Needing advice on raising my granddaughters

I’m 62 and raising my two granddaughters.They are 14 and 18 years old They keep telling me that it’s ok to hang out with males instead of females. They say that boys are more fun than girls. They tell me that I am old, and it’s not like it was when I was a teenager. I’m just old school. And I think it’s not right for girls to hang with boys. So who is right in this situation???

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They are right. There is no reason girls and guys can’t hang out and be friends.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum! Needing advice on raising my granddaughters

I think it’s ok to hang out with both I use to when I was teenager

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Im 33 now but when I was 18-19 I had more guy friends than girl friends.

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Why would it not be ok? That’s some old fashion thinking.

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I’m 38 and married have lots of male friends.

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My two best friends at age 13/14 were boys.mainly because I preferred to be doing stuff they did and not “girly” stuff.

It’s like saying grown adults should be friends only with the same gender :woman_shrugging:

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I have a hard time believing this is real…62 is not THAT old…def not old enough to where I’d believe a child of the 60s and 70s would still hold these beliefs

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I see nothing wrong with it. Its 2021 not 1970

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I hung out with guys (I’m 55)

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When I was 18 I had more guy friends that girl friends. I don’t see the issue. It’s possible for the opposite sex to be just friends. :woman_shrugging:

Well one of them being 18, theirs nothing you can do to control them. My advice would be to get to know their friends! Invite them over for dinner or to hang out just to get to know them :woman_shrugging:t2:

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As the parent, or guardian, or grand parent, YOU are right. You are the person who sets the rules. If they are trust worthy, then trust them, with boundaries. Talk with them, frequently !! Let them know your concerns.

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I feel your way of thinking is valid. It’s how you were raised. However, in this time and age, males and females can be friends. Growing up, boys were just easier to be around for me. The more you hang out with them, the more they consider you one of the boys. :sweat_smile:

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I don’t understand how this is a right or wrong question, but I think it’s sad they don’t value girls.

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No one is right or wrong. However now a days most female’s are hanging with boys because it’s less drama. Female’s are all about drama. However if you are not comfortable have them come hang out at your house. That way you can watch them interact with each other.

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I always had waaaay more guy friends. But I’m also the only girl in my family. I grew up w all boys so I think I jus understood them better.

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What’s wrong with it? My best friend of nearly 20 years is a man. My son’s have more female friends than male, I have more male friends than females.

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Nothing wrong to hang out with both

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Who cares as long as they are kind and nice human beings, btw they are probably having sex with both genders so I’m not entirely sure what your worried about, just be supportive and make sure they are being ‘safe’

They probably find girls argue (b!tch) more.
I used to hang out with both boys an girls, but boys more when I was younger.
Girls fight over guys to much

I guess it’s more being worried about what they will get up to.

Im 26 and have always had more guy friends then girls, it was way less drama lol to this day my best friend is a guy!

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Met my best friend when i was 12… Hes a boy and still my best friend…

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As long as it’s just friendship. But I have know that males and females if they are friends for a long time that one or the other start having feelings for the other person especially in that age group

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I was also raised by my much older grandparent and I got away with a lot because of that so I’d definitely check into who the boys are but as far as hanging with them I hung with mostly boys too

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So, I believe your values are good and what not, but this is 2021 not the 1950s and your one grandchild is 18 so you basically cant say who an 18 yr old can hang out with. You can be friends with a boy with no sexual attraction. Quit trippin.

Males are much easier than nasty females. I have always had more male friends

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Well the way I see it is whomever is paying the bills is always right. It may be a little old fashioned but it’s also that you want your girls to be responsible and respectable.

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I don’t get along with girls. Im not girly and don’t typically like girl subjects like make-up and dresses. I prefer to hangout with the guys and play computer games, ride bikes or play sports. With a lot of my guy friends I was the only girl that was allowed to stay the night because we would just hangout eat junk food and play XBox. As the guys said “she’s one of the guys”.

Invite their friends over get to know them and set boundaries with the girls about their friends.

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Nothing wrong with that at all.

