Well like I’ve always said. What you see is what your going to get. You can’t change a person. Change is not in your hands it’s on her. Just because she goes to church doesn’t make it the right choice. Apparently she doesn’t see herself. Got ig news for you it will never change!!! RUN!!
1 Like
My mom and sister are like this , this is how they handle their emotions no matter what the issue is , it’s something she needs to be aware of and work on if she doesn’t you will be living with this in this relationship ,when shes ready to talk listen but tell her how you feel and ask her to work on it if she don’t …feel free to do what you have to do because nobody should have to feel like shit and walk around on eggs shell all day 
Address the problem now, or it will only get worse with marriage. Why the silent treatment? How childish.
2 Likes
She sounds mentally abusive. You don’t have any kids together, just your two and her separate 4. And taking care of that many kids can take a toll, she obviously doesn’t appreciate what he does.
Huge red flags, don’t get married get help, sounds like she has someone else, Don’t accept that no speaking abuse!!!
Sounds like she might have a chemical imbalance maybe she needs some attention from specialist
1 Like
Does your church do premarital counseling? It sounds like it might help you. Try to sit her down and express to her how serious you feel about this concern
Have you ever just asked …you okay ? I mean I was under stress because we were living with my mother in law and his siblings constantly on me and my daughter, we were the black sheep of the family. I had to keep my mouth shut because I was the wife and wasn’t considered part of the family ( my husband ACTUALLY told me that! We aren’t together anymore,he soon ran off with some girl 
) He was constantly leaving to take care of his friend “Jeff” , my daughter and I were constantly hearing it from his siblings, my daughter and I both deal with anxiety attacks and depression and can’t afford psychiatrists so you can imagine what it was doing to us …and I was constantly yelling at him when he was there…I was under ALOT of stress and I was raised that family problems stay within the family since my daughter is my family ,I couldn’t yell at her so I had no one to turn to, my husband never listened to me , I would give him solutions to a problem and he wouldn’t listen , he would only listen if someone else gave him the answer. He would never even say thank you or appreciate one thing I did. Never apologized because he would always twist it , so I was always somehow at fault. …try ACTUALLY listening to her, what is making her stress ? …Sometimes we just need someone to actually listen , not to look for answers.
You need to stop allowing yourself to be disrespected this way. This lady has a problem and it will escalate. Next she will be hitting you.
Run run run - this behaviour is a sign of things to come and if it doesnt work out u will be paying forever for her kids -
This is emotional abuse and it will get worse, deal with it through counseling or move on. My ex-husband could hold out for months without talking to me, it’s sheer hell, one time it was 6 months without a single word.
Sounds like mental and emotional abuse. Huge red flag!
She might be going through something at work. Best thing to do would be to say nothing for now, make sure she enters a relaxing environment when she gets home, some tips for that are: install blue lights in the living room and bedroom, play relaxing music in the background, just not too loud, have something easy to munch on placed where it’s easily accessible, make sure kids know they shouldn’t be too loud when she gets home, keep television off in the first 30 minutes at least, make her sit down with a coffee or whatever drink she prefers and give her a foot massage or shoulder massage. Few other things you can do, but these definitely work. Once she is relaxed, ask her gently how things are going at work. You might not be able to help her with whatever she is going through at work, but being able to talk to open up and share with you will help her cope better…and keep in mind, it can be anything, so be open minded and be ready for it. She needs to be able to trust you enough to share anything with you, if she doesn’t feel like she can trust you, then you will need to build that trust. Just one very important note, lot of people won’t agree with this, but keep God and church talk out of it, it needs to be just between you and her. God and church talk might sound nice, but you need her to trust you, the real person, someone who is actually and physically available.
1 Like
Is she your wife or your future wife? If you have not married her yet I say pump the brakes, hard. You both have children from your first marriages. Just because you both go to church doesn’t mean you should pursue this relationship. Whatever her issues are she needs therapy. I’m not saying you are perfect, I’m not blaming her, I’m saying she needs to develop the tools to live with the stresses and pressures of daily life. If this is how she treats you now, how will she respond if she is ever confronted with real problems? You need an adult partner, not an immature partner who can’t or won’t communicate or treat you with respect and kindness.
If you ARE married you need couples therapy, ASAP. Remember, the relationship you are modeling will have very detrimental effect on all those kids.
She’s proudly cheating our about to cheat…and her guilt is tering her to pieces.
She has deep seated issues that need to be resolved before she commits to a relationship
Woah just awful ,I would seriously question myself if marrying this person is the way to go ,too bad for the kids and you 
,so sorry .
You take care of her 4 kids and your 2? She should prolly be more appreciative of you. And your a good guy and your religious and faithful? Where do they made guys like you?? Haha you can comment on my Instagram pics if u want. I won’t delete it. You might want to reconsider who your marrying because do you want to live like that the rest of your life?
