Biology doesn’t make a father ,if the father of your children is willing to be a father to your daughter,let him be .
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If your worried about what your daughter thinks think of it this way: “my mom got pregnant with a man she doesn’t like and the result is me.” Or… dead. She is dead. What would you rather be? Alive or dead? Alive and knowing you are the result of an accident but nevertheless alive or dead.
Wow. Your daughter deserves better. Find a family who will never make her feel like a mistake.
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I would keep the baby. Your ex is willing to step up and be there for her and you. Also, I have had children from toxic relationships as well and all you can be is a great mother to your children!! Yes I hate their fathers but I would never want life any other way!
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Your baby has nothing to do with her father’s mistakes. She only shares DNA with him. She is a gift and a new life that will need love and have a caring mother to do so. If you truly feel you can not do that, give her to someone who will. If you want to keep her, maybe have your current bf sign the birth certificate or get her father to sign over his rights so he has no legal responsibility and can stay uninvolved ( it sounds like that’s what he wants anyway.)
Good luck and remember she is a new life and will only know she’s hungry and likes to be warm, hugged and loved.
Good luck.
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I think u should keep the girl and let the boyfriend step up and be in her life. U already have kids with him and know how he is with them. She is not a mistake. Everything happens for reason. It will all work itself out. I dont know if u r religious but I will say a prayer for u to make the decision that is best for everyone involved 
Keep her , babies are never a mistake , not always planned but there is a reason your pregnant. With a dad or not you are her mother
Your toxic relationship isn’t what your daughter is. She’s a person, who may have come from a not so pleasant situation, but she is beautiful and if you can care for her and provide a beautiful life for her, I would say keep her.
Just have your boyfriend raise the baby girl as his. Try to put your negative thoughts aside. If your boyfriend wants to step up then don’t bother with her real father. If he wants to be there he will but you don’t need him if your bf wants to be dad. Have him sign the birth certificate even … 
just my advice idk the whole situation but it’s what I’d do. My first daughter has a bio father who has never met her. We added my husband to her birth certificate he’s her legal father.
I am trying to process the post to give the best advice
I guess truly think about if you wake to keep YOUR child. Not a child with someone you regret being with because she is your daughter too not just a reflection of him
If your boyfriend is willing to raise this child as his own and you can financially do so I would say your blessed as that’s a good man right there
But If you choose to keep your child I would change my outlook from living with my mistake because a child should never be seen as a mistake.
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Keep the baby! In my opinion you’ll regret giving her up the rest of your life! Regardless of who her dad is, trust me!
I wish I had the answers for you, but I don’t. All you can do is soul search and look deep within yourself for an answer.
I would adopt the baby if you thought that was the best thing for you.
DNA does not make someone a father
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Give it time! She is your daughter and if your boyfriend is willing to step up Id say keep her! You will know when she is placed in your arms… and I think you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself… she will love you and be loved by her family whether she is biological his or not… maybe they relationship was a mistake but you got pregnant and that’s okay… it was meant to be.
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Don’t give her up keep her she is your daughter and you will love her as you do your other children and your husband is already a father to your daughter
I know how you feel. I had two girls already and the second’s father became physically abusive. When I left him I found out I was pregnant again. I knew going back wasn’t an option. I did not want my girls thinking it’s ok for a man to treat a woman that way. I hid my pregnancy till I was 8months pg. I didn’t know if I could raise three kids by myself. I had some friends (a married couple) that I opened up to. We decided if I couldn’t handle it, they would adopt. When she was born, I knew there was no way I could give her up. We didn’t have any papers or any thing like that, just a verbal agreement. My girls are now grown and I have grandbabies and I’m so glad I made the choice to keep her. It’s your baby, and your choice. Don’t let anyone pressure you into making a choice that you may regret. Only you can decide. I’ll be praying for you
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I’ve been struggling with fertility for years
Absolutely shatters my heart to hear reasons like this on y you want to get rid of her hell I would love to be able to adopt her
No bashing for a question like that? 
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Ask him if he will sign over all rights and have your bf adopt her.
