You’re totally in the right. My husband and I have been together 10 years and he knows that cheating is what would automatically end the relationship. I don’t care the who what and why, if he’s broken our marriage vows he’s going to lose his family. In our case, I have literally said that to him, not that I needed to because he values our faithfulness as much as I do, but this should be a thing that every person understands: that if I cheat, I have ended my relationship when my spouse finds out. Your husband KNEW that doing this would compromise his marriage. There is no excuse he can give you, no matter how much communication or wack promises he might try… He knew this was wrong. He knows who his wife is. He knows where he’s supposed to turn if he feels randy… And he chose a stranger. He made his choices. Toss his stuff out, change the locks, lawyer up. Also, if you don’t end the relationship… Are you prepared to always be paranoid about what’s on his phone? That’s no way to live.
There are lots of resources you can file for… and get… But as far as your heart feeling like it’s being ripped out… Well that’s a feeling and emotion that your just got to have to work through… your going to cry… hurt and be angry… Because let’s face it… You love him and he brought your world crashing down around you… Stay focused in the goal ahead … and work through those feeling slowly don’t throw your self in a spiral…yes it hard yes it hurts…but if he hurt you enough to make him stay gone… Then you will get to the point of moving forward … You do need to make sure you don’t want to at least attempt to work things out seeing this is the first time… But if you did that and it happens again shame in him… And make sure he never had the opportunity to do it again… I know it hurts I never knew until it happens to me you could physically feel heartbreak… best of luck working through this…
I’m sorry you are going through this. Something similar happened to me and I started babysitting so I could continue to stay home. It’s a option you might want to look into.
Right now you will feel like you can’t do it but truth is you definitely can!! You have done the right thing, concentrate on you and the kids, he should be helping with the kids and money too because they’re his kids as well. You will get there, it may take time but all will be OK in the end! Get your head up and don’t get yourself down over something HE has done!
Get child support. Do not know where you live or what your skill set is but I left after 20 years with literally nothing but a junker car and my clothing. You can do this. One day at a time. I ended up working for the Department of Corrections in my state. Was scary at first but I love my job and it has become a career for me. I worked hard and long but it took my mind off of everything. You will find your way. 
Pray about it. And please listen to your own heart. I pray tht God guides you to the answers you need rn and to comfort your heart. But whatever you do choose make sure at the end of the day your happy with your decision because even though rn it seems like everything is falling apart, God may be getting everything ready to fall into place. Also there’s lots of work from home companies tht only require you to have internet access and att gives you wifi for 10 dollars a month and the equipment free and the companies provide the computers. I’m not sure which one but idk if you have them but human resources helps with all sorts of things like helping find daycares, jobs and in some situations help single moms get a vehicle but it depends on the state . Again pray about everything I recently went through this same thing and I actually contemplated suicide when I finally hit my knees and cried out to God to just please take the hurt and give me peace over the whole situation, let me just say I haven’t cried tht hard in years. Not because of what my ex did but because I felt the peace tht God was offering this whole time but I was too blinded to see it. You are a strong Beautiful, smart, momma who has got this. Gods got you boo, trust in the lord.
I found out when my son was 5 weeks old. I left that day not knowing what I was going to do or where I was going to go. It’s hard but it can be done. Check home day cares. Care.com is a good start. If you see this feel free to message me.
Good Job! Make sure you get child support to help with the kids. Look into working AT a daycare or doing childcare at your home.
I dnt give legal advice but hear this …do not allow him to put his actions back on you with blame or where you may of “failed” him. It is his own heart and actions that caused the pain. Do not react to any anger,harsh words etc but do respond. Do not take him back until he is fully accountable and changes. Do not allow yourself to be blamed for his infidelities.
Divorce him. Get the help you need daycare ect. Its one step at a time.
