Leave her and don’t look back! She cheated not only on you but her family! Get the test done. What she says doesn’t matter.
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He has to decide only he knows the nature of the relationship
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Wait. She said she would leave if you do a paternity test?! Wow. She is taking ZERO responsibility for the consequences of her actions. And blaming you for her infedelity. Leave her ass and get custody of your son. Being a single parent is far better than being treated like shit.
We can all sit here and tell u what to do… at the end you already know what you’ll do so i am just going to say congrats on The new baby.
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That baby def isn’t yours because of the timeline idc I would leave
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If it is something that hurts you why stay? She apparently made her bed when she chose to have sex with the other guy. To hurt your feelings is just childish and an excuse. Leave let her deal with consequences as long as your child feels loved you can co-parent
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Don’t let her manipulate you , don’t be dumb , you’re strong , don’t let a woman play you a like a fool . You deserve more. Get the DNA test , don’t fall into her threats if she really leaves you she don’t love you . You deserve to know . She owns it to you anyway , she should be the one doing everything in her power to rekindle the relationship
Do what you feel is right!! Do the DNA test. You need to know… you deserve an honest relationship. If you can’t trust her ever again it best to part ways. Trust,honesty and communication is a big part in a relationship! Good luck
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Leave and move on!! Your son will turn out better without you being together, instead of seeing a miserable marriage! Trust me!
You need to give yourself more respect, her giving an ultimatum is ridiculous, remember she’s the one who messed up.
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I say do the DNA test. So she doesnt try to put child support on u for a child that might not even be yours!.
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She already knows the answer and you deserve better. Better to split and be in two different happy homes then one unhappy home. Children feed off the energy around them.
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Depends on how much you love her & are able to get over her decite. Can you bring up another child not knowing if he is yours. You both need counciling to move forward & try and have the loving relationship you once had.
Sir, this is a disaster. Your wife doesn’t respect you and you staying is just giving her more incentive to keep shitting on you. She’s already trying to manipulate you into staying by denying you a DNA test, which you have every right to ask for. You will be better off leaving her for the sake of your son. He will be much better off NOT being raised in a toxic/miserable/unhealthy environment. I guarantee he will do better with you guys NOT being together. That woman does NOT love you.
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I’m not one to judge because there’s always 2sides…But no matter any marriage goes through that is a level of no return, Some men don’t see their WORTH!!! either not just women
Only you know what’s best
Peace on to you:pray:t4:
Allah
Leave her, file for divorce and custody. Not full custody. Let her be a weekend parent since during the week she wants to get her freak on with another dude. She has NO RIGHT giving you that ultimatum. Get a DNA test. There’s no sense in punishing yourself for her actions. Children growing up in split households isn’t ideal, but then they’ll eventually have two bonus parents to love them as well.
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Wow well truthfully her telling you that she would leave you if you do a DNA test is some bullshit right there. She is the one who effed up and cheated. It’s your right to do a DNA test before you put your name as father in that birth certificate. I understand you love her so much you’re willing to forgive her cool but she needs to understand thag she fucked up and now she needs to make sure that baby is yours. I hope you do the DNA Test whether she threatens you or not. If she has the nerve to threaten you like that she don’t give a damn about you.
She cheated not you. Not only that but DNA is done for health reasons as well. Especially if the child is sick! You need to know and so does she. Are you willing to raise this child as yours? That needs to be the first part of soul searching you should do.
You should leave her. She’s upset because you want a dna test because she slept with someone unprotected. She’s a dummy. And you’d be a dummy to stay with someone like that.
I’m going to be literally the only one to say this apparently but what a controlling ass cunt! Sorry not sorry. She admit to sleeping around but threatened to leave if you get a DNA test? Like that’s literally the definition of a crazy ass narcissistic biiiiitch. Leave while you’re ahead dude.
I don’t understand how she could be upset about a dna test and she knows there’s another possibility
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She says she’s going to leave you if you do a test on a child that she wants you to take care of but potentially might not even be yours? That’s manipulation to a T. She should’ve thought about your feelings when she was cheating on you - and she clearly didn’t care. She went outside of your marriage regardless of the issues you guys were having. Tell her you want the DNA or YOU are leaving, due to her infidelity. Respect yourself, because she clearly doesn’t respect you, and leave. You might never stop questioning her loyalty, and you’ll be forced to look at and take care of a child that may not even be yours. If it is? Absolutely wonderful! Problem solved, and work on the cheating issue, if you stay, but if the child is not yours… well… it’s all up to you, but if I was a man and my wife got pregnant by another man, I’m filing for divorce before the day is over.
