It’s OK if you don’t want your child to believe in Santa Claus, it’s also OK for a child to believe in Santa Claus. He’s not going to grow up thinking that you lied to him. But if you don’t want him to believe, that’s fine. There was no explaining to be had this year because he’s too young to understand but as he gets a little bit older, just explain to him that people believe in different things and that we don’t ever take somebody’s belief away from them. Explain to him who Santa Claus is and that the Santa Claus we know today is not real but he’s based on a real person. Teach him the giving side of Christmas. It’s your choice what you want your child to believe in.
It would be a shame to take this away from him, at this point. Why not let him enjoy all the hype centered around Christmas? I can’t even imagine how a 3yr. old could begin to comprehend what you’re talking about at this point in his life. I wouldn’t want my 3yr. old to know that there is no Santa. Why would you want to take this away from him?
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Whatever you say, keep it magical. It isn’t lying to say you celebrate the Spirit of Christmas and some people call that spirit Santa, some call it Jesus and others just call it human kindness.
My baby is only 4 months but this has always been my plan. I believe that the holiday season is about celebrating kindness. Make sure you give him opportunities to be kind with things like donating unplayed with but usable toys. Tell him that everyone can be like santa and that in the spirit of kind we don’t tell other kids that Santa isn’t real because in a way, he is.
Let him know the beard and suit are like his favorite cartoons and just like he can dress like Batman, someone else dresses like santa.
I’m 23 and this year’s my little girls first Christmas… I don’t feel betrayed or lied to by my parents because they have brought my presents rather than santa. Santa is a big part of a childs life not just because of being good but to teaches them to believe in something even tho they never see it, they get to talk to their friends and have a festive exciting times … I don’t see the point in not doing it if I’m honest
I have a 2 year old and my plan is to tell him monmy and daddy work really hard for Christmas! Santa brings every kid just 1 toy, mommy and daddy do the rest! This will help in school when others are saying they got all these gifts from Santa and some kids don’t get that many! Santa gets ONE, that’s it! That way he knows some of the truth! This is just my opinion! Good luck and Merry Christmas! Oh yeah I will also tell my son about the real St Nick and about him!
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Yeah no kids deserve to believe in a magic being. It’s being a child, he won’t be that young long and plus he’ll tell other children. When I was like 6 my mom told me Santa wasn’t real and took me to pick out my own gifts, I hated her for it.
We told them about Santa
But also told them about Jesus and how he was borned in a manger and about the wise men .they new
Your kid your call but I would never ruin the magic for my kids. Christmas is a huge deal in our house. Kids are kids! Let them believe.
We have never done Santa… I know its an unpopular thing and people say let them enjoy the magic of Christmas but like you said, I don’t like lying to my kids as I am very real with them. There is a ton of magic in childhood and Christmas without Santa. I don’t want my kids wondering why Santa didnt bring them the same toys that Timmy got and all that nonsense. We make Christmas morning a special family day. My kids do know however, that lots of little kids believe in Santa and we shouldn’t ruin it for them. I tell them that Santa is a figure of Christmas just like ghosts gouls and witches are figures of Halloween. I have had a few odd occasions where people ask my kids, “oh what did Santa bring you??” And my eldest kid looked at me funny because he didn’t know what to say.
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We did not do Santa with our kids and they love Christmas. I didn’t grow up celebrating the holidays, so I didn’t see the point of Santa. I have made sure they never ruin that for another child though.
You could tell him that it’s a tradition. And that people all over the world have or believe in, in their own way. And if he wants to believe let him and if he dosen’t, it will be at his pace.
On 12/11 it marked the 13 years since my grandma passed that woman was my everything and this time of year is especially hard without her but I have 6 kids and I do everything in my power to keep the spirit of Christmas alive for them even though I would much rather go hide in a hole until the season is over it takes all of me to push through this time of year and I’ve never told my kids there was no santa I’ve let them figure it out on their own
More than likely a 3 yr old wont remember this year anyways. I would wait until they come to you on the matter in my opinion just so he can be a kid and enjoy some of the activities. My kids are 2 and 3 and they love anything christmas or santa and it makes me happy seeing them get excited.
