My teenage son has started demanding things from us: Advice?

Well I would tell him he isn’t allowed to drive unless he is doing chores everyday and I would tell him only be able to drive on the weekends when you or your husband isn’t working . I would tell him if he called your job one more time then he wouldn’t be allowed to drive at all . That is your work place he shouldn’t be calling unless of a emergency. Start taking his stuff away and letting him earn it back . And so what if he says those things to you he is just being manipulating to get his way . It’s childish . And when he demands ignore him but first tell him he needs to adjust how he comes to you and you will not be talked to like that .

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Take back control, he isn’t the boss! If he wants to do things he has to earn them. He’s never going to get what he wants out in the world by acting that way. Teach him the skills he needs to succeed in life. Bullying anyone especially his mom, isn’t the way to act. Good luck and God bless you.

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Dad should he right up him for disrespecting you and so should you. No more lessons from you at all until he does. Tell to get a job to pay for his own lessons. Might have a better attitude when he sees how much it will cost him. Needs to pull his head in. You both need to be a United front

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Well he sounds spoiled. Very. They do it to themselves. They are trying to figure it all out. That includes guilt trips and sometimes tantrums. You are not his friend. He has no business calling you at work at all. That has to stop. You can say no to him but it sounds like you dont or we wouldnt just do these things. He is controlling your house and driving is a privilege and if he is going to be immature enough to call you at work about driving then he seems too immature to be driving. It’s for responsible people. He cannot be rewarded for acting like this. Get it together parents or you will have more problems on your hands.

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Uhm, driving is a privilege. Not something that he should just expect. Start by holding him accountable. He needs to do things around the house, pull his weight, and then maybe let him drive. But only on your terms. Not his. Need to remind him who you are and who he is. You have the upper hand as a parent. Don’t let him guilt you. There needs to be changes in his behavior and what he does around the house for starters.

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How about: I will let YOU know when YOU can drive MY car!!! Every time you act like that you’re not driving at all!!! My #2 acted like this… But im the parent n dont give a s**t if you like me :grin::+1:

Don’t let him drive he can start doing chores. Tell Em move out get a job pay your own bills start now why you still know everything. :joy::tipping_hand_woman:

I would be saying unless you can treat me with respect and do things around the house you wont be driving the car. He wants the responsibility of driving your car but is not acting as an adult.

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You’re so strong for posting this and asking for help! Our kids can be such a tricky area and especially this age. They test out boundaries and it would seem he is doing just that. I don’t really follow the wait until your father gets home as I was a single parents in those days but know you’re the parent not him. If his behavior has suddenly changes. there can be a bigger reason. I would go through everything in his room and life to be sure their isn’t more to this muscle flexing than pushing boundaries. Please do not ever feel asking for help is ever a sign a weakness, sometimes it’s bigger than us and we need a hand. Counselors at school can give you names of therapist or resources if needed. Posting on here was so brave of you, tells us all you’re an amazing parent to show your vulnerable side. Now days it’s so hard to know if your too hard and it’s really something totally different. Parenting is hard, know you’re never alone

It’s tough being the Mom and saying Nobut better No now, as your not his Friend but the parent, comes with feeling bad but better to stand your ground now than spend your money and energy on lawyers and trying to fix after, You deserve Respect and have the right to Expect It, If you don’t ask for it how will you get it

Mama you need to take back control. Take everything from him but the necessities and make him earn it back. He needs to be humbled. He wants to go driving cool go mow the lawn, do laundry, wash dishes, detail the car. Driving is a privilege not a right. He should never demand anything from you. Your husband and you need to do this as a united front if he doesn’t want to do any of the things he doesn’t need to drive, have video games any of it

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Tell him for every chore he does that’s 10 mins of driving lessons. No phone calls unless it is an emergency (explain what emergencies are). For every day that her doesn’t call unless it is emergency; that’s 1/2 hr driving lesson.

Weekend lessons only! No after school lessons, unless he is willing to get a part time before or after school/weekend job to pay for his own extra professional lessons.

