Ladies! Tell me I’m not crazy. My current spouse and I were having issues over the summer, so we spilt. The same night we split, he ended up going to some girls house. At first he lied to me about it, and eventually told me where he was. He told me he went there to ask for relationship advice. I think we all know what happened. Well flash forward to now, I get a screenshot between a friend of mine and the girl I think he cheated with. She was saying how they slept together and blah blah. So I go thru my spouses phone, and there was a message from March between him and friend asking if “he shacked up with that NAME chick?” He responded to saying, call me. Mind you, this was in March, I had JUST had a baby late feb. I didnt found out about this girl until Aug 17. I did notice that around that time that girl was liking ALL his pictures. He swear he didn’t sleep with her BUT why else would she admit to it, and why else would his BEST FRIEND ask that? I of course messaged her and she denies it. But why else would he say that?
uh uh… hey beavis… I think you scored
They definitely slept together.
They definitely slept together
Why else did he boogy to her house, day one.
Definitely slept together
He def slept with her, but if you guys weren’t together it’s not cheating. Shitty thing to do no doubt
Sorry but yeah they did it
Yeah they definitely did…the reason he said call me is he didn’t want it to be in writing where you could go back and prove it
Cause he’s a cheater and a liar
Why hold onto it. Let it go move forward or for peace split from him.
You know the answer. You just don’t want to accept it. Leave him
Girls don’t usually lie about sleeping with someone, they may lie and say they didn’t when they really did but not usually the other way around because of the whole stigma of the “number”. And the guy wouldn’t need his friend to call him to talk about it if there was nothing to talk about.
I’m sorry.
Oh you already know the answer and the fact that he is still in contact with her or was recently, oh heck no.
It’s possible she’s vindictive, jealous & trying to start rumors. But then I’d think his response to his friend would be no not ‘call me’. I guess it’s possible he’d want to know more info about the question like where he heard it from etc which can’t really be related in text well. Personally, I’d get rid of him. Cheaters rarely stop cheating or lying.
Wait how is it cheating if yall weren’t technically together?
I mean, if he did cheat are you staying with him or leaving? If you’re gonna stay then why go through all of this drama. Even if he did it why y’all were seperated if you still plan to stay then all this is for nothing
Bet they didnt sleep , you know the truth
It’s not cheating if you guys broke up…. Not saying it’s right but it’s not cheating
Alright look. You said y’all split and he left the home. Unfortunately what he has done when yall weren’t together doesn’t matter. He didn’t cheat. He was single. It doesn’t matter now.
If you split up then how was it cheating ? Maybe he just wanted to feel loved
You accepted him back with the possibility that he cheated; therefore it’s like beating a dead horse… don’t put yourself through the misery. You broke up with him for a reason. Never go back and definitely don’t get pregnant.
You need to get tested for std’s, he lied about sleeping with her so you cant gamble that he bagged it up, then decide if inability to trust is a dealbreaker
If you broke up stay out of it and move on with your life. If he is that shady you’re better off without him.
So she was in the picture for months before you split up and the first thing he cared to do that very first night was go over there. You need to let his ass go. He’s making a fool of you.
Ok you know the answer. They slept together but technically you weren’t together so it wasn’t cheating, it wasn’t nice but he didn’t do anything wrong. The thing he is doing wrong is lying about it. You need to decide if you want to stay in the relationship or not. Tell him you know that he slept with her but you need trust and honesty in the relationship not lies otherwise the relationship is doomed.
What’s the advice you’re looking for exactly lol
You weren’t together it’s not something for you to be concerned about
Even if you guys split, if you had the intention of getting back together (which it sounds like you both did) then him sleeping with another woman during that time was deliberate. I know people who constantly “break up” with their spouses so they can go off and cheat on a technicality. Not worth the drama. Life is too short. Know your worth and leave.
Leave him. Once a cheater always a cheater.
You already know the truth the question is what’s your next step? Forgive and move on together or have him go.
My x used to say that the reason he called 900 numbers was for realionship advise…you know that he did you just want to see some written proff even thou that doesn’t change anything.
Either he comes clean & tells you the truth (remember - you were apart when it occurred) or you stay apart. He doesn’t have to tell you. Of course you want to know, but what happens when you are not together is between the other parties, not between you & him. I do completely understand how you feel about the situation. He may not want to tell you to spare your feelings. I wish you luck
You know he did. Move on
Why ask, when you know the answer? Does it matter now??