I parent the same way as you do. I have told my children Santa does not exist. They still insist on believing in him. Nothing comes from santa in our house. They know he not a real person and never was.
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My opinion is let the kids believe. Its part of the magic of Christmas when they r little. It only last a short while and with all the other issues/problems (whatever you want to call it that happens in a persons daily life) Santa is something that is magically for a child. It gives them something to believe in this time of year that doesnt come with conditions or consequences of daily lives. Let them believe as long as possible. Its part of the joy of having kids this time of year. There may not be a santa, and i may not ever be thanked for the stuff i get my boys but the look on their faces Christmas morning is a feeling i never want to loose. Ive done santa with my boys since my oldest was 2 months old and dont regret one minute of it. 
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I have a social worker as a great friend, she makes a good point. If you do Santa maybe make it a couple small things. Let the kids know mom and dad bought the big stuff. She gets letters from kids and foster kids asking why other kids Santa loves them more. They got big stuff from Santa. Maybe make it something small from Santa… The rest from mommy. Your dad would be sad in heaven knowing he was the cause of this little boy not getting all of his mommies attention.
Jewish mother here.
When my kids were little, I told them that Christmas was not our holiday (trust me, we have plenty) so Santa doesn’t visit us. When they got older, one of my friends told them that we tell little kids that Santa is a person because it’s the easiest way for them to understand. However, he is really an idea.
He is the idea of doing good without anyone knowing it was you. So everyone gets to be Santa by anonymously doing good deeds for others. This includes…letting little kids believe and not spoiling it for them. This makes you a Santa. It also explains why parents give the gifts and say it’s from Santa.
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I didn’t even read all of this before I had to say something. First of all…why take a joyous moment away from your son that you enjoyed yourself as a child? Or even have to ask about it? He is your child.
Let the little one believe in magic a little longer, why not just include one small gift from santa, then you can also let them know you work really hard to have a good christmas with them.
As someone who lost her father and felt the same way, we pushed through and made it beautiful and joyous. Whether its Santa or just family and love and friends, as long as its love filled it’ll be ok. So sorry for your loss. It rocked my whole world and I went into a deep depression. All I can say is push through it and try to make the best out of each and everyday like your dad would want.
I’m not big on the Santa Idea and don’t think I will be passing on that “tradition” to my son. 
My son is only 4 months old though so I still have time to change my mind.
I think it comes down to what you like.
I personally don’t remember being hurt about the whole “santa doesn’t exist thing”
BUT i do remember a lot of children being hard broken over the years because of it. I see it as COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY. There are plenty of other ways to make Christmas magical. 
But that’s only my point of view.
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Use Santa as a teaching moment. That the idea that Santa bring out the best in people by his giving spirit. And that this time of year should always remind us to be good to one another.
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I encourage my kids to believe in santa only because there is only so much magic in a lifetime. Of course they will eventually know the truth and as an adult you know that magic is not real. I want them to feel magic in their childhood because this is the only time in their lifetime that things will be magical. I want them to look back as an adult and have those fond memories of a magical childhood. That’s my personal preference. Everyone should do what they want and what works for them. There is no wrong or right way. Only the way that you choose.
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We don’t do gifts from santa. We don’t much care for lying to our daughter and having her heart break later.
Her father believed in Santa and his mom destroyed him when she told him that she was santa and he doesn’t want our daughter to experience that.
I on the other hand grew up not having Christmas until I was about 5/6 because we were being raised Jehovah’s Witness, after my parents divorced we did everything except Halloween, but never did the santa thing either.
