Question for school-aged Mamas and dealing with IEP meetings…my daughter is an only child and when she was younger had very little social interaction due to me working and family helping me watch her when I did work. When she was in preschool, they had a behavior specialist at the school questioning whether she was on the spectrum ( which I am adamant she is not…the issues she has had I went through the same exact thing at her age ). They decided to reevaluate a few years later; she had poked her head in the classroom and said everything was good; however, after a couple of bad days this year, the teacher wants to reevaluate with the specialist ( she is in 3rd grade ). I’m so nervous because I have a feeling they want to state she is autistic…which I am a 1000 percent without a doubt know she isn’t !! I guess I need to vent more than anything, but I guess does anyone have any advice for when I do the zoom meeting?
The spectrum is huge, my son is amazing with language and he speaks really well and is very smart and reads at an accelerated pace. But he is on the spectrum. His social behavior is… well he doesn’t get along with many people. He has a hard time controlling his emotions. Please don’t think just because your daughter may be on the spectrum that it’s a bad thing. My mother was autistic and no one knew unless she told them.
I’d say get her evaluated anyway, it’s not a bad thing to get done and it’ll help you and her teachers in the long run. If she is on the spectrum and it’s documented, it’ll make her school life easier because her teachers will be able to get the tools she needs for her while she’s there and it’ll make her school life more enjoyable for her.
Even before we knew for a fact that he has autism, we had an IEP set up for him. Just be truthful with them. This is for her, and it’ll help.
Don’t agree to anything! Take your time to read through everything. If possible have someone with you that can help listen. As a parent our emotions often get in the way and we don’t hear everything
Just listen to what they have to say and in the end don’t forget to voice your opinion and concerns. In the end you are her voice and you have to speak up for her. Maybe it’s not that and it could be something else. Getting evaluated will help and getting tested. If you still don’t like what they have to say then talk to them. My three girls all have an IEP for different reasons and I always make sure to speak up and let them know how I feel.
Most of the the time they aren’t looking to slap labels on anyone. They really are working to address the specific needs. Often times they do evaluations simply to rule out certain things so they can really get to the bottom of the needs. I am and Early Childhood Educator and can appreciate how tough this situation is from all sides. Ask as many questions as you can to clarify any concerns you may have. If behaviors are the stem.of their inquiry try to look at it from a different perspective. I’ve had to explain to a family after working with them for 2 years (parents were refusing evaluation) that I had two choices: there is a need not currently being met or the child is simply choosing to insert concern (example: not follow the rules, is hitting their friends, name call teachers, refuse to do assignments, etc). Either way, it is their job as educator to narrow down the cause and come up with solutions.
Since you are here asking for help, you are obviously a great Mom who wants best for their kiddo. As hard as it might be, forget the labels and try to understand the entirety of the situation by listening all the way through first.
Best of luck 
Hear them out and remember no matter what they may label or services they offer as the parent you do have the right to refuse services. My son is on an iep and it has done nothing but help support both him and his teachers so he can get the most out of schooling. You are allowed to bring a parent advocate with you to an iep meeting as well to help you understand all the processes
You don’t have to agree to anything. Let them evaluate her and see what they have to say. She may get some help you didn’t realize she needed. You are her advocate - go with your instincts. If the “iep team” agrees to something you don’t agree with, question it! Don’t sign the evaluation until you are fully confident and trust the findings to be true - coming from a Special Education resource teacher - I hope all goes well!
With behavior, we have to take a lot of data. We have to observe the child at least 3xs plus have the teachers collect data. We can’t just say yea she is good. So with that being said the behavior specialist is part of the team and we don’t label anyone. We are to support children’s learning with Tools that will help the child. We teach the staff how to use the tools as well. You have the power and parents don’t know that. I’m guessing your daughter has had a tri. You do not have to sign anything. Especially if you feel they are not doing right by your child. A token economy works wonders, a first then chart, a fidget box that she could request, a break card . There is so much they could suggest.
Been through so much with schools but you as a parent can deny them doing any testing or you can agree and also tell them your getting a second opinion my oldest dealt with that I let them test him but I also got a second opinion goes to find out he was bored and ended up being gifted with learning disability with critical thinking then my second son had so many issues but didn’t get support he was labeled the problem child goes to find out he was autistic
Being introverted doesn’t mean you have autism.
All through grade school people thought I was mute. When I did speak, they thought I had a speech issue. They thought I had reading issues too. Convinced something was wrong with me.