My advice? Awareness. When does a fun time count most? It counts with the person who picks you up at 3 am from your work; hey handsome, need a ride? If not that, mate looks sleepy, yawning too much to say anything, and use sign language while hiding a sour face until nice and snug back in bed; not angry, that’s evil, when you need help. What if your two kids need help from her? Fun dates are different. Not talking to you for over a day? How will it effect your two children, they are your kids and what happens to you happens to them. Would you allow her to treat them this way? Awareness, patterns begin and there are stages. Deleting your nice post? How do your kids feel about this, her deleting your post? I think they would feel hurt. Her actions effect your kids. Count the fun times when it is more of a challenge. But what do I know, not much really. lol
How come your not working? Maybe she doesn’t like it
Maybe have a drink with her ex 
that should help you clean the dirt in your eyes!
Hopefully you have not married her yet! I wouldn’t- until this passive aggressive behavior stops! Nothing gets better when people play games like this.
Suggesting to exhaust all resources to better relationship. The willingness or interest of both to find out the whys, whats and hows will show both are serious to worked it out. This action might give you the answer(s)
Anger management, premarital counseling through church. She needs help & you do not need to be bullied or the punching bag.
I see some of the comments and…sometimes you just can’t excuse someones toxic behavior. can’t imagine this not escalating over the yrs. you’re not married yet and that’s how she treats you? and to top it off she won’t discuss it with you?? nope, bye
Is she going through menopause??? Sometimes that flings all things out of kilter
Don’t be a door mat … Make your feelings clear .
Run a mile, just the beginning, she will only get worse
Red flags. Get our now as gracefully as you can.
1 Like
Does she drink or take any medication? Sometimes that in itself will make someone act strange
visit psychiatrist or consultant she has been through some mental depression or physical weakness that’s why she doesn’t have control on her anger and weird behavior.
Maybe she is bipolar.
3 Likes
Talk to Jesus about it. He will fix it. Ask the church to pray they don’t need to know what it is. God will move on it. God bless you both.
She’s not the one
She’s subtly trying to get you to break up with her
Because she s gutless
End it not just for your sake
But your children
They deserve better Also
8 Likes
Red Flag…get counseling asap
2 Likes
Time for couples therapy.
2 Likes
Silent treatment is toxic and emotionally abusive
2 Likes
Transfer of bad feelings from her to you. Doing things to make you angry like her.
Talk about it with your Pastor, she may need counselling
Run fast if she’s like this now it’s going be worse after your married
1 Like
This is abuse… she needs help…
Dude! It’s menopause! Trust me! Hopefully it’ll get better. I had to learn to think before I speak. Sh!t just blurted out we mean it but we don’t. I will say this. Make sure you are helping out around the house and don’t have to be asked to do something! That is the biggest thing with me is if you see the floor needs vacuuming or the table needs dusting do it. Menopause takes you into a different era of your life and at this point you’re tired of raising kids and a husband. You expect your spouse to know what to do and when to do it and not have to be asked. She probably needs a mental break so every now and then take the kids and allow her some time to herself because menopause is rough.
Talk it out ,if things dont change,u giv the same treatment ,why suffer for no fault of urs
It will only get worse,give her to God
You need to see a counselor if you wish for this relationship to continue
9 Likes
You wonder what to do???
Life is short!
Do you really want this to be your life!!!
1 Like
Communication has to exist for a happy relationship.
Sounds like you neither one of you are giving what you need be smart
That sad I’m sorry to hear she doing that and not willing to talk about it cnt go on …so you have to tell her that she need help and if she dnt get it now you cnt stay with her as for her children you can still be in touch as they may need you take care
She has issues that wont be resolved. Not your problem. Get out.
It’s not a problem for people in love they always have a way out to solve petty problems.
Leave. You not a rehab
Make it a priority. It’s going to cause an issue and some “anger” but deal with it now before it gets worse or physical.
1 Like
This isnt going to get better. Get out and save your sanity, and your health.
4 Likes
This is verbal abuse and probably why she is single. Walk away and don’t look back because it will never change
I would run as fast as I could. This person needs a babysitter not a husband.
Mood swings no more like Bipolar RUN.
You say wife…and then you say future wife? Which is it??
Have u tried hitting her?
2 Likes
Explsin it’s hard to be cuddly you cannot talk through a situation.
1 Like
She doesn’t seem mature nap there feelings.
This person, whomever she is, sounds very erratic. At least from what you are telling us
Something’s rotten in Denmark.
Leave while you still can. A woman who refuses to talk about what’s bothering her… That’s a toxic relationship no matter what’s really going on.
5 Likes
She doesn’t want to talk because she’s ashamed. She deleted the beautiful comment for the same reason. She can’t let it out on the kids because its child abuse, but you don’t deserve abuse either. You need couples therapy not just for her, but for you. If she loves you she must be willing to do this. She’s not coping with life and is getting overwhelmed. Finding a plan with a mediator so that she isn’t taking the entire mental load of work and family. Hiring a nanny once a week, get grandparents to agree to twice a month help, friends occasionally, the husband takes a little more. Her support systems don’t appear to be very high. Asking for help is hard to do, make sure you accessed all possibilities before you give up on this relationship.
