” away. Trust me. I know from experience 
definitely encourage sexual exploration of her own body. She can always use her own hand without a toy, too. I see this as an absolute beautiful learning and bonding opportunity.
Better than her having sex with strangers.
ALL I see on this thread are Mom’s doing the wrong thing and not seeking further questions and establishing trust and communication with their daughters regarding “pleasure” or “adult toys” and what have you.
She trusts you enough to even come to her in the first place, but I’m not sure she fully understands what an adult toy is. Get to the bottom of the question, and if she still wants it, and is entering that realm of hormonal changes, then yes, I would.
I bought one for my kids at that age. And they both refrained from sex at a young age. It’s a very good idea!
Good for you and her both, she feels comfortable enough to talk to you about that. Honestly I’d get her one and explain how to clean it and stuff.
I had my kid at 14, Definitely not too young
Better then her having sex
Im actually shocked by some of these comments…
Sex should be talked about…
Safety means using proper toys
Why would you not want them masterbate, would you rather have her have sex…
Please do not shame your children for having basic human nature…
This will cause so much therapy for your child…
Just a vibe or stimulator…nothing she could use for penetration. Too young for that.
Her best friends mom gave your daughter one?? 
I’d be more concerned about that.
Happy she came to you. But no, at 14. That’s not a toy you have.
marginally better than trying “the real thing” no risk of pregnancy or STD
You have a great bond with her that she was willing to come to you. You can take her shopping for sure but since most shops don’t allow anyone under 18 try Spencer’s. Just show her what they have since she’s new to it all let her see the options and explain to her all the options.
I was having sex at 14 so a toy would be on the safer side. Weigh the pros and cons. My oldest asked for condoms at 14/15 and I bought them for him because I would rather be safe than sorry
She’s getting into the age of being curious and masturbation. Let’s be realistic. It’s better to have a real talk with her than her use unsanitary things
I’d rather her experiment with self than get pregnant! Come on people it’s 2022. At least they will be very sexually aware when the time comes with a partner
I would have to think of what child protective services have to say cause your showing sexual activities at a teen in their eyes a child and your the guardian
OP, just get it for her. Be grateful she trusts you and didn’t just have someone get it for her. It’s better than her becoming a Mom at 14. And for those of you protesting, get a grip. Wanting a toy like this is so much better than fumbling around with a boy and getting pregnant. My god. Especially w the US banning abortions…yeah, be grateful she’s asking for alternatives. If she were a boy, you all would have no qualms about him doing anything to help with his hormones
 My opinion,you can either buy her a toy and let her explore or she might explore with a boy if not.she had the courage enough to come to you and ask. I mean what’s it really going to hurt? She’s going to find another way if not. 
Yes, talk to her about it more and inform her. She came to you because she trusts you, don’t push her away. She will find other ways to learn if it’s not from you. You can inform her correctly.
I’m so glad she came to you over this and that you have such a good relationship she can trust you with this. I say yes buy her one. There is nothing wrong with her exploring herself and her likes and dislikes.
She’s curious. Educate her.
At least she’s being safe and healthy instead of using any random household object like allot of us did.
I personally think it’s amazing she’s felt she can come to you for that. Shame other parents on this page would rather shame their daughters…
I was sexually actively at 14. I know you don’t want to hear it but she’s going to do what she wants to do with her body. So the fact that she came to you to express her needs is amazing to me! It’s a natural part of growing up and I wouldn’t shame her for feeling that way. Ultimately it’s up to you but honestly what difference does a toy make vs her doing it herself? Just teach her what’s appropriate and what’s not. Such as she doesn’t need to tell the world about it and it should be put up and used behind her closed bedroom doors.
Ask her if she wonts it because her friend got 1 or if she generally wonts one her self? After that I’d have a conversation with her
I was pregnant at 15, so I think it’s really awesome that she came to you for that. That would have made my life alot easier if I asked for that instead of having sex at a young age. (Although I wouldn’t trade my son for the world and I do not regret having him) That is a healthy alternative for sex AND may help prevent early pregnancy.
This would absolutely kill me. But… if she asked, she’s masturbating. If she’s masturbating, I think it’s safer to get her a toy specifically made for that. Educate her on the importance of cleaning it.
Do I think she’s a little young? Yeah. But I also think it’s gonna be incredibly embarrassing for her if you have to take her to the ER because she put something else up herself and she accidentally hurt herself.
Have them buy it themselves. Earn the money and go to Spencer’s
lol I was 13 when I discovered masturbation. in my opinion, virginity is a social construct. kids have hormones. they are curious. i’d do it but tread very lightly. specific toys aren’t meant to be used for a long time. teach her how to properly clean them too. that’s very important,
unfortunately teens are gonna find a way. I did.
You can’t be serious….wait are you?