I dont have any great advice, I have been in a similar situation tho. The heartache is the worst and in time it does get better. If you need financial help I would contact your local DTA Office to see what they can do to help. He Will need to pay child support and alimony I am sure so that will help also. Maybe look for a job that you can make your own hours or possibly work from home( alot more jobs are hiring at home workers now). Good luck mama…sending live amd prayers your way:two_hearts:
No advice but I wanted to say GOOD FOR YOU! So many women would put up and shut up but what you have done is so strong and you should be very proud of yourself! You got this mama
Get state help until you can find a job, they’ll also help you with child care and bills! You can also buy a divorce packet at Staples and do the filing yourself, but there’s a few papers missing from the packet you can find at the library. There’s also packets you can do online and then turn in to the courthouse and file through clerk of courts. Be honest about everything! Going back to work with kids and being on your own well be tough but it is possible to do! Take one day at a time and do things a step at a time. Don’t expect a lot of of yourself for these first few weeks because your world has been turned upside-down! The kids will adjust, it’ll take time. You can do it and you will get on track, it’ll take some time though! God bless you, hang in there and I’m sorry you have to deal with something like this 
Been there done that. Im SO sorry that you’re in this situation. First thing was to find less expensive housing. My two daughters and i shared a 1 bedroom apartment. Rent a room out in your house or exchange free rent for childcare. Reach out to other single moms in a similar situation with opposite work schedules to help eachother with childcare. Divorces take awhile. You can apply for child support even though you are still married through your local child support office. Do it ASAP. Seek counseling for yourself and kids. My daughters found ways to blame themselves for things that werent their fault. Hang in there, take it day by day, it will get better.
Im so sorry. That’s terrible. Theres nothing worse than when you find solid evidence your significant other is cheating. Especially when you have children together. Its like a double kick to the throat.
My advice is do whatever you have to do. Go to the courts immediately and file for divorce and support. Don’t put things off bc everyday counts. Keeping you in my prayers. Gods got you and your children. Trust in him.
Good for you girl! Stood your ground and left! Cheaters ain’t worth it! Be hard having kids with him but better being on your own and happy then unhappy and not treated right! Try cut back on the bills you couldn’t afford. Use less electricity. Less water if possible (if pay water) Less tv. Dryers big on electricity. Stove tops - I use the camping stove top ones and buy the bottles of gas. Way cheaper on electricity! And just use oven when baking or dinners that need to be done in it. Find a cheaper WiFi company. Car insurances etc x
I’m so sorry mamas, I went through the same thing recently! I will keep you in my prayers!
Let him come back so he can pay your bills and you can make his life hell every day until you’re stable enough to afford it all on your own, THEN kick him out for good
After what he did… I’d say your life is falling together…First of all… You WILL get through this. Those children are watching, so I pray you show them to stand up for themselves, to be strong and independent. There is all kinds of resources out there…First, go to Legal Aide and get an attorney…Then apply for Snap, Medicaid, Daycare Assistance, and anything else they have to offer until you get on your feet…Then look for a job. And find a positive support system to help you thru this major life change. Church, family, friends…someone in your corner you and the kids can depend on. You can do this girl…You will be happy again, I promise. Stay Strong… prayer’s.
Omg!!! I’m just so proud that you left him!!! You should be proud too!
Keep his ass out that house. You deserve better
Find a job. There’s tons these days! There’s assistance if you need it. That’s why it’s there! You did the right thing!
I did this as well. It will not be easy but you can do it. Mostly you have to stay strong and not let the kids see any breakdowns that will come. Next you possibly could locate a remote job right now. When I went through it there wasn’t remote jobs only scams. My first job was at a daycare so I could take kids with me they just were not in my area. If you have family or a close friend see if they could help out a day or 2 with watching them. And unfortunately “dad” has a right to see his kids so get a schedule and you can plan on work the day he has kids as well. It will work out!!!
Phone citizens advice. And woman’s aid. Am sure they’ll help you get on the right path …i wish you all the bestxNo one deserves thisxx
Single mom of 3 for 14 years. You can do it. Daycare.
Reach out to your local DSS, and any other supportive programs. There are a lot available to help you get on your feet. Don’t feel ashamed to do it, because that’s what they are there for.