Wasted idk how long in special reading classes and speech therapy trying to figure it out 
I was shy. I read 12th grade level in elementary. I have a slight accent. There was nothing wrong with me.
Being introverted, independent, quiet, etc doesn’t automatically mean you have autism. It doesn’t hurt to have the test done, but trust your gut.
Iep"s aren’t bad my daughter is the step below 504 and there’s nothing wrong with it at all it gets them extra help and it’s very beneficial to them
Whether she is on the spectrum or not… the IEP would be great for areas she might need help in.
IEP is not just for autism it covers many learning differences and can be a vary useful tool , keep a open mind and keep the energy abt how to support your childs learning experience. My daughter was on a IEP and it really helped her and me navigate through her elementary years.
Early intervention is great with the iep but don’t allow them to put labels on your child. 2 of my kids have had ieps and 1 of them graduated his and caught up to state standards.
As a parent, it is your right to refuse testing etc.
Where im from the school can’t declare whether a child us on the spectrum. Eip is also for a lot of other factors.
A medical professional usually comes into play at some point too. If you know she is not, the med pro will also see it.
Seems some schools are fast to write off certain behaviors in this way for certain write offs. It’s not entirely a bad thing- it gives your child some more opportunities and help in different areas also bc they now have the ability too under the iep program.
My oldest is in iep and they have done a pretty amazing job at giving the 1 on 1 she needs, helping her through learning how she needs and being very clear about every process.
Listen to the teacher.
I worked as an educational advocate and also had a child on an IEP. I think you’re getting a lot of great suggestions. My child would not have graduated high school if she didn’t get the extra help specified in the IEP. That being said, an evaluation could be very informative. You could take her to a developmental pediatrician if you feel that would be better.
Write a list of your concerns and tell them. Schools get money for having them in special classes. Not a bad thing to let them say their piece, but they should also listen to you. After all you are momma and momma usually knows her kiddo the best. Sometimes teachers just don’t know how to teach some kiddos. The kiddo and teacher may not mesh. It could be so many things. They are so quick to say nowadays this kid has this, that kid has that. Just because each kid isn’t a robot doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them. They are kids. I’ve caught teachers in lines and they want to send my kid to the office. I don’t mind to stand behind teachers. I don’t allow my kiddo to disrespect but at the same time I don’t want the teacher disrespecting my kiddos either.
An autism diagnosis is not the end of the world. The diagnosis could actually allow her to get help for the things the teachers are witnessing, and ill-equipped to handle.
My daughter is 16 and only now are psychologists suggesting she’s on the spectrum. Looking back, I thought I had a strong-willed child… now that child’s behavior has become self-destructive and at her age I need her buy in on all things (therapy, school, etc).
The ASD Assessment is not done by the school but by an independent organization. They in no way benefit by diagnosing your child incorrectly.
You mentioned behaviors that your daughter had had that you had at her age. I don’t know how old you are, but I am in my early 40s. How neuro differences are handled today verses even 10 years ago is pretty significant. Going back to when I was in high school, there was very little understanding of how high functioning ASD kids needed to be taught differently. HELL, I hadn’t heard the word Autism until the late 90s/early 00s. The kid in the class that didn’t react to social queues, that kid was treated horribly when really he could have been taught how to recognize queues.
Your child will benefit from an assessment. Either to rule out what the teachers are saying, or to get her the help she needs.
I have regular IEP meetings for my daughter. She’s in speech therapy and resource room? Do they offer those things at your child’s school? I would for sure ask about them if she’s not in them already. My daughter had a speech delay and they thought she was on the spectrum as well (she’s not) but if your daughters school offers those classes then I would ask if she could be put in them. My daughter started in those 2 years ago and now she’s a completely different kid and it has helped majorly!
Get her evaluated my son is in 3rd grade and has been diagnosed with adhd and bipolar disorder hes been to 3 dif schools this one I found has been trying to help him with his behavior also his learning disability and iep doesn’t mean just one thing it’s based on verify of dif disabilitys try to talk to your doctor to find a diagnosis
Do not let them push you they get thousand of dollars for claims an IEP student !!! First you would know if you child has autism trust me !!! Now a days teachers and doctors like to put everyone in a box and if you don’t fit the bill their is something wrong my sister didn’t talk for years and years they said she would never be normal an that she was mentally disabled this girl is a high school science teacher with two bachelor degrees and a master degree!! Stand tour ground your child might need more time with school work or one on one but that does not mean in any way their have a disability some kids just don’t learn as fast as other!! And you cannot let them tell you that is because of a disability!!
