I have been with this man for about 5 years or so, I have sponsored him into this country and ever since I sponsored him, things have changed. We no longer talk about marriage or having more children together… he just keeps saying “when the time is right” whenever I bring up the topics. We have one daughter together and I have two from previous relationships. He loves his daughter so much and would do anything for her. We have had our struggles for the past few years but always able to work them out. That is a little bit of our background… He is planning a trip back home to his Arabic Country, myself and my daughter are going with him. We will leave in about a months time, I was super excited but now doubt is starting to set in. Have you seen the movie “Not without my daughter”? I want to go back home with him but how do I question if he will return with me as I will be leaving my two other children home. I don’t want to upset him and want to look at this as a positive step in our relationship but he’s done a few shady things behind my back. And I know what you are all think “why is this chick going with him if she doesn’t even trust him”… I just can’t shake the big WHAT IF. I read somethings online saying if they are descendants of the country the father has a say whether the child can leave or not. Some people said online to get a letter but again I don’t want him to know I have these feelings
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Nervous for my daughter to leave the country with her foreign father
If you keep having unshakable “WHAT IF” feelings and thoughts, that’s probably your intuition trying to get your attention. Listen to your gut. If you don’t trust this man, then do not go.
Oh boy, a lot can go wrong in Arabic countries. Men rule! Women have very little rights. I’d not let my daughter go.
I would not be going anywhere without ALL my children especially with covid , they could have lock down restrictions while traveling and then you’d be stuck there and your 2 other babies would be separated from you:(. I wouldn’t go personally there’s too much risk going on and especially leaving behind my other kids would be a big no no . He got into a relationship with you knowing you had children so it’s all or nothing
Is the daughter an American citizen? That might make a difference. Take the movie Not without my daughter to heart. It is based on a true story.
Every alarm bell is ringing for you right now.
Why even risk it if you don’t trust him? God forbid anything happens to your daughter you won’t be able to live with yourself. Any letter you get here anyway won’t be valid in an international country. Bring his family over instead
1…He loves HIS daughter, not your other kids . 2. Things have changed AFTER you sponsored him, which in my opinion is the very reason he came into your life.3. Arabic country…are you and your daughter expected to cover up? Do you need a man’s permission to step out. ? Do you know anyone else in that country / have consular access/ access to local money ? 4. You are not taking your other kids …there is a very very real possibility of you being stuck! 5. How old is 'his" daughter…does he plans to keep her there for ever to bring her up in their culture and marry her off (perhaps early?) . Lady my 8 year olds would tell you this is dangerous. Please Don’t Go
Edited to add…also since you are not yet married, either legally or as per his culture, you probably don’t have any rights (there ) on the child. And also In some communities your relationship could be treated as adultery with the onus of the punishment largely on the woman.
DON’T DO IT!!! Have you ever seen the movie Not Without my Daughter will Sally Fields??? Watch it and then see if you think this is a question you need to consider!! He takes the daughter to his Country, burns the passports and turns her into one of them…she literally has to find an underground railroad to escape…please DO NOT consider this…I’m sorry but especially how the world is ending up…we have got to keep our heads on straight and protect our own!!
If you have to come online and ask your question then you already know the answer…you go to his country you lose all your rights as a woman and mother of your daughter…and you realize people do sell their daughters very young to older men for marriage…just saying…you already know the answer
Your intuition is telling you this is not a good idea yet. Listen to it.
I watched not without my daughter…i would not risk it
If I had doubts I wouldn’t risk it
Trust your gut! Do not risk your children because you don’t want to hurt a man’s feelings! If you want confirmation, tell him you and your daughter are not going because of the pandemic or just tell him the truth…but don’t risk your children when you already know you should not go!
Fuck no. Why would you even consider it???
Red flags all over this one, please listen to your gut. Once she is out of the country and in HIS country all bets are off, no one can help you not even your own. Please don’t do it if your intuition is telling you not to.
I would “lose” her passport right before I was to leave… it’s hard to get one super fast… so you could conveniently leave her with your family/friends or say I can’t leave her without one of us(meaning you or him) and stay home with her ! I would trust my instincts… but that’s just how I would do it if I was feeling that way… especially if I was afraid he would try to keep our child in a different country! Too many country’s make it hard to return back to the United States (they tend to be on the other parents side once they get your child on their country’s soil) with your child… they would say well it’s his child too… some countries have it all set up that a woman has no rights so you need to think about that too… I hope everything works well for you and your little girl!!