To a child it’s magic I would do it I told my it was the spirit of Santa Later on was told I lied but reminded he Spirit of Christmas I too had a death in family 3 and 2 years ago I cry and miss them but I still do Christmas for their sake Merry Christmas
So I’m super honest too. And I way over explain, and my special needs child needs short directions, so it actually backfired on me. But she’s 10 now so if I can keep her attention long enough I can explain things. She’s all about Santa, even at 10, and now she has a baby brother, so they can do Santa together, which is so great. But she’s at an age where everyone else is getting done with Santa. So when she started questioning me, I told her the truth. Santa only brings a gift to those who believe, and he will continue to leave you a gift for as long as you believe in his magic. Our Santa only brings 1 gift and we buy the rest, in case she encounters a child who doesnt receive much at Christmas. I also told her that “Some parents tell their kids that all the presents are from Santa because that’s probably what their parents told them, and that’s what they want to tell their kids too. But mommy thought you deserved to know that not every kid gets as many gifts as you do, and that’s not because Santa loves one child more than another.” You can be honest and not take away their imagination. If kids tell her Santa’s not real, she says “that’s just because you don’t believe in him.” Find the middle ground.
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I raised my older two believing in santa but never lied to my youngest when it was her turn. I liked it better the second way and I don’t feel like my youngest ever got “jipped” in comparison. I will post what I found to be a great explanation I just have to find the pic 
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I feel like this post is all about you how you feel how you lost your father how you were raised it was pretty hard for me to get all the way through… this isn’t about you this is about your kid … let your kid be a kid
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Do you also believe that other fairy tales are lies also ??
Don’t miss this opportunity with your child, and don’t cheat him/ her of a childhood, they should learn to dream and make wishes, as they will throughout life.
You might be out of spirits because of losing your dad. I’m sorry to hear about that. As far as Santa, he’s so young that he might not remember if you do or don’t go see him. Having an imagination is healthy for kids and it’s not a bad idea. It teaches to give, be blessed, and family values. I’ve never made a big deal out of it until I had my son. Either way, you’re still a great mom. Merry Christmas and Happy Year New to you and your family!
I grew up a Jehovah witness and didn’t get to experience any of the holidays or get to know the excitement of Santa comin to bring something special for me. Let your kid experience this! I have two older 14 & 12 and two younger 5 & 6 and the older got to experience the belief and now take joy in helping their little brothers believe in something more then there is! Let their imagination run wild! Let them be innocent and full of wonder because not having that experience will stick with them!
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Kids can still have just as much fun on Christmas without us having to lie to them
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Let the little ones believe in magic! My dad said he would never lie to us. So unless we asked him directly he let us believe. One day my brother asked my dad and he finally told him. Your not lying to them. Your letting them believe and experience magic while they are little. Never once have i heard of a kid being mad because their parents let them believe in santa.
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Our son is 11.5 yr old. We explained to him (and will do each year until he fully understands) that Santa is not real. We have told him that all mommy’s and daddy’s buy the presents, some parents just choose to have their kids believe in Santa for the same reason some choose to have the Easter bunny and tooth fairy (which we’ve also explained are not real) because it’s a fun game of pretend.
Our religion strictly forbids believing in Santa, the tooth fairy, and Easter bunny. But we also decided to tell him young because we don’t want to have him grow up and get mad that we lied to him and find out they aren’t real on his own.
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Let kids be kids. They grow up too fast already. Let them believe in the magic
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I wouldn’t call it lying, it’s like playing pretend with your child till they figure out for themselves! It’s fun!
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Im knowing im gonna take heat on this one lol
Im a mom that has never done Santa Claus. Hello. My kids are still good kids, they love Christmas. They love gifting each other. We are Christian so my stance will be different than others. I have never agreed with celebrating a man with a belly, beard and red suit. Unfortunately that’s what kids focus on “what can this stranger bring me while I sleep?” My kids know that all their gifts are out of love, sometimes sacrifice because Christmas is expensive! I have never dropped the bomb if explaining his unrealness until they are older and I don’t think they will go “ruining” Santa for a believing kid, but I definitely tell them that Santa doesn’t do gifts, that parents do. Touchy topic im sure. I have other reasons as well but I don’t want to offend anyone or start a debate.
