I just lost my husband to lung cancer a month ago. We only knew he was sick for about 3 weeks. We were able to talk about everything he wanted but in the end the decision was mine. He did not want calling hours as he didn’t want to put me and our children through it. It was something we all needed for our closure. He was cremated per his wishes and now is back home with us. My husband and his brother were at odds because of things that happened in the past. He sent flowers but did not attend the service. A few of his children came and were greeted with open arms. When all is said and done, you need to do what you can afford to honor your wife and be the support your children need. It’s never easy. My heart goes out to you and your family. Whatever decision you make, someone will be offend. Do what gives you and your children peace. Enjoy the last days together as a family. Be there for each other. 
Honestly my husband and I have had the discussion that we don’t want funeral. Noone comes and visits us really ever so we decided We just want to be cremated and then do a small BBQ for a celebration of our life. Hell if we want to pay 6 to 10 grand for ppl to cry over us who have no time for us alive.
Ask your wife her wishes…if money is tight yes cremation is cheaper…but no matter what your choice make sure your girls can say good-bye
You are doing the right thing and you are making the right decision for your family. We have estranged family members too. They are my kids uncle’s. They are totally out of the picture as they choose not to be involved whatsoever and guess what…they live in the same building as we do!!!..sometimes we get a hello when passing in the hallway and sometimes we get nothing. …my kids don’t even recognize them because they’ve never even come over. I’m sorry. I just wanted to let you know you are a wonderful soul and you are making the right decision for your wife and kids. God bless you and you family 
God give u and the kids added strength.
Stop thinking about after she is gone. Embr3the time you have.
If they don’t visit her now & help you, you think they’re gonna visit a grave site? Do what’s best for you & don’t worry about them. Do what you can afford. I’m sure she’d understand. Cremate her & then save for a plot & burry some ashes then… may as kids are older & understand more
Cremation is fine. That’s what I would want. Maybe you could suggest to them how they can help.
Do you have a church, have a service there after cremation with a nice picture next to her:pray:
Do what your wife wants, did she express her wishes for her end of life? I’d want to do what’s best for my family regarding finances with kids involved but I’d go the extra mile to make sure my partners last wishes were met.
Just 3 things
Pray
Pray
Pray
I’m prayin for you also. God bless you
I believe it is your choice . My friend lost his wife to illness at the age of 38, leaving 4 kids. He took them
On a road trip for about 3 weeks, camping etc. he said it helped alot
do what is best for your family but make sure she has a church ceremony.
Cremation is fine, you have a long and expensive road ahead raising your girls without their mom. I’m sure your wife would not want to leave you with additional financial burdens. A wooden urn with a picture is a lovely thought. Your daughters will always remember how much you honored their mom by sitting next to/taking care of her and kept them close as you did. Keep your head up, your doing the best you can and that’s all anyone can ask for.
Does your wife have an idea of what she would like? I personally do NOT want a casket. It is VERY expensive. Cremation is fine with me. She can also donate her body to science and then be cremated.
A funeral isn’t necessary! It’s in both my parents wills and mine that there be no funeral. Just straight from the morgue to the oven. No need to put that financial burden on the loved one we leave behind. They’ll be in enough pain without having to put on a show for others.
Has she tried RSO?? Google it RSO for cancer. You can also make suppository with it
Do what’s best for you and your children. If no one cared enough to help ya’ll don’t worry them.
Get video/voice recordings stuff like her reading books or songs for memories
It should be your wife wishes praying Asked her first
Do what’s best for you and your girls. Honestly a nice get together at home with the few loved ones that matter and a few words said would be lovely remembrance for your girls with a few flowers and service there at home … just a thought.
My suggestion is to find a urn that has a theme of something she and her girls enjoyed together. I did that for my father in law when he passed. Found an awesome hotrod urn. Had a special saying engraved on the front. Stay strong for your girls.