Dont do it. You need to end this relationship, leave. Think about your other 2 children, what if something happens to you over there or if he changes and says you cant bring your daughter back or worse not let either of you leave. It’s not just you, you need to think about. You need to seek legal advise before you leave. Please stay safe.
I’ve seem that movie and was going to mention it before I read that you did.
Pls don’t do it if u have worries someone I no when abroad with there partner and child and they didn’t have the worries and she ended up getting kicked out of her mil home and they refused to hand her lil boy over and she had to go to the police over there to get him back to be able to bring him home im not 100% sure of the ins and outs but I no it was a long process and at one point she wasn’t sure if she was gunna be able to even get him back because the laws over there were different,so if u already have these feelings deep down I think u no this trip isn’t a good idea x
Given the way covid is right now alone, you might not even be able to leave or get home again. As for the things that are happening overseas isn’t exactly safe for a child. Just let him know that you are feeling uncomfortable taking you child overseas considering what has been happening and you are more than happy to discuss it when everything settles down. Don’t stop him from leaving but just let him know that you and your children won’t be going at this time.
I will never understand why we women don’t trust our gut.
I don’t even know you or your daughter and I’d suggest staying put, right here in your home country.
If he comes back, yay for both of you. If he doesn’t, yay for both of you.
He’s not traveling to the other side of our country, he’s traveling to a completely different one.
Take the time to read all these comments everyone says the same thing that many people all saying do not do it listen your here where you have a say in his country you get over there not a word it’s quiet nothing to be said listen to your gut don’t be a stupid woman and make wrong mistake please
I hope u get to see every comment on here…he’s already done shady stuff to you, according to you, and you still trust him? He sounds like he has no intentions of doing right by you…please dont go anddo not let him take your daughter
I fully believe in a mother’s intuition. If you’re gut is telling you something is off, then it probably is. And personally, if I couldn’t trust and be comfortable enough with him to sit down and discuss my concerns and how I’m feeling about it then I definitely wouldn’t trust him to take me and my child out of the country. And I especially wouldn’t leave the country with the way things are right now.
Don’t go and Do not let your daughter go. You’re instincts, intuition, God talking to you are all warning you that this is not a good idea especially with everything going on in the world right now. Tell him you need to cancel or Post pone because of it.
If you’re having doubts like this. As mentioned above but there is no way me or my daughter would go. Aint no way in hell.
Do not do it if you have any doubts, trust your gut. Men have more rights over there children in Arabic countries, just watch the documentaries, i seen a documentary about a woman in the UK, her husband took them to his country and the lady couldn’t get her children back because the mum had no rights now they are in there fathers country and she only sees them twice a year.
If you’re concerned enough to post then you answered yourself. If you’re too scared to tell him no, that’s an even bigger issue.
Accidentally destroy or lose her passport as someone already mentioned and then stay home with her.
Travelling in the worlds climate right now is 10/10 not recommended IMO.
There are countries that treat women as second class people with no rights.NONE……women are not allowed to travel by themselves and must be accompanied by a male. If he abandons you and takes your daughter not only will you be lucky to get out alive but your daughter will be gone forever. Do not do this. Trust your gut
Thank would be a big no. Don’t go. There’s too much wrong with this situation. Besides the obvious fear that women have no rights over there there’s Covid, politically things are bad over there, I just wouldn’t risk it. Not a good time.
Do not go!! My father and grandparents escaped from Iran when he was a child. The country was slaughtering anyone they caught who was trying to leave. Do not go to any countries over there right now. Trust your gut. If he’s difficult, let him be, he’s in a different country right now. This is the absolute worst time to go over there right now. Terrorists could be migrated to other countries over there to plan attacks and you never know what he could do to you knowing that it seems he only wants his daughter. He could want to trap you there or worse…
This is coming from someone with family over there. DO NOT GO STAY IN THE US
He won’t let her come back he has rights over there if u go u might get killed not to say it will happen but possibly don’t do it go to court here so khe can’t take her
If in doubt , then no is the answer, definitely would not let my daughter/son go , DO not think you’re being too cautious, do NOT convince yourself that you are over thinking on this. And being NOT married is a blessing on this soil, it gives you 100% custody of the child. Our children are precious , do not turn them over to them , even for a visit. In Arabic you do not matter.
