Contact your local foodstamp office and sign up for foodstamps. They will offer you other government assistance programs. They will help with college classes if you wish to do that. And will help you with daycare assistance
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First pray about it. Seek godly counsel maybe from your pastor or somebody
In that area sometimes relationships are doable. Not saying let people walk all over you. But seek counseling
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Apply for government assistance also try applying for work from home jobs. There is a group called customer service work from home jobs on Facebook. All members have or are working from home and all jobs posted there are legit not scams. Conduit, KellyConnect, transcom, Sykes, The Hartford, PNC bank, all hire work from home agents. As far as I know most are hiring. The first three ones provide equipment and there start dates are usually a month or so out so that gives you time to apply for daycare assistance or see if a family member can come over and sit with them. If you apply for chat jobs you can at least talk to the kids while working and keep a eye on them. Also get the divorce paperwork started and get alimony and child support that will help with income.
You’ve got this! Right now there are a lot of jobs that are work from home. Even if it’s part time, it’s something. You can always do Scentsy or Mary Kay to help bring in extra cash. Also call your local government assistance office and I’m sure you would qualify for help until you can get on your feet. You’ve got this 
See I feel like this was kind of rash personally. But I don’t know what the rest of your relationship is/was like. If nothing else you could just deal until you got some more money together. And don’t you now have his kid? 
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I had 2 kids under 2 when my ex cheated on me.I packed up and left.Had to live with my parents for a while but I finally found a decent job and got my own apt.It was hard to do at 19 but If I could do it so can u
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Apply for childcare assistance. You can do this.
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You can do this ! God will see you through one step at a time . Don’t make hasty decisions- think them through .
Immediately give yourself a minute to feel all the feelings, then start contacting lawyers, apply to all of the assistance you can, apply for jobs if you can, if you have any certifications see what it will take to get up to date if necessary be gentle with yourself and get into therapy so you have a safe space to process what’s currently happening and the process forward. There’s even virtual options now. Also for some quicker cash you could donate plasma. Having a boundary and enforcing it isn’t a hasty decision. You do what’s best for you and the kids Bc he sure didn’t give two shits about how it affected anyone.
Apply for government assistance. Lots of work from home jobs out there too. Check on indeed!
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A private sitter for the children like an older neighbor or family member would be cheaper, apply for snap food, do everything possible to cut the bills down (Electric, water, phone is most important to have) use atennea tv, conserve electric, dont eat out, plan meals, LOWER your PHONE bill . Use a food bank if necessary, is your car paid for? Add everythign up, it takes less than you think when you have to do it, good your home is yours, get child support for each of the childrens daddys
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To the people who are saying it’s possible to work on the relationship I say hell no
Let him take his nasty ass someplace else
i just went thru this - and its hard.
having that one friend, family member, or neighbor, will help you if you ask!!!
console into ONE person what just happened. that way, they can understand and really feel for you to help even more. my one friend knows Everything, and she flipped her whole life and kids life - just to help me.
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Apply for assistance and also apply for a work from home job that works with your schedule. There are tons available out there right now. A lot even provide equipment. That would allow you to still be there as needed for your kids, save in daycare and pay your bills.
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Sounds like you already made an important move to remove yourself from that situation. You got this mom, you are strong I can tell. Try to apply for child support ASAP and see if any of your family members can lend a hand.
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Sorry this happened but good for you for kicking him out. Child support will help and if he has any shred of decency, he should make a way for you to continue to be a stay at home mom. He ruined the plan, not you. You being home is their whole world right now, especially with all the other changes going on. They need you!! 
for strength. I hope you have a strong support system to help you. 
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I’m a financial service agent, message me. You can still be at home with your kids! We pay for your class to get certified. And help you get licensed!
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I would apply for assistance ASAP emergency assistance and if you need help paying bills they can help as well theirs different programs to help . As for work do you have any cousins or family that would help out maybe doordashing ?
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I’m so sorry you are going through this!! It seems like so much now because it’s uncomfortable finding a new routine but it will all fall into place. Try and find the positive in all that’s happening and chisel away at it one thing at a time and in a couple weeks or month from now you’ll realize it’s actually going smoother than you ever thought! It takes time and all adjustments do! Be patient with yourself and remind yourself you don’t have to figure it out all in one day! Prayers to you and your little ones!! You got this momma and you’re doing what’s best for you and your kids! Life is to short to be with someone who wants to waste your time and cause you pain! Huge positive is you sound like you know your worth, which is amazing! And you have made all the right moves so far! Most of all, you and the babies have the house which is a million steps ahead of most woman in your position! Count your blessings!
