Do the test.
Especially since she is not at all remorseful and is making threats to leave and trying to manipulate you. You need to know sooner rather than later, plus when you get divorced having DNA in hand will move things along faster as you will be able to prove you are not bio dad (if that is the result).
Has she been tested for STDs?
Her not wanting to take the test says alot and to threaten to leave you says it allâŚitâs hard when you love someone but we all have to learn to love ourselves first âŚwishing you the best
Get a test, sign for divorce. It sounds like she is a manipulative narcissist person. Ive dealt with some myself. Wishing the best for the fan and his son
Sounds like super manipulation. Run.
You can get a DNA test kit ,from Walgreens!!!she w never know ,you took the test!!!take the test!!
WowâŚ
If you are serious about making this work you both need to start fresh. You should get a DNA test, and she should support it. You need to start off with absolute truth and itâs something you will always question of you donât. Talk about what if the baby isnât yours and what that would mean for the two of you. Shit happens and we all make mistakes but donât let you guyâs mistake be this babyâs future. You can love a kid thatâs not biologically yours. If you truly forgave her for cheating then you would talk about solutions not the last still. You both can get through this if you really want to but start off clean and fresh and with absolute trust and support.
She also needs to know and so does the baby. For medical reasons, issues down the road etc and start some counseling together! This is a huge change it can either be a blessing or a disaster but the baby doesnât deserve anything but the best no matter who the dad is! Best of luck
Iâm hoping youâre reading these and noticing that a lot of the ones saying you should leave are from women. A woman who is stable in her life and happy in her relationship will not behave the way you are describing. That child as well deserves the right to know who itâs father is even if you are not. Iâm sorry to say but there should be a line between forgiving someone and staying with them and you should not have crossed that. Right now youâre telling her everything she did was okay and I promise you she will do it again. She probably still is to be honest. You need to leave for the sake of yourself and your current child. Once the new baby is born get a test and put your mind at ease. This woman is going to cause you nothing but pain and you child is going to learn from that. You need to decide if your love for her is enough to risk how your child views relationships as they get older
At this moment, she knew that she F***** upâŚyou better start moving⌠she said if you do a dna test on the baby it overâŚshe already knows that the baby aint yoursâŚyou better leave her⌠theres no more trust no loyalty and no respectâŚshe already lied she broke the vow she made on your wedding dayâŚ
Sorry to say it , but you need a DNA TEST. My son went through that am he found out that the boy wasnât his and it ripped his heart out. You need to know
U would rather stay and be miserable? No, way man. EVERYONE deserves to be happy. And trying to raise ur child/possibly children in a household like that would be terrible. Iâd rather be alone than unhappy. But thatâs me boo. But once u forgave her the first time thatâs how she knew she could do it again and again because uâd keep forgiving her. Good luck.
She doesnât get to pick and choose if you want a paternity test done.
After what she did, itâs your right to know one way or another.
Also, itâs nobodyâs business if you decide to stay with her. If you stay and the results are that the baby is yours, great. Take a breath and figure the rest out.
If you stay and the results of the test say this child is not yours but you stay and raise it, good for you for being that kind of man. But also remember that if you stay and choose to raise this baby after knowing itâs not yours, you canât bring it up and throw it in her face. You need to own the fact that youâve accepted what happened and you will be there for her and this child as if it were your own blood.
If you choose to leave, remember that she did this. Itâs okay to hurt. Itâs okay to feel bad. But if you donât feel like sheâs remorseful and that she will do anything to work this out or that she truly wants you and will not do this again, leave. Find the love you deserve.
You did NOT deserve what happened to you but whether you stay or go is your choice. Donât let anyone make that choice for you. Listen to your heart.
Iâm sorry but SHE cheats and hurts you over and over and canât even do a paternity test? At this point sheâs simply gaslighting you so that everything goes her way again, do the test, put your mind at ease because clearly she doesnât care, take care of yourself too, because when it comes to children what you feel is always going to affect them
Divorce her, get a DNA test take the kid, get another DNA on the new kid. Move on.
