I think every child should be told. If I get you a phone I will keep a check on everything you do on it. Nothing should ever be sneaky. Let them know straight up. It’s normal for him to be curious. If it were my son, I would ignore it. But if he doesn’t already know that you check it, then tell him you do. I bet he will delete it.
Don’t do anything. Don’t mention anything. Keep the door open for ongoing great conversations. I never had “the talk” with my parents. Nothing taboo about this subject either.
Honestly porn and exploration of sexual preferences are completely normal. I would let him know that it is not representative of what his real life experience with sexuality may be. To keep that in mind, and have the regular talk about being safe when he does decide to explore it with another person.
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Just have “the talk”
Be sure that he knows the dangers of sexual content and the internet (not just girls get kidnapped and trafficked)
Let him know your available for any questions, no matter how silly he may think it may be
Trust your instincts above all
I remember when life was simple. It was a magazine a short talk and that was it. But when my son started looking at porn on his phone I almost had a heart attack. It was what if he ended up looking at porn that was girls his age…it would be child porn. It was traumatic for me. We thankfully made it through it.
Give him a break hes at that age now where he is old enough to know who he should and should not be talking to and at that age I am sure a lot his age watch that!!
The talk about respecting women and their bodies and rights needs to start. Porn is acting and needs to be addressed as such so his conception of a real woman does not get confused.
Honestly just laugh and say “so, I saw a video in your search”
Make a joke about it.
N yes have a convo but a very relaxed one, and only if he is comfortable.
At that age Id assume 15+ yrs ago it would be a magazine and not on the phone. I was horrified to find similar pics of Megan Fox on my sons phone at that age. I tried to talk with him and he stopped me and said they covered everything in school. Lol so my husband chatted with him instead.
Definitely don’t say ur looking at his phone cause as a teenager hes getting to the age where he needs his own privacy but i totally get the safety part.
The sex talk is definitely important at this age, i can tell u that i was sexually active maybe a little to young but because of my moms guidance i made the right choices and actually told her when it happened and went to the doctor to make sure medically i knew the risks and the proper actions to take from that moment forward. It was embarrassing as all hell but because i knew my mother would be there for me really made it easier.
I would have the talk but also tactfully let him know it’s normal to be curious and he probably already knows more than you realize…he has friends…I am sure they all talk. Most important is to remind him of phone issues…its one thing to “look” up stuff…just let him know never take any ‘questionable’ pictures of himself or others…that stays on the web…
I would have the talk. I have girls, so I’m sure it’s different, but with them I’ve always tried to keep things open, even if I’m internally cringing at the conversation. They are now 21 and 17, but they will come to me with anything and comfortably ask me questions that I would have been terrified to ask when I was their age.
A man role model needs to guide him and talk to him with you about it. Reassure him that he’s not wrong for feeling sexual feelings. Let him know porn is a tool for adults to use as educational purposes. Tell him the dangers of sex/porn addiction is what can happen if it’s used as self pleasure and how it can long term effect his viewpoint of women. Let him know he’s not wrong for feeling urges but needs to not go to that as a source of pleasure.
My son is 15 and will be a junior in high school, I give him privacy- a lot goes into these phones, kind of like a diary. If u “check” I suggest to just scan through it each time… if u see something like porn. Then maybe give him the phone back, and then discuss it later… if u get on him too much, he may start deleting stuff and you’ll never know.
I wouldn’t punish because then he will just hide things better next time. Take the opportunity to talk and start an open dialogue with Hume on the subject.
Approach it calmly. No one should be punished for being curious about sex. Be honest and open. Give him reading materials. I promise if you don’t want to do this, he will get information from ppl who don’t know,what they’re talking about.
Have the talk with him. But also, make sure he knows NEVER to share this stuff with other teens or send links to it with his phone. It can mean serious trouble for him. I would be a little concerned about how or where he got access to it as well. Heck, my 13 year old finds stuff and we have had to block it from his phone.
