First id like to say im proud of you ! Alot of woman rather put up with disrespect than be alone or have to work again. This is going to be hard but you can do it 
first find childcare and see if your state can help with costs do u have family? Who can help? How did your husband react ? Will he help support the children? Can u file for alimony meanwhile? I qish you the best and will be praying for you mama! Im a stay at home mom also in an abusive situation and just moved out to be with my sister and i also feel bery lost and scared.
Also your post is on mamas uncut facebook group and lots of woman are replying with help on there
Hi I’m not a mom but if I may. Seek a counselor even if it doesnt workout it will buy you some time to think and figure out some things. Maybe you can figure somethings out maybe not. Find out areas of support and what you can do for you and your kids. Remember that you are stronger than you think you are and that you can do anything you put ur mind too. It will be hard but go slow and put your kids first
I’d like to say how happy I am that you walked away from such a toxic situation! Do not give in, you deserve so much love and respect from A MAN and NOT that BOY that did this to you!!! Stand strong and stand firm on your decision! You are strong, courageous and you also have self respect, do not let that scum bag back, ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER…I pray that God can give you strength and comfort and to give you a peace of mind to know whatever difficulties you face in life God will always be there to catch you when you fall!!! you can do it girl, it will be hard to start over but with love and support from your family and friends, everything will be ok!!! Lots of hugs for you and your kids wishing you all but the best❤
Well done to you. You will get through this. You already are proving to be a go getter and someone determined. You will find a way.
Hold your head up high, you’ve taken the first steps. Look for work from home jobs through indeed. Due to covid lots of places are hiring remotely as well. I’m so sorry you’re going through this! You deserve so much better
I think you are honestly amazing for having the strength to do this and know you deserve way better x
Wow! You go girl. Mad props for putting your foot down and standing your ground. Many women would not be so courageous. I envy you. I wish I was brave enough to make a nice clean break like that, it took me years of getting my shit together to finally be able to do it. I know you can do it. You already did the hard part. 
You can make money online !!! Years ago I started making weight loss tea Instagram videos of me preparing and drinking it that’s how I started I now make 6 figures and stay at home mom - I now own a beauty spa and I have multiple steams of income , I have not had a “job “ in more than 10 years , I homeschool , I have 5 kids my IG : beautyslayagellc
Its definitely not easy at first but it does get better with time I was in a similar situation with my two boys and their dad left me a month before our youngest turned one but you have the advantage of owning your home which is a really good thing it will definitely help and like another poster said with covid going on right now there are more jobs hiring work from home positions. There is also assistance that you can get as well cash, daycare, and food. As I have found from a friend some daycare if you get a job there will let you bring your kids with as well some for free some for a discounted rate depending on the daycare itself of course. But I can promise it does get better and easier just hang in there. During the first couple months it helps to still make time for you when possible to spend time with friends and family even if its just having friends over it definitely helps a lot. You can do this, your strong enough. You’ve already proven that by taking the step of leaving him.
Just take one day at a time 
Join this page! They will send you a link on your phone to look for stay at home jobs. It is legit! I just joined it a month ago. Lots of success stories posted. (I am not affiliated with the group other than being a follower of the page)
I know right now it seems like there’s no solution but trust there always is. I was there before. I tried to find remote work and couldn’t so had to hire an au pair and go to work. Money left wasn’t much but enough to go by. Eventually I got a work from home and time flew! Soon kids were in school and now life is really good. I also found an amazing partner which is cherry on top (but it was not necessary to make me overcome the problem!)
It will not be easy, reach out for help with family and friends if u can… keep your energy ao positive that you will attract beautiful people!
You got this mama. Maybe try to find a at home job? Try finding help until then. Also file for child support on him as well. He needs to still help support even if you aren’t together.
Well you could go to the welfare office and sign up there that will give you the food card. And if he’s not willing to pay you childsupport. They will go after him for childsupport. I didn’t catch it are you two married?
