She could be suffering mentally… but that’s still no excuse to treat you like that . But also could be she’s really not that into you . She may just be settling with you cause you help take care of her kids … and she don’t wanna do it alone … that’s definite red flags 
she’s not really into you . Seek counseling maybe. And if she doesn’t wanna do that than she obviously don’t want the relationship.
6 Likes
Like I said the other day…we lose ourselves waiting for someone else to fix themselves…
2 Likes
When you’re both in a good mood talk to her, ask her why she behaves like that and put a boundary tell her that you Won’t entertain that.
1 Like
I would definitely be out that door. They treat you like that for as long as you allow them to and when you are gone they pull the “I didn’t realize what I had” You will lose yourself in hopes of waiting for someone like that to change… I learned the hard way and never again! You do not treat someone who you “love” like that. Absolutely no excuse. Seems like she should be single and fix her issues.
3 Likes
I guarantee she’s had some type of trauma in her past. Maybe look past the silence and try to ask her what’s going on. If she says nothing then she covering. I’ve been where she is and luckily my husband didn’t give up and throughout the many years together I’ve seen he’s here to stay until God calls him home. But past trauma can bare it’s ugly head in a beautiful relationship. Maybe suggest getting a sitter one night and having a night in just to concentrate on you guys.
3 Likes
Don’t go any further til you find the underlining problem.
If you get into a wrong marriage that’s completely hell that you’re experiencing on earth you can’t suffer whilst you still have plenty of options Divorce her my guy sounds heartless but I’m every relationship your happiness must come first
She may need mental health care. Anger comes from somewhere probably not you or the kids but the past. Ask her to go to counseling. Go with her
5 Likes
Some times a victim of abuse will become an abuser in their next relationships.
7 Likes
I’d take a break if you have somewhere you can go for a few days to see if that helps things. Its hard but sometimes you just need to step back.
As bad as it sounds this sounds like me 
i have PMDD and i act out like this my partner works through it with me i feel awful and i tell he’s better off without me because i cant help it as much as i want to stop i cant. Look up pmdd and see if she matches the symptoms before you jump in and dump her . Its awful when it takes over but then when its gone we do just want to be held and reassured. Its horrible to live with for the woman suffering and the poor partner trying to help her. Xx
1 Like
She’s sick in the Head
Do what is right in the heart God gave U. Dump the dude and put UR light where it can shine. I know that hurts.
Do what my dad used to do…if mum started on him he would put on his hat and walk back out the door…
3 Likes
Luv unconditionally. That hurts the most.
Nope you dont deserve that…
And UR posts are not.
Can’t be her therapist. Either she is it or she isn’t. Life it’s too short to waste years trying to fix someone else. It works for a bit but it’s taxing on you as a person and a man that also deserves to be considered. Over time you’ll be so hurt and tired it won’t take much to just pack up and leave with no regrets. Most of us have been there before and it took years of our lives we won’t ever get back. Think about that.
She’s a C U Next Tuesday and taken advantage of you so you should probably not marry the b*****.
You need to sit her down and talk to her. Ask her what’s going on and why she behaves this way. Suggest she gets some anger management
1 Like
When a man acts this way everyone screams “narc” and “run away” but when a woman acts this way she needs help and poor woman is suffering from ppsd etc. Bullshit. She is blatantly abusing you and your goodness.
Leave !! It will only get worse sorry to say, good luck
I think the silent treatment may be her way of not being cruel. Something is wrong within.
1 Like
She’s just being woman mate know this and know peace
5 Likes
Well, 1) This isn’t healthy and 2) You deserve an explanation on why she does/what triggers this so you can figure out what to do. If her job is so stressful maybe it’s time to talk about her changing the cycle starting with that. Whatever it is, it’s not normal, and she clearly needs help processing it. Talk to her. No matter if she wants to. She HAS to figure this out or ask for help. There are children in this situation and they deserve a happy, whole hearted mom. And you deserve that in a partner. Dont marry her until she does the work on herself, or she will continue to drag you down with her.
4 Likes
You have to stand up for yourself or else she’ll keep walking all over you! Grow some next time she starts acting out and tell her you will not put up with her abuse. Be stern about it too don’t be a pushover. Your feelings are valid and she needs to know that you are not her emotional punching bag. You are her partner, her man and she needs to treat you with respect. She needs to find another outlet or get some therapy.