Get the DNA. DONT LET Her control you. You need to know or it will eat at you. If you raise the child and fine out 10 _15 years later and still end up divorced you spent those years supporting a child you have no control of.
For a start u said u were going to your mum for a few days .and she done that to you .I would get a DNA test and I would leave her .
Leaving give chance to clear your mind . Tell her we need to seek counseling to help us work this out . See what she tells you then. Your telling her itâs ok for what she did.
She is a cheater. And a liar. And will do it again and again. Quit being weak.
Absolutely get a DNA test. She is being emotionally manipulative, and that is just gross. You deserve much better than what she is giving you right now.
GET THE DNA TEST. That other man has the right to know he has a child and the child has the right to know the truth. That doesnât mean she or you have to leave. A parent isnât always blood. If you feel you can love the child the same as your own and you can trust your wife to coparent with said man with no romantic feeling and make the marriage work, it shouldnât matter to her if you ask for it. Her threatening that is her insecurities and not wanting to deal with and accept her mistake in your marriage. Very selfish of her in my opinion. Which at that point, if she wants to hold firm on her threat, YOU LEAVE. That just proves her respect towards you and your child.
Coming from a womanâs prospective. I disagree on the test. She shouldnt leave you because you want a DNA test. How about you wanna know if the kid is yours?? Then she obviously knows itâs not your kid and is probably still talking to the guy. Fuck that bitch. I understand yâall have a kid and are trying to make it work but the DNA test refusing is a big issue in my opinion
If sheâs threatened to leave if u do take one, a part of her isnât sure itâs yours either! If she was 100% without a doubt thinking it is yours there would be no issue. She messed up, she stepped out. If she really wants to make it work she will do whatever it takes to show you how committed she is! I say take the DNA and even if it is yours get far away from her! You do not NEED to be together to raise your son in a happy home. What matters is he see a healthy relationship between mom and dad ao he can learn to be in healthy relationships when he grows older. He deserves to see his daddy happy!
Get the DNA test before you allow your name on the birth certificate. She is obviously not sorry she did what she did which says that she will probably do it again.
Wtf, she mafe the mistake, she has to suffer the consequences. Get the test and tell her that her choices brought it to this.
Not a good place to be in, tbh as much as you love her youâll aways have that little voice saying what is she up to now especially she isnât showing any remorse by threatening you to leave.
If it were me in her position knowing that you loved me enough to forgive me twice a DNA test should be the least I can do to try to mend this relationship.
As for the option of leaving with your son, you sound like a decent man and you wouldnât want to teach your son cheating is ok, especially if your wife would carry on giving you grief over whose baby she is carrying. Also some kids do thrive in a one parent environment.
You do not need to be the sperm donor to be a good father, rather itâs yours or not. But I tell her you do it again and Iâm going you sound like a compassionate person and deserve better
She cant be trusted!!! If she warns you not to do a DNA, she obviously has a feeling/knows its not yours. Youâll separate anyway with or without the DNA because you know she cant be trusted or given anymore chances!!! Just because you love somebody who does you wrong and doesnt stop, doesnt mean you have to stay with them. Divorce her ass!! Let her know what the real world is about, she already showed you her realityâŚshes a cheater and cant be trusted!
Once a cheater, always a cheater. If it was that easy the first time knowing that you forgave her it will happen again. Odds are that one day she will meet someone and leave you. At that point she will seek child support for a child that may or may not be yours. Unless you are willing to accept this child and take full financial responsibility get the test. She sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do and with each bad decision she is dragging her family down with her. Protect your son and the other child if yours as well as yourself and let her dig her own hole without you all.
If your in CA and that baby is born, you only have a certain matter of time to do a DNA and declare that baby not yours. Otherwise that baby will be labeled legally your child through marriage (because it was born within the marriage), and you will be responsible for that child until he/she is 18. Regardless if you take a DNA a year later or down the line. The real father will have washed his hands and youâd be stuck even if she decides to leave you down the line.
This is from personal experience that my ex went through with a previous marriage before me. Let me tell you it was hell for him. Donât be blinded by love. Good luck
FYI: heâs still raising that other mans son to this day. Because the mom also decided to skip out a few years later and make another life.
