Pregnancy ruined my sex life: Advice?

I’m looking for advice or just even words of wisdom for my concerns. My boyfriend and I are having a baby by the end of this month, almost there. But our sex life and relationship because of this pregnancy has taken a huge hit because of it. All in all, my boyfriend finds the pregnancy none sexy, which I can understand to an extent. But the lack of sex life and the complete disregard for me has taken its toll on my self-esteem and how I am viewing myself. I’m not aware of what he does to satisfy himself, as I don’t go poking around. But in this last trimester, especially, my sex drive has been very high, and I’m so attracted to him and want him. So I am always attempting to be affectionate in that way, and am constantly… every single time … turned down. The occasional time we have (on his attempt never mine), it either doesn’t work because he loses interest cause of the belly or no patience for a change in position, again the pregnancy is unattractive to him. I know this is all an overshare, I’m just concerned because how is this suppose to get easier after the baby arrives, through my healing process after birth and through the newborn stage… We have had conversations about it, and they will usually turn into an argument because he thinks I’m putting too much pressure on him. This has harmed our relationship because we’re walking on eggshells with each other and I feel completely unattractive and useless… should I relax and not overthink it? Will things get better after all is said and done? Have any of you women gone through the same thing and are willing to share your end results? I need some reassurance here or something. I’m losing my marbles :)))

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Sorry but he sounds a bit of a plum. I hope he’s useful when the baby arrives and looks after you properly.

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I’m sorry you’re feeling stressed. This should be one of the happiest times in your life. I guess before answering, I would need more info.

  • Prior to the pregnancy, was this a long-term, committed relationship?
  • Did you both plan this pregnancy?
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Sounds like your entire relationship is based on sex and that’s NOT the of relationship anyone should be bringing a baby into

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Hes just making excuses and sounds like to me you are justifying them. I’m sorry but he though u was good enough to knock up but now you not?
Nah… Something not right with ya man!

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There are many safe positions for sex while pregnant. Take his ss to the bookstore and show him the healthy sexual section and the photos! His dck isn’t SO big that he will knock said baby in the head and leave a dent! Have your doctor explain to him that sex during pregnancy helps with many health issues: lowers blood pressure, eases pain, stretches vaginal walls, AND improves self-esteem! He needs to stop playing, or you need to plan on moving on!

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You inferred because of the belly. He sounds like a vanity ass. If he cannot love and accept you, no matter your appearance, he has the issues not you. A real man loves their significant other for them… all of them.

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Dump him. He already has no regard for your feelings.

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Doggie style. Not to be gross, but that’s the tightest he will ever feel. He don’t know what he’s missing. Theres a reason pregnant sex is a fetish.
And orgasm, should you have one, is so cool to feel the baby because your uterus tightens and you can feel the baby really well. So if he won’t, test it alone :innocent:

If you have family your parents? Go home be loved thru the rest of your pregnancy & make a plan for you & your child to hell with him

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Dump him sounds like hes not there for you now, he wont be when babys born.

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I don’t think pregnancy is taking a toll on your sex life/relationship. I think this pregnancy is exposing this man for the douche bag that he is.

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Sorry, but, what a JERK!!!:frowning:

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So…hes not attracted to you because you are pregnant…sounds like he only wanted you because of how you looked prior. There are so many things you 2 could be doing where the belly wont get in the way. I would have a serious convo with him because I think this is a precursor to your future, if you dont look pretty he wont be attracted to you. You do not want a relationship like that at all. I think things need to be reevaluated!!

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He doesn’t sound like a good human. I feel he is incredibly superficial and not in the level you need him to be in to have a good relationship. If he is not willing to compromise on what it takes to be in a real relationship and PARENT, then you need to put yourself in a better situation for you and your child.
You have to remember you are a strong woman. YOU are a badass! As a fellow woman I wish you the best! :fist:t3:

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He’s an I inconsiderate selfish ass! Dump him!

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You don’t have to have sex to be intimate. It will all be okay.

Dump him lawyer up and grow a life with you and your child

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Pregnancy is the most beautiful thing in this world you should feel blessed not stressed. And if there’s no sex life now what do you think he’s gonna do when the baby takes all your time. My advice is go while you can

Find a man that will love you, physically, emotionally and mentally ALL of the time and one that will put your insecurities to rest. And by all means one that will never let you starve for sex. Trust me, find a real man before you get even further in with this one. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. Good luck Mama!