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This is so sad. Kids having to grow up too soon. Santa is giving, love, miracles! Let them feel the magic. When they get older you can explain Santa and teach them to keep it going for all kids!! Let them believe!!
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We are going to teach our children that it is fun make believe. My daughter is 2 and we have on on the way. Same with the tooth fairy and Easter Bunny. We don’t want our daughters thinking it’s real just to tell them later it was all a lie. We still do pictures with Santa and have holiday traditions. We just don’t say this guy is actually real. We will also let them know other kids do believe it’s real so not to spoil their fun.
My ex didn’t want us to let the kids believe in Santa at all. Ever. He said “Why should I give credit for all of the money I spent to some big fat invisible peeping Tom.” 
I never specifically said that there was or was not a Santa.
Last year my youngest daughter (just before she turned 12) asked me to tell her the truth. I sat her down and explained that Santa isn’t a person, he is a symbolic figure of a concept, an idea. Yes, there IS a REAL Santa, and he lives within each and every person who has the desire to bring joy and happiness to others without expecting anything else in return. So, while he isn’t a real person, the idea of Santa SHOULD be alive in all of us at least once a year.
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My brother said he wasn’t gonna let his children believe in Santa that was almost 7 years ago, needless to say he called my dad and told him to pretend like Santa last year and to tell my youngest nephew he needed to listen, you may feel like you don’t want your child to believe now but the feelings will change.
Let your children be children. Explain the meaning of Christmas but Santa is special don’t take this away from your child. My children believed until they were 18. It makes Xmas so special!
Let your kid be a kid!
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My kids don’t believe in Santa and yet there are still gifts from Santa for them 
I also have never used gifts from Santa as motivation for them to be good.
While you may be big on explaining things, I hope you’re talking to him in a way he understands because he’s only 3. “Mommy needs to get dressed” is enough for a 3 year old.
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This is our first also, he’s 2 1/2. We told him that Santa is the spirit of Christmas and as long as he believes then he’s real. That Santa is Christmas magic for kids. We bought his presents and he knows where they are hidden. We told him Santa has to approve them before Christmas. We also let him watch the FedEx guy deliver the presents and told him that was the real Santa. He watched in awe and said, “wow, the real Santa.” It helps that the delivery guy had a full white beard.
I think no matter which way you go is okay as long as you have their best interests in mind.
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When my son was a infant I did santa picture,at 1 did another after that he was scared and we stopped. I never talked about Santa I didn’t want to force a fake person onto him.
Now he is in kindergarten and 5 years old he believes in Santa and asked to go see him, I caved and let him see Santa.
First of all you aren’t “RUiNinG cHRiTMas!!!” 
Not believing in Santa isn’t going to ruin his childhood. He will be just fine getting excited for all the other wonderful things associated with it.
Using some fat man in a suit to manipulate children into being good in order to add to the corporate greed and materialism never sat well with me.
We emphasize Yule more than Christmas, by baking a
Yule log, among other things to honour the old traditions surrounding the longest night. With our son he’s too young to understand the Santa concept but as he gets older we are going to explain the story behind the man and that we do these things to honour the tradition just like we do with Yule.
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How about letting him be a KID ya kno the magic. How about asking him if he wants to see and meet Santa. How about calming down and remembering the times as a kid that you enjoyed the magic and the nonsense.
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Omg I couldn’t even read half of this without saying wtf🤦♀️
Hes 3… let him be just that!
My son is 5 and I regret not doing Christmas bigger the past years. Because I look at my 5 year old and wonder where time went.
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Wait a minute, Santa isn’t real??
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The problem isn’t “lying” to your child, the problem sounds much deeper than that. Let your child be a child. They grow so fast and you should savor every minute of innocence you can. I’ve never heard of anyone ever being damaged for life believing in make believe as a child. If so, there’s a much greater issue. And as far as explaining everything in truth and detail to a child, makes no since. They are a child; not an adult! Their brain isn’t fully developed until they are between 18-21 if you are so ingrained in truth. Let them be children. You don’t involve children in adult issues. They’ll get enough of that in their life. Treat them with love and respect and as CHILDREN! They are not miniature adults. You didn’t give your infant table food straight out of the womb, did you. Or expect them to use the toilet independently, or know how to talk, did you. There are stages of life and childhood is one. A very short one. Don’t steal it from them. Sorry. I guess this got to me a little more than average. I’m a very strong child advocate.
