So my boyfriend and I have been together for six years & have two children together… earlier this year we split up and both seen other people. Long story short, I ended up getting pregnant due to failed birth control as well as two plan b’s. That relationship was honestly so toxic. I feel like I was only with him to get my mind off of my break up. He was older than me, never cooked or cleaned, never helped me with anything. Basically wanted me to take care of him. So that ended pretty quick. He says he will be “involved,” but I haven’t heard from him in months. So my boyfriend, who I’ve been with for six years & I ended up getting back together recently (yes he knows I’m pregnant to someone else) And he is willing to step and be a father figure to this child. However, I just don’t want to put that on his shoulders. I’m having a hard time deciding whether or not I want to give this child up for adoption. I found out I was having a girl, and I always wanted a daughter. But I always thought it would be with him and not someone else. I have so many mixed emotions. I feel like I need to live with my mistake and be a mother to my daughter. But another part of me feels that I can’t be good enough for her because it’ll always be in the back of my head that her father and I was a mistake. I’m honestly so torn & I feel so terrible
I’d gladly adopt, she would have a happy loved life
There are so many people that would do anything to take your sweet baby! Please consider if you cannot manage to keep the child, giving him/her to a family who is unable to conceive.
They’ll probably even pay you thousands and thousands of dollars!
If he is willing to step up, why stop a blessing? It takes alot in a man to do that! Plus DNA don’t make u a dad.
Do you pray? Ask God what you should do. I’ll pray for you too. But I hope you keep your daughter. She was given to you for a reason. 
If he wants to step up, let him. But be weary if he ever gets mad at you he could throw it in your face. My ex did that shit to me.
If you truly feel you can’t get past who you created life with, than adoption would be your best choice of action. Remember she’s got half of your DNA too.
I’m sorry you’re in this situation and wish you the best.
Adoption is a selfless and loving act. Do what you think is gonna be best for her!
Blood don’t make a man a father it is the man who loves you and will love the child you carry, trust me I’ve been were you are
Just because her dad was a mistake it doesn’t make her one. Its not fair to her. If your boyfriend now is willing to accept her, I would keep her.
Failed birth control and 2 failed plan b’s… I feel like you were meant to have that little girl… raise YOUR daughter like you’ve raised your boys and let your significant other raise her like he wants to… it takes a lot for a man to step up to plate when it’s not even his own child so he seems like a pretty great man! you may end up regretting letting her go if that’s what you choose to do… I’m a firm believer in everything happens for a reason.
Keep your daughter, I don’t know you but my gut feeling is that you will regret it if you give her up. You’re her mummy, you can work through these hard emotions one day at a time and if this man truly loves you he will love this little girl as much as he loves you. Xx
U already have two boys u show them that u get rid of her they will see that and she will resent u because u kept her brothers u are making a selfish decision if u choose adoption
No need to abort there’s a family out there that would love to adopt someone who can’t have children get the child a chance to live
My cousin just adopted a baby she had older siblings. The baby will be loved it you choose to adopt.
The relationship was a mistake… Not her. She is a blessing and came to you when you needed her most.
Sometimes things happen for a reason, weather we like it or not. So maybe this is the way your suppose to get your daughter. If your man steps up to do another mans job or not, she will have you her mom.
Having a child is always a blessing,never a mistake…if the new man is willing to be dad,make it legal so the other dad cant take part or bark orders…she was sent to you for a reason,pray to God for your answers.Good luck!
I personally would keep the baby. Your man is willing to take care of the baby, you have always wanted a daughter. Weigh out if you would have more guilt from keeping her or more guilt for giving her up because of a mistake.
A child isn’t a mistake, if you really feel you can’t love her and be a good mother, by all means give her a chance at a good life!! But remember she’s half of you!!
