My daughter is 3… I am overwhelmed and stressed out. I have two older children, boy (7), girl (6), and then she has a younger brother who is 2. I just don’t know how to handle things. I have issues picking out her clothes. So I will let her pick out what she wants to wear and guide her to things that match… all the way down to socks and shoes… she will put it on and still throw a fit about wearing it. Like screaming, throwing things, and strip naked. It’s stressful. And if I tell her to put it back on, she will hide it, or pee in it or whatever so she doesn’t have to wear it. She ends up going through about five outfits a day on a normal day. It drives me CRAZY. What should I do? She also is very bad about holding going to the bathroom. She used to have issues with constipation, so now she takes a fiber vitamin and stool softener, and she will hold it until I have to give her a suppository. She will not use the toilet or go in a diaper anymore. A pediatrician is sending her to a behavioral specialist, but i just need advice on how to guide her and help her. I am trying to be patient, but sometimes it is hard. Please give me some advice, and please don’t criticize me. I have talked with doctors and other parents, and I haven’t received much help. I just need help.
It will be better when she is evaluated so you know whats going on and then how to address it…right now its a shot in the dark
Sometimes you just have to pick your battles. If she wants to wear something stupid but it will make her happy so be it 
as for the bathroom thing I’m no help my LO isn’t potty trained yet. But I’d keep working on it with her maybe reward system if she actually goes good luck hang in there !
I have an autistic son and from my experience with him, it sounds like your baby might have a sensory dysfunction. It also seems like she knows how to push your buttons. My son will use his issues to try and gain sympathy or the upper hand. Once she’s evaluated you’ll know more, but you do need to make it clear to her that her behavior is unacceptable. Hang in there.
Let her wear what she wants 
. That’s way too much stress over wanting her to match.
I think you to have her evaluated. It sounds like there’s something more going on.
I’d respectfully suggest you have allowed this to happen over the years it’s not suddenly started. So as it’s been a long time building it’s equally going to take a long time to sort. But you have to be focused and more “ parenty “ than you have been so far.
Seriously consider having her checked for a sensory issue. I’ve seen this exact behavior in a child with sensory perception disorder.
just let her wear what she wants it might not match but oh well! kids don’t care about that
What kinds of things are you doing to discipline her for peeing, hiding, etc her clothes?? That is so crazy she goes to such lengths over clothing! I think once she starts seeing the behavioral therapist itll help!
Sounds like sensory issues to me. I’d ask your ped for a referral to a phycologist or neurologist.
My son is like this. I put shirts & pants together on hangers. He gets to choose between 2-3 outfits. Much more than that is too overwhelming. Some days that’s too much. He’s not allowed to see the rest of his clothes. I keep them hung in the utility room. If he doesn’t like his outfit he chose we try to figure it out. Is the tag itchy, is it too tight, too loose, is the zipper pinching him, fabric wrong, is his skin dry today etc. I’ll let him pick 1 other outfit, take note of that outfit & reorder it later. If he strips off the second outfit I start walking out the door. You’d be surprised how quickly clothes goes on especially when it’s cold outside. Yes there’s screaming, yes it’s frustrating. But at 6 now there’s less of that. He still has his days, many of them. Just not every day.
How is she with food, blankets, over stimulating days, places or activities?
It sounds to me like she may have a sensory issue. Wait for her to evaluated and go from there. Maybe just let her pick out whatever she wants to wear. If she doesn’t go to daycare, maybe just let her run around the house in her underwear. If she wants a treat or to go out and play then bargain with her, she’ll get this if she does this first kind of thing.
It honestly sounds like sensory issues. Id look into that.
Try setting a few matching outfits out for her to choose from I wouldn’t worry about the socks and shoes matching. Make her sit on the potty once every hour to hour and a half for like five minutes. My youngest had a constipation issue also. She had encopresis. Google it. She grew out of it in her late teens. Definitely have her evaluated and go from there. Good luck mama.