But seriously run, trust your gut if he gets away with it once he’ll do it again. Save yourself
If you split up, he didn’t cheat. But he should still be honest with you about what happened so you can move on. You need to be able to trust him for it to work
Throw the whole dude away
Y’all weren’t together. What happens when you aren’t together is really none of your business
Okay. If I understand this right, you guys broke up in the summer and the same night he slept with someone. While you weren’t together. And then in March his friend asked him if he slept with said girl. Maybe his friend didn’t find out until March.
He didn’t do anything wrong. You weren’t tg. He had a one night stand with some chick. I mean, he’s wrong for lying about it. But he’s probably lying about it NC you’d blow it out of proportion like you are now lol.
Move on. You were both single.
If you have to go to such great lengths to get the truth then whats the point of keeping on with the relationship? He’s already broken your trust and apparently isn’t working on getting it back so your choices are… Keep putting up with second guessing everything and going through all that drama to get the truth or just say screw it and realize your self worth and move on… personally I’d move on
Of course he’s going to tell you he didn’t. Have you just straight up asked the girl
They absolutely slèpt together
Wait she said current spouse sooooo are you guys still together ?
I’d have an issue with, most likely with the timeframe you stated, the other woman was on his radar for more than a minute. You two split and he runs right over to her? Literally, the same day/night? For “advice”?
Hun, you already know…
Be done -or- demand COMPLETE transparency from him and seek advice from a licensed counselor, instead from the seemingly-single people where you live.
A STD test is probably a good idea too.
Don’t say you guys “split up” if you are gonna say it’s cheating. This is totally Ross and Rachel
I bet my left kneecap they slept together.
It doesn’t matter though, yeah it may hurt because y’all had just broken up, buttt it’s just that simple y’all broke up.
Well she really do not have to answer you because her loyalty does not lye with you, your husband is the person that you should be questioning but if his bff texted him that and he told him to call him that says more than enough so what advice do you need? Are you asking should you go or stay well only you can answer that question that is nobodies place to tell you that but what I would suggest to you is to love yourself more than to be mistreated by anyone and do what is best for you and your peace of mind
If your asking should you move on. The answer is yes.
Why do yall call and message the other woman, but don’t leave the man🤔
Didn’t you post this in another group ?? And receive feedback to just run for the hills…?
If y’all split up he didn’t cheat.
In this world today I’m finding it very hard to TRUST people
If they hooked up the same night y’all split, then there was already some type of feelings before you even split!! Technically he didn’t cheat, yes legally y’all were still married. Depends on if you can trust him or not
He definitely slept with her that night and more than likely slept with her before then as well. I hope you don’t put up with his bullsh*t any longer.
You said y’all split that night. I know it sucks, and I wouldn’t like it either but that night is non of your business. If you wanted it to be you shouldn’t have “split”. Let it go, and honestly probably let him go too. Non of this would even be a thing if his relationship with you was so important. If you both want to continue though you have to let this go, and moving forward ask for space apart when you need it instead of breaking up. It’s obvious that’s what you wanted, but that’s not what you did so that night is non of your business.
so he slept with her!!.. your going to do one or to things here stay or leave??? whatever it is do it and live in it don’t mean should harsh I probably gonna be hated for this- but if faithfulness is a requirement for your relationship why are you battling I have unpopular opinion…of men and sex!! but what I will say is if your gonna stay forgive and move forward if not!! move on!! to many woman stay!! think they can change the person or be better drive theirselves insane and then later cry and say they should have left first time only you deside your standards you don’t need us to work you up stay or go!! whatever it is live 100 in your choice
Run. You’re not crazy. He was probably sleeping with her long before you caught on
They definitely did “a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on” I’ve been there before and turns out they did too
If y’all were spilt up then he didn’t cheat.
He definitely did something. Why would she admit to it to another friend? Why would his best friend message and ask if he did and his reply was call me…why not just say no if he didn’t? Plus he lied to you about being there in the first place then tried to back track it by saying he was there for advice. Either way Hun, you all split. So technically he didn’t cheat. But if you all married, then yes that’s cheating unless you all are legally separated. You can do one of two things, move on and work on your relationship or leave him. The choice is yours and yours alone. But if you stay, you have to forgive him and let the past go.
You probably know the answer
He’s full of shit she’s the reason Ur having relationships issues
Watch him Close(if you plan to stay).
