You may have over-reacted. Find out why he needed another relationship…sounds like something is missing. TALK IT OVER!! Don’t over-react. You may learn to regret it. Guys can be pretty immature sometimes…
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If he can spend his free time sending messages, pictures, and most liking video chatting, possibly even money being sent her way…yeah it’s cheating.
4 kids and a wife doesn’t mean you invest time like that to someone else.
She did what she needed to do or those kids would have been dragged through a toxic relationship.
Raise them better than us 
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Wherever you live check out for government programs to help you. Most cities have many resources for women with children who are forced to start over. Don’t give up. Being a single mom can be done, many women do it every day
Not ppl in the comments telling her to let him stay & try to work it out🥴. Just b/c some of you put up with that nonsense doesn’t mean she has to.
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Apply anywhere & everywhere because pretty much everyone is hiring now because of Covid. Also if you aren’t receiving assistance right now apply for Food stamps, TANF because they will help you find a job & free/cheap daycare & also apply for WIC if any of your children are 5 or under. If you don’t have a car/don’t drive for any reason & live where you can catch/ride the bus buy a monthly pass. That will help & last until you can get another. I’m praying for you! You’ve got this!
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He needs to be paying
Did you get copies of affair (snapchat) get a lawyer, child support, spousal support ! Make him continue to pay for the married, kid life
Not your fault maybe anyone who decides to cheat & eventually get caught learn that if you want your cake and eat it
It cost alot too do both JS !
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Leave his ass as soon as possible because as soon as you can he will meet her without you knowing if hes cheating like that mentally and emotionally it’s a wrap
I’m sorry you going through this.
Best advice: Counseling for you. Consult with an attorney. Apply for assistance. Seek out programs to help you. You are so very strong for not forfeiting your boundaries, it’s truly inspiring. Right now, it’s all so overwhelming you probably feel like you’re spinning.
Take care of yourself and your kids first from now on… Best of luck to you.
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I’m so sorry 
I would be first in line for government childcare subsidies in order to get back to work somewhere. (If it’s not on a wait). If there is a non-profit law firm you could call in your area, they might have better, local advice
You are stronger than you realize!!! The fact that you did all that already just goes to show your strength! You will be better off in the long run. Keep your chin up and hang in there mama❤
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One good parent is better then 2 that argue and carry on if he’s doing such things your not happy some men just never satisfied with what they have well should some people but little do they know grass isn’t always greener see if you have a friend or family member that can help with the kids at least until you can get it together your strong you can do it this social media cell phones worse thing ever maybe try find maybe friend that could stay with you for awhile good luck hang in there it will all work out
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Apply for all the assistance you can. Especially child care. Food stamps and child support.
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Those of you saying to talk it out are crazy! He’s already emotionally cheating… it’s just gonna continue if she stays! I don’t know you… but I’m really proud of you! Make sure you stick to it and don’t let him come back! Definitely apply for government assistance to help you get through this… I would definitely file for custody and child support!
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You are a very strong and courageous Mamma!! You are going to get through this heartbreaking time in your life. Maybe find a job in a nursery? Or provide a home ironing service? Good luck darling, you really can do this 
Don’t know where you live but reach out to social services, the YWCA, local churches for resources. YWCA helped me with job training and school and have other resources for women transitioning in their lives
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Daycares is a good one for that some have free or half price daycare for employees
Awe that’s terrible I’m so sorry ur going through this! An emotional/online affair is just as bad as a physical one! U did the right thing for u and the kids, believe that ok! Ur gonna have to dig deep to find the strength to go in and not take him back no matter how much he begs and pleads and tells u that u need him! But u can do it ok don’t give up!! Hugs and prayers sent to u:two_hearts:
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I’m not sure if this is good advice but I would maybe you could be a bus driver so you can take care of your kids plus have so income to help with your bills
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There are programs to help single parents. Look into them… And congratulations for sticking up for yourself!
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My heart goes out to you 
if i get cheated on his shit is burnt to a crisp outside. And if im married! Noo you need to take that proof to your lawyer and divorce him. You’ll get child and spousal support and try working from home!
That’s terrible and I’m sorry he did this to you
File for legal seperation and apply for all assistance.
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If you don’t know where to start looking for the programs contact the United way in your area they can direct you to where and sometimes how to apply for assistance programs.
