I have been with this man for about 5 years or so, I have sponsored him into this country and ever since I sponsored him, things have changed. We no longer talk about marriage or having more children together… he just keeps saying “when the time is right” whenever I bring up the topics. We have one daughter together and I have two from previous relationships. He loves his daughter so much and would do anything for her. We have had our struggles for the past few years but always able to work them out. That is a little bit of our background… He is planning a trip back home to his Arabic Country, myself and my daughter are going with him. We will leave in about a months time, I was super excited but now doubt is starting to set in. Have you seen the movie “Not without my daughter”? I want to go back home with him but how do I question if he will return with me as I will be leaving my two other children home. I don’t want to upset him and want to look at this as a positive step in our relationship but he’s done a few shady things behind my back. And I know what you are all think “why is this chick going with him if she doesn’t even trust him”… I just can’t shake the big WHAT IF. I read somethings online saying if they are descendants of the country the father has a say whether the child can leave or not. Some people said online to get a letter but again I don’t want him to know I have these feelings
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Nervous for my daughter to leave the country with her foreign father
I’d get the letter and make sure it’s a legit safety net. He has been shady and I wouldn’t hesitate to be sure that he isn’t Shady again when it comes time to bring my baby home!
I don’t think I’d let the daughter go with the first time. Have that conversation and get the letter
Nope nope nope… Not with a letter, not with a notarized, signed in his blood. Just a nope. Sorry, as I’m sure that’s not what you want to hear, but you are already doubting this trip for a reason.
I wouldn’t go and I sure wouldn’t allow my daughter to go. Not to another country where you could get locked down for Covid, or made to leave your daughter there with him. Better safe than sorry.
Follow your gut and don’t go & don’t let him take your daughter either. Tell him she can go when she’s older & able to make that decision for herself. Just remember she’s your child too & you must protect her at all costs.
Not Without My Daughter - don’t be a fool and lose your child forever
I would tell him with all the covid restrictions and disturbance American in the middle east, you don’t feel safe.
Girl, you gotta keep your ass at home!!! There is no way in hell I would take my child to a country where women have no say and the fact that it is soooooo easy for them to keep my child!!! Nope, ain’t gonna happen. Think about your daughter and stop worrying about hid damn feelings! You and your daughter stay home and be safe.
I would get a custody order in play now. Your mother’s intuition kicked in for a reason. Emergency custody order. You can’t leave your other two child with a bad feeling in your gut. If he loves you at all he will understand. You said he’s been shady before. He knows that so he should allow time to pass before you think about this trip again.
I’m not you but my gut is already saying “don’t do it!”
Trust your gut instinct don’t let her go…. Stay strong
If you don’t trust him maybe you shouldn’t be leaving the country with him. Idk how to make you feel better.
Don’t go. There have been so many people who let their other half take a family trip back to their home country and then kidnap the kids and you can’t do anything about it.
Don’t risk it. Not without speaking to a lawyer first.
You could get stuck there because of Covid, not the best time to travel or separate yourself from your other kids. You may not be able to get back to them.
No… no… no… did you hear me say no…
If you feel uneasy about it do not go & do not let your child go. People are not always who they seem to be and you have those feelings for a reason.
I wouldn’t go and definitely not your child
I would not go or allow my child to go. Especially right now with covid and the way the government is being run. They could shut everything down without warning. Then your both stuck and who knows for how long. I have seen that movie. Do everything you can to keep your child and yourself in the states. Once you get there everything changes and you cant do anything about it. You play by their rules. You don’t hsve any say. You do things their way. You see what’s going on in Afghanistan people are being left behind.
Dont go trust your instincts.
This reminds me of my mum and my islander sister and her father… trust your gut Hun, it’s telling you to be uneasy for a reason.
I would not go and I would not let him take her.
Absolutely not - do not go!
I say this from experience
Leaving the country is not a good idea, I know people stuck overseas unable to get home. A return ticket means nothing.
As someone who is Arab and Ben to Arab countries please don’t let your daughter go, anything you do in America doesn’t mean shit, over there sadly it’s what the father of the child says goes and over there he has every right to keep her away from you and even keep you there since you’ll be considered his wife/property in Arab countries it’s hard asf to escape as well, I wouldn’t do this especially if he’s being sketchy with you just don’t
You are taking a risk… Now is not the best time to go out of The United States.
Don’t go. Use the covid/unsettled world at the moment as an excuse.
I’ve seen that movie!! Twice actually. Yikes, be safe no matter what u choose
No girl, please no. Don’t do something you will regret when you know deep down, your gut is against it.