He come to you, because you are the easiest target. You give in. It’s as much about you as it is about him.

Explain the consequences set mutual hard and fast rules. No giving in!

Actions = Consequences. How is he supposed to be a responsible driver, when he is being an irresponsible child.

Remember you are not his friend. It is what Parents are supposed to do. To teach children how to behave appropriately and respectfully at home and within society.

Be a parent, not a friend. Trust me he will respect you more for the hard work you put in now!

You need to sit down, by yourself, or with your husband, and make a list of rules and requirements. He needs to know what chores need to be done each day, what attitude he needs to exhibit, and what behaviors are not acceptable…calling you at work, demanding, being obnoxious, etc. Set what the rewards are, and the consequences if rules are not followed. It sounds like you paid for most of his things, so feel free to reposes items when rules are not followed, or behavior is not acceptable. “Driving Time” needs to be earned, not demanded! Also, when driving is allowed needs to be understood and scheduled! You are the parent and need to make sure he understands that fact!

My advice, tell him he either get with the program or there’s always Military School.

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You and Dad need to have a sit down with him and set ground rules. It’s imperative that Dad back you up 100%

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He needs to learn respect and tnT driving is a privilege not a right . Make him do chores and earn gas money and drive time. As stupid as it sounds make a chore chart. I too have dealt with this and always hated telling my kids no but got taken advantage of . The you are the parents. And I’ve been told that if Mt kids get mad at me for. Ot giving In or say they hate me then I know I’m doin something right and they are saying it out of anger and don’t mean it . They get mad they will survive and get over it. If not they’ll be mad a long time. Good luck

He needs to learn he can not always get his way. If u say no then it’s no. He will learn to accept it if u stand your ground. Dont award bad behavior, if u do his behavior will get worse and will damage his future.

Um… idk maybe put your foot down an say no and mean it… so what if he gets mad… He don’t have to have the luxury of driving… he has 2 feet make him use them if he wants to be disrespectful

By the sounds of it dads the main dissaplinter as hard as its going ti be for you he needs to step back and you need to step up, my son is exactly the same but only 8 (my boy is asd) anyway strip everything take his phone internet licences keys friends hangs everything he gets nothing until he can respect the parent that provides it all you need ti be harsh and strict you need to be strong do not buckle no matter what your son throws at you keeo your head up and until he improvs he gets nothing back. Things as simple as set jobs he has to do weather it be daily or weekly etc if he doesnt do them he doesnt get his stuff also set driving days so yes i am your parent and i am ment to teach you to drive and ill do this each and every sunday no other day dont like it then do some jobs to earn some cash to get some professional lessons, make him earn everything back and the second he slips up dont give him a pass take his phone or pc or what ever away again and stick to it consistency is key. Like i said you will have days you just want to give him all his stuff so he leaves you the hell alone or youll be so exhausted and defeated you just cant do it anymore and let hubby take over you cant let this happen or you will be doomed forever to repeat it. Super sorry if that sounded harsh wasnt ment to its just i went through this and know how effing shitty is it and how hard it is good luck mumma

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Mmmmmm. Seems like he is busy training to become an excellent Narcissist. You as parents have to call the shots.

Driving is a privilege… and having a car to drive is an even bigger privilege.

We had war in our house MANY a day in the process of raising boys that cook and clean. It was worth it. 19 and 15 now and they help without being asked. My son just got his learners license yesterday and he actually asked to drive home (next town).

In short? What you allow from birth, might bite you in the ass later. Be consistent with house rules. AND… ALWAYS remember that he is OLD enough to KNOW the consequences of bad choices. I say this because his next step in manipulating you might be to mix with bad influence friends and blame YOU for it. AND then the physical abuse of you and hubby will be unavoidable. Seen it happen over and over and over.

Just put your foot down. You are the parent, and he is the child. Plainly tell him NO,and that it will always be NO till his attitude changes.
Also have him earn driving privileges. If he’s old enough to drive,he’s old enough to have chores.
Do not allow him to have that much power over you.
I hate to say it,but if don’t get it under control now. It can only get worse.
Imagine you having a daughter, and she gets old enough to start dating. Then ends up with someone that treats her,the way he’s treating you.
Good luck Momma,you can do this.

