She has been such a good, respectful kid up to age 9. This past year has been HORRIBLE. We have a 3year old and a 1 year old so mom and dad are very busy making everyone happy on top of working full time jobs. Her attitude is SO BAD towards everyone in the house to the point where no one wants to be around her, we dread when she comes home from school Bc it starts 5min later. Says ‘I don’t care’ when u threaten her with having her stuff taken away or always calling parents mean or rude when u tell her to do something. She will always talk about about any little thing. Lately she’s been getting into the 3 year olds face yelling at her when three year old takes something. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE with the disrespect, always talking back. She also goes through this thing where she has to yell or jump out of nowhere and I ask her why she does that and she says she just has to, she can’t control it. It will stop for a little while and then do it months later again. Is this just a phase or is there something wrong with my kid I am thinking of bring her to a doctor but which doctor ? Is the only answer medication ? Heard stories where kids turn to drugs when they are on ADHD or other similar meds . Or does she need therapy ? We provide them with a good life, they have the things they need and want, we go places, we have family around, they live good lives, where did I go wrong
Maybe try sitting down and talking to her… Do things with just her… It seems like a cry out for help and attention.
Take her Electronics if she has them if she can’t respect you she don’t need them. Take things she’s like away…
Let her throw her fit… cause at the end of day she needs yall she knows this…
But if continues I’d seek some behavior counseling for her…
Is something going on at school? Maybe this is a cry for help?
sending love mama!
She may have turret’s which often comes with other form of autism. If she is on the spectrum her life may be too much for her in different aspects I would definitely start with a mental health evaluation and then go from there. Maybe talk to her more as well. I know it’s allot with a 1 and a 3 year old I’m doing it currently and I couldn’t imagine trying to find time to also pay attention to another child my oldest already misses me so much. You gotta remember it was just her for 6 whole years and then in the past 3 she’s had to give up most if not all her quality time as well as going into puberty. Hormones suck I got my first period at 10. Just slow down a bit it is hard but you’ll never get these years back. Appreciate everything even the arguments because theres always something to be learned and one day you’ll look back and laugh. It’s okay to loose your cool sometimes too you’re still a good if/when it happens. Good luck momma 
Whew Lord… 
1st, talk to the Dr. Have all her hormones and vitamins checked. After, therapy. And I mean weekly… Either you find our what’s up or expect your 3 yr old to learn this is ok.
Personally, I’d take everything. She’d have a bed, school stuff and clothes. No tv. No devices. No gaming stuff, nada. She wouldn’t be around the younger children alone. Chores and homework wouod be her life. If you can do what you have to, you don’t get to do what you want.
Start with her pediatrician. Talk to her teachers, see if anything is going on in school as well. Be aware of anything she may be watching (kids friendly shows aren’t as kids friendly as they used to be). And maybe consider getting her into an extracurricular activity where she can burn off that extra energy if she isn’t in one already. And set up a momma and me dinner. Maybe she just needs one on one time
I have an 8yo boy. I read that children around this age go through this change from younger child to older child and the hormones are harder than puberty’s for some kids handle. My sons behavior is awful but I’ve been trying my best to keep myself and everyone else calm to try and work out what’s bothering him. Also school is exhausting, there’s some times my boys get home and you can just tell they’ve had a busy day. Self care and mental health care is important at all ages.
Maybe she can sense the feelings you have of her dreading coming home so she is acting out worse. Kids can sense things and are way smarter then given credit for. Kids need one on one time. Take her on a mom and daughter day out! If your budget allows go get nails painted together. Or make a lunch and have a Picnic. Yes call her pediatrician as well. Sit and talk with her and remind her you love her and want to know what is going on with her.
Going straight to spanking is not going to solve it. So don’t use no damn belt like that comment on here. If you just spank every time do you really think she will feel safe coming to you? NO.
TALK TO HER. Love on her. Kids will act out when they need attention.
She’s ten years old. It’ll get worse.
Put her ass away. Put her in a group home or something that will teach her
Well back in the good old days when you were actually allowed to discipline your child you take her over your knee and spank that ass. I have grown babies now and am a nana and I will still spank that when needed… That’s why these kids now a days don’t understand respect. Talking about my grandson…
Sounds like she’s about to start puberty. I got my first period at 9. Those hormones are rough, especially for someone young that doesn’t understand why they are feeling out of control. I would check in with her doctor. Idk but maybe there’s a blood or urine test they can do to see how close she is.
