You deserve to know the truth. You deserve peace of mind, and not to be gaslit or manipulated.
18 Likes
The fact that she told you sheād leave if you did a DNA test is a huge red flag. She definitely knows itās not yours and is trying to manipulate you into staying. Thatās not love, itās emotional abuse. Iād file for divorce.
45 Likes
You have to choose what is best for you! If you can truly forgive her and love the new baby as your own then stay, if you canāt then leave. The baby canāt help whose itās dad is and it shouldnāt matter. The bottom line is can you truly forgive her? The babies paternity doesnāt matter, a dad is who loves and raises the child not paternity.
11 Likes
She sounds childish and toxic. You deserve to know if the baby is yours, which truthfully it probably isnāt. Get the paternity test, and decide where youāre gonna go from there.
15 Likes
Do the test you deserve to know. And so does the child. If not you will always wonder. This is her bad not yours.
5 Likes
She knows its not yours. She made that threat because she plans on leaving you anyway, but wants to place blame.
Do yourself a favor & leave her for good!
7 Likes
Whoaā¦that is a major red flagā¦you deserve to know if a child belongs to you or not. She sounds toxic and manipulative.
4 Likes
Hold upā¦if you do a DNA test she will leave you?? Oh thatās rich!!
You seem like a guy with a good head on his shouldersā¦no shame in being a single dad!!
You deserve better than this manipulative āgirlā
5 Likes
So she cheats. Gets pregnant. Then threatens you if you get a paternity test done. Not only cheating but cheating unprotected is on a whole other level.
Thatās not love. No one who truly loves you would do that. You need to kick her to the curb.
Depending on what state your in cheating while married is a big no no too.
4 Likes
Boy run. Damā¦ get your son and runā¦
4 Likes
Get testā¦if she leavesā¦so be itā¦
4 Likes
once a cheat always a cheat leave her
2 Likes
Sheās gaslighting you by telling you that. Iād leave now she sounds super toxic.
And get the DNA test. You deserve to know the truth.
Get the dna test that child deserves to know who their biological father isā¦ā¦ itās not about you and quite frankly itās not about your wife.
2 Likes
If she cheated then you need to move along, and if she canāt be civil about the DNA test then the baby isnāt yours. Move along,she did you wrong by cheating.
Sir you deserve to know the whole truth whether its good news or bad news you need to know this for your sake and the childās sakeā¦hope you make the best decision 
Child support on a kid thatās not yours would suck.
4 Likes
Protect your energy and yourself! Leave the toxic relationship.
4 Likes
Can anyone help my friend? 
No negative comments, just please scroll past if soā¦ just trying to help her 
Well technically I think you should do a DNA test on both your son and the new baby, sheās knows that the baby isnāt yours and most likely the other doesnāt want to be bothered with her now
2 Likes
You need to file for divorce. She clearly does not love you and once a cheat always a cheat. Do your self a favor and end it.
3 Likes
Sheās threatening you because she knows itās not yours. She cheated on you and had unprotected sex. She put your health and your family at stake. I would drop her and leave her to her own mess. Sheās gaslighting you.
4 Likes
Set your feelings aside and think about what you want to teach you child! Do you want him to ever grow up and be in the same situation? If not then donāt show him that thatās an ok thing. He will learn what he lives. If you donāt want your son in the same kind of situation than you need to set an example.
2 Likes
Have the DNA test done. You deserve to know if the baby is yours. I would think she would want to know also. She is trying to guilt you in to staying with her. If the baby isnāt yours you have to decide if that is something you can forgive and try to work out or cut your losses and move on with your son.
1 Like
You are a sap and are asking to be shit all over. To hell with her. You are worth more then that. If you except what she has done she will surely do it again. Guarantee you she will. You need a dna test and personally I would use a rain coat since she could have a sexually transmitted disease. There are thousands of ladies who would treat you and your child lovingly and not betray you. You must first see your worth before others will. Please grow a set and put her to the curb. She doesnāt give two shits about you or the marriage.
