You will love this baby the moment you hold her in your arms. There is your answer
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Once you see your baby girl you will know exactly what you want to do. No baby is a mistake!!
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You will know what to do in time. Don’t be so rough on yourself. You will know when it’s time to know. I am always on line if you need someone to talk to.
You made a mistake but no one is perfect! All you can do is love her and move on with your family and your longtime boyfriend sounds like an amazing man to step in! Follow your heart, learn from your mistakes but choose love and happiness each time! Pray and the right answers will come! You got this! 
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Children are a gift from God
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Honestly its up to you…your choice…I’d love to have your daughter if you want to give her up…I’d raise her and love her and she’d be happy…but if you decide to keep her and your boyfriend is willing to adopt her and raise her as his own thats amazing because not many guys would do that…you always wanted a daughter well God blessed you with your baby girl…your choice but if you give her up the father has rights to her just FYI
Babies are never mistakes, she’s here for a reason. You said you always wanted a daughter and your significant other is willing to step up you are definitely blessed! We all make mistakes that lingers in our minds, maybe try forgiving yourself 
you seem to have a wonderful future ahead for you. Even though she’s not his, you can always put him on the birth certificate and he will be dad. Not a lot of guys step up like that… he’s a man. Just pray and take it day by day and your answer will come when the time is right, thoughts and prayers! 
you’ll be alright
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My kids Biological Father is an Alchoholic Abusive jerk, I really wanted our relationship to work because when he wasn’t drinking,he was so right for me,but his drinking got worse, we were on and off again for 3 years,during which we had two babies together,but mostly I was a single mom,waiting for him to change,well of course he never did then and from what I here,he never will, because he hasn’t yet, but my kids we had together was no mistake, And they are my biggest Blessings ,well God blessed me again 12 years ago by putting the right man in my path,we got married and my kids were 2 and 4 and My daughter was the flower girl,and my son the ring barrer,was a very beautiful wedding, we became a family, and some years later,he adopted them as his own,because well,he is their Dad, the only one they have ever really known. God works wonders in our lives , if your boyfriend wants to step up and be that baby girl of yours daddy, then that’s an awesome guy you got there,
In my opinion, it’s not like when you go buy a shirt that you didnt like the way it fits so you just take it back 
This is your child, and you should raise it. I’ll be praying for her 
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Do what’s best for your daughter. If that means finding a family that can care for her, then there’s no shame in that. Make sure you’re making the choice in her best interest. Honestly I’d rather see mothers that don’t have the means or way to care for a child find parents that can give what a child needs than allowing them to suffer if they can’t. I have been in the system and I’ve had family that has put babies up, and some that have adopted.
You cant get advice for this decision from other people sweety. This is a personal, intimate decision that only you can make. We will support you regardless what you choose.
If youd like some info on financial and housing assistance for new mothers, i can helo get you that…
If you need assistance finding an appropriately accredited clinic to terminate, then i can helo you find that too…
Ive been thru what youre considering. Message me if you need a friend.
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Your daughter is a blessing. I pray for you hun.
Sounds to me like the good man upstairs is trying to bless you, especially seeings that you used two plan Bs and birth control in my opinion
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Look everyone here is saying ‘oh keep the baby it’s a blessing.’ (And not saying you shouldn’t necessarily). But I’m going to be honest. I think if a person doesn’t think they’ll be a good parent to a child they probably shouldn’t have said child. I wish more people were honest about not wanting/not being fit to be parents. We would probably have a lot less abused children in the world if there wasn’t this constant societal pressure to be parents. That being said there are plenty of people that want children and can’t have them and babies are what a lot of people want. Maybe try to find a nice couple to adopt before your baby is born.
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Sound to me it was meant to be. Don’t give that baby up. It would be your last chance to have one.
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So, what you’re saying is,
'I haven’t forgiven myself and I’m afraid I’ll hate this child bc it’ll remind me of my mistake (the guy, not the peanut) so, I’ll use my bf as my excuse to walk away"
If you had a daughter, what would you tell her?
