My Teen Kids Are Always — Always! — on Their Phones or Other Devices: How Can I Stop This?

Motherhood
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QUESTION:

Please help, please!!! I have three teen kids, and they don’t want to do anything but play on devices.

I am so tired of always having to yell at them every single day, day in and day out, to get them to do anything around the house. I have taken devices away, and after a while, they will do something around the house just so they can get them back, but once they get them back, it goes back to the same old thing.

I’m so tired of always having to be aggravated with them about this day in and day out. Please, no bashing. I’m hurt by this. Something has got to change."

RELATED QUESTION: Should I be concerned with what my son was looking up on his phone?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

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“Who’s the parent? Sorry, but I can’t wrap my head around my kids controlling me and running my household. Put your foot down. Be the parent. Set the rules, establish consequences, and stay consistent.”

“You can set parental controls on their phones that do time limits on apps, internet, where they can go on it, etc. You can also set timers on most routers now for devices that log in. We have Secure Teen to monitor calls, texts, etc. and I can set time parameters block apps and websites, and see texts, calls, and Lotta different social media apps that she might use.”

“Make a schedule of how much screen time they get, lead by example cut yourself off too for a certain amount of time so shut wifi completely off in the house and make them surrender electronics, tell them to do x amount of activities a day then you’ll get your device but that goes for you too momma. Monkey see monkey do no matter how old.”

“Turn the wifi off. I have an app for my kids where I’ve scheduled them to be on from 10 am until 5 pm. They don’t get them until everything in the house is done. And if they don’t do what I asked while they’re on it I can lock it from my phone. The only way to unlock it is my password or a generated passcode from the app. Which is a different code every time.”

“My kids have a check list of stuff they have to do before they get devices, including things like chores, eat something healthy, take a shower, and pretend like they like each other for 30 minutes. They lose the devices before bed every night.”

“Don’t give them back till you see consistent change. And if they revert back to old ways take them again. And then let them know this time it will be for even longer. I took my son’s Xbox one time for 6 months. Kids don’t need games those are a privilege, not a necessity.”

“I think just taking them away daily until chores are done just needs to be what is ‘the norm’ in your house. Keep it up until then just doing what is expected by you in your home becomes ‘the norm’ for them. They are old enough to know better. All these extra things aren’t part of our role to provide as parents… they are benefits that need to be earned and appreciated.”

“Have them put the devices aside until chores or whatever it is you want done is finished. I also have a set time where devices are no longer allowed after a certain time.”

“Stop giving it back to them. They don’t need their cell phone unless they are away from the house without you.”

“I put parental controls on everything. Three hours a day, they realize pretty quickly how to manage their time on them.”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

8 Likes
2

Take it from them for about 2 weeks my 10 year step daughter has a phone and does the same thing and she knows not to touch her phone til after she cleans and we tell her to

3

Stop giving it back to them. They don’t need their cell phone unless they are away from the house without you.

2 Likes
4

Make a schedule of how much screen time they get, lead by example cut yourself off too for a certain amount of time so shut wifi completely off in house and make them surrender electronics, tell them to do x amount of activities a day then youll get your device but that goes for you too momma. Monkey see monkey do no matter how old.

2 Likes
5

:raising_hand_woman:t2:
Stop giving it back
:woman_facepalming:t2:

3 Likes
6

Why keep giving it back!??! As parents our kids do what we allow them to do.

7

Have them put the devices aside until chores or whatever it is you want done is finished. I also have a set time where devices are no longer allowed after a certain time.

8

Take the chargers and watch how fast they panic, but don’t give them back. :person_shrugging:

9

Make a chore chart chores are done then the devices can be given to them

10

Pull the plug to the internet, call cell phone provider suspend services, take all chargers!

11

After chores give them the wifi password?

12

My aunt just took my cousins electronics away cold turkey :woman_shrugging: they struggled for about a week but eventually got over it and they are starting to sleep better. She is slowly letting them have them again for 30 minutes a day.

13

Turn off the internet

14

Take them away?? Dont give them back till ur ready too. Make them work for device time by doing chores and school work.

15

Think they are all the same

16

My kids have a check list of stuff they have to do before they get devices, including things like chores, eat something healthy, take a shower, and pretend like they like each other for 30 minutes. They lose the devices before bed every night.

3 Likes
17

Change the wifi password.

18

Everyone making it sound so easy!! Im in the same boat with 2 teen girls!! Im tired of yelling at them taking things away they don’t care they will sit there and not do anything and what makes me give in is when they start saying suicidal things! :-1::sob::sob:

19

Chores first? Take away the chargers. If the chores aren’t complete the devices will die? Don’t give the chargers back until everything is complete ? I feel for you:( I hope things get better !