If it’s anything like what happened to me, I bet things have been off for a while. I went through months of trying to ask what the problem was. Even when I was crying beside him at night I still got nothing. So when I said we needed a break and THEN I saw the messages ( he left his discord logged in ) I was already over the hurt and I was just angry. It was challenging to say the least ( I have a 4 year old daughter ) but I decided to then make the best of it. I applied for uni ( just started now ) and decided to work whilst being a single mum. I’ve started redecorating the entire home, buying new things ( because as silly as it sounds sometimes objects can remind you of them even if it’s the same bed sheets etc.) also would advise moving the bedroom around, I couldn’t sleep on ‘his’ side of the bed until I did that. Now I’m like woooo! This is all for me 
feel free to message if you need, cause I know how you feel 
Lawyer up and apply for all the assistance you can get. Try to find a flexible continuing education program or apply for part time work. Move on and get your ducks in a row. Eventually he will have to help out with the kids
Financially or physically and you need to focus on you. It’s tough but you’re a momma. You got this.
I obviously don’t know all the details but want to say, this isn’t your only choice. Think it through, talk to someone about it… take some time for you and make sure this is how you want to handle it, making decisions now while it’s so fresh is a tough go. I don’t mean, don’t leave him but I do mean think things through and do what’s best for you and your kiddos.
TANF helps moms with no income get on their feet in so many ways!
Maybe see if you could get a trusted boarder since there’s a bit more space now he is gone , you have done the right thing , all the best
You’ve got this .You’re stronger thanyou think. There is help out there you just have to find out what your state offers .God Bless
You did the hardest work already - kicking his bum out the door. Keep your boundaries and file the necessary papers to get financial support. Any healthy, loving friends and/or family that can help with the kids is great. If you’re unskilled, you can work part-time as a food server and make reasonably good money from tips. Keep looking ahead. You deserve better.
File for child and spousal support then any other government help you can get. Good job for leaving.
You can do this… doors will open up.
their are groups here on facebook that let you know all of the at home jobs and how to apply for them!
I had the same thing happen, we had just moved into a new house that I couldn’t afford. I left and never looked back. It was hard for like 2 years, but I made my life my own and got back on my feet and you can too!
You got this. Contact your local DHS office to get help with food stamps and healthcare if needed. They can also point you in the right direction for more help to get you on your feet like help paying for your heat and electricity. Also, you should qualify for WIC, since your kids are under 5.
A lodger maybe that could maybe help with paying the bills,it will be hard but you’ll get there just don’t feel you NEED to have him back
I would be careful with the kicking out and changing locks thing since in most states you would have to legally evict him if he chose not to leave
Christian marriage counciling.
Seems trivial, but my best words are, you will survive, u will find strength u never knew you had, keep your faith, pray, all that should be will be
OP direct message me. I work a compare gig and we are strictly work from home it’s data entry you’d be w2 4 10s so I you could get someone to help with pick up and drop off it might work.
Also door dash. Door dash has no rules about your kids being in the car. You can do it with the kids with you.
get a job.
go to court & make sure you can sustain yourself & your life
There’s a saying that you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. You’ve got this! Just keep reminding yourself that it might hurt now and you feel lost, but you won’t forever. I don’t know where you are, but you should be entitled to some help with the cost of living and there are places that can help single parents get access to resources while you’re figuring all the financial stuff out. I always believe these things test us and put us onto a path that’s better and meant for us more companies are offering work from home vacancies now so there might be something you can fit around the children
Tbh the best option here imo is to let him stay but separate the bills. You’re not doing any good for your kids by getting your house foreclosed on. Start working an overnight job. Like stocking or something. I work from 10pm to 5am so I can watch my kids during the day. Its hard but it’s something you can adjust to, but most importantly you’ll start to be able to bring in some income. Set boundaries with him and make it clear where you guys stand while he is still living in the house. From a legal stand point, you can’t just kick him out anyway.
Youll get over this come out orher end ull get your job do well make life you kids youv got this good luck xx
You will be ok… it all falls into place well done for having standards. . and following through
Contact a women’s center to help you get started with research. See if you can get free or low cost counseling to help you deal with his cheating and your future. Work with a social worker to sign up for benefits. You should get child support for the 2 kids you share, other subsidies. Do you get child support for your firstborn? Rearrange the house so you can take in a renter to help with expenses, but vet them carefully and do a background check as they will be living with your young children. See if with various benefits programs if you would really need a renter.
