U have every right to have a DNA test done. When she has the baby, u can have a DNA test done. U can do it urself if need be so that u have closure. I’m truly sorry that ur going through this. But I personally would want closure. The child is innocent in this situation. Its between you and ur wife.
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DNA test… and she should want one too!
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If it only took three days for her to sleep with another man she don’t love you. I’m sorry I’m not trying to hurt you. Once someone cheats and is forgiven they will continue to do so. She has crossed a boundary that should never be crossed and ruined any trust you had for her. Get the test you deserve to know. It will only eat at you not knowing the truth. No sense in all the self mental abuse. Do what’s best for u and your son. But do remember your showing your son what is acceptable behavior for a woman to treat him. So what advice would you give your son if he’s wife did that to him? Myself I would absolutely advise my son to leave no one deserves to be treated with so much disrespect.
First she needs to figure out if the other guy would even want to be in the child’s life.
If that answer is no and you both want to work it out…then I think you have a decision to make. Either you raise that child as your own no matter who it comes out looking like. Or you walk away.
If you can honestly say to yourself that you can raise another man’s child as your own and not take it out on the child that they may be someone else’s…then I say go for it.
If you don’t think you can ever let it go…then walk away because it’s not the child’s fault and they don’t need to grow up feeling unwanted, unloved or feel like a bastard child.
I say all this from experience. So I don’t say any of this lightly.
She’s a narcissist. Get out before it gets worse. For the sake of you and your son. Order the dna test and move on. No one deserves this.
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I would do test behind her back me i really do feel for you really hope there is light at end of tunnel for you
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If your marriage is hinging on a DNA test, there is a bigger problem.
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In the state of Wisconsin because u are married the state automatically assumes u are the father and u will be held accountable for that child it’s called marital assumption. So unless u prove otherwise u will be automatically put on the childs birth certificate at birth and assumed to be the childs father. It doesn’t sound like u can live with that I sure wouldnt be able to. I would assume she wants u on the birth certificate because u are the better guy and the guy that is more likely to take care of the child. U decide if u can live with not knowing as well as that child never knowing the truth.
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Wow so many comments on here are so set about leaving!!! Look you have to decide what is best for you and your child… no one truly knows your situation… we can all say whatever we want but in the end you need to take a step back and look at all sides and do what is in your best interest. Sometimes love isn’t enough. ask yourself a few questions.
- can I truly 100 forgive her? If your one the fence simply walk away and file for divorce. Forgiveness is not easy takes time and once trust is broken it’s extremely hard to get back and will never be the same.
- can I love and raise another mans child? Not everyone can and that’s ok nothing wrong with being honest with yourself.
- will I be able to deal with it happening again? Basically you will have a open marriage… not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s ok.
There have been many marriages who have gotten past situations like this and thrived others not so much. But to get past it takes work on both sides so you both have to be all in or you are just prolonging the misery. Good luck to you!!
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The DNA test should be done so you both know and can make a decision about the future. The wondering will ruin your marriage and there will be no trust just resentment.
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Just do a DNA secretly coz u won’t manage living with been uncertain u may even endup not loving the baby
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What about the other guy? Does he know that he might be a dad?
Wow. Sad. Get the test.
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Umm she is the one that has planted the doubt. If she is unwilling to get a DNA test after what she did then good riddance. Leave her, go to court to have court ordered DNA test, prove the child is or isnt yours and get shared custody so you can be in your children’s lives.
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Do the test! You’ll always wonder if you don’t. That’s not fair to you or the child. If she goes, so be it.
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She will continue to cheat cause you are allowing it. Be prepared for that and for her parading those men in your face!!
She is the one who cheated and she has the audacity to threaten to leave you if you do a DNA test? Wow. You should 100% do a DNA test and still leave even if the child is yours.
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If she cheated, end your married relationship. Do a test though & if baby isn’t yours then just end everything! If baby IS yours, then I’d keep things civil for the sake of the child. but I wouldn’t stay married to her regardless. You don’t deserve a cheating narcissist partner.
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Wow first let me say I feel for you. Man get the DNA test done plain and simple. Atleast you will know the truth and you won’t be thinking " what if" for the rest of your life. As it is the not knowing is killing you. She is being manipulative with threatening to leave if you follow through with DNA testing. You know she has cheated once before. If you both decide to work it out great for you and your family. Those babies deserve the best no matter the outcome. But staying together because you think you love her is BS. Don’t be her doormat either.