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Scrooge, let that baby believe in Santa Claus as long as he wants to.
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Growing up we never did Santa. I still love Christmas, it was still magical! Never ruined it for other children either.
I won’t be doing Santa with my children either. I don’t like the lying aspect and I do know some children who it really upset and impacted as adults. So many ways to have a wonderful holiday without it. Do what you think is best.
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Having kids believing in Santa has nothing to do with them being good or bad… It’s about the magical spirit of Christmas. It’s about having something to believe in. It’s about Magic and miracles. It’s about keeping the Christmas spirit alive and the true story of Saint Nicolas, who was a real man who made wooden toys and would deliver them on horse and buggy to the poor kids. Remember how it made yoy feel as a child, the excitement of it all… Why would you denied your child that.
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HE. IS. 3! Let him be a child
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My son just found out this year Santa and all the gang are not real. He is almost 11. So i sat him down and explained the magic of Christmas. And i told him now you can be a part of making your younger sisters christmas magical. He loves watching their eyes light up when they find the elf. And he is helping me with Santa gift ideas. My son has dealt with losing a step father to cancer and losing other family members as well. He has had to deal with so much in his life. The little bit of magic that i could add for him was so well worth the inconvenience. Yes its a pain in the ass and technically a lie. But the spirit of Christmas is not. Family traditions and memories. Its not the gifts its the feeling. And now he knows and understands what im talking about and he loves being a part of it. They grow up so fast and in todays world innocence and magic are taken away so young.
Even if you are blunt mom santa isn’t really just he will be good it brings a little more fun and a lot more magic in the air for example my husband believed
I didn’t as kid it wasn’t allowed
He says Christmas was great as a kid
For me when I did presents I didn’t care really there was no excitement
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You’re probably not going to like what i have to say but…
Children are only little once. We grow up in a world that steals their innocence and forces them to grow up way too early.
Parenting is all about balance. I’m honest with my kids in an age appropriate way.
Talking about privacy and not seeing someone naked is age appropriate for my 6 year old but not my 2 year old. For the two year old “mommy needs to change” is more appropriate.
When it comes to christmas and santa. I’ve never once used it as a bribe. I look at it like its a childhood thing. It’s part of the fun, “magic”, and innocence of being a child. When they start asking and questioning it…them I’ll tell them the truth but its a perfect way to reiterate that it’s a time of year to be giving without expecting anything in return. Its perfect because “santa” (me, dad, and other family members) did it for them and now that they know its time to do it for someone else Its a way to explain that everyone who knows the secret is a “santa”.
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I’m sorry for your loss as for Santa. It’s a personal decision. You’re not hurting him if you decide not to do the Santa thing. As for “explaining everything and not sugar coating things,” He’s three and at that age all children are concrete thinkers. It’s not sugar coating things, but explaining to their level of understanding. You can’t talk to preschoolers like they are adults because they’re not. We do the Santa thing, but we don’t bribe them to be good. You will never hear me say “Santa isn’t going to bring you presents if you don’t behave.” Misbehaving is part of childhood. No child is going to listen or behave 100% all the time. They’re not born knowing how to act. As adults, we don’t do everything we’re supposed to do 100% of the time. How could we expect that from a child?
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Your poor child… talk about depriving him of his childhood.
I have never understood this viewpoint. Most children stop believing by 10 years old. Why would you want to rob your kid of believing in Santa??? I don’t get it. Let kids be kids. The world will give them a reality slap far earlier than it should… don’t be a Scrooge. Let your child believe… smh
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Just remember… once you take Santa away. You cant give him back. So the christmas shows like rudolph and miracle on 34th street and Frosty the snowman will be nothing more than a movie. The non religious songs like jingle bells. Rudolph the red nosed raindeer will have no meaning or joy. Dont take away a childs childhood and fantasy just because its your choice to do so. Did you take away the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy too?
