Needing advice about my wife and I's sex life?

While on the subject the other day…I do not have a micropenis but am definitely below average. I have asked my wife about it, and she says she’s fine with my size but also bought me an “extender” to wear and had def changed our sex life. I feel like she just lied to me and seeing her reaction to something so much bigger…do I just let it go because she’s finally pleased or calls her out. TIA

205 Likes

As a woman with a man with an actual micro penis… There was a time when i thought it didnt matter, but here we are 5 years down the road and im learning it does kind of bother me. I wont leave him bevause hes a great guy who loves and adores me and vice versa but sex is horrible. I dont have the drive tbh… He also does not have stamina. He is 30 seconds at best and to me its not worth it.

I need to know, what is an extender and does it work?

Also if shes happy id leave it alone. We generally do not care about all tjat. Like i said it wont make me leave him but the sex life is just noj existent.

Okie dokie— real life therapist coming at ya!

First, I think you should consider a couple of things:

  1. do you REALLY care if SHE cares? Or
  2. do YOU really care you and worry that she does, too?

Those are 2 very different things. For 1: you asked her a question and she answered it. For 2: that’s projection of your own fears and assuming she has a negative view because you feel negative about it.

Now, let’s look at the question— Was it a helpful question? Was the answer useful?? Logically, there are 2 options for moving forward as you’ve stated: 1) leave it alone or 2) talk it out.

1st— if you talk it out, first consider reasonable alternatives to her responses.

She’s already said she doesn’t care about your size and loves you the way you are. (Question answered). Now, she could be lying to spare your feelings bc she DOES care, or she’s telling the truth bc she does NOT care.

Also, buying an extender could mean a lot of things:
-Maybe… she sees and acknowledges your feelings and insecurity about your size and wants to give you the option to use an extender for your own confidence…
-Maybe… she sees the opportunity to add a new sex you to your sex life to make it more enjoyable for the both of you
-Maybe… she is feeling curious about how you and she would feel if you were using the extender during sex
-Maybe… she doesn’t think anything of it and bought it only because you said something and believes it will make you feel better
-Maybe… Maybe… a lot of things. Right?

Get your thoughts and feelings together BEFORE trying to pitch a convo tag to talk it out. You are right to have any thought and feeling you have, but remember: SO. IS. SHE. So, try to be lovingly mindful of that when you broach this topic as it’s typically difficult for EVERYONE. Sex is a tough talking topic. Trust me!

Do NOT try to have this talk before, during or soon after sex. It should be in the middle of a random normal time. Like… cooking dinner or washing dishes or when she’s taking a bath (you get the idea) and start with something like this: Ex) “Hey babe, I’ve been thinking more about this “I’m feeling insecure about my size” thing, and I know I’ve asked you about it, and I’m really glad you helped answer that question, but I think I’d really like to talk more about it sometime bc it bothers me more than I thought it would”.

This gives her (and you) the opportunity to emotionally and mentally prepare for the convo for a later time, if it can’t be then, AND it will likely be less emotionally charged than any time near a sexual encounter between the two of you if you have this convo later.

And back to option 2— let it go.

Honestly, this is just going to reiterate what I already said. You asked her for her opinion, and she told you. No matter how YOU feel about the answer, she did what you asked. AND, giving her the benefit of the doubt, she made a sincereg effort to answer you as lovingly and as honestly as she could.

Could she be lying? Sure. Do you care? Up to you.

If you don’t care if she would maybe “prefer” a different size AND YET still says she loves you, as you are, has zero issues with your sex life and genuinely enjoys herself, what does it matter?

Seriously. Would you tell her you’d “prefer” her 10-15 year-ago vagina?? Uhhh, NO. That’s a hard NO. Like… negative ghost-rider, level NO. We don’t usually talk that way to people we love because even if it’s our honest “preference” for sexual encounters with that person, 1) there’s NOTHING THEY CAN DO TO CHANGE IT and 2) it can’t be unsaid and their feelings can’t be unhurt. So, in the GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS, does it matter? If not, then let it go. If so, circle back to option 1 and work the steps to talk it out.