Sounds like he needs a good noggin thumpin…dad needs to grow a pair and get the job done. Any man who will allow their CHILD to disrespect their spouse is no man at all…and if this kid was mine, he would be riding a bicycle a lot until he learned how things are supposed to work in the real world…

Do like i do. I play just as hard headed as them. When they see they bullying and/or demands isnt working then the do what u want them to do. It will take time but it will work.

Maybe he should get a weekend job and pay for driving lessons

No teen that is driving should have a radio on! You are the mom not his friend or shoffer.

Hold your ground. You say no that means no. Dont give in. Make him work for what he wants.

You need to step up and be a parent you can say no and stick by it.

Demand!!?? YOU allowed and it appears that YOU continue to allow what you allow in your home.

Sounds like you need to stop caring if he is mad at you. My son says all that stuff also, then gets over it because when I say no… that is what I mean. I might have to say it 3 or 4 tumes but NEVER to the extremes your talking about. I also remind my son, my rules or he does not drive. If he get his hours for segment 2, that is on him. I want him to get his license but not if it is at the expense of being disrespectful to me and his dad. If he makes the hours for segment 2, that is up to jim and his behavior. However, there are time he just is not going to drive… like when he is grounded. Driving requires him to be off punishment. Most the time we let him drive but remind him real quick, if we say no …it is no. We want him to drive when he is doing right because the more instructional hours he can get behind the wheel with us, the better we feel he will do on the road on his own.

Lay down some rules like it are there the door . This young man needs to help are he gets nothing .

Tough love…his choice

One you’re husband is wrong he needs to back you up on this. Two the kid needs to learn boundaries. When you say no. That means no not oh I’m going to call and bug my mom till she give in. Three tell him to get a job and pay for it. You’re raising a man not a boy who’s going to live in your basement his whole life playing Fortnite with kids screaming after he get killed. You said it yourself he is demanding that needs to stop. Being entitled is going to make it worse. When he gets to be an adult and ask you for rent money because he spent his on a game or shoes, are you going to give it to him. If not he will bugg you until you do. That’s what he has learn.

You can do this. You sound like a strong woman but you need your husband to back you up. Talk to him tell we’re raising a young man. He needs to learn to stand on his two feet and he definitely needs to learn when you work hard you’re going to get the things he wants or needs. You work hard for your money now it’s your sons turn.

Tell him if he gets a job, you’ll get him a used car.

The second I “demanded” something from my parent, I got my butt whooped. That was the last time I demanded something. You need to be a parent, not a friend.

Make him get a job after you whip his behind

Tell him your not the worst, but can show him what it is like.

Sounds like he needs a good old butt whipping. Heck i don’t know why parents try to become friends with their kids instead of being parents to them. Kids will only treat their mother the way their father treats her.

The only thing you owe him is a roof over his head, food & clothes… that’s what parents do. Take away the permit till he learns respect !

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My teenage son has started demanding things from us: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

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Rest assured you’ll get expert parental advice on wastebook

Needs to be taken out back of the barn and taught respect

Take it all away and make him earn it

Oh no buy him a bike

Sparel the rod spoil the child whoop his ass

Start taking privileges away.

Let’s just hope this brat doesn’t start threatening his parent(s) w/ physical violence. Sounds to me like he needs a good butt whooping !!!

No the feeling i have 14 year old

Oh my word you just summed up to a tee my oldest teenage grandson! :rofl: I would have sworn you were about to call his name!! Glad we’re not in this alone. We butt heard often. I don’t understand all this entitlement attitude!!

Stand your ground mama. Driving is a privilege.

Stop giving into him. Take all privileges away until he can treat you better and with respect

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He can get a job, earn enough money to buy his own car and be on his way w out you. Should have had him start doing that at 14 so this wouldn’t have been a problem, start now! He is basically harassing you. Stand up to him and put boundaries in place. Do not answer his calls, only once unless it is an emergency. He needs a hobby, sport, club, school or job to focus on. He sounds bored. But he needs to respect you and leave you alone. He needs to earn his keep.