My daughter is 15 and most of her friends are boys plus one good girlfriend. They are all just super gaming nerds and as long as my daughter feels safe with them I’m ok with it.

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I always had more make friends then female friends when I was younger im 52 now

Well, your house your rules.
If the 18 year old doesn’t like it, she’s an adult and can move out!
14 year old should respect your rules.

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Girl, listen. Times have changed. Boys and girls do hang out together now. But! It really just depends on the kids maturity levels. Are they mature? Have they had the talk yet about boys/periods/sex/the end goal for boys? Like for real, there are factors that you do need to let them know about first. I would let my son hang out with a girl though, under my supervision and I will be speaking with the girls parents.

If your concerned with the males they hang out with ask your granddaughters if it would be ok to meet these males so you can see for yourself why your granddaughters prefer to hang around them, it could be an issue of safety or it could be that your granddaughters find it difficult to make female friends, but you need to be having this conversation with your granddaughters

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I had way more male friends then females growing up. We were only ever friends and so much less drama!! Plus I preferred doing more male oriented stuff over getting my nails done

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Set boundaries and consequences if broken. Like curfews and no boys in rooms with door shut. Things like that. Try to trust them and I commend you for being there for them.

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I’m 38, and 90% of my friends at school were male. Now, as an adult, it’s still the same
Girls are bitchy, and seriously, who the needs the bitching and back stabbing drama and the majority carry on with these days.
There is nothing wrong with the opposite sex being friends and hanging out.

I always prefer to hang out with guys… less bitchiness and drama. Xx

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I’m 47. My best friend since kindergarten is a boy…still my best friend today. Nothing ever more, nothing less…luv u Dustin Akins for being my person!

I agree with them I never had female frds

First off I agree I have 5 Grandsons 1 Grandaughter 3 of my Grandsons are 18 or older you are on your own . Life is hard pay attention be smart do right succeed hopefully you were taught that which 3 of my boys learned that . I as a Grandparent raising a 16 yr old female and my last baby Grandson of 11 . Wow ! KIDS these days is a job to raise .

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I do not see the negative, since I was a child it became easier for me to relate to boys, I rarely did it with girls and it still is.

I personally got along better with boys as a teenager and even now not near as much drama.

I’m 40 n I get both point of views. All my friends are male n have been since I was 15! I don’t trust females! Females can be hateful judgmental and spiteful! I was raised by my grand parents n very open and they trusted me and I knew my boundaries!!! If you can trust them an keep open communication I think it’s good for them! But that’s just my opinion

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I’ve always had all guy friends my entire life and maybe 1 to 4 girl friends at a time. Sometimes girls are mean and competitive with each other and are hard to hang out with. A lot of people think just because a guy and a girl are close that they’re having sex but that’s not true. Guys are easier to hang out with! Maybe they’re just tomboys not a big deal!

It’s absolutely fine for them to be hanging out with males, I’ve got a few male friends from school and they are really good friends, I am 28 now having both female and male friends is a really good thing, she will be ok because if a boy upsets her her male friends will have her back, mine certainly still do

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They are correct, it’s not like it was in your day… it’s worse! Stand your ground gma.

There is nothing wrong with having friend of both sexes, we live in a progressive world where we have to grow and adapt to daily life and as we are teaching our daughters they are strong and powerful and can do anything a man can do we also have to change our way of thinking in this manner. If we continue to tell our girls to cover up so boys don’t look, instead of teaching boys girls aren’t objects, or girls don’t hang out with boys cause it leads to bad things… one we are teaching them we are the only ones who have to control.our selves and that we are inferior to men because they don’t have to cover up only we do, or we are not allowing them to know how the opposition sex operates build relationships with people without prejudices buy, there are so.many reasons why those girl should have a say and be taught to love everyone no.matter there gender race creed religion, by telling them they can hang out with boys in many ways its just as sexest as saying your a girl

Its different today. All genders are friends.