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Alot of blowjobs and sex toys are needed right now :woman_shrugging:t4::see_no_evil: keep it simple girl… don’t let sex fuck u up

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That is beyond sad and there’s no excuse for how he’s treating you!! He’s being shallow & selfish and really showing his true colors!! You can stay with him & always feel miserable or leave him!! If a man really loves you it won’t matter if you’re pregnant or get fat or get old he’ll ALWAYS be attracted you!!!

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Sounds like he’s getting it elsewhere. Using you as an excuse .

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It sounds like you’ve had a baby with an incredibly immature and selfish boy. I would consider leaving him. If he’s been like this now, it will continue in the future. For him to even be unloving to you and not actively nurture you while you carry his own baby is the highest form of selfishness. You can find a better man.

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The most concerning thing that you said imo is that when you try to discuss your feelings with him, it turns into an argument and he says you are putting pressure on him…for crying out loud…if you can’t openly discuss your feelings with your s.o., HUGE red flag…you have to come to a bunch of total strangers in order to not be judged…that is just wrong. I would never advise anyone to end a relationship because that is only for.you to decide, however if he is unwilling to be your best friend, your lover, your confidant, your protector…your everything…then he’s just a D…and there are millions of them.

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Don’t give that baby his last name. Respect yourself enough to demand respect back. I would guess he has been “relieving himself” with the help of someone else.

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Horrible! Leave him!!!

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Sounds like hes getting it else where

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Damn some men are like that. Mine loves me pregnant but i hated it.

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If he’s like this now, he WILL NOT change. Imagine how he will view you after the babies born; because your body will be physiologically different, forever. My advice, move on without him, find someone that’s worth your time, and for the sake of his child. He won’t change sadly.

I disagree with everyone saying how horrible he is and leave him. EVERYONE has their own sexual preferences. His happens to not be pregnant women and theres absolutely nothing wrong with that. Continuing to push it on him again and again after hes been honest and expressed this to you is not fair to him and probably an even bigger turn off. Women advocate for not being pressured to have sex from men. Men should be allowed these same rights. My boyfriend was the first way with our first child. Soon as she was out of my body he very much found me sexy again. But until then I was the sacred carrier of his life force. Not be viewed as sexual etc. He eventually got over it by the time our second kid came around and now very much initiates sex tho I’m 7 months preg. We laugh about it now and how silly it was but he thanks me for not pressuring him. I know its shitty momma and you have needs but unless hes just a horrible person in general and things dont change after baby comes then just give him some time and stop bringing it up. Something important too remember too, is men want what they cant have. Start telling him no when he doesnt initiate it. I’m sorry I’m not in the mood I’ve already handled myself today. No hunny this pregnancy is just making me feel not very attracted to you right now. Etc. Telling him you’ve already gotten urself tho. Oh girl I promise that’ll raise an eyebrow and get him thinking.

He’s an idiot, plain and simple!

I dont think its a good sign an argument breaks out when you try to voice your feelings. A good, solid relationship isnt suppose to make you feel useless.

Before yall were expecting how was the relationship?

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Okay ill be the one to say it … my man wasnt ever really interested when i was pregnant either , not necessarily that its unattractive but the concept of the baby being …right there… just kinda wrekced it for him.
After baby things quickly went back to normal.
Dont work yourself up over this and dont think the worst, hope things work out and go back to normal for you!!

He doesn’t find pregnancy attractive and perhaps he is also afraid of hurting his child, it isn’t unheard of… he should be hugging and expressing his love for you in other ways if he can not have sex at this stage. He hasn’t said he doesn’t love you or want you, he hasn’t said he doesn’t want his child… if he said either of the two things then I would run. But if it’s only sex then a few months after the baby you will be ok. Not all man are the same and not all cheat. Remember the saying there’s are many ways to get toRome? just make sure he is not neglecting you in any other way…something tells me that YOU know the answer to this. Follow your gut feeling…

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Sounds like he’s going through something and doesn’t want to put that problem on his pregnant wife who is about to pop. There may be something else bothering him. But way to make his lack of a sex drive all about you and what you want.

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Follow your gut Honey

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Ewww lifes too short to deal with a man like that. Bye. I mean what if women everywhere just started bringing down the hammer and walking away from men and their childish ways. It would be a very good thing. Your a goddess and should have what you desire. If he won’t. Lots of men who will.