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first mostake was marrying someone who has snap chat…im sorry boo
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You have gotten great advice. I just wanna cheer your decisive action. Good for you!
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I was a single mom of 7. It can be done. HHS will help you.
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I wouldn’t change the locks most states have residency/renters laws meaning by law you have to give him time to move out. This is very serious it can affect everything that you want to do with your kids because if he goes to court or calls the police they will be on his side because of him paying bills their for years and it’s also his home of residence as well. Maybe you both should try counseling and get help for your problems. You caught him and I hope that he realizes the gravity of this situation and tries to make things right.
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Your better off without home. Get a custody order for the kids. Apply for social services. Get a little counselling for your own sanity. You’ll get the hang of it, there’s a lot of support groups out there
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Get a lawyer file for divorce with spousal support. Set up a custody order for the kids. Apply for child support. those are the priorities at the moment and go from there. I’m so sorry that this has happened to you. You got this girl!
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Child support and do u have any family that could help around
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Apply for legal aid lawyer go to Dhhr and apply for help and child care , IF YOUR SERIOUS ABOUT LEAVING.
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First of all you need the Lord and a great church family. Then develop friendships in neighbors and at events you can enjoy with your children. Sometime the long lonely nights are the hardest. That is when the Lord and friends help. Do not consider another relation ship until at least a years has gone by. Text if you need to talk.
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File for the divorce before he does. That is very important. That way you can get him on adultery and emotional damage
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ive done the same exact thing you did. Packed him up and changed the locks. But i had a job, and didnt need his financial support. Dont cut off your nose to spite your face in a fit of anger. Plot, organize, research, make a plan, set money aside, IF YOU ARE SERIOUS.
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I feel the same SAHM of two boys. I just finished applying for headstart for my youngest today. I’m hoping he gets it… it’s tough alone. But it’ll get easier, (I know) I’ve been doing it alone for 6 years.
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Get an attorney and file for alimony and child support. Get whatever help you can from the government, you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.
My best advice for you is to not give in. Stick to your guns because men like that will never change, it will only get worse. You got this!!
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Take care of kids in your home .Days and after school hrs.Work at home while caring for your kids.Get involved in Y WCA,Church,Scouts or PTA.Find other single Moms.You can do it.Many have survived.
Most states you can apply online for either and with no income and get it as soon as 5 days. See if family can help until you get things in line.
I agree with filing for divorce, alimony & child support and set up visitation. I’ve been there my heart hurts for you but you got this and will be on top in no time.
Kick him to the curb
As shitty as you feel right now the best thing I can tell you from my own experience is take your time and think things through… you’re running on pure emotions… think of your kids and put them first… this affects them as much as it affects us 
if you love him be patient and try counseling… I did and it was very hard at first but 4 months in and I’m starting to forgive (a little) I wish you the best… one day at a time momma…
So sorry you’re going through this. If you can learn coding, there are really good work-from-home jobs (the three languages to start with are HTML, C++ and Java Script), and there are tons of free learning materials. If you take the free trial month of Linked In Premium you can get certified in each one. Salary for a beginner, according to a relative in the field, is 60k, and a veteran makes like $150k.
Go to Social Services and apply for everything and find a lawyer asap. He will have to pay you and child support. It will all turn out good for you.
If this was his first time maybe you two should actually sit down and talk about what’s going on before making any decisions. A lot could factor into this. I’m not trying to stick up for him in anyway but you need to talk and see where his head is at.
People do make mistakes, it’s completely natural. It’s how we fix and handle the problem.
You will get through this, no matter how hard it seems, promise you that … and your worth so much more than a dirty cheater … And yes even if you haven’t been wearing make up lately or have put on weight, whatever … your better than him … all the best
Can you legally just change the locks?
Depends where you live. In the UK the government helps single parent families so you don’t have to work till they are 4 and in school.
So sad for you. Consider Christian counseling. It is your option but you the kids benefit from an intact family. If there was no physical infidelity you may heal faster. As to emptying the bank account regardless of how mad and hurt you are the courts may require that you give half of it back. Prayers.
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What you did was right alot of women don’t have the strength to do this. That is why their husband continues to cheat and run over them. Then years later when their broken they finally leave. If you want to save your marriage seek counseling but don’t let him back until then. Do not let him back because you feel you can’t make it on your own. There’s alot of programs that will help you. Stay strong plenty mom’s raise their kids on their own and are doing fine. It will be hard at first but you can do it.
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An emotional affair is more often than not worse than a physical affair, but it is in fact an affair so do not let anybody tell you different to try to change your mind.
