Im here to say im proud of you. I dont know your next move…but you are STRONG. KEEP MOVING, AND HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH!
MUCH RESPECT!!
Good for you. I hope you find comfort in your choice and I’m proud of how strong you are.
Go to the county and get help. Find a job. See if you can find a roommate for a few months til you get on yous feet?
You did the right thing, he won’t change, but also a hard thing. You can do this, you’re not the 1st or last to go through this crap. You deserve better. Get government aid until you can get on your feet. Maybe remote work from home. Hopefully this will pass soon, best of luck.
So many places are hiring just one step at a time maybe apply for assistance and start trying to fi d a job working around the school schedule and local sitter groups one step at a time and budget like crazy till you get their one step at a time assistance jobs then daycare
Consider counseling it can help
Everything falls apart when you’re about to level up. New energy can not come in with old ties. 
All I can say is I am in a similar boat and I am so sorry you are going through this. Make sure you tap into your community resources (food stamps, Medicaid, even check your local CPS because they can help you apply for state funded childcare assistance), take some time to update your resume too. So many places are hiring right now. You got this mama.
Government assistance and ask family for help… it’s going to be extremely hard and you’ll hurt for a while but one day you’ll look around you and realize you’re ok and you did it… you’ll be happy again, I promise.
Go to dshs and get childcare assistance, food stamps, and Medical. Create a resume and start submitting your application where ever you can work. You can do this. 
Boss up and do what you have to for you and your kids and trust me the happiness will come. Give it time. 
you got this.
Keep your head up first of all. Second go to your local DSHS office and apply for food stamps and medical cards. If you really cannot pay the bills for the house you’re going to need section 8 or low income rent. The DSHS office and your local WIC office have a list of jobs that need to be filled so while you’re down there pick up the list. They also have a list of daycares that accept state paid. Just because the daycare accepts state paid does not mean you don’t also have to come out of pocket also. If you don’t want to put your kids in daycare there are a lot of places that are offering work from home jobs right now. For instance I would try to get on the social security department or a federal job. I was just told most of them are not coming back for the next year at least. Third it’s okay to be upset. Cry if you need to. Sit in the bathroom and eat a Snickers while the kids pound on the door. You’re not a bad parent for this. You need to be mentally okay too. Last but not least get a lawyer and go after child support. (I highly recommend you put him on it.) Ask for alimony in the divorce . Go after any 401ks and assets that he may have. Also during the divorce ask that he pays for the lawyer. If you live in the United States you can always call United Way 211. They can help you with anything too. They can even help you find a lawyer. They can tell you any local or state services you may qualify for. Good luck. It will get better.
So sorry. You can do this. There is a lot of help out there. I wish you all the luck in the world.
KISS THAT CUBICLE GOODBYE Legit Work from Home Jobs (Discussion)
I’m sorry mama!
Be glad you u’re Nitin her shoes .miss judgy
Going through now and idk what to do either almost same scenario.
Take it day by day. It will be hard at first but you can most definely do it!
Thank you for not putting up with the cheating.
Just sending you love and light 
What about the other 2 kids?
You’re doing the right thing. Keep going, you won’t regret it.
There are lots of work from home jobs available now because of the pandemic. If you have a computer id look into that for sure. Sending love and light your way.
He will have to pay support
Get a job at a daycare!!!
I’m sorry you have to go through this!
Honestly, I was in a similar situation! Single Mama with 2 small boys! (4 and 8)
I lived with my Mom for a year to save money.
Once I did that, got 2 jobs (Daycare, Mon-Fridays from 8-5 & a clothing store Tues/Thurs nights & weekends) and went to school to finish my Bachelor’s (part time). I had my sister help out with my boys. (Thank God I had that help) Do you have anyone that can help?
The school I enrolled my kids into had before and after school care, so I was able to drop them off by 7am and pick up by 6pm. They had after school extracurricular activities. (Christian Private School). They were a BLESSING! They helped me get Action for Children to help pay for the before and after school care, I got on government assistance for awhile to get groceries, found an apartment with heat included, and signed up for programs that helped pay my light bill. Fast forward (my sons are 22 & 18, plus my new husband and I have a son (9) and daughter (5). I’m a school teacher with a Master’s.
Writing all this…I still can’t believe I did it, but it CAN BE DONE! It was HARD, but I believe in you!