You can do it hun…it is overwhelming and the heartbreak doesn’t help but just take it one day at a time
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go to DCS n get on welfare n food stamps n start looking for day cares n jobs prayers
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Sorry for the troubles but you cannot just change the locks and put his stuff outside. You can get in trouble for that and that wouldn’t help your situation. You are gonna have to file divorce, eviction, etc. And even if he decides to go somewhere else you still cannot throw his stuff outside. And he can still claim that as his address. You can go to the state and ask for help with daycare or food etc…
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Find a job opposite of his schedule, and put daddy on duty.
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Depending on where you live you could get day care vouchers for the children and then get a job working mother’s hours so you would be available to pick up drop off kids
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Is there any hope to salvage the relationship?
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Start a daycare, earn money from home. You got this! File for custody if you got kids together and file for child support and alimony to help you out. Also, call 211 try to get on snap and medical.
Apply for government assistance. Also look into work from home jobs. I have worked several and some paid decently. There are a lot of options for work from home and I’m sure they would understand your situation.
Contact a lawyer ASAP.
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Indeed. Remote work (work from home jobs).
Be a school bus driver. U can take your kids and it’s high pay. Also, they need drivers bad
Keep moving forward! Once a cheater always a cheater. Try to be around friends and family. Big hug from a stranger!
Well of course you feel like this,it’s a heartbreaking experience!As for you getting a job and working things out with childcare,moms do it all the time it’s nothing new!You can get it worked out,trust in god he will never steer you wrong!Prayers your wat hun,chin up buttercup you got this!Oh and you’re not the first woman to be cheated on and you won’t be the last,Trust!!
Get child support money from him. Get help from the government. What about your family?
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Get your ass on welfare and all that goes with it. Theres no shame. I was in pretty much the dame boat except my hisband was an abuser.He hurt me but when he hurt our son, I left. I was on welfare till I found a good job and childcare. which was mostly paid for thru another program. it will be tough but you will get thru it. Pray a lot too. Hod will take care of you.
Call your local social services…I think they do online applications now. It may take several weeks but there should be a program that can help you w your electric. Also file for child support and alimony…
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Good for you making a move like that as soon as you found out. Find assistance you will be just fine without a cheater.
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Do you qualify for spousal support*
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You move fast! Good for you!
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Time apart is a must, helps better clearing your head and getting his together, if you both decide to stay together therapy is a must , Or you’ll drive yourself crazy thinking he’s always cheating 
but keep in mind this isn’t something he just started doing if he’s this comfortable doing that 
If you have always been a stay at home mom he will have to pay you child support plus alimony ok n top of that or he should have to help you out with the bills to get you started my attorney made it to we’re my cheating ex had to help put me up in a apartment and all made sure u had a place to live and all .
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He will have to cover your bills idk what state your in but he has screwed himself if your married and have never worked !!! Allimony call your lawyer if your serious about leaving him
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Where there is a will there is a way!! I know it’s hard to see any positive right now but you have to focus on what you can control. Figure out who is in your ‘village’ such as any friends or people who could help you with school pick up / drop offs and such. Ask in local mom groups on fb about possible jobs. You could start a child care at your home.
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I applaud your zero tolerance. I wish I would have been that strong. 
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You made the most important decision… Now keeping putting 1 foot in front of the other. YOU GOT THIS!
You are so strong, and what you did will show him he cannot do this to you and you will let him. I’ve forgiven too many times for things that I find unacceptable and he continued to do them because I never once threw him out or showed him I can do this without him. (Which I can I am just an idiot.) you are amazing and strong, you can do this. It’ll be hard, but momming is hard regardless. And in the end you made the best choice you could have. Good job mama 
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The first step is done… he is gone!! Once a cheater always a cheater!! Stay strong mama. If you have a family member or friend to keep them for you to get a job. Once you get a job apply for daycare assistance & food stamps at your local DFCS. It will help until you get on your feet better. Also apply for child support. Then you can afford your bills. I wish you all the best! You got this!
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So… Take his kids away because he cheated? Please don’t be one of those so-called mothers. Don’t punish your kids by removing their father from their lives.
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I’m so sorry. Heartbreaking. Check with if there’s any organizations that provide assistance with utilities. There’s many home based jobs these days, just check online. Best wishes
You are being so brave! You already took the first, hardest step and threw him out! Have you thought of doing home daycare/babysitting for some income? Otherwise there might be subsidized daycare for your kids so you can look for work. Personally, I clean houses so I can keep my schedule flexible. If your kids aren’t too young, they can spend a little time at home alone. I think 11 might be the legal age for that?
Do yourself a favor lady I don’t know what what kind of education you have but there’s plenty of good jobs out there you have to get an education go get it and dump the creep because it ain’t going to stop good luck
You have made the best decision! Stay strong and all will fall into place. Keep your head up!
