We teach turn taking rather than sharing. Developmentally at 2 kids don’t play together - at best you may get parallel play. As an adult you aren’t expected to share your things if you are using them (if you are in the middle of writing something and only have one pen is it acceptable for someone to come and say you have to share and take it before you are finished?!). If there is more than one of a particular toy then yes share (e.g if they have crayons they have to share them they can’t use all of them at once) but if not then take turns. This for us means the child that has the toy keeps the toy until they put it down to play with something else. Then it is someone else’s turn.
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Shes 2:roll_eyes:
dont spank for not sharing
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The best way I’ve been told to share by a professional was to let a child play with one till done and then let the other. Sharing is best done when its voluntary, forcing someone to share can make them want to not do it even more as they grow up. I was also told it’s best not to interrupt a very young child playing unless necessary because it’s good for their cognitive skills and mental development
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Oh it will happen! My girls were enemies until the Barbie stage and now they are best friends ! 16 months apart and now 4 and almost 3 years old! Once the younger one catches up they hopefully will do the same! My youngest up until about 6 months ago would wake up at the butt crack of dawn just so she could play with her toys without them getting taken from her
I hope you do know that sharing isn’t a must in life … You don’t share 100% of anything they don’t have to either.
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Whose toy is it? The 8 month old should have age appropriate toys . As should the 2 year old. 2 laundry baskets . These are yours , these are your sisters.
Many 2 year olds, but not all of them, do not understand sharing and are still doing side by side play. And typically do not play with another child.
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Honestly at that age I just kept there toys separately. Now at 5&3 they share toys for the most part but they are sisters and they do have there limits and still fight like cats and dogs.
This just really made ne angry…no need to hit a 2 year old for not sharing…put your 8 month old in a different room with her own toys.
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Try doing nothing but making her sit and watch her sister play with positive reinforcement. “See it’s nice to share” “look sister isn’t going to hurt anything.” Ask her if she would like to play something else until sister is done and then she can have the you back. All to often we scream and spank and we send them away. But is that showing them the behavior we would like them to exhibit? No it isn’t. Why not let her be sad she has to share let her be angry and soother her thru it. She’s go anxiety about this new human and not someone’s saying she has to share something that’s been hers until recently which is confusing she’s having natural human emotions allow her to.
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It’s our job to help our children deepen their care and awareness of others. But the way we generally approach sharing backfires.
Here’s a typical scene involving preschoolers: One child is busily engaged with a toy when a new child comes up and wants it. A nearby adult says: “Be nice and share your toys,” or “Give Ella the pony. You’ve had it a long time.”
What happens? The child is forced to give something up and her play gets interrupted.
She learns that sharing feels bad. It’s the parent who’s sharing here, not the child.
Traditional sharing expects young kids to give up something the instant someone else demands.
Yet we don’t do this ourselves. Imagine being on your cell phone when somebody suddenly comes up and asks for your phone or takes it from you. “I need to make a phone call,” he says. Would you get mad?
As adults, we expect people to wait their turn. We might gladly lend our phone to a friend or even a stranger, but we want them to wait until we’re done. The same should apply to kids: let the child keep a toy until she’s “all done.” It’s turn-taking. It’s sharing. But the key is it’s child-directed turn-taking.
Here’s what it looks like in real life. Instead of YOU saying “Five more minutes, then it’s Ella’s turn” teach your child to say “You can have it when I’m done.”
Maybe some parenting books on effective parenting. Spanking a 2 year old? All you’re teaching is ok for adults to hit you.
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Never happens lol. Seriously my 1 2 and 4 year old rarely share. But just keep reminding them or show big sister how to share and explain why. Lots of repeating yourseld. Eventually they may get it
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Who the fuck spanks and screams at a baby? Get help for yourself and maybe your kids will respond better. Clearly the cogs aren’t connecting properly for you.
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I understand where you’re coming from. My little cousin (3) tries to do it to our daughter. Like he will really go around and pick up alll the toys so she cant play with them. Even her toys. So yeah. We just make him play with his own and not touch hers.