I took in a kid and raised as my own. He wasn’t cute and cuddly when I got him either. So to me, loving a child not my own is easy. However, a women so easy to cheat after 3 days and a man who wants a married women sounds like a perfect match. But that’s me…
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She threatened to leave you because she got pregnant after a choice she made? That’s manipulation and just all out wrong. She stepped outside of your marriage willingly and both you and the other man have a right to know who the child belongs too.
I know you love her and don’t want a divorce but don’t knock children growing up in two separate households either. Growing up in separate households can oftentimes be more beneficial for a child than growing up in one filled with resentment, lies, and cheating.
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There’s your answer. If she’s threatening to leave if you do a test, then she clearly is sure that there’s a big chance it isn’t yours. Why would you want to be with someone you can’t trust? Why would you want your son to grow up in a household like that? A place where he’s going to grow up watching all these things that will ultimately shape who he will be as an adult? I understand you love her but love your son more! Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you’re meant to be together
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Your wife should not be in any position to be saying…if u get a DNA test I will leave…what? Wait… No. She is the one that cheated. Well And a test. U deserve that
I really don’t know that to say about all this but I will send out a prayer that God will guide you through this.
Get the test because she knows it isn’t yours that’s why she used that threat
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Coming from a family where my parents were in a toxic relationship my entire life, I’d rather see them happy separated rather than so unhappy and being together, I’m now 19 turning 20 and my parents split up just over a year ago and I’m so happy and relieved that they are apart and living they’re own lives happy and separated, that’s just my opinion.
Do the DNA test. If she will break up wit you ,you have rights too and can get shared custody 50/50
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Leave her she’s a vengeful bad person
DNA test if she leaves she leaves. Keep everything for documentation.
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No one can tell you what to do, follow your heart
Do the DNA and don’t sign shit til one is done or you’ll be the one paying child support and forced to care for a child that isn’t yours after yall break up
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Plain and simple ( grieve first but let go) be a great dad to your son and go on with your life. She sounds like a narcissist and will destroy you mentally if you stay. I’m sorry 
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You choose to do what you want stay or leave… BUT her saying she’ll leave you for checking if the child is your’s, that speaks volumes on the type of person she is… as if being a big ole slutty hoe bag of a cheater ain’t enough. Sorry, but her not wanting you to know is a manipulative petty childish move on her part. That is the type of woman you are raising kids with, and possibly bringing more babies into the world with!!! You may love her to the moon & back, but she doesn’t love you that way… she loves the way you love her. Cheaters are cowards, men or women… horrible people. Period. But NO MATTER the situation you as the father have every right, any father does, to have a paternity test done… that’s your right. Mom’s don’t need it, we pop out the kids. She don’t deserve you… You are putting off the inevitable, in my opinion… and the end is gonna be UGLY! Good luck
All this and you say you still love her?? Wtf is wrong with you?? Wow. You need a mental health screening.
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She will want to leave you if you get a DNA test? What if it happens vice versa. How would she feel. Go for the DNA test to give youself some clearance.
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In most cases this will eventually come out in your family. Do what you would want your son to do if he ended up in this situation in his future. You wouldn’t want someone breaking your sons heart. You wouldn’t want him raising your grandchildren in this environment. Be strong and set the example for him. I’m in no way saying the son should be involved now but when it comes out and the time is right you can explain why you did what you did. It was the best decision for you and him. What she is doing isn’t right and you need to do what is right. Your son will understand and respect you in the end.
Fight for yourself and your son.
Good luck to you❤
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She’s a manipulator. Maybe you should read up on sociopath and narcissist
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She is manipulating you, she cheated and you have 100% right to do a DNA test. As far as her sleeping with him to “hurt you” for leaving i call BS, she is trying to make you feel guilty for actions she did. For every wrong doing, there are consequences and she needs to own up to her actions. As far as staying with her, that’s your choice…my opinion I’d leave and let her figure out what she wants, does she want her family or does she want someone that has contributed to tearing her family apart. As far as your sin growing up in a broken home, it’s better to be from a broken home than from a home where tension is high, they sense it…you don’t have to move on into another relationship, but move out and work on healing yourself from this…take the advice that you would give your son, if he ever experiences this…and ask yourself would you want him to be treated like this.
If she’s refusing a DNA test, that speaks volumes on its own …sounds like the relationship is already a battle ground …babies or no babies , living in a home of deceit and control will only hurt the kids no matter who’s they are…I’d be stepping!
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Stop and ask yourself “do you like being hurt?” Be strong for yourself and your child or children. No one needs to be treated like that. 2 people make it work by communication so if she felt neglected she should talking or putting on something sexy after the kid went to bed.