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File for divorce first.
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There’s a lot of remote jobs available, go online and look love. Congrats on being a strong woman and putting your self worth first and foremost. if you have internet and a computer (either a PC or laptop) look for WFH jobs. Some companies will even send you the equipment you need as long as you have reliable internet. Good luck mama!
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You CAN get thru this!!
He cheated- file that divorce in court and get that cheaters $.
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Go to Tywanna Smith and join her legit work from home group. You’ll be fine! Best Wishes!
Call your friends and family, let them know what’s happening. Rally your support team. They may have some ideas of how you can juggle kids/work. Go see a lawyer and file for Legal Separation. This will protect you from being responsible for any new lines of credit he opens. It will also make him responsible for financially supporting you and the kids until there’s a final divorce decree. I know you’re feeling devastated right now (been there). But I will tell you from experience, that on the other side of all this hurt, there is a beautiful life waiting for you. I went from living a black and white life to living in full color. I wouldn’t change a thing and that includes the pain it took to get me here. You’re Strong, You can handle all this. Good luck 
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Going back to school is scary but it’s what helped me leave my ex husband. I’m not excited about the school loans I’ll have to pay back but it helps out tremendously with our bills currently. You got this. First step was kicking his sorry ass out. You got this mama. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You can apply for food stamps in the meantime since you kicked him out and you are the sole provider now.
If you file for Divorce first you will have a hand up on him. It’s not cheap either but depending on how long you been married he might have to pay you spousal support on top of child support. 
So sorry you’re going through this.
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This kind of pain is unbearable… I’m so very sorry you are going through this. You are not the reason for him being a horrible person… and you do not deserve to be treated with such disrespect… realize your worth because everything else will fall in place… always take care of yourself first… you’re amazing… you’re beautiful and you’re loved. My prayers are with you… don’t give up.
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Look at local resources for housing, food assistance, etc. It’s going to be hard but you can do it! I joined the military and that made all the difference for me to get out. File for child support, WIC, and whatever other resources you can find! It won’t be easy but you can do this!
I Did early childhood education as a single mother with two small children
Girl you can do this! There’s help for single moms. Apply for SNAP, child care assistance, TANF at your DHS office & apply for child support now. Don’t wait for the divorce. Start applying for jobs. Some areas have help to get work too.
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Right off the bat I would say look into working from home. I know there are lots of fakes out there but now days there are real work from home jobs…my prayers are with you
They have Gov assistance to help pay for daycare while you work. I would be out that night. It’s hard to leave when you have to start over and kids in the middle but it’s worth it.
Head down and get any resources you can and get pumping out a resume.
First of all I’m so sorry. You can rent a bedroom to someone…and move your two little ones into your bedroom (I’ve done that before and actually doing it now). You can do instacart and Shipt for a few hours. Those are grocery delivery services (I work for Shipt). Instacart allows you to bring your children when you shop…Shipt doesn’t).
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Your child tax benefit will increase significantly once you notify the government your single.
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You’ve already taken the first and toughest step girl! You got this! I’m not in your shoes but just wanna say I admire you’re strength! God bless you and you’re babies and prayers that it all works out for you.
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Childcare assistance, apply for it. Ask family and friends for help. You got this 
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I strongly believe in talking it out to a therapist to get you through. That’s what helped me make important decisions in a painful time in life…good luck…I feel your pain…
I don’t know where you live open a daycare 
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Breathe. It hurts less with time. Hugs and prayers 
Don’t be afraid to use government assistance until you get back on your feet. You can afford the bills and do this, it’ll be hard but you are so strong for leaving already. I hope everything works out for you and that you keep believing you deserve better
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I been and your shoes it wasn’t easy but I was on my own no family or friends to help out but try to get some government assistance you can do this I now have my own place a great job that works around my schedule with my boys. Good luck and I know you can do it Remember your not alone
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Just know that what you’re trying to accomplish is more than possible…women/mothers do it everyday! You’ll be just fine 
Your capable of more then you think you are!
You did the hardest part already. Somethings may not go exactly as you wish but I’m sure you’ll work things out
You got this! Don’t be afraid to ask for government assistance to get you up in your feet
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It’ll be hard at first you’ll feel like you’re failing but one day you’ll wake up and feel so relieved. You can and will get through this. One day at a time.