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Leave Santa out still give gifts from you and family and give praise to GOD and JESUS. Santa is not real the idea of him comes from a man who did gift items to needy children (so I was taught as a child) your child will obviously hear about santa I would just explain the holiday and enjoy it with your child.
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Seriously? Do not take Santa from him. It’s such a good memory for myself and my kids love it. I don’t know why you’d take that from him and what if he tells other kids?
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I’m sorry to hear about your loss, but if your child believes let him be a child, they are only little for so long!!! My son is 4 and I love seeing his face and expressions of being excited and happy… and I love making a big deal about it for him, he also knows the true meaning of Christmas … I’ve had a loss not at Christmas time but I wouldn’t take it away for my son… when he is old enough he will be taught what I was taught, and that is whoever gives a gift on Christmas is his Santa Claus
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1 gift from Santa. Some thing meaningful and nice. Nothing overly expensive or flashy.
Hes 3…let him have the magic. Dont take away the magic. That’s not fair.
We do only 1 Santa gift. The rest is from us. (We have 2 kids, so each kid gets a gift from santa, and then a together gift-board game- from Santa)
It’s not lying. Tooth fairy…Easter bunny…santa…they are part of the magical wonders of being a child. Dont take that away because your grown up mind doesn’t get it.
Hes an innocent little 3 year old.
Just loving all the name calling and highly judgmental comments. Do your best to let those slide.
I have some of the same feelings, conflicted ones. How I handle it, is I don’t push it. I just allow it to exist. If my daughter wants to believe in it, she is free to. But I don’t push her to sit on a strange mans lap, I don’t scream about a fictitious man showing up on Christmas night etc. She is free to participate in all crafts, reading books and movies regarding the fantasy.
Your child will have their own thoughts. My daughter is 5 and has come home saying (not asking) that there’s no way that a single man can deliver to every single child in the whole world. She also has said to me “So we just saw santa at the mall, and now he is on the street corner ringing a bell and he looks different” They will come to terms with it on their own. I truly believe that my daughter WANTS to believe, but deep inside knows it’s not real. I haven’t confirmed or denied anything at this point. I love seeing little minds work and formulate their own thoughts.
The only reason I don’t tell her the truth outright is because 1. If she does find joy in it, then I am all for it. and 2. I wouldn’t want her to run rampant at school telling people he isn’t real, for the sake of the other children (not their parents)
Follow your gut with YOUR child. I tend to find this a gray area, whereas apparently most see it as black or white. Allow conversation to be open. If you feel like it is lying, then go with it. Do not allow the masses on the internet to tell you what is “right” or “wrong”…if those words even should hold any value.
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Well only you can make that Decision.
I feel the pros are the magic of Christmas,
Giving for no reason at at, faith in what you can’t see.
Cons are other kids running around telling them he isint real,
no matter How many times you tell kids not to ruin it for others the 1st time they get mad at them they throw it in their face. I have seen it many times over the years of working with children.
Santa makes Christmas magical. I wouldn’t take Santa away because in time he will find out on his own he isn’t real. He’s only little once and trust me he’ll forgive you for “lying to him” lol
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Let him believe in Santa, tooth fairy, Easter bunny, st. Nick! It’s fun for them and they enjoy it has nothing to do about lying. Don’t take the Christmas miracle out of that boy!!
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Let him be a child! Mine 3 are grown up and so will your son. In the blink of an eye their childhood passes. I would never have told mine the truth. Don’t take Christmas away from children!
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Some parents are guilty of clipping their kids wings too early 
Hes 3. Let him believe in Santa.