1 Like
I wonder how her previous relationship ended? (With father of her 4 kids) I wonder, if it ended badly, did she ever receive counseling/therapy? If not, is she carrying insecurities into this new relationship? Is she testing you? I think speaking to her about how she is treating you is a must. Could you write her a letter about how you feel? It might be a gentler way into a harder conversation face to face where you can discuss how to move forward.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My wife has been taking her anger out on me: Advice? - #2 by MalaMoragain - Mamas Uncut
Also though, please note, you are the person she loves and she feels safe and comfortable with you. Sometimes people lean on those they feel safe around knowing that the person won’t leave. They have frustration and no where else for it to go so she lays it on you. It doesn’t mean it’s healthy for your relationship but maybe it’s worth counseling before jumping ship. Maybe she needs medicine and doesn’t realize it. If you love those kids then they probably love you too. There’s more in play here than just you and her.
As a woman who struggles with this I’d say talk to her. Tell her that you’re at your limit and you don’t know If love is enough to stay in this relationship because the way she is treating you is hurting you. When you struggle with mental illness like depression and bipolar it’s hard control your emotions especially when you don’t see how bad you are hurting the other person. Don’t stay quiet. If you have to change in you’re relationship she has to too.
Sounds like depression 
ask her, offer to listen or get her some help like a counselor
Sounds like she has a mood disorder
1 Like
Man just walk away. If she cant communicate like a grown up and gets mad because of little stuff then gives the silent treatment like a child. I would leave bud, and if its ment to be then she will walk back to you, but you deserve better
11 Likes
Get your pastor involved. She needs a safe place to talk it out.
If this was the other way, EVERYONE would immediately say “leave, he’s cheating! He’s manipulative “
Your hurt is valid.
I am so sorry you are going through this.
I would think long and hard before committing to a legal marriage with this person.
She needs to hear you, and not dismiss you.
If she’s not giving a reason why she’s deleting your comments, then it is not your fault for only thinking the worst.
I hope you are okay, and in a safe household.
Just know, you have options. Focus on your happiness, too. That’s okay.
32 Likes
From the way you are explaining it… her behavior is totally unacceptable… the silent treatments, getting angry but yet never wanting to talk about it, deleting the compliment that you left on her picture, etc…
You are getting a glimpse of what your future will look like if you follow through with marrying her. The chances of her really changing are pretty slim considering she never wants to discuss issues… so now you have to make a decision… is this the life you want to live with her?? You know what you need to do… I wish you the best of luck!!
I’m going to say it’s a toxic relationship and it doesn’t mean either are bad people, just some are like oil and water. If you go to church together does the church offer counseling service? If she refuses I’d walk away for the kids sake. They have to learn this isn’t how a relationship works.
3 Likes
I would leave her with her 4 kids and get myself a job Christians don’t act like that
7 Likes
( LEAVE) because shes not going to stop
6 Likes
It sounds like your wife is dealing with something that she doesnt know how to express or talk about. PTSD from childhood or something? I am no expert but it sounds like shes crying out for help by “acting” out. (Like a child would).
And with you being the closest you are going to cop it.
Maybe try and talk to her or see if you can get help for her? The pastor maybe? Or someone from church ?
Good luck! I will pray for your family 
get rid asap future wife can you imagine what gonna be like when are married sounds like she going out her way to give you emotional abuse
She deleted your comment!!! Red flag!!!
3 Likes
Coming from someone with anxiety and depression… it seems to me that she’s suffering from one of those and doesn’t know how to ask for help. Her emotions are coming out misdirected and she likely feels guilty about it but doesn’t know how to bring it up, so she stays silent.
22 Likes
Super toxic. She’s not happy and neither are you. Time to part. You are tolerating emotional abuse. Think of the kids and the role model you want your kids around.
1 Like
Mansplaining in a mom life group. Go somewhere else
14 Likes
This is emotional abuse.
I say that as someone who has been this wife before. And I’d give anything to take it back.
I had to work really fucking hard to change the toxic things (like that) about myself. And how to communicate with my husband about why I felt angry, and why he was unintentionally getting the brunt force of that anger.
If she isn’t willing to see her wrongs & actively work on fixing them and communicating with you, you’re wasting your time.
9 Likes
If she deleted your comment, she deleted it for a reason, that’s a red flag, she didn’t want someone seeing it
6 Likes
Have you spoken to her about her anger? How unreasonable she is at expecting physical intimacy or comfort in place of verbal apologies? Not okay. Its actually immature. Being christian doesnt mean you have all your ish together, but it does mean when confronted on how you hurt someone, you listen, apologize and try to do better. She sounds immature , and maybe resentful because shes working and you are home…even if its with her kids. I totally suggest intense couples therapy.
1 Like
Maybe she’s mad that you made her pick you up at 3am and now you’re *itching about her on fb in a mom group. How’d you find this group anyways? Is it because she’s in this group? Move around creep.