So very sorry your losing your wife to cancer. I believe it is your choice. it is very expensive for burial.Is there any other family members that can help you with the girls? I will pray for you.
Cremation and have each one of your daughters a necklace made with some of her ashes. I’m praying for you and your family.
I honestly don’t have any advice on her family but Please take lots and lots of photos right now, I know it will be so hard and you may not look at then for years but your kids will thank you and so will you I can promise that 
I’m so very sorry for what you’re going through, I hope that you are doing okay and remembering to also take care of yourself. Sending so much love your way 
Maybe ask the girls friends parents if they mind to take them out. Or hire someone to take them out if possible.
You do what you want…
Ask your wife what she wants. When my mother got sick with cancer and knew there was nothing that could be done, she PLANNED her entire funeral. She picked out what she was going to be buried in, where it would be, where she would be buried, she even knew what songs she wanted played. Ask your wife and you may be able to allievate the stress of what you’re worrying about because she will tell you what she wants.
My husband and myself already made our wishes known. We want no funeral, no burial, no services period. Cremation and that’s it. You can always have a small memorial gathering to celebrate her life at a later time. Maybe at a restaurant for example
Follow your heart do what’s best for you and your girls. Especially if her family haven’t stepped up to help . My heart goes out to you and the girls. I wouldn’t worry about her family they should have been there foryouall through this
You do what your wife would want and what’s best for you and your family. A big fancy funeral isn’t necessary. Ask your wife now how she wants it to go since it would be her life that’s being mourned/ Celebrated. The more she helps you plan now the less stressed you’ll be planning it once she’s gone. Sending love to you and your girls.
Cremation then maybe taking some of the ashes and making a necklace for each of your daughters so their mother can always be with them. It’s definitely what I would want losing a parent.
I lost my dad to cancer at 8 years old and the best thing that helped me cope was going to camps and therapy groups with my mom for children and families who lost a parent. Those helped me so much. Talking about the parent helps a lot too, reminiscing on the happy memories and being reminded my dad was pain free. Saying goodbye to him before he passed and telling him it was okay to go helped too.
I’m so sorry your family is about to go through this. Losing a parent and a partner is the hardest thing you can go through. Be strong for your children 
If your wife can still communicate you need to ask her what she wants and honor her wishes. Very important conversation to have.
Talk to your wife and see what she wants. My husband and I talked about what we wanted a lot. He wanted cremated and nothing fancy. He also talked about a Viking funeral. I did what he wanted. Nothing fancy and put in ground and have a stone by his two grandson’s who also passed away
Talk to your wife and children to know what they want. Don’t try to go big if you can’t afford it thought.
Since you’re the only one doing this, YOU do what YOU have to to heal, grieve and go forward with your family. If that means an small intimate ceremony in which she is cremated then so be it. In fact, there are a lot of companies that don’t charge a lot to take just a little ashes and make them into jewelry so everyone can have a little keep sake. I’m sorry you’re family is going through this and Ill keep y’all in my thoughts
This post hurts my heart so badly for you. I have a 6 year old and one on the way. When I read your post I instantly thought of my kids.
I agree with almost everyone on here. Take tons and tons of pics and record videos. Cremate her and make the girls a necklace or bracelet with some of her ashes and put the rest in a urn.
I am praying for all of you. I am so very sorry for what you all are going threw 
To everyone saying “talk to your wife”
- It’s possibly not even something she can even do or handle
- Can you imagine how hard that would be? “Hey since you’re going to die, should I cremate you?” That’s not something she should have to talk about in her last days.
Do what you want. Cremations ceremonies can still be beautiful and I love the things you can do with the ashes as a keepsake
Good luck to your family and I’m so sorry
Do what you want. She’s your wife. If you do go this route they have people that make jewelry and other memorial things with ashes. It may be something your daughters and yourself may enjoy having so y’all can always carry her with y’all. Download the Etsy app and look into it
It’s not about what others want. It’s what you want for you and the girls. And what your wife would want. Especially if others haven’t helped out, they def get no vote!! Also do not spend a ton of money. You can get urns and necklaces on Amazon. It will save you a bunch of money. That’s what I did with my husband. You do what works for you!