I feel this post really is accentuating your fear of a “diagnosis” which is where the majority of your anxiety is most likely stemming from. I definitely think IEP meetings are incredibly beneficial for the student, parent, and the teacher. I hope if a suggestion of a “diagnosis” is brought up that you take it into consideration instead of immediately dismissing the observation. As you stated your child grew up not so exposed or integrated with other children (which is perfectly fine) but that also means the teacher and specialist may be exposed to behaviors that you yourself have not been (that’s ok too)! As a mother I can only imagine your anxiety level as I myself would be quick to say “my child doesn’t have autism/ADD/ADHD(add any disorder here)” but as hard and heart breaking as it can be I hope you can be open minded and take ALL scenarios into consideration - for your child’s sake - and I do think some teachers are quick to jump to a “diagnosis” because they just don’t have the ability to teach or “handle” the child - but some teachers are absolutely suggesting things that are for the child’s best interest! Praying for you mama and your peace of mind!
One of my twins is in an iep program to help with his reading and his twin brother is getting evaluated as well now
A school cannot label a child without a diagnosis of autism and a lot of testing and evaluations would need to take place. With that being said, why would it hurt to have her evaluated? If numerous education professionals are indicating a cause for concern, there is probably something going on. I have taught in an inclusion classroom with special education students for 17 years. Most educators have the child’s best interest at heart. Many children are cared for by immediate family only before preschool and this doesn’t usually cause the kinds of issues the educators may be referring to. Dont deny your child the support because you are so adamant she doesnt have a problem. It makes it so much harder for the child. Take a breath and listen to the school.
I can’t necessarily speak for other schools, but at my school (I teach 2nd grade) an IEP is how students will receive all the extra support/accommodations needed to be more successful in school. Also, after any testing you’d still have to agree to anything and give consent for it to happen. If you don’t approve of something, you just let them know.
i feel like your resistance towards getting a clear diagnosis is very counterproductive. parallels between your and her behavior as children doesn’t prove or disprove anything. nor does your own theory about what may be causing behavioral issues. please just let them evaluate your daughter and keep an open mind. if she is autistic then you can’t help her navigate life if you refuse to even entertain the possibility.
Lol first of all, you can be on the autism spectrum and act just like every other “normal” person. Don’t hold your child back from getting the help she needs just because you refuse to believe she is different. Also, you’re how old? When was the last time YOU got evaluated? Maybe you actually are autistic as well. A lot has changed. Get over yourself.
Have her evaluated from her pediatrician. But an IEP can be very good for a child. Both my sons had one
Wether you believe she’s on the spectrum or not she obviously has some things she needs to work through if they’re pushing for an IEP. Both of my siblings are on the spectrum and they are perfectly fine, they had some extra help when they were her age but my sister who is now 15 leads a completely normal life and no longer had any need for her IEP. They’re there to help her and a school cannot diagnose your child you will have to get a professional opinion on that matter.
I would get an evaluation done. It doesn’t matter what they call it. My child would at least get the supports needed for them to be successful. This is my perspective and experience.
A evaluation doesn’t mean a diagnosis and a diagnosis doesn’t have to mean medication. Get the evaluation then talk with the school as well as the pediatrician about the results. You could be completely surprised the help that your child receives. Try to think open minded talk about your concerns it’s about doing what’s best for your child.
You are in control of your child is they cant start one or close one without u don’t let them do anything u don’t want
So if your school is willingly suggesting an evaluation and an IEP DO IT! Most parents have to fight to get services for their children because schools dont want to pay the money. If you are not comfortable with the school doing the evaluation take her to a developmental pediatrician and let them. What it comes down to at the end of the day is she obviously needs help. Open your mind to the different possibilities so she gets the best she can. I work with adults with developmental disabilities and there are plenty of people with autism who are “normal people”.
I have two children with IEP’s and neither of them is on the spectrum. An IEP is an individual Education Plan which helps children who might be falling behind in class due to not learning as quickly as others. My son got his IEP in grade 3 and is now caught up with the rest of the class and gets better grades. My daughter has a severe learning disability and is dyslexic therefore her EIP is different in the way she gets more time to complete the work handed out and has an EA help her. They want to do a psycho evaluation this year to find out how else they can help her. Not put a label on her.