You can always look into adoption & open or closed it’s up to you. I feel like if I were in your shoes & I had taken those pills & still ended up pregnant it’s for a reason. She may be your biggest blessing ever you will never know. Keep your mind open to options. Best of luck with your decision. I was adopted by my grandparents so I still know & see my parents even though they were only friends when they got pregnant with me. & I’m forever grateful of that, I have two wonderful little half sisters with my mom & 3 step brothers with my father. I’m glad to have them all in my life. Positive vibes. 
You should keep her its blesseing for sure. . I’m in same boat yet again remember this that baby is yours now not his since hes isnt in picture and your boyfriend want step up too so please think clear mind and think about this really hard.
I would gladly take her if you decide you dont want to… but in all honesty and once again not to sound like a bitch or coming down hard on you … Babies are a blessing and it’s not her fault that things didnt work out between you and her dad … if your SO is welling to take care of her like his own then let him but dont stop the real dad from doing his part either if he is going to be involed
I know multiple families. With the same story. And they are a happy family. DNA won’t be such an issue down the line. It’s only scary right now that’s it’s a fresh happening. Just be honest when your babies get older. We are all human and things happen. Use it as a lesson on choices 
but I’m sure you will all love your baby all the same. Even the men in that situation I have seen love the child all the same. He already said he will do it. I think things will turn out fine.
…keep your kid. You had sex with him…
Every child is a blessing… And it sounds like the man you’ve been with is a good one… And is willing to step up and be a dad to your child because he loves you and your kids… And if the biological father aka sperm donor doesn’t want to be part of that childs life than its his loss…and there is no need to tell the child the man raising her isnt biologically her dad until shes older… My step dad is my dad… From personal experience my real dad wasnt in the picture until I was an adult but the man who raised me was my father… He never treated me any differently than my sister’s and I’m his daughter… And I thank God daily for putting him in my mother’s life and mine…
If you feel the child is a burden and not a blessing, give her up, if you can get past that and love that little girl and let your ex-love her like she’s his then do that, to do otherwise wouldn’t be fair to that precious gift. make sure you get permission from her biological father though, he can fight you for custody, but if he does he will be responsible for child support and being he’s had no interest probably won’t be a problem but you never know, good luck. Sounds like you don’t want to give her up, you may regret it later on, think long and hard for what’s best for everyone.
If you think that your boyfriend will love your unborn baby like it was his, please keep your baby!
It’s 1000% your choice and I wouldn’t think of you as a bad person or judge you for it. I will say if this were my situation and he was willing to step up and be dad I would definitely keep her. She will be a blessing. 
Biology doesn’t make a father.
Beyond that, nobody else can counsel you. You and your boyfriend need to figure out what to do, not a bunch of people on the internet. I’m sorry that’s not helpful, but we don’t know better than you and him how either option will play out for your future.
I know someone currently looking to adopt if that is what you choose. You can PM me.
Your very lucky. I’m 42 and have only 1. I wouldve loved to have another.
A baby is never a “mistake” regardless the father. Keep your daughter. You will regret your decision if you dont.
U can give the baby to a home that needs it.
Go to a church ask if they have a family in need.
U can give the babys rights away to a loving home without a adoption agencies that cost to much
I would keep her especially if he is willing to help raise your daughter. Every parent has self doubts. Life nor kids come with a manual. Keep your daughter. Raise her in a loving and caring home. Do the best you can. That is all we can do as parents.
The fact is babies dont always come from romantic circumstances. But that doesnt set the stage for you as a parent. You can still absolutely be an amazing mother regardless of how this baby came to this world.
My baby’s father stepped out as soon as I told him I was knocked up. I cried every day (and not just because of the hormones) that I was going to have to do everything myself and whatnot.
Now, 10 months after birth I am the mom (in a less then ideal situation because I got kicked out of my house) and there is nothing in this world I love more then my daughter. Even with her useless father.
If you decided adoption is a good idea, start looking now for families. If is never too early and you wanna make sure you have the perfect fit before baby is born.
If you decide to keep your daughter just know that adoption later in her life is also a possibility
Girl let him be a father to that baby! Don’t let the baby’s conception make you feel bad at all.
