Need advice. I have a 2-year-old daughter and an eight-month-old girl. My two year old loves her sister, but cannot/will not share any toys. I yell I spank; I use timeout, I send her into another room with that toy because it’s not fair that my eight-month-old can’t touch anything. I don’t know what to do to make her share with her sister. My husband and I try playing with both of them with the same toy, and my two year old will not have it. Anybody else with this issue?
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She’s young hun she’s obv not at the stage to start sharing yet, just let her know she has too but disaplining so hard on a 2 year old proberly won’t work she’s a baby herself - try get them to bond together playing a game etc x
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I’ll be honest, I have the same issue with my 2 boys. But, as an adult, I don’t neccesarily like sharing things that are mine. So I do not force my children to share, instead, I simply ask my oldest to get his younger brother one of HIS toys. And that helps ALOT! It has actually made it to where my 3 year old, wants to share now. Itll get better momma! Best of luck!
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There’s no need to spank for not sharing. Being two years old, she doesn’t get the concept of sharing yet. A two year old is still a baby herself. Just because she’s a big sister doesn’t mean she intellectually understands everything. Two year olds don’t always get the concept of sharing.
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She’s a baby why are you spanking her ffs 
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Buy 2 of the same thing different colors
Yelling and spanking will only increase the bad behavior towards her sister. It will also cause more resentment towards her. She may see it at her fault that she got hit or yelled at. Individual attention may help. It’s usually caused my jealousy. There’re also sharing games that you can play. When she shares, praise her and make a big deal about it.
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She asked what to do about this situation, she’s not asking for advice on her parenting.
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Children dont generally learn to share until preschool age so after the age of 3. At 2 years they just haven’t made the neurological connections to understand why they should share as they dont understand the thought process for that. Stop hitting your child and learn about children before you do some permanent emotional damage!
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Remove the toy.
No matter if it takes them all hidden. Explain why. Don’t make it a battle. She’ll come around. 2 yro’s and being 1st born will do this for a period of time. Also don’t buy new toys. Keep interacting with your husband in sharing. Use verbal ques. Such as; “ would like to share my _______? And use please and thank you’s. Time will work . 
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Why should she have to? I don’t share my house, car, clothes, personal items with others if I don’t want to. Let her have things that are strictly hers (let her choose them) and don’t let the baby touch them. Teach her that some items belong to the whole family and everyone is allowed to touch them. It may comfort her to know she has some things that are hers and only hers.
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Spank? Just wait til the kids spank too 
it needs a different approach. Spanking way nogo
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Were the toys originally hers? If they were, stop and think about this. These are her most prized possessions. Toys are all that she values. She doesn’t understand clothes, or home, etc. Would you give your wedding ring to someone you just met and trust they would give it back? I’m betting not. She’s too young to reason this out, and punishment for it is not understood. She will start to not trust you. You give her best thing away, then spank her when she wants it back. That’s some serious trust issues there. Buy the younger child her own toys for now. Don’t throw away the older child’s because you have duplicate. Buy inexpensive toys for both kids. Give them to them at the same time in front of each other. Tell your older daughter this is for you, and this is your sisters. Don’t touch hers. If she keeps reaching , repeat don’t touch hers. After a little while introduce you can play with her toy if she can play with one of yours. That’s how sharing starts.
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You could cause resentment towards younger sister.
Why not try some praise? She is a baby too, they go through stages. Be patient. Teaching/learning is forever and repetitive
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That is really normal ( in my opinion) they are learning boundaries and what is theirs…plus there might be a little sibling jealousy going on… Once again…normal…
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As much as parents want their kids to share, the kids should also be allowed to have toys that are just theirs and no one else’s. Maybe have her pick some things she doesn’t want to share and stick with it. And let her also pick toys that she has to share.
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Y’all I got my ass handed to me as a kid when I did anything wrong. Then again I was raised by a woman whom was raised in a Catholic Church when nuns used to beat your ass.
I CAME OUT JUST FINE.
At least children who’ve gotten their butts beat don’t turn into snowflakes and oh my god everything offends me now at days.
Get over it and grow up.
If you don’t have a solution then keep scrolling. That’s her kid and she will discipline as she sees fit not how YOU SEE FIT!
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She is 2. Every kid goes through this phase.