She may have a bully at school or someone she trusted abused her. Something happened to wh here she wants others to hurt and be scared just like she is.
Sounds like she experienced trauma of some kind…I’m not accusing you, I get a good feeling from your post…I’m a survivor of domestic violence in adulthood
Ask her what’s going on, take some time of ur busy schedule and sit w her and have a conversation with her. Pamper her and hug her she’s still a little kid. Find out who the friends are at school. She spend the majority of time there and she might be influence by friends. Ask the teacher of behavior. Sounds like she’s jealous of the time y’all spending w the small kids and I understand the little ones tend to have more attention cause they are not as independent but do not neglect the older ones.
Sounds hormonal… my daughter started her period early. Or she’s jealous of the young kids. Take her out to lunch ask questions. Maybe someone is picking on her.
In addition to folks recommending seeing a pediatrician, monitor her sleep and have it assessed if needed. Im a sleep technologist and i see a LOT of kids in my labs. MANY are misdiagnosed with ADHD and truly have sleep deprivation or undiagnosed sleep apnea. My child had similar behaviors at 8, i had a study done-he has mild apnea and was severely low in Iron, which caused him to have frequent limb movements. Both of these things interrupted his sleep. Fixed those things and his behavior did almost a 180.
Sounds like a cry for help/attention. Maybe once a week when possible take her by herself and you and dad spend one on one time with her. Its difficult to hassle everything but it’ll come through.
Find a good child therapist. Look for recommendations in your area and let her have someone she can turn to for a safe space and objective support. A good therapist will help your daughter gain the life skills needed for healthy mental well being & teach her the language she needs to tell you what she isn’t telling you now.
She’s a spoiled brat there’s no adhd just whoop her lil behind and see how fast she straightens up. Parents nowadays want to label their kids with bad behavior
Talk to your doctor on this. It may be a behavioral issue but you need to rule out medical concerns first.
My 7 year old went through something similar, although not nearly as extreme.
He was literally my sweetest kid. Never got in trouble. Was quick to say sorry. Rarely threw a fit. Hugging everyone all the time.
Seriously so sweet.
He was SO EXCITED to start kindergarten last year. He was excited to go everyday.
Halfway through the school year something changed. I think something happened at school, but I have no idea what. He can’t think of anything. His teacher didn’t see anything.
He started having severe anxiety. He never wanted to go to school. He will be totally fine one minute and having a major fit the next.
I was able to recognize that he wasn’t just being naughty. He literally was having panic attacks.
It absolutely broke my heart. He started missing some days of school because I couldn’t talk him out of the anxiety and I refused to send him in the middle of a full blown panic attack.
I have to stay very calm with him when he starts to melt down. Getting upset makes it so much worse for him.
I’ve been using energy therapies on him and they seem to be helping. As well as hypnotherapy. It works amazing.
It’s so sad and frustrating to have them change so dramatically and not know why or how to help them.
As for the outbursts, I have a niece who would scream randomly and couldn’t ever concentrate. It turns out she has ADD and those are some of the symptoms. They put her on medicine after trying everything and it dramatically helped her.
I would definitely get your child some sort of help. A drastic change like that is either a major hormone change or trauma related.
Could be hormones related we all no how it can affect us and also she is coming into that age range my friend daughter started hers at 8 years old so it could be her body adjusting to try and have a period
You ever think that maybe she is doing it for attention? She may be feeling lonely and left out.
Awwww….honestly that’s just a teenager 
my daughter is 15 and sometimes goes through crazy shit. I understand, I was kind of like that as well, except I didn’t have anyone to talk to, my parents, just no. My daughter knows she can come to me with literally anything because I told her she can. I said, “drunk at a party? Feeling too sick and crazy?”, call me. “You feel like you’re ready to have sex? Please talk to me first because I want you to have all safe options. I know there’s nothing I can do if she really wants to do something lol I just hope a d pray that she reaches out to me me and takes my advice. I really have a smart one. We’ve had serious conversations since she was little. When she was 2.5 her dad passed in an auto accident. When she was 5, her baby sis passed from SIDS. She’s very sensitive and emphatic. Anyway, my daughter, while she does sometimes disrespect me ( she is 15 btw), all I got to do is look at her crazy and ask “what did you say”, all crazy and shit and she caves lol my child is seriously stronger than me, but I don’t tolerate disrespect. Ever. At all.