Needs good sharp whack on the ASS.
My daughter is kinda like this I let her choose her outfit even if it’s pjs and mommas rain boots. I don’t care as long as she’s dressed. She had bathroom problems but grew out of it. She wasn’t 100% potty trained until age 4. She used to pee in her toy box threw so many toys away. She is also adhd and slightly autistic. But we decided not to medicate bc it made her a zombie and we love her being her! Just let her be 3 she will grow and learn. I pick my battles with her but I’ve also had to learn to let go bc she is different and I love her so much I let her be who she wants to be. It is a challenge be patient.
Parenting is a pick your battles type thing. You stated you have issues letting her pick her stuff out and then you guide her to things that match. Give it up. Seriously. Clothes are not worth the battle. Unless I’m misunderstanding what you’re saying, the clothes thing is literally a you issue, not a her issue. Let her wear what she wants. You have to find a balance somewhere.
As for the potty training, I feel your pain, my 4 yo had similar issues with encopresis. Try to find a reward that works, and have lots of conversations about how everyone uses the toilet. It took a very serious conversation with my 4 yo just before Christmas for him to explain to me that it hurts when he poops so he just doesnt like to until he has to (which of course then hurts more and the cycle never ends) he hasn’t it gotten it down 100% yet but since that conversation hes made some huge improvements.
No advice here- but my daughter has been dressing herself for years now and i gave up pretty early on about her wearing anything that matches. She likes what she likes. She wont wear jeans and shes 8. Only leggings. 
the photo has an example of an outfit LOL.
Anyway i hope you can find some good tips on here, good luck!!
Let her wear what she wants. Why does it have to match if it makes her happy then so be it. By “helping” her ur not actually letting her pick her own things.
Wait for evaluation she may have a diagnosis that explains the behavior. My daughter has SPD and was diagnosed ASD amongst may other diagnoses. She too had issues with clothes. Still won’t ware jeans. It’s a SPD issues. I can recommend looking into early intervention Pre-K. It provides some therapy. Opens door to other services. The teacher and other parents are VERY helpful.
After she is evaluated u will know if its treatment she need or some tough love. Keep us posted mama. In the mean time just let her pick her stuff. She’s 3 it’s okay if its mismatched. My 7 yr old is a better dresser than my 8 yr old and I leave them to wear whatever as long as its appropriate. It’s an expression of their personality
Let her wear something not matching. My son used to go out in plaid shirts with pajama pants and pink rain boots. But he was so happy! He got older (5 now ) and he is still so picky. His pants cant have strings. And he must be wearing a bow tie at all times. He has to be a fashionista at all times. 
and im ok with it.
My 3 year old would take FOREVER getting dressed. I switched her clothes to the bottom of the closet so she dresses herself now, and wears whatever she wants!
Yesterday she wore a Christmas dress & sweat pants to daycare 
Remove all clothes from her reach/possession. She wears what she is handed or she gets nothing. Your (her) bedroom or the bathroom are the only places she can be naked without clothes or just in underwear, so she cannot leave those areas so if she isnt dressed in what she’s given she goes nowhere and does nothing until she’s dressed. My ex’s daughter used to pull that nonsense and we ended it that way
Teach her to dress herself and put all thr stuff that matches in a box that she’s used to getting turn it into a game.
Sounds like a sensory issue. I can not tell you how bad it was to have to cut the tag out of all of my oldest clothing, this was before the labels were printed on the item of clothing. How many times I have put my arm in pants legs before buying them to see how the fabric “felt”. The money I have spent on socks with no toe seam. The times I’ve bought identical shoes that I had just bought a month earlier because he actually liked them and wouldn’t fight about wearing them so I bought a size up.