My 2 year old doesn’t have a problem with sharing with her brother. This child will share anything with anyone. Random stranger? HAVE A FRENCH FRY! My 17 month old however i have to work on. He’s a brute. But you have to understand that they are young. She isnt going to want to share.
And yall adult saying you don’t share are sad.
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She’s probably acting out because you are yelling and spanking. Obviously it doesn’t work. Set aside one on one time, talk to her and stop spanking because your 2 year old is acting like a 2 year old.
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Your toddler is acting like a toddler… give your baby another toy. At that age, they don’t care what it is.
My kids don’t share all the time and they honestly don’t have to. They have their own toys and if they choose to share have at it but I don’t obligated them to share everything. It’s not a bad thing to have your own things.
When my boys were this age ( they are only 3 and 1 now) I would ask the 2 year old to get a toy for the baby. And tell him that the toys he had he could play with and the toys he gave the baby only baby could play with. He seemed happier about it. Didn’t make a big deal. If he wanted a toy the baby had I would say no we chose these for the baby. And the baby didn’t care because. He just wanted to play with anything lol🤣
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You shouldn’t hit a 2 year old ever… especially over natural and normal behaviors. 
You shouldn’t hit kids in general.
Kids at this age don’t like or understand how to share. They want to play with everything. It’s not of of greed or cruelty… it’s just a typical 2 year old.
Just talk to them and designate toys specifically for the baby. If they play with it, that’s okay, but they can’t take it from the baby or leave the baby without a toy.
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When you say “share” are you referring to her being possessive over all the toys that her sister can not play with them at all or that the younger one trys to play with the toy her sister is already playing with and then the 2 year doesn’t want to give said toy up? If its the latter thats 100% okay. If its the first scenario, let her know she can play with the toy after her sister (and make you enforce the same rule with the younger). Let her know she can have it later and try to offer something different. If she starts in with a tantrum/anger, time her out and explain to her why.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts have a beautiful 2yr old great grand child who gets angry if some one touches her toys and will say, "leave it. Its mine. So believe sharing is caring, but now reading peoples views, gave me a lot of understanding, thankyou
I don’t agree with the aspect of sharing. Taking turns, yes. Taking turns and sharing are different. Look into it. As adults we do not have to share. Sharing is a developmental milestone. Dont force you kids to share. It’s so wrong. They will share eventually. What is happening right now is totally normal and it’s also teaching your youngest a valuable lesson. Think about when they are older. Your youngest is just going to have melt downs and frustrations when the kids at school don’t share? Well news flash that’s life. Sharing is empathy and empathy comes way later in their childhood. What you are doing is developmentally and emotionally damaging to your children. Look up Janet lansbury. Shes a genius. Read a book or two or google this. Again…taking turns…not “sharing”.
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It’s very common for 2 year olds to not want to share my sister has five kids at that age none of them wanted to share. It will get better as they get older just have their toys and keep them separate if they get older and fight over the toy taking it from both will solve the situation tell them if they can’t share then either one of them gets it but for now its actually normal. to be honest and 8 month old and too little to be playing with half of the two year olds toys it’s a safety hazard on some of them they could choke. All you can do is encourage them with rewards say if you share you’ll get a treat like a piece of candy
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I have a 2 yr old and a 1 yr old both girls and I completely understand they will not share for shit! And I’ve finally come to realize that it’s just part of sisterhood and there will be times … a lot of times they don’t share but keep doing what your doing and in courage sharing. On the rare occasions my 2 yr old does share with her sister me and my husband praise her and let her know she is a good big sister and that makes her feel like a big girl and good big sister. Good luck. Don’t let all these anti-spankers make you feel less then a good mother. As long as your not abusing your child and pat on the butt is sometimes necessary depending on the situation.