Dont punish. Ask if hes comfortable enough to talk about it and answer any questions. And warn to be careful what hes looking at so his phone doesnt get messed up with viruses
Definately talk to him about it. I had to do that with my son he did the same thing but at the age 11. This age he needs privacy though like other people said. Boys get curious at young age now im shocked too i know lol my 11 year old daughter started her period last month so i was freaking a little but know its a part of them growing up. Def talk to him about sex now and let him know you know about what you found let him express what he is going threw too. My son listened but i still caught him slipping up on his computer and his ps4 so i learned you cant stop it
Opportunity to talk. I talked about what was appropriate and what was not. How it can affect you mentally and in other ways. My son now has a better understanding.
He about to be 15 and you haven’t talked to him yet? You need to talk to him. Also I would take the phone. You pay for it, he knows you check it. Anything on My cell phones, is my business. My kids are just barrowing it. If they want to look at things, thats on them. Get a book, use someone elses 
They better be better at getting away with it then i am at finding out. 
That being said sex is a 100% open topic with my kids. If they have a question, I answer it age appropriate. My oldest is 17 and mt youngest is 5. So yes, age appropriate matters. They all know they can come to me anytime.
Have a open discussion with him involving sex and it is normal to look at that stuff but also let him be aware that sex isn’t like it is in the media and he shouldn’t think girls are going to look how they do in movies and what he sees online because watching porn can lead to those thoughts try to make it that he can come to you with any questions he may have in that area I mean he will feel a bit upset you went through his phone but you are paying the bill and he is too young to have freedom of the internet in his hands unsupervised but that’s my advice
Just be open and honest with him. Don’t make a big deal out of it this is all a natural curiosity for teenagers. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and make sure he understands what’s appropriate and what isn’t and that he can come to you with any questions he has.
My son did the same he said he didn’t know what it was but he def did as he messaged back but I blocked that person had long talk and I check more often and have a block on certain sites
Porn is perfectly normal. Dont take his phone but you or better another man needs to sit down and talk to him about it. It’s ok to look at and to experiment with his own body.
I literally JUST went through this EXACT same thing with my 13 year old son, (he’ll be 14 in November) I bit my tongue to prevent freaking out on him (everything in me wanted to take his phone away and ground him until he’s 18 … lol) what I did was have the talk, we discussed the reasons why his actions were inappropriate, he of course promised me it would not happen again and I explained that until I feel that he can handle the use of his phone appropriately that I would be placing parental controls on his device… 
the Internet can be a very scary place for a curious teenager and if he has questions I’d rather have him feel comfortable talking to me… I am also a single mom btw, so it just makes all of this even more difficult …
I would have a talk with him about what is appropriate and that it’s natural to be curious however looking at porn is not ok. Because you never had the talk or expectations you shouldn’t punish him but let him understand that the next time their will be consequences. You cannot buy porn until you are an adult for a reason. Developing teens especially boys do not have the tools to keep porn in check and unfortunately it’s easily accessible. There has been a significant rise in teen and adult porn addiction and trust me you don’t want that for your son. Honest and open communication even though uncomfortable really helps teen navigate this confusing time. You can have rules and boundaries without shaming him or making it seem likely sex is this taboo thing. We limit things all the time for our kids based on age and this is no different. Explaining why you don’t want him looking at porn is the first step and leave it open for him to question your reasons.
You shouldn’t take his phone because you’re basically punishing him for going through puberty. Also, his phone isn’t the last device on this earth. He will find another way to look at it. The best thing that you can do is talk to him. Educate him on sex. No need to be uncomfortable because it’s a normal and natural part of life. Explain that he should wait for the right person but also educate and provide protection for him just in case. I’ve never met a person who actually got permission from their parents to have sex. He’s going to do it whether you want him to or not. Warn him of the dangers and potential consequences he may face by choosing to engage in sexual activity. I completely understand what you’re going through because I have a son who is now 23 years old. You cannot be everywhere and see everything that your son does. Remember how it was at that age? You may not have been sexually active but you had friends or classmates who were. Several of mine were pregnant in middle school. Make it easy for your son to come to you about this so that he isn’t forced to lie or sneak around. Alot of the girls in school who ended up pregnant because they couldn’t openly discuss sex with their parents and couldn’t get protect for fear of their parents finding it. Educating him and giving him protection is the best way to handle it.