Expand your “village” of family and friends who can help you out. Join moms groups (though this forum is good too, so good for you for reaching out). They can provide advice and in person social outlet for you and possibly swap babysitting or help in other ways. With lots of kids at home, maybe look into grocery delivery vs packing all the kids in the van to shop.
Consult with a lawyer (consult should be free) ASAP to see what you are obligated to do with kicking out hubs and taking $$ from accounts, what you are legally entitled to and how much you need to pay for a divorce or if you can get him to pay.
You may also be entitled to support if you get online training or other post-secondary schooling to better your future job prospects.
Good luck! Tons of women become single moms every day and make it work. It’ll be tough but you can do it.
I’d see if you have a friend, that you trust, would mind moving in and sharing costs and helping with the kids… if she works days, you work nights or vice versa.
Feel free to message me, sweetheart.
Hugs mama, stay faithful in yourself and your ability. Us mamas, are capable of anything we need to, to take care of our babies. I’m sure you will figure it out, and so wish I had some wise words to help you but unfortunately I don’t. You’ll find a way, and I promise you’ll be just fine! And eventually you’ll heal and find a good, deserving man for you and your children. Best of luck to you mama. Have FAITH IN YOURSELF AS A PERSON, mother, and woman… so much respect to you for standing up for yourself and your kids and doing what you feel is right! You’ll be okay 
Alimony and child support…apply for stay at home job, go to DHHR for childcare help…get foodstamps, wic, medical card…you have to be strong for your children so do what ya gotta do…
Apply for child support
Baby sitting in your home could work. Child care is just as much as a job pays
Court. Child support. Alimony. Apply for childcare through your state. Get in touch with your county’s assistance office sand start there.
Jesus heals the broken-hearted
Im sorry you are experiencing this………I know it’s painful, but try to work it out and get some couples therapy.
Everyone who has gone through this and has made it to the other side of this knows the emotional roller coaster this puts you on. I had someone give me this advice. Apply for any assistance you can get. Refresh your resume. Your home is your company and you ran it. When you apply for assistance through the state it will prompt you to do child support. Do it. I’m not sure if still being married helped my case, but I applied in August of 2014 and received my first direct deposit the end of Jan 2015. I sold as much unnecessary stuff to pay bills until I got a job. I was fortunate enough to have my parents keep my kids while I worked. Once my insurance kicked in, I got a therapist and healed and worked on the fear of going at this alone. I went through the should I forgive, am I making a mistake? Should I spend 30 days apart and think about this? For my situation, he cheated, he wanted the divorce and I did wait for him to make up his mind and that’s my only regret. I waisted a year of healing being his doormat. I was accused of overreacting, being selfish because of the kids, the whole nine. But those same people hid the truth from me so the feeling is mutual on that. 
Take babysitting and childcare jobs. Everyone needs child care right now. That will solve your money and your child care issues.
Take it one day at a time… You got this…
File for child support and alimony. You can also see about renting out a room to a female friend.
You’ll make it we all do eventually hes the wrong one not you head up chin walk tall make it happen. You’ve done the best thing now keep it up prayers for you hun
Your first step is to file for a legal separation so you can then file for child support. Separation is a faster process than divorce and depending on your state may be necessary before you can file for divorce anyway.
Firstly, talk to him, tell him what you know, and that you need some time apart. Don’t refuse him access to the children and agree to speak to him only about them for now.
Go to your local jobcentre, they can help.
If there’s a mortgage on the house, you’ll have to switch to interest only as the housing benefit section will only pay towards this.
You can get universal credit and help with paying bills, food etc. Sort this first and get an advance if you need money now and can’t wait the 6 weeks.
Speak to the children’s school and explain the situation.
Give yourself a week to get your head in order and then start looking for a job x
If that’s all it took for you to end a marriage with 4 kids to consider… you didn’t want to be married in the first place. Just my honest opinion. Do I condone cheating? Even virtual? No. But changing locks and packing stuff is childish. Communication is key.
Can I just say good on you… you didn’t think twice about getting rid of him you put your self first realised straight up you deserve better and threw the trash out. As for advice I don’t have much but take it day by day you will make it work you have already shown how strong you are sending love your way
Get a lawyer if you want to really end the marriage !!! If you don’t work and are married, you are entitled to alimony and definitely child support. If you want to stay with him, seek out a therapist. Go individually for awhile and then start going together.