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Your 2 year old shouldn’t have to share their toy with the baby. Give the baby her own toy
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No need to bash the mother shes trying to ask for help you ignorant bitches
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she does probably feel attached and its the one thing she can control. So much in our young ones lives they hear the words no, stop, etc. But you need to stop and think why that upsets them, we control most of their lives and when they are told no they dont understand why and its frustrating. My suggestion is to buy the baby a couple of the same toys as your toddler to show her that when the baby plays with those toys its okay, its not broken or gone forever, and most importantly she will realize that when ahe shares she will get it back. I use the saying, You can have a turn, and then I’ll get it back" works great! Good luck mama!
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Usually i would just cruise past the post and its comments but i want to say- momma there is nothing wrong with you punishing your child. Please do not question yourself over some of these comments.
As for the babies. I would for now have them have separate toys. Tell 2yr old she has her toys and when she cant share with sissy, she cant touch sissys toys . As they get older keep promoting and make a BIG deal about it when she does share! Make that a bigher deal make her feel super good about sharing with her sister! (: hope that helps.
I have a 4yr old girl and a 2 month old boy. I think the age difference may help too. My baby girl wants to do and share everything with her brother.
But her and her sister (step) they are both 4 and they do well but have their issues
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Its a phase
It will past
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Hi! I have a just turned 3year old and an 8 month old . Same issues hahah sharing 
my 3 year old has very special toys and then other toys so I say to her Charlie bob and vanilla are just for you those are your special toys the rest of the toys we should try take turns . If she wants something her baby sister has I say ok 2 minutes then it’s your turn but get her another toy to play with . That seems to help no fighting . Good luck I know it’s tough right now but it’ll get easier
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Teach her to play beside her sister before she has to share with her sister x
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If she has the toy, she shouldn’t have to share. Now if there 8 month old gets the toy first, of course teach the 2 year old that she can’t take it from her either. But to teach her to give up what she’s playing with, that’s asking a lot of a 2 year old and can possibly build resentment
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My niece turned 2 in july and she still has trouble remembering sometimes. We have to be on her to share constantly. She will sometimes say no and then we have to keep on her and just say you give your sister the toy and you can have it again when she is done. Etc. Etc. Sometimes it is easier than other times but she’s definitely learning and starting to understand.
Dont let her play with any toys period!!!
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Make a share bucket and her only bucket.
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Anthony Nollen Jr. Read Post and Comments
You send your two-year-old daughter into another room with the toy that she will not share with her sister. Sounds like your two-year-old just won.
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Sounds like your toddler needs other time for kids. Start taking her to play with other kids her age. Public library is a good example. They desperately need time with kids their age so they can learn to play and be nice! You would be surprised at the toddlers that don’t play well with other because they’ve never had to.
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first of all you dont yell at or spank a 2 yr old shame on you. and 2nd you dont make kids share. do you share your stuff with ur siblings or friends? what if someone walked up to u and said it wasn their turn to use your phone or car? u would think they were nuts. imagine how a 2 he old feels. when they get older they will share if they want
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Just keep doing what you are doing. The ones who are getting mad over you spanking your child just need to get over themselves. This is why most parents have problems disciplining their children when they are older.
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I buy two of the same exact toy for my kids and they will still fight for toys… it’s normal for siblings… i dont think your 2yo have to share if she doesn’t want to… ask her nicely to share and if she did make sure to positively reinforce the behavior like praises etc., (sharing)… if she doesn’t share then she shouldn’t be punished for it, it is her toy in the first place…
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Teach before you punish. I definitely understand spanking but it’s just not something that really works in a scenario like this. they are just growing human beings and it’s always going to be tough and if you exhibit gentleness and kindness with a little sternness mixed in I promise you it’ll get better. Spanking I just think it’s a really short-term solution for situations like this. As a parent you are basically a teacher and a guide. Hypothetically speaking if your child was in daycare or in school- You probably would not like the idea of her protectors and teachers spanking her when she’s learning things.