1 Like
She dont love you. She cheated and blamed it on you for leaving. If She didnt try to stop you nor the kid from leaving thatās a clear sign she dont want you. You must be providing financial support to her, she knows you love her but she dont care about hurting you. I would DNA Both kids. If they yours taking them and leave. Let her pay you child support
5 Likes
Nsungwe Feza Ngulube
1 Like
Get the test done. If she leaves she leaves. Thats on her and not you. If it ends in divorce then while that sucks it may be best. If it does lead to a divorce you definitely need to know if its your child in case she gets custody and wants support.
2 Likes
Get the test if she lives oh well.
1 Like
Get that DNA then leave
1 Like
Leave her and then get that paternity test. Plenty of faithful women out there.
2 Likes
Thatās fucked. As a woman. I would never trick a man into staying with me because of a baby. Honestly from what you explain she seems toxic as fuck and chances are the baby isnāt yours. She should woman up and take care of her responsibilities. You have every right to a DNA test. Then you can make the choice to stay or not. Not be forced too.
Love and hate is a fine line. Tread lightly.
3 Likes
Sheās toxic. Pretend sheās got Covid. Idk but sheās just as deadly to you and your child.
2 Likes
Ummm this is toxic get that test for you and the baby yall deserve the truth and than set her free it doesnāt seem she wants this relationship that bad to make a statement like that its already over hun Iām so sorry
She is not being fair to the child by not being responsible enough to make sure she knows who that childās father is. Iām not excusing what sheās done but due to medical issues or family medical issues he or she deserves to know the truth. That doesnāt mean you canāt stay and be a good role model or parent if the other decides to run but how traumatic for her not to find out and then this guy hears a rumor or sees her adds it up and takes her to court the child would be so confused tell her to put her big girl panties on that she had no problem taking off and do the right thing. A child is not a bargaining item.
3 Likes
She knows itās not. Otherwise why wouldnāt she willingly have one done for the sake of your mental health. Iām sorry but a broken home is way better than the one your son is about to grow up in if you stay. She knew what she was doing. Now sheās dragging you along. Narcissistic behavior
4 Likes
Sheās a bitch! You have the right to know!
Iād do the DNA test you deserve to know if the baby is yours and she should understand that since she slept with someone else and it could be his.
Yu should cut your losses and leave. For sure get a dna. But it sounds like youre a good guy. Yes having your child grow up in separate house holds isnt the ideal situation but itās better than him seeing any fights or arguments that will come later down the line. Sheās going to leave yu for wanting to know the truth about a child that might not be yours is just wrong. Nothing wrong with being a happy single dad. Might take time to get there but atleast youāll be happy
Leave. If shes not even willing to allow you peace of mind, chances are she doesnāt think its ur either. Unless you want to live out ur life always wonderingā¦
Leave
Ur kid doesnt need a perfect home, just a happy one.
5 Likes
You have to do a DNA. It is extremely unfair of her to expect that of you, to not do one. Even if not for your sake and your willing to raise the child as your own. The child still has 100% rights to know itās biological father. It is wrong on every level for any parent to keep that from a child/adult. Sorry to be harsh, but kids have a right to know thier own blood, especially mum and dad.
5 Likes
Toxic, she will leave you for her wrong doing. You have a right to know. Besides that u sign the birth certificate and arenāt the bio father ur stuck paying till child is 18ā¦ No matter whatā¦ Do right by urself. Leave herā¦ Or work it out but find out before u sign birth certificate
3 Likes
Get the test, she is the one who wronged you, she doesnāt get to decide on how you handle the situation. Hope you can find a way to forgive her no matter what the test confirms.
If she is threatening to leave because of a dna test then she is already assuming the baby is not yours. You have every right to know the truth about the child BUT If you truly love & forgive your wife & want to keep your marriage then you will raise the child as your own regardless of the results.
That baby did not ask to be thrown into the middle if your situation.
But just consider this, without a DNA test she will always use the baby as an excuse to stay in contact with that man!
Do a DNA test & co parent your kid(s), itās not that hard to figure out peopleā¦
Wow, manipulative much? You should do what is best for you and your son. I would absolutely get the DNA test. She is turning everything onto you when she is at fault for cheating and Startin conversations in the first place. Now, I know there are two sides to every story. Counseling is always an option, but since sheās the one who broke the vows YOU need to be confiand have power. Good luck to you. A lot of us have been there and itās ultimately up to you and what you want to deal with for your future.