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Driving is a privilege not a right. A temp i believe you have to have an adult in all states if I’m wrong its irrelevant to what I say next. He gets to drive and spend time with friends when he finds his respect for you and not demand things. Does he have a phone, that can go also. Ive taken my sons phone away and got a land line, also have our Google home set up to his phone index so he can call us through Google home. I’m my sons mother and even friend at times, but I wont allow my child to treat me less than. In fact he shouldn’t treat anyone like that nor allow others to treat him like he’s someone’s bitch.

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Sounds like he is a bit spoiled, you have to break this habit, I think Dad can do more and the both of you need to sit him down and set some ground rules. Be firm and don’t give in.

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Quit enabling him!!! Let him go without until he shows some respect and as for the 16 phone calls at work? Take his phone let him go without for awhile and then let him earn them back. But as long as you give into him then buckle up he is only going to get worse. And when he guilt trips you just say yep I guess and walk away. Your the parent not a friend. Sounds to me you both have work to do. You need to change your behavior as well or it won’t work. Tough love. I did it with mine and now it’s a total different demeanor, I got respect :fist:

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Tell him driving is a privilege not a right and until he starts showing responsibility in other areas of his life then the car is off limits. Don’t give into his demands. You are the parent.

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Oh lord, I don’t even want to imagine what my Mom would’ve done to me if I called her at work 16 times​:flushed::flushed::flushed: That kid wouldn’t be driving to the corner store…

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You are his parent. NOT his friend. If he’s mad at you for a few days, so what? Stand your ground, make boundaries and take things away until he realizes how well he has it. Sometimes when life becomes a little miserable for them (aka no phone, electronics, freedom to hang with friends, ect) they become a little more grateful. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Ahhh…parents are supposed to prepare you to be an adult. Not follow every demand. Is he a toddler? Because he sounds like a threeanger! But kids go through phases…it could be his friends who he is copying their behavior and lifestyle…or testing how far he can go on the guilt trips and demands.

My thoughts on what to do…get him a bike and flip phone. Because the world is not given to you. You don’t get everything you want. If he is old enough to get a job that boom. Bye, go buy your own car!

Or have him look for odd jobs around the neighborhood like picking up trash and poop for neighbors and yard work!

We have a neighbor and their little man was starting to be very much entitled. He got to do our household shit duties twice a week for 2 dollars. Ya I asked him what he thinks his going rate was…tried to give him a chance to earn more :sweat_smile: we have a zoo of all kinda animals. He only did two because it was during the school year.

Tough tough love that will probably be hell to do but the long term goal will be worth it.

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He does it because from the sounds of things it works… if you don’t want the behavior to continue do not allow it. Easier said than done but put your foot down. You are the parent he is the child. If you say no then no means no

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Ugh no, boundaries momma! It’s a difficult age for sure and this last year has been especially difficult for everyone so maybe it’s something else he’s projecting as a way to control “his” environment where he doesn’t feel like he has any. Also, and I’m only bringing this up out of experience, is this a particular trait he’s learned from another male to get his way?

Bottom line. You’re the parent and he’s obviously not understanding the difficulty of what that means. We as mom’s especially want to give our kids the world and help the best we can, but that doesn’t mean that there won’t be healthy limits to reestablish.

Especially with driving. We’ve all been there. It’s exciting, it’s a way to express ourselves to people who usually don’t end up in long term roles in our lives. But it’s also incredibly dangerous. We tend to feel more invincible when we are young. A good dose of reality in a healthy setting might help that. Too many of our friends die/died with this same thought of “it’ll never happen to me”.

Wishing you all the best!!

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Never let your child demand or guilt you into anything. I personally don’t care if my child bashes my name. I quickly remind house rules. I remind driving is a privilege not a necessity and without minding,doing chores and going by our working schedule will he drive. If you keep giving in he will do it more and more. Trust me inexperienced drivers that are sneaking and driving are out there. Statistics are not good for the ones not properly trained and disciplined.