First, whether the child is yours or not, are you willing to love the child as your own?
Second, if the other man wants to be apart of the child’s life IF it is his, are you willing to deal with that.
If you really want to save your marriage, this is the reality you must be able to accept. I think mediator or counseling would be the best option in saving your marriage if you accept the possibilities.
I also believe DNA is necessary just to know what may lie ahead, this guy could vanish, and that child deserves a loving father as none of this is the child fault, but that guy could come back 10 years later and decide he wants to be a father, it would help to know if he is or is not the father, a court will order one in a custody battle first thing, that could be avoided if the child is yours. If you know the child is yours that could also help save your marriage instead of always wondering.
Advice from a married couple, we have never had infidelity in our marriage, but marriage is sacred, it’s hard to accept divorce, that should be a last option.
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You now need to think of your child/children first. In your heart - it will be something that you hold against her forever especially if you aren’t sure the new baby is your’s. The children will most definitely feel the tension between you guys and their idea of a happy relationship is what they see in your relationship. If you want your child/children to grow up With a happy childhood - do what’s right for them. Not you.
Leave! She is a manipulator!
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She has zero respect for you. Not only did she cheat but she didn’t use protection. Now she’s trying to manipulate you. Take your son and leave. If the other baby is yours, take care of that one too. You and your kids deserve better.
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Coming from a woman who did this (no I’m not proud of it) get a DNA test and if the baby isn’t yours you need to walk away because it will never ever work. I tried after n he hated me rightfully so but it was not a good environment for raising children. And my daughter wasn’t going to grow up being excluded because of it.
Shes manipulating your emotions…get the DNA. If she leaves, she leaves. You and your son would be better off in a divided family than a resentful family that sticks together just cause.
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Nah bro. If she cheats it’s over. No exceptions.
Someone that loves you doesn’t cheat on you or do things on purpose to hurt you. She’s threatening to leave because you’ve already shown her that she can literally sleep with another dude unprotected and will be forgiven.
I would’ve packed my things yesterday if I were you.
Never accept that.
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Why would you ask a bunch of total strangers? This should be your private business. If you love her then go to professional counseling with her and get help. PRAYERS!
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Walk away it will never work it better to have 2 happy homes then it is to have a unhappy 1
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If she says no to a dna test that’s because she knows its not yours
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Do the test if it’s yours awesome if not it’s up to you if you want to keep her and deal with the other parent.my son went through the same thing he didn’t do it BUT HE LOVES THE BABY AND SO DO WE
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Nope do the test she cheated and is being toxic towards you.
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Get a DNA test. She has nerve. She cheated not you. Then go to court for equally shared joint custody of your son, cause she seems like the type that will keep you from your son out of spite. And leave her to her new boo
The only reason she is denying you dna is because she knows it prob isnt yours… and if it isnt yours… you need to make it clear what will happen… do dna asap… once a cheater always a cheater tho
I would go get a DNAtest on that child as soon as he or she is born.
A person that can cheat AND not use protection gives zero fux about you. The tone of this SCREAMS that there has been a lot of disrespect going on and that the marriage probably should’ve ended long ago or never even happened to begin with. You have some serious self issues to have allowed things to get this far. It may be a good idea to seek counseling for yourself before you make a decision. I can tell her threatening divorce if you get a test is normal behavior for her: manipulative controlling narcissistic gaslight behavior you’ve probably been allowing even before marriage.