I’m so sorry 4 the soon loss I hope u get the strength and support u need in this time. Prayers 4 u and the family. Talk 2 them and ask 4 the help if they still refuse 2 help then just do ur best. It’s hard enough 2 lose a loved one without beating urself up about having a funeral. See what ur wife wants and go from there. They have payment plans and a viewing with cremation is usually cheaper than a hole funeral is. Spend the last few days with her in good spirits worry about her being gone when shes gone. I’m sure the last thing anyone wants is 2 be reminded they dont have left 2 go.
Do what you think is best for you and your family. Funerals have gone over the top, cost wise, and the money saved will go a long way to feed your kids. Me, I am insisting on cremation for me because I don’t want my family to bear the cost of a funeral.
I dont want to judge…dont know your situation. If she’s your wife and you love her why are you spending her last few days thinking of how to dispose of her body the cheapest way. Hold her hand, talk about your girls and how loved she is. When she dies a funeral home won’t expect an instant decision…you can think about whose paying what then…
There is End of life care through your nursing agencies in your area that should be able to walk you through her last days reach out if you have not already they will help you through the steps with her
God Bless you and your family through this tough time
Maybe you need to ask for some help. The rest of the family may feel like they are imposing on whatever time you and your wife have left. After you wife passes, you do anything that will be good for your children and yourself. So sorry that your family is going thru this.
I was in your shoes almost 3 years ago when my dad died he was creamated as he wanted his brothers and sisters was there for service but before and after hardly never and more since he passed they won’t talk to me because I refuse to take ashes to cemetery where his mother and father and other family is buried
If you haven’t already, please reach out to Tricia’s troops. Tricia’s Troops Cancer Connection helped us so much when my husband was going through Chemo for colon cancer. My heart goes out to you and your family! 
http://www.triciastroops.org
Her spirit will always be with you. Earth to Earth. Dust to Dust. Holy Spirit is ALWAYS there. Peace man
I told my fiance to fired my butt I have no family in my state so I told him that I wanted to be in the ocean he don’t have to leave him with decession to bury or cream it me
Ive thought about this. And i expressed to my husband how no one ever bothers to be part of us for birthdays/special occasions. So, he and i have agreed to get cremated and get ashes to make a jewelry piece for our children.
I think its whatever makes you feel comfortable. You are the spouse. They should respect whatever decision you make.
Do what you want! Cremate her if those are your wishes. At the moment, enjoy her as much as possible with your girls. Video tape her talking to the girls, take pictures, those are the memories you will have forever. If those brothers have never cared, don’t take any input from them.
First off, I am so sorry to hear your wife is sick and that you guys are even in this position right now. It is so sad and so horrible. Secondly, it is easy to be mad at those around us when we are grieving or about to grieve the loss of a loved one. You have to remember that her brothers are also going to lose her and they are trying to cope with it the best they can as well. Maybe they have distanced themselves because it hurts to much to come see her or pick up your kids. I know you are scared and know that you are going to need a lot of love and support once she isn’t here anymore and that causes anger as well. I would suggest asking your wife what she wants done with her remains and make the best of what you have. My dad passed 2 years ago and wanted to be buried and for my mom to have a big service for him but he passed away unexpectedly and she didn’t have the money for that so she had him cremated and he sits on a mantle with his picture next to it in her room where she can see him every day still. Losing a partner is a pain nobody understands until they lose theirs. Your family is in my thoughts and I’m sending lots of love your way! 
I’m so sorry what your going threw. I would ask her what she wants, I know it would be hard but I’d still wanna know if it was me, but you do what you gotta do! In my thoughts and prayers!
Sorry do what you think is best for you and your girls.
