I’m at my wit’s end. My 5-year-old son is out of control. We have tried everything under the sun to discipline him to try to get him to understand that being destructive is not ok. Every time I turn around he is breaking something, not listening, and just flat out being defiant. For example, just this afternoon, he thought it would be ok to hang from the towel rack in my bathroom and to cause it to break, and his fly backward into my shower and cracking the glass door. He then gets up and just keeps climbing and jumping around even after just injuring himself. I need advice moms, cause I can’t keep doing this anymore.
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I have a couple thoughts. First I would talk to the pediatrician about any possible ADD/ADHD issues. Also, my son who just turned 8, has Autism and he went through a really bad climbing stage. One of his Autism issues is having no fear or safety factor. He always has to have eyes on him.
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You need to take that kid to the doctor because that isn’t typical
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Parent Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) it’s a life saver!
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Wear him out. Go do stuff. Go to the park. Enroll him in an activity. Something.
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Maybe you need to have an evaluation done by a psychologist. My now 6yr old was very destructive, mean etc we found out he has adhd, impulsive control issues and a whole list of other things going on. (He is my bonus child)
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Doesn’t sound like he acts out of anger. He sounds bored. Try providing him with challenges. There’s tons of ideas on line. Crafts, activities, obstacle courses etc. Find his interests.
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I’d take him to get evaluated. If he has anything they can show you how to handle it properly. It’ll take stress off you in the long run and help him as well in the long run.
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What if you asked your pediatrician about a behavioral specialist… they might be able to help you and your son?
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Prevention. Don’t allow him in places he’s not allowed. Put away things he can break.
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How about bust his ass
I agree with having him evaluated but beyond that all I can say is hold on to your ass and know it eventually gets better. I’ve raised 3 sons and every single day I thought they would kill me. We still don’t have nice things because my youngest are 8&9.
Is he getting his energy out? Able to run around outside, ride his bike…
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Can you buy something for him to climb on or take him to park?
And lock the bathroom from outside with a catch he can’t reach. Good luck
My son is 5. He did this exact thing for 2-3 years. I was at my wits end… took him to his pediatrician who sent us to a behavioral psychiatrist. Turns out he has adhd, odd, ocd and bipola… maybe check your child evaluated
If it’s not a medical problem then maybe you need to take him out all day and wear him out… No tv or devices
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He might need some medication…sounds like he’s too wound up
Also no sugar and healthy foods
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Definitely see a dr. Behavior disorder, with adhd
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Sounds like he’s bored or trying to get your attention.
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Check out Dr Ross Greene. Check out The B Team on Facebook.
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You’ve got to remember that he doesn’t understand it they way you do. Swinging on that to him was fun… He was drawn to it with no impulse control… Is he just chosing fun? unable to judge if it will get him into trouble or is it deliberate to get your attention?. Can he express emotions typically and acknowledge fear& danger??
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His answer i bet is cause “I wanted to” my son does this and is odd he is now 8 age 6-7 we had a hard time read about it somethings help
He needs to be evaluated. Sounds like ADHD at its finest or he’s on the autism spectrum. 
Only a specialist can diagnose but I am going through the same thing with my 6 and 4 yr old.
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Does he ever get worn out, or does he just keep going until he falls asleep? My son did a lot of these same behaviors, and he was diagnosed with ADHD. However, each child is different. If you’re concerned, definitely speak to your child’s doctor. Deep breath momma, this too shall pass.
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Limit sugars, find activities that get him moving or keep his mind busy, try positive incentives for good behavior (washable tattoos, stickers, etc.), try asking simple questions about why hes acting out and really listen. If you feel it may be something he cant control talk to your doctor. Most doctors wont force a medication on you if you’re not comfortable with giving it to your child. I hope you can find some relief and some answers.