Just let her wear what she wants, we all understand honestly, just don’t buy her clothes you deem inappropriate. Who cares if they match. Dont you know cowgirl boots go with everything lol
What clothes is she wearing that are a problem?? My daughter has clothes issues (no jeans, no hooded shirts, no itchy sweaters, no sequin can touch her skin or arms, nothing too thick or hot etc) so we stick with leggings and a long or short sleeve t shirt. It all feels the same on her body, so there’s no issue. And everything we get for the most part is mix and match, so she can pick the pants and the top and it all goes together, or it goes well enough, anyway. At 3, I also used to let her run around in undies or naked during specified “naked time”. So she had some freedom, but it wasn’t like she could be naked all the time.
Soubds like your girl will probably need play therapy to get passed her anxiety and sensory issues. Get her in asap.
Have you tried to have her pick the week of clothes ahead of time? Like sundays, she picks out her choices (from clothes you pre-chose) for the week ? That way it’s not a daily stress thing ?
Oh sweetie pick your battles with a 3 year old!! If she wants to go out in pokadots, and rainbows let her!! They are only little once she is building independence and her own style!
Just let her wear what she wants. My daughter just turned 3 and she has a fit until she can wear what she wants. She goes through phases. The summer was only dresses every day, right now she will only wear her “cozy clothes,” so fleece shirts and fleece pants, matching or not lol oh well
I’m gonna be an odd ball and possibly called a bad mom myself. 
sometimes you gotta spank them and put your foot down, you’re letting her control you. You are the parent. Act like it.
I kind of had a similar problem with the clothes. I went out and bought just straight same solid color matching pants and shirts with white socks and undies, those were her choices. Red one day, blue the next, purple and so on. When she got better about getting dressed without any problems she earned her pretty patterns and dresses back. It worked for us, good luck mama!!!
You need to make everything a game or joke. Let her pick 4 or 5 outfits the night before. She is needing more time with you, on her. Good or bad attention is still attention. Turn on music, makes dumb jokes, get crazy. Every kid is different. I remember letting my daughter wear princess gowns everywhere when she was 3. Its building self esteem, independence, self worth…she wont remember these times, just roll with it! 2 older siblings and a younger one …
This is one of those pick your battles things. I promise when she gets older ( middle school age) she’ll want to wear jeans and anything cute whether it’s comfortable or not.
My daughter is 3 and she has sensory issues I gave up pants with her she only wants to wear dresses I let her pick out what dress and shoes from 2 or 3 that I lay out if she doesnt want either then shes going to wear what I choose cant give them 2 many options my daughter is very independent wants no help with nothing and okay fine but once she cant do it and starts screaming whining j tell her to calm down use her words and ask for help it will get alot further than screaming because I will not accept that behavior, she can have a fit all she wants it will quickly end dont pay attention to it or feed into her.
I do 3 min time outs
We also had issues with her withholding her stool for a year been to a gastro until I tried fiber packets and the pedialax vitamin chew life savers for us now her poop is regular and she would sometimes hold it because she was pissed about not getting her way it was very stressful I just talked her threw that as much as I could and we overcame it thankfully.if she doesn’t want to wear a diaper will she wear undies? My daughter prefers undies sometimes other days shes comfortable in a diaper some she just wants nothing and that’s fine I ask if she has to go I put the potty in her room because she does not like to be seen or watched it’s more comfortable for her in there and she will come out when shes done…
Good luck hang in there
Pick you battles. Matching clothes is not one worth the fight. She may have other issues that make her either hypertensive to clothing textures or issues coping.
If it gives you so much grief and a fight every time just let her wear what she wants ,not worth everyone getting upset ,and if someone says anything about not matching tell em to shove it ,she is taken care of and the clothes are clean who cares
If she’s going through so many outfits and purposefully peeing, I’d show her how to do laundry and make her responsible for it. Her actions have consequences. More laundry.
I get that she is 3. I have my 3 year old help with laundry. If you make the connection she may chill or not but it’s something . Good luck.
She may have a sensory problem take her to a specialist. Some people can’t wear certain clothes and fabrics.