Please let them help her. They may just alter her work load so that she can keep with the class. Ask a lot of questions, I had to fight for my kids to get their IEP, if they want to do it without you fighting for it, do it!! Get the process started now as it take time to put it all together.
Hang in there momma, sounds like they just want to help.
What services are already happening? An IEP follows an evaluation and identification so if you are invited to an IEP there is already some sort of service.
No mom wants to hear that their child is on the spectrum or has some other type of issue. But you have to have trust in that teacher who has been around hundreds of children and can see something is up. If she is, you and the school will be able to work on a plan to help her for the future. Get her tested.
I went through this with my son. They said he had adhd and put him on a 504 plan. Since he has had a plan put in place he has went from Cs and Ds to straight As. Just go in with an open mind and listen to the suggestions and ask questions. They can’t make you do or agree to anything you don’t want to. They are just trying to help her succeed.
I hear your concerns because I just had to fight to get my son an IEP. He has ADHD and dyslexia although I haven’t been able to get an official diagnosis of the dyslexia part because he is only 8. I have several friends and family members who are teachers, but as a parent, I definitely did not see things the way they did. I was told when going through the process, that a child has to be at least 2 grades behind to even be able to qualify for IEP services - UNLESS they have a medical diagnosis to go with it. There is a broad spectrum of autism and when the child hasn’t been given any other official medical diagnosis, they basically are looking for a box to check to get the IEP to go through. I realize the school gets money for IEP kids, but in my case, I fought to get one early because I knew my son was falling behind. Life is so much better for him since he has been approved for IEP. They help him learn ways to study for spelling tests and they help get his homework done. I used to fight for literally an hour every night with him over school work. He loves his IEP teacher and she is obviously more capable at helping him than I am. My husband and I both graduated in the top percent of our classes, so we are not uneducated people and we were at our wits end with this kid and the homework struggles. He is obviously getting the help he needs now and he is doing better in school.
then take her to get your own evaluation not sure why you dont want to know your child may need help school can request she needs help but cant diagnose. Honestly hun your no doctor so just because you want your child to be find just like the.rest of us doesnt mean its true there are different parts of the spectrum for all you know you could have it just have been very mild andnnot diagnosed as it wasnt pushed as much as it is nowadays compared to then.
Your child and their success is what is most important. I’m somewhat confused about why you would be resistant to anything that would would aid in that. IEP’s are not about labeling, they’re about helping them reach their goals.
Before the school even begins the process of re-evaluating her they have to try other interventions first. If those are unsuccessful then they begin observing. After 3 observations of different teachers, the team would decide to move on with the process. When she would be re-evaluated she would take verbal and non verbal tests and must meet a certain score on those test. If she falls below those numbers they will recommend an iep for her specific learning needs. Just because she has an iep in elementary doesn’t mean she will have it for the rest of her life. An iep is only there to benefit the child and level the playing field so to speak. She may only need a 504? If it’s just behaviors she may only have one or two goals to work with.
They may say all they want and you can refuse the testing. But, just tell them you’ll get your own opinion from a source from the drs office. Their looking for more school funding
I hear your concerns go to your pediatrician.Then tell them what you want and get your child evaluated on your terms.Not only on school terms.It seems to me school is quick to want to evaluate everyone all the time.All children learn different ways.