Like I tell all my patients, there isn’t a wrong or right answer here. It’s just up to YOU. Just be sure to think through the consequences of BOTH OPTIONS so you can best gauge which option is best for you.

Best of luck buddy!

1 Like

Just because she enjoys sex with the extender doesn’t mean she doesn’t enjoy the sex without it :wink:

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Needing advice about my wife and I's sex life?

I’d let it go, she’s probably just trying to spare your feelings.

34 Likes

Let it go and enjoy it if you want to be happy… prying may start a whole new issue…

8 Likes

Let it go. Be happy you found a way to satisfy her needs. That’s awesome.

26 Likes

Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to…

46 Likes

If she says she’s happy then beleive her. Worrying about it will cause confidence issues and possibly fights. Just be open to trying new things and make sure she’s being pleased

18 Likes

I would look at it as YOU are pleasing her , whether its with toys or not, she is not cheating and enjoying it so I think its a good thing.

31 Likes

Be happy she’s happy!

7 Likes

Maybe she brought it to build your confidence and enjoying it more because she feels like you’re happier with the extender? :woman_shrugging:

I don’t necessarily think she has lied to you, possibly trying to make you feel more confident? I’m sure if you explained your feelings and talked about it you would see this. I can’t help but feel that the issue is your confidence all round.

21 Likes

I’d let it go. Because she was probably ok with it. But seeing how you were displeased figured she would get something to make you feel better.

8 Likes

If your wife is now satisfied, why does it matter how it happens? She’s still using your dick, just adding a little :sparkles:finesse​:sparkles:

It’s still you so be happy.

4 Likes

Look into foreskin restoration. Circumcision affects the female partner as well.

4 Likes

Its not her fault you have a small penis…what do you want to call her out on? Be glad that woman is with you, damn.

Maybe she bought it thinking it would make YOU feel more confident. Shes your wife, talk to her about it…

26 Likes

Do you ask her to wear lingerie, or to do a specific technique during sex? Sometimes variety is all a person is asking for. Maybe she couldn’t orgasm and loves you enough to not want to hurt your feelings if that’s the case. The extender is keeping her pleased and in turn making your sex life fire. Don’t let insecurities make you feel inadequate. Talk to your WIFE and be direct. Tell her that you are insecure and would like sex sometimes without the extender. Ask her does she receive more pleasure from it. Embrace the fact you guys are intimate. Communication is key with your sexual partner for a healthy, happy relationship.

Decide if it is that important to you.

3 Likes

I highly doubt she married you for your penis but, rather because she loves you. If it changed your sex life for the better… I wouldn’t dwell on it. Move on and enjoy!

Let go its not WORTH the pain later!!! Eventually this will get thrown up in your face :heart:

1 Like

I’d talk to her 🤷 if my husband told me I was tight enough but then went out and bought me tighten cream I’d ask questions. Just buying something like that would make me feel like he lied.

12 Likes

Let it go . She loves you and reassured you :purple_heart:

1 Like

I can understand your side wanting to question. I’m going to go ahead and say yeah she probably was not 100% but if she is now just embrace it

3 Likes

She probably loves you for how you are but once you to be happy and confident and also doesn’t want to hurt your feelings but I might feel better if it’s bigger… Even though she would love you either way.

1 Like

I don’t think that is an appropriate question to be asking on Facebook.

13 Likes

Wife’s happy so enjoy

4 Likes

Let It go . Different strokes for different folks… don’t take it as a personal thing or make it a big deal. With age sometimes individuals just like a bit of excitement or new things …if it’s working now for both of you Just enjoy it

5 Likes

Get over yourself lol

8 Likes

Let it go. Lots of couples use things in the bedroom to help them get where they want to be,its nothing against you

13 Likes

distract her with other things? add toys or use your mouth to please her?

