That’s crazy. I’m getting married in July. Probably not doing any of the parties before
A bridal shower for men and kids???
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Think about a shower and bachelorette that is affordable for you, tell her that is what you can do, and, if necessary, ask her for a specific contribution to it, as well as to the clothes. Work out the exact amounts. No one should be required to live beyond their means, including maids and matrons of honour.
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Fuck that 
she think she slick tryna get mfs to pay for shit on the low:laughing:
I would tell her like I can’t afford all that, sorry
Ask her for financial help,she already knows your situation! A taco pot luck is a great idea, every one bring something is affordable for everyone!
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Ask all bridesmaids to pitch in. Everyone makes so many tacos to bring. Everyone pitches in. That way it isnt all on you. Our before party was just us all going out to eat together and everyone covered their own bill…lol. We spent the evening at Buffalo Wild Wings drinking and talking for a few hours,then went home to make final prep for wedding. Could just Taco Bell cater and all bridesmaids split the cost. I definitely wouldnt do it all alone.
Tacos are the easiest Cheapest dinner actually 
I would not do this because of Covid! Your older and you could pick up something that would not harm them but hurt you … This is why my Dr. told me to stay away from Church til its all over …
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If you could not afford it you should had declined giving her the reason. I had to do that one time. I declined because of that,
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All the bridal party should help everyone pitch in money or everyone bring something
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I got married a few months ago and my bridal party bought there dresses, shoes and nails. I paid for there hair and makeup to be done
Just tell her you can’t afford it plain blank and you can’t do it. Tell her if she wants the bachelor party she’ll have to pay for it. If she is your friend she’ll understand. And men plus kids should not be at a bridal shower sometimes we can’t always get everything we want when I got married I didn’t have none of that.
Tell everyone to bring a plate " I myself would have just told her No " & we are all doing it tuff so Tell her if she wants all that to pay for it ’
She should expect nothing from you except your good wishes. It would be different if you offered to do this. What’s wrong with her~ expecting you to feed all those people? Tell her it’s more than you can afford. You may not want to continue with this friendship.
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Explain you don’t have the cash
Wait, what? … why YOU have to plan, execute and pay for it?? Where I am from when people get married they pay for absolutely everything themselves. I would definitely and simply decline the invite even if I was in a position to pay for it because I don’t understand WHY she doesn’t do all that herself.
Unfortunately this is customary for a wedding. They are expensive and being in the wedding party is very expensive. If she is your best friend, talk to her.
This is a hard one. I know you want to make her wedding and everything that comes along with it special for her. If I were you I would figure out exactly how much you can spend on these 2 parties (after you buy the outfits for the wedding) then I would call her and ask to meet with her.
If your budget is $100 then simply tell her, this is how much I can afford. These are my ideas for your bridal shower that’s more affordable for me. Ask her for her input, but ultimately your finances are what they are. If you can’t do it you can’t do it.
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I get married in 2 months. My aunts are throwing my bridal shower and my bridesmaids and I are all splitting the bachelorette weekend. Just simply tell her you can’t afford it
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Do you know how to say NO? Then give a very simple reason “with everything going on one we only have one income coming in we simply don’t have the extra money to spend”. If they can’t understand your problem then they weren’t your friend anyway!
Sooooo, it’s not coming from a one income household. You specifically have another maid of honor to pitch in. These are also typical duties and expenses taken on traditionally by the maid of honor. Open your mouth and talk to the bride to discuss alternatives. Or to the bridesmaids.
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Nope sorry she better be buying the food
The bridezilla comments are hilarious…nothing in the limited info given about the bride even suggests bridezilla in the least
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Anytime I went to a bridal function being in the bridal party everything was split between all the girls.
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Try talking to your friend. Explain the situation.
Maybe make it a Mexican pot luck bridal shower. I’ve been in your shoes before and talked to each family that was coming and not one of them had a problem with the pot luck meal deal because the majority of them can totally relate!
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This isn’t difficult. You can’t afford it so tell her 
. Use your words.
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Delegate the funds throughout the bridal party, throwing it doesn’t mean funding the entire thing. My MOH complained about costs but many offered to help and she refused the help, my mom included. There are ways to approach it with the bridal party and her family members. You guys could also make food to reduce cost.
She has offered to help. Figure what your willing to spend and the rest is her own investment
If you don’t want to pay for anything step down. My MOH and bridesmaids paid for mine, difference is I didn’t ask and it included like 40 people. I did ask them to buy their own dresses but I made sure they were inexpensive. I just assumed that when accepting the role these are standard things u pay for and i feel kinda bad for your “best friend” that you’re on social media moaning about it.