Talk straight forward as an one adult to another. Make sure you are not embarrassed yourself talking about this subject.
Have the talk with him. Be open and honest but also be informative. When I caught my son I had the talk with him and also discussed legal porn (although not moral it was legal) and illegal porn (because what if he was to search for porn for his age group, not thinking anything about child porn and the laws). I also asked if he would prefer to read a book about puberty versus having the embarrassing talk with his mom. They do have age appropriate books on puberty. He preferred the books but i told him if he had any questions to ask me, not google.
It’s completely normal. Don’t mortify him into thinking it’s shameful. Be open. The tell should’ve been a while ago but it’s never too late
It’s definitely a teen boy thing to be curious about that. Even some teen girls are doing the same. I know my 16 yr old was curious about all that at the same age as well and probably still is. I don’t think taking his phone is a good thing. Then you are basically saying sex is bad. Instead, explain that porn gives people unrealistic expectations of sex, that what is shown in videos and what happens in real life isn’t the same. I’d also take the time to explain to him not to ever send inappropriate pics of himself or ask for them from someone else. Himself and or the other person could be charged with child porn since he is underage.
We are all curious thats why most people use google. Just talk to him, tell him everything he wants to know and probably a few things he doesnt. Let him know that you understand that he is getting older and other kids his age maybe younger are talking about sex and porn but he is his own person. He needs to know sex has responsible that he isnt ready for. Like birth control std and that now he has to think twice before just kissing a girl, i had this talk with my nephew (who is 19). If he does get with a girl, he needs to know that alot of things could go wrong even if she agreed when it was in the moment or when it was just them. She could regret the choice, he need to know that stuff. And thats why he can talk to you about this cause you want him to be safe and understand that sex is more than just sex… Its alot.
Please talk to him. It’s embarrassing, you don’t have to mention that you found it, but just have a generalized sex talk, realistic expectations for sex and that real sex isn’t always like porn, and this could be a great time to discuss female anatomy and talk about periods and contraceptives. Don’t make the talk heavy, make it light and educational and include ways to protect himself and others from STI’s.
Def have the talk with him. He is gonna act like he don’t know what you are talking about but still continue. Make sure he knows.
I would not bring up what you found I would ask him if he if he has any question about sex and if no let him you all are available for any questions he may have. I think bringing up what you found may be embarrassing for him. My son and I have a very open dialogue about sex.
Porn is normal. Give him privacy. Talk to him about safe sex and buy him condoms. And don’t check his phone anymore.
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Have the talk. In the car. He doesn’t have to look at you. Captive audience.
Yes, of course you should speak with him about it. I feel you should have had “the talk” already a few years ago.
I personally believe you should be talking with your kids about sex and life since they are young. Tell them what’s you believe and what’s you expect and always talk about how we grow. Don’t wait. And definitely talk to him by asking what he thinks and what’s going on with girls and also what appropriate internet viewing. Be open and non judgmental
To be honest you are 10 years to late to start having the talk. Like where the hell where you!
You now have to undo everything he has learned from his peer at school. Have fun with that. My advice is dont get angry at any suprises that happen in the future. Remember you where lazy and weren’t there to guide him.
I got a problem with you going thru the phone.unless reason to believe something is wrong.
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My son started when he was 10. I would just relax about it but definitely have “the talk” with him.
I freaked out when my son had it on his phone a couple years ago. It scared me but it was me holding on to “my baby” who is morphing into man hood. We talked about it and how it made him feel and what he was getting from it. I told him to come to me with any other questions or if he needed to express something. I want the dialogue to be open. I would rather he ask me question and give him privacy to do “the thing” than to have him get answers from stupid friends or get some girl pregnant.
My 3 year olds therapist said that it’s fine as long as you talk about it and it is not being used as a learning tool.
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Going through their phone is not respecting their privacy. Have the Talk and have regular talks about anonymous people and internet safety. My daughter is only 7, but she has an iPod and plays Roblox on it all the time. I know that there is a chat feature, so we regularly talk about online strangers and not to give out any personal information.
I wouldnt condone him watching porn. I would have talks with him. I’d explain that curiosity is natural but watching porn isnt even legal for him. You’d possibly be contributing to the delinquency of a minor if knowingly allowing it.