Get hospice care when the time is right. They will be a huge blessing!
Do the cremation and have a nice funeral with family and loved ones by the beach with your wife ashes! Remember that Covid has hit very hard and this may be a good thing to play it down a little! Use the money that you would had for a funeral to pay some bills! Your girls deserve a burial but I think that spreading her ashes in an ocean would give them a sense of joy to know that their mothers resting place is an ocean! Which you can visit as a family and have a Picnic every year! Not costly but definitely a memorable experience!
what does she want, it’s not about you !!
I’m so sorry that you and your little girls are losing the most important person in the world. You must have the important talks with her, as I’m sure you have had about her final wishes and future wishes for your girls, and know that she doesn’t need your frustration as she’s losing her battle. All she needs is peace, love and to know that her babies will be okay and have a happy home long after she’s gone… Her brothers are cowards and I’m sorry to say that but cancer and death change people, sometimes in not such flattering ways. Its probably not personal, or because they don’t love their sister or nieces or want to help you, it’s because they are scared. Do what you need to for your family. My advice for right now is don’t worry about the money spent after she’s gone, love her now! Invite her loved ones over now if she is up for visits, so that they may say goodbye. God bless your family. I pray for peace for you all.
So very sorry for your wife, you and your little girls…my mother died a tragic death from cancer…gone in 6 weeks after diagnosis…my father fought the battle as well, but he had a lot more time…it’s disappointing that her brothers aren’t helping…try not to let it hurt, even though it does…i’ve been where you are …!..spend quiet time with your wife, let your girls stay close to her, and talk with your wife about what she would like…all of you are in my prayers…you are in some of the darkest days you will likely ever be in your lifetime, but know that God is near and it will be okay…
You can have her fingerprint done and put it in a necklace for the girls. Also some of her ashes can ce incorporated into beautiful glass art pieces
Have you talked to them? Have you asked for help? Have you told them specifically what you need? You should.
Ask what she wants (if she can tell you) & ask for their help to fulfill their sister’s last wish if they are able.
Put her ashes in necklaces for your daughter’s. Ask your wife places she would of wanted to go. You and your daughter’s can plan trips to scatter her ashes little by little.
I’m very sorry for what your family is going through. My step mom died in 2019 from stage 4 cancer and 1 year later my dad passed away. They were both cremated and we had celebration of life for them. For my dads we did a big fireworks show since he loved that and we all sat around the fire telling stories about him. It was a very nice way to day goodbye. It didn’t cost much and in my opinion it was a lot more meaningful than just a funeral on a time crunch. I was also able to plan it a month after his passing which gave me some time to grieve and plan the best celebration I could. We made picture boards and had his ashes there. We played all his favorite music and just had a nice time in his honor.
My thoughts and prayers are with you guys
I just want to commend how brave and strong you are to face something so heartbreaking with so much resolve. 
She is not dead why not start praying for her to recover tjan praying for death
Cremate her and keep her ashes
I’m sorry you’re going through this. It is a such a painful time for the whole family to watch a loved one going through this.
If you’ve talked to your wife about what she wants. You should try to do her wishes but if you can’t, I’m sure she would understand. Especially if you can’t afford it and have no help with expenses.
I told my husband when I go, he can do what he pleases as long as he could afford it. I told him, even if he wants, he can send my body to science or whatever. I don’t care. Even if he does or doesn’t want to have a viewing. I don’t care. I know he’ll do what’s best for him at that time. So yes, it is about him and not about me.
Look, it cost a lot of money to have a full funeral service or even a small service. I know because we paid for both of his parents without help from family.
