Needing pros and cons about Santa

So, moms, I know this will be a lot of opinions, but I’m conflicted about Santa. My son is three, so this is his first year really understanding and getting into Christmas. I never really thought about Santa much. I mean, I grew up with it and have always done it for my nephews, but this year something has changed. Part of me feels like I shouldn’t do the Santa part of things for my son. It seems too much like I’m just lying to him to motivate him to be good when 1. I don’t bride him to be good ever it’s expected and 2. I am very blunt and honest with him. I’ve always been the type to speak to him as an adult and not sugar coat things or make it sunshine and rainbows. For example, I don’t say something like, “oh baby step out and let mommy put on clothes” I explain things out that you need privacy when naked and that there are parts of your body you do not show or allow others to see. I’m big on explaining instead of just this is what I say. Anyway, that got far from the topic, but when thinking about Santa if I decide to go without I do know that it can be skipped this year unnoticed and probably next year, we would have to have the discussion that some do believe and that it would hurt people to tell them differently because you believe differently. Same as a Jewish mother would explain to her children. I want to really think about all the pros and cons before going ahead with anything because honestly, I don’t know if this something I’m only feeling because this year I’m not in the holiday spirit after losing my father this year or if it’s something I just proceed with. Please let me know any pros and cons that you can think of for me to consider.

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He’s 3…let him be a child like you were allowed to be.

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Let him believe. Let him be a child.

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Wait whatttt
I’m really confused… you want to tell you 3 year old Santa doesn’t exist or you dont want to do xmas this year… :sleepy::sleepy: either way I feel real sad

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It’s not just about Santa but the magic of Christmas. Let him believe because as they get older it only gets better!

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We dont do Santa at my house, but we still make christmas a big deal🤷‍♀️

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Let him believe if its expected he is good why would Santa change that ?

I never believed in santa. My niece did. It broke her heart when she found out santa wasn’t real. I don’t see the point in putting a child through that

Let your child be a child! You dont need to treat your child as an adult. Let him believe in santa just like you got too.

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It stinks your not in the holiday spirit, but I wouldn’t punish my kid for it. Let him enjoy it

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Hes a baby let him be a kid…trust once he goes to school he will be different and want to believe his friends…your sad for your dad and I’m sorry but that dont mean he has to go without because you want to be honest…you can always still be honest with him but let him enjoy his childhood…your parents let you so dont take from him…as he gets older he’ll know the truth its not bad

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I saw today where a lady explained that she still does the Santa thing because “why not make Christmas magical” :woman_shrugging: you can make it your own, make it fun and enjoy the memories. It’ll be something he can look back and enjoy and pass those traditions YOU made special down to his own family one day.

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Let him believe for as long as he will. Christmas changes after they stop believing.

To me personally I think they should get the experience to believe in Santa, it makes it more magical for them and they are only young once. How might they feel when older that they didn’t get to experience it, when it’s all their friends maybe talked about. Or they could accidentally say to someone oh but my mum told me he’s not real, kids are good at slipping things like that out. However I don’t use it an excuse to get them to behave. And I don’t over buy and say it’s all from santa. Normally a main item or two and the stocking is from Santa and the rest he knows I get x

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Pros… you get to see his face light up when he sees Santa. It’s good to give children something to believe in that teaches them faith in the things they can not see. Cons… they will be THE kid ruining Christmas for other kids by telling them there’s no Santa Claus

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Kids need to believe. It’s good for them

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I explained to my kids once they were older that Santa was a real person along time ago that brought presents to kids and since he was so nice we still continue to celebrate him…but hes not real and doesn’t come and bring presents anymore

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Don’t be selfish. Absolutely ridiculous.

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Let me ask you something, do you believe in the tooth fairy and Easter bunny? You know around Easter we tell our kids to be good so the bunny will come. We tell kids to be good so they get bday presents…

I think you should have had a dog, not a child. :roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

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Let him be a child just because you are a certain way doesn’t mean he has to… Also being naked in front of a child is okay also you teach them body parts some parents shower with their children to the age of 5 or 6 we should embrace what we were given not make a child feel shame of seeing a naked body.

Considering you’ve been through a great loss this year, maybe not bring it up at all this year and make your decision next Christmas on whether or not to allow your child to believe in Santa. My kids believed in Santa and it made Christmas more fun and magical for them.