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From my experience don’t stay in the situation if it hurts u she obviously isn’t caring about your feelings and taking them into consideration and I’d deff push for a dna test it’s one thing taking care of someone else’s child but if she is in a committed relationship with u then she shouldn’t be having anothers child I’d really think hard on this if she fell for someone that easy the love has died she is only staying for the sake of your child and possibly cause she knows u always give in and will keep taking her back so stick up to her and show u ain’t gonna take shit cause of not she will continue to walk over u and hurt u more if she hadn’t already to the point u will feel low of yourself there is someone who will love u unconditionally and not take u for granite go find that girl cause the one your with is ruining your life
I say test that baby, and if she leave you then it’s her loss…
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Honestly it’s better for the children if you leave now . If this continues you’ll want to leave latter or she will it’ll be harder on them if you do it when there so little they accept it better in my opinion . Also you have legit reasons for a dna test
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Wow your “wife” is a real piece of work, she’s gonna cheat again but only you can decide what to do with your life and while you’re making that decision don’t forget to include the little ones in on that decision
Leave… there’s too much toxicity in the situation.
The thing with toxic people is that, if you keep forgiving…they’ll keep messing up.
Do a dna test behind her back she did things behind your back
That way if baby isn’t yours you won’t feel bad and can say see ya
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When the baby is born you can take the child for a dna test without her knowing but if you want to work it out no matter what then it really don’t matter! Only you know how you feel and you will know when to leave!
Okay first things first, you are being PLAYED. She’s using the fact that you went to your mom’s as an excuse to sleep with this man. TBH, she probably already slept with him PRIOR to you leaving. Next, she doesn’t want a DNA test because she KNOWS there’s a possibility that the other guy is the father. You should get a DNA test and if she decides to leave you, so be it. 
You and the child have the RIGHT to know the truth. Not only that, if y’all end up breaking up you will be on the hook financially for 18 years. Hell she could leave you for him and have you paying child support for HIS child.
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Oh come on people. If a relationship is good, nobody can intrude. If you love this woman and this Baby is not yours just December, that the Dad is the one taking care of it, does not have to be the biological father. You will see, once the Baby is born, if it is yours or not. Big question is: do you love this woman and want to stay with her?
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Don’t sign the birth certificate until after you get the DNA results!
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You’re in your rights to make her take a dna test. But your marriage is over, one way or another.
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So she cheated, got pregnant and threatens to leave if you want to know the true identity of the child’s father? You need to leave her… there is no love there… what a horrible situation… I’m so sorry
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She sounds like a controlling, manipulator! Run as fast as you can or your heart will be broken time and time again
Y’all need #jerryspringer
So she had unprotected sex to “get back at you” because you left her for carrying on with another man, got pregnant, and is now saying if you want a DNA test she’s leaving you? Dude, she already knows the baby isn’t yours. Cut your losses, take your son, leave and never look back. Run!
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Whether she knows for certain if the baby is yours or not, doesn’t matter what matters is that she is trying to manipulate you. Denying you the right to a DNA test is her way of being in control of you. She is the one who failed you and your marriage so she is not in the right to make demands or threats. If you want your marriage try to work it out but not at the expense of your happiness and peace of mind, because when those two things are compromised, nothing else will work.
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You should do the DNA test regardless of whether you might or might not leave. It is entirely possible to recover from these kinds of scenarios. It requires tons of therapy and trust building again.
The baby needs to know his/her medical history and this is why I believe you should get a DNA test even if you choose to stay and work through this.
When the baby is born she don’t need to know about a DNA test so you can be 100% sure either way. But what if the baby isn’t would you chose to love that little baby regardless? Because if you can’t then there’s no need to stay.
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The audacity of her ultimatum. She’s cheating but draw a line in the sand if he wants to have a paternity test done. I hope he is smart enough to do it ANYWAYS. Whether he stays with her or not is up to him (ain’t my life and I have no skin in the game) but he deserves to know if that’s his biological kid. If he’s okay with raising the baby and whatever that entails (if it’s his, if he raises another mans child as his, if they coparent with the other dude) then cool. But he deserves to know and so does the possible other father. She’s dead wrong for that ultimatum. 
percent. This is HER mess and she needs to own it. Don’t allow her to lay that at your feet dude. Whether you stay with her or not you deserve to know. The baby is innocent. Had no say in any of this. It’s also a sibling (full or half) to your other child. Just things to he mindful of when making your decisions.
This will never be a happy marriage no matter what decision you make. Go with your gut and put yourself at ease. If she leaves you she never respected you to begin with.