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I did Santa with my kids when they were very young. As they got older I explained that Santa isn’t about the presents, it’s about the giving spirit of Christmas. Helping those in need, and togetherness. On a side note, your three year old shouldn’t be left in the bath tub alone and stepping out of it without adult supervision to make sure he doesn’t fall and hurt himself. There’s just so many dangers with children and water (and slippery bath tubs). A child can drown in an inch of water
Sorry for your loss,but please don’t take Santa or a beautiful Christmas away from him.Soon enough he will learn the whole truth.Let him be a child as long as he can.
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I told my son about Santa. He was a person. What he did. And that he died. Its no big deal. we focus on Jesus for Christmas not toys or santa.
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But there IS a santa. he lives in each one of us. we gift our loved ones because we love them and take on that santa role. It is a magical time and if you will let it, that magic will spill over to you and yours
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So I am also a very blunt mother. I don’t baby talk my kids I don’t sugarcoat anything. We don’t call our privates pee pee or anything silly like that, they know they have a penis and mommy’s have vaginas they know that’s the difference between boys and girls. However when it comes to Santa we do try to embed that magic into the house. It gives the kids something to look forward to plus now that I have one in school and one about to be I don’t want them running to school and ruining it for other children as well. I was always told growing up as long as you believe, gifts will come. I kind of go by that with my kids too. They’re 7, 4 and 4 months and so far they all still believe in the magic of Christmas. Even when you son is old enough to doubt Santa that is always your choice on how to handle that…I don’t look at it as bribing our kids but more as adding something a little more special to the holidays!
Let the kid has some fun while he is young!
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I didn’t read all of the comments so someone may have suggested this…I raised my children knowing that Christmas was the birthday celebration for Jesus. We make cakes every year even though they’re grown. They still got presents but as they got older I explained that Jesus wants us to give of ourselves like He gave Himself for us. The presents were a special way on a special day for me to give of myself. At about 3 years old, they started picking angels off trees at Walmart who were their own age and we bought gifts, that my children chose, for them. They decided that they were “santa” at that point.
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YOU CAN STILL BE HONEST AND UP FRONT WITH YOUR KID AND THEM BELIEVE IN SANTA!! I’m not one to baby my kids either but gosh dang once you have kids it’s about THEM not you. Kids believe in everything especially Santa and all the others. My kid loves Christmas and talks about how she wants to ask Santa for every toy on tv. She even loves her elf on the shelf. She’s 3 almost 4. Let children be children. Don’t make them grow up fast. Even when my kids are teens I’m still gonna get excited about them seeing what Santa brought them.
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I remember whenever I was still really little, I believed in santa so hard and counted down the days of when I could see him(mall, or other events) and get presents. My father went to a rehab and for whatever reason said it was a sin to lie to me so he sat me down and told me they were all fake and it absolutely crushed me. It’s such a fun thing to believe in and I to this day wish he wouldn’t have done that. Please let your child have something to believe in. Watch their eyes light up whenever you take them to events that Santa is at and how excited they get Christmas morning when he wonders which gifts are from santa and what he got him and the magic of knowing that santa loves him and as a parent it’s my favorite thing to watch my kids on Christmas morning because they’re so excited that Santa left them surprises. 
I think Santa is harmless if done thoughtfully. In my family, we knew that Santa only filled the stockings and maybe one gift. But that the rest were from mom and dad and siblings. It kept Santa from becoming too big of a deal so that when we were told the truth it wasn’t a big deal. Plus I don’t know anyone who has some trust issues with their parents because they lied to them about Santa
My daughter is 9 and I get sad knowing this is probably her last year believing. Its your kid your choice but you can do Christmas however you want. I dont look or talk about Santa as a type of threat for good behavior. I feel like at 3 he hasn’t even had time to understand and enjoy Christmas. For me it is and was all about the look on my kids face.
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People seem to forget that the idea of Santa did infact come from a real person, St. Nick. So you can explain and introduce the idea of giving and St. Nick and the gifts without the falsehood if a fat man coming down the chimney… You don’t have to be super serious with him about it now but call him by St. Nick instead if santa so he can have a growing understanding over the years.
My kid learned early on that mom was "santa"
. She doesnt believe in any of these fantasy figures.