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Let him be a child, just as you were. Thinking about you could just skip Christmas and he not notice at 3 years old? Seriously? He would notice! Do you have him living in a bubble with no TV, relatives and never leaving the house?

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My girls are 5 and 7 years old. I have always been honest with them too. They know the basics about how girls are different from boys etc. But they fully believe in Santa. I personally think 3 is a little young for a kid to not believe in Santa and his magic

Santa is more than what believe Today, story’s told long ago have been forgotten and are far different than stories today.

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With my kids we looked up into history of Santa claud and it was I amazing for kids and my self .

It’s all about the joy of Christmas. If gives kids something 2 look fowred 2 each year

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Santa is simply the Christmas spirit read yes Virginia there is a Santa to put it into perspective for your little one

I started telling my kids santa and all the other magical beings are not real since they could understand what i mean and they’re 7 & 8 and when ppl tell them abt santa or toothfairy they simply say thats not real and they know mummy and daddy buy their stuff. We also dont wait till Christmas and bdays to do gifts. We do gifts whenever we feel like it . Gifts shouldn’t be expected. They should be a surprise. My kids are unaffected and I’m glad i didn’t lie to them abt a fat man in a suit bringing them gifts despite all the negative words from family and friends my hubby and i faced when we made a decision to be honest with our kids abt as much as possible. They even know kids are born through a mama’s vagina or she gets cut in her belly. I showed them raw youtube videos and my daughters are both in aww with what they’ve learned so far. Its all abt how much your kids can understand and their age. Do ya thing mama. Your parenting style may not be the most common and practiced but rhat doesn’t mean its wrong

I don’t use a Santa “threat” about being good - but Santa is magical and fun!

Don’t take that away

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I understand where u coming from but let him be a kid bc before u know it he is grown up ND has a life on his own

Well I mean Santa Claus is actually based on a real person. St. Nicholas was an Ancient Greek Christian bishop who gave gifts to children. Technically you’re not lying. Perhaps maybe you could even read to him some stories about the real St. Nicholas? The history is actually quite fascinating.

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We do Santa. They’re little for such a short time. Let them believe in the magic of Christmas. There’s no reason to groom him into an adult at 3. There will be plenty of time for that. Let them be little :heart:

Don’t be selfish! Let the kid believe in the magic of Christmas! Why take the magic away!? This whole I don’t want to lie to my children is bullshit. You’re not lieing to them. Santa does exist. He is just as real as you and I. Santa is the magic of Christmas. It’s the meaning of giving and not expecting anything in return other than being a wholesome good person. When children grow up and find out “Santa doesn’t exist” they stop believing in the magic and that’s sad. But in order for your children to believe you need to believe. Magic is real and it exists all around us all year long. Christmas is just the time to celebrate it :heart:

Can you just let him be a kid? Jesus christ, he will have enough time to live in reality and receive blunt criticism. Hes a child. Let him believe and let him experience the magic of Santa claus. It’s good for him. Let him have that innocence for as long as he can.

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I never explained…they just figured it out & 🤷

It is good for kids to have that imagination, I feel. I do, however, explain all the stories to my kids verses just one. I like them to expand their ways of thinking and learn everyone’s belief which allows them to form their own.

Keep the magic alive! Children grow up too fast these days! It clearly didnt affect you growing up with the thought of Santa. It wont hurt him. Let him have the magic and watch his face light up! Xx

Just let him believe, I don’t think anyone holds it against their parents for making up Santa. Sorry about your loss but don’t make your kids Christmas less magical because of it. I too am very honest with my kids but Santa is different. Even after I found out Santa wasn’t real my mom said that if I didn’t “believe” that Santa (aka her) wasn’t coming. It’s tradition more than lying

I believed in santa my whole childhood. My parents even did Christmas early where Santa came and brought me present because I was going to be at my moms house. I feel like if my dad told me when I was 8 that Santa wasn’t real I would have been crushed. Believing in Santa makes Christmas more fun. I’m going to raise my son to believe in Santa. I want him to enjoy Christmas and have fun

Children are only so little for such a small amount of time. Let them have the cotton candy, rainbow, unicorn, Dragon Santa tooth fairy Easter bunny fantasies :sob::sob:

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We approach Santa as the spirit of giving. Giving hope, cheer, gifts, etc… we also play Santa to other people so she believes, but also isn’t thinking Santa is just one person.