Yes you can get resources to help you pay for daycare for your children while you work , file for divorce and put him on child support. I know it’s hard your heart broken but u don’t deserve that from him !!
Food stamps Medicaid for you and your children, child support, Work force I think for day care and temp job. Door dashing if you can get a friend to ride with you to stay in car with kiddos while you work. You got this mommas!
You’re on the right track! Keep your eye on the prize and don’t settle for his lame ass! It isn’t an easy road by any means but it is well worth it! Find a friend or family member to help you out? Look into getting a job at a daycare… I worked at a daycare and the owner allowed me to bring my children in for free when I worked! You got this mama! Keep on pushing!! Maybe you can start your own in home daycare? Check your local county agencies for assistance… with all of this covid pandemic bullshit there should be more resources than normal available! Good luck to you and your babies!
I think you guys need to have a difficult conversation, give each other the equal opportunity to speak and really listen to one another. Both of you have built a life together and didn’t come this far for nothing. It’s wrong what he did especially without you knowing about it however at least it wasn’t anything beyond that. I can only imagine the devastation you must be feeling right now however I think you need to be as strong as you can right now, put your feelings aside and really listen to your husband’s side of things. Listen to what your husband has been feeling and missing. As fucked up as it sounds your husband has probably been missing you a lot but has been burying that under a rug thinking things are not the same between you two. It sounds like you’ve been through some shit but still do care about one another. Have this conversation with your husband, be adults about it. Be patient, be calm. Listen to what he wants and needs, you gently let him know what you want and need. Set boundaries. This is the toughest it’s going to be but with some work I believe you two could come out of this hand in hand.
My ex randomly ended our relationship and moved out while me and baby were in hospital as she had a lump under investigation and we were told it could be a tumour and it needed to be removed. She was 4 months old.
It was hard and emotional. I felt broken, i had enough on my head worrying about my daughter and i had to ignore my broken heart to focus on her. I worried how i was going to cope, but you know what … we’re good. Your kids can be the thing u need to push you through this difficult time. You got this mama!
You know your worth. Apparently there are women here that don’t. That’s a good thing and it shows you’re going to be okay. Check with the state to see what programs you qualify for.
I left the father of my children at the beginning of this year (for other reasons than cheating but I’m sure he was probably doing that too). Anyways, my 4 children and I had to move in with my mom. Luckily he and I were never married, I continuously put that off over the years due to our issues and now I’m extremely glad I did. It’s been over 9 months. He hasn’t seen the kids since we left or helped financially at all. We’re currently in the middle of a custody/child support case. My oldest 2 are in school, my youngest 2 are not. It’s been a struggle, I’m without a vehicle or a job and finding a job and child care has been extremely stressful, but I’m slowly getting closer to making everything work. It’s rough, but it does get easier. You got this mama❤️
I also just wanna add in, over the last 9 months I had a very good friendship turn into something so much more. At first I pushed him away and ran at any point of him attempting to get close (thanks to C-PTSD, Depression, Anxiety and of course the trauma and abuse I suffered due to my relationship with my baby daddy). Why the hell he stuck around I have no idea. We’ve now officially been together for just over 3 months, and I swear he is the most amazing man, friend and partner I have ever met.
It gets better mama:heart: apply for help. Get a lawyer. File for divorce and child support. It will all be okay!
Hey hun, you have made the right decision by breaking it off. Once a cheater always a cheater and nothing can get you guys back to how it was from the beginning. If you stay you will resent him and live in fear that he might cheat on u again. So don’t take him back. For now contact centrelink abs go on single parent pension. You will get a decent amount to get u by. Lucky you don’t have rent to pay. You will get heaps of benefits including cheap child care rates. Live on cheap food and don’t splurge your money away. Get an advance payment so that you have money to fall back to in case of emergency. Anything is possible. What isn’t possible is having him back in your life. If you need someone to talk to or any advice private message me. I’ve been through this before so I know I can try to give you the best advice as I can. Xx goodluck
It seems because of the shock of finding out about it this way led to a knee jerk reaction which affects not only you but your children as well because they have nothing to do with the decisions made by you and your husband. I understand that you want to get back at him without even trying to get professional help with your marriage, but try to do it with the least amount of damage to your children. The decisions that both of make will have far reaching effects on your whole family!