Your trying to control every aspect of her life. Give her some freedom. Who cares if her clothes match?
As a mom i have learned to pick and choose my battles. Clothes to me is not a battle that is worth it. I only control what i know i can to make her a better person. At this point i dont give a crap what she wears. Its her trying to express herself.
Pick your battles. As long as clothes are weather appropriate and it’s not family picture day who cares what she wears lol my teen still goes for the homeless look half the time and my 11 yr old only wears underwear half the time. Pooping is a control issue. It’s one thing SHE can control. One of my older boys wore a Batman cape every day for 6 solid months. I’d anyone mentions her clothes. Just say. She is finding her own style
I agree with most of the parents on here. Let her wear what she would like. But one of those things I would definitely look into his sensory. My oldest son has sensory issues and couldn’t wear certain materials. So check that she maybe is itchy wearing certain materials.
Don’t kids her age change clothes several times in a day? I thought that was normal behavior at that age…
as for peeing on herself and throwing fits, it sounds like… she might need a soothing corner and may be feeling along of frustration as well… maybe she’s bouncing the energy you are giving her…?! Not trying to make you feel bad… can you get a sitter, do one on one time? Have some mommy time too… may take a few breaks…
Clothes is a battle I just wont have. If we are going no where then they can wear whatever they like. If we are going somewhere then they chose what they like and when they come out if they are wearing clothes that are in decnt shape and age appropriate we are good to go if not then i poi t out what they need to change and why. They chose the replacements. Sometimes it takes a while to get the right outfit but after a bit they know what is and is not acceptable for going out of the house and they put together an outfit that both of us can live with. They know what they like, what feels good on thier skin, just because it looks cute doesnt mean they feel good or comfortable in it.
Also nothing wrong with her helping to do the laundry. Its a good way for her to learn that her choices can make more or less work for herself.
It’s called my independent age let her wear what she wants. Gives her a sense of her own also self expression. Yet a little spank won’t hurt
Who cares if it matches like her pick out stuff without guidelines for a little while. Take away the not weather Appropriate items
She has control issues… evident in the clothing choices and bathroom practices. Start letting her choose everythjng, even benign things. What bowl she wants, what cup, who goes first up the stairs, what towel to use… everything. It will be time consuming for awhile, but it will make her feel like she has some control and she will ease up on the other stuff.
Pick your battles…this is how my 4 year old dressed last summer. I can usually get him to wear something slightly better for school and such but he is a kid and there are more important things in life than perfect dressed child…just my opinion of course🤷♀️
I refused to let my mom pick out or even suggest what I would wear starting at that age… I would throw tantrums the whole 9. The only thing that worked was my mom letting me wear whatever I wanted no matter if it matched or not. Idk why I did this and I hope my daughter doesn’t start but good luck I hope it’s a phase she’s going through.
Put her clothes away …a place she cannot see them or even knows about… Have her clothes laid out… One set… Either she wears them or she is naked… No fighting or screaming… Just one set of clothes to choose from and go on about your day…
Don’t make her match. That’s not at all important. Let her pick her clothes. Put away weather inappropriate clothes. Wait for specialist. Pick your battles She is 3.
I say let her wear what she wants. I had the same struggle when my girls were younger.
I then started giving options once I started getting to know their style. I picked out 2-3 outfits that more less matched but I also knew she would like.
Best of luck! Kids are kids 
We just learned in my Early Childhood Education class to give her 2 options to choose from but be willing to follow through with her choices. give her 2 options for shirt, pants, underwear, socks etc. Even if they don’t match, let her make the decision. children at that age are just trying to be more independent, so let her.
Discipline her. If you don’t spank, make her pick up her toys. No tv. Corner. Time out.