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Jesus, how is she gonna try to control you not to have a DNA test? She must be crazy. Do it anyway
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So let me get this she’s cheats she lies she gets pregnant and then threatens to leave you if you do a DNA test that is ass-backwards what a bitch and I’m not sorry for saying it leave that mess. Get a DNA test and fight for 50 50 custody
Stop letting her walk all over you let’s be honest nobody wants to be a single mom especially of two he should be the one walking on eggshells put your foot down and I bet her fucking tune will change real quick don’t let love make you blind
Let her leave, she is a tit for tat type of person, and you have the right to decide if you want to raise a child that may not be yours, the audacity of this woman is beyond me.
If you stay can you take in the baby and love it as your own either way x I very much doubt it you will be forever wondering is the baby yours or not and will treat him or her differently! Unfair on you or the child x I’d do a DNA for your own mental sanity as it will eat you up not knowing x if she really loved you 1) wouldn’t of had a affair in the 1st place !
2) she’d have the dna to prove 1 way or another for the babies sake .
3) to blame you is narcissistic! Toxic
Big hugs to you and hope you sort things out for you ! Do right to yourself and child you know is yours ! You deserve so much better xxx
This is ridiculous! She’s is an abuser! Get your DNA test and leave her.
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Leave her. Petition the court for DNA.
She’s insane
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Pray hard for your marriage and watch War Room, sides are out there to destroy marriages.
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Get the DNA TEST!
if she isn’t worried then she will let you do it.
Run with you child can’t trust her. Every time she gets mad it’s always going to be a get even game with you. Get a DNA for the sake of mind and because you don’t want to be a dead beat daddy because of her getting even games.
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She sounds terrible. Fuck her mom
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DO NOT I repeat DO NOT put your name on the birth certificate until a DNA test is done. There have been tons of times fathers put their names on the birth certificate then they find out the baby isnt theirs. Then mom takes him to court for child support and because his name was on the birth certificate the court Grant’s child support. So he will be stuck paying child support for 18 years for a kid that isnt his. Please be careful she also sounds real toxic
This child could be 11 years old before she decides to tell you, in a fit of rage, that you’re not the dad. Don’t wait until you build a relationship with this child and then have to be humiliated and hurt. Get a DNA test done and save yourself the stress.
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Leave. If she’s threatening to leave you over a DNA test, she doesn’t love you. She’s the one who cheated. You forgave her and she’s still acting like that!? Absolutely not.
Omg if she’s cheating she doesn’t love you. If yall were on a break and she ran to him that should have been the end of it. She wasn’t thinking of you, her marriage, or her son while you were taking care of him. Ewww. She HAS to go. You deserve better. She ain’t it!!! Trust me when I tell you if you let a woman walk on you they will never stop. Move on. DNA test that baby so you know and raise your kid or kids with someone who loves you as much as you love her.
Dna test as well as an std test bc lot of unprotected. You have to do what makes you happy. Building trust up again when there wasnt that much to start with can be challenging.
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Someone once told me "if you choose to get back with someone you choose to put the things they did to you behind you otherwise yall gonna be miserable “…and in the famous episode on friends " you were on a break!!!” 
She cheated why stay with her, take your son and leave her If she is refusing a DNA test she already feels the baby isn’t your’s, I’ve learned the hard way once someone cheats they will cheat again. File for divorce and get her for adultery n full custody of your son.
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Definitely get a dna test n if ol girl leave let her go… she’s MARRIED so she should not be talking to other guys and you deserve so much better… if the child turns out to be yours be the best dad to your children… know your self worth n love ur self enough let that toxicity go… I’m sorry I going through that:cry:
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Can you message me privately? I don’t want negative comments from my comment for advice.
If she doesn’t want a dna test it’s because she knows it’s not yours. You deserve better than that. Her mistake cost her and that’s her problem to live with. Not yours. Move on my dude. You’ll be happier in the long run when you find someone who will love you, never cheat on you and will be a great step mother to your kid. Make sure to get a lawyer so you can fight for your rights and equal custody.
This relationship is done
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Protect your child and leave , staying together because u have a kid can be so much more traumatic for a child than just leaving, u may love her but she clearly doesn’t love you
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I agree with most people on here about getting the DNA test done for your sake and the baby. Your wife should understand, and seems to not want to build up the marriage that she helped damage. You’ll be legally responsible for that child until they turn 18, and that might be a hard pill to swallow if you learn you’re not the biological father. Second, the doubt might be in the back of your mind always which might subconsciously affect your behaviors and in turn the relationship with that kid. Either way knowing will help you decide if you want to stay or not. It’s not the child’s fault that your wife cheated, but they may be a reminder of that indiscretion. If you can’t deal with it, then it’s best to leave.