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Get the test ,proven she cheated, then take your son and leave
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Dude at this point it’s already over you know that kid isn’t yours and you know she’ll do it again. Time to be strong bud
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Leave and get a court ordered DNA test…
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I would definitely be getting a DNA test.
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She said do a DNA test and she’ll leave you. Yeah it ain’t your baby. You need to take your son and leave.
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Do not put your name on that birth certificate unless you have a dna test to prove it’s yours!! Sounds to me she wants to just trap you and make you look stupid!! You know what comes to mind when I hear this? DMX Lyrics … Party Up
Don’t be that guy!!
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Unfortunately, she’s playing you. To say she cheated because you left is absurd! Do not buy it! None of this is your fault. And for her to say she’ll leave you if you DNA test?!! How about you just leave her first. She’s manipulating you left and right. I’m so sorry you are dealing with all that.
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She will leave you anyway one day. Do that test . Once a cheater,always a cheater.
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Wow! I’m sorry. Amazing how she’s twisted this and made you the person in the wrong. That’s an immediate red flag. Trust your gut and NOT your wife. Your gut is always right.
Please have self respect & respect for your child… get out… mental abuse is the same as psychical abuse!
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Leave her, she is threatening to leave you over a DNA test even though she is the one who cheated!!! Take you and your child away from her because once a cheater always a cheater.
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U deserve to know if the baby is yours or not after that its up to u to stay if u love her then keep ur family 
people do dumb things sometimes…just my opnion
Do the DNA and don’t allow yourself to be ruled by emotions.
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IF you are willing to chance it …with the knowledge that she may stray again and the baby may NOT be yours …with full forgiveness toward her and won’t hold her discretion over her head in future disagreements … Then avoid the DNA info … Never speak of it again and continue your marriage. Accept the new baby as yours. Allowing yourself no doubt that baby still needs a father. … !! IF you can’t do the above …then do the DNA and prepare for a divorce.
Run. She is selfish, a cheater, a liar, undependable, etc. Why does she get to cheat and do whatever she wants, all the while, calling all the shots? What would u say to ur best friend, ur brother, ur father, if a woman did this to them? Love urself enough to know u deserve better. And whether or not u stay with her, u will still be paying for the child(ren). And u may not have to pay alimony, depending. If I were u, I’d contact a divorce attorney asap, for legal advice, at the very least. Ur wife sounds unstable. A judge will order a paternity test and put an end to this bizarre nonsense. And I would either file for full, or at least joint, custody. I think u will need to think long and hard about who u thought u married versus who u actually married. She has made it very clear that she could care less about u and ur feelings, and ur children’s feelings. Very selfish woman. I hope u can eventually find some inner peace and someone who will love u and ur kids. And yes, there are women out there like that. Plenty of them. U just have to have the courage to make a healthier future for urself and ur children. U can do this. U will be so thankful one day. That I can say with ease. Good luck. U will be just fine.
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SHE stepped out on your marriage and is giving YOU the ultimatum? I don’t think so. The DNA test on baby is your right. I’m sorry but if she’s threatening to leave you for her mistake of cheating it sounds like she already has one foot out the door and isn’t in the marriage for life.
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The kid is better off in a split household than in the middle of that situation. Threats, ultimatums, cheating and guilt-tripping is NOT a healthy home for a child. Leave now before you all need therapy.
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Run. Get out now while your sanity is still intact.
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She expects you not to do a DNA test after all that?! Don’t let her play you…
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Sounds like shes having another mans child but she wants your Child support money… GO GO GO AND DONT DARE SIGN THAT BIRTH CERTIFICATE
Leave her. She toxic
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When you play too soft and romantic, it ends like this. Never let no woman play you like this. That’s not love anymore. Love isn’t selfish , love isn’t lies …
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I know it’s hard but you have to leave. You deserve better. If she truly loved you she wouldn’t have put ur marriage in that situation at all. Moment someone tries to flirt I instantly block. I’m happy with who I’m with and it’s ok to have friends but the moment it’s inappropriate she should have blocked him point blank. Your kid will be happy if your happy. That’s all that matters. Don’t stay where u have to question her or check up on her. You shouldn’t have to do that. There’s no trust anymore and that’s something that’s extremely difficult to get back. But just the fact that it’s possibly his kid then they have to remain in touch and not worth the worry. If it happens once…It can happen again.
In some states you only have 2 years to request a dna test from finding out about infidelity…aftet that you “assume” legal and finacial obligation of that child regardless if its your or not…get the test…if she didnt want to risk losing you she shouldnt have slept with someone else.