3 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My wife has been taking her anger out on me: Advice? - #2 by MalaMoragain - Mamas Uncut
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My wife has been taking her anger out on me: Advice? - #2 by MalaMoragain - Mamas Uncut
Sounds like the problem isn’t you due to her wanting to cuddle still.
I’d say the silence is due to her not being able to control the anger and not wanting to argue.
She needs to see a mental health professional.
1 Like
The lack of communication is scary. My husband and I talk about everything and discuss how we feel and why. If she won’t communicate with you now it will lead to trouble
1 Like
Run, Forest, run! The kids will adjust to your absence. You’ve got to put yourself first, when happiness and peace of mind is at stake.
4 Likes
It will break your heart,& probably of her children, you must go. Your marriage will be bitter, and strained & it’s not good for the children to grow up in this destructive situation.
The best thing you can do is to never take it personally. I’ve been through this myself. I always just wait a minute, take a breath, remind myself and say something like “I’m listening “. I’ve been through this and being very careful not to take her outbursts personally has really taught me a lot.
8 Likes
It could be anything that’s causing her to be this way.Im not saying it is,but she could be going through pre menopause.Mood swings change like day and night.And a woman will attack the one she loves, without realizing what she done.Im not saying it is or not.Women go through more changes then you realize.And it could be her work,stress.But if you’re staying at home with the kids could trigger that to.I don’t know if you have a job or not at night.And she’s always putting the blame on you for everything.Sometimes that’s the first thing people think in a relationship is that she is messing around.But that’s not always the case.Or maybe both of you need some alone time without the kids.Just a night by yourselves, sometimes that helps.I can’t tell you what to do,but give you advice.Or get some counciling for couples.I hope you both can work it out,and make things right with each other.Gods speed on your journey together, prayers for you 
both.
She may not know how to convey what she’s feeling. She could be dealing with mild depression. Give her some time she loves you and will come around.
Sounds like you are a positive influence in the children’s lives so I hope you can maintain a relationship with them for their sake. I’m sure the kids have witnessed their mom’s anger so I hope she’s made aware that she needs help with that. Maybe she’s menopausal? If she seems reluctant to discuss sensitive issues with you now I don’t see that improving over time. I think I’d back away from the relationship until she decided to open her heart to you. Good luck to you.
She’s emotionally abusive bud. Plain and simple. Mental and emotional abuse is so standardized by women. I’ve even seen these types of situations in lesbian relationships. Where one if them uses anger as a form of control. That is straight up emotional and mental abuse.
This is very toxic and she has some serious underlying trauma she needs to address. My mom was always angry growing up… she loved us and she worked hard to provide for us as a single mother, but she was far from the bubbly, lovey type. She was always in a bad mood… she has begun to heal and grow and has gotten a lot better about her frame of mind nowadays. But she experienced more trauma than any child should ever know, her life was full of hardships and she be responsible for caring for kids when she herself was still one. She had alot of pain and resentment but wasn’t really mature enough to deal with it. My guess is the wife feels something similar and can’t or won’t address the real sourceof her anger. That doesn’t make it acceptable of course, the husband doesn’t deserve to be a punching bag. He needs to stop putting up with it and call her out. Don’t allow her to love bomb him afterwards until she confronts the real problem.
3 Likes
I’m sorry, my guy. But this is super toxic. She may have been taught that women shouldn’t show anger or express negative feelings, but her just mistreating you until she no longer feels that way is abusive. I would suggest counseling before taking the big leap.
2 Likes
She sounds like she needs a mental health counselor to work her issues out with. She could become abusive if anger issues aren’t addressed.
1 Like
The silent treatment is never okay . Frankly , it’s childish and emotionally abusive . Try and talk to her but if she isn’t willing to listen , leave and never look back .
15 Likes
You can go on forever with the what ifs and finger pointing. The fact is no matter whose fault it is neither yours or her children deserve to be forced into this disturbing relationship. Grab your kiddos and kiss hers goodbye. You’ll be doing everyone a big favor.
2 Likes
I would definitely hold off on the wedding until you guys are able to work this issue out. This is a communication issue, and if it’s not fixed it can lead to a lot of issues in the future. Wish you luck!
12 Likes
First of all staying home is very much a job it’s very important job. It also sounds to me like she may be having anxiety the closer you get to the wedding date. When she wants a hug or cuddle that might just mean she needs to just be held. Bc sometimes as a woman we don’t always no what’s wrong. Just be there not always having to talk but she might open up. Remember you love each other and god will help you fix the problem. Praying for you and your family.
I never understood the silent treatment. How does your partner know what’s wrong if you don’t tell him? How can your partner make it right if they did something that bothers you? I think couples counseling would be great. Good luck!