Get a job in child care for now, this will allow you to take the kids with you to work, call social services and get help until you get child support, you should petition the court immediately for custody and child support hearings (you can do this without a lawyer). You can do this and you will.
Hugs and healing prayers for you and yours
You can rent out a room for extra income to college kids or another woman
Most daycares offer free or reduced care pricing for employees and some often bus children to school so that may be a good place to start
You can do this, you will become strong. Believe me I have done it x
Sounds like YOUR world is falling together 
Prayers and you got this
Stay strong my love x
Get help from the state, file for child support, and seek out therapy 
Get a roommate/au pair to pay a little and help with the kids and maybe house chores in exchange for discounted rent
Get child support and alimony. Keep the house. It’s the life you and the kids are accustomed to.
This group sucks. I’m out.
GOOD FOR YOU!
I’ve never been in this situation but I have been in scenarios that I didn’t think I could handle but I am confident of one thing, and you should be too
Mamas do WHAT EVER THEY HAVE TO DO
to make sure their children are taken care of
And you just did something not many women can do
Do you realize how many people post like you did and then ask
"What should I do?
It seems impossible right now because your heart is broken but flip that mama bear switch and just watch the miracles you will do.
Go to your local family services, apply for food stamps and child care. Also file for child support til you get back on your feet. My local family services also provides job interviews at the facility. Look into every option you can. Good luck hun I wish you and ur kiddos the best
It’s going to be ok. He needs to pay the bills still. You get a lawyer. He will have to support you for a few years, just get a lawyer or call legal aid in your area
I was there… 7 years ago. I started over …I relied on God and a lot of emotional support. You CAN do it I promise. Much love!
Good for you deserve better
Divorce he did not love you.
I could not tolerate dishonesty
I know my worth.
Cheater always a cheater.
You would not be happy.
So spare you a heartbreak even more than now.
Prayer
You’re entitled to his paycheck for the bills and day care… find daycare, and give him the bill.
You would likely qualify for a ton of different forms of assistance. Childcare credit being one of them. Apply for all of the assistance you can to begin with. You don’t have to do this with no help.
Apply for child support as well. Alimony, as well.
And I’m so proud of you. 
too many of these posts end with “but we’re trying to work it out” and it breaks my heart every time. You know your worth and that’s so rare. That alone tells me that you’ll be just fine. You’re not losing anything, you’re gaining something. You’ve cut the dead weight, let the trash take itself out, and now you and your babies can begin a real life together without all that heartache.
If you have a spare room get a roommate or someone that will exchange childcare for room and board so you can work outside the home. Please do a thorough check on references. You got this 
Good for you!!.. In the end, you will be OKAY… don’t take his ass back!!
Awww honey 
Snapchat is literally the worst for relationships 
thankfully you do have the house! Possibly look into getting child support, and there will be some sort of agency or something that will help you out, best of luck and good on you for kicking his ass out!!
There are resources. Go to your local social service agency.
211 in USA has local resources. Reach out to churches, contact local health and human services for resources. Join a group in your area online and start asking locals where to find help. Go apply for daycare and child support. Should be able to get food benefits. Anything helps
Go apply for assistance
There are lots of work from home remote jobs.
You can do grocery delivery or door dash.
Apply at the school district. That’s what I did.
Girl first off all I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I’m a SAHM mom to and honestly the way I’ve been getting by is legit through referrals. I know it’s not a long term thing but it’s been getting me by for over 2 years now plus I get to be at home with my kids. If you’d like me to send you some of my links I’m happy to!! I have some that pay instantly
You are Brave! You are capable!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My world is falling apart, I need advice!