2 Likes
Think more of yourself. No one deserves to be treated like that. And then essentially blamed for her fuck up!
Im sorry but I Love my husband more than life itself and we have been thru some really tuff times but not once did I ever think of you hung another man or letting one touch me. Absolutley no excuse. Your worth more than that. Smile move on and raise that little one right so he knows never to let someone do that to him. What she did is NOT ok!
Get the DNA test! My husband didnāt know his son wasnāt his until he was 9 and the judge said since he signed the birth certificate he still had to pay child support. Better to know and make an informed decision than regret it later, this doesnāt sound like it will be a lengthy marriage if she cheated and is the one making demands.
They make an at home test you can order off amazon for like $80 do it discretely and you will know and she wont have 2
Get a test to ease ur mind. But only u can decide If u can stay with her if it not ur child. Follow ur heart DNA doesnāt make u a father love does.
Leave. Itās only gonna get worse
3 Likes
You deserve to know if the child is yours. Honestly, I think you two should separate until the baby is born, once he or she arrives get a paternity test. The fact that sheās threatening to leave if you get a test shows her toxicity and childishness. Sheās acting as if she never betrayed you! She seems very manipulative and young minded unless thereās more to the story that wasnāt mentionedā¦ get the test. You deserve to know f all that it shouldnāt matter crap lol
I think only you know what to do. Would you be able to raise another manās child fully as your own?
Would you be able to trust her again?
Would this lead to future fights in front of your child?
Just refer to her as your ex-wife from now on ā¦ what an absolute narcissist
1 Like
itās not about you or her. the child deserves to know. all kids turn 18 and can do the dna home test kits and learn themselves. is it worth losing your childās trust down the road in life to protect your wife?
Regardless of her threats, you deserve to know whether the baby is urs or not. You are not required to support a child that isnāt yours. Unless of coarse itās ur choice to do so. You left in the first place because of her cheating. That seems to be what she is best at, besides being controlling and demanding. She has shown zero emotions towards you, like sorrow or regrets for destroying your relationship and carving your heart. Sad as it is, a cheater always cheats. You deserve better. See an attorney for a divorce and split custody of your child and make the request for a paternity test as part of the paperwork. That way by law she will have to comply. Move on with your life and find a healthy, loving relationship for you and your offspring. Best of luck and may God guide and bless you
It is better to be from a broken home than to live in one. Read that again.
5 Likes
After all that shit you have forgiven her for and she wonāt allow you even a DNA test? It would be the lack of respect that finished it for meā¦just saying. Sorry youāre going through this.
2 Likes
You deserve to know the truth do a DNA test and decide what you want to do, if she has an issue with it have it done on your own, you definitely have a right to know, I donāt believe she will leave if you do the test and if she does I believe she just feels guilty and if it proves you are not the father then she has to live with that result which is a reminderā¦ Either way do the test I would want to know. If she does leave bc if it then did she really love you anyway???
Walk away! At this point you love her more than you love yourself. It will NEVER workout. You are with a narcissist! She will repeat this over and over again. seek self worth.
4 Likes
Get the DNA test. If you put your name on the birth certificate and find out later that itās not your child you are stuck. If you divorce she will be able to get you for child support for a child that isnāt yours. I saw that happen to a friend of mine. He spent a lot of money on lawyers and he still lost and is paying for a child not his until that child is 18ā¦He has 12 more years to pay her money for this child. What makes it worse is the biological father and the mother are now together and they throw it in his face whenever they can.
She is toxic run ! If not for you than for your son ! It WILL affect him if you stay in that relationship. I know thatās not what you WANT to hear but itās what you NEED to hear . She is a narcissist and it will only get worse .
Oh no I would leave. Your son will see the boundaries you set and wont tolerate. Also you deserve better!
1 Like
Wow if you take a DNA test she will leave you??? Wth??? That is so wrong! Iād leave her a@@ now!!!