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Have you always discipline him or just recently
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Sounds like you need to see his pedretric dr and have an honest talk with and have you son evaluated before he does harm to himself or others. Catch it now xx he could get worse…
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My daughter is my wild child. Not to that extent, so I would honestly see about evaluating him with your doctor, but she’s always into stuff, always making messes, always touching stuff she shouldn’t. I don’t allow her in places she is prone to doing this, and I also out away anything I personally value. Up until last year I kept all my toiletries in my room closet, locked away because she loved to pour them down the drain. All my trinkets qnd things I want to save to display from family or ones that have passed are also put away, so that she won’t break them. People may think I baby her but really its for everyone’s sanity and safety. She is almost 6, but thats still tiny to me. She needs guidance just as your son does. The first thing I’d do is sit him down and ask him why he does the action, then explain why he can’t do that anymore, and set expectations for the future and follow through. Something like “why did you do ___? Well, mommy doesn’t like that this got broken because now mommy has a mess to help you clean, and also you could get hurt! Mommy loves you too much to let you get hurt. If this happens again, your favorite ____ will be taken for xamount of time”
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I think you should seek help from an expert. My 5 year old could be breaking something though not intentionally but she would right away listen & stop when I start to explode. Kids at that age may go out of control especially when they’re having fun, it takes a lot of patience because they sometimes don’t care how you feel, that’s normal… But if you think he is becoming destructive even if he hurts himself & gets violent or throws a tantrum each time he is reprimanded, you need to have the behavior evaluated for early intervention.
Everyone be wary of Ken Davidson he is asking for everyone to ask send him a friend request, dont do it. Its a scam and looks very much like a fake profile.
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My son was the same way…I had him evaluated medically. He came in JUST UNDER the spectrum. BUT they offered a boat load of help. We also got him on an IAP plan at school. The school board and pPsychologist evaluated him and ran test. I’m happy to say, with hard work and dedication, we have gotten him under control. With NO medication and Tons of school, loving discipline and strict structured environment… things have gotten a MILLION times better.
Also, I understand how you feel. I was so scared all the time with my son, so afraid to wake up and see what he destroyed or afraid of him taking off. We couldn’t even go out to eat without him causing so much of a fuss. But trust me when I say, recruits some help… medically and at his school. They will get a plan going for him to help him. And EARLY intervention is KEY!!!
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Sounds like any attention is good attention to this child. Mine was like that. He was impossible for years… still can be. You just get to a point where you can’t handle it. And the worst part is you still have to. My son was diagnosed with ODD, ADHD and autism. He’s the sweetest kid. Until he isn’t. Thankfully his medication regimen is mostly working… but it’s taken years to get to this point.
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I would look at his diet, maybe see a holistic practitioner and see he getting everything he needs nutritionally, good gut health, adequate sleep. Keep him busy, he needs something to keep him occupied. Tucker him out. Is it possible to build a adventure type plat ground for him to climb and swing and jump from or take him somewhere he can do that. Once hes tuckered out he might settle enough to do an activity that stimulates him mentally. If all above fails go see a doctor. Good luck, sending positive vibes 
I agree with Tammy. See a good Pediatrician that looks beyond medications, .also might have food allergies. Milk allergy can cause brain swelling and outbursts!
Has he been evaluated? Sounds similar to mine at that age.
He has received ALOT of help thru a combination of ADHD meds, Natural alternatives, and he did counseling to help with impulse control.
UPSIDE… By being able to help these issues… We found out he is actually a projected genius😲 He in the past year, he has had major ivy league colleges and the government head hunting him😲 He is 8, and currently attending the STEM Institute.
So glad I got him the help he needed, if I hadn’t, I promise you we would be on a much different path.
Prior to getting him help, he was going to be kicked out of his special ed program for behavior at school, and sent an hour away.
NOW they are projecting him to possibly graduate 3/4 years EARLY.
Currently working on a 30 page paper on Biomedical Engineering, SOMETIMES getting them help is the best gift you can give your whole family.
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My daughter is EXACTLY the same way when she is with me. However, when she goes to other peoples houses without me, they say shes the perfect child but for me its exhausting. I feel like all I ever do is have to discipline her and it makes me feel awful.
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Sounds like Oppositional Defiance Disorder. You need to talk to your doctor and have him assessed by a child psychologist. If he has no boundaries at 5 it doesn’t get easier to develop self and impulse control later.