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If it concerns you meet them and see what kind of person they are, the 14 years old needs to respect you. But issue is you should set boundaries. Curfews and no boys in bedrooms. Try to trust them. Good luck there lucky to have you. My mother passed I was seventeen it was very hard time for me. I had a male best friend and I married young. Wish I’d waited.

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I had more male friends then girlfriends

It’s 2021 not 1921 time to drop the sexist thinking. And if it’s worrying you that they might be having sex, guess what? Girls have sex with girls too.

I’ve always liked males more than females. I don’t really get along with a lot of females. I don’t think they should be in a house with a bunch of boys if there’s no adults around but having male friends…I don’t see the problems. I had a really good male friend when I was young. He was gay and was my best girlfriend ever!!!

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I’m 35 and I have ALWAYS hung out with guys more than girls. I can’t stand the childish catty BS that comes with hanging out with other females. They are nothing but drama and trouble. I am much more comfortable with a group of guys and always have been. I am also extremely glad my child is a boy because I can’t stand most young girls and their whiny nonsense either, they are so irritating, especially in the preteen phase, so I’m glad it’s always a bunch of boys around.

I had more male friends in high school :woman_shrugging: But now that I’m married that has changed.

All my children are now adults. I’m 48, and they all said the same thing. Teach them boundaries and have open communication with them. My kids knew that I’d rather know about something even if it was wrong. Remember our children today didn’t grow up in our world we did.

Educating rather than restricting is your best bet with children of all ages. Educate them on what values and morals you want them to have, respect their space and always leave the door open for any and all conversation.

Or they could be like me and have no friends at all because both guys and chicks backstabbed me?

As long as they are sure they are safe & know right from wrong and no one pressures them(both genders do pressure) into doing anything they are uncomfortable with, they are fine.

Even when I was a teen, I Never let anyone pressure me into doing anything bad & I didn’t judge others.
But I was always honest with my mom about my friends. If I had a conflict to figure out, i would ask for advice, for both guys and girls, i did always make the right decision. Others just didn’t like it.:woman_shrugging:

I am 70 and raised 2 kids. 2 marriages. I still hang out more with the guys than the girls.

Sorry but for me and considering the kind of environment we have today hanging out with either males or females isn’t that safe anymore. But then its part of growing up now i guess if I were in the same situation as you are i’ll just do my best to guide them the rest i would leave it to God because deifinitely we can’t control everything that would happen to them. Do your best and God and your grandchildren will do the rest

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I’ve always got along better with boys my whole life. Girls were too much drama and mean. I say let them be as long as they are responsible!

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You are! And it’s your house a d your rules. If they want to hand out with boys, they can do it in front of you. If they can’t, what are they hiding. Tell them you want to know their friends.

Had both. If you are teaching them right from wrong and spending time with them and giving them chores to help out around the house. If they are going around with a group of young people than includes girls and boys and is supervised by an adult it should be okay. My daughters went to church with the same young men as my sons. Most of their activities were supervised.

Girls can be really mean at that age

Hard to hang out with females when they’re the ones who bully, are disloyal, and tell everyone your business.
Males are much less drama, less judgmental, usually more honest, and less likely to spread rumors and bully us.
I had all male friends and a single female friend for prolly 14 years. Never had sex with any of the males I was friends with, we were just friends and that was it. I was the mom-parent, like a sister. I saw them as brothers too.
Just made more female friends this year at almost 30 so I can relate.

Your House, Your Rules
If the 18 year old doesn’t respect it, she needs to get Out and get her own place.

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Let them be mommy. Nothing is wrong hanging with boys their age. Scary if it is older boys

We need to start normalizing women/men friendships

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Let them as long as they have an adult with them. Explain you are not letting them hang out like they want because of the risk of pregnancy. Get them involved in activities so they are too busy. I wish you the best of luck.

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I have a boyfriend and I have male friends. Not people I talk to or see every day but I do have guy friends. I try not to hang out with them without my boyfriend and if I do it’s usually they stop by for a minute, say hi catch up real quick and then they are off.

That depends on what kind of hanging out they are talking about.