What he did is wrong? Did he say why he was cheating? Oh, I been there . A cheater always a cheater ,no I dont agree. Not saying you shouldn’t have packed his stuff. I am asking did you and him talk or was it a yelling match because you are hurt. The truth marriage is a shit hole. It’s hard. It’s your feelings and baggage it’s his feeling and baggage. It bills, stress, kids, jobs. So you took yours and yalls, where is his child? It doesnt sound like yall have been together a long time. In less than 24 hours you have packed his stuff, the child’s stuff and put them out , changed locks, took all the money out of the bank. No woman should take being disrespected. But maybe yall have alot more problems than just this. If you you have been raising his child daily and left him / her like that , yall have more issues than his cheating. You can get alimony maybe, you will get child support. Do you collect support for your oldest? Renting out a room in your house is not cool in today’s world.unless you have know them years and still can be an issue. They can help you with daycare. Do you have any family that can help babysit around a job? The truth it is going to be tough. You can do it though. Since you had a child before you were married to him what did you then? Stay strong.
First off, let’s stop placing the blame on her! The separation is a result of HIS actions, that’s HIS GUILT TO CARRY not hers. He was having an EMOTIONAL AFFAIR! Emotional affairs can be just as intimate if not more than physical ones! She was deceived, betrayed, and lied too. Her feelings matter and her decisions are valid. Period 
Queen, the advice I would give you would be to straighten up that crown!
You can apply for daycare vouchers which will probably cover all the child care expenses. If not then it’s time for daddy to figure out if he’s going to care for the babies or provide the funds. Also most schools have after school programs for the older kiddos. It’s time for you to get back out there, you got this!
Every single day, no matter if you feel like it or not, get up and do your makeup, even if that’s the only thing you do for yourself that day… do your makeup!! Pour and invest in yourself!! Next I would tell you to focus on your children! take time to bond with your babies by doing fun stuff together like going to the park etc. More family movie nights, more kisses, and definitely more snuggles!
You should be able to work and make enough to cover your light bill, phone, and essentials since you own your home and by doing so you will find a inner strength and independence that you’ve possibly needed all along! Slowly but surely you will begin to heal! 
You didn’t take a loss Sis, he did!
Seperation is the best! You don’t deserve that. Too many cheaters in this world. I’m sorry this is happening 
.
I have nothing to say but you can do this. And good for you for putting your kids and yourself first. I know it hurts and it’ll be hard but you’ve got this! I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Can’t believe some of these comments about trying to work through it… Seriously? You are strong an brave… Don’t let him bring you down, you will find a way to make it work out I’m sure
The worst feeling in the world is being betrayed by someone you are supposed to trust and love. I am so sorry you are going through this. My heart goes out to you and your children. Praying you are given strength and the courage to get through this for you and your babies 
I’m so sorry you are going through such pain . I’m afraid I don’t have any specific advice to help you now . I do want to say I’m in awe of you knowing your own worth . People let relationships drag on and on when it’s clear that things won’t change . If he is really , really , wanting to make things right you’ve sent him the message loud and clear that he’s got some work to do . If he doesn’t I think you’ll find the confidence to make plans for your future that might not be easy at first but will be right for you and your children . You deserve honesty and fidelity .
Dude be kind to yourself! Your allowed to be mad, sad , angry ect. Let yourself grieve. This process will take months, years. But learn to breathe. One step at a time. It took me a good couple of years to get over my ex. I was pregnant without second child when I left with the clothes on my back. Fast forward five years, I have my own home, a new partner who doesn’t own the house, and a job that is permanent. Take one step at a time. Find a job, take a few months to find something that suits. Ask someone who is around for help- friend, family, neighbour for help. You got this and you can do this! It will make you so much stronger! Also come to an arrangement with him for the kids. So much easier to be on friendly terms than a fuck you, court and not seeing the kids. (That being said still get a court order for your protection.)