3 Likes

Your insecurities are causing you to want to bring this up to her because now you know she reacts differently to the extender. It’s so natural to feel this way. You have to let go of what you can not change. Don’t worry :heart: just work on that tongue game let that be unmatched :smirk: :wink: I was with a man with a smaller tingy before and tbh we had some of the best sex cause of how I felt about him. Don’t let your insecurities overtake your sex life cause then both of you will have it in your mind when you’re doing it.

Let it go and f her harder.

22 Likes

Just be grateful that there is such a devise to help you with your situation.

5 Likes

Let it go, as a woman she is probably worried about your confidence and nothing to do with her.

5 Likes

Happy wife, happy life. U

1 Like

Ummm… Sorry about this but I’m curious on what an extender is. Just never heard of that before

9 Likes

Happy wife happy life?

1 Like

I mean, does it really matter? Dude, she loves you for you. Be happy that she bought a penis extender and isn’t out here trying to f**k someone with a bigger :eggplant:.:woman_shrugging:t4:

My ex actually had a micro penis. He never tried to accommodate my needs because he had such a complex. This was more disappointing than the actual size. Let it go and figure out what other things y’all can do to please each other

Just be glad she got you an extender and didn’t spend your life together cheating on you. She didn’t lie, her love for you made your penis size a non issue for her hit having the luxury of living in a time where there are options like this for you I think your wife was very tactful and caring about you and your feelings in how she handled it.

I’d call her out for lying

8 Likes

This was definitely my husband with my boobs I always asked if he wished they were bigger he said no I love them the size they are now. Now that they’re Es he was in heaven :rofl: I think it’s more so it’s something new if that makes sense they get so use to what they have that it’s exciting seeing it in a new light lol

It seems like she’s making the most of your situation and yet you’re trying to find a reason to pick HER apart?! Smh. Grow up and let it go.

33 Likes

Bottom line she loves you. I would just let it go. Pick your battles ya know.

2 Likes

If y’all are happy with it leave it alone. No sense in arguing. :heavy_heart_exclamation:

3 Likes

Rosie Formoso Soto :joy:

1 Like

What do you feel your gut is telling you? Go with that

What is an extender?

5 Likes

Maybe TMI , but a woman gets different pleasures depending on size, shape and girth.I actually get more pleasure from a smaller penis because of the area that my G spot is located.But deeper penetration is pleasurable too.We are designed to pro- create and the closer to the uterus the more likely( our body/ brain tells us) the better chance of pregnancy.I would say she is just wanting to spice it up for both of you.Ive had my share of different sizes and still prefer medium size. My husband bought me a big “toy” thinking I would like it and it sat in a drawer for years until I threw it out.My advice? Lots of I love you’s, kisses on the neck, knees or whatever she likes. Foreplay starts at the beginning of each day.Treat her with respect and kindness.Talk to her during lovemaking. That is what most women that I know want.

I hate all the negative comments on this post. Do you know how hard it must have been for him to ask…

Honestly she must truly love you… She was probably completely happy with the sex but once you voiced your concern she wanted to make you feel better about it. And yes it was probably pleasurable for her its just feels different. Doesn’t mean you need to use it everytime. Different toys for different days/moods

1 Like

Some of these replies are disgusting. I feel that maybe she hasn’t lied, but that she got you the extender as a gesture to you… like, hey look, I know you’re self conscious so maybe you can try this.

It’s all well and good saying to let it go or happy wife happy life, but your feelings matter too. I’d suggest having a conversation with her and appropriately express how her getting that has made you feel and see why she got it. Could be harmless.

Just know how you feel is valid.

68 Likes

Maybe she was completely satisfied before the extender, but bringing in something new added some excitement she wasn’t expecting. It’s not that you’re not satisfying her, it may just be the element of “new” that’s doing it now.

13 Likes

This could open up all kinds of new fun for you both. Go out and buy new toys for you both. Explore the possibilities. You please her and best believe she gonna give it back. Have fun and dont let it get to you.

4 Likes

Listen to none of these women, she lied and needs to be called out. You also DO NOT have to wear the extender if you don’t want too. Period. Ever woman on here defending her is just as bad and would lose their shit of the rolls were reversed. In fact I’ve seen it.