Sometimes apart is better. Your child will have a chance to learn how to love correctly if he can see it. Do the test. If she leaves she leaves. You deserve better anyway
Leave her ass she ainât shit I know it hurt but it is better to go through the healing process then continue to shatter your own heart knowing the outcome
Shes a cheating slag .
If sheâs refusing a DNA test, itâs not yours and you DEFINITELY need to get a DNA test to prove it. My guess is, sheâs gonna leave you anyways and come after you for child support.
You can DNA test it at home without her even knowing
If she is committed to making things right with you then she should be more than willing to prove you are the father.
Sheâs toxic⌠you do not deserve that.
I was with you working it out bc thatâs you wanted until you wrote âshe said if i get a DNA test then she will leaveâ at that point she knows that itâs not your child and anyone who feel they have the right to give you an ultimatum on finding out of your father a child should be left. You need to do what needs to be done.
A separated household is better than your son seeing this unstable relationship.
You should do the DNA test for the sake of the baby. For any hereditary diseases or whatnot. If you feel that you can still bring up the child and love him/her as your own. It still might be yours.
Get a DNA test !!! Let her leave but you need to know if thatâs your child or not. The child needs to know later on down the line .
DudeâŚleave her cheating ass
Get the damn Dna test.
The fact is they married his name will go on the birth certificate regardless unless he tell them people he want a DNA test.
Get the DNA test. She cheated and will continue to do so.
At the end of the day, itâs yours and your wifeâs marriage and relationship that you need to think about. All break ups hurt and of course 3 days later you would be missing her itâs normal. Every relationship is different but that baby growing in her will one day have all the questions you are having. If she is too selfish to want to put your mind at ease than you really need to weigh the pros and cons of your marriage. Children come first no matter what but whatâs a relationship if you arenât going to be happy or be able to put this hard time in the past. I know DNA test whilst pregnant is quite a difficult process but after birth itâs literally a couple swabs. If she wonât happily give you one than serve her papers to get it court ordered
Itâs not for us to decide thatâs a decision you have to make for yourself and one that you are gonna have to live with - no judgment here just do whatâs best for you and your family thatâs all that truely matters not what any of these idiots on here say -
Im sorry but do a dna test. Thats not right she messed up on something good then threatens you.
The DNA test should be done plain and simple, she admitted to unprotected sex with another guy she should be wanting to do it to prove the child is yours if anything, or she already knows itâs not yours, coz trust me chicks just know
Look if u love herâŚits ok to stay with her but also know even if this child isnât urs donât treat him/ her different.once u make that choice to stay.STAY DONâT FUCK WITH THE KIDS.they seem to always be the ones to suffer.THINK about it.and its also ok if u decide to leave.u can still be apert of ur childrens life.
So she cheated on you, but still has the nerve to tell you shit? Either we do this dna test or Iâm gone. Smh she sounds very toxic
Sounds like itâs already a toxic environment you donât want to raise your son in. Run. Fast and far.
DNA test on baby or you leave
Sheâs not gonna change because she doesnât give a fuck and it shows! You have all right to do a DNA test, but her response she already telling you itâs probably Not yoursâŚGood Luck, Go on with your life and be happy because your headed for more misery with her if you stay!
She cheated on you, she doesnât get to tell you you have to raise someone elseâs child. If you stay with her after all sheâs put you through then youâre teaching your son how to be a doormat. Do the DNA test and leave her.
How about you demand a dna since sheâs the one that did the dirty. She will leave you if you ask for a dna test that shows her own shame. Sheâs already shown you how much you mean to her clearly she doesnât love you. Id ask for a dna test whilst packing my stuff. Once a cheat always a cheat.
Take the hit and leave my dude. Sadly your most likely gonna get raked over the coals and child support is gonna cripple you so Iâd start looking like for a damn good lawyer to try and make it somewhat tolerable. But respect yourself and return that hoe to the streets. You deserve better.
A B C u later biotch
Ultimatums donât make relationships lastâŚ
Iâm sorry this happened to you. Trust above all in a marriage is number one. I think you know that. Get the DNA test. You will then know what to do. Remember she did wrong.