The petty part of me says make him sleep on the couch and YOU go back to get some sort of certification while he is off work. And you get a part time job to save while you take classes and use HIM to watch the kids and pay bills while you figure this out. There are programs that help pay for daycare as well.
The certification you might want will be medical billing and coding. You can work that from home! Certification doesn’t take long. Medical transcription also is a work from home gig
U do NOT deserve that! U did the right thing!
I was wondering If you packed up his things and put them outside
what about his child?..is his child staying with it’s mother or you …just curious I would apply for child support right away…go to human resources because they will help you…You two need to have a serious conversation about what happened and if you plan to get counselling to repair your marriage…while he didn’t actually cheat but it would of been just a matter of time before they connected…best of luck to you in whatever you decide to do…
Ur very lucky u have ur home… when I left my ex I didn’t even have a home for my baby and little boy and we had to stay at the local women’s shelter til I got my own place shortly after… just go and find childcare or a babysitter preferably who accepts childcare subsidy to help pay for it!! So you can work. You will enjoy having those hours every day to yourself even tho ur working…
Also. Once they cheat and u take him back… they usually keep cheating. If down the road you do wanting to get back together… seek couples counseling.
Hey you can do it. I did the same thing and I had been married for 29 years and still had two babies to raise. 2 and 4. Plus teens . Family and friends can lend a hand . If not them than look for local agencies that help with daycare costs. There are after daycare for school age kid. It will be hard at first but you got this girl. You will rise above all and win. Its what woman do that have kids. We fight for what best for our children and yourself. Stay strong and live yourself and your children. God bless
This happened to my sister, except he was boning the other chick for real. She was working two jobs to take care of them while he was out cheating. It was really hard for her starting from nothing but luckily we all would watch the boys while she worked until she could afford daycare. She did get some child care assistance from the government and was able to get wic, and a very small amount of food stamps until she got on her feet. You got this mama!! Have you considered maybe watching a couple of kids for another family so you can stay home with ur kids and make money, or even clean a few houses? I clean one office a week and make $150 a week for 3 hours a week. Ppl are always looking for reliable baby sitters to watch their kids while they work.
I’ve been there hon. New Year’s Day 2020 I found out he was having an affair with someone he worked with for over 6 months. Destroyed me for a while. If you look at the big picture you will be over whelmed. Start with the job aspect. Can you look for a job at a daycare that lets you bring your kids or driving a school bus? Can you turn part of your home into a daycare and take other children in? One step at a time, one moment at a time, one breath at a time. A year and a 1/2 later I’m working full time. Went back to college. Own my home. And I’m happy!! I don’t have to worry about what is going to upset him or what he might not like. I can be myself without the little jokes and digs about being “too much” or “weird”. Life is good on the other side and you will get there!!! Some great advice on the other posts. Hold your head up
I was cheated on throughout my pregnancy with his twins! Kicked his ass out so fast!!! U can do it! U deserve better!
I am so proud of you for putting your foot down and taking the leap to live without that toxic human!!! First thing you do is apply for state assistance, you can apply for any and everything and you’ll have that until you figure your situation out if you have family nearby, ask them for help and/or support. It’ll be hard to do this alone, but I’ve done it with 3 very small children so it’s possible! Get divorced, get child support. If you’re in a state that supports alimony, you’re entitled to that too. Hang in there
Honey, how old are your youngest? Are they too young for a headstart program? My two girls attended headstart prior to kindergarten and it’s based on your income. Also, you may qualify for daycare vouchers through your local DSS agency. Apply for foodstamps. Get him in court, he will have to pay child support on the two kids you share together. Try to find online work where you can work from home. I know I’ve seen where places like QVC hire work from home jobs. Your already a step ahead by owning your home. Also, maybe you could watch a couple of kids at your home. That would help with some income.
I am a mom with 4 (now grown daughters) my oldest was in 4th grade and my youngest was1 when I left. I. Was 26 years old and I had never worked outside the home. I took my girls and moved. It was really hard but I had my mother to lean on. I got a job for the first time in my life and I slowly watched things fall into place. You can do this. There is a lot of help out there if you are willing to use it. All I knew then is my babies deserved a better lite. Good luck. You are stronger than you think.
I watched a Ted talk on infidelity from a sex therapist and she said “men cheat to stay in a relationship, women cheat to get out of one”!