2 Likes
I agree with Jack Sluszka that she needs help, but I don’t think a mental hospital is the answer. Try sitting down with her and tell her you’re extremely worried about her. If you can tell she hears you but isn’t listening more drastic measures may be in order. Tell her you love her dearly and don’t want to lose her but if things don’t improve you’ll leave and take the kids with you. You’re all in my prayers.
3 Likes
Flat out tell her, i am here for you, but, i am not your punching bag. Let her know if it continues then we need to evaluate our relationship.
3 Likes
RUN!!! As fast as you can away from her. She has a lot of issues and you are just getting a taste of your future and her anger. No one should have to deal with a person’s anger issues. They are as bad as a mean drunk. They won’t change so think hard before you leap.
2 Likes
Sounds me to like she is finding life hard she could have depression doesn’t realise she taking it out on you just sit her down when kids in bed & tell her you are here for her & ask how she is feeling it mite mean she needs a change of job it could be getting to her that much she doesn’t realise it is you need have a good talk to see what’s going on no shouting just be calm & if she not coping tell her you can go doctors with her & they can help her you defo need to talk to each other & show her how much you love her you & the kids cook her favourite meal get her some flowers & chocolate to come home to to help her get the cakes help make her a cake with best mum & partner in the world do what ever you can to help her & I wouldn’t be please to come out at 3am get out of bed to pick someone up it would put me in a mood
Sometimes just being there is all you need to do. Do not hound her to spill her problems. Let her come to you on her own. Life could just really have her stressed right now. Covid living has not been easy. Stay strong and and just be there.
Sounds like he’s dealing with narcissism to me. It doesn’t get better and marriage WILL bring out the REAL BEAST. Run with your boys now while you can
She’s hiding something from you.
2 Likes
You think it’s Bad Now, Just Wait until She Starts Menopause !
2 Likes
All the people that are victim blaming are literally disgusting and are probably the same way as this woman is. Keep your work at work and your home life at home. She just sounds petty resentful and projecting insecurities. She’s toxic asf
First you need a job if you work from home ok. Take to each other you guys go to church talk to the pastor, priest someone . Good luck.
Why are you with this person…needs to sort herself out before she teams up with anyone…look at why you are someone like this…an correct that…
1 Like
Relationships take work from both sides it’s not a 50/50 deal it’s a 100 -100 deal both have to give 100%
1 Like
My wife divorced me, it was the nicest thing she ever did…
seems like she’s not that into you,especially since she deleted your comment or she’s immature. Nowadays men dont want to be responsible for other people’s kids. She should cherish that. That’s an important factor when you have kids. Just straight up ask her if she wanna be with you or not! Then take it from there. I could see if she’s insecure because of past relationship but to get angry at you because she had to pick you up especially knowing your car was in the shop? Doesn’t sound like a keeper to me.
And if ya Christians I don’t know about that laying up together unless ya was like that before following Christ. That’s what Christian means.
I would suggest therapy obviously something is setting her off a 3rd party just might be able to find out what it is that is making her angry
This is a huge red flag to me. The Silent Treatment is a big ball of passive aggression, manipulation and emotional blackmail. Are you sure you want to tie yourself to someone who has already proven to be foul-tempered and incapable of discussing issues like an adult? It’s emotionally immature. It sounds to me like you’ve taken on 5 extra kids.
5 Likes
Is she pregnant? Or did she recently have a baby?? PPD is what I’m thinking it sounds like.
I’m sorry but what an asshole! Leave her before it’s too late! She clearly has issues and is not afraid to show it
Get a ball gag and a cat o nine tails, at least get some enjoyment out of her anger
1 Like
Tell her to kiss your ass and move on simple
Kick her to the curb, mate, she’s not worth it.
See a counselor. Not Facebook
Run run away take your own kids and leave
It could be menopause…
Get out now stuff her
Therapy… she needs therapy.
In the famous words of Jesus… “Don’t be a dick”
If she is being a dick, Jesus says you should leave her
1 Like
She needs psychiatric help
Leave her bro… you don’t want to spend the rest of ur life like this… I promise you…
Just leave, itll only get worse
Get rid of the religion ….
She sound’s depressed
1 Like
Leave now before it’s too late
Why are you not working.
If ya cant talk an out it now, counselngorun likee hell
Get out of it run 
2 Likes
She sounds like a petty, juvenile, emotionally immature and socially retarded pain in the arse. This is a form of manipulation and emotional abuse. If I wanted to live with something as desperate and needy as she is, I would take in more stray animals. It’s not your job to serve as an emotional punching bag and your kids don’t need to witness it. Pack up those 5 new kids you took on and send them on their way. You’re not a partner, you’re a scapegoat and a pay packet.
1 Like