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I honestly wish I had your strength! This sorta happened to me recently as well and because I’m dumb and have 2 kids I haven’t left because I don’t want to up root them or for them to know anything about it. Keep your head up high girl
You Go Girl!!! Good for you. You have self respect and you’re a good mom for making the difficult decisions, that keep you and your children in a healthy environment. Get a resume thrown together - apply for WFH positions. Seek out assistance and benefits; through the state and even church. Take a hard look at the bills, call it quits (even if just temporarily) on anything you can truly live without. And for the love of the universe, stay your course and don’t let that jerk wiggle his way back in 
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- Take a deep breath
- give yourself credit for being strong and taking a very difficult step
- look for support from other women
- consider taking a responsible roommate ( hopefully a woman in a similar situation)
- if you are up to it, provide childcare for a couple more children for income
- if possible, carve out at least a few hours each week for you…( possibly trade child care with another mom )
You will be okay friend. It’s hard as hell, but something tells me you’ve got what it takes. Good luck and take care.
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Go to your local DHS they will help you apply for any programs that can help with food, rent, reduced day care, ECT. If you have a car try signing up for instacart or doordash for quick money until you’re settled into something better. Good luck!
Welfare office has programs to cover daycare costs. When filling or job applications make it clear you can only work starting after a certain time gining yourself the time needed to drop kids of at school and daycare. If your child’s school does busing you can also set it up that your school aged kid is bused to the daycare after school ifyou find a daycare that had an after school program. Many of us became unexpected single mothers we all make it through it. You can do this.
Call 211 and get on food stamps and I think you can apply for Wic there too, not sure… anyway tell them you need to file for a divorce and need help for an attorney for child support. They will give you free legal help to get your child support going. Use the child support and child tax credit for the bills…. Go to IRS.GOV and create a log in and get your account set up so child tax credit will split it between you and him…. Assuming he’s getting some custody of his kids…
Use food stamps and Wic for food… I am not familiar with welfare and how that works. But ask 211, they’ll know.
Ask for a church to help with food and if they know any jobs from home
Sign up for rover. Walk dogs or baby sit them
Set yourself up with nextdoor app and see if your local neighbors need childcare. Ask neighbors for help with any food that they no longer want.
Task rabbit and run errands for people…
If you don’t mind driving people around
Uber drive or Lyft
Deliver people fast food or grocery shop for them. I made out well with doordash.
DoorDash, favor, Shipt, Uber eats & grub hub
De clutter and make money doing it. Sign up for Mercari.com. I use that to sell clothes my kids outgrew.
Yardsales are good for quick cash and you also get to declutter…
Become a foster parent. The pay is decent
Hardest thing is to leave and secure shelter. You did that!! Stay strong and pray everyday! Just focus on your kids.
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get rid of this ass hole
Apply for all the government assistance and pray for your serenity, strength and guidance.
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Good job !! You could do doordash or Instacart it pays pretty good. I do both. You can pick your own schedule so it will work great with kids.
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Yesssss chick. My childs father cheated for so long and I found out shortly after having our one and only. I packed myself and my 2 month old and left his sorry ass. Kids need to see parents stand up for themselves and whats right. I know there are some companies that still do at home jobs like Capital One Bank. Also there is a lot of assistance for single moms but in no means am I saying it is going to be easy. I know you can do it. Parents always find a ways.
The first year of getting back to independence is rough but remember IT PASSES with hard work. You’ll be overwhelmed, tired, broke and frustrated but it pays off. Some days it will seem impossible but it truly is the most amazing thing the day you realize you’ve done it❤️
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I promise you can do it. Use all the resources you can! Local food banks, government help, community events and so on.
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I agree to apply for government assistance. They will start proceedings to get him on child support. You can get daycare assistance, so that will be helpful while you search for a job as well as while working. Try to find a job during school hours to keep childcare costs down. Look into programs that help displaced homemakers find work, try the department of labor. They can help with gas, work clothes, education… There is a worker shortage everywhere and places are paying more, so the job will be the easy part. If you’re interested in working in a daycare they sometimes offer free or discounted childcare. There are so many resources, you just have to look for them. Call 411, they can direct you to assistance. You are so strong for making this choice. You can absolutely do this on your own. Don’t get discouraged and trade your happiness for convenience. It’s not worth it. You will be so much better off in the end and you will find someone who could never imagine hurting you like that.
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Empathy for his “previous” child who will get displaced with him, kudos for you however for zero tolerance of his bullshit, commiting to someone and having children is serious and he obviously isnt
There are plenty of jobs you can do from home, look into those. You are a strong woman and have already done more than others can, you took out the trash.