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Spankings should be a last resort punishment if you must use it. And for not sharing is over the top. Also at two the baby doesn’t have the mind set to understand why she is being spanked so shes only going to learn that if someone does something you do not like then you can just hit them. Soon you may be a poster about curbing hitting in siblings.As far as sharing if the baby had it first you have her give it back. If she continues to go after it you separate her and give her something else to play with and make her wait her turn. If she continues to go after it you place her in a safe area and have her take a 2 min break. And repeat till she catches on. My 15 NC month old shares with my five year old. Its a repetative learning process.
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They say 2yr old don’t have the mental capacity to share so it comes with age n it bein taught
First of all dont feel horrible when everyone says spanking and yelling is bad. We dont know your life. Everyone has their own way of raising children. I have the same issues with toys with my little ones. This whole dont teach them to share in my opinion is a way of spoiling the kid. What I try to do is teach them to share,take turns or play together. If they fight over the toy I take it away. They forgot about it and grab something else. It take patience but like everyone tells me they are always gonna fight about something and everything. Good luck
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Make them. You’re the boss. End of story.
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When you buy toys start saying this is to share for both of you ? It may help if she hears n understands ? If she still continues then I always took toy n put up mine seen it n wanted NOPE NOT UNTIL YOU CAN SHARE WAS MY REPLY- no spanking just consistent n reinforce what you want them to do ;") yes gets tiring but does work mine 29,20 now n got grandkids
My two year old is the same he doesn’t know how to share but he’s never really had to share with anyone before so that’s why he’s not used to it… if she doesn’t want to share just take what she has from her and put her in time out of show her if your sister can’t play you can’t play either…
If you can’t share now, then you can play with it later… then let the other child play. If tantrum ensues, quiet time/corner etc. consistency with both of them on this will help, but it will be a battle for a couple of weeks until child sees you don’t give in.
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My solution was to have them each pick out 5 toys they don’t have to share with anyone. The rest were up for grabs. After all, I have things I don’t and won’t share too
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Spanking a 2yo for not sharing? Boy are you gonna seriously fuck those kids up! If you have to spank a toddler then you’re pathetic.
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I feel like if you keep encouraging her eventually she will get it. My girls were the same with their brother.
Cant you f9nd a way to teach her using positive reinforcement instead?
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Get a toy out. Set a timer and say, “when the timer goes off you will give this you to your sister to play with and you will go find another toy.” See what happens. If she doesn’t comply you simply take the toy away, and you walk away. Don’t say anything. She might not understand words yet but she will understand that her toy is gone. Do it over and over and over , the same way every time until it clicks. And when she does give the toy to her sister, make a big deal about how she is the sweetest, kindest girl you know. Hug and kiss her and make her feel like she did the best thing…because she did!!
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I’d say the toy that she will not share. Don’t let her go into the other room to play with it by yourself. Take it from her until she agrees to share it with her baby sister.
spank for not sharing 
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I took the toys away from mine when she refused to share. Told her if she don’t share she don’t play with it either. And I keep taking it away til she gives up being rude about it.
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Buy two of the toys that you want them to share. She is to young to get sharing
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Yelling and spanking will accomplish nothing positive. Get a grip of your parenting. A 2 year old is not ready to understand sharing fully. Try encouragement and teaching if you want any results with your child
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I want your car…it doesn’t matter that you’re driving it or need it…I want it right now!!! If you don’t give it to me I’m going to scream at you and kick your ass!
Don’t like the idea? Of course you don’t. Why should your two year old have to give up something she is playing with at the moment just because the baby wants it? Want her to resent her little sister/brother? Or think mommy loves the baby more than them…because mommy always let’s the baby have want it wants? That’s where your headed! A two year old doesn’t even have a grip on why they feel how they feel. Maybe you should learn to control your own behavior and learn to be nice to your little one. You are being unreasonable.