Don’t make it weird or he’ll never talk to you about things. Its a strange time in a young man’s life let it play out.
Talk to him. Be open and honest. Ask questions, but let him ask questions… no matter how embarrassing. Be a present parent, not someone stuck in the past or on past generational rules.
Talk to him. Make sure he knows to use contraception all the time.
I have 3 boys here, 19,17,16.
Believe me. Talking to them is better and they do cover it, no babies coming this way yet, anyway. Lol
Good luck
I would say talk to him to open communication betweenboth of you…to be honest I think you shouldve talked to hime since he began middle school? 
You dont want him to be getting false information from other places.
Yes!!! He is hitting puberty and his hormones are crazy! Let alone this is the time they explore there body!!! And porn is VERY EASY to come by nowadays!!! Check that phone but keep it respectful! And don’t freak out with what you may find!
The exact same happened with my now 14 year old son, he was 13 at the time. I talked with him about curiosity and how its normal, (we had the sex talk a few years prior) and also talked with him about viruses on the phone, and how most of the things on videos dont happen in real life, wether it be a cartoon vid or normal.
With all the access the kids have these days, if you just tell them no, they will find another way, i like to provide explinations as well.
To be honest I feel the talk should already have been had by now my daughter is 12 and I’ve already had it with her she is in 2nd year at high school and has told me she get made fun of and called a nerd because she wont kiss anyone never mind sleep around like some of the girls in her year do. She will come and talk openly about everything. My son is 10 he will be 11 in september and I have started talking about things with him too. I have raised.my kids to know if they want to know or talk about anything at all especially things they hear outside to come to me and I will explain properly and kids half the time learn from older kids and they just hear random words not truly understanding their meaning. My kids feel comfortable to talk about anything at all with me the know they will never get into trouble for asking questions ever and I dont get embarrassed I explain and talk the best I can with them it’s a part of parenting. If i see something is bothering them i sit with them remind them there is no wrong questions or feelings and they will never get in any kind of trouble for asking. I want them to talk about the good things the hard things even the bad things I want to understand them as best as I can and I want them to feel safe always. I think you have left it a bit late and your son may know a hell of a lot more than you think but you need to make sure he knows the correct information have a look online and you will get ideas on how best to talk with an older child. If you are uncomfortable with it maybe dad can do or an uncle even good luck xxx
Let’s be honest. It’s normal at that age to wonder. Teach him right. A lot of parents don’t care enough to do so. Make sure he know that porn is unrealistic but don’t shame him for looking/watching it. Sounds bad but he will just keep looking. Also teach him how to treat a girl before he gets a girlfriend. Take him on some mother son dates. And if dad is in the picture tell him that you both will answer anything he asks. Don’t shelter. He will just look it up on the internet. Don’t take the phone. And never I repeat never shame him. Be honest. If you are going through his phone he should know. That will make trust issues later for him. Posting a a girl who never got the talk about anything and was just always left a guys house because my parents where to busy to care about me in high school.
Normal and with today’s technology not sure you can keep it from him. I wouldn’t bring it up but have talks, as many as you can without making it too awkward 
Just ask him about it. Ask him what his thoughts are on things like sex and porn. Create a safe environment for him to come and openly talk to you and ask about things.
Do not punish him , just have the talk , be lighthearted , be open , you want him to talk with you whenever anything comes up .
Yes you should have a conversation with him. Start off by telling him what he is doing is normal but you also need to make clear that having that stuff on his phone is not appropriate. But the biggest thing you need to teach him is that people should not be sexualized and that he needs to respect a women’s or a mans body and they need to be treated with respect and told they are beautiful rather than hot
I do random checks on my 13yo phone . And in a group chat with his friends I seen a picture (I tend not to read his friends messages , but it was open when I picked up his phone) We had an uncomfortable conversation about reality versus porn , and consent . It important to have these talks
I would have the talk with him and get him some condoms. Don’t bring up that you know he’s looking at porn. I think it’s normal for a teenager to look at porn as long as it’s not anything harmful. He’s probably curious. If you mention the porn it will only embarrass him and probably keep him from coming to you for future situations.