I wouldn’t go and definitely wouldn’t take her. Watch out. Don’t let him take her without you. Hide her passport from him. Say you won’t go because of Covid and government upheaval and hide her passport and all important documents so he can’t take her on his own without you. “Lose” everything he could use to get a passport for her. But stay with the covid and government upheaval as your reason. Be super careful. If there is a way to “unsponsor” do it.
Please listen to your instincts. Not listening to mine almost cost me my daughter. My conscious is eating me Alive.
Once you guys leave and are over there,his family and him can keep your child. Especially if there is no custody.
If your instincts are telling u no that wat u should go with instincts are real & usually correct… Arabic countries is a big h3ll no so I don’t blame u I wouldn’t want to go period
Just use the pandemic as an excuse to delay a little. Say you aren’t comfortable leaving the country while there is so much uncertainty around.
Trust your gut… Sounds like it’s telling you something🥺
Please don’t take that risk, even the slightest doubt is enough to tell you it’s not the right thing to do.
Scarily once your there if he wants to keep her and not you then you won’t get to bring her home
Omg girl now is not the time to be going over there. Please don’t do it
I’d be the odd one here because we’re in interracial marriage too and I’m the foreign but me and my husband fully trust each other. If the kid is born here, us citizen, the kid has to go back. Look into the other country’s citizenship. If the kid doesn’t already have dual citizenship the kid cannot stay in the Middle East. I know you’re nervous about it but I think it will be beneficial to the kid to know where she came from and the other side of the family. Best of luck!
Trust your gut tell him you will go when the time is right and you have threechildren
That movie was the first thing I thought of! Not me no way! I’d be checking some laws first… I’m pretty sure that was based on a true story
Don’t!! No, no! Don’t let her out of your sight, I would have someone watching both you and your family at all times.
DO NOT GO!!
These counties are not like ours, you will not be supported, you will not be safe and you will not have rights !
Don’t do it don’t let him take her go to court say he not allowed to take her
I wouldn’t go, but go with your gut feeling.
Nope. Don’t do it. Don’t take her there with him.
Fuck that… Stay a home & kerp your feet on the ground with your 3 kids xxx
No. You’ll lose your daughter over there. Trust your feelings.
dont go and dont let him take your daughter
Don’t send her please. Omg I feel so scared.
Don’t go, I separated from my ex in Turkey and my kids dad got rights over me. I didn’t have a say and I was tricked many times. Don’t go seriously
Dude don’t go. You don’t trust him here you’ll have no recourse there
She’s Ur responsibility use Ur brain u tube noooo
Don’t do it Arab has a strict rules
Sorry don’t laugh. But the movie Not Without My Daughter popped into my head. Keep you and your daughter away . Please. You’re getting the warning signs already. Listen
Protect your daughters rights
She can go see his country whsn shes 18!!! Until then his family can come here to visit!!! Just tell him u have changed ur mind or like someone said loose the pass port. Loose both of yalls. Say u dnt remember where u put it.
No it is not a good idea. Some countries treat women like slaves and steal their children from them. I would never agree to go with him
Oh yeah that’s a hard no. No for you and no for kiddo.
And its so fishy how he never has commited to getting married
Accidentally lose her passport before the trip and always trust your gut
O man sweetie this is a tuff one! Girl i dnt even know what to say. They say listen to ur gut feeling. I honestly when reading this got a bad feeling for u as well… Maybe if u do go take ur other 2 kids with u also just incase he wont let ur other daughter come back home. Good luck to u
Personal experience here… Listen to your intuition
Don’t do it. If ur gut is telling you, you need to
Listen. Don’t risk ur daughter or urSelf.
Don’t go and don’t let your child go.
You’ll never forgive yourself! Don’t do it!
You better put the security and safety of all your children first and foremost. If you have these doubts .You better listen to your gut feelings. Stay home with your children . You may be sorry if you don’t.
I swear these stories are made up because I just can’t believ women are really this dumb, I’ve lived in Muslim countries, in “progressive” Muslim countries, if you aren’t a man you don’t have a say, you don’t matter and NO the US will not leap over and help you out. I was “arrested “ for getting into a fender bender and the cop told me I stole my husbands car. When I called the embassy to help me they never called me back. It ended up being they wanted paid off which of course we did but HELLO your price will be your daughter
You don’t want him to know your feelings? That doesn’t sound safe hun. I would stay home and keep my babies with me.