My 4 year old girl went through such a phase of dressing herself every single day like 10x & more outfits a day! I feel you mama it’s so stressful all the washing every damn day! It was just a phase, she still likes to get dressed a few times a day now if she gets mucky cause she can’t stand being mucky so can’t blame her for that but my gosh it was so exhausting! I hope it’s just a phase for you, let her express herself in whatever she feels comfortable instead of what’s ‘fashionable’ xx
I’m confused…when the hell ever has it been right to allow our children to throw tantrums and kick and scream and throw a fit over anything…let alone clothes?! She is a CHILD! you’re the parent… you don’t have to compromise with a 3 year old… yes let her shine and show imagination… but if you’re helping her pick clothes or make good decisions and she still does that… something is wrong… Please stop telling this lady she is controlling her kid…and needs to let her basically do whatever she wants…
Why are you stressing yourself out fighting with her over what clothes she wears, pick your battles, as long as she’s got clothes on don’t worry what it looks like
I really hate to say it, but sometimes bathroom issues like this and sudden behavioral changes can be a sign of sexual abuse happening. I would look into every option before thinking she’s just acting out to be naughty.
Have you tried bribery? Positive reinforcement? We used m & m’s. 3 for peeing in the potty, 4 for pooping. As for the clothing, who cares of she matches? You or her. She’s trying to express herself.
Stick her in a diaper n put the clothes back on her. You’re the parent not her
Let her be her own person … It’s not gonna hurt her not to match. Dont stress over the little things… My daughter Will b 5 end of this month and has been picking out her own outfit since she was 2 as long as it’s weather appropriate I see nothing wrong with it.
If we are at home my almost 5 yr old is literally just in her underwear. I let all my kids pick out their clothes. If they dont want to match idgaf they have clothes on.
Prayers are your answer good luck
Could all be from sensory overload. Worth looking into.
Leave her in her pajamas
I’ve always let my kids choose their own clothes (weather appropriate of course)when they were old enough to dress themselves. I’ve always felt it made them more independent and happier with themselves doing it that way. It’s not hurting anyone. I took a parenting class, after I already had 5 kids and using this method. In the class we went over this scenerio…it let’s them feel freedom because us parents are always bossing them around for everything else.
Pick your battles. The only person who cares if her clothes match, is you. You’re the one suffering for battling her on it… let it go. Let her wear what she wants. All of it, shoes and socks included. Kids need some control too and the bowel movement issue is how she’s exercising that control since you won’t let her pick her clothes. Relax and give a little, everyone will be happier.
pick your battles or try a chart system if she uses the potty give her a sticker and once she fills her chart take her some where to get a cheap toy I dont advise uses candy as a prize cuz it could lead to child obesity that’s what my doctor told me charts are a good way of tracking and kids love picking out toys even if it’s at a dollar store
You know when I was little, I had a split at the top of my rectom, & I would hold myself, because it was painful to go. Maybe the suppository, adds a little comfort to her rectom in order to go. As far as the clothes thing, I would let her wear what she wanted to. She is trying to declare her independence.
She may have sensory issues. Maybe something in the outfits like tags or seams are bothering her.
Let her pick what she wants whether it matches or not.
My kiddo wore rain boots every day for over a year. I didn’t care, is there a dress code? If not then pick your battles! She’s probably always going to be eccentric so might as well get use to it now
could be sensory related. my daughter freaks out with tags and socks & the material feeling of some clothes.
Check out the group on Facebook “parenting with Connection” they are so helpful with all things like this and not judgemental in the slightest. They give great advice
U poor thing, talk to u doctor, sounds like she cant help whats she doing, try a counlor
Discipline. It’s your house, your rules. If she doesn’t like the clothes , tough. If she throws a fit, take control. If she pees them, make her clean the mess.