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I’d be finding a good child therapist and dr to work on seeing whats causing it. My son was like that. Even put his foot through a glass table. Fond him in bathroom putting band aids on a cut that needed 10 stitches. He would put his hands on top of stop top that was turned on high. He was 3 then. Spent 6 months in a treatment center at age 6 because he was so out of control. Found out he was adhd, odd, bipolar and had epsolipsy. Got him on a couple of meds and schedule and therapy three times a week and special school and he is now off meds and a great guy. But it took us about 4 drs before we found the right ones to work with him.
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How much physical activity does he get? Any child will be bouncing off the walls when not having an outlet for their energy. Redirecting negative energy use into a positive activity works well and wouldn’t be felt as a punishment by the child.
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It may be more than adhd. Does he feel pain?? He may have more intense mental disabilities
Has he been tested for adhd
Get him evaluated for adhd and odd
ADHD… see their pediatrician and let them know. There could be something off and something that he/she cant control.
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First of all good on you Mum for asking for help!
It sounds like you are dealing with a lot, personally I would take him to a pediatrician and see what they say, they may do some tests on him to see if there is any underlying issues and go from there, hang in there Mum
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Sound like me he has ADHD but i am know dr
And if the doctors don’t find any explanation, if he’s behaving this way simply because (pardon my language) he’s just wanting to be a little a-hole. An eye for an eye. Take his stuff away at the value of each item he breaks. $50 towel bar? $50 worth of toys into a trash bag. But start with his most favourite stuff- video games, favorite T-shirt, etc. Hide the bag. Tell him whatever he doesn’t earn back- in chores- gets given away to children who behave and listen. At 5 he is old enough to do breakfast dishes (by hand), clean windows, take the garbage out with an adult, load clothes into the laundry machines etc.
Halloween is coming?! Tell him he can’t go/ or do/ have whatever is being done given the Covid situation. No tv time. No video games. No play time with friends. Be firm. Hold your ground.
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Can you call his Dr? He might do an evaluation for adhd or odd. You just described my 15yr old. (At that age) yrs 4,5, and a lil bit of 6 was pure hell. Diagnosed at 6 with extreme adhd. Finally found the right meds, and its made it so much easier. Its still hard, dont get me wrong. But it can help you understand. Can’t hurt to ask. I would say, tire him out. Exhaust him. But my bet is… nothing does!?! Just dont give up. I also learned a prescription for xanax was also helpful for MYSELF!! 
watch 911 nanny. she has some methods
Like everyone else said, get him evaluated. My 6 year old has ADHD and ODD. Just having that dx and behavioral therapy has been immensely helpful.
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Definitely ask for evaluation for ODD and ADHD. My niece will do things like this with no remorse whatsoever. And to discipline is almost impossible. Good job reaching out. There’s good advice on here. I’ve also heard a chiropractor can do wonders.
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Momma I know it is hard, I have been in your shoes. One of my three boys was just like this. We consulted doctors and they put him on meds and they all did the same thing, made him a zombie or had the adverse reactions. He would actually fight for blood with his brothers. We worked together with a therapist who came to the home and she helped all of us put a schedule and strict rules I place for all 4 kids. With structure he did so much better. Knowing consequences helped too as he LOVED his superheros. He would hurt someone for touching them but they were the first to go if he acted up. He did get better. Today he is 22 and a daddy to a beautiful toddler. She may be repeating his steps but we know how to nip it in the butt earlier than him. I’ll pray for you hun. Stand your ground, you’ll get through. The road is rough but it will smooth out.
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I would talk to Dr about ADHD and maybe o.d.d. which is oppositional defiance disorder my daughter the same way except her bipolar makes her violent
I would say, wow, you broke such and such, it kind of made me sad and hurt my feelings, would you be sad if I broke this? And when he says no, break it !!!
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Sounds like misdirected energy. Definitely consider more outside time and sports. Art and building things. Let him help you with chores and maybe add a reward system. Limit sugar and eat healthy as possible as that can also be a huge factor. Most importantly keep going and keep the faith!