Why does everyone jump to ‘trauma’ ‘abuse’ ‘needs phycological help’ .
I’ll be the unpopular one here. She’s 9 years old. Therefore it’s an asshole age. Hormones are kicking in and the brain is going through a development AND they’re humans who have a mind of their own. Asshole age. Ride it out and get better handling skills.
This is very typical behaviours for a 9-10 yr old and if your daughter is starting to have the change she will just get even more challenging.
Before a paediatrician I would have open communication with the school and find out how she is in class and as a whole as a student.
Then I would set 10mins aside each night per parent where she can just off load and you just actively listen to what she is saying. Make sure her behaviour is not thrown in her face. Having two siblings is hard and a big adjustment especially when she has gone from being an only child. Please stop to consider how she feels about the changes made around her without anybody consulting her first.
Then after a month of doing this set time aside where she gets a chance to actually be a big sister and let her choose an activity that she can teach her siblings. The catch is to allow her to be in control and has a freedom of choice ( obviously something safe ).
I would make sure you have some blood work done to check iron levels etc especially if she is due for the change she may need increased nutrition.
If her sleep is effected set a new bed time and see how she goes with melatonin.
I would also try her in some team sports and allow her to build connections up outside of the family home so she can see she is not the only one who feels hard done by with having siblings and horrible parents.
Please know your not alone and if you start the work with her now it will pay off.
Ten years ago I would have told you to do all these amazing parenting tips but after the past six years I’ll tell you one thing. Welcome to parenting a hormonal preteen
My daughter was 9.5 when her brother was born and it was pretty hard from 5th-8th grades. My son is now 9.5 and it’s been a very hard year too. They both hit puberty around this age.
My momma would have knocked me into next week, I knew better than to act like this. I got my ass beat if I even thought about showing it. Sometimes kids need to know there are consequences to their actions.
You dread her coming home? Perhaps she feels that. Children sense much more than they are given credit for. Chemical restraint (medication) would be the very last thing to happen if it were me. IMO, people use that as the first line, rather than getting to the bottom of it.
Kids are little humans LEARNING how to be big humans!
We cannot expect them to be perfect ALL the time when we ourselves are no where near perfect probably most the time for some. She is having fluctuations in her hormones. Her life is changing, what probably seems like rapidly to her. She was an only child for 7 years then bam little sibling then bam little sibling again.
“She been HORRIBLE for the past year” for the past year almost 2 years we’ve been dealing with C19. Im sure her schooling was completely uprooted, everyone was panicking and in fear, maybe there was even a loss in her life. I’m sure she was told you HAVE to wear this mask to stay safe while everywhere you look their talking about rising death numbers but no one is talking to her so she’s left to try to understand the world, the fear and the death as a 9 to 10 y.o. child all by herself.
That can be hard to cope with. You say she yells at the 3 y.o. when the 3 y.o. takes something, is the 3 y.o. also being reprimanded for taking things? Are we only disciplining the reaction and not getting to the bottom of where the reaction came from? If she’s always getting in trouble when she has emotions she’s going to keep having emotions that will turn into anger. You say you are dreading her coming home, she 10 y.o. a child and whether you say something or not she can most definitely feel the dread and that is absolutely heartbreaking. She’s hurting, probably feeling unwanted and unloved. Maybe even replaced (especially if the reason for the gap in ages is due to a different relationship with a different man, now I’m just speculating on that part).
You need to love her, bring back her joy. She needs to know she is not replaceable. Go on a mom and daughter date just the 2 of you. Get to know her again because she is changing, as we all do and it’s hard, especially as a child. Be authentic with your love don’t make it feel forced or like you don’t want to be around her. When you go on the date don’t bring up the other 2 kids or the husband/dad? Don’t shop for them. Don’t say oh we have to get back because ____ has this or that. Clear the day and your mind for just her.