I’m almost 30 now. In high school I was “one of the boys.” In my 20’s I was “one of the boys.” I’m married with 3 kids now. And I am still “one of the boys.” My best friends are males.

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I have old school morals to! As long as they are in a public place or where people can see them then that should be ok. My mom would never let me have them in my room with the door closed or be by myself with a male. Which I’m going to do the same for my daughters because the temptation is always there. It honestly taught me how to respect myself so I wouldn’t be pressured into something sexual. Let’s face it, kids are super curious at those ages.

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My friends all growing up we’re boys. I just got along with them more. There’s nothing wrong with it

Mine could hang with boys I approved as long as a sibling or someone else was there at all times. Even ‘good’ well meaning kids end up in situations they regret later. It’s just a better idea all around. I never taught them it was wrong, just that things can happen of if they mean for them too, but they get the butterflies and lovey doves and that was that! There are consequences when that stuff happens and it’s not worth the risk. Most of my friends in high school were boys, nice boys, but all wanted to fool around at one point or another lol. At 18, all you can really do is pray alot, and keep open conversations.

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I preferred hanging out with guys. Nothing wrong with that at all.

I personally dont get along with many females. Alot of females like to create drama and sabotage you for no reason other than for fun. I just get along better with the homies :joy: :woman_shrugging:t2:

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I would set boundaries if you allow them to hang out with boys, teenage girl attitudes can be hard at times!

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Well… your house your rules… i agree! It seems like they are trying to just walk all over you, with the claims that you’re old school! Don’t let them. You don’t want to end up raising great grand children next!! Put your foot down… :+1:t2:

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I always chose guy friends over girlfriends becausr guys are sometimes less drama

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Boys and girls can be friends

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Times have changed.

Are they good girls and get good grades in school? Or are they boy-crazy slackers who can’t be trusted?

Boundaries and moderation is the key here. After all I’m sure all of you would like to be respectful of one another and treated with dignity.

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This day in age, girls and boys mingle. I went through my entire teens with all boys, because they were fun. Girls wanted to get pedicures, do makeup and gossip at the mall… but the boys were out riding bikes and going swimming. The boys were just more fun, and there was no competition with them. They didn’t care what I wore, if my nails were done, what new haircut I had etc. They were just casual and had zero expectations of me other than to keep up!

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Guys and girls can be friends without it being sexualized. It is very possible to love a guy as a friend without being in love or anything being attached to the friendship.

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Ever since ours started high school they could have their guy friends stay the night, it is normal nowadays

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They are right.
For me too,I prefer males to females

I was one of the boys too, had girl friends but boys were so less drama

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Boys are lil less nosy than girls. That’s why I like hanging out with them when I was in high school. And besides they don’t gossip behind your back. :grin:
Girls are so overly dramatic especially in that age. I thinks there is nothing wrong with that, just make sure they have limitations and have no bad influence on your gdaughters.

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I’ve always preferred to hang out with males. Less drama, more laughs.

I had no female friends. Only guys. It’s okay. I’m the type that would rather play video games, eat junk and talk about cars or “guy” things than do girl stuff.

They are in the right 100%
It’s 2021 males and females have been allowed to be friends for DECADES

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Women need to normalize making bonds with other women. Women need good girl friends. But it’s ok to hang out with males. But definitely try to get them out of that mindset.

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For sure things have changed. My 12 year old sons best friends are girls💁🏽‍♀️. Plutonic friendships are very genuine

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Right or wrong they’re old enough to do what they want, so the best strategy is not to oppose them. You want them to trust you enough to come to you if any problems develop. So tell them they’re right. You had some old-fashioned ideas, but now you got wise.

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Well one of them is 18 and is an adult…

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I always got along better with males than females lol

Just talk to them, set boundaries etc

My daughter is 18 and hangs out with both. I never thought it was weird. She’s also gay, and I’ve never once had an issue with her being with other girls. Society and societal norms don’t get to dictate what’s right or wrong. If you trust the people your children are with not to hurt them, then it should be fine.

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Personally i always had mainly male friends growing up, every time i made female friends there was always drama and most friendships wouldnt last.

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