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I was raised in a super religious home.
There was so Santa, no Easter bunny, no trick or treating… I was bummed around the holidays every year watching and listening to other kids… when I had my own I was so excited to finally participate.
Let there be a santa♥️

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I say let him be a kid just watching them get up to see if santa came is what make the magic of the season worth it and when they get old enough and they ask that’s when you can tell them just my opinion though

You have to do what your heart tells you to do because we no there is no real Santa claus it’s a story passed down from family members to other family members it should all b about christ not santa

I really don’t see it as lying as such I see it as a bit of fun and magic whilst they are young enough to believe. When my eldest now 12 stopped believing he was about 7/8. He wasn’t scared for life about me ‘lying’… And I told him all about Saint Nicholas and how after he died we continued to give gifts like he did to keep the magic alive and illl tell my youngest the same when she’s older. Long live magic :tada::revolving_hearts:

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Telling your son that there is a santa is not really lying to him… everyone does it.

Now are you going to do the same with the Easter bunny and tooth fairy.

I don’t know why adults just won’t let kids be kids. Let him enjoy believing in something while he is still young.

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Christmas is about giving anyways. My daughter is 4 and believes in santa clause… i love that she does. Reading into the history of santa would be cool but my older kids know i am santa now but Christmas isnt ruined bc they now know im santa

I’m not going to do the Santa thing with my kids because to be blunt you ARE lying to them. And in my opinion that’s not ok. It’s an absolutely HUGE lie that you do for YEARS. It’s a huge breach of trust. They don’t need Santa to enjoy Christmas or gift giving or spending time with family. Santa shouldn’t be what Christmas is about, it should just be a holiday where you spend time with family, give to each other, lauch, and have fun. The Santa idea is just ridiculous and creepy (don’t even get me started on that “He knows when you are awake and sees you when you are sleeping” song and the “elf on the shelf” thing). It’s just stupid. If a child can’t figure out that santa isn’t real by 6-7, they’re not questioning things like they should be and I feel like it just teaches kids to accept outrageous concepts and fairytales.

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My parents never really enforced santa on me, I just sorta believed on my own, then when o was 4-5 someone asked me if I still believed in Santa… So that told me that he wasn’t real. And for some odd reason I understood it all, i was never upset or hurt by the fact… But I was also raised in a Christian home and understood the true meaning of Christmas… I say don’t force it on your child, but if they want to go see santa then let em, and if they don’t, then don’t force it. Then one day when he asks about it, you can explain it all to him. That way, you neither keep him from believing nor force it upon him… No lies that way.

Christmas is a beautiful time of year, it can bring people together, children enjoy the lights and festivities.
For some children it has a kind of magic surrounding it, because they can’t fully understand the reason for celebrating Christmas and thats ok. Let a child be a child, enjoy the lights, visit Santa, sing songs. Santa will only be a big deal if you emphasize him.
I’m Roman Catholic and just because I have certain views doesn’t mean I can’t let my children enjoy moments only the holidays bring.

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Children feel hurt when they feel they are different from other children. They deserve happiness and excitement and it is not a lie…Santa is all about love for children and showing them happiness and the magic of Christmas is something they will always cherish. Don’t make your child feel indifferent…some kids I know wished they had different parents because they felt bad the were not allowed to believe in Santa

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I dont do santa at all. Your kids need to grow up knowing that mommy and daddy work hard for things that they get. Not some random guy who they will never meet or see. I do christmas and make a very big deal about it. I just teach its the season of giving. Take him to the store and let him.pick out presents for dad or you or whoever. Santa turns there whole childhood into a lie

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Told my kids as they started no to beleive. It’s the spirit of Christmas. The Giddy good feelings you get weather its, doing all the fun things. Giving or receiving. Or just hanging out with family reminiscing.

Let him be little! And enjoy the magic of Christmas & Santa :santa:t3::christmas_tree::heart: Mine are 2 & 3 and they’re having so much fun this holiday season!

