She’s wants to spend time with her daughter so maybe read a book until she’s done.
My goodness, he is asking for ADVICE and some of these comments are just plain nasty. A consistent bedtime schedule is important for children, school aged or not. Communicate with her. That’s the best advice I can give.
Sounds like the problem isn’t the daughter staying up late to visit with her mother; it’s you not getting sexy time. Kids grow quickly. You sound selfish.
Maybe she just rather spend time with her daughter than to be a cum dump to you 
So the very first sentence sums it all up! You’re together that’s not HER daughter! It’s Y’all’s daughter!!
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If this was a woman speaking you would ALL be having a Different opinion….
Kids do best with structure! A normal bedtime is part of that! I bet she is up all night at dads because of this too! Have you thought of getting her to bed before mom gets home, so you can have some time together?
Sounds like this isn’t an issue every night because you guys don’t have her 24/7 right? Let them spend the time together. You have every other night with your wife, alone. Let her spend the time she can with her daughter, any way she wishes. I wouldn’t try to interfere.
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I understand needing a routine, but if you’re ONLY reasoning and concern is your step daughter being in the way of Your sex life, I think it’s time you really reevaluate your own personal battles. Let her spend time with her kid, seriously.
Wow smh when with Mom and Step dad there should be guidelines. Still his child being married to her … When at moms shes NOT at dads… Mom needs to get child on a set routine period.
your situation is coparented …which in my mind means compromise …sit down and draw an agreement you should be allowed some influence and say esp if your married …
Yall would have such a different opinion if this poster was a woman.
A child needs routine and a bed time. Plain and simple. Late shift or not, your child should have a set bed time 
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So, when a woman makes a post, everyone supports her, but when a man makes a post, everyone seems to bash him? 
smh.
Idk when I was working my man would keep our son (my stepson/we have full custody) up late so I can get off work and spend time with our 3 year old before bed. I wouldn’t get home till 9/9:30 pm at the latest. Which meant our son stayed up till 10:30.
And this is with me spending most of the day with him 
I only worked 4 hours a night. But spending time with your child is so important. Especially in this case since mom doesn’t get to see her little girl as often as she wants I imagine
Lolll you want her to give up her time with her daughter so you can get laid. Grow up
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- it depends on how old the child is. If the child is a younger child (younger than 10) then the child should probably be in bed and asleep by 9 at the latest. My son is 12 and he goes to bed at 8:30 every night because that is what works for him and the amount of sleep he needs. If the child won’t going to bed until 11 or midnight and then getting up early for school the next morning at 6, the child isn’t getting an adequate or appropriate amount of sleep no matter how old they are.
- what time does your wife’s swing shift end? If you wife’s shift gets over at 7 and she is home by 7:30, then she still has some time to spend with the daughter if the daughter isn’t in bed until 9. If the shift doesn’t end until 10 and she gets home at 10:30 then the child should already be in bed and asleep when she gets home.
- sit down and have a conversation with your wife and let her know how this is affecting the relationship from your standpoint. If that doesn’t work, then you have some choices to make.
I work nights delivering truck loads of newspapers. I was in Daytona the other night @200 -AM. I was trying to back into the loading dock and saw two kids running around playing. Literally no more than 5 years old. I understand that their parents work nights as newspaper carriers, but Jeez find a baby sitter. Thankfully their father grabbed them
I feel like in order to properly answer this we need to know how old the child is, what is the routine at her other household like?
But really whining about your interrupted sex life on a public platform because your wife is not raising her child in a manner that meets your needs is actually kind of childish………why not stay up a bit yourself and join your family in whatever they are doing past your bedtime, or just go to bed if your too tired to stay up and have sex the next week when you don’t have your daughter (yes I said your daughter, because you chose to marry her mother which makes you her stepfather and which also means you need to show the child the same consideration, love and kindness you would show if she was biologically yours).
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Typical selfish male.
I’d rather hang out with my child than force them to sleep so I can get nookie. Try hanging out with them instead.
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Your wife sees her daughter bi-weekly and you can’t make the sacrifice for HER so she and her daughter can spend the maximum amount of time together?? Because it’s affecting your sex life?!? Wow.