20

My 2 year old and 5 year old are the same. They’ve got iPhones and iPads. Just take it from them. They don’t pay the bills

2 Likes
21

Take them and keep them. You are the parent

1 Like
22

Just because you give them back doesn’t mean you can’t talk them away the next day until they do the things necessary and each day going forward.

23

Change the WiFi password

24

Don’t allow them to have them or set a time limit with an actual timer even an egg timer or your phone. We don’t have any gaming systems at all in our household period I won’t allow them

25

we have a dog. i let the teen take the dog in the backyard for some outside time… i also bought bikes and skate boards for some physical activity

26

You can set parental controls on their phones that does time.limits on apps, internet where they can go on it etc. You can also set timers on most routers now for devices that log in. We have Secure Teen to monitor calls, texts etc and I can set time parameters block apps and websites and see texts, calls and Lotta different social.media apps that she might use

2 Likes
27

Who has the power to turn off the phone and internet service??

1 Like
28

I think schedules do wonders. not that I do them but that’s probably one of the best things you can teach your kids to prepare them for adulthood.

29

My son is 7 I take away the chargers when his electronic devices die they die and until his chores and homework are done he doesnt get a charger he does his chores every morning now including starting the washer for laundry

30

I wouldn’t take away their connections to friends. I would have them charge it in my room at night but as long as they are up on grades and decent behavior there isn’t a lot to do at home.

31

Um take them away…

32

I stopped reading at 3 teen kids😂

33

Do you have a hammer? Please I’m dealing with members of my family who take the phones out when we get to a restaurant order phone eat phone fubar?

34

take the chargers, Change the wifi pw, give them a crazy look, no words

1 Like
35

You are the PARENT, they dont need a phone UNLESS they are away from the house, and all they NEED is Talk and Text . Take ALL DEVICES lock them in a safe or even the trunk of your car, take ALL social media OFF the phones and only allow them to have phones when they are away from the house! Change the Netflix, Hulu, Amazon prime password, NO CHORES DONE= NO ENTERTAINMENT TIME! You are the Parent YOU make the rules. Say what you mean and mean what YOU SAY!

36

Easy… Turn off wifi and change the password

37

You are the boss - remind them of that !:face_with_monocle:

1 Like
38

Who’s the parent?
Sorry, but I can’t wrap my head around my kids controlling me and running my household.
Put your foot down.
Be the parent. Set the rules, establish consequences and stay consistent.

7 Likes
39

Start making them pay the bill.

40

They can have their devices, take the chargers. Make them earn them back.

1 Like
41

Turn the wifi off.

I have an app for my kids where I’ve scheduled then to be on from 10am until 5pm. They don’t get them until everything in the house is done. And if they don’t do what I asked while their on it I can lock it from my phone. Only way to unlock it is my password or a generated passcode from the app. Which is a different code every time.

2 Likes
42

I put parental controls on everything. Three hours a day, they realize pretty quick how to manage their time on them.

1 Like
43

Change the wifi password. Have them help around the house or whatever to earn the password

44

I think just taking them away daily until chores done just needs to be what is “the norm” in your house. Keep it up until them just doing what is expected by you in your home becomes “the norm” for them. They are old enough to know better. All these extra things arent part of our role to provide as parents…they are benefits that need to be earned and appreciated

45

Change the wifi password everyday. And they don’t get it till their chores are and whatever else you want them to do is done.

46

I pay for a app that lets me control there game time what there able to go on the web wen there phone locks and stays locked till the time is up it’s handy and has helped a lot

1 Like
47

If they have to use the internet set limits to where it only allows them to use it during that time. I know with my internet i can set it to where only certain devices can be allowed on at certain times.

48

change the password daily. they earn the password everyday

49

Don’t give them back till you see consistent change. And if they revert back to old ways take them again. And then let them know this time it will be for even longer. I took my son’s Xbox one time for 6 months. Kids don’t need games those are a privilege not a necessity

1 Like
50

Take the devices away its that easy

51

I shut wifi off when it gets extreme

52

Get rid of the phones, dammmmmmm you’re the one paying for it. You’re the wrong doings. It’s all your fault. Quit whining

53

Take the chargers and lock them in the car

54

Change the wifi password daily

55

Have you tried the most obvious thing and smashed them? Kids need to be shown you ain’t playing around - you’re the adult

1 Like
56

Chore dry erase chart and no devices until the end of the day when they deserve it. Dry erase board so things can be changed around and the kids wont be fighting about who did a certain thing last

57

My kids are the same. Before school started I put my foot down. No phones, or chrome books untill chores are done
And untill 12. Weekdays and weekends. Now they are have to be on them for school. But I make them shut them down at 9pm.And when I call them to do something, they are to put them down. Dinner time shut them down. When we go out. They are not allowed to bring them. Put your foot down. Let them know your serious. they do try to slip one by me. They are off of it for the rest of the day.