You say you’ve given her a good life, the kids have everything they need and want, what all kids want the most is love, compassion and understanding. Material things don’t mean anything to a hurting child.
I wish you both all the luck, love and understanding.
This will pass. I went through it with my daughter 3 yrs ago and she’s went back to normal , thank god. I would cry myself to sleep every night and I tried my best not to hate her. It just takes time.
My 10 year old son has ALWAYS been an angel. Literally.
Until he hit 10 and he is now Mr attitude and “I like being rude to everyone”. He has the I don’t care attitude aswell. Im sure it’s just them going through a stage. They are getting older now 
Have you thought about maybe she is just trying to seek your attention? If your always busy with the younger kids maybe it’s the one on one time and the attention she misses? Also when you threaten to take things away are you actually following through with this to initiate punishment? If you threaten to do it and not actually do it that can lead to her not caring.
Ever tho she got her hormones early and starting puberty. They can’t make sense of her own those and feelings yet, never mind explain them to us. My daughter started puberty at 9. Best thing you can do is take expectations down a little. Try have quite time with her to talk thro her actions and what you can both do to minimise her distress.
Sounds like resentment from so much time spent taking care of the little ones. Maybe sit aside some time to do little day dates with mom doing girl stuff like shopping or go to a nail appt. one on one could help a lot. See really seems like she’s seeking any kind of attention that she can get.
Please don’t jump to medication 
She needs some 1 on 1 time with parents. Organize for the little ones to be babysat and have a mummy daughter morning at the weekend go get your nails done together! Just spend special time with her. She needs to feel important too. It’s not going to get fixed overnight bug over time. Make it a regular thing. Something she can look forward to wherein about her and you.
Pop that lip real good , she will shut up then…my mom did it to me…I didn’t talk back
My 9 year old has been a breath of fresh air her whole life… until 9-almost 10… this has been a rough few months with responding to the attitudes and behavioural responses you speak of also. So I am hoping this is very common for the age and the typical pre teen hormone in fluctuations and pray it passes soon and my sunshine returns. Xx .
Aww give her a hug it’ll make a difference
Its a phase. 9 is a horrible time with girls.
Mine drove me nuts from approx 9-11…
Give her love… And a journal to write down her feelings.
I went to counseling and groups when raising my 2 grands…they said children will go through so many stages but it’s how you approach h them…aways make sure there is no underlying problems…then let them know you know how they feel what they’re going through…name the feelings…etc…takes patience but wort it. Just remember the stages don’t last forever
Does she have anything of her own? Sports? Horseback riding? If your area has a ymca they are great for families
Sounds like my 4year old after school 
xx
Sounds like my daughter every bit the screaming and the phrases and she to comes from a good home both parents don’t blame yourself , my doctor diagnosed her with anxiety bloody covid kicked it off also she’s 13 now hormones didn’t help either
If you have TikTok follow @quietlyberserker
I can totally relate! But I feel like this is typical for the age. Her body preparing for puberty and her hormones ever changing
Welcome to hormones they’re awful they don’t get better and wine just sometimes Isn’t enough. From a suffering mum mum of 2 girls 16 and 12 years
You said it yourself ur workin fulltime and busy with the 3yr old and 1yr old shes alot older and obv dont need ur help as much but maybe shes feelin left out? Try fix that bond first and if not then seek help
Not that i think there is anything wrong with your kid. She sounds like a normal 9yr old who’s trying to compete for attention with much younger siblings BUT that said, more often than not drug issues in teens and adults is due to un-medicated/un-treated mental issues or trauma. NOT from actually getting treatment for adhd
Therapy is a good first step, some of it is just attitude and and learning curve for you to nip it in the bud, if she’s in meds check in with her doctor to see if they’re still working, and spend time with her. To be 9 and know that nobody wants you around has gotta suck! That kind of favoritism is relationship killing.
It sounds like she just wants attention and love. You react to when she misbehaves so that’s what she will keep on doing because you give her attention at that moment. Don’t put her on medicine. Try taking her out to do something that she wants to do… but just her. Give her your undivided attention.