Sheâs a bird. Get a divorce and go. Itâs sad that everyone is saying thatâs up to u. What happen to once a cheater always a cheater. She had unprotected sex, got pregnant and is now manipulating him by threatening to leave if he tests the baby. What kind of abuse is that? Exactly. Say the truth heâs better off moving on. She lied over and over again
She is not worth your time and doesnât deserve your love and dedication! Take your son and start over do not let her give this new child your name without a pregnancy test , you will be paying for someone elses child for the next 18 years but if it is your child take it too she dioes not know how to be a good example and will always put them second to her whims! She will teach them to be like her when they need to be more like you! Iâm sorry she was not as loyal to you as you were to her! Yes I know this is only one side of the story, and yes it is your life , but seriously put on your big boy pants and walk, teach your boy how to be a decent man like you ! But you are not a doormat and should not allow her to raise him as one!
DNA test for sure! If sheâs threatening to leave if you ask for that then I donât think thereâs much of a relationship left. She should want to know also.
DNA test for sure. It may be hard to leave and I hear you about not wanting to have your child grow up in a broken home but do you want said child to grow up thinking this type of relationship and behavior is okay? Dad you gotta set the path make it beautiful not scary! Life will be tough at first but it does get better and you and your child will be much happier for it. Good luck
DNA is the only way to know. Truth is better to be known, Than guessing
And how about you leave if she wonât do the test? Would it be so great to live with someone youâll never really trust again? Sounds like she could have been sleeping with him before you took a break.
Get the DNA test and leave her. Stop putting yourself through the mental torture of being with someone who obviously doesnât love you itâs NOT worth it trust me on that.
Get the DNA test⌠She is the one who cheated and should not be giving you ultimatumsâŚ
If sheâll leave you if you do a DNA test that means the baby isnât yoursâŚ
Pray about it, but my only question to u is when are u gonna allow yourself to think of yourself first???
Grow up- get a dna test absolutely. If baby isnât yours, move on and find a faithful women.
She is playing games with you. Leave. I know it hurts, itâs supposed to, but itâs the best.
Manipulation at its finest⌠She cheated then slept with the guy and try to blame you for it ok but then why not use protection, dirty, and now if you do DNA sheâs going to leave you? Mmm⌠You have every right to ask for that DNA test and she should just go with it cause she knows she messed up plus that baby deserves to know who is its real daddy when it grows up. Another thing it seems that trust has been an issue for awhile your marriage will eventually end unless you are going to continuously let her run game on you over and over on you and forgive her just to save your marriage, or for the sake of the kids, or because every action is a retaliation towards something you did like her having unprotected sex because you left, really??
Although the situation isnât the best I believe any child that is made while married itâs still the husband responsibility to provide for said childâŚgo to Walgreens but a dna kit and swab baby on your time no one has to know but you !!
Do the DNA test because youâll be paying child support once separated/divorced. Plus, the other guy needs to know if itâs his kid. I highly recommend divorce because once that trust is gone, youâll never get it back.
Leave her! Why would stay with someone who doesnât give a shit about you!! If she cared about you she wouldnât had stepped out!
You have the right to know
If you truly love her and have forgiven her then love that child as if itâs your even if your. Not it sure itâs not they childâs fault .
Kinda fucked up she threatens to leave if you do a dna test imo
That some controlling narcissistic shit right there.
Makes one think if she told the other guy and he donât wanna commit.
I think this needs to be what is best for your son. Have the test run. She needs to face up to what she has done. Your son might be better without her.
So your willing to stay with her and not find out if the child is yours? Sheâs literally threatened you? You need to leave, sheâs toxic, youâll find someone better and faithful. When you do, sheâll miss you but youâll be over her. Take my advice, im a woman and woman like that donât change for anyone.
Do the DNA test. Donât let her black mail you. Damn if u do! Damn if u donât. What meant to be is going to be. If this is meant to b it will. She wouldnât like it if the shoe was on the other feet. Theirs an old saying u donât hurt nothing u love.