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Some of these women are selfish cu*+s… a wedding is about sharing your special time with those you love. If you are a Maid or Matron of Honor, its because you share a special bond. You are there to be her friend, for support, etc. You are NOT there simply to pay for things. No true friend would not understand the difference. There’s no call for “stepping down” because of finances. Simply point out that all you can afford is your outfits, etc. Offer to craft for decorations, offer to help cook, etc. Ecen those things can get pricey but are much cheaper options than shelling out cash for what some people consider traditional. Make it clear that if others want something bigger, they are welcome to help but let’s be honest. A celebration should be based on friendship and love, not cost
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Communication is also part of friendship too.
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If she picked someone else to be the MOH, those duties rest on HER not you. You can help setting up. You can help with ideas. Heck you can even help by looking for the best prices for the MOH. But be honest with her.
IMO if it were my wedding i would not want others to be having expenses on my behalf. Why should they go into debt for me?
In fact… For this same reason, I opted out on of a wedding (that and i have anxiety so I would have been MISERABLE knowing eyes were on me all day)
Instead we got married at the courthouse (just him and me) and we all went to dinner on a separate weekend. We paid for dinner. No one had to make any kind of commute. No one had to ask off for work for a wedding.
Instead we invested what would have been spent on a wedding (that would have lasted 1 day) into our future. Our home.
But at the end of the day, only give what you can. Don’t go into debt or leave your family without a meal for another person. It’s not like she’s going to turn around and say, “thanks for the help, I’m sorry it put you in a tough financial situation, here’s some of the $ from my honeymoon to help you get back on track with your expenses”
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your so called best friend is very unreasonable…pass the buck, hey? lol
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Just tell her you cant afford to doo all that.
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Nope. Call the bride. Your friendship relies on it.
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First of all, yes others can chip it n. Second tacos are fairly inexpensive. A good choice. Don’t try to pay for everything at one time. Save as much as you can ahead of time. Find inexpensive dresses places to rent them or s cond hand or fabric that can be used again and find a friend that sews
Taco luncheon says informal attire to me. Keep clothing simple and reusable. Things you need anyway.
Bowing out is an option. Speaking up and I thinking outside the box is too.
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If you dont want to do it just tell her. Perhaps you should suggest that you could be a bridesmaid but feel as though somebody else might want the other position. Someone more financially set.
This isn’t meant as a bad thing. It’s okay. Neither one of you should be stressed about obligations at this time. Just be there for her the easiest way you can be. She should understand and even possibly not choose someone else and help out more with the money.
It’s part of being a MOH. If you couldn’t afford to do it, you shouldn’t have accepted the role. Maybe talk to the rest of her bridal party and her mom to see if they can help. But these are known things taken care of by the MOH. You can very easily throw a bridal shower with 20 guests very inexpensively. Especially with tacos! Make a crockpot of taco meat. Set up basic toppings and taco shells, tortillas and tortilla chips. You can probably feed everyone for under $40. Keep drinks simple… have coffee, iced tea and water. As for the cake - you can get an 8 inch round cake from any bakery pretty cheap and that should be enough for 20 people. Pick up dollar store crafts for favors/door prizes. And keep decor simple. If you go to Google, search bridal showers on budgets, you can find tons of diy and cheap ideas.
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If you can’t afford to do it then step down your friend should understand
Get the bridesmaids to help out
My daughters bridesmaids didn’t pay for her shower! One of them brought flowers and Balloons but that was it.
Just tell her she’s going to have to come shopping with you so she can pay.
It doesn’t have to be extracting why don’t you guys just get a hotel get some wine and pick some some games and stuff to give you unless she’s the kind of person that wanted to be a certain way or just remind her that you have a family to think about and well you’re willing to help fund some you can’t find the whole thing
Def not sorry honey this the 21 St century you actually need to pay for your own parties the betterment is real. Do not put your family out for that party and you will see who your real friend is.
I have been “co-maids of honor” in a wedding before and I also had both a maid of honor and a matron of honor in my wedding and I can tell you that you absolutely should be at the very least, splitting the bill. If the other maid of honor isn’t pitching in then they shouldn’t be her maid of honor. Secondly, I would just have a heart to heart with your best friend. Chances are she just didn’t even consider what she was asking of you in the chaos of everything else, granted I had been in enough weddings both bad and good by the time I got married so I was very financially considerate to my bridal party but sometimes people who have money forget how hard not having enough money can be. At the end of the day though, I hope that you don’t try to do all of that and wind up having less than you need just to make her happy. I know it’s easier said than done but if after you’ve explained what you’re stressing over and your friend still isn’t understanding then you really are better off walking away from that friendship than caving.
Yeah I would have let her buy outfits usually the bride does I think
This is all a part of being MOH however why is her bridal shower including so many? Men and children? Seems excessive.