Well there is a nother option. You could get a surgery where they actually pulled the couple extra inches that you have that are under your skin yes it is painful but that way she is okay with it and you are okay with it at the same time

5 Likes

She probably only got the enhancer because she knows your self conscious. Its a turn off when your not confident in yourself. Let it be. I promise its okay!

1 Like

She could have just fucked a dude with a bigger dick and not been nice enough to make y’all’s sex work.

5 inches is average. Don’t worry, she loves you.

4 Likes

I’d be more paranoid of her cheating tbh but I’d mention it

I honestly think as a wife she is willing to accept you for the way you were. And now you are trying to improve things for her. Life couldn’t be better. Let it go.

14 Likes

Don’t say anything :joy:

1 Like

She loves you for you. Sometimes we need a little bit more. Not always about the size. There are plenty of ways to please a woman. I bet she is not always ganna get you to use the extender. It’s just different we like different. And like new things here and there. I personal would not use an extension. But maybe one day I will. I have big, average and small. I think talking about an issue that is bothering you is important. If you don’t talk about it. It can turn into resentment. Most important thing is that. You are both happy and agree to try new things you both want to try. Having an open conversation about it is important. You both need to feel adequate on the bedroom. Issues need to be talked about. Please talk to her about it, with a suitable tone. You will never know how she truely feels unless you have trust there. Just don’t go on and on about it. Just accept what she says and trust that you can deal with her response, you can’t read her mind. You can only go by what she says.

5 Likes

Emotionally she probably is fine with your size but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t need something a bit bigger so she can have an orgasm once in a while.

12 Likes

She may have just been trying to boost your confidence more. I don’t think she meant to hurt your feelings like she did. She was trying to make sure you felt as good as her in the bedroom about yourself. All you can do is just maybe ask/mention it but not argue over it. Her intentions may have been completely positive for you in her mind. But obviously let her know you feel that way so she can tell you herself as well.

3 Likes

If she’s still with you she obviously doesn’t let that make or break the relationship. She probably gets on top towards the end and gets hers. Believe it or not, women can get off without a penis the size of a grown man’s arm slamming their insides around.
All that to say, just let it go my dude.

She loves you an obviously didn’t lie.

Having the open communication in the bedroom and to have fun and satisfy one another is the fun part. Bringing toys in the bedroom spices things up and makes things more fun. I wouldn’t call her out. Embrace it. She was satisfied before. She wouldn’t lie to you about it.

Just have that open line of communication on different things to try. Change isn’t a bad thing!

No need to “call her out” as I’m sure you’d be the one to end up embarrassed and/or feelings hurt.

17 Likes

Have an adult conversation about it together and try and come to a compromise about the situation and be straight forward about how you feel about it

1 Like

Look I slept with someone who was 6 in. We had the best sex. To me it’s all about sexuak chemistry. But your feelings are valid. Maybe try talking to her M

Wow some immaturity in here!

4 Likes

Whoever laughs at this is rude and disrespectful seriously it takes a lot for someone to come out in this way .

Just go with it! Every couple should experiment with different things and have fun if you trust in each other. Don’t be afraid of yourself… She loves you and is still there💞

2 Likes

Toys and such arent your competitors, theyre friends. Dont take it personally.

24 Likes

Be happy that she stayed and worked with you, regardless. That’s love.

7 Likes

Always communicate with your spouse just let her know how you feel ask her if there is any other way you both can meet in the middle if she would appreciate you being vulnerable it shows your not afraid to show her your feelings with out all the sappy stuff me and my hubby talk to each other so we both get our needs met with out making us feel less than. I hope that helps communication is key in any relationship

1 Like

You need open communication in a marriage so if you go and “call her out” that goes right out the window for her at this point​:woman_shrugging: My husband got us into toys… Its nothing about not being pleased by him, it’s just fun and a nice change of pace whenever he decides to use them. Maybe this could be an opening to you learning to use other kinds of toys to make your sex life better for her and I don’t mean better like you’re not enough, all women want to have their knees shaking every so often​:100::rofl:

No need to let it go
She loves you and made A solution to work for both of you

4 Likes

Her original answer would indicate that she loves you and size is not a deal breaker. Satisfaction is not measured by size but by overall skills.