I’m also Christian, so I lean on the Lord’s word often and do lots of prayers! He got me through the toughest times of my life!
You’ve got this! Take it 1 day at a time! Things will get better! God bless you! I will definitely keep you in prayer!
How about we grow the fuck up and have a plan for our children before we kick out the sole breadwinner? The women in this comment section are living in fantasyland. Very sad; I feel bad for the kids.
Good for you! Go apply for child support. And county and state assisstance. they offer daycare help. Finding a job is a dime a dozen and is paying good money. Personally I’d go go work at mcdonalds for 13+ an hour for now. They’re flexble hours and and pretty mindless work. I did it, a lot of us has done it. You can do it too. If he is a good parent, put aside all feelings and co parent with him. That is best for the kids and your pocket book.
File immediately for financial assistance and for divorce if that’s what you want. The faster you start, they will have him paying you alimony and child support. He will have to financially support you basically until you remarry usually. Don’t be ashamed to take his ass to the cleaners. He put you in that situation to make him dependent on him and took advantage. F that guy.
Get divorced in California… he will have to pay you, Mama… keep your head up. Sometimes it’s a great thing that the trash takes itself out! Trust that! 
Go to your local state assistance center and take the help up. Go to the county courthouse, file a a pauper and have him served with court papers for a divorce. Depending how long you have been married and state you can ask for maintenance and find out what the max child support percentage is in your state for 2 kids. Ask also for him to pay for half of child care costs, have him keep and pay for kids on insurance, ask for him to pay half of copays.
If vehicle is in both names ask that he keep the one and you the other. Ask for every other weekend ( if your older child goes w/dad make it the same weekend so you have time to yourself or work) say which holidays you would like the children. It’s a lot and hard, but so worth it.
McDonald’s an factories are now paying good wages get government assistance for daycare an food also there are government programs that will pay your electric an water call your providers to get the numbers to call collect child support for children you have by him give him back the ones he has by someone else sit down take a breath an make it work because you can get a job an start taking care of yourself an your children an never allow yourself to ever become dependent on another person to provide for you an your needs you just learned a hard lesson
Get some assistance girl. Look into work from home jobs.
You got this!! I had to take on three jobs with two little ones when my ex cheated and I threw him out.
File for child support asap. Get gov assistance. Call churchs for help.
Look for grants single moms for school (online) to help you get an education.
Good for you for taking the chance and not putting up with it!!
I’m gonna say this loud cause apparently alot of people need to hear this PEOPLE SHOULD NOT STAY TOGETHER FOR THE KIDS!!! THAT IS HORRIBLE ADVICE TO GIVE!! IT IS NOT HEALTHY FOR KIDS TO GROW UP IN A HOUSE WITH UNHAPPY PARENTS!! He cheated, even if it wasn’t physical, he cheated and she has every right to leave!! Good for you OP!! Kick his ass to the curb, you deserve better!!
Sounds like alot of women in here are use to being treated like crap and you would allow it to continue and raise your children to also be treated like that or teach them it’s ok to treat people like that
Get out sweetheart! Who do you love more? Him or yourself? You can do this! You only have one chance at life! Make it count! Be happy! Your children are counting on you to give them a safe and stable environment! What your children see is what they will learn and accept when they are older and in relationships!
I’m a stat at home mom too and I’ve been waiting for something like this to happen…men aren’t trustworthy or reliable anymore
Your world isn’t falling apart, it’s falling together. Some thing in the universe recognized what was going on with him and made sure that you were aware of it. Emotional cheating is just as bad as physical cheating.
You’ll do it by yourself or with minimal help since you e been doing it mentally already and didn’t know it. Youve got this. Network with friends family coworkers of your new job that you’re going to go get. Work the night shift so your best friend can watch your kids while you watch her kids. You do what you Gotta do but you’ll get back on top. You’re the boss.
File for child support TODAY.
Get on benefits, at least apply. Go for every resources you can
Start collecting child & spouse support asap. Hubs does not get to freely leave without supporting you till the divorce decree. So go file first with the evidence and receipts for your daily living expenses.
Call 211 explain what you need and they will help as much as they can.