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You have to practice “your turn, my turn” with them. Play with one toy, and give it to your oldest, and say it’s YOUR TURN. Now you tell him it’s MY TURN, and play with the toy. If you want, you can include the baby in on it. That way, when the baby is playing with the older baby’s toy, you can let him know that it’s BABY’S TURN. I have a 3 year old, and twin 20-month olds. It’s starting to sink in with my oldest, and now I have to work on the twins. He sees they are playing with something that is his, and it seems like he says in his mind, “it’s their turn”. I don’t focus much on sharing (as in him giving to them), because they have the attention spans of goldfish. He’ll abandon the toy, one of the twins picks it up, life goes on. And like everything they do positively. I say “Thank you for sharing! That was so kind of you!” We have our good days and off days, but I think he’s starting to get it.
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Negative reinforcement will not work. Have certain toys that only bel and ng to the 2 year old and then other stuff that is share toys. If they dont share, use time out. 1 minute for each year of age. At 2, kids are still very impulsive and jealous. It will get better, but still have things tre that are solely their own.
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Spanking a two year old because they are acting their age? I’m not one to judge, but that seems a little crazy to me. I dont believe in spanking any child no matter the age. Some will say it toughens them up, but we dont live in the world our parents/grandparents did. This is 2020, I wouldn’t openly admit to hitting my children
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Absolute positive reinforcement when she does do something good towards the baby helps…I have a 2 yrs Granddaughter and 11month Granddaughter and for awhile it was bad but praising her works for me.
Holy fuck. Everything about this post is upsetting.
Why do you force your child to share? Regardless if it’s with her sibling. Yelling and spanking do absolutely nothing on a 2 year old, they don’t understand that what they are doing is ‘wrong’. Do you have separate toys for them to play with? This will help when you take the time to explain which toys belong to whom. It will take time but they’ll learn with positive reinforcement not yelling and screaming.
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A lot of judgement here from mothers to another mother. Terrible. Admin should turn this one off. Disgusting.
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I can’t even begin to list the differences between adults and children. If, as an adult you don’t want to share there are reasons such as we don’t just give our house or car to anyone. Children, however are to be nurtured and taught how to be citizens of the world. They are sponges for knowledge from the moment they breathe oxygen. I’m not going to comment on this Mom’s choices, but to all of the responses comparing adult feelings to those of a 2 year… there is no comparison.
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Punishment does NOT work on young children. It is useless and does not teach them anything. Especially if the behaviour you want to encourage is sharing.
Always come from a place of empathy. “I know sharing is hard and I can see you are upset” I would sit down with her when she is relaxed and rested (so she’s actually able to understand and learn) and explain your expectations.
It will take time, but you need to be understanding. Two is very young and we need to adjust our expectations to what those little people are actually able to give us. I would try to have her choose a few toys that she does NOT have to share. Those are hers and her sister can’t touch them without permission. The rest are everyone’s toys.
Dont yell or spank stupid. She is only 2 years old
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They arent required to share…
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If they were her toys for 2 years and now suddenly she has to share them, then I think you are 100% in the wrong here.
If they are toys that are specifically the baby’s and she is trying to take them and claim them, then that is different.
I personally would have a toddler toy bin and a baby toy bin and explain her toys are hers and baby’s are baby’s. And work on that consistently with lots of reinforcement and redirection for BOTH kids. The toddler has gone through major changes and is probably already feeling resentful she is sharing mommy and daddy and is just looking for SOMETHING she has control over.
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I never understood teaching the concept of sharing. If something is theirs, then it’s theirs and the child should be under no pressure to share personal space or toys. There are other ways to teach teamwork and cooperation with peers.
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Wow so much judgement and negativity on a young Mother.
A 2 year in fact CAN understand sharing. They can be taught. In fact a normal developing 10 month old baby has the cognitive ability to understand the word no.
My kids shared. They still do. Do they have rough moments? Yes. But they learn from those moments. They’re best friends. Do they get along perfectly? Heck no. But thats life, and they learn. This young Mother asked for advice, not to be bashed.
Yes, I went to college for Early Childhood education. I was also a preschool teacher for a long time. And a Mother for over a decade now. But this is my opinion from my own experiences.