Why dont u put boyfriends name on birth certificate. Itll be his daughter. She didnt ask for the life that you re giving her. If you choose adoption contact a lawyer not a shady one. Theyll help you. Dont let people you meet online adopt your baby cause you dont no anything about them or what they will do. Good luck
Regardless of who her father is, you are her mother. Dont forget your EX did not step up before so what makes you think this time will be different. Your unborn child should be your 1st priority. The fact that you consider giving her up because of who her father is makes it very disturbing.
If it will make you feel bad because she’s not a connection to your current boyfriend give her up for adoption to a family that will be blessed to have her. You have to do what you think is best. Good luck to you.
If it will cause negativity think about adoption. So many loving people that can’t have children would be forever grateful. The father would always be a part of your future otherwise.
Girl, keep your baby!! She is yours!!! She will change your life, she will teach you to slow down and appreciate life. That baby will give meaning to life again. I can bet it!!!
My kids father was an abusive douchebag, the biggest mistake ever, my kids however were not a mistake. Hands down they are the best part of my life. Not wanting a child because the relationship was bad sounds selfish to me, but if you can’t love YOUR baby the way he or she deserves to be loved then maybe the best option is adoption.
Keep your daughter she is a blessing even if you and her father aren’t together.
She is half sister to your children
Keep her
I have 2 girls. 20 and 16. 20 year old I was pregnant with her and my husband of 5 years left when I was 4 months. I met my 2nd husband when I was 7 months. I had fertility problems with #1 so after we got married (when #1 was 5 months), we started trying right away. We had new hubby tested and he was basically shooting blanks. So, we had to use donor sperm. I don’t even think about biology anymore. 2nd hubby adopted #1 when she was 2. I sometimes just forget they aren’t biologically my husband’s kids. Not forget but won’t think about it for a few weeks, because life. Both my girls love their dad and neither at this point are interested in meeting their bio dad or relatives. Also, if you always wanted a girl, I think it would really haunt you to give her up. But you have to do what is right by you and the baby.
I had my daughter with a mistake of a man and she is my absolute best friend now 19 years later. I wouldnt give up a million mistakes for this one thing that ended up being so right
Blood does not make you family let him be a great father to your baby
still your daughter-I could never hold it against a child that I wasn’t with the other parent. I could never have that mess rolling around in the back of my head. HE might find it hard, because it isn’t HIS daughter, but as a mother? Nope. Ask him what he is capable of dealing with—if it isn’t going to be an issue for him, and you, then there’s your answer.
I say keep your daughter to
As you watch your kids grow you will wonder about your daughter. I could never give a child up for those reasons
It’s a tough one. I know of one situation where the boyfriend “stepped up” only to decide later that he couldn’t deal and took it out on the baby. Every situation is different and there is no wrong or right answer if at the end the baby is loved the way she deserves.
This is your child! Your going to fall in love with her! And if he loves you he will love every part of you to include her.
Your boyfriend’s opinion shouldn’t make a difference… This is YOUR child HELLO if you have the ability to take care of her you SHOULD. Regardless of WHO you thought woulda shoulda fathered your child doesn’t matter now.
Also hun your not putting anything on your man’s shoulders he knew you were prego when he got back with you and he’s choosing to step up and help raise that baby as his own and if he really wants that let him. But don’t feel like you making him do it because your not it’s a choice and he obviously is an amazing man to choose to help you raise your daughter
My little boys father was a mistake too. But that doesnt change that hes my son and what happened, happened. I say keep your daughter. If he is willing to step up and be a father to her then thats awesome!!!
Whether u have a man or not in your life, that is still your daughter. U may not ever have another. Her dad may have been a mistake, but she’s not. I would keep her if that was me
I can guarantee that as soon as you see your little girl she’ll be all you’ve ever dreamed of and more, when your child is born you know with 2 other kids it’s a love like no other. You can just tell you already feel terrible I think you’ve already made your mind up deep down good luck with your choice. Your giving this baby life and with you or with someone else who desperately want children shell be loved massively dont make the wrong choice xxx
If you give up that baby solely bc you want a different blood parent for it then you’ll regret it. It doesn’t matter who you have a child with…that person might only be there for a few years of that kids life. If you want to keep her then keep her. But if you decide to give her up that’s ok too but don’t let someone else be the factor in that.