Omg are you ppl afraid to say no to your kids your the parent be one she’s 14 for God sake you ppl are crazy
I would say fuckkk no shes to young ! But reality is your hormones around that age are going crazy , your body is changing due to puberty and kids talking about sex maybe she is curious a toy cant break her heart or get her pregnant , she already seems interested in the subject maybe get her something that doesn’t penetrate and talk to her about virginity etc make her feel like your not judging her.
Better a toy than a man
Better a toy than a man
Not too young! Be grateful she is coming to you and feels open enough to trust you with something like this. Also if she’s exploring herself with safe toys it keeps her from doing it with something unsanitary or having sex before she is truly ready. I would just suggest nothing too large and something mild that way she doesn’t desensitize herself. Do some research on toys that have more sensitive settings, for inexperienced users, etc.
Please don’t shame her for wanting to explore her sexuality. Have a private conversation with her about cleanliness and set her up from the start so she isn’t hiding it/not being clean and ends up with an infection. Explain to her that when using the toy it’s her own private time to explore and enjoy herself, no one else should be involved and if she has any questions to go to you or find resources for her that are science backed.
Better a toy then a boy
She’s 14, this is about the age where many teens are exploring their sexuality and bodies. Personally I’d buy it for her and be happy she came to me instead of going out and having potential unprotected sex with god knows who.
Real Sex or a toy that’s the question here let her learn her body without the help of someone who could take advantage. I wish growing up masterbation was more normalized because it is completely normal. I probably wouldn’t have been so focused on sex or had it so early.
Buy it- get her gift card to buy her own… toys before boys! Safer then sorry 
and she’s at the age.
I want to get on here and talk to all the mothers that are sitting here saying no about her buying a toy for her daughter. I completely understand that none of us as parents want our children to be having s3x. As a mother if my child came to me and asked if a boy could spend the night I would lose my lid. But the reality of it is that s3x is a normal thing. Remind yourself the next time you tell your teenager not to do it they are going to end up doing it and not telling you about it because guess what they know you’re going to get mad. I am floored with this old school way of thinking Knowing damn well it doesn’t work. Did you know that they have the lowest rates of teenage pregnancy in the United States now because of them talking about sexual education. You are more likely to have a pregnant teenager for denying sex and telling them not to do it and it’s a bad thing. Then being a parent talking about sexual education telling them about the repercussions of having sex whether it be pregnancy STI or STDs. Explaining not only about condoms but talking to them about birth control all types of contraceptives. Would I personally buy a toy for my kid no that makes me very uncomfortable cuz what parent and actual parent wants to think about something like that or buy something like that for their child. but I’m not going to stop my kid from doing that because the last thing I want is for them to go and get something to do it themselves and they end up getting hurt or they go to a boy to do it and not tell you because you get upset about it. Mama if your daughter is already thinking about doing stuff like this there’s a big chance that she has lost her virginity a big chance. I completely understand if you are uncomfortable buying her that I would too I wouldn’t be able to do that. But I would sit down with her and tell her that if she would like to get something of that sorts for herself she’s more than welcome to use your phone and talk to her about safe ways of masturbation so she doesn’t end up getting hurt!
First of all I think it’s great that she felt she could come to you and talk to you about it to begin with. Second, A lot of kids these days are sexually active at 11-12 years old. Whether it makes people cringe or feel uncomfortable or not, hormones are picking up at that age and masturbation is normal, it’s a fact of life .
Umm… I wouldn’t, she’s 14, have the talk with her. Buying her a toy and not buying a toy she’s still going to find way and will eventually have sex. But tbh would you rather her lose her V card to a toy or a boy.
I’m 23, I lost my virginity at 13. Wish I could have gone to my mum and asked about these things! Feel happy she’s come to you & get it for her, I’d much rather know she’s doing that (gross) then sleeping with guys. If she’s satisfied through this maybe she won’t have interest in guys for a bit longer! Also maybe enquire in some contraception now shes seeming to be old enough to be sexually active! Better safe than sorry! She’ll do it regardless tbh?
From a 56 year old mother of a 22 year old daughter- buy her one.
If my child came to me with this request, I would have them talk to the youth pastor first. But that’s just me, I’m asking to be judged on my beliefs.
Rosie Woods wow the way this world is …id rather this then the real thing
Better to know what she’s doing then not. Get her one and talk about it. Make sure she knows how to clean it, when to use it or not use it.
Wtf really …u would even consider getting her 1 ? She’s a child 4 gods sake
I would have a girl to girl talk with her. Fix some mixed drinks like a Shirley temple or grab a coffee. Just talk. Masturbation is completely normal and healthy.
I’m sorry but I would say no that is why they are called adult toys
Better than getting pregnant. My daughter is only 6, and I know if she comes to me at 14 with that kind of request it will jar me. But I’m going to do my best to remember this is better than seeking to “scratch that itch” in a situation that could leave her a single teenage mother.