Say you give this child up, what will you tell her when she looks for you? How do you think her hearing, “I gave you up for my bf” is going to go?
At the end of the day, we can’t tell you what to do.
But if you have a man that’s already said he’s willing to be her dad, pls be honest with yourself. Don’t put this on him.
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I’m praying for you honey. If you keep the baby remember she is half you too. But if you can’t keep her do right by her & give her a chance at a healthy - happy life. Make sure she gets a good loving family. You gotta do whats best for the baby & if you can’t do 100 % right by her give her to a loving family that will try to give her the world. Good luck. I’m here if you need to talk to someone.
God bless you.
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If you can’t give her the life she deserves then start looking into adoption, nothing wrong with that. 
I have been tagged because of abunch of uneducated woman are are attacking someone. I am not reading anything I will say this, I HAVE BEEN THROUGH TWO OF THREE SIDES OF ADOPTION. I was adopted, and gave my second child up. The father shot me while I was pregnant with the baby and the baby still survived. Due to the trauma I wanted an abortion. BUT SOMEONE WOULDVE LOVED THAT BABY EVEN IF I COULDNT. Adoption is an option no matter what so for anyone bashing anyone for EVEN THINKING about giving a child up should probably think about the mental financial emotional state of this mama. I’m just now dealing with my traumas and if someone would’ve tried to made me think I needed to keep that baby I would’ve committed suicide because TO ME THAT BABY WAS APART OF HIM AND HE WAS PURE EVIL. And that’s okay. I don’t have to see him. I can love him from a distance. His new parents love him unconditionally. But y’all don’t think about underlying traumas that people don’t want to say because they haven’t dealt with it yet. So in turn how about this. Instead of harping on such fragile feelings girl you need to do what you KNOW needs to be done. Idk you but from one mama to the other I know I could not do it if you or have any adoption questions please feel free to ask on my page Adoption advice
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Do what you feel is best for you! Fuck what others think! You have absolutely no reason to explain ANYTHING! Period
Do u if u have do do it but All u can do is do what’s best but I bet u u will be a good parent
Well damn! Your pum pum scratching…and now the kid has to pay for it! You deserve to not any children. Being an adult isnt a game sis! Step up!!!
Live the life you want to live without feeling guilty about living it. Give her up for adoption, if you have to think about it then there are so many people out there willing to adopt. Maybe make a care package that in the event she would like to gain info about who her birth parents are she’ll have answers. If you choose to give her up, try not to let her get lost in the foster care system, work hard to find someone to adopt her. Wish you nothing but the best on your journey. Love & Light 
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Keep your baby girl !!!
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No advice but sending you all my love! This must be such a difficult decision xx
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A father is not bye blood but is the person who stands up to raise the child and is willing to step up if the biological father doesnt want to your child is never a mistake unplanned yes but mistake no if he wants to stand up let him sometimes its for better that just means you have a great guy
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No child is a mistake you can love her enough just raise her and I think you will know u made the right choice
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You will be a wonderful mother to her. There is no better person to be her mother than you.
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I feel like your reason for giving her up aren’t 
. It has nothing to do with the kind of care you can provide for her, a stable home and a father who will love her as his own… But you’re saying it’s because of her real father. That’s like a man saying he doesn’t want to be involved with his child because of who the mother is. I am not anti-adoption by any means, but it’s very superficial. Maybe she would be better elsewhere then.
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I’ve been in kinda the same situation as you. Got pregnant with boyfriend at the time then he left me (we didn’t know that I was pregnant) I didn’t think I could handle being a single mother with 3 kids. I contemplated adoption pretty much the whole time I was pregnant and distanced myself from my pregnancy. I looked into adoption agencies looked at some families and even had one picked out that I loved…then something just hit me and I couldn’t do it…and as soon as I seen that little girl I was so much in love and was so glad I kept her. I will tell you though it hasn’t been easy at all…I had 3 in 3 years 
I’m barely getting by right now and thankful for the help I get. Adoption is a beautiful thing, make sure you are 100% on either keeping or adopting because you could regret either choice
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No one is going to judge you for giving the baby up. At least your being honest about why you’re wanting to. But once you do remember theres no going back and you’ll have to live with the decision. Just dont do anything crazy.