Some lawyers will do a payment plan can’t hurt to call
Food stamps, and they also offer tanif (cash assistance for ‘needy’ families, and cheaper childcare options
Alot of churches will help with food, bills and clothing
Join the group Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD) - Surviving the Battle in Love
I’m sorry you are going through this.
There are plenty work from home jobs if you have internet.
Look for stay at home jobs.
I’ve been doing this work from home for 5 years, I love it! It’s very sustainable income. I work the insurance business where you must be licensed by the state. There are so many work from home gigs now days. Start there
I am going through this now. Get a job with a child care center. That way you can get your son to school and your kids go to work with you. You will be off for the weekend and holidays with the children. And still be able to pay your bills. Good luck and God bless.
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People suck. This makes me so sad and is one of my biggest fear. Worse feeling is betrayal.
Step 1. Take some time to think it over. Reach out to family and friends.
Step 2. Arrange daycare/babysitters. Make a budget and figure out how much money you need.
Step 3. File for child and spousal support. Now.
Step 4. Get a job. There are a lot of at home jobs. As well as delivery jobs you can bring the kids along with.
Step 5. Always remember your worth. Just because it’s going to be hard for a bit- does not ever mean you should stay and settle for that disrespect and betrayal.
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I see a lot of go out and get a job …if you have a decent home and already have two littles why not start babysitting in your home for now? Saves you on the daycare and puts money in your pocket. Just check your state’s guidelines on the matter because some places you have to be licensed once you have so many children in your home (not sure if it includes your children in the count).
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Become a bus driver! Its such a rewarding job and your kids can ride with you so you dont have to pay for daycare. Also, youre off of work when theyre out of school. And its a fun job. I love it
Also, another possibility- if you dont have a degree or training- go crash with a friend or get an apartment and leave him with the kids and house for now. Re arrange custody when you can take over the bills again. 
I think that the best thing I could say to you is to get on your knees and ask God to lead your way. Then believe he will and God will.
Don’t do anything until you have a lawyer. Some of the advice in here is awful. Get a lawyer and they will advise you.
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Do you love your husband? Is he a good man?Has your life with this man been a good life? Did he make you and your kids happy? Remember everyone makes mistakes.No it is heartbreaking to go thru this I know but choose to keep my man and forgive him.And we have a good marriage. Be sure to think about every thing what you want the kids and most inportant how much you love each other BE SURE
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Just wanted to say I’m sorry that you are going through this. I’ve unfortunately been through it multiple times myself…it never gets easier but I started getting used to it at least. Good on you for leaving the situation, I think thats a smart move and will ultimately be best for you and your kids. You aren’t alone and of you ever need to vent, talk or just need a friend…my inbox is open:purple_heart:
Reach out to area churches too. I know some will help!
They are his kids too so split custody 50/50 or 70/30 whatever suits and u work when he has the kids and he works when u have kids, if he works full time then he pays childcare if he needs it so he can work on his set days. The cost and responsibilities of kids don’t all fall on u and make sure he pays 50/50 for the kids. Do not take him back as he will just take it as a pass to do this again and hide it better and u will always be suspicious of what he’s doing where he’s going ect. Be civil for kids ofcourse but don’t be a mug!
Sorry to read about your problem but it does happen so dont feel alone actually happens all the time why? I dont think no body really knows.are they board, unhappy or is there another cat out there tat they think is all that and willing to give there life up with you.So the first thing you half to do is change your attitude and dont put your self down.then you half to change the program for a while to suit you and the children.have family or friends help you with the kids to get to school and such and maybe get a renter in your house to pay the bills and cut back on thing you dont really need untill you get back on your feet.what ever you do dont dwell on the past because it will eat you up in side and do for the future.ive been threw it three time and if i can make it any one can just throw that word i give up out the door for it dont need to be there and always have a person you can talk to in times to work thing out for your self and your children and there organizations that can help you with bills and your children for you to seek a job but you half to ask and do alot of home work on what your option are.hang in there kiddo good luck on your journey.
You did the right thing. Go to social services they have programs to help you with food,medical care,finding a job ,child care,also if you have any family that still lives in the same town you might be able to help with child care until you can afford it.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. If he is gone somewhere else, don’t let him smooth talk his way back. Felt bad for the financial situation and let the sorry ass come back. Nothing has change for the better, it’s worse actually. Check into churches to help with Bill’s this month or 211. Move on with your life and show your children how to be treated by others. They are watching you. Don’t accept anything less than your expectations and keep moving forward, no matter how much it hurts. I wish I did and I didn’t let my heart overrun my head.