Dress nicely and remain calm, inform them you will be visiting her pediatrician, spend more time with her
Listen, I was 100% you. I desperately hope you read this. There is a post somewhere out there where I literally said “My kid isn’t autistic. There’s no way.” My daughter had issues from go which weren’t a surprise to me. And her evals read just like I did at her age. Yet here and there people had questioned if she was on the spectrum. I was like, you’re crazy. She’s just like me but worse. I had ADD. Husband was clearly undiagnosed ADHD. Before we had a kid I knew we were looking at that diagnosis. By 4 months she couldn’t maintain attention for more than 2 seconds. By 2 years she couldn’t sit long enough for me to brush hair and put it up. She couldn’t even sit to do preferred activities! So it was clear. Since we had her in therapy and early intervention from age 1, I let the diagnosis go until school when she became disruptive and was listed as a danger (during tantrums) to herself and others. So I got the diagnosis for ADHD, they looked at ODD, but went with low liability (which just mean 0 frustration tolerance, like you tell her no and she can’t handle it despite hearing it 8000 times a day. I was not a parent to shy away from correction or discipline. I’m not about raising an entitled monster.). So I blamed the excessive tantrums, and insistence on certain things, and sensory issues on ADHD with her impulse and emotional issues, and all mine and my husband’s bad personality traits, like his snap temper and my stubborn nature etc. She had great eye contact and could have a back and forth conversation. She was, for a very long time, socially on track with her peers. As far as I was concerned she was just a difficult kid with ADHD. Even therapists and teachers were like were with me on that (at ages 3-8). But by age 10, it was a different story. School was seeing stuff we never saw at home, and I eventually started to notice the social differences between her and other kids her age. Then her behavioral specialist recommended we have her evaluated for ASD, and they diagnosed her, but I went for a second opinion through the school because they did more through testing. They had the same findings. It is what it is. Having that diagnosis has opened more doors for her, and helped me navigate some behaviors I couldn’t understand before. It was NOT a bad thing. Let them do it. Get your second opinion. Hell, get a third opinion! But if 2 out of 3 says she’s on the spectrum, take the hit and help your kid. Please. She will need you on her side, regardless.
I would also suggest joining IEP/504 groups you will get more helpful and useful information. If they want to evaluate do it. The more help the better. It is the more services your child will receive. You need to open your mind and stop looking at it negatively. That they are even pushing this is a good thing. Think of it as you guys are a team that need to work together to achieve the best possible results for your child.
Teachers cannot diagnose children,.they’re not doctors! only a doctor can…
I have twins in kindergarten… and one Is doing great… while the other is struggling in every aspect… socially … academically… everything… Makes me so sad to see him struggle… I literally just signed all papers for the specialist to test him on this huge list of stuff… and from there we will establish his IEP. I’m praying I will have dedicated aids/teachers that will work with us.
They can recommend a diagnosis but only a pshchiatrist can do testing to give you an actual diagnosis
It’s okay if she’s autistic, we’re not monsters.
As a mom to a special needs child…I do not know how I feel about this to be honest.
So I’m just going to walk you through “my story” and save any advice for the end.
My oldest son is 7…almost 8. When he was born it was traumatic and he ended up with a permanent nerve injury.
He was in physical or occupational therapy from 2 months and still is to this day. Every milestone had to be worked for because of his arm.
Due to all of this he NEVER saw the inside of a daycare. Family ALWAYS watched him and he was never around other kids until prek.
At 2 he had a speech delay, but no one ever thought it was due to autism.
At 3.5 we started really behavior issues. At 4.5 I KNEW it was adhd.
He was diagnosed at 5 and began medication. He was actually able to graduate OUT of speech therapy just 2 months after starting meds.
But we still had some issues that couldnt be explained by adhd. Nothing major. Not really. Struggles with abstract concepts. Not really understanding social cues very well. Singing songs he learned in school on repeat. Playing with things in “strange” ways nothing bad…but not intended ways.
My youngest son was referred for speech therapy and the speech therapist insisted on an autism screening.
During that evaluation we had a lot of “he does but he’s copying his brother” answers which prompted us to get the oldest evaluated.
The first meeting with the doctor…his adhd meds had completely worn off. The doctor didn’t think he had autism that day because his adhd was just…so loud.
But the next part of the eval was scheduled in the morning and his meds were in effect.
He was diagnosed with autism what formerly would have been called asperger’s syndrome.
My youngest still hasn’t finished his eval per doctor. He has sensory issues from chronic ear infections and is unofficially diagnosed with adhd (hes 3) because behavior plus familial history.
The thing about these diagnoses and evaluations is that they’re based on age-range appropriate behaviors.
Now I’m a little more familiar with the adhd evals (having been in the room for the entire thing and having doc explain this one a little more in depth) so I’m going to give examples there…
It’s pretty normal for a 2 year old to not focus on any one activity for too long. Its not too concerning if a 3 year old cant focus that long either. At 4 youre getting into iffy territory but It is not normal if a 5 year old cannot focus on something for 5 to 10 minutes. The concern goes up the older the child gets.
Autism evals work pretty much the same but with some different behaviors. It’s why many doctors have gotten to where they do not like diagnosing at younger ages, because of age and symptom overlap.
When my oldest was younger…family members were concerned about autism but no medical professional ever mentioned it.
I stayed in denial a long time…my kiddo had enough to deal with.