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Time to put your foot down otherwise things will get worse. Take his license away until he learns to treat you with the respect you deserve. Time for some tough love , rules and boundaries and consequences for not following them.

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Stay strong mama, make him earn driving privileges thats what they are…
You are his mama not his buddy , stay strong …

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Feeling your pain, right here! My hub and I have raised 3 boys, now 29, 24, 22 and I STARTED to respond with “You have created a monster. He must’ve spoiled rotten and used to getting his way” BUUUTT…I gotta be honest. All 3 of mine hit a stage where they made your story sound too familiar!! Unless he is being completely disrespectful or abusive in ANY way to you or his dad, I 100% believe this is a stage. This age is discovering personal freedoms and opinions they will need for adulthood and hormones are crazy. “Finding their way” maybe. Stuck between boy and man. I would NOT allow him to call me 16x per day at work. Nor be “demanding”. Draw a line and do not allow him to cross it. Boundaries!!! However he’s just testing the waters. Insist on respect at all costs

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He gets away with being a tyrant because you and the “hubby” allow it. Doesn’t sound like either of you know how to demand respect. It’s so easy to predict the kind of boyfriend, husband/partner and father he’ll be just by this behavior. And God forbid a Boss or Coworker. Get it together and put your foot down for Gods sake.

Please don’t allow him to get away with acting that way any longer… make his life hell until he learns some respect, do whatever you have to do! I had 2 kids with someone who acted this same way… We were both 17. He’s now 24 and still is the same way and doesn’t do shit for our kids! He still acts like a child and mommy just bought him a Cadillac🙃 shes always been an enabler

Put on your big girl panties. You are the parent…act like it. You’re not doing your son any favors. His behavior should show you that. Sorry if it sounds harsh.

Sounds like he’s used to getting his way all the time. You two have created this mess. My boys do not run my household. Ours are 18, 11 & 2. We started disciplining them as toddlers.

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As a parent set boundaries and ground him from driving if he can’t be more mature about it and be respectful to y’all. Stand your ground and be firm and tell him the disrespect stops now. And tell him he can drive on y’all time.

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Get your. Calendar out and start treating him like an adult if he wants to drive like an adult. He will have to write down his schedule and events and “book” the. Car according to availability and you need to block times out he can’t have the car. But this way he know where his boundaries are. And if he doesn’t pay car insurance or any thing or doesn’t have a job he really doesn’t have a say in any thing. Your job is to keep him safe. And if he is a brat about it then just no car ar all for the whole week. If hw want to be treated like an adult he needs to respect the adults in his if who are teaching him to become a respectful man.

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Completing chores and being respectful earns a certain amount of driving time. If he doesn’t do the chores or is demanding and entitled, no driving for him! And set some specific times to drive. Mostly weekends when you are not as worn out!

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I’m old school, Driving is a privilege not luxury!!

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While that doesn’t sound acceptable, don’t feel offended. He is wants a life outside of his parents. If your working 12 hours a day, what does he do? Work? Go out with friends? Home playing video games? If he is home staring at the walls all day while you guys are at work, he is probably just looking for something to go out and do. Is there jobs close by your home he can walk to till he saves up for a clunker?

I raised all sons, my youngest is currently 16yo and has his permit, if he demanded me to let him drive or started acting like an ass, his permit would expire and he wouldnt be going for his test until he learns some respect…:upside_down_face:
Good luck, teenage boys are such a blast…:rofl:

Take everything out of his room and make home earn everything back. Provide him with basic thing like a bologna sandwich for lunch and dinner, basic blue sweat suit non name brand. Put his mattress on the floor. You only have to provide food, clothes and shelter. Make home earn anything above basic

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If he’s being manipulative and won’t help and being disrespectful than no driving he sounds very immature, get a job and pay for gas or no driving

Sounds as though he’s found a “power” & will use it till you show him the boundaries.