Wether he technically cheated or not, if there is no trust it will never work. This will be in the back of your mind forever so unless you want to drive yourself nuts trying to figure it out, which you never will, what’s the use in wasting precious moments of your life
She denied it because he told her too…
I was in a similar situation… and 100% he did it!! I am still with him 2 years later and I’m out the door soon!! I wish I could say I was a forgiving woman but it just hurt way to much
This was posted a week or two ago. Why are we getting repeat posts weeks apart? Nothing new to post??
just walk away,
that trust is broken, and sadly, once it happens, it happens again, and again because said man would know he could just keep doing these things, lying, hiding it…
keep the vicious cycle going and you develop what is called a trauma bond.
i’m there now. and after six years, i can say this is the fifth time i know about. but i figured because we ‘were fighting/not together’ it was forgivable.
Blehhh to people telling you to “watch him close” if you stay. If you are having to watch someone closely- just be done. Ruining your peace of mind over a man is never ever ever ever worth it.
Something probably happened that night. But you weren’t together and for whatever reason, he didn’t end up being in a relationship with her and wanted to be with you instead. You guys just had a baby. Try your best to move past it. Just keep an eye out. If nothing else happens and this was the only thing…I think you guys should be just fine. Congratulations on the new baby
Good relationship advice,
get over it(really get over it don’t bring it up anymore if you’re going to stay with him!
Or get out of the relationship!
You all was separated!
The worse thing you can do is lie to yourself. You know he slept with her. That done. Now you decide what you need to do. From a single mom, it isn’t as bad as you think. Woman like us are unbreakable!
You already know. No need to ask others. Sorry this happened to you.
For him to be that comfortable going straight to her house after you guys split he was already being with her.
So if you were split up it’s really not your business *except… it kinda is.
Soo know that’s a wierd one but it shouldn’t matter if he did or not because you were not together. But it does matter because sex is very interpersonal. So if my partner sleeps with someone else I’d much rather them be honest with me regardless of we’re together or not (if we’re still being intimate I want to know if your sleeping with other people and if your using protection or not).
It becomes a health issue, are you being safe.
Literally there’s not a damn thing that make me love my partner less, if we weren’t together and split up and slept with someone else I’d want to know, so if we’re sleeping together again we’re probably not using protection. (I’ve been with my boyfriend for Over three years I consider him my life partner we haven’t broken up or split or taken a break, or anything like that. So we don’t use protection.
I’d want to know because if he did
- Did you use protection?
Yes - cool that’s the end of it.
No?
- Did you get tested?
Yes-cool we’re good to go.
No- then you can use protection until you go get tested.
Coming from an overly cautious person, sex can still transfer STDs. So yes in the sense of your health it’s a discussion that needs to happen and be handled with honesty.
But as for being upset about it or mad that he did sleep with someone else, you weren’t together so at that point he didn’t owe you his loyalty. It may be hurtful but if your going to be together it’s something you have to get over.
Your not Crazy
He is for cheating on you. Run and don’t look back! He will continue to lie and cheat:woozy_face: He’s a Loser
Well he sounds like a jerk. However, you said you guys had split…
If u are asking this than u already know the answer. I feel like if no trust is there the realtionship is done. Move on u will feel so much better than worrying about him and what he has done or still possibly doing.
I think you know what the truth is go with your gut !
Sadly, you’ll never really know. He sounds like a shady person and I wouldn’t give him another opportunity to break you anymore.
Y’all were broke up what he did isn’t any of your business
I have one word for you. Maury.
Mam, I think you know he cheated on you. You need to divorce him. You just had a newborn and he did this!
He has no shame!
You give good advice
He’s lying. Just leave
Been there if ur checking his phone u no answer what u choose to do is your decision
So are you together?
It’s like a Ross and Rachel situation. WE WHERE ON A BREAK!
Because he is a cheater.
Him and her are playing you for a fool. Cut him loose!
Red flags. He cheated and probably was before. Either he confesses. And you choose to work things out or leave. Or he doesn’t and you either stay and let this dig and dig and dig at you untill it mentally and emotionally breaks you. Or you leave
Trust your instincts
Why do you care remember y’all had split up.
The SAME night you split up he goes straight to another woman’s house? Ummmmm, right there is where the problem is. For relationship advice?! He could have gone to drown his sorrows in a bar with guys and some beer. He could have played sad love songs at home and cried over you but no, he went to her.
Even if you were “on a break” - you were also pregnant?! Massive disrespect on his part imo.
I mean he’s already done lied to you, How much more of the truth do you not see… It’s a hard situation but you should trust that gut instinct… He’s not about you…
Why are you still with him
He will never admit to his wrong doings. But he will blame it on you. That you made him make those drastic decision. Leave and move on…