Dude…….
That sucks.
But if you love her, you love her. The reason she doesn’t want to do a paternity test may be because she doesn’t want you to treat the baby different if you stay together. In all reality, if the paternity of the baby bothers you, you should separate as it will always be in the back of your mind. Your son will be happier with happy parents even if they are separated and the baby shouldn’t have to suffer a parent who can’t love them because of someone else’s actions.
Hugs to you and your son. That’s a shitty place to be, especially near Father’s Day. 
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Do the DNA test. You need to know the truth
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You can do a dang dna test without her knowing. They sell them at walgreens. Just swab you and the baby.
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Duuude do you have any self respect?? Leave her she doesnt love you or respect you period! Your marriage vows are meaningless to her. She lied to you multiple times and cheated on you. And now is more than likely pregnant with that mans child. And then threatened you on not doing an DNA test!! Do you want your son growing up to think lying and cheating is okay? That daddy is a doormat… Because that’s exactly what she is doing. By going back to her she now knows that her behavior of lying and cheating wont have any serious repercussions. All she gotta do is apologize and you’ll forgive her again and again. I get it that you love her but sometimes you have to love yourself more. Staying in an unhealthy relationship will do nothing but tear you down and your son down too. The fact that she threatened you she already knows deep down that child isn’t yours. You say your thinking about your child in all this and dont want separate households but duuude your child gonna see the two of you are unhappy with each other and that WILL wear down the child. If I was you I would pack up and leave with the child you have and move in with your parents or friends until you can get up on your feet fuck her. Sometimes having two HAPPY homes is better than one unhappy home where the parents are miserable with each other.
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Better to be in a safe and healthy separated household than to stay in the same toxic one. You dont want you’re little one growing up to think that is how love should be. She gave you that ultimatum because she knows that baby is more than likely not yours and she doesn’t want proof of it because that will definitely have the divorce go your way instead of hers, she can’t try to say she didn’t cheat if you have proof she did. Its probably not the first time she has slept with this guy or others. You and your child don’t deserve to have a toxic person like that in your life and I know you love her but love isn’t always enough love her for being the mother to your child but let that love be from afar
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Really if she actually doesn’t expect you not to do a DNA test after she cheated and you forgave her…. She’s not worth the time of day… But in some states if you get a divorce and she’s pregnant or had a baby recently they will require a DNA test because you should not be paying child support on child that isn’t yours…good luck but if leave
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In some states any child born during a marriage is the financial responsibility of the husband, legally it is his child.
DNA TEST cause even pre cum can get you pregnant
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gain trust in her and she will
Ask yourself this… Will there ever come a time in the future you would want to do a DNA test? Say you and her split up or she leaves you for someone else? Would you go for a DNA test then? What if she wanted you to pay child support on both children? What if the child, when he/she is older needed an organ or a bone marrow transplant? After years of raising a child as your own and hoping they may be urs only to find out they are not yours at some point would be far more painful than to just know early on and decide to love the child as your own regardless. Its not fair to the child either. A child/adult has a right to know their heritage and potential family health history regardless of who steps in and raises them as dad. She sounds very selfish in so many ways. Its not her choice to make. Get the DNA test. Call ger bluff. My guess is she womt leave and just is used to being in control and calling the shots. If she wants to leave over something like that and not try to understand how unfair it is to the child and yourself then she is not going to stay with you long term anyway. Might as well just rip the bandaid off and see if it bleeds. Most children do better in a split home than in some toxic, dysfunction filled household anyway. Of course, I am with everyone else and say leave but multiple people can tell you that all day and all night and you wont leave until you realize that you are worth more that that. You wont leave until YOU personally decide you would rather live alone than live catering to and being controlled and walked on by someone who clearly doesn’t know how to love anyone more than themselves.
Another thought here. If you accept the baby as yours and the marriage doesn’t work out you may be responsible for child support on another man’s child. I have a friend who found out his youngest wasn’t his, but because he had treated the baby as his from birth the judge made him pay. Just a thought.
I think parents forget that their happiness and peace of mind is JUST AS IMPORTANT as the childs. And while having separate households might create some kind of wave, but if you remain true to yourself and needs, then i think regardless youd be a good parent to the child. Plus… Be honest with the kid. If you decide you cannot stay, tell the truth to your child, but gently. Maybe in a way that doesnt completely villainize the mother.
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Sounds like a Jerry Springer Show episode to me
Pack your bags … Except that your marriage has failed … Move on.