Could be hormones or its the time spent with the other siblings, she may feel left out even bad behaviour gives her your time, can you not just have set aside time for just you and her and if she behaves keep it as a treat time, even just going to the park, movie times and snacks it dont require money its about her feeling she has her own mummy time, she may not even know why shes angry
Good luck
Sounds like therapy would be really really helpful. She’s clearly struggling and taking things away isn’t going to work.
Sounds like she has ticks and she doesn’t know what is going on, I would be seeing your doctor for a referral of assessment. Possibly Tourettes?
Oh god smh🤦🏻♀️ sounds like she’s sick of not having things for herself, making everyone happy clearly does not extend to the 9 year old. My mother always used to have a go at me for my “attitude” the bond has gone, I’m 25 now and do not need that noise. Kids will turn to drugs because they have terrible parents and that’s how they choose to escape. Biggest load of shit I’ve ever heard, ADHD medication does not make you start taking drugs. What she needs is a better parent who’s going to see why she’s actually acting out and solve the problem, rather than just throwing tablets at her or making her go to therapy
Hey you haven’t done anything wrong…firstly try and find out of something is going on at school…like is she being bullied and coming home and taking it out on you and the little ones…but trying to deal with it her self…just a idea, also she at that time she may be on point of seeing mother nature…it’s just getting her ready so to speak…I have a ten year old and she’s very up and down…but she don’t get in my children’s faces…I would try and let a family member have the little ones on a afternoon and meet her from school and take her for a milk shake or something or tea out and spend time and try and find out what’s up…but to me something is up…she just may need that time out. Keep us posted your doing great x
My 5 year old does this just recently thou
I would make a point to spend time with her on the weekend after the little ones go to bed and Play a board game or something with her. After a couple weeks if things havent changed, I would talk to her doctor. It doesn’t sound like adhd (my son has adhd) but it does sound like attention seeking behavior or just boredom. Personally, I think therapy is a great resource for anyone (mental illness or not) it can help work through stress of daily life/school and teach us how to appropriately express/ process feelings. I don’t think taking her stuff away will help in this situation but she should be told that her behavior is not ok. Do yall ever do activities/play with all of the kids together? She may not know how to interact with her siblings appropriately because of the age difference and just wants to be included.
Should end when she’s around 17 I would say. Mine is nearly that now and just starting to come good! (Touch Wood) Only another 6-7 years to go for you. 
She was good until you were too busy to see her. One younger sibling. Ok two parents two kids deal. Now there’s three kids and only two adults. Less time for her because she’s independent and doesn’t need someone to do everything for her.
Get her to dr maybe there is medical prob?? I was a difficult teenager too. Im not saying let her get away with this behaviour but if you are ever arguing over sm things maybe meet her halfway. Alot of bad feeling came out of me over mom picking at what i wear everyday. Im not saying you did anything wrong just some kids need understanding whether you understand or not(as parents we dont understand sometimes) but their wants/soul are important to kids. Maybe there are small battles that arent worth fighting with her per your relationship with her right now. I feel like pandenic was/is hard on lotta kids too
A wise woman once told me : you can heal any relationship by spending time with them, doing what they want 20 minutes a day.
Why would you treat for ADHD? She’s obviously screaming for attention the only way she knows how. Give her some scheduled, undivided attention. Teach her how to get your attention in a good way. Poor kid.
The yelling and jumping out of nowhere seems to me that she’s screaming for attention, quite literally. Instead of taking her to a doctor, maybe try taking her out for a surprise Mother/Daughter day with just the two of you as soon as she gets home from school one day. She was an only child for 5-6 years and I’m sure you have been a lil busy with pregnancy and babies the past few years, I think she really just misses you and feeling your animosity toward her probably just adds on to it. Worth a shot.
You’re creepin up on puberty. Hormones rule all.
Welcome to the preteen years. I’d get her a therapist and try and get one on one time with her. But if she needs medication, listen to the doctors. Any drug has the possibility to become a gateway drug. But does not mean it’ll automatically happen. If used correctly it’ll be help rather than harm.
She needs an attitude adjustment.