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Any child should be on a schedule it’s healthy. She get her two weeks a month she should be on a schedule anyway from home . I understand she wants her to be happy but if it’s upsetting the home to me it should be a meeting between both households and set or see schedule times for bed are the same. On the weekend no big deal .no schedule. People say it’s her child but also he is the husband .no matter whose child adults rules not the children. Who knows next she may think she can start coming in when she wants as she gets older. It’s call discipline
All these women that are being Rude … smh 
Attitudes like that are the reason some men/women won’t date people with kids.
ITs called CO-Parenting …
as long as there is no abuse and there is respect… WE a FAMILY NOW… everyone opinion counts….
.
You are absolutely right kids should need boundaries and schedules. Doesn’t matter if she gets her bi weekly kids still need limits. No wonder she don’t have her full time. I would tell her either yall work to togther as a married couple and get a good schedule for her or your gone . You don’t just stop dating your spouse just because you have a child so don’t worry about the haters. Your feelings are valid just talk to your wife
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How old is said child?
It’s problematic for your sex life 
how selfish.
As long as at the end of it all her daughter is getting enough sleep and it isn’t causing issues when she isn’t with you I don’t really see a problem. It’s her daughter and she wants to spend time with her. Is it really that big of a problem that on those weeks you can’t have sex when you wan? And people have different shifts and things so going to bed alone happens.
I think it honestly comes down to how late the child is staying up and also her age. I don’t think he’s being selfish or needy, I’ve been in a similar situation. I used to work 10p-3a and my sons sleep schedule was a nightmare. It wasn’t just hard on me and my SO but everyone in the house
Honestly yall are so hateful to him. He has an issue and came on here asking for advice not everyone to b**** at him 
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I have shared parenting with my ex. 50/50. I still have my son go to bed at a reasonable hour even if it means I didn’t get to spend much time with him. A regular sleep schedule is essential for children to grow and be healthy. I guess the question is, what time is mom letting the child stay up til? Is the child in school? Either way, in the summer my kids still go to bed by 11. Just have a chat with her and make sure it’s about the child’s health and well being and not just about your needs. The child is what is important here
I thought you were concerned that the child wasn’t getting enough sleep, not bc you’re not getting laid. Really sad to read honestly.
Suck it up Man… could be worse. you could be like so many, Just a sperm donor and a child support payment
Advice? Lort I think I’ll stay out of this one so I don’t get banned, glad many other women put you in your place. Selfish af.
No, definitely not healthy! My husband is on night shift. Our girls are 9 and 6 they are in school now but we’ve always had them in a decent schedule younger we’d let them stay up till 10-10:30… now they are in school it’s 8:45-9 the latest. Even though husband is on nightshift we still don’t allow the children to come in between our sex life… it’s a important part of a healthy loving relationship. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant lol… we do allow the girls to have free weekend when they can stay up till 11 or so… (most of the time they don’t because they have a healthy school sleep routine established). But If she doesn’t get a handle on this now then you will have a hard time when it comes to school for the little one.
Look up how to nacho parent
Yikes. Look at all these angry women giving advice based on ego.
Put your step daughter to bed. If your wife has a problem then let her know how you feel. Children need structure and a routine. The child should have a set bedtime EVEN IF MOM GETS HER BIWEEKLY.
It’s her daughter if she wants to spend time with her and that makes you insecure then it’s you with the issue that needs to be solved
you say her daughter maybe if you thought of her as our daughter for one thing. and swing shift is very hard on a person try it sometime. who gets up with her if she crys in the middle of the night?
I’m going to comment in your favour.
I 110% agree that a child should not be staying up all hours of the night.
I understand her time is limited with her but a child doesn’t need to be up til 11/12 at night.
A decent sleep and routine schedule would make her daughter’s time that much more exciting if she isn’t tired or sleeping.
And to those saying he’s upset bc he isn’t getting laid… You’re all ridiculous… He means in general it is putting a strain on their relationship, time together and sexual connection.
If it were me, I’d just say I think she should be going to bed a bit earlier this way she isn’t as tired and we can spend more time during the day with her doing activities and we still have our time as well to reconnect.
I feel there should be a balance.
Thank you for asking us though
i can see why she lets her stay up late, she misses her and wants to spend time with her. Just a few questions:What time is she putting her to bed? How old is your step-daughter? Does she go to school on your wife’s week of having her and is it hard on her to get up?
It sound like your wife just wants to spend time with her daughter especially because she doesn’t live with y’all full time. Working a swing swift can be hard since the schedule is changing.