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This is just never going to stop haunting you, even with a test. Some people cannot get past this. Being honest with yourself in understanding IF she could ever do this again is a real need here. We spend so long wasting our time on people that are wasting ours. No one deserves that kind of waste and loss. 
sad.
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- get DNA test
- if the baby is yours. Good! Still you SHOULD end the relationship.
- you can be a good parent without being with a cheater
What is love ? When there’s no trust
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Get the dna shes a bitch n u need to leave…
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Do a DNA test. If it is yours, good. If it is not, bad. But either way, you need to leave this relationship. She is not only cheating on you, but telling you NOT to leave after her mistakes?!?! No, trust goes both ways. She is manipulating you and it is only going to get worse. If she has your child, care for it and I would fight for custody if I were you. I don’t trust her and I don’t even know her. DNA proves everything, do not take her word for anything. Also, stop having sex with her. You should have made her go to the doctor for an STD test, and you need to go to and make sure you didn’t get anything.
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You need to have a man to man talk with the guy… if he is ANY KIND of man he would demand she do a DNA test…piss on her she isn’t going to change, but time changes people…and one of you guys has a baby to take care of and some decisions to make…
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- He didn’t “cum” is the biggest lie she told 2. Then lied again that it happened when you left, no she’s a hoe and was doing him the entire time…clearly. 3. You allow her to blame you for HER actions. Clearly you aren’t the problem here she broke your trust and let her leave, she knows a DNA test will show yet another lie and you will finally maybe leave her ass.
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Running away from the problem. Is your mistake!
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Why do guys always love unstable women? 
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DNA test first and once you verify its not your take her to court/divorce.
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The baby deserves to know the truth. Period.
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As much as it hurts it’s better to move on it hurts but as time goes on you’ll be able to move on. I didn’t go through a situation as this but I was in a 15 yr relationship and had two children. The hardest thing to do was excepting the separation but it was for the best especially after trying and trying and knowing that it’s not going to work anymore. Hope you get through this and find peace 
the best thing to do is staying strong and be positive for your children.
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If she doesn’t want you to DNA test the baby then that means she is not sure who the baby belongs to and doesn’t want to admit it.
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Sounds 2 me like she had it all planned!! Encourage him that maybe he needs some time 2 think about things & suggested for him 2 get away 4 a few days. So when he took the bait, she would then pursue her fantasy of having sex with the other guy!! She was well aware of what she was doing!! He’s gone for 3 days & she’s already in bed with another guy? What a slut!!
Get out now!! If she loved u, she wouldn’t have cheated on u. Get the DNA test. Then it’s your choice, whether the kid is yours or not, 2 decide what is best 4 u & your son. Have a plan. I wish u well!!
She will LEAVE YOU! DAMN woman piss me off. You should leave her. There are good women out there. She needs to go. Good luck. (It only hurts for alittle while!) If you stay it hurts over and over again forever.
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Counseling together to help your family and then get test.
Better to walk away. Sorry you had to go through that.
- I hope you got an STD check
- Do the DNA for your peace of mind and for the baby.
- Leave her, she is lying and manipulating you.
- You honestly will never be able to trust her again after this. It will always resurface and be an issue in your relationship.
Sorry this happened to you. I pray you find the answers your seeking
No child should suffer for the parents mistakes!!! If you truly Love her, forget the DNA test & ask God to help you be the best Dad you can be… No matter what the child is part of your wife… I’m certain that she doesn’t want to live her life without you… You sound like an Awesome Man not a boy who would turn tail & run… I’ll be Praying for your family…
You have a right to know. Do a DNA test. Do it secretly if you have too. But DO IT! She can’t control the consequences of her decisions. Best wishes!
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Wow. Shes definitely manipulating this guy. I wouldnt stay with her if it is yours or nots. She unhealthy. You have a right to know if this is your child, for the live of God dont sign the birth certificate until you have the test done. She has no right to say that when she started this in the first place
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If you are married then you would be considered the father by law and therefore you would be legally responsible for the child so you have some to tough decisions to make . If dna tests show that the other man is the biological father and if he wants some sort of visitation or even physical custody you may be looking at many years of court hearings. Dna testing is the first step however and I’d probably speak to an attorney who’s knows more about the laws for the state you live in.
Two wrongs don’t make a right you should have peace of mind in knowing if the child is yours because if your not then the child is deprived in knowing where he/she comes from your wife’s mistake is not your burden or of your sons her best interest should be of her kids just as yours don’t try to fix the past but rebuild a stable present for a healthy future with or without your wife children don’t thrive in a toxic house hold but understand love lives where the people that care for them are best of luck Im speaking from my own experience