Although an unfortunate situation, no baby is a mistake. My opinion is, keep that precious baby girl and raise her together. Him not being the biological dad doesn’t mean anything, and how you’re feeling now isn’t how you’re always going to feel. It’s just overwhelming at the moment. Sounds like she’s going to have 2 very loving parents and that’s all that matters
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once you lay eyes and hands on your daughter… if you still feel the same way… please let someone adopt her… babies are never a mistake… you have to get your head on right… seems like your bf is ready to move forward with yalls family… if you arent then by all means do what is right for you and that sweet baby… prayers for you
This is the time where you have to look deep in your heart and decide what is best for her. And that may not be what you want for you. If your boyfriend is truly going to love that child as his own, so that she never feels like she is missing something or that she was somehow not enough to be loved by both parents, then there is no reason to sacrifice your heart to spare hers. I would only give her up if you couldn’t provide that for her.
Her father may be a mistake but shes not …
Think of it that way
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Also I know a couple that would be over joyed to adopt if u decide to go that way.
My baby born after failed birth control and two plan B’s is the greatest joy of my life! I was not with his father when I found out I was pregnant and things have been tumultuous at times, but, my son is my angel, my whole world!! I feel you’d be giving up that immeasurable joy by giving up your daughter. Just my opinion though. A dad doesn’t have to be biological to love a child! If your boyfriend says he’ll raise the baby, I’d let him. Share your daughter together and enjoy and just love her! You have children so you know there is no greater gift, your unplanned daughter is no different.
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First off, I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Let your boyfriend be a father to her. And if you daughters true father doesn’t want to be around, that’s on him. Your daughter will growing up knowing who loves her and who doesn’t. Just give her everything you have. I was with my ex husband for 5 years. We separated and I started seeing my current boyfriend. I got pregnant two months later. I never thought I’d see my life going this way but you gotta roll with the punches. If you truly want to be a mother, embrace this. It will be the best thing to ever happen to you, I promise.
Honey you was blessed with her my daughter father and I didn’t work out I got a new bf and he helps out it’s okay to keep her hun it’s just a sign as I say
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Have a serious discussion with your now bf. Explain how you feel and get honest answers you might feel better with what you hear cause you were pregnant and he still got back with you .guys are simple if he didn’t want to he wouldn’t have got back with you. A similar situation happened to my sister inlaw and her then bf now husband are extremely happy and have another child together. So dont give up hope or that baby.
If you were to put her up for adoption you would give the ultimate gift to a family. Thank you for considering adoption.
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I went through this recently. I’m with a guy that’s not my babies dad. We got together while I was 5-6 months pregnant. It’s just 10x easier if you have a great support system. Wishing you the best
Keep her. All will work out in the end. You will have no regrets.
In all honesty she would be better off with a family that would love and care for her than with a mother who thinks of her as a mistake and is contemplating giving her up. Honestly this is what we mean when we say “mature enough to have a child” birth control is 99% effective if taken properly so that means that there is a 1% chance that when you had sex that you would become pregnant. That is a risk you take every single time you have sex. Be an adult.
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Keep her, a child is always a blessing, never a mistake. Yes, U both made bad decisions, but that’s life. Let the past go & show her what a beautiful future she can have with U as her mother. She is a piece of U, and God gave U her for a reason. Prayers for U and Ur family to get past this. U are blessed that Ur bf is willing to take her on as his own. 
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well then why did you have sex with someone else obviously you didn’t take precautions…I really don’t believe you want this baby ?you have two what is one more .being selfish gets u nowhere especially with a man that will will accept the child of his own
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How about getting fixed?? Since your not making good decisions for your Children!!!
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Babies are such a bigger picture then you, your partner, or your ex. I have someone in my life who is in this very predicament. All I can say is probably like you, she can always fall back on family, if you can’t be the backbone for baby right now let your family, until you know the time is right, listen to your heart and not your mind. That baby is apart of you, don’t give up when it’s only just begun.
I think that you would end up loving her just the same as your other children once you get settled back into you relationship with the father of your other children. Having a great support system helps a lot. Also once you see that he is serious about stepping up, and your child will not become her father it is all how you raise them … And I know you have heard this from a lot of people on here but keep my name if you change your mind once she is born or before please let me know. I have 3 boys and would love to have more.
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So basically…the only reason you’re debating adoption is because your partner isn’t the father? Because it’s not the fairy tale story of how you wanted to conceive a daughter? You’re willing to deny your daughter her biological mother, her siblings and a man who WANTS to be her father just because it’s not “ideal”. I’m lost for words. I am not saying I do not support adoption…adoption is a godsend in certain situations and has saved lives but to consider something so permanent just because it’s not “ideal”…you need to sort your priorities out. 