Your frustration is valid but try to put yourself in her shoes. She misses her child who stays with y’all biweekly where as you and your wife live together full time. When she gets off work on the time she has her daughter she’s thinking about spending time with her not sleep or sex.
I think it depends on the child’s age. If it’s a young child then they need a decent bedtime. If it’s an older kid then I’d do that same as her, I’d want to spend every second possible with my kid.
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The child needs a consistent bed time and to go to bed at a decent hour because she’s a child and needs her rest. Having her body have to shift sleeping patterns every 2 weeks isn’t healthy. Perhaps explaining that to her will help. The fact that you’re concerned about your sex life and not what’s best for the child says selfish and you should check yourself on that.
You’re being selfish. If you cared because the daughter needs more sleep it would be different. If you can’t go a week without sex, and think you are owed it then get over yourself.
Honestly, if you want “insite” on what women think, put yourself in her shoes, if you have children I’m sure you’d want to see them every chance you got, if not think about how she feels not being able to see her baby all but biweekly. I’d be soaking up all the time I have! I could understand it being a concern for the child if you didn’t include your “alone time”. Just my Personal opinion! Good luck.
A child needs a reasonable bed time. Depending on her age she should be going to sleep between 7:00 pm and 9:00 pm. Inorder for children to grow they need at least 10 hours of sleep a night.
Concerned about yourself much??? Better learn or should have learned before marrying a woman with a child. To a mother a child will ALWAYS come first in her life. Grow up.
For a minute I thought you were actually thinking about the best interest of the child, depending on child age and how late it actually is there is some merit to promoting healthy sleeping habits. Then, I realized you were only concerned about your sex life…
Yikes dude. Please reevaluate your priorities, your wife has hers right.
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It’s always about sex with men now days. That’s the real issue you have with this. Is your not getting “you time”.
Your not gonna die, it’s every other week.
depending on the kids age, and moms work schedule, would determine the bedtime for my kids.
Used to lay my youngest down at 10pm because she sleeps longer/better laying down at 10, verses earlier bedtime.
If mom’s working late, so dosent have alot of time before or after work. I’m sure she’s wanting to spend time with her child, and make sure she is able to get enough sleep herself.
I think this is pretty selfish. You see her as just the step daughter. I don’t think I’ve heard my husband, use step daughter twice in one statement. That’s his daughter, there’s no step.
She doesn’t have her kid all the time please let her enjoy the time she does have her your sex life can wait till the kid is gone to her dad sex that’s what it seems it boils down to sorry but I feel for your wife she just spending time with her kid and you upset you ain’t getting cuddles oh you poor boy stop acting like a child and let that woman spend time with her child she doesn’t have all the time
I understand!!
How old is the child? If they are young then they DEFINITELY need to have a decent bed time. Parenting and maintaining a marriage/relationship is a balancing act. It’s probably incredibly frustrating to have one week with more interaction and sex with one another and then feeling neglected the next week. Try talking to her about it and have open communication with one another
I’m disappointed to see so many women on here telling the step father that it’s none of his business. When they married, he took that child in as his own. So as far as I’m concerned that’s his kid too. Swing shift is generally til about midnight so I do think maybe you should be setting up a routine with the child and making sure she gets to sleep before mom gets home? Idk the whole situation but sex life will obviously always be affected when kids come into play. That’s almost the first thing out the window; it sucks bad sometimes too but we make sacrifices for our kids where we can.
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Her Child should always be taken care of before her sex life regardless of who it’s with as a step parent you stepped into the role knowing she had kids that she would need to put above you …if you don’t like it walk the fuck away and let them be…
At what time exactly is she putting her to bed?
Explain to her that her daughters body is attempting to regulate the melatonin it produces and letting her stay up like that every other week isn’t good for her and her health
Does your wife feel like she’s missing time with her daughter? Kids are only young once. I used to let my little one stay up later because we enjoyed our time together and were away from each other all day. Now he’s in school and I miss him bc he has to go to bed early and be up early and out. I think you’ll be okay for a week.
No always as you are the step papa but when you can and want to spent sexy time with your wife , go outside and without saying anything about your intentions (get the kid tired ) the kid (not your girl) and give it some time … don’t expect any sex right away … be a little extra sweet offer her something you know she would enjoy (wife) … and low key make your own routine it’s not all up to her if she won’t force a bedtime you as a now fun dad who likes to play and get kids tired in order to have alone time can try a few things
You sound like someone I was with before. You needed all the time your wife has or it just isn’t good enough.