I would say interest in sex and girls is normal but watching porn is not. It can become an addiction as an adult and its not something you really need to subject yourself to. Do you have a girlfriend? Are you thinking about trying the things you saw? There are ways you need to protect yourself if you are. Here is the list of stds… Here is a picture of those. Here is a Video of a 13 year old dad. This can also happen. Here is a an example of a couple who waited. There are other things you can start with first.
Truly
I have no clue. My sons aren’t this age yet. But this was what came to mind
Just have a talk about safety. Make sure he knows to wash his hands. I wouldn’t tell him you found porn on his phone because he’ll be embarrassed and probably angry and feel violated
Have the talk with him it’s natural for him to be doing that especially at that age
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Why are you going through his phone?? I have never gone through my daughters phone. It’s her phone. Her privacy.
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Do not punish him, he’s not doing anything wrong! But you do need to sit down with him and have the talk!
Have the talk with him but do not tell him you saw that on his phone. It’s a absolutely normal for boys. I raised two boys, now they are 27 and 24.
I wouldn’t take his phone. But I would have “the talk” with him. And also help him to understand that girls/women are not like that in real life.
Your kid is becoming experimental and curious. A lot of kids search up crazy stuff when curious. I know if my parents ever tried coming up to me as a young teen and discussing this with me, I’d become more secretive with what I do/search and id lose a lot of trust in my parents. It’s a personal thing.
I didn’t even know there was such thing until my son had it on his computer (about 15 years old at the time)
they know more about stuff from their friends talking than we give them credit for
My honest opinion is that this can be a very slippery slope. Subjecting a child to pornagraphic images can land you in hot water. He can also get in trouble for trying to look up girls his own age group. Sounds like a serious talk should happen.
Why not look into getting an app on his phone that helps you control what he can and cant look at. We have one on our phone where we can choose what websites, searches, if it has internet connection or not etc.
I had a conversation with my almost 14 year old about exposure to porn and how it is linked to ED. Told him to look it up if he didn’t believe me.
Normal curiosity,but a good time for being lead in the right way,just talk to him in private,don’t embarrass him,that’s the last thing boys want there mother to find out,be loving and nice let him known if he ever needs advice or to just talk to you about girls,your always there available no matter how good or bad it might be and you will never judge him,he needs to know the truth and your his mother you will never lead him wrong.good luck mom you got this.
I am in this same boat, I just talked to him about it. Tried not to embarrass him too much, said that curiosity is so normal, but that websites are dangerous, with click bait ads and viruses, and that the inter web tracks and knows what we look at, those links aren’t erased even if we think we’ve deleted the history. That creepy lurkers watch for vulnerable youth and make dangerous contact. It’s so scary trying to raise kids these days. They aren’t just finding dad n moms playboy magazine or stumbling across “toys”, it’s digital, in your face and way too available.
I would sit down and talk to him not a lecture simply explain that you understand about how he might be interested and curious and it normal however to be search on the internet and what not that there are some weird people that hack phones computers and other things and that this is not a good idea to be doing on the phone stuff you put out there in the internet never truly goes away.
We had the talk. We basically told him please don’t go to those sites because they are full of viruses and will mess up your phone. Then we talked about "these are normal feelings and if you have questions please come ask. The second time we found it we did take the phone because he now knows those sites will ruin the phone
Very difficult one x
, did he show any interest in girls before, my friends 13 year old said that he likes a women’s legs quite a lot so he’s obviously seeing girls as attractive and I think she did speak to him, I think as embarrising as it might be you may have to talk about it x although myself and my other half never had the talk so I thjnk it depends what your son is like
I’m pretty sure this is normal. I’d go at it funny like myself. Like yeah, I know this is awkward as hell but let’s chat for just a sec. Explain as much as you can while being not too serious, but get your point across. I’ve found with stuff like this (the less scary you make it, informative but not pushy and panicky) sets well with them more. They actually will engage and ask questions because they don’t feel threatened by wrong doing.
Leaving alone, if you know what you don’t trust him you will hide things in his phone or he will find other ways of watching things he wants to watch and hide it from you that’s not a good way to go
My son is 13 and has done the same thing. I let my husband handle it because I didn’t want to have him feel awkward.