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My kids stopped believing in Santa since about 4 or 5… they are 18, 14, 12, and 9, and although they know I’M Santa, the gifts are labeled From: Santa… they just look at me like really mom… the reason I do that is because I don’t want them to be like oh my mom you got me this or Auntie got me that or why Uncle buy me that. I’ll just let them not know who bought what.

I was always taught that Christmas was about family and helping people and giving to those who need it and that’s honestly what I’m going to continue to teach my son
I’m iffy on Santa as well, but I plan on doing something similar with my son when hes old enough
Hes still really young, let him be a kid for as long as he can be, he wont be little forever,
It might make your entire year seeing his face light up on Christmas when he sees what santa brought him
Hope this helps
Merry Christmas😊

I never did Santa with my kids. We were low on money for my daughter’s first Christmas so I couldn’t and then that just stuck. I never wanted them to expect stuff that I might not could afford. They were still able to be kids and have the magic and love of Christmas. They just know that we buy the gifts for them. I do Santa with my nieces and nephews because their parents do it.

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There’s no cons to letting a child believe in Santa. It’s just a tradition you can either start or not. All preference.i was raised not believing in Santa and still had a great childhood and Christmas but I plan o doing the Santa thing with my kids.

I don’t threaten my kids with Santa…we do it just for fun…same with elf on the shelf. I didnt believe as a kid…but really wanted to…so I let my kids believe in magic as long as they want to.

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When I was growing up, my pawpaw was a big Christian. We still did Santa, but we also used it to celebrate Jesus’s birthday. Instead of cookies, we made a birthday cake and to teach us about the gift of giving, my grandparents would take my siblings and I to the dollar store to get Santa a Christmas present because he worked so hard bringing presents to everyone else

We celebrate saint Nicholas’ feast day (we’re Catholic) but we do not do Santa. We have a five year old and three year old. My biggest thing is I will not lie to them for years… Even if the lie is made to create joy and magic. Lies aren’t magical. We create the joy and magic in other ways. My oldest is going to do an experiment this year that she wants to do. She was told by her cousins that they leave cookies out for Santa and he eats them. This year, she wants to leave cookies out. If they’re still there in the morning then she’ll know for sure he’s not real about if they’re gone she’ll know he’s real. It hurts me to indulge this because it’s going to hurt her. But it’s better I’m honest now than in 5 years after she’s come to expect Santa to be a reality. If you choose not to do Santa, expect back lash. Expect weird looks. We were at Walmart and the greeter told my daughter’s that Santa was going to be there for pictures. My oldest simply said Santa is not real. The look was hysterical. But it’s not easy. Good luck to you and whichever you choose. It’s your decision!

I always taught my daughter that we say it’s from Santa “just for fun” and then I teach her the history of the real Santa. We did this every year for years, lol, it’s like the memory of it escaped her because she was young. Same with all the other imaginary gift bringers. I don’t believe cultural pressure is a reason to lie to your kids, as it’s super destructive. You can even research the residual mental health issues from kids who found out or were told these imaginary people weren’t real and how it affected them. I’m more concerned with raising healthy kids than I am giving into cultural norms. But this hasn’t EVER taken away from holiday festivities, we still talk about Santa and the Easter bunny and everything like a regular family, just not with the bold faced lies about it. And I feel it’s helped us be a closer family as she understands that the gifts and effort and thoughtful items come from family instead of some magical person who they’re not allowed to meet. Kids are also taught they are being judged by these people they’re not allowed to meet which is also unhealthy (when they see kids they know aren’t good kids getting better things than them) or when they’re told adults can talk to the magical people but not them (also harmful and feeling left out or not included or not good enough). These things seem small and dismissive but they aren’t, not at all. It’s way healthier on the kids mentality and emotions both now and in the long run to be honest with kids. Hopefully this helps some

I think you’re overthinking it. I totally get and respect where you are coming from, but if he has little neighborhood friends or daycare friends they are gonna talk about santa sooner or later and you dont want him to be the kid that ruins it for everyone else by knowing too much :sweat_smile: I struggled with this too, I have a 4 year old and always kinda avoided too much magic santa and reindeer talk but this month he is SUPER into christmas, so even though I’m not, I took him to meet “the grinch” and “santa” and I let him put a little fake plastic tree in his room even though we dont have a real one cuz I dont do that…im not using santa as a threat or a parenting tool, I haven’t even really talked about nice and naughty, etc. I’m just letting him figure it all out on his own. so long story short, I echo what everyone is is saying-- they only get a few good years of real childlike innocence, we should let them be little!