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I adopted my baby boy and he has an amazing support system and family. Adoption is an amazing blessing
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Message me if you decide on adoption, my best friend and her husband have been trying to conceive for 12 years and can’t. They have been on a waiting list to adopt for 2 years. It would be the greatest gift you could give another human.
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The relationship was a mistake not the child… Let the girl grow up with her family. Doesnt matter who the dad is… ITS YOUR DAUGHTER!!!
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First of all, I want to say thank you for seeing this pregnancy through to the end. You’re an amazing person for this. I think that it’s incredible that you’re considering giving her to a loving family. Based on what you said, I feel like you would regret giving her up. I feel like keeping her is best for you. But if you decide that she’s better off with someone else, that’s a brave decision to make.
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I hope you pray and think hard on this momma as much as you can. This is your choice. If you decide you that you cannot do it and do want to do to adoption I would happily adopt her. But ultimately this is your decision just pray on it think on it and you may want to even get professional counseling to help with the way you’re feeling. You’re in our prayers mon.
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I think you should do what’s best for you! Feel free to message me if you are looking into adoption.
I was apart of a foster family who adopted and it’s truly a beautiful thing.
I have a son who is a little over 1 years of age and we are looking to expand our family via adoption/fostering.
I had a very hard time conceiving and we will explore other options. Please feel free to message me even if it’s just for support.
I think it’s great that you are considering all options, and I know that ultimately you’ll make the correct decision for you.
Girl, I. GET. IT. My daughters father is a fucking garbage can and I had no idea what to do. But now I couldn’t imagine my life without her and she’s the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me. That being said, I hope you keep her, daughters are fucking awesome, but I totally get it if you don’t. If you can find her a good family I don’t think adoption should be completely out of the question.
Keep your little girl, she is a blessing.
She’s your baby that and love is all she’ll ever need…well her brothers as well. And they will need their sister. They will always wonder why you kept them and not her.
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You know…it’s ok to feel this way. However, you are being blessed with 2 wonderful gifts. First is your girl. The second is a man who not only took you back, but WILLING to take care of a child that is not his. Doesn’t have to be his in order for her to have a daddy. He is saying “I want this”.
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Do what you feel is best. Your body your choice. It’s going to be okay.
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Girl ill be honest here i have 3 kids by different guys spread over the years now i have never regretted keeping them even when pos bds decided to skip out when they realized i wouldnt let them do what they want my family all pushed for adoption or abortion i stood my ground. Just because the RELATIONSHIP was a mistake does NOT MAKE THE BABY ONE TOO. I have 3 amzing kids thanks to the 3 biggest mistakes i have ever made.
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I think if you have support from your family and you can support the baby, I say keep her.
Family doesnt always mean blood related and blood related doesnt always mean family.
Ask yourself, if you would be okay, without having her in your life.
I heard they’re open adoptions where you can still see them and have contact with the child.
But I think your daughter will always be able to fiind love and support from you and her brothers.
I hope I helped a bit.
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Just because it’s not his biologically doesnt mean she cant be his.
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This child will bring you so much joy. Keep her and love her.
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The relationship was a mistake not the baby. I promise you will see differently when you hold her. Shes your daughter.
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I think once you see her, all that won’t matter. If it were me, I would raise her. She’s still yours regardless of who the biological dad is.
You can do this!
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It is not your daughters fault, how you and her father’s relationship turned out. Nor is it her fault who her father is. I personal feel it’s terrible to punish the child just based off that. It’s different to put a child up for adoption because it’s best for the child. Sounds like you are just trying to get away from your mistake… a baby is not a mistake.
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My two cents, since you asked… You’re the mother to a brand new baby girl. I think you should raise her. You’ll love her just as much no matter who fathered her.