Stay strong my friend. Make a plan then take action. Its hard but single moms make and raise strong children to become our leaders.
You got this. Lots of stay at home jobs rn. You just gotta put the effort it. Some even buy you equipment. Start looking.
When you have time do go ahead and take a break for yourself. Feel what you gotta feel and do some extra self care. Start talking with a lawyer after that because they may be able to ease some of your financial stress worries with some of their solutions.
Most of all, don’t look back. You’ve got this and it’s not gonna be easy, and it’s gonna hurt like hell but you can do it
You and your children will be better because of it.
Don’t fold! Don’t let him come back to abuse you and disrespect you . You can do this!
Prayers and file for child support. You got this.
I would start talking to community advisors right now. Talk to DHS, local colleges or college you went to, church officials. You would be shocked at the amount of help out there.
For example- just at my college if you’re lower income they will help you out with daycare, well-paying jobs, and tuition.
All you can do is move forward, so I’d start looking at free daycare help- also if they’re 3 or older they can go to head start- which is state funded. So only 2 and under would need a daycare.
You can do it. Look in your area to see if there are any programs for single moms
Go get government assistance see if you can get childcare from them. Start applying for jobs.
I really hate social media 
Look up your state assistance programs! Most of them offer insurance and also assistance with bills AND childcare
First and foremost, it’s going to be OK. Yes it’s going to be hard in the beginning but you will find your way in time. File for Divorce and go for spousal support as you didn’t work and he fully supported the family. Maybe look into child care facilities that are in need of help you can enroll your younger kiddos in. Idk what state your in but in my state, you can just lock your cheating spouse out so make sure you are doing anything that could cause legal trouble for you. I left my ex with $0 and 4 kids and today I’m doing just fine. And so will you!
I’m gonna say this loud cause apparently some people need to hear this PEOPLE SHOULD NOT STAY TOGETHER FOR THE KIDS!!! THAT IS HORRIBLE ADVICE TO GIVE!! IT IS NOT HEALTHY FOR KIDS TO GROW UP IN A HOUSE WITH UNHAPPY PARENTS!! He cheated, even if it wasn’t physical, he cheated and she has every right to leave!! Good for you OP!! Kick his ass to the curb, you deserve better!!
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File for divorce and file for emergency family support from your husband through the courts.
I think it’s just sad . Your going through all this because he sent photoshop a lady somewhere else. I’d be mad but not so mad I’d put him out he hasn’t cheated . I mean take his phone lol make his ass pay them bills still .
Just be a fucking bitch and make him keep paying the bills. I have this old friend, her sister makes her baby daddy pay for everything after they broke up. 3-4 kids together. She makes him pay her rent and half her bills. 
Well there’s no easy advice you just do it you find childcare there’s resources call around look it up if Child Care get a job move in with somebody then get a place and just slowly but surely get it together because there are only going to do to you what you’re willing to put up with good luck we’ve all been there I’m sure I’m a mother of five a widow it could all be done
Girl go find you a waitressing job. Most restaurants will work with your schedule and you can make amazing tips if you find the right place
You did the right thing keep it moving babe!!
I would start with door dash or something where you can take the kids with you
Get a roomate , with the rent u charge it will help u with some cash flow…Get an attorney!!
Work it out. Forgive. Agree to delete the social media nonsense and move on… The reason why relationships don’t last anymore is because nobody wants to put forth the effort to work it out. You think our grandparents and great grandparents never cheated on eachother? They did, almost guaranteed. They just didn’t find out or they FORGAVE and moved on. Instead of throwing his stuff out, try sitting down and discussing what made him do it. If you can’t work through it, try marriage counseling… No, he shouldn’t have done it, he’s wrong for that, but it wasn’t in person, they never had intercourse. And I’m sure you aren’t perfect either- everyone has their flaws and secrets…
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I’m glad you got out. Most people stay and stay and stay until they become so depressed. It can be done, it’s hard I know. But you can find someone out there who will love you, your kids and not deceive you. Do not fall for his “it didn’t mean anything” “ I can change” BS. Stay strong you got this!!!