I’m sure the hurt you must be feeling right now is overwhelming… What he did was very wrong…
I’m not saying that you should stay with him but I don’t think that you should be so quick to leave him, either…
I feel that too many couples are too quick to end things when one or the other makes a mistake or does something wrong in a marriage (like cheat)… Unless he treats you really bad otherwise, then him having an emotional affair can be worked through, if both parties are willing to… There’s a reason why he was talking to this other woman… Sometimes you can get to the bottom of “why” and correct it, so to speak…
If you’re dead set on leaving him though, then there are resources to help low-income families… Family/friends can also help with childcare…
Personally, I would stay in the home arrangement until you find a job and get your shit together. Think with your head. Yes you have every reason to be mad and kick him out but financially you going to ruin yourself. So unless you have other financial resources, stay until you do. Hold your head high. You will be fine but think smart. You are emotional and angry (which is ok but it isn’t going to pay the bills)
You get alimony in the divorce 
There is a lot of help out there for single mothers. I spent 11 years as a single mother, trust me, you will get through it. He will have to pay alimony and child support. And living with him until you get your life together is a HUGE mistake. Huge. I had a friend do that, and it was a shit show. Too many emotions, on both sides, and your kids will suffer the consequences. You’re too hurt to even try that. And you have every right to be hurt. I suggest therapy, and living on your own, to help you get through this.
First go find out what assistance you can get. Usually you can find help with daycare, food, and bills while you look for a job. It’s sounds like you’ve probably been a single mom before, since you said you had a child from a previous relationship. You did it once and you can do it again. There are a lot of jobs right now that will be willing to work around your schedule. You can do this
I have a job working as a cafeteria worker and a job working in dietary at a nursing home every other weekend I raise my two grandkids on my own and this has helped my to be able to do that. There are jobs that won’t make you a slave to the grind. Also check into working from home. The job market is plentiful right now. Its scary and hard but God will make a way. You just have to put in the effort to find your new path. Good luck with this transition.
Use your head and do what is best for you and yours. Don’t let your emotions put you in the poor house. Calm down and think it through. Maybe you can work things out at least for now and until you get a real plan together for your future and for the kids. Think smart.
All you need to know is time will make everything fall into place… definitely don’t mistake that as saying “easy” cause it wont be cause you are a single mom…kiss that word “easy” goodbye girl for real and don’t be sad about it or take me being mean in any way, cause hoping for “easy” or a “break” and being disappointed over that not happening anymore will only hold you back and keep you stressed, all you can do is embrace it and do your best, and you will accomplish it through hell and back if you have to and your fears will soon disappear… remind yourself everyday something I started telling my 3 boys father in the end: “For each day you leave me alone, the stronger I get”
My XH created a baby in his affair that was aborted. Both marriages done. I am 6 years out and feeling better about myself everyday and the decision I made. I did try to repair bc of our children 3 together. I couldn’t after after a year. I walked and I did leave my kids behind for a month til I got a place. He fought me every step of the way but I am with wonderful guy now!
How about working at a school? i worked in a school cafeteria for 16 years while my kids were growing up. that way you have all the days off that your kids have once they start school.
I have never been though anything like this so I don’t have any advice in that aspect but I can say you’ve got this, all moms, women in general, are way stronger than we realize. You will get through this and come out on top and happier than ever even though it may feel like you’re going through the trenches for a little while. 
For working, look into bus driving - they pay for your training/license needs, you get same days off as schools (for when they’re in school) and you can bring the little ones on the bus.
Get any assistance you can. Food stamps, WIC, any child care help.
What I did when I got divorced and it was me and a 2 year old and a 6 month old was get a job in a daycare. My kiddos could go there so I was able to just take them to work with me and if I was there they were there. It worked great for us!
Check out assistance in your county especially daycare. Stay strong momma, you and your kiddos deserve better, been there done that, and I left too. You will get through this!
Why do people think they can do this and not hurt and ruin peoples lives 
it will get better I promise. Ul go thru every emotion u can think of over the next few weeks. But u will be ok and for wateva reason youl manage, money ,will be ok. Do your own UC claim for yourself. Yeh he never met up with her, if she was nearer would he?? Ofcourse. And he’s guna be the one kicking himself eventually. There are some decent men out there. Thinking of you xxxx
Maybe a good time to go back to school. If your interested in taking a program or courses apply for funding the younger kids can get into daycare which is paid for through the funding agency as well as necessities.