Lol out of 7 kids l had 2 that didn’t like wearing clothes at home all good but encourage to wear Nickers or bathers and one that refused to wipe her own butt lol l had to laugh now but at the time horrible so in saying that they do grow out of it ok some kids just don’t like the feel of clothes. When it comes to the toilet sha might have anxiety separation issues not sure just ask the doctor but l used to tell my kid’s to say goodbye to their poops when flushing, anyway good luck but be patient coz when they get older you will wish for these days 
Allow her the independence to wear what she wants unless going out to event etc. Sounds like she’s demanding for that with extreme behaviour. With the toilet holding… Sit in the bathroom with her on the toilet… Sing songs, read a book etc, allow her to relax, feel safe & encourage her may just give results you’re after. Mama, relax a little as a parent too… Sometimes we are so fast to think something is wrong with our children… When in fact our parenting approach needs to be checked.
Narrow down her choices by leaving only a few outfits in her closet or dresser. Switch them out every few days
She just needs help… I know this feeling along with other parents hop things get less stressful
Sounds like she has a sensory disorder! A friends daughter doesn’t like clothes, she prefers to be in her undies all day, all due to how the clothes makes her feel. This could cause her to hold in her urine and poop. Behavior Specialist is a good start!! Good luck!
Sounds like sensory issues, I would have her evaluated. Ask her primary doctor for a referral. Hang in there mama.
There is a great book out there called “Kids Are Worth It”. Give it a look!
I had one son who had to wear his red Power Ranger outfit every day. Either over his clothes or just his boxers. I let him. He wouldn’t poop in the toilet until he was 5. I followed his lead. Turns out he had anxiety, but no words to describe his feelings. He is now a well adjusted 21 year old who knows his limitations.
Then there is his younger sister - she HATED anything I chose for her to wear. Screamed. Cried. Undressed. So each morning I allowed her to choose her own clothes & shoes. She hated having her hair fixed (I insisted it at least be clean and brushed). Once she could tell me that hair ties hurt her head, socks bothered her feet, etc I understood her sensory issues. She’s an awesome young woman now who works in a daycare - she “gets it” with the little ones. She is everyone’s favorite teacher/employee. I think my point is to follow your kids lead until they have the words to communicate with you what they’re feeling or afraid of. (A bit of FYI I have 5 kids. The first two, I was the boss. They wore what I said. They played the sports I chose. They both have huge issues with authority and have trouble making some really important decisions about their lives. Now they’re in their 30’s and seem to be “getting it”)
Pick your battles.
Clothing should not be one. Personally I believe one should try and try every thing before medication.
Let her pick her own clothes. Let her have a say in what you buy for her to ware. Some fabrics may irritate her skin she may not like some colors.
Also I would remove all foods that contain dyes. No hotdogs. Ravioli, koolaide, frozen dinners, frozen pizza, fast food, boxed Mack and cheese, and romin noodles and all other junk food like this. Especially foods that contain any red or blue dye. Pretty much go organic. No pre cooked anything. After elemitating these things it will take a month or 2 or 3 to start seeing a difference. Go green.
Talk to her ask her why she does not like her cloths. My grand daughter would take her cloths off too. Turned out it was the tags and some were just itchey all over. She was afraid or the bathroom especially the toilet. Things disappear in there. She could hold her poo for 5 days. We still eat whole foods. She is 9 and is a great kid. But when she eats red dye you can tell. A psychologist is probably a good idea. But don’t give her more drugs just to make it easier. You can’t expect your kids to say no to drugs when they are teens if you give them drugs to make your life easier. Never let her doubt her value or your love for her. good luck.
Pick your battles, this one isn’t worth it. Nobody else cares if her clothes match. Let her have some control. There could also be sensory issues, maybe she picks what she does because it is comfortable.
Your the parent, she’s a 3 year old. Put her in the clothes you want her to wear. Period. If she pees in clothes, put her in a pull up. If she takes them off, put them back on. Dont argue with a 3 year old. I understand its frustrating but you can’t give into fits or they only learn that some crying and kicking will get them what they want. There must be consequences for actions. I know many young moms will say this is harsh ect, or find other reasons for her actions but she’s prolly doing it simply cause she can. We raised 5 daughters. Got to be firm, stay strong and say NO.