I just don’t want to put that kind of financial burden on my husband and family. Insurance or not. To me, he could use that money for something else. But that’s my opinion
Meron ako kapitbahay ganyan sakit…60 plus na age stage 4, pero buhay pa hanggang ngayon…di niya kinakain mga bawal sa kanya…at mahigpit na nagdarasal xa…mga 3 years na ata nakalipas mula nalaman na colon cancer xa
My mom passed away of stage four colon cancer one year ago, she was 47 yearsold, she was diagnosed and seven months later died, it was the most heart wrenching, dehumanizing, painful thing to watch, but I gave her all my love, I did everything I could to take care of my mommy. She was my best friend.
I will pray for you and your family, god is waiting for your beautiful wife, and she will be watching you be the wonderful father you are.
do what is right for you and your girls and dont worry about her brothers for they dont seem to care about you or your family so do whats right for you
I’m so sorry. I had my mother cremated for the same reason’s and she is in an urn in my living room. Take one day at a time, that is the only way to get through this. Forget about your relatives, you don’t need negativity. A lot of times friends are closer than relatives. God bless you and your girls.
I think if possible at all go by her wishes! Certainly not the family that does nothing to help… So sorry for what you all are going thru.
We have asked my daughter to cremate us. She is fine with this. She has spent a lifetime watching us visit graves of loved ones. We do not want her to do this for us. She wants beautiful urns for both her Father and I to keep with her always.
Cremation then have a small celebration of life to honor her and for your daughters to be able to say goodbye. It doesnt have to be over the top expensive. They can help plan it and it will be more special to them, since they were a part of it.
Went through the same thing with my husband. Didn’t get any help with him while sick and when asked to help it was like I was asking them to commit murder. When it came time for the funeral expenses the only thing his family helped with was the obit being put in the paper I took care of everything else. Had him cremated and took my time on his burial and everything else. So do what you want and take your time with everything.
Do what is best for you and your children! Your wife has been sick for awhile if that were my family(sister) I would be there to help out as much as I could and spend some time with her. I personally told my husband I want to be cremanted and I do not want a furneral service. I would prefer my family to make peace and say their good byes before I pass.
After years of battling very painful cancer my sister passed away. I was thankful that I went to her home everyday for 4 months and helped take care of her since she could no longer walk. You need to do what is best for you . No one should come in at the end and tell you what to do. Explain what is happening to the girls and share your plans and include them. They will need closure and love. Many prayers God healing ffg or all of you!!
Do what you want… do not stress over after the fact. Or consider anyone’s feelings/opinions that are not dealing with / helping you. Take each moment as it is and enjoy what is at the time. Prayers and blessings to your family
I’m so sorry. I would first ask your wife what she wants. As for the brothers… what you would do to help others and what others actually do are two different things. Let it go, don’t ask for help with expenses as they will say it’s not their responsibility… and they are right, it’s not. And it’s also not their place to tell you what to do either. Some funeral homes will sit you up on a payment plan. You could donate her body for science… many places will cremate for you and return the ashes for free. Then a small celebration of life dinner in her honor. As for your girls, I would focus on them, they will be hurting for a very long time. I would put some of her ashes into a glass heart they can make. Very beautiful and a keepsake for them.
Dont worry about others. Just focus on your family and helping you kids and wife. A funeral is honestly for the living. A small intimate ceramony isnt a bad thing. Let go of resentment of family. Its time wasted. Id talk to funeral home. Find what fits your price and what wife would like. Ive seen ppl do go fund me for such. Praying for your family
We had to cremate my Daddy when he passed away because funerals are expensive and he had no insurance. He deserved the best most expensive funeral anyone could have. He would definitely NOT want anyone to burden themselves to pay for it. In the end, he was “gone” and so I doubt it mattered to him either way. I had some of his ashes made into a “spirit orb” that sits on my mantel. They make really beautiful orbs that contain the ashes. He was always a Harley man, so I had his made in the Harley colors, and it is beautiful. I think he would love it.
If you can maybe have her put in two urns. When it’s time for her to be passed on to your munchkins they can both have her.