I see it as lying too. The truth is the truth and a lie is a lie in my eyes (no grey about it). You just have to decide on your own conscience. Funny because my now 10 yr old never believed me that Santa wasn’t real lol. I just told her to believe what she wanted, but I wasn’t going to lie to her.

I mean, I felt that way for a small amount of time. I’m also blunt with my kids, and we dont filter our thoughts or feelings. But, at the same time, I feel like they deserve the magic of santa. I dont believe in giving them giant, expensive toys from santa, but a gift or two from santa will suffice. We are not religious in my household. So, santa isnt about religion or anything, just makes christmas more fun. It’s your choice what you want to do but remember when he is older he will go to school, where other kids will believe in santa. So you need to ensure that a. He doesnt ruin santa for them, and b. He doesnt feel super left out.

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I grew up with a little girl that didn’t have Santa when we were kids because her mom didn’t wanna give the credit to a myth…she still got just as much as we did but she did say she wished she had had something to believe in when she was young…she always understood not to say anything when we were kids…i kinda wanted to believe even after I found out… I never felt lied to…the only con I can think of is that we grow up and can’t still have Santa…would be nice if he’d visit adults too

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We didn’t have Santa, and my kids haven’t ever had Santa. It wasn’t really anything I ever explained. They enjoy Christmas a whole lot and always have. We still enjoy Santa movies and books, but they know he isn’t an actual person any more than any other movie character. They also know he is based on an actual person, Saint Nicolas. They don’t go around telling other kids because they know that wouldn’t be kind. I am with you on not lying to my children. Whatever you decide, do what you feel is right for you and your child.
Also I am sorry for your loss and completely understand. This is my 5th Christmas without my dad, and I still don’t really enjoy it.

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Why would you even consider that? You were a kid once, think of how excited you would get before Christmas. Why take that experience away from him? Let him believe in the magic of Christmas. You don’t want him getting confused, cause all the other kids talk about Santa and all the cool stuff he brought them, and have him wonder why he isn’t good enough for Santa Claus. I know you lost your dad and I know how hard it because I lost mine to suicide when I was 24, so I get where you’re coming from. You don’t wanna do that to him though, and if you celebrated Christmas as a child, I’m sure your dad wouldn’t want you to do that to him either. Let him be little, and let him believe in the Magic of Christmas.

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Steph I’m no longer the grinchiest person :joy::joy::joy::joy::woman_facepalming:

I am 64 and still believe…watch miracle on 34th Street every year …lost that.magic for a time then had kids of my own…now grandkids…dont deny him or yourself the magic of Christmas…just believe

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Idk I don’t lie to my kids about any man made characters.

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I think children just kind of start believing themselves and we just help it be realistic for the because why kill their joy and then when they get older and realize there is no Santa they think back on all the times and they see that we love them and made it possible for them to find and be happy and they do not think oh my you are just a liar they are appreciative of all that we did.

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I read two lines and just laughed my ASS off sorry so sorry … but are we really getting to this point of overthinking Santa?? We are taking the fun of imagination?! Whatever my kid is two and talks to the Santa cam every day to let him know how she’s doing and loves it! Let’s just suck all the fun out for the kids … blah to this post go on non believers :joy::joy::joy: Santa is real!!

By the sounds of it you’re looking more at the logical side of things and that’s perfectly fine, you obviously have a healthy relationship with your 3yr old, my daughter is 3 as well so I see where you’re coming from wondering whether it’s time to properly introduce Santa. But to me Christmas is more about the magic. It’s what makes this time more special, believing that anything’s possible, it helps in healthy development as children need the chance to use their imagination whether they realise or not. It makes it more fun. You don’t have to tell him that Santa only brings presents to good boys and girls so he better behave but rather tell him how Santa is the spirit of Christmas who brings joy to all boys and girls by bringing them a gift! It’s as simple as that, let him revel in the magic and make his Christmas a little more ~ for lack of a better word~ twinkly

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Nah kids are going to good or bad doesn’t matter on santa, my kid still has days where he is bad. He is 8 and still believes in Santa, no elves or santa visits have impacted his behavior. Parental discipline works better