I gave up my baby at 17, was forced to. It broke me.
It’s okay to think you and the father were a mistake, people make mistakes, but your daughter isn’t a mistake. Life knew what you needed before you did. But this is a decision only YOU can make, nobody else should have a say or give their opinion on anything. You got this
I truly admire you for looking into adoption. So many families would love to have a baby and can’t. However, I think once the baby gets here, things will fall into place and you’ll feel differently. She is still part of YOU! She is still YOUR baby. If the person you’re with knows the situation and is willing to take her on as his own, let him. That baby girl with steal both your hearts when she gets here. Good luck to you!
Many people would kill to be in your position, such as those who can’t have kids. That’s your baby… 100% your blood, and if your bf is happy to bring your daughter up good for him, have that happy ending together with the perfect little family x
If you can’t stomach the thought of one day explaining to your children why your daughter wasn’t worth keeping but they were, there’s your answer. Because one day they will ask and one day she might look for you and ask you that same question. And how do you think it’s going to sound when you tell her/them you gave her up because you and her dad were a mistake and you didn’t want to live with that? She’s a part of your story whether you like it or not. The decision is yours but if you honestly can’t handle those hard conversations and the possibility of your children not being able to forgive you for it, I’d think about that.
Your little girl is not a mistake because her sperm donor was. Really think long and hard about this decision and if you still feel like she’s not worth loving. Please give her to a family that would love her unconditionally and please keep her healthy until birth. Just because u don’t want her doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve to be healthy. I rather you give her to a family that would cherish her little soul then you end up hurting or even killing her because she reminds you of your mistake… to many babies and kids getting killed because of this. Sorry to sound harsh but it’s a reality
Im in the same position as you are… And im actually having twins identical little girls and i wouldnt give them up for nothing in this world!! My man is stepping up and taking on these kids as if they were his own hes picked the names hes giving them his last name and he loves them as much as he loves our other kids together… Babies r never a mistake even if u feel like u and the “father” were a mistake… I hope this is just your hormones talking because this is going to be very hurtful when ur child grows up and finds out this is the reason u gave her up… I hope all works out for you but me myself i love my twins already and cant wait to kiss there lil faces
Not a mistake sweetie, know that 1st. God blesses us with kids. Please keep your daughter. You will have regrets. Whether you stay in a relationship or not, your children are all blessings. GOD will not give you what you cannot handle. Stay strong and keep pusing through. Don’t doubt, just have faith it will all work out. Many prayers for you all.
Blood doesn’t make a parent. I was adopted by my dad after sperm donor gave us up. If you cant move past the father then adoption is a great choice
You wild as shit girl, you do not need to be anywhere near anything the even remotely resembles a dick with a mindset like that! But nah don’t give up the baby. If your man says he’s gonna step up, let him and if he doesn’t, well that baby is 100% your priority now, time to say bye to him and do it yourself. If you give that baby up, who knows what’ll happen to her
This is your child regardless of who the father is.
Consider this: you and the boyfriend may break up again…for good? Could you live with the fact that you gave up your daughter?
The toxic relationship may have been a mistake, she is not.
Keep your baby. That’s your daughter, no matter who her daddy is.
Keep her it is not. Her fault
Keep her. You are her mother no matter who the dad is. If the boyfriend of 6 years is willing to step up, then he is a real father.
No baby is a mistake, let’s just get that out of the way. Everything happens for a REASON. You wanted a daughter, YOU GOT ONE! Be grateful for your blessing.