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Believe me. Once she is born you will be forever grateful for this little gift from God. She was meant to be and you won’t regret it. Ask God to give you peace and the right answer. Kudos to your boyfriend. He sounds like a keeper
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DNA doesn’t matter. Who cares if your baby girl is someone else’s. I have 2 children from 2 separate marriages. My husband now doesn’t see him as a step son but as a son. It’s a true man or woman to raise someone else’s child as their own. DNA doesn’t make you a parent, your love for the child does. My babies were “accidents” but I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
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God works I mysterious ways honey.
If your going to stay with your boyfriend of 6 years then that’s that. She’s got a daddy and he’s gonna be it! Your little family needs to come together and stay strong for all the children in it. Family counseling or even couples counseling would be a great idea also. If you decide to keep her, she should NEVER, not even for a second, feel out of place with her family!
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If he is willing to accept baby as good then this should bring you joy not sadness and babies are a gift no matter who helped make them. Don’t worry about the other guy and focus on your family and love this baby girl cause she is going to love you even more.
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Just because the relationship was a mistake, your daughter definitely is not. And you have a man that you love who is willing to step up to the plate and be that little girls daddy, my god you are so lucky!! How can you even question this? Stop thinking about the biological dad, erase him from your memory and focus on your family, including your baby girl. You are blessed, now be thankful!
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Honestly, it is ultimately YOUR decision. You search Within, You make the Choice. Be honest with yourself, and do what feels right, you’ll know.
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If you don’t feel you can love this child EXACTLY the way you love your other children give her to someone that will. It is not baby’s fault and her having to live a life with a mom who regrets her.children are a blessing and both you and her deserve to feel that. There are many people in this world not able to have children and would consider her a miracle not a regret.
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God doesn’t open your womb by mistake! YOU are meant to be her mother. He blessed YOU with her!
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Look at mom’s who got pregnant with a one night stand and kept their babies.
Yes, your previous relationship was a mistake but this child isn’t (more like an accident–which me and 3 of my siblings were lol).
What happens if you give her away or get an abortion(no judgement), and you and your boyfriend never have a girl?
You think this way now . But you’ll feel differently once shes here . Raise your baby girl . Dont let a mistake ruin the gift God choose give you.
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you should care for your daughter. Yea, she won’t be his, the one who your with, daughter, but he wants to be apart of her life. She’s still apart of you. Love her and be the mom you know you are to that little girl like you are to your sons.
I have two daughters, two diffrent baby daddies. the father of my younger one stepped up and took the place of my older daughter father, since her real dad doesn’t pay child support or bearly even sees her, only when he wants to show her off (is my opinion, idk the true reason). so be glad your BF knows it’s not his and still want to be in her life.
When this child is born. Make your decision then. A mother is always a mother and we have a bottomless pit of endless love for each baby. Regardless of who the father is. Yes you made mistake. So what? This child is not a product of rape so wait and see. Goodluck.
This is legit a convo and a decision that should be left to you and the father of the baby. Not a bunch of strangers.
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It depends on your job and your finances. Can you support 3 kids alone if your six year man decides to change his mind or leave?
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Sometimes mistakes are our biggest blessings. One thing for sure make you 're now husband legally adopts her otherwise her real father can step up at any moment and take the reins. I have friends in similiar situations and they have blended in beautifully. Some safe steps are never let her know she was a “mistake” treat her fairly and equally and most of all she will be your husbands “daughter” not step daughter.
In due time you will tell her she’s adopted and why.
Don’t justify your actions to anybody just yet don’t exposure her to be being judged and criticized…
I wish you the best. By the way please don’t forget to pray…it always helps.
Please do what you in your heart know will give this baby girl the best life she can have. Nevermind all the judgements seen here. She is a blessing. Let her be just that. Whether that be to you, or to another family that would thank God for her.
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Birth control and plan B and the baby didn’t leave your womb but now your second guessing what God fully intended to be and you feel you can’t love your own flesh and blood. If the father of your other kids ends up flaking then do your best at Co parenting the boys and go live your life WITH YOUR KIDS!!!