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Do Santa or don’t do Santa. It’s not that big of a deal. If you decide not to and then put your child in school, expect questions. But also, your child is 3, talk to him as a 3 year old, in a way he will understand. He’s not an adult, stop treating him as one.
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I was raised not being allowed to believe in santa, and I feel like I missed out on the magic of Christmas that every other kid I knew got to experience.
My siblings were raised the same way, my older sister is not allowing her son to believe in Santa so I guess it comes down to how the individual child feels. I wish I had been allowed to believe and I made sure that my children believe(d) and didn’t let anyone ruin that for them.
I didnt use santa as a threat or bribe, I use him to build anticipation. I also had Santa give the more boring gifts and wrote mom on the big exciting ones so she wouldnt be as disappointed when she found out he wasnt real.
Do what you want
But no one I ever met has ever regretted their parents “lying” to them about Santa
I’m blunt af with my kids - but I at least created a little magic for them with Santa
Get one gift from Santa - the rest from you
Not in the spirit? I tell you what - that little one getting excited about Xmas morning will warm your heart
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My kids are 6, 5, and 3. And I’ve never let them believe in Santa. For one thing, I don’t like that “he” gets all the credit, which I guess is more of a pride thing. But the most important part of it for me was that I’ve always been 100% with my kids. I never lie to them, and Santa is a huge lie. And I don’t want them to believe something like that for years and then find out and be upset with me for lying to them, I don’t want them to feel like they can’t trust me. So, they know that Santa is a man in a costume, just like we wear costumes on Halloween, and they know that mommy buys the presents. Knowing that helps when I have to go to work and they get upset. At that point I’m able to tell them I need to go to work to get money for presents and clothes.
It’s 100% your choice. You’re the mom, do what feels best for YOUR kids. 
Hes a fictional character… no different then spider man or disney princess… let tgem believe in the magic santa brings… theres nothing wrong with it.
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Let your child be a child and believe in
the magic of Christmas. He will find out soon enough about Santa. I know the sadness of missing a parent during this season, but at least go thru the motions for your child. Maybe seeing him enjoy Christmas will bring you some joy
Make sure he also knows ths true story of Christmas.
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Santa made me not trust parents when I found out it’s all a big lie…why give the kid reason not to trust.
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I’d say if you do anything with santa maybe tell it as a story like frosty and Rudolf…maybe share when they get older how Santa came to be and St nick
Santa is definitely not a necessity
We never really talked about santa in our family and the kids have no issue receiving gifts without his name on them
I’m a very blunt mom for example, don’t run out into the road a car will hit you and kill you or don’t jump off of that you’ll crack your head open kinda mom but I would never ruin the magic of Christmas for my children. My daughter is 7 and has all kinds of questions of how on earth can Santa be real and I do my best to make up stories for her to keep believing. To each their own when raising their children but they are only little for a short time and before you know it he won’t believe in Santa anymore so I personally would keep it going for as long as possible. It’s a fun and magical time of the year for children.
To add my nephew was 9 when my mom blurted out that Santa wasn’t real and he actually found it quite hilarious lol. He wasn’t mad as they get older they hear things from other kids and what not that eventually ruins it all for them anyways. So I don’t see any harm in giving them a few magical years of a pretend guy that brings joy and presents and love into their homes and imaginations every year
I never believed in the fictional santa clause that has reindeers and flies. I just got told where my gifts came from and trust me it would save your kids from the heartache of finding out he’s not real. But the fictional santa clause is based on a real man named St. Nicholas. He was from turkey but he didn’t fly or break into people’s houses he simply made gifts and gave them to little children. The rest is a bunch of bologna. Momma don’t lie to him just tell him he won’t get Christmas if he isn’t a good boy!! My parents threatened to not give us gifts one year but it’s really up to you. Santa clause is not real so your doing the right thing by not lying to him!!
I was conflicted about doing santa too but came up with a compromise. Santa will only bring one or two small gifts, I won’t lie if she asks me if Santa is real when she’s old enough to question it, we will not use santa as a threat or say santa is always watching.
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