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Don’t make her share. 
Sharing is not always caring. Let her have a cubby/closet of stuff that is hers alone that she doesn’t have to share.
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With my kids I had my oldest over a trade to my youngest. I made him try to offer her a new toy and see if she would take it. However, I did tell him that if she didn’t give it up that he couldn’t just take it from her and would have to wait his turn.
I actually work in ECE and you’d be surprised how much the little ones learn. Lead by example, and be patient with the process. Encouragement will also help, just give her a little time.
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Honestly your toddler not wanting to share doesn’t really warrant punishment she’s to young to understand and sharing her toys clearly upsets her. Maybe encourage her to play with her sister? Like teaching her sister how to stack blocks, roll a ball, flip pages in a book stuff like that? And sometimes letting it be is also okay, nobody is obligated to share things all the time but then encourage/teach her to find another toy that she thinks her sister will enjoy playing with. Age appropriate toys are also key and should definitely minimise the not wanting to share issue. Being two isn’t an easy age for our little ones and it can definitely be a frustrating age for us as parents but guidance and understanding over punishment will go a long way. A new sibling in the house is bound to make things slightly more difficult no matter what the age but with some time, patience and lots of love from you as parents it will get there.
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Sharing and expecting one child to give up things for the other are completely different, Sharing is a willingness to give and play together, Forcing her to hand things over is you telling your 2 year old her things are not hers and she has no choice in who takes them, Which makes her willingness to share that much less…
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That’s a normal stage in their development. When my daughter was seen by a specialist she was asking me if she reached that stage where her favourite world is no and absolutely refuses to share things…!? Because I said No she had concerns! So we had to monitor her and observe of she reaches that milestone!
Absolutely nothing wrong with refusing to share, is what a 2 year old should do.As parents is our duty to teach them by example and guide them through the whole process!!!
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She’s struggling to adjust to having a sibling, and not having all of yours/dad’s attention. She does not deserve to be punished for this! Set aside a few special toys just for your oldest (that she doesn’t have to share) in her room. Try and work something out to spend one on one time with her. Talk with her about her responsibility and your expectations of her as a big sister. Help her adjust.
If she takes a toy she has to make sure she offers a replacement kids should share and she will eventually just hang in there because they’re sisters today it’s toys one day it will be clothes or mom’s car lol believe me i have 4 of them and maaannn i love them but it gets crazy lets just say that she is still young and if you don’t teach her though she will be THAT kid all these other judgy moms hate to have over because she won’t share with Their kids. Anyways also wow yea super judgy guys… stay positive it will pass and you’ll get it good luck! !(edited. Wrong mom group lol)
Maybe a good way to introduce her to the concept would be to ask her to find a toy she would like to share and go from there
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Y’all so judgemental jesus…we all struggle and this momma obviously is and is asking for help for a reason
Does unfiltered mean this Is a group of hateful ass bitches
I don’t think spanking is gonna solve the issue.Setting positive example work better than raising you hand on a 2 year old. Then again that’s what they do. N it’s normal.
Gonna follow cuz I’m struggling with the same issue and I want to read comments later my kids are 1 and 5. Though.
My nephew does this to my daughter. He is 3. She is almost a year. He plays with her toys but throws a fit when she wants to play with his. So we calmly explained to him that if she is not allowed to play with his toys, he will be banned from playing with any of hers. Worked. And now they play together with all the toys all over the place… and I have to clean up lol🙈
And for all the mothers saying that they cannot understand at that age, please go do some research about how babies are born with the abilities to be taught and learn things. Don’t force her to share- I agree with that. But she is capable of learning.
What can the 8 month old really be playing with? Developmentally they are very unlikely walking, still crawling around and most likely be shoving everything in their mouths
Spanking the child over not sharing their toys that’s been theirs for 2 years seems a little ridiculous get your other kid their own age appropriate toys and teach sharing in a more positive way by getting them their own toys bins and letting them work on it with your guidance not shoving them in their room for ot listening