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If first guy willing to step up knowing hes not biological dad and you still love each other have baby and raise her together
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As soon as you hold her none of what you have just said will matter… the love that u will have for her will out weigh any shit you got going on…
Go give your head a wobble things happen for a reason … go enjoy what you have… good luck with what ever you chose to do… just hope u dont throw away your daughter x
If you keep her you need to get the bio.dad to give up all rights.then don’t make the mistake of bringing him up down the road. Let the boyfriend raise her but you can’t have it both ways it’s hard enough that it’s some others man’s baby. I have seen this happen in real life and after a while it broke them up because she just couldn’t get over the guy not helping with the daughter.
I would adopt. I take care of my husbands exs daughter (my step daughter) and her mother isnt involved and its honestly a huge weight on my shoulders knowing her mother doesnt even care enough to be around.
Dont get me wrong i love her but shes not mine and i sometimes wish her mother wouldve considered adopting her out
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I say you’ll really know what to do when you have her. I know some women who apt for adoption because of rape or a domestic violence situation, but when they delivered and held their baby, they backed out. Give yourself that chance to hold your baby and see how you feel.
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A child is never a mistake and always a blessing keep her and raise her
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So because it isn’t his, you don’t want it? You’re trash.
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Dont look at this like a mistake, never say that again! It happened for a reason…who cares HOW it happened…that’s your girl, I have 3 daughters and 2 sons, who knows if the guy your with again will last, if you’re gonna be together then he should want to help you and not treat her differently.
Just because he was a mistake she was NOT don’t give the baby up keep her raise her and let the bf take care of her it’s obvious this is what was supposed to happen that baby fought to be here raise her
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I think you should keep her. The first time you look into her eyes, you will fall in love with her. I will be praying for you and your family. God loves all of you.
My daughter’s father was a mistake he’s never met her denied she was his and blocked me on everything but I absolutely adore my daughter she’s my little best friend and I wouldn’t be who I am today without her. There is days I look at her and feel super guilty over who I chose to have a baby with but she’s just so precious. Don’t be so hard on yourself you’re probably just a little overwhelmed at the moment everything will fall into place for you xx
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So take it out on the baby?.. Come on now.
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Keep her. You’ll regret it if you don’t. It’ll affect you in ways you can’t even contemplate. Good luck. You’re stronger than you realise and can do this. 
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I would adopt the baby in a heartbeat
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What ever you decide will be the right one. But just know there are people like myself that will adopt your daughter in a heart beat. Some of us cannot have any or anymore children. If you do decide to put her up for adoption please reach out to me or anyone else. Good luck in this very difficult decision. When the time comes YOU will know which way to go.
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Do your daughter a favor and place her for adoption. She deserves the best life she can get and have parents that won’t be thinking of her ratty ‘father’ every time she does something wrong. Do the right thing, please.
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Do what feels right. There are so many people out there that are looking for babies, and would love that little girl. But sometimes things happen for a reason. I do agree of you keep that baby get bio dad to sign over rights and have the bf adopt
This baby was meant to be here for a reason.
No the guy you wanted to be her biological father isn’t but he wants to be…
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So you don’t want the baby because it’s not your boyfriend? Sound pretty selfish! Mistake or not grow up and take care of your children smh sounds like your only one having the problem. Idk I could never give up a child for a reason like that
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Proud of you for not aborting her.
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Keep her! You have her for a reason,seeing as how the birth control or plan B failed. A child is never a mistake. God gave her to you for a purpose. I understand how you feel that the pregnancy wasn’t planned and you didn’t have her with your boyfriend but I don’t feel that is a reason to gibe her up and I’d be afraid that you would come to regret that decision. As you said you always wanted a daughter…But if adoption is the right decision for yourself and your family then that would be a wonderful gift for a family. Just don’t rush the decision. It will all work out.
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Its not his. So what. He wants to step up and be her father. Youve always wanted a daughter. Dont give up on her because shes not his. Keep your daughtsr and raise her with your boyfriend.
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If you want the baby, keep the baby. It sounds like he doesn’t care that it isn’t his biologically, but if he wants to step up he will still be her dad. Sperm doesn’t make a father.
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So many people in this world would love to raise a baby that cant have one of their own! No questions asked… I know of at least 2 that would take a baby right now! I would too… Please give that unborn child life… Children are our future… You never know that baby in your belly could find the cure for cancer… Or be a grammy winner! They just need a chance! If your interested in adoption please reach out!!!
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Ok if he’s willing to step up and be her dad let him it’s not baby’s fault at all if sperm donor don’t want to help leave him out the pictures I say let your bf raise the baby with as much love as y’all can give
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You’ve already split up with him. Who knows if you’s will split up again. Choosing a man over your own child seems very unfair. Considering you made that child. But if that is your outlook she’s probably better off being giving to someone who will love her and mind her to there best ability.