Harmless , time to start giving him more privacy, when i found out my son was watching porn i told him its normal, but i dont want him thinking its ok to degrade women ever, also he needs to delete his history on his phone, his lil brothers are to young to see any of that…good luck seems like you already know what your going to do about it…
Ok as a mom of 2 grown boys this is perfectly normal. Back in the day it was Playboy… Things have changed, upgraded if you will. Just remember he will be embarrassed and not want to discuss this, so I wouldn’t bring this up. I would however have “the talk” with him. And just make sure he knows the lines of communication are open. And by some condoms unless you are ready to be a grandparent…
My son is 30 now and we went through the same things. Now that mine is grown, I have learned that if you make a huge deal over it, it just becomes more intriguing to them. Making a huge deal just makes them more curious about why it’s such a “huge” deal.
“Information gathering” at that age is perfectly normal.
My only other advice would be to always knock before entering rooms. What might be happening behind that closed door is also normal but knocking will help you avoid an uncomfortable surprise.
Yup just a talk. There are serious dangers with porn and boys that should be discussed. It can effect brain development, as well as give them unrealistic expectations of sex. I would discuss this, but not shame him.
I personally wouldn’t let him know you went through his phone. If he is a well behaved teen. And hasn’t given you a reason to distrust him. He will be so embarrassed I’m sure if you tell him what you saw. And he may never come to you with info or talks in the future. I would however have the sex talk. Ensure safety and instill some mortality around the issue. But no shaming. He’s that age.
My sister in laws brother was also watching cartoon porn. She had the talk with him about getting to know himself. That he should be watching regular porn instead of cartoon porn. So that they don’t thinknits always going to be like the cartoons. She also explained that even regular porn isn’t how sex will always be. She didn’t tell him to not do it just that to go via realistic forms of it than fictional.
You talk to him calmly and frankly. Like its normal…cause it is…let him know to be safe, and responsible i would also let him know not to look at ANYTHING that looks like young girls so he doesn’t get in trouble. Let him know he can talk to you, ask you questions. If you don’t embarras him and make it seem very normal he will be more open to talking with you, no need to be embarrassed 
I know of a you f man that had to register as a sex offender because he has pictures of under age girls on his phone… talk to him TODAY
He probably knows more at 15 then most parents know. I think he is good to go. Might want to have a talk about dating, respecting himself, about inappropriate touching on his body (from someone else), and about respecting a partner. Being polite, and knowing what is acceptable on how to treat a partner. Teaching him about abusive (mental and physical) relationships would be a nice touch also.
It’s quiet normal. I have 2 boys myself. But you should have the talk with him. Be honest with him. Let him ask you anything. I would rather my boys ask me and get a straight answer than someone who.doesnt know.
Don’t punish him for his body, have the talk with him and tell him that it’s ok to watch these things. But that he is too young to accually have sex with another person.
I’d just let it go. You don’t want him to feel like he can’t trust you. If it were something more serious then I’d say something but cartoon porn probably isn’t that bad. But your his mama. You know what’s best for him!
We know our 13 year old daughter looks at it! We dont say anything directly but we are open with everything and make jokes and such. So if she says “ew! Gross!” To us kissing or hugging we just say “it’s not like you havent seen it before” lol or my husband will smack my butt and make notions and she says gross, we say “but you dont mind when others do it” lol we’ve already had the talk with her too.
Definently have the talk and let him know he can be open with you about everything then let it go…
If the father is around, have him talk to him. It’s perfectly normal for young teens to look at things like this, don’t make him feel awkward about it
I would talk to him about it. Definitely let him know that the stuff he is looking at is not what its like in real life.
Help him be responsible but don’t make him feel badly about his sexuality. He’s growing up. Make coming to you a comfortable space.
Time to talk to him about what is allowed on his phone and what is not… absolutely talk to him about sex, protection, and diseases, and be informative, and let him know he has no reason to be embarrassed or if he has questions he can talk to you or his male roll model. I think keeping it an open honest revolving conversation is a good place to start.
If you aren’t already talking about the changes they’re going through, now is a good time to start.