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A new sibling is a huge change for a young child. Add that to being shouted at, hit and sent to her room for not sharing her toys and you’ve got yourself a recipe for some serious resentment.
First of all, two is too young to be expected to share in this way. It’s not something that comes naturally for most toddlers. It takes time to learn to share, and going about it in this manner will not facilitate it.
Secondly, please do not smack or physically discipline a two year old for not being emotionally ready to share.
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Get the baby his/her own toys and dont let the 2 year old touch them. Keep their toys separate. Let the 2 yr old play with her toys, and let the baby play with the babys toys. If the 2 year old wants to play with the babys toys, tell her she has to trade and let the baby play with one of her toys while she plays with the babys toy.
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I gave lots of praise for sharing behaviors on items that were meant to be shared. I let my daughter have a “no share pile”, of toys that she can keep to herself. That way she’s more willing and benevolent to share the other toys. If fights or arguments break out over toys, they go into to timeout box. To get toys back from the timeout box, you have to do 3 nice or helpful things for someone else
My 1 year old does that, I take the toy off him and give to other baby then tell him to be nice and share or say the big NOOO.
She’s 2 at 2 they get fustrated they really don’t get the consept of sharing as far as she’s concerned she was there first and there her toys I would get down to my kids level and talk or I would remove said toy and until she’s ready to play nicely with her sister then she won’t get it back she will get it eventually good luck
Me and my sister are 18 months apart. My mom use to have to buy 2 of everything
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First of all she’s still a baby herself. She’s still learning. I would suggest buying separate toys. That way she can feel as if “THIS IS MINE” so to speak. 
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Typical for that age, just keep showing and giving examples of sharing, she will eventually catch on. Do it all day long for as long as it takes. She will get there
Instead of spanking, timeout and sending her to another room why don’t you teach her?
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Not sharing is age appropriate, she doesn’t understand that the toys she knows are hers can be enjoyed by others. Most punishments, especially physical ones won’t make a difference in her mind when it comes to this. At the age of 2 kids are all about finding themselves in a more selfish way. Learning to share comes with age. I would either take the toy of interest away, get 2 of the same toy or find an activity that has many different parts to play with like a puzzle or cars on a track.
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spanking your child and hitting a child to hurt them and leave marks on them ARE NOT the same thing! so stop bitching about how she parents. thats her choice! butttt consistancy with how you deal with the situation will help you momma. shes two, yes - shes still young, but they do understand yes and no, and they do understand sharing when its taught to them. i have a two year ols myself, he and definitely know the difference between yes and no, and sharing. consistancy will definitely help! and ih btw i do spank my child as well. a lot of kids don’t respond well to just being told no, or to timeout. so you parent how your child needs! 
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She’s just being a two y/o who feels she has to share mommy and daddy with a new baby . Maybe she feels she shouldn’t have to share her toy too. In time she 'll grow out of it. Let her be big sister sometimes it’ll help with bonding.
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I’m having the same issue with my son who’s the same age !! All I do is tell him to share and he says no mom its mines 
! I’m like ok sharing is caring but he still refuses too so I just bought them the same toys and problem solved…why spank a 2 year old for sharing he or she is still a baby and dont get the word sharing as yet just keep trying and if it dont work out just let her enjoy her toys and buy similar ones! End of story
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hitting your child for not sharing will probably just make them associate sharing with pain so…
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Aww so I would not spank her that may resentment towards the younger one. Just keep tr yr ing to reiterate that it your baby sister and she wants to play also. Maybe even start buying two of the same things. When I was younger on one of myself or my siblings birthday we all got a gift. Not as much as the Birthday sibling but we still would get something. Children that young won’t understand sharing unless you keep showing them. When she gets a little older and understands maybe take the toy and let her know if she can’t share noone will play with it.
I have a 5 year old who doesn’t want to share with her two-year-old brother sometimes it’s perfectly normal and you shouldn’t be spanking her over that. Maybe you should separate toys and give her some they’re only for her so she could feel that she owns something and then a pile of toys where they both could share and those are the family toys. And you can’t expect a two-year-old to automatically be sharing.
Shes jealous and wants to be independent and you beat and punish her for it
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Its 2 thing. But, what we did was buy a toy specifically for the younger child and made the older sit and watch while we all played. The younger daughter brought the toy to her sister to play with after a few minutes. After that, no problems.