9 Likes
That’s a recipe for disaster. My husband had that with his first marriage and the resentment built up and built up till all he wanted was out. I hope you guys can make it through, because not talking things through is not good for a relationship. I know because I go through that because of his past experience in “not” talking about things. Communication is one of the keys to a healthy relationship.
2 Likes
Do you know her five love languages? It’s a great book. Also, maybe the kids are getting all your attention. She lays on you? She needs her love languages met.
I would tell her you will speak to one of the elders at the church and I definitely would do it
If things don’t change I definitely wouldn’t get married I would leave because it will affect you and the children
2 Likes
So why can’t you start the conversation? Nothing gets fixed if it doesnt change. Other than that I’d say you may be opting for a lifetime of emotional abuse. If you cant talk now just imagine the misery and how lives will be affected. It’s a two way street.
3 Likes
I had a partner who would go 3 days without saying a word! It got to be unbearable bc he felt ok after that & expected me to just carry on like nothing happened. I would try to get him to talk about what caused such silence but it seemed to make the situation worse. The silence got to be torture& after 13 years I finally said enough! It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. He had PTSD very bad; we tried counseling but NADA…it just wasn’t working. I hope you find a solution.
3 Likes
Since you go to Church together, have you tried premarital counseling through your church? If that’s not an option and you want to make this work then I personally would do relationship counseling prior to marriage. I hope this works out in the best way for both of you
24 Likes
You can always seek counciling yourself, find out if there’s maybe an issue with yourself. Once you try that, then see if she will go alone then as a couple. If money is a problem, try applying for sliding scale.
3 Likes
Is she doing this to make you leave. If you leave its not her fault then. Jealous maybe you have more time with her kids? She needs to stop and be honest with you, and possibly herself
3 Likes
It could be her hormonal change of life if you all are in your 40’s and or 50’s …I started my change of life when I was 36 and I’d snap and not know why, it through me into a depression. A doctor recognized it and gave me the correct birth control and now I am fixed and I don’t snap anymore…
2 Likes
You said you mainly stay with the kids while she works. Do you do any cooking or house cleaning while she is at work or are you waiting on her to come home and cook and clean. Women work so hard while they are working outside the home that they come home and need to have some quite time to adjust from work to home life. Both have to work out who is going to do what. Neither one can do it all.
3 Likes
You should read or listen to How to be a 3% man by Corey Wayne. He has YouTube videos that you can watch as well. You’re being too available.
2 Likes
As someone who reacts this sort of way, I feel bad for you…
However whenever I react this way, it’s because if I say something it’s going to be out of anger and hurtful… I usually don’t speak to my spouse until I’ve calmed down and can talk to him reasonably and speak through my feelings so that we can come to a peaceful resolution… if she’s not even speaking about what she’s upset about with you though at the end of the day… you need to speak up and tell her how it affects you… that it’s slowing chipping away at your relationship… try and figure out what’s triggering her, what she’s dealing with emotionally … unfortunately feelings can become aggravated during hormonal changes as well as menopause so try figure out if this is something that’s happening too
I found that majority of our fights were happening once a month around my period… I’ve learned since then to keep my mouth shut until I figure out if I’m just hormonal or actually upset lol
2 Likes
She needs anger management. I wouldn’t marry her tell she gets her anger under control. Since you both attend church, you might want to get some Christian counseling.
3 Likes
You tell her you love her and the children, there for, you insist that this unhealthy display & non resolved anger must be addressed before things develop any further. If you do not do this or she refuses and you stay with her, you will be miserable until you have to leave.
And it is lousy for the children!
1 Like
Well I don’t follow god’s & religions but I don’t think going to church together is the solution to your issue here. If you do something wrong it’s okay for her to take it out on you. If you haven’t and she keeps on doing it multiple times, I guess it’s a bit odd and wrong on her part. If not you’ll loose your self respect and then there’s nothing you could do about it. Before saying her kids are like your own kids, I suggest you talk to her and find a solution to the current anger issues. If solvable fine, if not leave. Or else you’ll end up hurting yourself and the kids also.
1 Like
It will be hard, but cut this woman loose. She doesn’t respect you, and neither will her kids as long as you allow her to act this way without a response.
I hope that you seek counseling before you get married. She may have some mental heath issues going on…
Give her an ultimatum. Either she goes to therapy and stops treating you this way or you leave. It’s emotional abuse and you don’t have to accept that
Ignore her, don’t speak to her either… just do your own thing as if she doesn’t exist… give her space until such time she is the one who’ll come and approach you…just wait until she’s ready…
I’ve never new others went through this same situation but instead I’m the wife.