You do for you an your family. Don’t worry about the brothers. If you’re living in a permanent house (meaning not renting) consider looking into Tree Urn which is biodegradable. Her ashes are put into a biodegradable urn that also encapsules a young tree that is native to your area. You can plant it in the yard and she continues to live on. They are relatively inexpensive.
I’m so sorry to hear about your wife. She will be in my prayers as well as you and your girls. As for what to do regarding arrangements, that’s up to you. You have to do what’s right for your family. No one else matters. This is going to be a very emotional time for you and especially your girls added stress is not needed. It’s obvious you love her very much so you do what’s best for you and your girls. No one else has a say. May God bless you and your girls.
You can worry about expenses and people not supporting you later. Take this little time you have with your wife to tell her how much you love her and make it as comfortable as possible for her.
You never get these precious moments back. Savor every minute. Everything else can wait.
I’m sorry to hear about your wife and family. My advice is, do what her desires are. Include your daughters as well. My family is united in prayer for your family.
I have cancer - I want to Cremated - this ashes put in glass and give to my children -
I have everything detail work out - my dad passed when I was 18. The decision were over whelming -
A memorial at our home. Careless who comes - this hardest part -
Them picking up finding a new normal -"
I will be creammated. And planted under what ever my kids choose. I said Lilac bush. But really it is there choise.
What does she want. These days people are into way less. If cremation is her wish then do that and have a home visitation so the girls can have some form of remembrance and support from friends and family.
I wouldn’t ask her brothers for anything. Either way, they may not be offering to take them for a day/night because they may feel like the children need/want every second they have left to be by their mothers side. You can still have her a nice memorial service even on a budget.
I can’t imagine the stress and pain that you must feel. Sending Prayers for you and your family
I am being cremated with no services. I don’t want my kids coming to a grave. Spend your days with your wife and do whatever you want as far as funeral arrangements go. Her brothers aren’t helping now so they shouldn’t have say about what you do. Prayers for your family.
Make the decision your wife would want you to make. She doesn’t want your riddled with debt in her final days cancer treatment is expensive enough.
First of all, I just want to say I’m praying for your entire family!! I am currently battling cancer a second time around and it is stage 4 now. My husband and kids have almost lost me several times now. I need to make my wishes known, but I’m too scared to say them or write them down because I feel like that’s admitting defeat and I’m fighting this until I can’t anymore!! I’m with several others, focus on making these last days with her snd your two little girls. Don’t worry about family and do what is best for you and your two girls. May God Bless you all!
I took care of my husband for two years while he battled the same thing!! All that really matters is what she wants!! Ask her what she wants and follow her wishes!! I think it made things a lot easier!! I gave my husband exactly what he wanted! He wanted to be cremated but he wanted to be shown for one day so that’s what I did! It was a lot less costly than I expected it to be! You and her should be discussing this privately, NOT on fb!!
First off, I feel for your wife, you and your girls. Those last days are very hard… the waiting. As for a funeral or cremation, ceremony, You decide what’s best for you the 3 of you… you need closure but then the grief process continues. You are already grieving now…
Try not to be bitter. Just do what you think is right. Prayers for all of you.
My husband passed away very unexpectedly. I had him cremated and I’m not sorry I did. I moved across the country to be with our children and have him with me. If I did not do this, I would not be able to visit his grave.
Talk to your wife and ask her, I know it’s a hard conversation to have. Just keep doing what you are doing. Sending bunches of hugs to you and your kids!
Just enjoy the time you have left with her. Make it all…. About her and right now. There’s time to make decisions when the the time comes. I lost my husband years ago to Colon Cancer also. Hang in there……
So sorry to hear about your wife, please spend her last days remembering all the special times together, do not focus on family that just simply aren’t there, do what you feel is right, my late mum, brother and my babies were all cremated, we have a memory wall for my late brother and a special table for my mum, the babies is very hard to discuss. Try let your daughter’s help plan their mom’s service, it’s not about the cost or size of the service, it’s having those special bonds and memories that count. You and your family are in our prayers.