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My kiddos are 17 months apart and big sissy didn’t want to shared most the time, but if I asked her to get baby bubs a different toy to play with instead, that seemed to help. Sometimes she’d get a different toy for bubs or she’d hand over that toy and grab something else for herself.
Read up a bit around brain development at 2yrs old she’s not being naughty it’s normal for her to struggle sharing, 2yr olds are at the all about me stage. Love her up and keep encouraging her to share maybe old toys she doesn’t want to play with at that time or saying can the baby have a turn when you are finished. She’s not being naughty don’t punish her
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I have a 6 month old and a 3 year old. Neither of them like to share. They have their own toys and afew they know as sharing toys. We’re sticking with that for now. They are still allowed to have things that are only theirs 
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We do take turns and talk about why it would be nice to share as well as okay you play with it for x amount of time then sibling plays with it for x amount of time setting a timer helps with this but we also do if the toy was a gift and they don’t want to share then they have to play with it in their room by them selfs most of the time they would rather play together then alone. Just remember most people don’t willing like go up to people and say here use with this when they are using it them selfs. Good luck
We have a hard time with that but then our 4YO turns around and wants to play with all of our 12MO toys. We just give her the ultimatum she’s not allowed to touch anything of his unless she started sharing her toys and that seemed to work. Everyday is something different! They’ll grow out of sooner than we know.
Your youngest need age appropriate toys for her, separate from the 2 year olds toys.
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What I found helps my boys is having my oldest get his brother a toy to play with him. So if he’s playing with cars and his brother wants to play he’ll go get him his own. Also not making him share everything all the time helps him with boundaries. So he knows he doesn’t have to give everything to his brother, but he does have to play with him or get him his own toy to play like him.
I didnt make my kids share . Especially if the toy was a favorite of theirs.
We deal with the same shit with our 1 and 2 yo. The 2yo is the girl and she hates sharing. For the most part, she has her toys and he has his, but if shes completely doing something else and notices he has one of “her” toys and tries to come take it, that’s not allowed. Yes there’s a meltdown but when that happens, shes sent to calm down and she can come back when shes ready. The part that works is sending her to my room until shes ready to come back without a tantrum. Now instead of it being a 10 min meltdown, she usually only goes in for a few seconds and then comes out and “ok mommy I’m done now” and goes on with what she was doing.
I have the same issue with my boys I find that playing with both of them with the same toys tends to help but every child is different xx
My daughter is 2, but she is the youngest of my 3, and she has a hard time sharing with her big brothers. I think It’s just the age. They don’t yet understand the concept of fair. When my girl acts this way, I just tell her that her brothers aren’t going to play with her if she won’t share her toys with them. Sometimes she gives in, sometimes she doesnt.
She’s young! She’s still learning. Are you teaching and showing her about sharing or are you just spanking and yelling?? I have an almost 2 year old and he doesn’t like to share either so I am teaching and showing him. Find some patience Mama
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This isn’t going to be the most favorite comment. But she 2, they don’t understand at the age what sharing is yet. Really your yelling, spanking her and sending her to her room at the age of 2. In my eyes ur not teaching them anything but favoritism. You need patience when it comes to ur kids. You just talk to them and sit and play with them and show them how to share. But sending ur 2 year old to her room? Seriously? She doesn’t even understand why u did that 
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That is normal behaviour for a 2 year old, don’t stress it will be well soon
My oldest is 4 almost 5 she started out like that because anyone else who played with her stuff ruined it or broke it. She still has many special toys that she will not let anyone play with, because the younger kids dont know how to take care of them. I think about it just like me, I have important things, camera, phone, computer, jewelry, etc. That I dont want broken so I dont let my younger kids play with.
She shouldn’t have to share with a baby. The baby wont care, she’s too young to understand share.
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Do not yell or spank !!! Teach.
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I watch Lyle the kindly Viking (veggietales episode) with my 2 year-old and now he loves to share. It’s all about sharing and how good it feels to be nice to others and how sharing makes you friends! Plus veggietales are super cute and fun for little ones anyway. Now He will randomly bring toys to his little brother or his friend and say “awww share”. Now, he still has his moments… it’s about 50/50 tbh. But that is totally normal for a 2 year old, you just have to be persistent. Also, spanking should be a last resort punishment IMO. I really only “spank” my child when he hits another child, or his baby brother.
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Poor child. She’s being punished, violently, for age appropriate behaviour. This will also harm the relationship with the baby.