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Do a dna test. That baby has the right to know who their bio dad is. You don’t have to tell her, you can do a private company. Second she is going to sleep with other people again. So if i were you unless you don’t care she will, I’d leave.
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So you decided to forgive after you left for a few days. Normal. However, she cheats on you and gas unprotected sex? She seems a bit unstable. Sorry you find yourself in these shoes. I think you have some thinking too do however you should know if the baby is yours. Get a DNA test.
Get a DNA test, and no matter what the awnser be, LEAVE HER. If you can’t trust your partner 100% it isn’t worth it. You’ll always be questioning, and that not worth it.
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Leave cause she will cheat again
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Definitely get a DNA test before you sign the birth certificate
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Get your DNA test done give yourself peace of mind. From what im reading, she don’t love you nor respect you. Y’all can coparent. Don’t settle your happiness, if she don’t love you and y’all stay together, the kids are gonna feel it and it’s not fair for them. Best of luck
Do the DNA test or you’ll always wonder. I wouldn’t stay with someone that cheated. I’d always remember. Once trust is broken it can’t be fully restored in my opinion.
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She sounds like a narcissist. Leave her.
Wow I am sorry for what’s going. But you need to do the DNA test if she says she’s gonna leave you for doing it so be it. You have trust her and forgave her to much and she can’t even do that for you? No she’s not worth it. You’ll know if the baby is yours by doing the DNA if you don’t do it you won’t be happy for the rest of your life.
This of course is a hard decision…1st figure out what went wrong to begin with. Can that be fixed? Do you want to fix that? 2nd can you forgive your wife for her actions? I know love her that is why you are asking for options…but can you forgive her? If you can’t then call it quits. If you decide to forgive her. You will need to wipe the slate clean and also forget. Because if you choose to stay. You will have to forget to move forward. Every action she does you will question it, this will drive you crazy and may end your relationship anyways. 3rd this baby didn’t ask to to come into this world. The decision is yours if you are willing to be apart of this child’s life or not. Because this new baby also has a sibling which is your child. You have to consider how this will affect your son. 4th yes I would do a DNA test…for a lot of reasons. Not to just find out if this kids is yours. But if you don’t decide to be the “dad”, if something should happen down the line you can make the correct decision for your child. Also when the time comes that child will want to know the truth. Good Bad Ugly and indifferent….but at the end of the day. You have to decide what is best for you and what you can live with. I heart is with you in whatever you decide. It is a cruel world and it sucks the kids are in the middle of it all…
Get the DNA test. If the baby’s yours, file for custody. But get out of that toxic mess
I’m sorry but that relationship will never work you will never be able to trust her again
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You sound like the kind of person that even if the child is not biologically yours…you would love them anyway. Not saying you should stay with her…but if you have the opportunity to be a father again, maybe just take the kids and build a better future.
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Super SELFISH on her part for saying she will leave if you get a DNA… You deserve to know the truth and so does the little one… Wow just a mess all the way around … Separation would probably be best, until some things are figured out… Good luck.
I went through this before with my old girlfriend, you will not be able to repair your trust in your relationship. Do the test and move on, not knowing 100 percent will follow the rest of your life.
Live with it or leave no other choice, and if it’s not your baby and the dad steps up your life is going to be miserable if anyone is cheating in a relationship it’s time to end it bc it’s not ment to be, she or he will continue to cheat every time they have a stumble and it’s always gonna be someone else’s fault I say get the DNA bc you will regret it if you do not! If it’s not yours I’d be gone quickly…
It’s her fault you need a dna test in the first place so her emotionally blackmailing you like that is so fucking wrong! Personally I would’ve left altogether after the messaging but if they then slept together god never see me again!! She’s taken advantage of how much you love her, she slept with him knowing she would get you back. Wanted to be a hoe while living the life of a mother and wife. AND where in all this did she think about your child and how this would affect him! 
disgusting if you ask me.
Leave, she knows baby not urs that’s y she don’t want to have a 
test
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