Just blame covid and the unknown chaos it has/will cause, coming and going…it’s safe and you have no reason to be personally suspicious.
Don’t be defensive or turn down future plans, try to remain open… but for now, find a safe place for your babies and yourself.
Listen to your instinct
DO NOT GO!!! Women have no say in those countries! Not Without My Daughter is a true story of Betty Mahmoody and what she went through to get her daughter back to this Country. You need to think of your two other daughters too, what if he doesn’t let you come back?? Please listen to your inner voice who is letting you know something wrong. Not sure what “sponsor” means but if he’s not in the very least a resident I would call INS on him! Sorry but my children’s safety comes first
Ya please don’t go. Your instincts are kicking in. I don’t think the risk is worth the answer to “what if”. What if you lose your kid and have to come back to the states without her? Is that worth it? Is HE worth it?
Don’t go and keep your daughter home too.
Don’t go don’t let your daughter go… no way
Dont go! Please trust your instincts
I would have thought that not being married means you will have no rights at all in that country and no rights to your daughter.
If she has a passport I would put it somewhere he cant get it also talk to immigration and make sure he cant take her out of her country .
Remember you and daughter will be in his country! Things are a lot different there. Once he touches his country’s soil, he’s in charge and has ALL rights to the child.
Read Rescue My Child by Neil Livingstone. The men have all the say over there you are not going anywhere. My mom married a man from Bangladesh and he kept us there against our will. She had to sneak and call the US Embassy. The US Embassy had to sneak us out of the country. As our plane took off the government and police was trying to stop the plane.
Do not do it once u r there he will b able to keep ur child and there will nothing u can do about it… keep ur baby’s feet on american soil please
by the sounds of it he Used you to get into this Country… As You have said things have now changed since he got into this country. Yeah I wouldn’t Be going Or letting my daughter Go.
Please watch the movie Not without my Daughter before you go with him. There beliefs are different than ours how women are treated.
My advice to you is dont go. Or let your daughter go. Stay here were you and your daughter is safe. Trust your gut instincts.
Have YOU seen the movie? If so, then that should settle it
Do NOT go and tell him if he wants to go he can go by himself lol keep your kids safe!! Women don’t have half as many rights in said country.
Do let her leave the US!
Read up on the laws of where you are going surrounding all this stuff, I don’t think Hague convention is covered there.
Dont go and don’t let her go.
Do not take your daughter out of the country! Especially to an Arabic country. You will regret it.
Ummm yea, don’t go!!!
Let him take her and you won’t see her . If things have changed it can’t be trusted
please please don’t go . it’ll ruin both you and your daughters life.
No. Simply put, no. DO NOT DO IT!
Your gut instinct is there for a reason, listen!
Watch the movie Not Without My Daughter… based on a true story
There nothing good to be going there idk why u want to go there its won’t be a vacation try going to a resort somewhere on vacation
More than likely he will not marry u unless his family approves and the only way they will approve is if u bow down and do what ever he says and wear what they what u to wear ect… Dont go. If u dont live by their culture his parent will not like u and could end bad being in his country. I would not go or let ur daughter go.
Trust your gut. Stay home with all your kids! I wouldn’t want travel right now because of Covid - use that.
Please tell me you really aren’t THAT STUPID!!!
No way. I would “lose” the passports for both you & your daughter (burn them).
Trust your gut… in the end whatever happens was meant to happen and don’t feel bad for the outcomes. Either way they were going to happen. Goodluck honey
Burn your passports its obvious what hes going to do. Try get a custody order
Listen to your gut feelings! Don’t go and Don’t let your daughter go! He will have all control there!
Just because you’re mom doesn’t make you superior to her dad. I hate that women think they are over dad’s. If you’re so concerned get a court order. Dad’s are equal to mom’s!
Ok was on the same boat I married him but never would I take my kids anywhere they want to meet them come here trust your feeling as if second world country they have all rights you have none
You can always use covid as a reason to not go right now . Dont do things your momma instincts say not to .
Do you really trust him? I’m his home country he has the legal authority to imprison or kill you or your daughter.
No… From bad experiences and things ive witnessed. Please be careful that they dont keep your child and send you back home alone …
Do not go. Burn her passport and refuse to consent to a new one.
Over there it won’t matter if you have a letter or a court order. None of that will mean anything. This is one risk I would never take.
Always trust your gut and your instincts. Mother’s have intuition. But even I of trusted him and he has never done anything shady or behind my back I would not consider this
Don’t go! It’s so bad there and not safe.