So many red flags here! Mama you need to face reality and put your foot down.
The Quaran says its ok to lie and its clear that this man not only doesn’t love you. But he’s lying to you about his intentions and everything. Except he hasn’t told you as he wants to keep you right where you are. Confused and unfortunately some Muslim men whom get together with non Muslim women do this and they know that that woman has absolutely no idea whats really been going on. Until their children have been taken and never to be seen again. And there is nothing NO ONE can do to help you to get those children back.
Open your eyes because your mind is not. No way you should go.
We woman “know”. Trust your instincts. Lose you and your child’s passports or sabotage them (they are replaceable) . Don’t let him take either one of you
I have been conversing with an Afghan. Same plans and things have been talked about…but I believe it really is just butter talk to leave the country. Things are always deeper than they appear
Hide your passport at the last minute and say “I lost it”. There’s your excuse. I have a sick feeling in my gut about this, and so do you.
That would be a hard no. Good luck.
I wouldn’t allow it. Women have little rights.
Sinead Connor what do u call that program plz ? What was it on?
The saying goes follow your gut feeling
Trust ur gut girl . Don’t go if you feel somethings going on .
Please lord trust your gut. Dont go!
Listen to your gut and don’t go!
Ooooooooooof I wish I could PM this mom and get more info so maybe I could help
Don’t let him take her!
Go with ur gut instinct
Men will take their daughters into countries where mothers have no rights and you pretty much have to go over there and kidnap her to get her back you don’t do it… You may never see your daughter again
Now is not the time for international travel, let alone to an Arabic country. Trust your gut.
#1 things aren’t that great between you and him #2 He’s done shady things behind your back #3 Now’s not the time to travel to Arabic countries and COVID #4 Things have changed because he manipulated you into sponsoring him into the U.S. and he now has gotten what he wanted all along. #5 He is taking only his biological daughter and her mother. Why would you go to a shaky country at best and leave your other 2 children to possibly never see you again . Maybe you’ll be lucky enough if he goes by himself that he won’t come back. You will never see your daughter again if he takes her and if you decide to go you too may never make it back to your other 2 children and what will happen to them. You should just never ever go. If his family wants to meet his family they can come the the U.S. for a visit. HUGE ALARM BELLS SHOULD BE GOING OFF IN YOUR HEAD NO MATTER WHAT HE’S TELLING YOU!!!
I have a close friend who married a man from an Arabic country. After they got married here she moved back with him there from the states. She stayed for a while but was treated very poorly. His family didn’t let her leave their house or have a job bc she was a woman. She had to stay there allday until her husband returned… There were certain areas of town she wasn’t even allowed in. Its normal there but abusive to Americans. When she came back she divorced him immediately. I would not go.
Ok I’m not trying to be rude at all. But you need to stop worrying about him being mad or coming back and worry about your children. Not just your daughter but the other two as well. Ain’t no man got good enough game in the bedroom, that I’m traveling to a foreign country and leaving any of my kids for. If he gets mad because you don’t want to go, oh well. Throw the whole man away. In Arabic countries they very rarely have any respect for women, plus you’re American. No it all sounds fishy don’t go.
No way in hell I’d be going. Especially NOW with everything going on over there. If you two had a wonderful, stable marriage and all that it may be different. You said ever since you sponsored him, things have changed… that would concern me that he only wants his green card or whatever it is. Sorry to be blunt but I don’t wanna sugar cost it. But like I said. I would not be going or allow my daughter to go
Do not do this. You have zero rights in the Middle East. He can keep your daughter and there is nothing you can do about it. Watch the Movie “Not Without My Daughter” or read the book. You do not want to do this. He can’t get a passport for her without your consent. Do not consent. Notify the American Embassy and make it clear you do not want your daughter leaving the country. Keeping your children safe and together should be your biggest priority and it’s a mess over there right now.
I pray you do not leave with this man. You and your daughter will be trapped. Your daughter will be forced to live as a second class citizen. You are crazy if you go!
Don’t do it. He doesn’t have to bring her back if he chooses not and there will be nothing you can do about it
Well if u don’t go I’d sure not let my kid go either what if he planned on taking her n not coming bk. I definitely not go.and my kid wouldn’t either let his ass carry on dear
I would NEVER go to a country where women are considered less than nothing. Especially now!! I would tell him you’ve been thinking about it and now is not a good time for travel. You’ll do it at a later date. And if it was me, that date would never come!!