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I promise you will not think of her any less or love her any less bc of her sperm donor. Her father will be your bf who is the father to your other children. Life doesn’t always go as planned but that doesn’t mean the unplanned is bad. Good luck and remember whatever you choose is right.
I would focus on the reality & not the holiness of the situation.
Things happen for a reason maybe talk to your boyfriend about how you’re feeling if he’s willing to be there and he’s going to step up then why not I have your baby I understand if you would be struggling for money. My son’s father isn’t his real dad but he was there before I knew I was pregnant and he’s stayed the whole time he treats my son like the world to him
I would say keep the baby. I know it will be a lot to wrestle with. However, her dad may just step in and with the help of your current, you guys could coparent. It happens and honestly, could be a beautiful experience. You just never know. If he doesnt, I have seen step parents step up and do it all.
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Sometimes I think we look at things all wrong. We see something we regret and want to erase every piece of it from our lives. But without that we wouldnt be who we are meant to be. This little girl has been entrusted to you. She has defied some pretty great odds to get here. Dont count out her importance and significance because you regret how she entered your story. I heard it said once that unplanned babies arent accidents they are surprises. Something that we are given before we even realize that we need them.
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If your bf is willing to be a father to her (& y’all plan on staying together this time), keep her…men usually wouldn’t say something so serious like that if they didn’t mean it), keep her, because there are THOUSANDS of children who are abused in foster care.
It’s only DNA hun, look at the side of love.
She will always be your daughter, but will he always be your significant other? I can’t say what I would do because I haven’t been in your shoes, but I hope I wouldn’t let a man (either of them) ever cause me to question keeping my child.
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Look at the stability level of you and your boyfriend. He left once. Can you afford an extra child if things go bad with him again? She deserves love and stability above all else. If you’re both ready to get married, and you can afford this child, and you’re certain he will love her as fiercely as she deserves, then keep her, because surely you will fall in love with her. You will. You’re biologically set up to. If you can’t guarantee her that which she deserves then give her to a family who can. A stable couple who will send her to a great school and can afford college for her and will be able to put her needs above all else for the rest of her precious life. Adoption is an AMAZING gift, to a childless couple and to the child. You can’t go wrong as long as she is loved and living in a stable environment. That’s what matters. Not your feelings, not her biological father, not your boyfriend. Her future is literally all that matters. Put her needs first. That is your only job.
I will adopt your daughter 
Poor baby… giving her away just because she is not your boyfriend’s child sounds sooo selfish.
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Wouldn’t the biological Dad have to sign his rights away before adoption?
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U used birth control n did the morning after pill twice and still conceived?? I think it’s just meant to be esp since u always wanted a girl on top of that. The relationship didnt turn out great n u didnt get what u WANTED, but at least u made out w a beautiful gift that some women cant even have n could be what u NEEDED to complete your family. I’m all for adoption esp if the woman is too young or knows she cannot care for the child, due to rape, etc etc, but to give her up based on the relationship not working out doesnt cut it. It is your body and your choice and should do what is best for your daughter. If u and your hubby are what’s best, then you know the answer…but if u know u wont give her the love your other 2 kids get n feel u really cant give her the best life she deserves, then u know the answer to that too. I’m not w the father of my daughter, who is 14yo n I now have a 10mo w my now husband. My 1st wasnt planned at all n I was 20 when I got pregnant, but I knew I had the support such as it sounds like u do. The relationship didnt work out, but doesnt make me love my daughter any less cuz I’m no longer w her father. Ik my situation is very different from yours, but the point is still valid…just cuz he isnt what u wanted, this baby girl is prob what u need. Just do what’s best for that little girl. Best of luck w your decision.
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I have 6 children, 5 born in domestic violence relationships, 1 of the 5 born deceased due to the violence, my current partner loves them like his own and we have 1 together aswell. It doesn’t matter who the father is, that child is still made from your blood you still made her from scratch. Trust me once you see her nothing else will matter xx
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Follow your heart. Sounds like you have a good man in your life. Good luck and bring on the positive
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You know I totally get it children are hard, but what I’m puzzled by is that your reasoning for wanting to give up your baby is “because you don’t want to put that onto your boyfriend’s sholders”
But your boyfriend is a grown man and can choose whether to stay or go your unborn baby doesn’t have that luxury, you need to decide what’s best for your baby and yourself, not your boyfriend.