14 Likes

Maybe she was OK with it until you brought it up. Obviously you have good communication…maybe she did it so you wouldn’t feel so self conscious about it.

4 Likes

Just enjoy the sex. If she wanted different she’d get different but she’s chosen to be with you and found something for you both so don’t dwell. She’s not making an issue so don’t either.

An average length of our vag canal is 3-6 inches

So if your average size of penis is right around 5 to 5.5 inches.

So I would say learn some new moves and work it like you know she likes it :wink::+1:

Mate🤦 look.Get off here,go watch or look up how to please a woman without using your penis.It works.Lesbians do it🤷 and they are happy.And she married you dude so se obviously loves you.Spoil her with flowers,remind her how lucky she is to have you as well. If temptation confronts her she will know what she will lose so make it worth it and it will benefit you both.Youre gonna be okay mate.The size of your bits shouldn’t be the only factor why you don’t deserve her.Im female but it tells me alot and you have reached out now GO ON CHAMP.GO LOVE YOUR WIFE.

Maybe it’s not that it’s done anything maybe your different cos you have more confidence thinking it’s worked , let it go .

4 Likes

Bro let it go. She clearly loves you for you. Nobody said you had to use the extender, but you did. And now you want to get mad at her and accuse her of lying because you tried something new and she likes it? :thinking: that’s literally the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. If you “call her out” you’re going to create problems that weren’t even there in the first place and you’ll be the one embarrassed and hurt :roll_eyes::woman_facepalming:t2:

11 Likes

The fact that she communicated with you shows that she cares about you. Let it go man

10 Likes

Wanna see an even better reaction from her…fist her​:rofl::rofl: yup, I said it​:woman_shrugging:t3::joy:

10 Likes

Boy get over it :joy::joy::joy: what exactly do you think calling her out is going to accomplish? Not a damn thing but start an unnecessary argument because your insecure about your size and have a bruised ego over her reacting differently to an extender :rofl::rofl:

She didn’t “call you out”
Spare her feelings. Like she did yours.

21 Likes

Damn, you really just set her up! This was a no win scenario for her that you engineered. If she says, yes, she does mind, you were going to get mad. If she says no, she doesn’t mind, but gets her a big toy anyway, and she plays dead, you would get mad. When she acts pleased with the new novelty toy, you get mad. What reaction could she have given where you would have been happy? :face_with_monocle:

Your insecurity about your size is something for you to work on. Your wife is not the issue here. You are just trying to externalize the issue onto her. I suggest finding a good therapist who can help you work on a lot of this, and get to what is really going on.

let her know that you would’ve appreciated her telling you that she wanted an extender, instead of saying that she was.okay with your size and then showing that she’s not okay with your size.

other than that…use the thing. :slight_smile:

1 Like

Let it go … it’s okay to spice it up maybe that’s all she wanted have fun with the new toy :yum:

7 Likes

happy wife Happy Life <3

4 Likes

This Is the shit I follow this page for :joy:

Bro let it go.

If she likes it do it sometimes , but if you don’t like it don’t do it every time.

She definitely did not lie to you you can enjoy someone who is not that large whilst enjoying things that are large it’s not a competition you can like apples and oranges :wink:!!

17 Likes

Experiment. Go with it. She obviously cares enough not to embarrass you. She’s enjoying herself, you’re enjoying yourself, don’t ruin it but making an issue. Personally, men with smaller than average penises have been better, because they make an effort instead of just expecting sticking it on and thrusting a few times will be enough

16 Likes

My husband says he would absolutely say something. Not necessarily call her out, but definitely bring it up.

2 Likes

How dare she enjoy that extender you guys wanted to use!!!:sweat_smile::joy::joy::joy:

14 Likes