I admire your strength because there are a lot of women who would just be too afraid to stand up to their partner in that situation. Indeed has a lot of really good jobs, Bank of America has several remote customer service positions that would allow you to be at home. Remote work has gotten less strict about having kids nearby with you because they realize that mother’s benefit from jobs like these. If you want to try to find a work from home position search the term remote work not work from home you’ll find nothing but scams if you use the term work from home
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One thing that’s for sure is that trust will never, ever be the same. Just thought you need to know that and know that you can do this!!! If you believe in God, pray to Him. He will help you through this.
((Hugs)) That’s brutal, woman! Keep reminding yourself that You can do this without him. You don’t deserve to be cheated on. You are stronger than you know! Keep focused on your skill sets… how they can convert to resources and what help is available to you. This is going to be hard… You’ll need friends and support. Most of all, hug those kiddos and Keep them close!
You got this!
Do you have the room and know someone well enough to take in a roommate? Not a random person but a close friend or relative?
Could you live with him platonically? I know of a few couples where they are no longer a couple but are roommates due to children and finances.
I just have to say that I’m proud of you. You did what’s best for you and the kiddos. Things will get better over time. Look for programs that can help you. Depending on the state there is programs that help with food and childcare an health insurance. And put him on child support immediately.
Good on you for putting your foot down, and ending things with him! Too many times this is a repeat thing.
Keep your head up and don’t look back. Once a cheat, always a cheat. Set an example for your kids. They’ll respect you, but even more you’ll respect yourself. I’m shocked by the comments in here that are siding with him, and letting that shit slide. When their significant other does it again (and they will), they’ll be crying about being a “victim” 
.
Stay strong. You got this…
So he flirted with a girl virtually and you’re going to allow that to destroy your family? Is it worth it? Like he’s not a good husband and father otherwise? Why is leaving the only option instead of couples therapy and addressing issues like you might need to connect more as a couple?
Haven’t been in that situation but.
Food stamps, WIC and Medicaid help alot and maybe you could find an online or on the phone work from home job.
Short and to the point : leopards don’t change their spots. Don’t give up happiness for security, not worth the price.
Grow strong…
Sometimes we go through things like this to remind us we deserve better/more. I’m really sorry. If you would like to PM me and we could figure out how to help you. I have been in just about every kind of situation possible so I could help research any help or anything you need. I could also simply just be here for you during this time
Stay strong. Take a moment to cry and push through it every day. You’ll manage, amazingly, Mothers always make it work. You were born strong and have the capability to handle this situation. It’s hard as hell in the beginning…its hurts for months. After the first year…it does get better, easier. I’m almost 4 years past my separation and am finally at peace. Still healing. Mine also had DV involved. It’s been a long road but I finally am thriving, stable, healthier, happier, and I don’t cry anymore. You’ll be okay. Don’t be afraid to apply for assistance or help. These programs were designed for these type of situations. Blessings and strength to you.
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What about your stepson that has been living in the house too?? Does he have a safe place with his mother to go?
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It’s so hard my daughter was 6 months old when I found out my ex was cheating on me he kicked me and my daughter out luckily I had my parents home to go to but honestly theirs no right or wrong way to feel your allowed to be hurt confused angry upset all I would say is its so hard to ever trust that person again I personally couldn’t go back with him and realised I deserved so much better only thing I would say is try and stay civil for the children and as long as he’s a good dad allow him to spend time with them and don’t punish him for his behavior in that way. Regarding money and childcare funding I know some areas have childcare schemes where if you earn under a certain amount you have an amount of free childcare hours. My inbox is open anytime you need to vent. Xx
Idk your kid’s ages, but maybe see if they could go to headstart. You can also apply for daycare assistance. You could start your own daycare in your home for income & to stay home with your kids, or have a family member move in to help out while you job search. You could get a female roommate who pays rent, preferably someone who works a stable job and just needs a place to sleep & eat. Definitely get assistance, and child support. If things are way too expensive, cut back a lot on whatever entertainment you have (streaming apps, types of phone service, etc), sell things you don’t need, & move to something more affordable. Good luck!
It’s going to be incredibly hard… But it will also be so much easier in other ways. I left my fiancé/father of my child a few months back and even though it’s soo hard and some days I feel like all I want to do is scream and cry… It was the best decision I ever made. I should have left him years ago, I should have NEVER let him treat me that way. You got this. You get to choose your hard and choosing to love yourself and choosing your needs is way way better than allowing him in your life. Also, you can probably afford the house and bills with child support (while also getting a job) and he will have to help out with daycare anyway. He made his bed, now he can lay in it. Should have treated you better.
I’m glad you are aware of your worth and are ready to pick up the pieces. Nobody should ever settle for someone who isn’t faithful. Take one day at a time and don’t look back. God bless you and your family. Best wishes for a fulfilling future.