Now if he was coming home and not spending his time with his wife it would be a problem right?
When I worked grave yard and swing shift my kids were on my schedule. Until they started school. My 2 youngest do not have a bedtime 7 and 11. They go to bed when they are tired my son about 7pm my daughter sometimes 10
Not a lot of info to really gage the situation. Everyone keeps saying mom just wants to hang out with her daughter but they could both be staying up late separately. Are you still sleeping alone even when y’all daughter is at her dads?? I think if your daughter is a teen & as long as she is being responsible with getting up on time & good grades at school then I’d let it slide. As for the intimacy, women’s sex drives can change throughout their life. Hormone balance plays a huge role in our sexual drives. If her sex drive is low to non-existent that doesn’t mean anything is necessarily wrong either. Talk to her about your need for physical attention. I’m happy to see a man asking for advice!! Welcome to the group!!!
How old is her daughter? Is she in school? If he’s so concerned about her health he shouldn’t have said how it messes with their sex life when they have her. I think he can survive every other week!
If it’s all about you having sex… then your a shallow person
I would suggest individual, marital and family counseling.
This is only the beginning.
You do not say how old the child is but, believe me, if you do not get a handle on this issue now, you will regret it.
Your marriage and you will forever be second place.
Get into counseling asap.
I wish you well.
Oooh you have to sleep alone…stop being a baby
I think this has nothing to do with him getting laid and everything to do with a girl having a decent bedtime! Children need bedtimes and boundaries. If I were in your situation I would approach the conversation on just the bedtime situation and not the one on one time you are lacking. That way she doesn’t turn this on you. At the end of the day the kid needs a realistic bedtime for a number of reasons.
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Honestly if you’re on good terms with her biological father next drop off/pick up casually ask what time she normally goes to bed at his house and remind your wife gently of that time when she’s with you
There needs to be a balance time with her daughter and time with you you are as important as her daughter you should talk to her
What’s your idea of a decent bedtime?? Some people think a good bedtime for a young child is 7pm while others think 10pm is fine… your wife’s priorities seem to be work and spending time with her child while your priorities seem to be sex, which is totally typical. 
Children need regular routine.an 10 hours of sleep
I would say have a serious talk with her, be sure to voice your feelings as well as values. If she doesn’t validate your feelings and your values do not match, you need to think seriously about the relationship.
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You should check out the “NACHO kids” page.
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Set boundaries. Make a chart on the wall give her something to look forward to if she follows rules see can see what on the chart for that day.make it exciting so she be exciting to go to bed and wake come see what on her chart…
Comments here are crazy and I think the fact that the post is from a man has everything to do with it.
So, most of you side with the mom just because she has her daughter biweekly, but that should not matter , allowing a kid to stay up very late it’s not healthy, what quality time they are having exactly?
Don’t listen to these moms that are saying she just wants to spend time with her daughter and you’re being selfish. It is not selfish to want to spend time and be intimate with your significant other. She and you could easily have a conversation to find a balance between time with her daughter and time with you her significant other. If it’s just weekends maybe one night for you and one night for her daughter. If it is a whole week, split the week up and spend Wednesday together as a family. Compromise is very important as a blended family. 9pm is the latest a child under 13 should be going to bed, but if she works later than maybe she can pick a day or 2 to let her daughter stay up with her. My step daughter goes to bed between 8pm and 9pm regardless as to if her dad is available for a tuck in or not. Sleep is important for a child. My Step daughter is almost 9 years old and has gotten very drowsy at school due to lack of sleep and staying up later. Please message me anytime…honestly I could use another step parents opinion occasionally because this role is hard to fill and is exhausting.
A young child should have 8 hours a sleep. Poor sleeping habits can effect the child’s physical and mental well-being. I’m hoping that this child has a more structured routine when she’s with the other parent on the off weeks
So the mom wants to spend a few hrs with her child who she doesn’t get to see all day long bcuz she’s at work, her child who she has to miss time out on anyway while they’re with their father, and of course the man is only concerned with gettin laid?? Bcuz he has to miss out on a couple of days. Sounds about right.