My child used her electric toothbrush…They see it all on there phones…
Well it’s better a try than getting prego
Better than her having sex? A girls got needs
Shop with her. Have her gain more info about them and let her choose. There’s lots to choose from that isn’t just dildos
They sell one at Walmart Discrete and tell her this the only thing she can use until she gets out of high school no sexual partners
I’m sorry but I literally LOL!!! My daughter Kelly and I have a VERY good mother/daughter relationship now friends she’s 25… and let me tell you she NEVER asked for any toys! I did however get her condoms at 16 when she had her first boyfriend. Hey Kel what do you think? I say NO WAY!!! You??? 
Yes. Sir down with her, go over options, see what she’s looking for the toy to do and then buy it.
Id buy it, take her to get a simple one, its either that or she will more than likely have sex. I was 16 when I lost my virginity. 
There is so much negativity around sEgggg
As hard as it would be to say yes I would get her one I agree better with a toy and to explore her body then with a boy
I really hope the other mother gave her a brand new one and not one she has used 
. She can get one of those buzzy things you put on her finger that’s fine honestly I think it’s a good idea because when she gets horny she is not going to Run to get with a guy that probably doesn’t know what he is doing
I’d just get her one. Better than her having sex and possibly getting pregnant or an std?
I suggest get her on birth control. When I was her age I was sexually active with the boys.
You better teach her about safe sex. Telling her no to this will just lead her there. She’s a teen with hormones she’s going to do it some way
Everyone saying no, remember what you won’t buy someone else will sadly. Kids will find ways experiment one way or another. It’s good that her daughter came to her in the first place, if you shut her down now she may not come to you later. At least it’s a toy & not the real thing. I remember seeing a girl my freshman year of high school pregnant…
She trusts you enough to ask. That’s awesome!!! It’s 2022… I have my daughters friends asking me questions because they don’t feel comfortable asking their parents and it breaks my heart. My kids can always come to me when it comes to ANYTHING including this but this is your decision what to do and what you feel comfortable with 
Well, she may or may not do it and or get one herself with or without you, they sell them at Walmart and they don’t check your age. I would have a talk with her see if you can find common ground.
Better a toy than a boy. You can teach her safety and cleanliness with it. If you make this a big deal she ain’t gonna come to you for condoms/birth control/, if she ever got pregnant early etc.
Well I mean first off have an open conversation about it. Does she want one just because her best friend has one or is it because she is honestly curious about her body? You are her mother, be honest and let her be honest with you.
I think it’s a big deal she asked and trusted you with that. Saying yes was the right thing. Sex ans intimate things are not shameful.
Honestly I would have the talk with her about unprotected sex first but I honestly feel like she should be able to get a toy because she won’t be curious. If She’s curious then she may either try to have unprotected sex or find an unsafe way to pleasure herself and honestly I don’t think she’s entirely too young to learn about her body.
I think it’s a good idea May be a little younger than people are comfortable with but that’s when you start experimenting. I think it’s better she figure things out for herself than look to a bunch of scummy boys to entertain her curiosity.
Ouch… child no more…
But you did a great job if she’s talking to you about it.
No.1 mom you’re doing an AMAZING job for your teen to even feel comfortable to come to you with a question like that!! Hats off to you!! I say buy it. Idk if it’s all schools or just a few, but my step daughter told me they are actually teaching the 8th graders about kinks, BDSM, masterbation, and comfort zones about their own sexuality. Let her explore herself by herself. It’s better that way rather then she finds out herself from a “friend” or whatever and either has a horrible experience or gets some type of infection/disease. teach her proper health care, hygiene care, and to say no if she is absolutely not ready. And hopefully if she is ready she will come to you and hopefully you can have the courage to get her protection and education. You’re doing a wonderful job mom
Not at 14…
16 or 17 seems more appropriate age.
Congratulations on having her trust. Give her your knowledge and shop with her if she’ll let you. If she terusts you she’ll be less likely to hide things from you
I would get her something that doesn’t penetrate to start her off because she may or may not even like using them
She’s 14 and curious it’s natural… whether she has a toy or not… I’d rather my daughter have a toy and have a long educating talk with her on why toys are better option until she moves out and has a good job and a house…
I mean atleast she’s not trying to get pregnant and just talk with her maybe let her do research
Sure, but understand she will never have a normal sex life as she grows up. Dicks don’t vibrate. Same with porn, it’s hard to recoup from that. I would think it through.
I would and just have a long talk about her changes. It’s good she asked and feels comfortable talking to you. I’d rather that then my kids going and finding a boy and risk STDs/pregnancy
What the HELL is wrong with you people saying no?!?
I would rather my daughter-who is 17, by the way- using a toy in a healthy manner, than going to the local penis and getting pregnant. I will take her to the store, help her choose by educating her about her body, possible smaller size needs as a teen, have her get an appropriate toy cleaner and storage bag for cleanliness, and teach her to care for her body as the temple it is.
Whether she chooses to ever share it with anyone else or not, she is obviously curious and if she wishes to go down the path, I want her healthy and educated. Hell sakes people. Do better. Raise intelligent humans who have respect for their own bodies, both men and women, so they can all respect every gender identity out there as well. It starts with self. 