Hire an attorney. Do you have the information from his phone? Her name and address? Don’t take him back. Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater. The court will decide for you and he will have to pay you alimony for so long and child support until age 18.
you can’t just lock him out talk it out and work on a co parent relationship until u get your feet on the ground
Could you go work at a daycare and bring the kids not in school yet?
When I was a SAHM I worked for Instacart to make extra money. I could bring my kids with me. Maybe see if they are hiring in your area. I made great money.
You can get daycare through the state
You know what there’s government help out there They will help pay for Child care why you look for a job and maintain a job as long as you’re under certain income level there are government programs that help with paying less for your bills you can even get food stamps trust me trust me don’t rely on no man and don’t stay with any man for financial help he’ll hold that oak over your head forever and you think hes gonna allow for you to get a job and be stable knowing you’re gonna kick him out as soon as you are. Note get out right now why you can. This is exactly what those government programs were made for for when people get in situations especially women get in situations like this where they can’t suddenly support themselves or their children And it’s OK to lean on it for a little bit while you get yourself stable Not one thing wrong with that
Friends and family a support system is what you need right now ! I’ve been here and done that except I didn’t own my home and mind you I only had 1 kid . But I don’t think it would’ve been any different with two . My aunt and mom traded out watching my child while I busted my ass to pay my bills . One thing a lot of women forget these days is their self worth! Yes it’s hard but in the long run so worth it ! My aunt has always pushed on me not to ever let a man take care of you! Even if it is easier outcome . I’m sure he’s still trying to make it work … that’s where you start taking advantage now ! Tell him you need time and help with his children while you fix yourself! Let him pay the daycare fees and take him to court for child support if he doesn’t want to do that! The government will give you assistance with food and he will have to pay their medical bills . You got this! Stay strong for you and those babies !!
Contact your local churches to see if there’s any support they can help with. I do instacart as my side gig to pay off extra bills and bring my son with me! Easy to sign up and you can get started right away. Pay can be be cashed out instantly as well
The Work at Home Lounge (WAHJobQueen)
it’s better to have nothing that one heart being broken like he has done, I had nothing & leave, Get him for child support. Again it will be rough but you will survive for both you & your kids.
Look into getting assistance from government to start off with. When getting divorce see if you qualify for spousal support but also get child support. Try looking for stay at home jobs. Apply and reapply. Ask family if they can help watch kids while you get on your feet. Don’t stress things will fall into place it might just take a little time
The fact they sent photos and were intimate already crossed lines. The disrespect to you as a stay at home mother. Married men shouldn’t even be on Snapchat, that’s the gateway to infidelity, I know from personal experience.
I say, kick him out, and when you’re ready to face him and hear him out, do it on YOUR TERMS! My ex hubby always cheated on me when I was a stay at home mom. He cleared out our savings when he left! I got a great job and was grateful my mom helped with my daughter. Hoping you have friends or family that can help you out. Too many valuable women decide to stay because the thought of doing it alone is overwhelming.
You deserve better! Sending hugs to you!
Sweetie, have friends and family to help as much as possible, you did the hardest part already!!! Now, breathe and do what you must, one day at a time! Hang in there, you’re stronger than you know…!
I’m here to say from experience that no amount of therapy will make you forget the betrayal he has put you through and the trust will never be there and even if, you’ll always question everything now.
It sucks and I’m truly sorry you are having to deal with this!
How can he be having an affair if they have never even met?
Get any government assistance help you can. Food stamps, insurance, families first. Go file for child support. Those will help and eventually you’ll do it all on your own. I have 4 children and I have been able to crawl out and do it with no assistance from the government. I’ve done this on my own with 4 children for 2 years now. Mine was in school. They rode the bus to mom’s and got on the bus at my mom’s while I was working. Reach out to friends and family for help watching kids. The government may pay for daycare, I’m not sure. Just take one day at a time. Many of us have done this and made it and you can too. Keep that head up mama.