You are not a horrible person for doing either . And just because some people feel like they would regret it or just couldn’t do it . Blah blah . Doesnt mean it’s the same for you. Either way the child would be taken care of and loved. But it’s playing a dangerous game with yourself . If you keep that baby and have ppd and see the baby and feel regret for the baby and yourself . The baby deserves better . There’s always open .Or dont have the bio dad on the birth certificate . And have your husband sign it . He will legally be that babies father .That would be best if you’re gonna keep it and your ex is an idiot
I know people who have regretted giving their child up , but u have never met anyone who regretted keeping their baby 
Only you know what you can handle… you do whatever you feel would be best for everyone. Stay strong. Your feelings and what you choose only you can fully understand so please dont let anyone make your feelings and opinions not matter cause they do. No one knows your situation and what’s best for you and your family more than you. Take your time and take it day by day
Ok so I may get negative comments but idgaf. Yes a baby can be a mistake if you took measures to prevent and it happened when you didn’t want. The question to ask is if you are financially stable enough for 3 kids. If you don’t think you would be able to give the baby the life it deserves then adopt. You can do an open adoption so you can still see her. I know there are a lot of women who can’t have kids that would love to have a child. If you have the baby then decide you want to keep her you can.
The man you were with might’ve been a mistake, but your daughter isn’t. Do what you feel is best for her. Your partner is a great dad.
I’d keep her…as soon as you lay eyes on her you’ll love her be brave , that little girl will be yours for the rest of your life regardless of who else stays in it xx
Why cant you disassociate your daughter and ex? But then agajn if you cant, dont put her through that. If you feel resentful to her because of who her dad is,by all means give her to a family who will love her unconditionally.
Honey, you will not feel this way once you see your daughter.
Now, if you were saying you felt this way, because you didn’t think you could take care of you (emotionally, financially, physically) then I would totally say adoption might be the best option, but your bf is willingly a part of this. He agreed and is supporting you…and if he doesn’t, oh well. You will still have your children. You can do this!
Your child isnt a fucking mistake
What about an open adoption, where you have contact with the child?
Hugs to you and your boyfriend. I cannot imagine what you both are thinking and feeling. This is a decision no one else can make. But you have got this. No matter what you are a good Mom and you will do what is best for your daughter
Seems to me he was telling the mother she can make a lot of money on this baby. I do know adoption cost lots of money .
Your choice in men is the mistake not your child. Smfh.
It’s ultimately your decision. Either choice you decide I’m sure will be for the best. Myself and a lot of other women in this world have struggled with fertility would love a blessing of a child to love. Either way I’m sure the baby will have a fulfilling life.
Your boyfriend is old enough to take a decision, lucky you, he is ok with this.
Forget everyone else and think about you, only you and your futur little girl, are you happy with this? Yes? Keep it and enjoy your family.
Let him be the daddy it takes a real man to step up and stop nring it up yall are have a baby girl i would never tell her different!!!
If u sit and dewell on it …its going to make ur boyfriend is going to think u dont wont him to father her
Hey I have friends that would adopt your baby and she would never want for nothing.
To me the point of adoption is that u cannot care for your child. This child has a man to step up and be a father. U are capable. I dont see a rational reason to give up your little girl. Sorry if this is harsh but just my opinion.
Keep her. She is your little girl. He is a sperm donor. Toxic relationship isn’t good for you or your children.
A father is not necessarily the man you made the child with. The father is the one who loves and cares for and raises that child.
It sounds to me like your boyfriend is already the father.
Fathers aren’t always blood related. You may live with guilt the rest of your life if you give her up and you need to be prepared for that.
Take care of your child. She is not a mistake.
Keep your baby, its not her fault. She did nothing wrong. You husband will love her if he loves you. You’ll always wonder where your baby is and if shes okay.
So if it was your boyfriend’s child you would keep her? So basically you’re giving away your own child because you slept with someone else and got pregnant. Sorry for being so rude but that’s honestly screwed up
I had a ten year marriage that was a mistake. I have two wonderful kids from that marriage that definitely were not. Ultimately you are the only one who can make the decision. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Kids come into families in all kinds of ways.