Therapy please it could be something happened she won’t tell and she needs guidence.its not always that wY but what could it hurt.and do a weekend with just her.go to a motel and wTch movies or whatever her likes are.kids always have a reason even if it’s a non important.its important to them.bulling there’s tons of things it could be.just saying.praying for you all
Sounds like your kid is a normal arsehole like I was. Make sure you’re showing your love and she’ll grow out of it hopefully
Spend more time with her alone, one on one time. Talk to her and find out what’s really going on. Hurt people hurt. Seems like she’s needing some attention . She’s acting out for a reason.
When you threaten a child. You need to go through with your threats. Otherwise a threat is a broken promise. Also. Spanking your child is not illegal (maybe it depends on the state you live in…in Michigan it’s legal) Beating them is. But a good ol fashion spanking. Pop her on her ass. Blind side her. She won’t know what to do.
Everyone that says seek counseling must not have ever raised a daughter. I have raised 2 and have a 5 year old daughter. It sounds like she will be hitting puberty soon and her hormones are changing. This is normal behavior when changing of their bodies happen. Set some rules like you don’t yell at your siblings. If she does, send her to her room. If she jumps, who cares- what is she hurting. Not every weird behavior needs therapy or a diagnosis or medication.
Could something have happened to trigger her acting out? Finding a family therapist for you both might help. A kid acting out doesn’t mean you’ve gone wrong. Anything could have caused this. Something at school, or just hormonal or mental health changes. Sounds like you’re a good and concerned parent. You’ll both be okay. They don’t stay little forever
Try gentle parenting. She lashes out because you lashed out on her when something bothered you.
Appears to be seeking attention? Good or bad, she’s getting it, the only way she knows how. She was an only child and now has 2 younger siblings. Positive praises for the littlest things may help also.
I have no idea about your personal situation but I’m going to ask you to take a step back and look at it from a different point of view.
She’s the oldest. Is she being asked to do more than a child her age should be? Is she being given “parenting” responsibilities to the younger kids? Is she being equal time with mom and dad?
She may feel overwhelmed from responsibility. She may resent the younger kids because she has to care for them instead of someone caring for her. She may feel like the only way to get attention is to misbehave.
She may be your oldest, but she’s just a baby herself.
Screaming for attention yes. That combined with prepubescent hormones.
Quality time, yes. 
Talk to her pediatrician, yes.
She is seeking attention she gets attention from you guys when she is acting bad so she is why she acts that way any attention for her is good since the little one. Require more she don’t u derstand it explain it but spend time just you and her her. Dad and her make a. Day all abt her and see if it changes
Put your self in her position. You don’t see the person you love almost all day. Then you come home exhausted and you can tell that the people you live are annoyed by you. You can feel that they dread your presence… the people that are suppose to give you unconditional love don’t show any patience and care. Like many have said, spend some time with her… go on a walk around the block. Just you and her. Maybe put the babies for a nap when she is out of school, then complete some chores with her. But most of all have patience. She is dealing with things that she can’t find words for. It wont change in one day. You have to give it time. Don’t give up.
I have 4 kids each with there own issues, 3 been on meds most of there lives. They’re. 17, 20 and 21. Meds don’t turn into addicts. Here’s what a therapist once told me: if your in a place where your child needs meds don’t deny them because it’s giving them there life back. Imagine being locked in a room and not being able to get out, that’s how mental illness is. I fought it too.
Do you spend enough one on one with her. She was the only kiddo for 7 yrs and all of a sudden there’s two more littles.
To the ones saying she needs discipline obviously don’t have pre hormonal girls. Mom of 4 girls here. Your daughter is looking for your attention. Instead of wanting to take her to the doctor, take her out to lunch. Just you 2.
I’m sorry Momma, but she isn’t the “problem.” Look at her environment. You said it, you guys are busy and there are two little ones. When she’s having a hard time you take stuff from her AND the three year old takes stuff from her. If that were MY environment I would be enraged as well.
Take a look at Mindful Parenting. Great advice and resources.
I would personally take some time to ask how she is feeling. Ask how YOU can make her happier. Apologize for things you need to apologize for. The work is on you, not a Dr for an ADHD diagnosis to just medicate her into submission.