If youâre heart tells you to forgive her,then thatâs fine and even if the baby isnât yourâs you can still love it as your own, and I would be willing to bet with prayers and gods love you can stay together and have a happy family!!!
She has no boundaries and to expect you to not want a dna test is ridiculous! Get your test and move on! The trust is gone
That is not your baby sir . She just told you it ainât your baby by telling you that you are not allowed any dna testing . So now you know itâs not your baby and all you need to decide on is if you bouncinâ or helping raise homeboys kid .
PS - I PROMISE he already knows she is pregnant and there is no other possible father straight from her mouth if that helps you any , it may make it that much easier on you to walk away everyone feels differently about these things .
I feel the DNA test should be done for sake of child as well as for you wanting to know. If the baby isnt yours the other guy could have medical conditions that could be passed on if the baby is his.
Get the DNA test. She knows the baby isnât yours
Step back and look at the bigger picture man donât let the things that youâre focusing on chip away at your integrity
You can do a DNA test without her knowing⌠sounds deceptive but she canât make you go through life not knowing for sure.
You are being manipulatedâŚDNA because u will $$$ for the supportâŚshe cheated once, sheâll donit againâŚ
She does it once she will do it againâŚkno ur worth
What kind of lessons are you teaching your son? Be a man and teach him how to be a man that donât get walked on. You tried to forgive her, if she wanted to be with you she wouldnât try to hurt you by sleeping with someone else. Move on her loss!
Do the DNA test for the sake of the child. If you donât, you may always unknowingly resent him/her. The baby will grow up wondering what they did wrong, why they donât have your absolute love. Children pick up on these things.
My answer would be: if we donât do a DNA test; Iâm gone.
Whatever you do, donât sign that birth certificate if you hadnât had a DNA test done by delivery.
Once a cheater always a cheater kick her to the curb.
You have EVERY right to a DNA test. Biological father or not, if you plan to continue a relationship with her and she too plans that, you have every right to know. She is the one who cheated, she is the one who didnt take protective measures. She needs to face the results and outcome like a big girl. No reason you should be realonsible paying for another mans child if you decide you want to leave the relationship.
Because you know, if you do leave and that baby isnât yours, you have no legal rights and she will make sure of that.
The choice for you to stay, is yours.
The dna results are your right.
People change just because she cheated doesnât mean she will do it again so I commend u for even trying itâs not easy to forgive someone for that and especially since she is now pregnant and itâs a possibility itâs not yours. Buuuut her saying that she will leave u if u get a DNA test is wrong ! she was the one who went out and cheated if she wants to leave that is on herbnvm. You have every right to know.
Really at the end of the day the real question is.
Are you ready to accept this child as yours? If you find out that it is not yours are you going to leave her or are you going to stay because if you plan to stay then there is no need for the DNA test other than Peace of Mind. If you know in your heart that you canât forgive her if itâs not your baby then you have every right to know and her giving you that ultimatum of losing her if you do is fuxked up. Iâm sorry Iâm just keeping it real
Do the DNA test after the baby is born without telling her, send it off and have the results mailed to a trusted friend. But whether the baby is yours or not, the fact is, she cheated on you, youâll never be able to trust her again, itâll eat you up inside and youâll always wonder if sheâs cheating again, no matter how much you love her
The child deserves the right to know who his/her father is. Who ever that might be. You cannot stay with someone who you cannot trust and you cannot stay with someone just for the child. It will not work and you will end up resenting each other which is not good for any of you. You need to find out the truth however hurtful it might be as you will be torturing yourself with not knowing for the rest of your life and end up resenting the child. You have to be honest with each other and decide what to do if the child turns out not to be yours. If your relationship is strong enough with trust and honesty you might be able to get though this and love the child as your own if it turns out the child is not yours. Anyone can become a father but it takes a much stronger better man to become a Dad. I wish you luck and happiness for your future. You will need a DNA test for your own sanity and so the child knows who his or her father is. There is many a man out there bringing up someone elseâs child as there own and doing an excellent job of it to. Follow your heart. I hope you can sort it out together. God bless.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My wife cheated and is now pregnant: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
Demand proof of paternity. A broken household is one thing. An unhappy life is another