2 Likes
Get the test and if she leaves, she leaves. The child has a right to know who their biological father is. She isnāt thinking about that child. Itās not about you or her unfortunately. If you choose to stay and still raise it, thatās your choice. But do so wholeheartedly knowing. However, her saying sheāll leave if you do a DNA, you already may have the answer to that test.
1 Like
It is better for a child to come FROM a broken HOME then LIVE in one!!!
1 Like
You and the child DESERVE to know!! Try to explain it as kindly as you can, or take her to paternity court. OR you can wait for it to be born and pay out the ass for a test and do it without her knowing I WOULD NOT SUGGEST THAT IF YALL ALREADY HAVE TRUST ISSUES
Let the bitch leave. GET THE DNA TEST!
Love is not enough to stay.
2 Likes
Sheās for the streets and is acting as such, send her back and find someone who values you and respects you, too many stds along with corona going around to be playing around with someone like that who doesnāt respect your health or you as a person. Get a DNA test ASAP
Sheās toxic honestly you should leave. Sheās using how much you love her against you making everything your fault. Run fast and take your son hopefully he wonāt grow up like his mother.
3 Likes
Mannnnn u either tell her ass to get an abortion or live with it for the rest of your lifeā¦but time is of the essenceā¦
1 Like
Marissa Jess dang babe what you think? I think if the kids not his he should take the child that is his and start a new life. I could not fathom raising another mans baby that came from an affair. I feel like there would be alot of resentment towards the child as it grows. But I feel for him cause its so hard to give up on someone when you love them and planned on spending forever with them. Maybe the kid is his and they can try to work it out. Lots of couples therapy tho either way.
Marissa Jess dang babe what you think? I think if the kids not his he should take the child that is his and start a new life. I could not fathom raising another mans baby that came from an affair. I feel like there would be alot of resentment towards the child as it grows. But I feel for him cause its so hard to give up on someone when you love them and planned on spending forever with them. Maybe the kid is his and they can try to work it out. Lots of couples therapy tho either way.
Seriously RUN donāt walk RUN from this toxic narcissistic relationship!! Sheās going to leave if you do a DNA!! Sweetheart tell her donāt let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!
3 Likes
Id say leave her .only because her actions and actions after the fact.why would she LEAVE you for wanting to know if the baby is yours mabey she messed with him more than once.and trust me u dont wanna stay with someone for the sake of a child.u stay with someone because u love them.they love u and you treat eachother right .my dad always told me if u cant let it go let him go.so thats the only advice i can give u if u feel your gonna worry the rest of your life with this person LEAVE now
Sheās super toxic. Sheās gonna cheat on you, get pregnant, then tell you sheāll leave if you test baby? Who does she think she is?? She doesnāt have a leg to stand on by telling you what you can and cannot do after sheās been foul. Nothing good can come from someone who tries to control others when they have no control over themselves. For her to let some side dude possibly knock her up, as a married woman, sheās narcissistic and opportunistic. When you left with your son she should have been working on fixing your relationship. Instead she took advantage and went about her businesses like she doesnāt have a care in the world about her family. This will only continue, unless you leave or she get serious professional help
5 Likes
None of those kids are yours!! You have no balls!!! Quit enabling her!!!
You need to tell her to get out. Stay in your home and keep your child. That woman is bad news.
3 Likes
In a lot of states, the baby will be automatically yours bc you are married. I would consult a lawyer.
1 Like
She sounds super controlling and you sound like an idiot after first timeā¦no offense but head up man, she obviously is playing you and seems like already messing around on you. Put you and the kid first, thatās it.
I would do the test anyways, You have EVERY right to know if she fooled around on you and is having that dudes kid. Itās a risk and she can put u down for it but thatās her own shit. Love or not, u deserve 5he truth man thatās it
4 Likes
The test needs to be done in case of future health issues that need a DNA match or compatibility. Best to know now rather than later.
5 Likes
When the baby is born request a DNA test. Itās your right. And itās alittle bat shit crazy that she cheated and blamed you for her doing so. Go to couples therapy
DNA testā¦fuck herā¦sounds like she already knows the baby is not yours!
leave her - run !! Take your son and leave her. The trust is broken.