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I feel like too many parents on here are judging. I am going to say this… Most of these people probably don’t know the loss you’re feeling right now so they simply can’t put themselves in your shoes. However, in years past I have lost my brother, my mother, and my child… I currently have a 6 year old daughter and I do let her believe. Even in the years that I wanted to throw in the towel… Personally I think even if you don’t wanna do the whole Santa thing, just do Christmas. I think once you start putting up the tree or decorations and see the magic in your baby’s eyes your heart may change a bit. Telling your son Santa lives in his heart is something a lot of parents do. Most of those parents just don’t go around telling people for fear of being judged. That doesn’t make it wrong though. I would say yes do Christmas even if you just get a tiny fake tree to let him decorate and put a few gifts under it from you. This year is hard and he’s young enough that you’re right he wouldn’t really notice if there were just a couple of gifts under a tiny tree. But in a few years when he is old enough to understand you can explain to him how Mom was in a lot of pain Christmas of 2019, but she didn’t give up. She did what she could that year… I don’t know if this helps, but no matter what you decide it’s not the wrong choice. Talk to those who are closest to you about it… The people that know you and can see your pain they may be able to give you more insight on if you’re “doing it for the wrong reasons.” Hope this helps…

I don’t agree with the comments that it is a lie or that they need to appreciate mom and dad, etc. Look, your kids are only small for a very short time in life. Santa is part of the magic of being a child in my opinion. It is somewhat of a fairytale and what’s wrong with that??? They are children for goodness sake! A time will come soon enough where they learn all of the harsh realities of the world. Let them enjoy the few years where they believe that the world is a wonderful place, people are all loving and caring, and that there is a magical being that somehow makes it around the entire world in one night to deliver toys and other delightful things to children everywhere. As for the part about knowing mom and dad work hard, etc. that will take care of itself. Sure while they are young, the fat guy gets all the credit. But you know it’s YOU. And when they grow up, they will know it was you all along and will appreciate you even more for all the work you did to make those years special for them.

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Found this on Facebook this may help u

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I am not doing Santa for my son.
I don’t EVER want to lie to my son.
I don’t care about the whole “magical” experience. A holiday can be plenty magical without me lying to my child.

I’ll tell my son other kids believe in it, and to try not to say to much to others … but I am not worried about my child “ruining “ that for other kids. My child is going to say what he wants, and he’s going to be truthful. Why would I be upset with that? :woman_shrugging:t2:

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My parents didn’t let me believe and in kindergarten I told the whole class he wasn’t real made everyone cry and got sent home. I didn’t know any better. Let him believe just don’t raise expectations by giving huge gifts from him.

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Jesus. Take every scrap of magic away from the poor little thing I would. As long as you are happy eh :pensive:

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The magic of Christmas is wonderful and he should experience it. It’s one of those white lies that is so fun for kids. I love doing it all for my daughter. She loves her elf on the shelf, Santa and the beauty of all the lights. Enjoy this time with him.

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Your poor child, taking the magic away before it’s even begun. You only get 3-4 Christmas with them believing and your spoiling it before it’s started. The fact you want pros and cons to decide if you can be bothered shows it’s about yourself not your child. How MEAN

We do the Santa thing, but not the threat of you have to be good for him to come and leave presents. However, we teach them that Christmas isn’t just about getting presents, that it is about celebrating Jesus’ Birthday as well as helping others. We donate money to charities, food to food pantries/the collection sites, toys to Toys for Tots/the collection sites, etc. The children are apart of all of this and we have the real, hard conversations of why we need to do this. Teach kindness, helpfulness and compassion! All things in the name of Jesus and St. Nicholas!