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So then give the baby up to someone that want children but they cannt
Let your baby bring happiness to others
You won’t be able to give her up after you see her. It doesn’t matter that the man that helped make her is no good. And I highly doubt after a year of having her around you’ll be thinking about her bio dad
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I understand the guilt but i think if you give her up that will haunt you forever. Even if the father was a mistake you’ll never get out of your mind your daughter is out there.
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I believe everything happens for a reason. A bumpy road doesn’t always lead to bad a destination. The most important thing is that everyone in your family feels loved, wanted and accepted. Picture your family in 5 years time. What do you hope to see?
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If you don’t want to keep a baby why have one. Take him keep it in his pants don’t punish the baby it needs its mom.
Adoption is better than abortion.
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Bottom line is that is YOUR child. No one else’s. Remember that first and foremost and your family’s child (grandchild/neice/nephew) if you are thinking of giving a child up based of ANY OTHER PERSONS feelings or involvement in YOUR childs life, that is the wrong perspective. It’s your baby, never give a child up because of anyone else. Speaking from experience. I went through something very similar. I made the right choice and urge every woman to do the same. Keep all your babies, they are yours!!!
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You and the baby’s father were a mistake. No baby is a mistake, keep her and love her
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Also pregnancy hormones, may not give you a clear head .
Ask yourself is the only reason you want to adopt this bubba out , is your own guilt ??? You may have to man up and except your own mistakes , you will love thos child no matter what, and your now partner seems amazing .
Good luck to you and your family.
Your decision is your decision.
It takes a special man to step up and be a dad to another mans child. He sounds like a good one! He could adopt it and make it legal.
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Don’t give her up. Get full custody of the baby since the father is not around. She’s your daughter and if the 6yr boyfriend wants to be a father and you guys want to br together. I say make yourself a family. Love her the same way and forget about everything else. 
best of luck to you and your little family.
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I gave my daughter up cause I was 17 and knew I couldn’t do it… most of these comments are horrible Adoption is not a bad thing or is it selfish in anyways adoption is a great thing and makes so many families complete… With that said I know your struggling and trying to make a very difficult choice don’t listen to anyone you have to only make a choice for yourself and no one knows what it’s like unless they themself have been through it I’m part of a birth mother support group if you want me to add you and if you need someone who understands you can message me anytime you have to make the choice that is best for you daughter… Your the only person who can do that
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Keep the baby. I have a month old and and my husband has been together for almost 6 year’s with , with his 4 kids whom are my step and my daughter who he has raised since she was 10 months old. And our 2 son’s. We split up and I was seeing someone else and I ended up pregnant with the possibility of it being my husband’s or my ex’s. . Husband says he looks like my ex. But still us raising our son
It’s your decision and everyone needs to state sides and opinions without bashing you. I’m totally pro choice so even if you would have went that direction early on I would not have judged at all. Now that you’re options are adoption or keep, there are things you have to take into consideration that matter.
Adoption- closed or open? Will you be wanting to meet and see your daughter regularly or when they are older? Will you be having more children after this? Is the fact the father isn’t the same the only reason?
Keeping her: Will the real father give up parental rights to allow your husband to adopt her? Is the father jealous that you’re back with your husband? Will he be vindictive while coparenting? Is he mentally stable and physically able to step up to be a father? Can you trust him with your daughter? Will he even help at all?
If your boyfriend is willing to step up to the plate then I don’t understand why this is a hard decision? You intend to give her away because the father isn’t who you wanted it to be? I mean, to me, this is easy, keep your baby and raise her with her siblings. You don’t know what’s going to happen with your bf, maybe you break up again in a year, how do you think you’ll feel then? When he’s gone AND you’ve given her away?
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If you are having problems deciding what to do, have the baby and give it to someone who wants it. There are so many people that can not have children, it would be a blessing to them.
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