Take care of yourself first so you are able to take care of the kids. Ask for help! Go to your county for assistance. Hang in there girl! It may hurt like hell but you are doing the right thing.
I think you’re brave and you already know you’re strong af. If this post was written about “how you wanted to stay and blah blah blah” it would he filled with comments saying to kick him to the curb. So do not listen to any of the negativity here! I’m happy for you. I would seek help (we call it DSS here) where they help with child care expenses. But since you are married they or you will most likely have to take your ex for child support. Otherwise there are lots of places hiring at home jobs. You just need to look and look. Make sure they’re legit. Look into insurance companies or home security places. First and foremost remember everything is possible. Just takes time and effort! Sending you love and support!
Sorry to hear your true story. Take care of yourself, you are important. You are doing right for you and children. Take care and be positive. Pray for yourself to be stronger everyday, pray for your children; they will be strong as long as you are strong too. God bless you with good health and happiness. You have a heart of gold for you and your children.
I had the same experience,but my husband begged for second chance and promise me,that he will do all to make things right,and never do it again…they also never had physical contact,but conversation was really unbelievable…He is chatting with this woman almost a year,while we are in LDR and processing my visa to come to him,I discovered it 3 months after arriving in his place,It is 7 months now,and I am still working on it,I felt like i get traumatized…But I can say he is doing his best to bring back my trust again…
First step is taking him to court and getting child support out in place, then look to see if there is any help available for single moms, like subsidies for childcare, benefit plans, and food stamps. It’ll all work out momma we always find a way to make it work for our babies!
You did the right thing for you and your kids! A cheater rarely changes his stripes but you my dear will ALWAYS have reason to question him. Forever. Better to make the clean break and try to work out being civil for the kids. Any of these other suggestions will help you financially until you get on your feet. Good luck, lady. YOU CAN DO THIS!!
I never suggested that she stay with him at all but counciling while going through this transition was not out of line. Bashing the father in front of children is detrimental to their well-being but sitting down as parents to discuss how to proceed with the divorce and raising the children as adults, teaches them far more than playing the blame game! I know because I did this when I split with my husband and my children thanked me for it when they were grown.
First of all you made the right decision. Second of all breath! Thirdly from a single mom who knows your now battles personally. For the kids in school see if your school district offers a before and after school program it’s far more affordable then daycare. As for the little ones see if any family or a friend or neighbor can help you. As for jobs that’s harder. But when you go to a job interview explain your situation with the kids and hopefully one will work with you.
Your first step is going to be seeing if through the state they have daycare assistance and get on a job program looking for work, so you don’t have to worry about the kiddos. The second is look into any and all kinds of assistance you can get until you get back on your feet. There is no shame when you need the help. Trust me. And nobody can find employees right now even at higher paying jobs so you have that in your favor. You got this woman. You did the right thing.
You received some good advice here. My two cents is for all the women out there who make their man their everything, leaning on him financially 100 percent while staying home - stop doing that, get an education, a side hustle, a stream of income, no matter how small, and save, save safe. Keep a separate account, and even if you have no income on your own and he gives you grocery money- use coupons and Save a little each visit. Don’t be so dependent on a man that you lose who you are and you feel stuck.
You go girl. Seriously. If he’s doing that he won’t stop. I don’t understand these women saying otherwise.
States have a program to pay for daycare. While you look for work and working. They also have other assistance until you get on your feet. Get child and spousal support. It’s hard but you can do it!
Deciding to be brave enough to know your worth is the first step.
You are amazing for doing that.
Not all of us are that brave
I’m so sorry . Definitely put him on child support im not sure of what the rules are and it probably varies by state but I have heard that if the spouse earned more money than you they may have to pay alimony so maybe check into that too. Also look for remote work. Good luck mama you got this 
Could open up a day care. So many could use a place for swing shift and night shifts to watch there kids. Being willing also for weekends holidays a big plus too. Let alone day shifts too. Maybe also someone that also has a child going to your sons school could take him to and from school with there own child.
Get licensed and open a daycare? Contact your local dcf and they can help for awhile till you get started. Best wishes momma, it isn’t easy and its painful, but you will recover and you deserve better!
See if the school is hiring for the lunch room or for office help. It probably wouldn’t be the best pay but you could get help with daycare for the kiddos not in school and you could be home when your school aged kids are home.
You’ve already tackled the hardest part of your situation by making the choice to leave him. GOOD FOR YOU! It’s not going to be easy but each day you’ll find a little more strength. There are resources available, you’ll have to put in a little work to find and apply for any and all assistance programs available but it can be done. Try calling 211 they’ll be able to direct you to programs in your area. Good luck!