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Who’s to say a couple years down the road you and current back and fourth boyfriend dont split up again and then what? The baby who could have been with mom and brothers is off who knows where. Sounds like you dont want the baby bc its inconvenient to the current relationship. Makes no sense.
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Keep her. Don’t give her away
Look. No one can give you the answer. If you don’t love that baby girl 100% then you shouldn’t have her. A baby deserves to be loved. No one… absolutely no one knows how you truly feel. You need to really think about it for her and you. You’ve had two previous kids. Think back to when you had them. Could you have given them up? Why would who the father is matter. She’s a completely different person and YOUR child. Think about it. Don’t worry about what others think.
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So sad reading this 
your little innocent baby girl deserves a mum who will love her unconditionally not refer to her as a mistake 
. If you can’t do the above then she needs to be away from you…
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I would speak with a professional psychologist. It would be so good for you. I truly believe it will all work out. Don’t beat yourself up for getting pregnant . Life’s too short for worry and regret hun, just do what your heart tells you to. It will all be ok.
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No body can decide for you. This is something that you and your partner should decide.
You are not a bad person if you decide to give up the baby, you won’t be a better if you decide to keep the baby.
There are millions of women who are struggling to have a baby and turn to the adoption option.
I was in that boat. I tried for almost 6 years to have a baby, already thinking about the possibility to adopt. So yes, if you think that you won’t be able to give her all the love, care and time to raise her the way she deserve it, then look for an agency to start the process. There are thousands of people waiting for a new born. But if you think that you want to keep it bc you’ve always wanted a girl then do it.
You’d be a questionable person if you would have decided to terminate your pregnancy. But you haven’t. The circumstances were a mistake, not the baby.
She among everything is the innocent. And she doesn’t deserve to grow up with that weight on her shoulders.
Talk to your partner, and come to a decision.
Maybe look into getting your tubes tied after giving birth. That’s the only 100% safe birth control.
Good luck with all this!
you will love her either way. It happened and you cant change it. But look at the blessing you got from it.
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You two are NOT married. He stepped up which means he loves you dearly. Get married and create a stable home for those children. You’re choosing a man over a child and it will backfire because it’s selfish. Imagine growing up and finding your real mother and she tells you…you were not my husband or boyfriends baby so I gave you up. That’s some selfish mess right there. No shade at all
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Live with your mistake is a pretty telling sign of what you already want to do.
Those words are heart breaking and could eventually impact your relationship with the girl
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The main thing that stood out for me was the word "mistake "…if there is even a thought in your head that you will ever think of her as a mistake (I understand you were talking about the situation being a mistake but she is a product of that situation), then I would definitely give serious thought to letting her be adopted by someone who will cherish her for the little miracle that she is.
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Fuck everyone else opinion and worry about what you think is best. Personally could never give up a baby of mine
God makes no mistakes 
take what you will from this and just know that he knows all and he wouldn’t have given you this baby if it wasn’t meant to be 
You are way stronger than you think. You already have 2 together, it’s not like giving this one away will keep you from having him in your life still. You be the best damn mama that you ARE already. Good mamas always second guess and have doubts about different things. My 3rd was an Oops too and although my husband and I don’t have the relationship probs we have $$$ issues with it. We have made it work but oh boy the emotions… resenting that you’re preg when you don’t want to be, feeling guilty about that resentment, trying to get your other kiddos heads wrapped around sharing their parents even more… it’s been tough but once you see their lil squishy face you’ll wanna keep her. No judgement either way tho. I’m not in your shoes. Message me any time if you’re feeling low or conflicted.
I’m utterly disgusted. That’s your baby, YOURS. And you’re sitting here questioning keeping YOUR OWN baby over shitty men. YOUR BABY. Oh my god. I CANT😩 poor babygirl.
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Life can be tough, mistakes are learned from,I say do what ever feels right to you. Not what someone else to do.