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Talk to your doctor. He may need to be accessed for asd and adhd x
Wowza! Hope you find a solution but just a reminder due to the amount of other comments. The days norm is to “blame the child” “state that there must be something wrong with them” & most never look at themselves as parents & how they parent. The world is a complicated place for a child to understand & if even the basics are unbalanced (solo parent etc) can have huge unpleasant manners come to surface within our children. Love him, firm discipline, consequences when rules broken or unwanted actions, change how you manage, interact etc with him & the world around you. You may just see a difference. And remember no one knows how to parent, every day is a lesson learnt & change of approach is a must xx.
Teach (the definition of discipline) a lesson. Every time he breaks something that doesn’t belong to him… Break something of his. It sounds harsh. But in reality he doesn’t understand what he’s doing.
Common sense says… He won’t understand hitting hurts unless hes been hit.
Same thing. He won’t understand he is tearing things up until something of his is destroyed
My 5 year old was out control the doctor there couldn’t address until she was 6 so I no help so was goig mind so to i try and do something so change her diet but cutting of food high colouring and anything with add sugar in it it really help with behaviour x
Give him coffee w cream and sugar. Sit him down to play a game or do a project. Jurlst one cup. And after awhile another. And before bed.if it doesn’t work he isn’t ADHD or hyper.
Get him evaluated, but in the meantime make sure he’s not having any caffeine/sugar after noon in case it’s from that. Make sure to get him outside every day for a few hours. Also, spend a day with him. Like, a day just for him, where you give him all the attention and spend time with him. Observe how he responds to your attention and the things happening around him.
He may have a defiance disorder
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A good spanking works wonders
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Pediatrician recommended therapist and possible medications. Oppositional Defiant Disorder can be helped with counseling and may out grow eventually start now
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See a therapist for oppositional defiant disorder. Start therapy now and they will likely grow out of it.
Sounds like Oppositional Defiant Disorder, make an appt w/your kid’s pediatrician to get diagnosis, therapy and counseling can work wonders. Good luck Mom!!
Maybe take him out to play more, probably gets mad bored .
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Belt to the bottom, works wonders
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First thing is talk to the pediatrician. It may be nothing more than boredom.
Tried everything? How often and length of time? I see many parents say that but their discipline methods vary throughout the day and length of time for trying is not enough to warrant results. More information is needed before yelling out defiance disorder or bad parenting.
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I would talk to a behavioral specialist about this for one his pain tolerance sounds like he has a high pain tolerance with adhd or add. My youngest has autism and he has a very high pain tolerance and dose not see danger like we do. I’m not saying it’s autism just noting the possible similarities. A behavioral specialist should be able to help figure out what’s going on if anything. Stay consistent with punishments for bad behaviors and I always explained why whatever they had done or where doing was bad. Hugs mama you got this
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I would take all his toys & put them where he cant get them & only leave him a cpl reading books, when he wants his toys back make him earn them back by listening to you & being good
All these moms mad about spanking but will shove a pill down a child’s throat in a split second 
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As a parent who literally tried everything to avoid having my child diagnosed with something, I finally broke down and talked to his pediatrician. He was putting himself and others in danger and it had to stop. He has ADHD and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. He literally could not stand himself much less others. The minute he started medication he became my sweet little boy again. One who would listen, understand, respond to requests, not try to stab his kindergarten teacher in the eye with a pencil and destroy his siblings things “to be mean” (his words). I HATE that I fought it for so long because ultimately HE was more miserable than anyone else. Please talk to your pediatrician.
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I’m just saying, my parents took the belt, the paddle, the hand, a shoe, the yard stick, whatever was in reach, whenever I got my ass whooped and I turned out just fine. I do not personally believe it is abuse. I’m not afraid of my parents nor do I have any lingering “trauma”. Now obviously I’m not saying to like beat the frick out of your kid but. A couple swats on the ass to let them know you mean business isn’t going to traumatize them or kill them.
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He may have a mental disorder. Take him to a doctor and a psychiatrist to have him evaluated.
Look at ODD there’s behavioral therapy
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my kids are never beaten or spanked or whipped and they behave there’s other methods then scaring kids into submission
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Just FYI i had my kids on these meds and they hated it. Plus they lost to much weight. Try CBD calming oil. Its healthier and better than shoving those pills down their throat. Do your research. Praying you find the help he needs.