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2 years old is too young to expect her to share.
I think that expecting a 2-year-old to share is a little much. And punishing a toddler, especially with spanking, who doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand sharing doesn’t seem fair.
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I don’t agree with the actions you are taking because she isn’t sharing and I 100% do not think you should be hitting your child that is just wrong and disgusting behaviour . You need to sit down and explain why she should share tell her it’s not nice to not share and that they can play together, She could be doing this for a reaction she had you all to herself and then suddenly she’s got a baby sister.
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Role model sharing, give lot of compliments while doing so. Also…
Let them know how long they can have the toy (30 sec), set a timer if needed. Then have them give the toy to their sibling.
Never grab or snatch the toy from their hands.
Should not be hurting your kid for not sharing a damn toy…
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If she refuses to share, take the toy and either say no one can have it, or the baby can only have it. I had the same problem with my boys and that’s what I did and it took time but they’re 5 and 3 now and my oldest is amazing about sharing, it’s my younger one I have the problem with now lol when they have the toy taken away when they won’t share it helps to teach them that if you’re not nice, this is going to happen
Yeah, stop hitting your 2 year old because shes 2 and doesnt understand what you expect of her.
God.
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I 100% think a 2 year old can learn how to share. They’re very impressionable and they’re sponges.
I also smack and yell at my 2 year old.
These people telling you that 2 years olds are too young to know how to share but are old enough to be spoken to in a uniform matter about their actions… absolute twats
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She IS 2. Wvery child deserves to keep their own toys. Take the two yeat old to the store to buy a couple toys to share. At 2 they DO NOT understand sharing. It will not be until they are both old enough to understand the art of sharing. Yes, I raised my own kids and taught for 37 years. You still need to work on the sharing thing, but punishment over it isn’t necessary unles the 2 just starts taking everything from the little.
I would just take it away and tell her if she can’t share we don’t play with it.
I wouldn’t expect it and I definitely wouldn’t yell or spank, I wouldn’t let her be ugly to or hurt her sister either but I would let her have her space and more so try to preoccupy the 8 month old with different toys in a different area. She’ll come around when she gets older, encourage sharing but do not force it. It has to be a two way street, in my experience an 8month old doesn’t approach another child and ask nicely for a toy, mostly they snatch, grab and over take because they’re just babies and also have no concept of sharing, if you wouldn’t let your 2yo do it to your 8m old you can’t let your 8m old do it to your 2yo. She’s too young.
OMG. You actually hit your child!!! .
Do you even have a brain or a care… Violence in any form is unacceptable and just promotes more violence. You are teaching a toddler that it is ok to hit! I feel utterly disgusted at this and I hope that someone that you know sees this post and reports you to child services. You do not deserve children.
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Stop bloody well forcing her, eight month is a baby, and has no concept, two year old you are confusing , and creating big problems in the future…FGS
2 year olds aren’t in the mind frame to share just yet, their development level is “me” right now. Stop punishing, spanking, etc. You are confusing them! You have to slowly teach them & they arent developmentally ready for that yet. Do not teach a toddler that it is ok to hit! You need to learn bout child development before punishing and spanking a toddler over not sharing.
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Shes 2. She has to share you and dad. Maybe if you played with her alone she wouldn’t associate it so bad.
WHY IS AN 8 MONTH OLD PLAYING WITH A TOY FOR A 2 YR OLD haha
Don’t spank! You are teaching violence. It’s difficult, calm down & explain what’s happening. If it’s stressing you the kids will feed off it. take a breath & be rational, that’s what you’re trying to teach
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At 2 year old, just work with her and explain what is means to share and help her. If she is yanking toys from your 8 month old I say pop her hand but also explain that the little one is playing with it and when she is done she can play with it. You can also get toys that both can play with or two of each so they are playing with the same toy. There is also a age difference in the toys either one can play with. So be careful of that. It will take time for her to understand, just be patient. You got this!!
Toddlers are not capable of understanding the concept of sharing
Please stop punsihing her because she doesn’t understand what she did wrong.
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I have a 3 year old and almost 2 year old and oh the fights we have in this house honestly she’s 2!! TWO YEAR OLDS DON’T SHARE WILLINGLY!!! You have to teach her and not by spanking!!! You literally have to take whatever she has taken from her sister and say " no we can share our toys"!!!