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That little girl inside you is not a mistake I promise you that. She has a purpose & a story to tell someday…& the fact your man of 6yrs is willing to raise her & love her like his own is what so many women don’t get & instead are rejected…even if you guys split up you will still have your daughter… I don’t believe you don’t love her or care, you obviously want the best for her…ultimately it is your choice but could you live with knowing half of your soul/self is walking around on this earth wondering why her mother gave her away? & what if she knew it was because you left your spouse & got pregnant then got back together…what if you guys split again? Whether she would have a better life or not with another family, you are her birth mother & she will always yearn for you & wonder…
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You say you always wanted a girl well here you go when I was pregnant with my 1st born I wanted a girl I even went out and bought things for a girl my child was 2 weeks over due when my child was delivered by c-section they literally stopped breathing twice I was devastated but he survived and I later was glad I had a boy first then I had my girl and her dad and I never stayed together and my husband of 28 years has raised my 2 older kids as his own you will regret it if you let her go she is gift from God even if you and the dad aren’t together no more god has reason for everything even if some don’t make sense the bottom line KEEP HER
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I am truly sorry to read that you are in this position.
I honestly would pray long and hard on this one.
Prayers sent your way…
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Keep communication open between you and your boyfriend. Discuss how you both feel about the situation regularly and actively listen to each other. Ask how to support each other with this and make the effort to do so. If he wants to be a part of your daughter’s life, fantastic. If not, take some time by yourself or with a professional to decide everything: if the relationship is worth it, if you can raise your child if the relationship doesn’t work out, etc. If your love for this child will be able to drown out the fact that she may not have come about by the most ideal means, then of course keep her. If you really think that just because her DNA is a little different and you can’t fully provide for her because of it, place her up for adoption so that she can still have a chance at receiving unconditional love.
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Whether you give her to parents who would love to have her, or keep her - even if your boyfriend is not around - it will work out
Do what you feel is right, no decision is bad
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Baby is not a mistake. Have the baby and marry your boyfriend. Good luck
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You’re blessed and I would kill to be with child, regardless of who’s it was, tbh. But that’s me. 
Keep her and your boyfriend is awesome !!! Him stepping up even though its not his biologically doesnt mean he is not the father
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He’s willing. So let him. You have 2 other kids together. Remember- that baby is HALF you. Just like your other two kids!
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This is something only you can decide but if your feeling this way maybe talking to a professional would help, a therapist can help you work through the way you are feeling
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God gives you the babies you need. That’s what my Mama told me. In the end it’s your decision, but maybe in order to have your beautiful little girl, this had to happen. My thoughts are with you in whatever you decide to do.
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Maybe the boyfriend was a mistake but your little girl is never a mistake. I went through a similar situation and my youngest son was the best thing that happened to me. He now has a dad, not biological but a real dad. Adopted even!
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Many blessings come from mistakes…
Most really great inventions came from mistakes…
Hell my doctor told me after my ectopic pregnancy she had to cauterize my tubes and that i would never be able to have children…
I’m grateful for her mistake …
Now i have 2 children …
Maybe you would have never had a little girl with your children’s father …
Maybe he (yall) would only have boys together …
and this is/was your only chance to have a girl…
So was breaking up a mistake…or a reason?.. because Yall broke up for a reason, got with other people for a reason, and got back together for a reason …maybe that was the “reason”
Just because it was a mistake between you and that man , doesn’t mean your baby girl is a mistake.
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Sorry but in my opinion your baby is your baby , a blessing, not something to just give away when things arent working out the way you want them… that’s not me bashing or anything else but if that was me there is no way I would give up that little blessing shes part of you … always
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This is not something that Facebook can help you with. Especially not judgmental people looking down in you for wanting to give your child the best life, even if it isn’t with you. Kudos to you for facing your feelings and considering alternatives.
That being said, I highly recommend that both you and your boyfriend go to counseling. There are counselors who specializes in this. I ha e a friend who put her child up for adoption I can get the information of the place she used if you would like. Reach out to me in private message. They give you counselling and let you decide if this is the best option for you. IF you decide adoption is the best course, they will also provide counselling after the fact to help you through. You can also choose closed adoption (neither you or the child will have information about the other) or open adoption (you have information on the child as she grows, and she can get your information. Some families will even stay in contact and work with you to see the child while the child is growing up.)
Don’t let anyone pressure you one way or the other. Do what is best for your child and your family.
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Your child is worth more than the worry of burdening your boyfriend, he will live, but no one can make this decision for you.
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The bio father may be a mistake but your daughter is not. Make this decision with only your daughter in mind, no one else.
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Sending prayers for God’s guidance to you and baby in this time. If you keep her I pray you love her like she deserves and if you put her up for adoption I pray that she is with a family that will love her like their own!
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A past relationship can be a mistake but a child is never a mistake. You were strong enough to know your worth and walk away from that “man”. Your daughter would grow up knowing that story and would be just as strong.
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