I have no advice other then just keep trying I’m sure you are a wonderful mom! It seems like a lot of these sweet people have a lot of good to say hopefully someone’s advice will help you and your little girl out! Good luck!
It’s clothing. Why fight about it? If she wants to look like a mismatched unicorn, why fight it? Have days where can wear whatever she wants but remind her that on whatever day during these times she needs to wear this outfit you pick out. They are smarter than we give them credit for but she should also be able to express herself…or come age 4, you’ll be screwed!
This is what i do, i put out 6 outfits on hangers , i let my 5 yr old pick which she wants each day, but this is only because I want her to make choices, i DO NOT argue with her, she knows my word is law, and i will not and do not tolerate tantrums.
I would only give her the options of 3 outfits each day. You pick them out and lay them out for her. Tell her to pick which one she wants. And as for the bathroom thing. She’s old enough to know that she has to go. You have to be consistent. A lot of parents say they are and they aren’t because they get frustrated and stressed out. I’ve been there but you have to take charge. Your the adult. She is running you at this point and she knows it.
One of the best things you can harbor in q child is their ability to make decisions. If she is picking out her outfits, that is her expressing herself already and trying to confine that shows her that its your 1 way rather than her creative way. Give structure on certain aspects but let her make her choices. It shows she will learn to be independent far quicker!
I’d suggest taking her to a behavioral therapist to maybe see what’s up? Couldn’t hurt. Could just be terrible 3s too. My four n half year old is mayhem. It’s his personality.
I have no suggestions on the bathroom part but for clothes, just let her wear what she wants, kids are always told what they can & cannot do. Give her some room for her own choices & independence. No ones gonna look at your 3yo & judge bc get clothes don’t match.
With the clothes , I think she is seeing that she has control of you. She sees that she has power. Not being mean. I’m s mother of five and have a four year old grandson. Ignore her responses. Lay out clothes and walk away. She knows she can get a reaction.dont let her. You take control and dont give her choices. About toilet issues, again she wants control. Ignore her tantrums. She will go to bathroom. You just can’t give in. Toddlers can be manipulative lil creatures
Try changing her diet I know it sounds crazy but things you eat mess with your mood
My kids I pick a few shirts out and let them pick then I have a few pants and let them pick. Same with underwear and socks. I do not let them chose anything else. That way they get the chance to choose but mom picked it out first so it matches.and not so many desisions. My 4 year old started preschool this year he never had accidents besides for when we were in the car and couldnt get to a bathroom moms fault. He started pooping his pants at school couldnt figure out why. After the 10th time I told him if you do it again moms gonna have to spank if you dont want mom to spank then you will stop pooping your pants. Everyday he says mom I didnt poop or pee my pants and we give a high five. I have a bladder problem and had accidents. I always said I wasnt gonna discipline for accidents but I know he can do it.
My granddaughter won’t wear leggings, tight fitting pajamas, ir any article with sparkles. Throws an absolute fit and has a total meltdown if she is forced. She said they itch. Made no sense until I grabbed her hairy little leg one day. Then i figured it out. The fabric catches the little hairs on her leg and pulls. Kinda like when we don’t shave our legs and wear jeans. That itchy tingling sensation. Now I understand.
In my opinion it very well could be a sensory issue. I know as a mother that there is always an underlying issue for behavior. It is important to continue to try to figure out what is upsetting her. There seem to be more issues with children today than many years ago. Try to find a Dr that is open minded and knowledgeable on current things happening in medicine. If you dont like one you see find another one and so on until you find one that will listen and help. There is no parenting handbook and we cant be an expert in everything so you need resources and tools so that you can succeed. You can also do your own research but be cautious and selective. I dont know that a behavior specialist is the routw I would go. I would look into sensory issues and maybe some Pediatric Occupational Therapy. This must be overwhelming. Just breathe and know that you are trying and doing the best you can. Pullin for you! Hang in there!