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Take the toy away. 
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Your kid is two… shes not gonna share. Stop hitting and explain…
Mom of 4
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My girls didn’t have my toys. They have our toys and never had a problem with it. Now their teenagers and have their on stuff but as toddlers/school aged it was both of their toys and we never had an issue.
Yall people need to stop telling this woman not to hit her child… there is a difference between “hitting” and “spanking”… she can do what she wants with her child… too many parents now a days dont do shit to discipline their children… my child is almost 9months old and he gets spanked on the butt and popped on the hand when he does stuff he shouldn’t and when he gets popped or spanked I always tell him no so he can learn… either start early and take control of your kids or dont and let them run all over you… You go mama discipline you’re child how you see fit and dont listen to these others… as for sharing,that’s her normal behavior for a 2yr as she gets older she’ll listen and understand more,just keep trying,sometimes buying 2 of the same toy helps aswell and you can teach her stuff like"this is yours and that’s sissys" that way to help her understand what she has is hers and vice versa momma
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Punishing her for not sharing will only make her resent her sister and using physical punishment she will use on the younger sibling.
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My 2 yo boy doesn’t share anything. And takes away anything and everything from my 5 yo daughter
I recommend doing a toy swap. Thats what I do with my daughter, she is interested in the new baby toys, and if she doesn’t want to share I ask her can baby play with your toy then you can choose one of baby’s toys to play with!
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If my 2 year old takes a toy from my 7 month old I make her replace it with something else!
2 year olds are yet able to share and spanking a toddler is totally inappropriate. Also all the toys are hers, right? Do yousbare your toys with your2 year old?
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A two year old is still a baby remember she is sharing both of you with the intruder at some point it will settle try to get her to believe it was her idea to share a toy she chose with her sister praise her for the gesture with cuddles and kisses worth a try
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My youngest two constantly fight over toys. I sit them both down and explain that is more fun to play with the toy together than it is to play by yourself. If they continue to fight over it, I take it away and tell them if they can’t share with each other, no one gets to play with it.
Went through this.
I gave my youngest a tub of eldest toys and explained to eldest that they couldn’t play with them unless we were sharing.
The anger was real. The frustration was enormous, but it worked. The eldest hating seeing the youngest play with their toys and quickly learnt to share.
Actually this is a great sign . It shows that they are on track developmentally . And it is when kids gain an understanding of themselves and other people as separate individuals so that’s okay for now lol by the time she is 3 or 4 she will learn to share .
It’s the me and mine stage for toddlerhood . Very normal and okay 
It seems as punishing her is not working. Try taking the toy away and telling her that she can have it back once she’s learned to share. Works with my babys everytime
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Dose your 8th month old have toys that the two yr old wants to play with. I think you know where I’m going with this
Find a toy your 8th month old has that the two yr old wants to play with Tell her she don’t have to share if the two yr don’t
This is a normal development in your child.
Your expectations are too high for a toddler. Please don’t expect so much
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Use language like baby toys and big girl toys.
Your kids should have their own toys. Kinda bs you’d make them share toys.
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She will grow out of it. Just keep reinforcing and correcting. All toddlers love mine mine mine. If your younger one has a toy and she tries to take it, put the toddler on a time out while leaving the toy with the younger one. When shes done with time out have her play with a different toy and explain sharing. You’ll be doing it over and over for years but she’ll get it.
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It is the age they don’t understand what sharing until may be 4 and half so hard sharing .good luck
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Toddlers dont learn to share till about 3. Google the ‘toddlers creed’ poem. It will tell ya lol
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Commen issue. I got to the point where I buy toys that are just hers (6F), and some for just him (3M), and some that are shared. This way they get to have control over their toys but know there are some they have to share. I find that some things they want to be just theirs, like us with our stuff, and if they have that safety net that they are allowed to say no, I dont want to share my bear, she is more likely to share other things. When they wont play nice with the shareable toys, time out and the other gets to keep playing. Its a work in progress, but it seems to work.
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Is it possible to have a space that is just hers, where she can have her special toys that her sister isn’t allowed to touch? Then explain that everything else is to be shared. Let her help choose what’s to share and what’s just hers and then keep her things in her space. She will get out of it I’m sure
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Currently going through the same thing. Just let big sissy be but always remind her to be nice to her sister and thats her best friend forever
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