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I would make an appointment with his pediatrician to have him evaluated for ADHD and maybe even ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). It sounds like he has a lot of pent-up energy and is having trouble really listening and understanding.
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When my daughter was younger she would have these melt downs. I started to see a pattern. It was triggered by red dye in drinks. I stopped all drinks that has the red dye it
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My son is 7 and was the same way I put him in taekwondo and horseback riding lessons it has done wonders! Both activities are teach self control and positive reinforcement
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Sounds very much like ADHD and possibly AUTISM.
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Is he on the spectrum? My son has autism and is exactly like this when he has a meltdown or when stemming. Including the high pain tolerance which is normal for kids on the spectrum. I would definitely talk to his pediatrician and they may do some kind of behavioral analysis. If he is on the spectrum does he go to any types of therapy now?
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Do the normal, take everything away, spank him, ground him, etc. those don’t work, talk to his dr. Something else could be going on.
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Nurtured Heart Approach by Howard Glasser.
Im in grad school to be an LMFT and I work in mental health with foster youth. This approach works miracles!
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Try getting him too a psychologist, start the ball rolling, (school should provide this) then make dr ap too have referall for a peads… they will test him for autism and add adhd… good luck hun xo
I have a son aged 10 and he’s is the best boy but he only ever finds trouble if he has nothing to do. When he has something to do he’s no trouble. We always keep him busy with sports and activities.
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You need to get help, behavior therapy before it gets worst. Reach out.
Get him tested for ADHD. It sounds like he needs professional help.
Have you beat that butt?
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Have u tried child therapy? I would take all his stuff our the bedroom. Just bed. Lock ur bedroom off and bathroom and keep it locked away. He can have 1 towel, and bring him tooth brush at teeth time. Reward him with his stuff but if he breaks it that’s it he have to wait till he is chill again
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Honey, it gets better but make it easier on yourself and start counseling and mental health now.
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Consistency is key! Don’t threaten- don’t ask- tell- hour the parent, but if your not consistent it won’t matter
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Following, I have the same problem with my 6 year old daughter. She throws chairs in glass, pencil boxes, she throws awful tantrums at home and school. We are seeing a counselor, practice yoga, and hand tinkering toys for school. It’s tough! Especially being a single mom of 3. I’m being pulled out of work often to go to her school. At one point they thought I was a abusing my child and her school contacted CPS on me. Overwhelmed mom. 
That’s my 6 year old!
For all you parents, it might be tough but beating a child or whooping them doesnt teach nothing but bad self esteem.I agree with see the dr.
Give activities like soccer or swimming.Dont think I dont know these children are highly intelligent and learn a little different.My grown son graduated with great grades in high school,became a supervisor for a shop.Seems like youll never see a better child but they do become great adults patients mamas its hard but they need you on thier side for now
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I don’t like to say, but maybe he should be tested for ADHD.
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Decide what your punishment is going to be for when he does stuff like that and stick to it EVERY time. Do not give in no matter how hard it is or what he says or does. If he doesn’t listen for first consequence, have a backup one that u use immediately after. (ie if u pick timeout as 1st consequence if he doesn’t stay on the chair or whatever then immediately go to phone taken away/grounded/no tv/whatever will make him think twice about not listening). You have to set up the boundaries so he knows the consequences. Come up with the set of rules that you want him to follow and be consistent with them. For like the first month be super super strict with the rules u set and the consequences to get him into the routine (and stay consistent from there on out). But you also have to use positive reinforcement so if he listens, have him finish his consequence (ie time out for 5 mins or whatever), then reward him. Do not reward bad behavior ever. If he’s not listening he doesn’t get to do fun stuff. Then once you get set for some time and he knows what to expect, I start doing more rewards and then find an equilibrium long-term. I’m a single mom. This is what saved me I consistently get compliments on how well behaved my kids are, respectful etc from other parents. It’s just consistency is all.
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You need to get him evaluated. It sounds like he’s bored and doesn’t know how to utilize his time.
I hope you find out why. God Bless you both💖