But when as he got older I watched him struggling and I knew and came to accept it long before the diagnosis.
Nothing had changed in any negative way. Hes still just my child. The same child he’s always been. The diagnosis simply helps us understand how to show and teach him things better.
Hes testing age appropriate in EVERY category at school…like despite all of his issues we cannot get an iep for him.
He does have a 504. It’s mostly things like…giving him a little space to calm down if he gets upset (we’ve taught him to take a break and take some deep breaths before going back to something upsetting or frustrating)
If you didnt know about the diagnosis and someone didnt have their on special needs child…you would never actually guess it. Like his occupational therapist was absolutely FLOORED when I told her what the doctor had said.
Stop thinking about yourself or what you do or do not want for your child.
Start thinking about the best way to help her And let that be your guide for what you should or shouldnt do.
Pretty obviously you cannot have a less than perfect child. I suggest putting her up for adoption immediately if she proves to be autistic. Sounds like you are unwilling to help her thrive.
You don’t know for a fact if she is or isn’t on the spectrum because you are not a doctor.
There are many different levels to the spectrum and i honestly cannot believe your being so closed minded.
My daughter is on the spectrum, and i didnt enjoy hearing it but i never denied it and thought i knew more than the doctors and i got the tests she needed. Im literally baffled, seems selfish to me 
Autism presents differently in girls, symptoms are often less severe. As another mom stated above, autism isn’t a negative thing.
My sister, is technically on the spectrum. She was informally diagnosed with Aspergers while in college to be a psychologist. She’s now in her 30s. Successful LPN, can literally play ANY instrument and can speak several languages. Another person I know is high functioning autistic. He’s a marine.
The fact that the school is bringing it up, I find amazing. Most states don’t allow their schools to bring up anything like this. Which makes the parent-teacher relationship so much harder. My son has ADHD,combined type. The teacher who noticed it wasn’t allowed to say anything. But was super thankful that I noticed and was already in process of getting him evaluated.
Advice, go into the meeting with an open mind. Hear them out. They’re not putting her in a box, they’re trying to help her flourish. Listen to their concerns and the reasons they think this.
Call her pediatrician and have her evaluated there as well.
Only a Dr can diagnose…that being said please let them do any testing they feel appropriate…you can then go from there…you dont have to agree or sign anything…reach out for resources in your area…there are agencies like PACER in MN…thwy will help…
My daughter was just diagnosed autistic in 4th grade after years of teachers suggesting I seek further testing. I’m glad I did because she thrives now…
Don’t get caught up in the diagnosis name. So long as she gets the services she needs to be the best person she can be get on board with both feet.
I had a 504 plan in school.
You say you’re “adamant” she’s not autistic or anything… but the school wanting to reevaluate says maybe there is something going on.
You are your child’s BEST advocate! NEVER assume that there’s nothing wrong either. It doesn’t matter if your child is on the spectrum or not so stop saying she isn’t. There’s plenty of resources. They do these evaluations to make sure YOUR CHILD GETS THE MOST OF HER EDUCATION. The “issues” she’s dealing with need to be taken care of by therapy or something else if it’s necessary. Ask questions. Take her to the dr and have her doctor do some tests.
But definitely ADVOCATE. Ask questions. And be there for your child!
I had an iep for my son and at my request he was screened several times for autism and they all came back that he doesn’t have it. They don’t just say a child is autistic because they feel like it. Open your mind a little bit to the possibility so if she is she can get the help she needs. Denial will do nothing but hold her back. Get a referral from your doctor and have her screened privately if you’re so certain they are wrong
They can’t say she is they can only voice their concerns that’s it and offer extra help while at school, which sometimes isn’t a bad thing, I’m pretty sure mine is dyslexic so the school is testing for it ONLY cuz I voiced concern about it due to what Iv been noticing and what the teachers have noticed, they should’ve sent home a letter with their concern and you can consent or decline the help, only a doctor can say for 100% if she is or not
They dont have to 100% diagnose her on paper. My son was just developmentally delayed until he was 10 they do this sometimes to see if something changes but he was still being receiving all the services and treated as he was on the spectrum
Just get her evaluated by a doctor
Dont let the school label her! Go to a dr and get a proper diagnosis!
Why is it that you seem to see Autism as this big monster? I am nearly 26 years old amd jave jad my diagnoses for nearly 20 years. I have an almost 8 year old son and with therapy thrive on an everyday basis. So how are we supposed to thrive if someone like you acts like we are monsters.