It honestly sounds like she just wants some attention
She may be going through early puberty, the difference is we have had time to understand how to deal with these emotions. I say this because my 9 year old is going through the same thing. I had to look it up to see what it could be. She just needs time to herself and for you to be patient with her and talk to her about her feelings. Make her feel important, let her take a bubble bath all to herself, take her for some one on one time and let her talk to you about anything. I know its hard I am a mom of three myself! You got this!!
“No one wants to be around her, we dread when she comes home” You think she doesn’t pick up on that? She’s doing these things for attention. Make it a point to spend one on one time with her weekly, guarantee you will see an improvement. She’s just starving for attention, like she had all on her for 5 years.
It could be her hormones, I can remember when youngest daughter was 9, I thought I was going to lose my mind. We started noticing that it was happening monthly around the same time. She did this for almost a year before she started her period.
Talk to her pediatrician. My daughter is 11 and she’s had similar issues the past 2 years. Her pediatrician said it’s a combination of screen time, lack of sleep, diet, hormones, and Covid.
Kids are going through so much right now and they don’t know how to process their emotions like adults do. It’s hard enough to deal with hormones changing and life in general, then you add a pandemic to that and kids are getting overwhelmed.
My advice is to limit screen time, make sure she’s eating healthy, put her on a low dose of melatonin if she’s having trouble sleeping, and just be there for her. Give her some personal space (not too much because we live in a messed up world) and let her know you are there to listen and that she is a priority.
Hello. If this has been happening for a year it may have something to do with the birth of your 1 year old or something could be happening at school such as bullying and she is projecting it onto others. Don’t threaten her with taking things actually do it! If you don’t follow through with punishment it will get worse.You may want to start with the school psychologist first.
She is around the age to start puberty its most likely her hormones that she can’t understand or control
I have a son around the same age and he is the same way… even acts hostile with my 2 year old… talk to her pediatrician about it and with your concerns therapy will probably help…
Kids who have a oroblem that goes unchecked, and who are not medicated when they need are the ones who end up having problems with drugs. They often self medicate with them in an attempt to manage their issues. Talk to your pediatrician and try spending some extra time with her.
So hormones start to shift anywhere from a year to two years prior to menstruation.
The hormone rise, can cause anxiety and things to present itself.
Now, I could be wrong, I’m not a doctor, just a mom with a very similar experience that started when my daughter was 8.5.
She went from sweet, caring and just overall an absolute joy. To me feeling the exact same way you are now. And that killed me. Not that she was acting out. But that I felt like I didn’t like my child. I loved her always. But I didn’t feel like I liked her anymore. Fast forward. We tried therapy, the therapist was awful and constantly twisted concerns and made things worse, as she was inconsistent & always on vacation. We stopped therapy. Things got better. For a while.
This year, age 10, things resurfaced again. DX: add/adhd, anxiety, depression & ODD. we started strattera. & while it isn’t a cure all, I have noticed she feels more sorted.
At their age, they don’t always know why they do things. So instead of focusing on the WHY they’re doing something. Focus on the HOWs and WHENS. How does she seem to feel when she’s doing things? How can YOU help her?
While a lot of ten year olds can still struggle with expressing emotions verbally, they almost ALWAYS know what’s going to make them feel more secure, more centered. Ask her. Explain to her how her behavior is impacting others and ask her how you can help her. Discuss other outlets for frustration(art, music, screaming into a pillow, coming to parent for a hug to feel calm)
Try to find ways to get her to express herself and let her know, her feelings are ALWAYS valid (even if you think she’s being ridiculous) let her know her FEELINGS are ok but sometimes, her actions aren’t and that you need to work together to get better. Ask her what she thinks will help. Therapy, medication, a combination of both. discuss options for her with her. Or if she just needs more one on one parent time.
I hope things get better.
Kidding me right? I have ADHD totally wrong what you said.
Maybe like get her counseling or early womanhood is approaching.
First off don’t threaten to take stuff away, just do it. She is getting negative attention. She is most likely not getting any attention. She may have to talk with some one who can help her.
She is a preteen hitting puberty. She doesn’t know how to feel or self much less how everyone tells her how she should be. Think about how you were as a young girl at that age. Speaking from experience in raising a teenage girl myself. It’s not easy. But your girl is in there. She is just growing up now. Embrace it and find a day to spend with just you and her.