Be the worst. Your the parent. I gey it from my 17 year old. Boo hoo I’m so bad he gets his first car fir free, an x box to play, a smart phone and a laptop. Don’t let him throw such shade on you. He’s dependant on you. Wie he gets mad. So what. I hear “this is why I wanna move out” psh… ok w/e. Let me know how that goes for ya.

Don’t give in to him, unless he works for it

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Sounds like a spoiled brat!!! How does one give in to that type of behavior!!! Wow :flushed: time for a reality check!

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You are his Parent, Not his Friend.

I don’t see a problem with him…i see a big one with you.

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Tell him driving is a privilege, not a right and until his attitude improves his privileges are revoked

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Reminds me when my grandma would just hand my son money all the time for no reason. He expected it from me and I told her make him earn it and now he does work around the house to to earn money for things he wants. You have to be the parent first friend last if he’s getting demanding remind him that when he’s got a job and can pay for the gas to constantly drive around or has his own car then that’s when he decides but that is your car , your gas , your money so its your decision if he’s mad at you oh well. He needs to respect you and hold your ground when you tell him no or to do chores etc before he can.

Seems that you are allowing him to parent you around. Are you afraid of him? My Mom would set us straight with one look. My child tries doing that to me and he better pray his life sentence at home is better than in a cell.

And look, it’s prime eligible, it can be in your hands by Sunday.

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You better buck up and stand up for yourself. Who is the parent here? He needs no explanation as to why you say no!

Psh I can tell you that if I acted this way with my parents I wouldn’t have ever gotten my license. Driving is a privilege, not a right. You’re the parent, stop giving your kid the control.

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YOU are the parent. HE is the child. He needs to appreciate the things he has and the things you both do as his parent’s, start RESPECTING you both, then maybe, he’ll earn the privilege of driving. Put your foot down! Giving into him every time isn’t preparing him for the real world. He’s 16. He KNOWS he’s guilt tripping you. He KNOWS exactly what he’s doing and what he has to do to get his way. You’re the adult, momma. Nip this now, before it gets worse.

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Last I checked, it’s your house, your car, your rules, and he’s your KID.

If he’s going to act like a toddler, he can be one. Buy him some adult diapers and tell him since he is suddenly acting like an infant, he gets all the luxuries of being one, no car, no license, no driving, no closing doors, bed at 8, no video games, only baby movies, and he can sit at the table until his mixing bowl of smashed peas has been eaten entirely.
Just because you get a permit, doesnt mean you’re entitled to drive. It only indicates you’re not stupid enough to kill someone going two blocks down to the grocery.
And definitely take the phone away. Toddlers dont have phones.

Take everything away from him. He can have a pillow and a blanket and books. Let him earn his things back with a better attitude and help around the house. But the temps are the last thing he gets back.
Good luck

Make a list of things for him to do around the house like taking out trash, doing dishes, cleaning his room, washing his clothes, and when he gets everything done he earns 30 minutes of drive time. He can either use it or save it up for longer practice times.
Or… :woozy_face::rofl:

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When you say teenage?

How old is he? Is he old enough to work? Have him go out and work?

And…. If my child ever called me that many times a day AT WORK…. He woulda lost EVERYTHING from the get-go.

That’s totally unacceptable.
But… some others have said… TAKE IT ALL AWAY… and make him earn it all back.

Who’s the parent here because it sounds like he’s running the show. This is a mess that’s likely the result of you guys letting him get away with bad behavior for years and years. You need to put your foot down and explain that him driving is a privilege, not a right and he needs to earn it. Take all his shit away and slowing let him earn things back one by one over several months. When he tests you and he will, take his shit all back again and again. He’ll eventually learn. You guys might want to consider family therapy as well. Stuff like this doesn’t just happen over night. Good luck, I hope it works out.

Sounds like you need some tough love. Maybe the two of you need a more united front.

Why is he allowed to be disrespectful to you with no consequences?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My teenage son has started demanding things from us: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

You gotta grow some balls my girl

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Don’t give in to him.

Tell him to get a job.