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Being in denial that your child may be autistic is not helpful. You are your child’s best advocate. You are wasting valuable time getting her the correct education she may need. My advice is for you to have her evaluated by a pediatric neurologist. From a mom who’s son was diagnosed on the spectrum at 2. Started pre-k and specialized school at 3. Mainstreamed by 6 with aides for couple of years and then he blossomed. Great grades all the way through high school. He is now 23 very independent and works, owns his own vehicle and thriving. Never underestimate what your child can do with the proper education.
You can have her evaluated on your own and outside source
My son has conduct disorder and ODD and slight adhd school IEP tested him he’s great this year even after the first half of homeschooling him
In my opinion, it is always, always, always better to be safe than sorry. I understand you don’t want to put a label on your child, but honestly what is it going to hurt getting her screened for autism? Weather she has it or not, that information could really really make a difference for the whole situation.
It may not be autism… my son has a slight delay doesn’t mean hes on the spectrum also 3rd grade and just switched to resource classes it’s to help them and they probably see her struggling.
The school can not test her without your consent. If you want her tested, then you can agree to letting the school do it or you can also have your own testing done so you know.
If you do decide to allow the school to test, they will share findings with you before they implement anything else and you can opt in or out at that point too.
Should you agree to an iep, they are reviewed annually and they can retest along the way to see if she still qualifies. My experience has been that regular Ed teachers push for iep services but special Ed teachers push to get them back into the classroom and give them skills to be off an iep.
Another thing to mention is that there are advocates that can attend any iep meeting with you that can help and be there for your support.
You don’t know that she is or isn’t unless you are a doctor/trained professional to diagnosis.
Whenever they wanted to test my son to see if he needed special education they never once labeled him, they gave me some papers explaining which areas they think he needed help him. I’ll admit I was on the fence about it to, but I asked a lot of questions and they was very helpful in helping me understand that it was best for my son. Write some questions down to ask through the meeting and keep it in your mind that its nothing about labeling your child, but it’s about doing something that could be beneficial for your child’s education.
A. Autism isn’t a death sentence.
B. It looks very different in girls opposed to the stereotypes.
Try and get into a development and behavior specialist to have her evaluated, it may be something way simple or nothing at all but you will never know without a professional opinion
I know this sounds weird but it could be the environment. My son started preschool on a developmental delay and he didnt get much social being the only kid his age in my family as well. They said he had autistic signs but they didn’t want to label him right away. I actually worked for the school and got a job at a school a little ways away and I decided to move him to the school I worked at. It was a smaller school with smaller class sizes (he used to go to Nisley which is way over crowded, and his OT and speech therapist only saw him once a week) after he moved to the smaller school within just a year hes doing way better getting more 1 on 1 to catch up. They now hace took him off all his specialists except 1 because hes got an auditory processing disorder they’re realizing now. I didnt realize an overcrowded environment could effect things. Maybe try moving schools to see if it helps? Im not saying that could be the case. Every child is different and honestly moving your child if she is on the spectrum will throw her because her routine will be changed.
Get an evaluation done by a private psychologist/behavior specialist of your own choosing. Not the school psychologist.
Autism spectrum is HUGE. I would try and be very open to it - if she is, there’s so much you can do to help her, rather than just fighting it. I’d do some research into signs in girls - there are lots of adult women who fit the mold but are never diagnosed.
The school won’t do assessments if they don’t have concerns - it’s not worth their time or money. Be open. Listen to what they have to say. Your child is who they are, diagnosis or not. They don’t change, just your supports may increase.
I would personally have her evaluated by a family doctor or have your doctor refer you to someone to due a deep evaluation …i went thru the same thing the school only sees what they want to see …maybe someone step in the home environment and just set back and watch everyday life
I guess I don’t know why you wouldn’t want her tested. What if there is something going on? And you choose to ignore it? You are not helping her by doing that. Maybe she is and maybe she isn’t, but unless you are a clinical psychologist you don’t really have the expertise to make that decision and you could be causing irreparable harm by not introducing special education.