1 Like
You can only try so many times and can only take so much. By the sounds of it, you need to put your foot down now and say ‘you either talk, or we are done and explain why your done’ her behaviour towards you isn’t fair especially if you’ve done nothing wrong and the fact you take her kids on like your own! She should be more grateful towards you. Something is wrong in your relationship and it’s time to see to it, if it means walking away then so be it, how is it fair you tolerating these outburts? I find it odd she’s deleting nice comments from you off social media, that’s bizzare! Don’t take anymore crap, sit down and talk or think of yourself and the atmosphere of the children and do the right thing. Good luck! Life’s too short to be treated like you don’t matter.
She has an attitude problems that needs addressing and she needs to work on that. But we all have things we need to work on as we are not perfect. Maybe you should try showing her more love and affection when shes in this mood…talking smoothly to her untill she feels better. When shes in a better mood address the issue. Speak to your pastor about it together and pray fervently about it to God and ask for the patience to help her deal with this. As she sees you are willing and understanding she might feel more comfortable to trust you more and open up to you. But be patient. We all have issues, some more intense than others…if you love her and wanna build a good strong relationship with her, then you will need patience. Remmber rewarding evil with good breaks the bondage of sin. So by comforting her with affection might be all she needs. Maybe shes going through a lot, and just dont know how to deal with it, or how to properly express herself. But by you showing her affection and compassion and PATIENCE might help her a lot.
If she is not willing to grow in Christ then you should also speak to God about this. If you are married…keep on praying and working towards progress (maybe counseling for you both ect). If you are not married you should ask God if this is the one for you?
I hope this helps. Remmber always pray for God to help you overcome sinfull bondage. If you have a spouse…ALLWAYS do it together in prayer. Jesus said " where two or more are gathered I will be in their midst". Keep God at the center of your relationship…keep a positive Spirit by reading scriptures and a open mind and willing Spirit to obey and change.
You would be self destructive to stay in a relationship with a woman like this. She scapegoats you and uses you. Unless you’re a masocist, get out now.
Put the marriage on hold while you seem counseling and therapy.
Start with your minister . If she refuses go for yourself.
Her reluctance to communicate with you is a red flag so is her anger.
As someone who has a lot of anger issues connected with my ptsd this is how it comes off. I get overwhelmed or over stimulated and I lash out in general whoever is there. It took me a long time to learn this about myself and really take accountability for it. I’m not sure if she has some issues in her past that could be similar to mine. But I’ll tell you when I get like this I just someone to hold me and understand that my anger isn’t real anger but it took me a long time to realize what was going on and be able to tell someone else when it was happening. I still am not sure what triggers these episodes.
Naahhh, she needs professional help. Do NOT marry her until she seeks help and you see change in her. Communication is EVERYTHING! If she can’t communicate, it’s a deal breaker. How can you function w/out it? It’s not healthy to walk on eggshells and I wouldn’t.
the question to ask…
are you willing to live with this behavior?
if not, dont.
counseling… for sure. not everyone is happy all the time…
and behavioe appears childish… but everybody’s different. get professional help 1st.
Kinda sounds like she might be a narcissist, becareful on that my ex fiance was &I was the 1 with kids that called him dad ,we all loved him ,but he just got worse&worse &did that silence &less communication unless it was came convenient times him come for everything was more about him,his way ,cuddle &make his mood&feelings better but if I tried talk to him how it was affected us he get mad &say I made his mood off worse ,just always complaining &misbehaving &take off not talk again say was my fault he do that .&if things our relationships go bad it will be only all my fault that he can’t be held responsibility for anything or blame only me because he is "innocent &but know everything " just because was still a virgin &I wasn’t &also hubby or male partner isn’t to ever be blamed &each day new say come like new day get over the past like it never happened or was said I had to just come to him &forget whatever he was said or way he behave toward me or the kids or anyone &everyone he was 3 years younger than me .I finally had to just block &leave I couldn’t take anymore especially for my kids sake&my sanity to hold on to better care for them. He made us really sad ,my kids asked why he did that ?
I been married 25 years and this sounds alot like me…we take anger out on the ones we love bc your our person and if you just let us vent then give us space we will get over it but I will tell you this is a hard life and NOT for everyone…I’m lucky enough to have found a man who can deal we and my bullshit…but I also have to deal with his bullshit so it just works…
May I suggest that you both get some counseling outside of your church so it’s neutral.
Well it’s been a week for me that’s why I’m sleeping in a separate bedroom best thing you can do is move on find a new love and pray for God he will provide and don’t do anything for her
The “silence treatment” shows she has poor communication skills