Listen to your gut it is your second brain
IF ANYTHING, I’d be afraid this guy would take my child to this other country and take him or her away from me. BE CAREFUL. Just don’t let that child leave…! PLEASE.
Nope, you have that 6th sense feeling you go with it! Your second guessing, and that’s enough those are your mother instincts kicking. I think it will be wise for your daughter and yourself to stay behind on this one. In countries like that, women don’t have a say in things. It’s apart of their culture, which is respected.
Please dont go and don’t let your daughter go either
Oh hell no!! Do not let that child go to a Muslim country!! I’ve seen that movie too and that could very well happen! Women have no rights over there! He has all the power … he could literally keep her and nothing you can do about it. Don’t let her go… go with your gut.
You already stated yourself he loves his daughter more than anything. Regardless of u and his relationship if he’s a good dad like you say he’s perfectly entitled to his daughter and to want to show her his home country and maybe family etc. As much as I don’t nornally say these things it’s something that should been thought about before having children together if the doubt was there
Dads always get the rough end of the stick and for the good ones it’s not fair.
Don’t go. Go with your gut. I will always remember that movie not without my daughter. Lose her passport
It’s a big no for me. Especially with covid what if it shut down who would have the other to children. You can always call the American embassy and see what they tell you. They know the rules
- Which Arabic country should be, because not every of them have the same marriageable laws and regulations.
- Read through the country’s laws regarding of your situation, like you guys are not married officially but still what kind of rules applying to you and to your relationship.
- If you decide to go keep your passport and airplane tickets with you and make sure you have cash (both dollars and the country’s currency) with you all the time.
- Make sure that you know the phone number, address, email address of the USA Embassy from head.
- Before you go check with the Embassy and notify them of you and of your daughter staying, so they will know about you.
Read about Afghanistan
Don’t go he’ll keep your daughter !!!
No lawyer no papers no written anything NOTHING will hold up over there! It doesn’t matter what you get or who says what In those countries women have no rights!! Don’t go and do not let your daughter go!
If you have these feelings, concerns or doubts don’t take the risk.
Do not go. And you should probably leave him if you are afraid he will kidnap her he should be treated as any other person that would kidnap her and yes I believe it is a valid fear.
Which country and how old is she? Up until a certain age, in cases of divorce and such, the child stays with the mother in Muslim countries. Also, as long as she has a US passport u can call the embassy to get her out. As a child she most likely does not have an ID from the foreign country. That is in ur favor. I think you are okay, but if u think he doesn’t want to live in the states anymore and doesn’t want to be with you, then don’t go through the hassle and keep u guys in the states.
Go with your gut and you and your daughter do not go. Misplace her passport.
If your gut says something ain’t right then don’t do it!!!
Don’t go especially with everything thats going on right now. Always trust your gut in any situation women always know even if they don’t want to
I wouldnt go if you have a feeling or if u suspect anything shady do not go! You will be so far away if anything goes south! Whos to say he wont go over and cause you harm? I myself dont even have to question id definitely send him alone !!
Of course hes gonna take her…
Yeah naaa I wouldn’t be going……
U better take her before he does…go hide out!!
Go with your gut , better to loose him than your child
He’s done a couple of shady things…the trust is gone. Let him go
Okay for one COVID and I’m not like crazy on masks or the vaccine but that alone would be a no. Secondly the issues over seas with the Taliban would also be a big no
If its Pakistan, isreal etc, no I wouldn’t go or send child as you have no legal rights over there. The goverment takes the fathers side especially as your not married or Muslim. The police over there can be bought very easy.
Ummm. Nothing from America is going to hold up legally over there in regards to your daughters custody if dads on her birth certificate and dad wants to keep her there. Do NOT go over there or let your daughter go over there, you need to follow your gut feeling. Something is dinging in your head that something is off and you already stated he’s been acting weird and not going thru with plans after you went thru the process to sponsor him to bring him here. I personally wouldn’t do it having those feelings. Let him go back by himself.
Ugh I would not be leaving this country for any reason right now especially with Afghanistan, Iran all that going on you all may not make it back. When you leave this country you are no longer on American ground therefore if anything should go wrong it will take quite some time to get it straightened out. Be careful. Annnd if your gut instinct has you questioning it LISTEN TO THOSE INSTINCTS, they are always right.
I wouldn’t go,I would rather lose him than lose my child
Watch the movie “Not Without My Daughter” with Sally Field.