A iep meeting can not tell you if ur son is autistic. You have to bring them to a neurologist to know for sure
School can not diagnose talk to your dr
Okay but you can’t know forsure. Autism is SO MUCH HARDER to diagnose in girls than it is in boys, and getting a diagnosis this early would be extremely beneficial, as most women don’t get diagnosed until their 20s. My son is Autistic, and my partner and I were both diagnosed in our 20s with Autism, I think the word scares people, because some autistic children have a lot mote difficulties than others, but just remember its a spectrum! There are loads of successful autistic people, but you denying her, is going to create so many problems. You can’t be 100% sure shes not, you’re not a doctor.
If you feel your child is not, then tell them NO! I have one that is is and it is evident that he is. And I have one that the school is saying is, and he is not! They can not even your child without your permission! Ive been dealing with it for 5 years.
Trust your own instincts for your children. The world is sadly not on their side
Special Education teacher here. What state are you in? From my personal experience, the more information about a child, the better I can help. With that being said, there are things that can be done regardless of a diagnosis of Autism. It is extremely hard to get a educational diagnosis of Autism. Schools do not get more funding based on this like others have stated. You have the right to bring an advocate to your IEP meeting if you need more support. What are the behaviors? Does she have a behavior support plan? There are so many factors-you can PM me if you need to. I’ll help in any way I can
Iep chair here…the school cannot diagnose without having completed a full battery of assessments- psych. Educational, observations, autism rating checklists and behavior rating scales (completed by parents and 2-3 teachers). I’d ask for a speech and language evaluation as well. The more information the team has, the better. You can always go to an outside place and have assessments done as well, but do not do telehealth assessments- they are not valid and do not provide as much information.
I would definitely get her screened…IEP doesn’t necessarily mean autism it is just to help in any areas they might be behind in. My son is in kindergarten and has an IEP for speech which has helped him tremendously!
Don’t be so afraid of a diagnosis, you could be keeping your child from care. I know that labeling can be scary, but it can also be life changing for your daughter.
See a specialist outside of the school if you think they aren’t being objective, but please don’t block seeking an answer for your daughter.
Speaking as a child that desperately needed said intervention and didn’t get it. School was hell for me so by all means get a second opinion but don’t allow your ego to put your child through hell all her school life because she can’t keep up no matter how hard she tries.
I just had a conversation about autism with my son’s councilor just yesterday. She brought up a valid point when I mentioned that I didn’t think that my son could be on the spectrum. She stated that she could see some signs of being on the spectrum in my child but because I know my child better than anyone that it is possible that I couldn’t see it. Please consider exploring this to figure out if she could possibly be on the spectrum. This could be extremely helpful for her. Possibly even life-changing for her.
Stand you ground. And speak up of you are thinking then say it
Your mom…u have final say…remember that
My boyfriend and I tried to seek help for his eldest daughter from a previous but her mother was adamant there was nothing wrong but the poor kid couldn’t even string a sentence together, she’s two years older than our daughter and she struggled with going to the toilet asking for stuff getting dressed basics communication and playing with other children she just wanted to sit in front of the tv all day she just didn’t know how to play with other kids was really sad to see. His ex refused any help and cut him out of her life. We heard a little while later that there was other people finally intervened because she was so behind she was potentially being kept back a year.
Maybe these people just see your daughter is struggling a bit and falling behind abs want to help her. Listen to what they have to say it could be something your child needs in school that you don’t realise or see because your with her daily people on the outside might see something you don’t. Nobody wants to think there is something wrong with their child but surely they deserve every bit of help to do well in life. Don’t let pride get in the way of something that could help just because of what other people might think.
I had a similar experience with my son. The school came to me and suggested he may have ADHD. I, like you, was adamant that he was not and I refused all help. It is something I will forever regret. I watched my son struggle throughout his school years. He is grown now and still struggles to this day. Ask your primary physician for a referral. It could literally change your daughter’s life.
I work at an elementary school. That’s not how any of it works.
IEP is a great thing! My son did not need an ADHD diagnosis for the school to help us and enroll him. We know who he is, and what he needs. He is now alot less stressed at school and is on the honor roll. He is 14.
Being on the spectrum is not what it used to be when we were growing up so understand if they are diagnosing her that way you probably have preconceived fears that might not be relevant now
The school doesn’t diagnose autism. I had told my son’s teacher and the counselor that something was different about my son and they dismissed my concerns. He was in kinder. They were my coworkers and I’d been teaching first grade for 12 years at that point. I went ahead and spoke to his pediatrician and was referred to a specialist that diagnosed him with Aspergers. The school did some testing but it was not for autism. It was more for learning disabilities, which he doesn’t have.