58

Do they need them? We have set hours our teens are allowed on devices. If they don’t stick to the rules its goes away for months. Everyone helps and everyone plays. Get them outside more.

59

Tell them its gone for a week…if they can do their chores for that week without being asked…(make a chart) then they can have them back for so many hours a day…if they stop doing what’s asked take it away again for a week.

60

Limit them. Ask them what they think would be a good limit (just to make it seem like they’re participating in the negotiations) and go from there.

61

Limit how much they can use them in a day, regardless of chores or homework they do.

62

I also have a teeneger. My advice to you is to always keep in mind that you are the parent, you control the house, not them. In my case, I limit the phone time, I make a list of the tasks that need to be done. I don’t think it’s good to yell at them, I think children behave according to how you treat them, remember you need to be their example. Good luck.

63

Make it clear they need to do what’s needed around the house and homework and whatever else you want them to do! Make them earn the time make up a chore chart with times ie 30 mins for washing and drying their laundry 15 for taking out the trash etc.
Any attitude they lose their device for the day

1 Like
64

Our children never had phones until they got a job and paid for them and then if they still lived at home they were to do their chores and school work before they did anything on their phones or else they lost them and if their school grades dropped they lost them also and they knew it

65

Once you take the devices away - NEVER give them back.

1 Like
66

Um, Change wifi passwords and take devices away.

2 Likes
67

Be a parent and take them away.

3 Likes
68

You are the parent, just take them away.

7 Likes
69

Take away the power cord and then limit them on time to use it

3 Likes
70

Change wifi password and remove the data with the phone company… they wont be able to do anything on the phone

1 Like
71

Just take the device away or turn of wifi

1 Like
72

Give it back to them… but change the WiFi password! :joy::rofl: we have done it! Then we COMPLETELY took phones away! If they are old enough to buy one then they can have it ! That’s our rules! So no, no more phones in our house and I will say, it’s much more happier!

3 Likes
73

So, you already know what works to motivate them. No yelling, no warnings, just remove their power cords at a certain time, either the night before or during the AM until their chores are done. The game is a privilege, not a right or need. Be consistent until you don’t need to anymore.

74

Soon as they go back to the old ways take the devices and keep them longer. Let them know each time it gets taken away the time will be longer before they get them back

75

Take them away until they do what you tell them to for at least a week. Mine had theirs taken indefinitely because they couldn’t do their chores properly. Then when they got them back it was because they paid 50 dollars and it had no service. They were told before they got them they had to do what was told or they wouldn’t have them for long. Your kids know that you will give in if they do one thing around the house so they use it to their advantage, if you keep it until they get to the point where you only have to tell them once to do something that might help.

76

Turn off the data till they need fr homework…

77

Maybe take the devices away for more then a day!

78

Change the wifi password!!! Hide the chargers!!!

79

Through lockdown I felt we was just stuck to devices especially the girls they had no interest in toys they just wanted to sit and play Roblox I completely took it away they haven’t had it for a few months and now they are back to playing together in their bedroom with toys bed thing I’ve done

80

We have the Xfinity plan that let’s me shut off the wifi to any device linked. Until out teen does homework, chores, etc… he doesn’t have access. I also have FamilyLink on his cellphone to shut it down when necessary. As long as I pay the bills & pay for devices. I am in control. I’m not here to be friends (although we are actually very close). I am here to raise decent human beings.

2 Likes
81

Then take the devices permanently with they’re home and give only when they are away from you or home.

82

I set up 2 hour daily access time for my son. same time every day and that was just the house rules. it was after dinner so he wouldn’t just come home from school and go right on his device.
the problem is our children don’t socialize like it use to be. they can be in the smell room and still text eachother!

83

Little tip! Take away their charger. Trust me it works. When phone dies or tablet they cannot recharge till they agree to ground rules. If rules get broken, their device gets taken away for so many hours and so forth.
I have 2 teen daughters and it works.

2 Likes
84

Take their devices every night until their chores and school work are done once done they get them back till bed time. And repeat.

85

Limit them doesn’t work for all teens. Been there. Only thing I found that works is taken chargers away

86

I tell my boys 11&14 ok its time off and off then go. Idk

87

Take them and TRASH them! Kids have no business with electronics including cell phones!

88

need to get our children back to some forms of socializing other then thier divices

1 Like