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Santa was a real guy. Yeah he’s not around anymore, but he was once real. And when the time came for
Me to be told the truth, it was described to me as a spirit we continue on in his good will. I was not hurt when I found out I was “lied to” about Santa. Instead I have these fond memories of Santa’s magic snow boot prints leading from our door to the tree. Gnawed carrots from reindeer. Baking and decorating cookies to leave him Christmas Eve. Looking up in the sky with my mom trying to catch a glimpse of him and listening for sleigh bells. I don’t remember the gifts. I remember the many traditions and memories made. That we are now passing down to my kids. Also how will you feel when he starts school and most other kids are talking about Santa and why Santa brought them, and he asks why they got Santa and he didn’t? Or when he spoils it for another child by telling them Santa isn’t real? Do you have a plan to handle that? You can teach your child whatever you want. But they are only so little for so long and you can only make this kind of special magic for so long. You follow your heart on what you think is best. But. What if you are just feeling down this year? And what if next year or the year after you regret not playing along with Santa. My most memories with my dad are Christmas Eve. He died right before my 16th bday. I was bitter sad and sour for a long time every Christmas. But always helped make it magical for my nieces and nephews and now I have my own and it’s what gets me going every year. We also lost a baby last year in December. I wasn’t in the spirit. Didn’t decorate. But we did get our tree and Santa still came. We are expecting our rainbow on the 19th, and she will have gifts from Santa and be included this year simply for the magic of our boys. I think you really need to think about it and weigh it all out, then follow your intuition and heart in making a decision. I wish you luck, and I’m sorry to hear of your loss this year. I know it’s tough.

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We teach our kids Santa fills our stockings anything under the tree is from us. Because let’s be honest what if YOUR kid got a really expensive present but has been a jerk all year and then a less fortunate kid just got clothes for Christmas or didn’t get what they asked for and they are always extremely well behaved they would think Santa didn’t like them or they did something so terrible.

I believe in doing Santa!! It’s the magic of Santa, the excitment. Waking up knowing he brought something for you!! I feel it takes away from being a kid!!

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I mean I wasnt even mad when I found out santa wasnt real…I love the magic of Christmas and I want my son to experience that too

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We’ve taken a stance more as Santa is the spirit of Christmas rather than someone she is being bribed with to be good. It’s apart of the Christmas magic and I won’t be the one that dampers that for my kids.

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My mom told us when I was like 5 or 6 because we were asking why other kids got more/better gifts and we were poor. I wasn’t upset. My oldest is 4 and he still believes. I think if he starts to ask really detailed questions I might cave and tell him later on. But with him, he has a big mouth so I’d then worry about him telling other kids at school.

I don’t use Santa as bribery. To me it’s just something fun to do. Yes I know parents that use things like Santa over their kids heads. But I also feel like I’m going to crush my three year old if I tell him that Santa isn’t real and then he’s the only one that’s not excited when he sees him out somewhere.

If you don’t want your child to believe in Santa it’s your call. You’re the parent, I just wanted to put it out there that not everyone uses it as bribery to expect a child to be good. And I never had my feelings hurt when I became of age and found out my parents played Santa. So many memories are with me forever, the way Santa arranged the presents, leaving reindeer feed out, making cookies, sitting outside and looking for the sleigh.

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My husband and I don’t do Santa for our kids and they’re totally fine. I think as long as you tell your kid that just because you guys don’t have a Santa that comes to your house it doesn’t mean that all homes work that way and hope your kid doesn’t ruin it for someone else tbh. At least that’s how we’re doing it. Not all homes are the same and you’re not in the wrong for not doing Santa with your kid. Christmas is about having a good time and spending time with loved ones.

Did you enjoy it as a child, Give him that wonderful experience

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The magic of christmas season is wonder he sees images of santa everywhere… dont take away his christmas spirit.

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You’re overthinking. It’s a fun tradition and it’s not a lie. Santa may not be a real person who lives at the North Pole but the idea of him is very real.

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I understand that you may not feel the Christmas spirit due to the loss of your father but to take away your child’s belief in santa after he lost his grandfather isn’t fair. That’s a lot for a child at such a young age to lose. My oldest son will be 11 in February and he just found out Santa isn’t real. There is too much craziness in this world forcing kids too grow up too fast already, let him continue to believe in santa for as long as you can. Personally, I would wait to make this decision when your no longer grieving because like you said you may just being feeling this way due to the loss of your dad. If you still feel this way next year, then do what you feel is best for you and your family.

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I haven’t done the whole Santa thing with my son.
His grandmother is with him but I’m not.

You can still have a “magical Christmas” without Santa :woman_shrugging:t2:

I’m the same way and because I am an explainer my 5yo son is very strong willed. He doesn’t even care if Santa is watching to be good but his eyes sure light up when we go see Santa. I say don’t take it away. It’s the magic of childhood.

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