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She’s only getting her daughter bi- weekly and probably wants to spend as much time with her as possible. You sound quite selfish making this about sex for you. You will survive…
Kids need sleep 
and parents need their time. I had this same situation with my daughters dad. They would stay up late. It was not fun I feel your pain. I hope things get better for you.
I was actually going thur the something with my man but I finally made it clear to him they have to have rules and a bedtime when his kids come over … I was so miserable when his kids came over cause he allowed them to do whatever they wanted and the mess they left my house
I feel like yall are stuck on the wrong problem why is your kid up at all hours of the night . I feel like yall are shitting on him strictly because he’s a dude asking for advice
Depends on age. I have a funky schedule so I let my 4 year old stay up with me sometimes because I miss her. As long as she’s getting plenty of sleep it shouldn’t matter.
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It’s just a stage . This to shall pass
WIFE wont put HER daughter to bed early enough. May as well pack your things buddy.
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Child needs a decent bed time but I can see how she’d want as much time with her as possible. It’s hard! But yes children need a solid bed time routine. Her and the other parent should have a set schedule they both stick to in my opinion
Krystal Lowery They only get her bi-weekly…they should have their time on the other weeks…
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How old? Personally I think kids need structure and routine, if they aren’t sleeping properly it can cause a lot of issues. You both also need your own time that kids are asleep and you can relax.
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I applaud you for coming out to ask this. And these women are hating on you bc you are trying to spend time with your wife too. You’re sweet.
This post is disgraceful.
Totally get it. My only advice is choose your words. Often times my husband will say something and what he says and what I hear aren’t always the same. So choose your words, be kind, speak your truth.
It’s important child has a decent time to go to bed for health reason., to teach her to get up at a reasonable time, plus the can have time later. The step dad should be worried about this., not what he missing out on
I see where you’re coming from, but the weeks you don’t have your daughter you can have sexual intercourse, schedule it out so it doesn’t interfere with your wife’s time with her daughter.
OK…I worked construction shutdowns when my children were small…still do…but I was a single parent. After working 12, 14, 16, hour days seven days a week, for 2, 4, 6 weeks to several months…when I was off…my kids stayed up late and on a few occasions missed a day of school so I could see and spend time with them. If the only problem he has with her is her letting her daughter stay up when she can see her is that he doesn’t get laid…well…he has a hand. Don’t know what else to tell him. Be grateful she works, and he evidently has extra time with her when the daughter isn’t there…when the daughter isn’t there does he do a date night? Spoil his wife at all? Maybe he should ask himself if he should try a little harder so his wife would have more time with her daughter and she might be more appreciative than him complaining about bedtimes and not getting laid…
The amount of women on here just going in on this man is not fair it has taken guts for a father to post on a mamas page if the child is staying up crazy hours then going to her dad’s and having routine it’s gonna mess them up both physically and mentally fair enough a little longer wouldn’t do any harm but it’s putting the work of the other home out of zinc there’s two sides to every story give the guy a break
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Use the time the kiddo isn’t there for y’all’s sex life. Like wow. You’re saying it’s problematic because it effects your sex life ?
Is there anything else that makes it problematic?
As long as it’s not so late that it’s throwing off her schedule drastically(sleeping the morning away) or she’s unable to get up for school/daycare on time then definitely talk about some sort of compromise that maybe she only does it a few days a week. However, if it’s affecting any of that, that’s not healthy to be happening consistently which is probably making the transition back to dad’s hard. That it should just be on the days she doesn’t have something in the morning.
Kids need bedtimes and Stability. If he left out the part of getting laid most people wouldn’t be so mad. We have my step kids every other week and we still put the youngest to bed at 9.
The problem I see is that the child needs to go to bed at a decent hour. You folks are jumping on this acuz this is a man posting instead of a woman. He is correct, she needs a decent bedtime. A child can’t function correctly during the day ifn they don’t get enough sleep, it’s a scientific fact.
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I can totally sympathize with you. Adults still need bonding time after the child has gone to bed and child needs a relatively set schedule.
I guess we are just too hard wired to believe a child needs to go to bed at a certain time. If the child is able to function in the morning & doesn’t require early bedtime I don’t see an issue. The issue is the man is trying to have quality time with his wife . Sex life to be specific. You do need to talk to your wife about that. Maybe she will fit some time in for you. But no need to gripe about a child staying up late.