I’m sorry you are going through this, I just went through the same situation. I found out it was a coworker mine was calling and texting. It lead to him beating me in front of my kids, I filed for a divorce. My divorce was finalized sept 14, and when I say I couldn’t be happier, I mean it. We as stay at home moms do so much it’s unreal. Once that trust is broken it’s hard to get it back. I know some may say well that not really cheating but it is, if he is giving another woman his attention, it’s cheating. You did the right thing by kicking him out. Look into online jobs, that may help you with financial things. But keep your head up sweetie it will get better for you over time.
The plus side job wise is employers are paying more than normal right now because everyone is so desperate for help. This also means they are gonna be a bit more flexible with your schedule. When you go in for an interview make it clear what you need hours wise. Sit down and really think about when you can work. Look at what expenses you can cut and do it. Yes it’s sucks to get rid of some luxuries that you’re use to like tv, internet, Hulu, netflix, Amazon prime, etc but you can live without them and you gotta do what you gotta do to get by. Look for ways to drop your electric bill. It’s totally doable. I’ve done it but I did it with no house. We stayed with my parents for a bit now we have a house of our own completely customized to what we want/need and I can pay all the bills myself. Things will get better and you’ll be happier than ever. It’s just hard in the beginning especially because you thought you had your forever and now it’s gone but better things will come your way
You’ve got this and your fixing to find out how strong you truly are. Keep your head held high and make it happen for those babies and yourself.
Get a lawyer your married he has rights to the house so don’t get your hopes up. He also doesn’t have to leave until a judge says. Go to DHS and get food, child care etc. Also just start putting in applications for jobs. See if your family will help.you kid may just need to ride the bus.
You don’t need any advice…you know exactly what you’re going to do:woman_shrugging:t5: go right back and make your marriage work…you’re just going through a storm in your marriage…it’ll be over soon…you’re welcome 
I’m really proud of you for not tolerating that behavior and knowing your worth.
Do not turn down jobs just because u think they won’t be good enough or u don’t think you can. I went through a couple when I had to start over before I found where I’m comfortable. Stay strong and stand your ground. Once it happens it’ll happen again. You got this mama
Apply to everything you can assistance wise
Apply at fast food first they really work with a single moms schedule
Use your support group friends and family
You would do the same for them , let them be there for you .
Take a deep
Breath …. You got this !
I’m am not the devil’s advocate here, but take a second to really evaluate the situation. The comments that I have read are not wrong, but don’t be hasty or irrational right now. Being hard on him may open his eyes and there may be room for forgiveness if he is truly sorry and sees what he may losing.
If anything, bide your time. Allow him back to be able to continue to support the family while you complete a strategy plan to be able to support yourself and kids. Going into childcare is a good idea as it will provide you with almost free childcare while being able to work. It’s a short study course. And it can be bearable to put up with him as long as you see your end goal, but you may also be able to fix this mess in the process while gaining your financial freedom.
When I left my exhusband, I had a plan and waited it out. It took six months, but it was worth it in the long run and our son was two. Good luck to you.
Maybe get a daycare job. Where I love if you work there you’re kids go there for free or we have free daycare for certain people. You could probably get food stamps
I’m so sorry darling, it’s strange how people who are meant to love us the most hurt us the most, try doing something positive every day that’s just for you, pampering, learning something etc, it will get better and I hope you find love with someone who deserves it, also your husband will regret this, they always think the grass is greener when it’s not, good luck sweetheart xx
Get a job working in the school system! That way you have holidays and teacher work days off.
Also see if you school system has a daycare program starting at 6 months.
Apply for food stamps
Wic if under 5
Also cut cable
And if you cell phone is paid off go to prepaid
Apply for child support and Alimony take prof he cheated
I’m so sorry ur going thru this… been there. My daughter is a single mom and she is enrolled in online community College. She gets grants to pay for school and she also gets student loans. It averages to quite alot of MONEY. She almost has her house paid for. She got like 8 grand first semester and then 5 grand the 2nd week into 2nd semester. Worry about paying it back later when u have a career. U can manage online classes and still be at home w ur babies. Call ur local community College and they will help you. You can stay w ur babies while advancing your career options.