He kicked you down …now its up to you to stand back up adjust your crown and stand on your own 2 feet . You can do it! Check programs in your area or even work from home jobs . Best Wishes to you
Ok, so I’m in the minority, but have you even considered counseling? Every affair has an origin story, so counseling together, as well as counseling for each of you separately… A marriage will never be perfect. It takes tons of work. I can tell you from experience that you can get back to happy. You can get back to trust. You can get back to respect and love. It takes time, and work, which most people don’t want to do. It’s up to you, though. Grace is hard to get, and hard to receive. If there is any love left, I would suggest thinking about it, at the very least. Pm me if you need to talk.
Oh honey I’m so sorry apply for any and all state help you can get immediately including daycare assistance, find a job that’s mon-fri or find someone you trust to watch them weekends. You CAN do this I promise you!! It’s not gonna be easy definitely not easy but you can do it my love!!!
Keep your head high. Do u child support? If he is any kind of man he will give u support for his 2 kids. Do not be to proud to ask for help go to your local place and apply for food stamps. Yhey can also help u find a job and ? Help with child care start there first. Remember keep your head up he needs you more than you need him show him that and keep moving forward!!-- Good luck
Get alimony and child support and take whatever financial assistance is out there, don’t be too prideful, that’s why it’s there
Don’t take him back. You may want to and think it’s better for your kids and family, don’t! Be strong.
You are stronger than most of us. You are doing the right thing. He doesn’t deserve such a clear minded person
File legal separation or an actual divorce so that you can begin receiving funds from him to begin a separate life from him. You are not stuck. Do not feel guilty or bad for having him support you financially, this comes with the consequences of cheating in a marriage that he will need to feel not you or the kids.
Take him to court, he has to pay you alimony and child support - especially if the breakdown in the relationship was caused by him being unfaithful
This is why being a SAHM is a huge risk! I’m so sorry this happened. Kick him to the curb! There are good ones out there. Hugs!
Great job sticking to your boundaries and packing up
His stuff. I wish I would have had that strength the first time my husband cheated. Because, once they cheat, they’ll continue cheating and disrespecting you. Don’t take him back. There are lots of remote jobs available that will let you work from home.
Apply for assistance, food stamps, help with light bills. Also see if you can get a work from home job, until you find something better. Put him on child support!
You got this mama!! I did something similar just shy of a year ago. There are lots of online jobs you can start there. As someone else said, apply for food stamps and other government assistance. Cash aid is good too. Use it as it should be used, to help you get on your feet. Start paperwork for child support and custody.
I had friends that really helped me out, I’m sure you do too. I know it’s hard, but reach out. I never really understood the “it takes a village” until I became a single mom. Your friends and family are your village.
I’m sorry you are going through this. You are strong enough and you can do this. As for income try your local school bus company or any close to you. Alot of places let you take your kids along now and the pay is pretty decent most places. Many places also train you and pay for your cdl. Some even have paid training. Once the kids are in school you can always take that cdl and do something else if school bus isn’t your thing. Also try for Medicaid, food stamps, WIC ect. There is alot of help out there. Pm me if you like. Good luck and I will be sending prayers your way.
I 100% get this my girls dad left for a women he was cheating with on internet
I’ve never been through it, but see if your state has child care assistance! They will pay for child care while you work. Maybe see if any daycares do transports for kids in school.
Apply for everything. Food stamps, medicaid, child support etc. You should have a state website that tells you how to apply.
First of all, can I applaud you, deserving of a standing ovation, for having the courage to do what so many of us have not! I really want to acknowledge that for you, because that’s a huge step and deserving of the praise.
As for everything else, I don’t know where to guide you because I wouldn’t know how to process what just happened AND move forward so quickly, I would barely function. But please look into local women and children’s organizations that help get back on your feet and direct you in the best way possible.
Good luck and bravo!
You will get thru this, and in a few years, you will be so glad you stood up for yourself.
There is a lot of help for a single parent. Check with family services for food stamps, medicaid(he should have insurance on the children though), some states have day care assistance. Check into work at home jobs as well. You can do it! I did.
Y’all saying she wrong for putting him out for virtual cheating. Y’all wrong if he’s doing it over the phone what’s your say he hasn’t already done it for real or will do it for real? He’s already talking to woman outside of his marriage. I say you did the right thing for you good job girl. And as far as daycare you can get on DHS assistance they will pay for daycare while you work. Get child support. GOODLUCK
Been there and I’m sorry it sucks! You’ll get through it and realize how tough you actually are!!!