No seriously if she refuses to do DNA - it stinks!!
You waste your life at a women who doesnāt appreciate you
1 Like
Get DNA !!! If she leaves oh well
1 Like
Trying to manipulate you by saying if you get a dna test she will leave?! Wow! How shitty of her to even say that like you shouldnāt have the right to know! Sheās in NO position to be making demands and calling the shots bc after all, she is the one who created all these problems and cheated. Leave her, quickly. You deserve better my dude
One get tested for ST Is and do the damn DNA test dont be a pushover. Let her leave and keep receipts she strayed you didnt. In some states that gives you more defense if it ends in divorce.
1 Like
It is always hard to break up a family. But the things your son will go through are not for any child to live with daily. She will cheat again, is the person she is and will always be until she gets help. Protect yourself, get the DNA done on the baby and move ahead so one day you can find a woman who is the best for you and your son. She is not done cheating because she knows you will always put up with it and come back. Not a life for a little son to grow up living. You will fall out of love with her and it may not take as long as you think. The sooner you separate the sooner you can heal and go on to live the life you deserve.
3 Likes
Get the test done. If itās not your child, then you can make a decision on what to do. But I wouldnāt just take her word. How can you trust her ever again? Why is she so against the DNA testing? Threatening to leave you over having the test done? Why? I feel bad for you and hope she decides to do the right thing. Shame on anyone who cheats! Be a grown up and have a conversation with your spouse. Cheaters are the worst! You can never rebuild trust with someone with no morals. Good luck to you.
Her refusing the DNA test is the truth about their sexual encounter. Sheās afraid it isnāt yours too. Thatās a lot of dishonesty to forgiveā¦like a lot.
2 Likes
A healthy relationship is built on trust. Her actions seem to be very manipulative and abusive giving you ultimatums. If she wanted to regain your trust and to start fresh why not get the test so you can yourself decide what to do next? Nobody can make the decisions for you on whether you stay or go. Being that there has been obvious infidelity, whether you love someone or notā¦ There is still respect to be had on both parts. I would highly suggest that if deciding to stay, there has to be clear boundaries being made. Maybe counseling as well. The behavior of her proceeding to take the steps to cheat because you were setting boundaries and needing time to process is truly disrespectful. This all is manipulative abusive behaviors on her part.
Get a DNA anyway donāt let her play u like that either way sheāll walk from you and thatās her way out to by saying that cause she also knows you might leave her so she want to advance her self before you just go by what your heart tells you put it all in gods hands his in control. Amen hallelujah
She is manipulating you. She should do the DNA test and give you that option. But if you do forgive her completely, it wouldnt change the outcome whether the baby is yours or not. But it is good to know,that is your right. Honestly this sounds like a toxic situation that would be impossible to come back from. You already feel that way,I think it would be hard for you to see another manās child everyday.
2 Likes
You deserve the DNA test. The fact that sheās saying sheāll leave you if you do one is a straight red flag. Which means she probably thinks that baby is not yours . And the fact that she knew she wasnāt on birth control and still slept with someone else means she knew what she was doing . And to sleep with someone else to hurt you isnāt right .
You deserve to know the truth , and itās up to you to decide on what to do.
Just because you guys have tough times doesnāt give her the right to sleep with someone as soon as your gone thatisnāt how marriage works unless you both have agreed to see other people. Please make sure that this marriage is what you really want . Because to me . You deserve a lot better than your so called wife.
2 Likes
Itās not going to get better sadlyā¦ I wish you luck, but a real woman doesnāt cheat out of spite, and she canāt tell you not to do a paternity test. Try to get custody, if not share custody. I will pray for youš
3 Likes
Do the test. It will only get worse. If you donāt know!
Even if you decide to stay and be a parent to this child the risk of the other man wanting to be a part of the childās life is probable as well. Move forward with the DNA test just to be able to make a better informed decision.
I would leave her without even thinking. She cheated u once, she will do it again!
3 Likes
Then let her leave you. You, the possible other dad and MOSTLY the child will need to and have the right to grow up knowing who his/her dad is. Sheās being very selfish
1 Like