With that said I think there are more problems than him " emotionally cheating"! If he was doing that then there’s something missing in the relationship 
…IDC women look for it to be “his” falt when both can make it work or let it fail but its just as much your fault as his!
Throwing him and his kid out was COMPLETELY WRONG NO MATTER WHAT!
If you have family you can move in with, do it! Just temporarily. Until you can get on your feet. File for all your legal stuff immediately (custody, visitation, child support). Look into programs that assist in paying for childcare, so you can look for a job, or ask relative to babysit. I had to move in with my dad for a while, I had to share a room with my 2 girls for a few years before we could afford to move out. But it allowed me time to get back on my feet and my dad thankfully would watch my girls while I worked.
File for divorce right away. Get child support ad well as alimony.
Good for you standing your ground. It is so much easier to take them back. Been there dine that and it happened all over again. The 2nd time it didn’t hurt which helped me know I was done! DONE-DONE!
I was in the same situation. While I wait for things to finalize I am enrolled in school. I am collecting loans and bursaries to help get me through to the finalization of my divorce. Schools are also almost all offering online learning- which allows you to stay home. It had been a long road. 3+ years now. Covid has delayed alot. Now I am with an amazing guy- my best friend of 25 years. It gets better because you deserve better. Everyday is a day closer to better and between now and your day of being happy and satisfied with where you are there will be harder days. Days that are more emotionally draining and lonelier than the day you found out what he was doing. It is all worth it I promise - you are doing great! You are not alone!
Also you can sue the other party for alienation of affection causing your husband and your marriage to come to this and he will have to pay alimony and child support if your state allows it you can do this for your children and your self cause you take him back you will never have that trust again !!!
Sorry but if you’ve never been in the situation then you don’t know how it really feels. . How betrayed and shattered you feel finding out things like she did. Everything you’ve ever felt or thought is questionable from that moment on. Communication is key yes but why didn’t HE talk to her cause evidently there was something missing they could’ve fixed before talking to another female and ripping apart their marriage!!! I think she done the right thing. Done what she felt she needed to. Only thing I know is take life one day at a time. He should help you with bills since he knows you and the kids need a place to live. Keep your head up cause life does get better eventually 
Been there done that… over and over and over And over…. And over again… I was with my ex husband for over 20 years, married 16, 3 kids. He cheated from the start (I was 15 he was 16) I’m now 40… anyways, I know how you feel because when I finally had had his crap for good and kicked him out, it was so scary. He was all I knew… but trust me if I can do it you can too. Reach out to family and close friends, find out in your community where and how to get help for you and your kids… get child support and start looking for a job. I think a job won’t only do you good financially, but socially as well. He messed up big time whether or not it was only long distance… it’s just as bad. Cheating is cheating. Period. You can do this!
Can you find someone to rent one of your rooms or exchange for childcare? Any family/friends that can move in with you for the time being?
You did the right thing! Don’t let anyone tell you different.
You are dealing with so much… the hurt and betrayal and then wondering how you will make this work. 1st of all, he will have to pay you alimony since he is the one that took care of things financially and child support since you will have the children. When you are able to speak to him I’d ask him how he wants to handle things…can we make a reasonable plan or do I need to get a lawyer? Most states you can dial 211 and they will have options for you. As other stated file for foodstamps ASAP… they will see u have no income and probably grant u emergency funds. If you are still paying on your mortgage contact them and let them know the situation. They may have options for you as well. There are placed that help with bills until you can get on ur feet. There is ELC that will give you daycare while you look for a job or go back to school. My college has scholarship funds that pays for daycare while you are in school
This will not be easy…but YOU GOT THIS!
You’ve got this!!! You are way stronger then you will ever think you are! One step at a time, don’t try to jump every hurdle at once! Write out all the things you need to do and tackle each one at once! Remember to breathe and take time for you! X
Being a Waitress is quick money, that’s where I would start. Apply for benefits all & everything, this is what’s it’s there for. If you don’t have a degree now would be the time I would go back to school, apply for every grant out there, you’ll get some. Plus student loans. Nursing is where it’s at, they are practically paying you to go to nursing school right now since there is a very high demand & regardless of economy that is a job that will always be needed.