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Just remind him that you didn’t get this way by yourself & that the baby is his also

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It sounds like he simply doesn’t find pregnancy attractive, it’s horrible but stop putting so much pressure on you both for from your description what sounds like a temporary issue, it’s disgusting that there are so many women on here carrying on about her needing to break it off with him because he doesn’t want to have sex with her atm, get a grip and stop the paranoid overreach ladies it’s pathetic

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It could be the whole pregnant thing scares him to death. He’s going to be a father and doesn’t know how to deal with it. On the other hand he may think he’ll hurt you during sex. You two should be able to talk without arguing. What’s he mad about. Maybe a counselor if you two can’t talk without arguing. After all , you two are going to be parents soon. Nick it in the butt now.

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It could be a blessing. I lost one pregnancy from having sex, and almost lost a second one for the same reason. We decided to call it quits during the second threatened, pregnancy, and delivered a healthy full-term baby.

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Same thing happened to me. I can’t give you any advice other than wait and see how he behaves after the baby is born. Then, you would have a better idea of what’s going on with him. I’m sorry you have to go through this, but it seems like that’s how is going to be for now at least. Stay focus on being positive for your baby and try not to worry.

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I’m sorry hun, but there’s an underlying issue here. And it’s pretty clear in my opinion. I’m gonna assume this is his first child. And it seems like he isn’t pleased about it. Sounds like he doesn’t want that responsibility yet. It’s not normally to disregard your pregnant girlfriend like that and for him to be so standoffish about touching you. He sounds like an asshole hun. Sorry, but he does. And I hate to be blunt here, but he also sounds like he’ll probably leave you afterwards. I’m saying that because once the baby is here, the first year is pretty tiring and tuff. I just became a first time mother a year ago. And I understand the sex life being effected for a while. He’s gonna leave. That’s just my opinion hun. But his behavior towards you is awful. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing. Nothing unattractive or ugly about it. Don’t let his behavior make you feel like you understand where he is coming from feeling that way. Because it’s a load of crap. There’s nothing ugly about pregnancy.

Sit him down and ask him do u not want sex because your scared to hurt me or the baby or are u not attracted to the big belly bump. Try suggesting other things like head while watching porn of his choice or role playing. Whatever it is u think hes into i dont think hes a bad person if he really cant get into it take care of yourself and offer every once in a while to give him head dont over think it

Get rid if him now he wont change

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He could be afraid he’s going to hurt the baby you should not pressure him into having sex with you if the shoe was on the opposite foot it would not be cool for him to be pressuring you into sex. If he’s saying you’re pressuring him back off. Also yes it will be totally different and get better after you have the baby.

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Sounds like he’s already cheating.

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He sounds immature at best, shallow and selfish at worst. I’d be careful if it were me… Sounds like a potential cheater to me.

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He likes what he likes. We all do.

You seem like you need to work on your self-esteem and image. No one else can help you with that.

Also; he is not obligated to have sex with you. Back off from the sex shit. You’ve got more important things to focus on.

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I’m sorry but I’m a strange way while I was pregnant with each of my 3 kids I didn’t have sex for 9 months. And I waited the six weeks after.so to each their own while they’re pregnant of what their sex life is like you kind of have to deal with certain things either way.and if you’re having troubles with your relationship while you’re pregnant it sounds like nothing’s going to get any better after the baby is born I really feel sorry for the child more than anything

Get yourself a toy and call it a day. Hes tried and it just didn’t work for him. You wouldnt want pressure put on you for sex if you weren’t into it. His sex drive has died off (for now) roll with it. You putting strain on him to perform when he’s not feeling it puts extra strain on your relationship.

Sounds like you need a different man. What’s next he wont have sex with you because your boobs changed or you have streach Mark’s??? He should have gotten you pregnant

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Toys and try getting him to have sex with you while you are on your hands and knees your belly won’t get in the way and he won’t see it to loose Interest. Some men are turned off because they know your child is in there and he might be afraid he might hurt the baby. Don’t feel bad about yourself try to see it from his point of view it seriously probably isn’t you.

He sounds superficial and you don’t need that. Self-esteem has nothing to do with SEX, get over that one. Your self-esteem comes from self-worth and right now it should be high. You are carrying a human life and about to become a mother! A REAL man loves you for who you are and not your outside body (it changes so much through aging). You have a BOY and not a man. I don’t know how long you’ve been together but it wasn’t long enough to have a baby with him, too late now, time to make the best of it. Life will change and so will what you want in life…date, date and date more…no more babies till you find the right guy (try someone off the normal picks). Whatever happens with this boy, make sure he pays child support and don’t let him tell you your value, you are worth much more than he can handle. Be happy and know that SEX won’t replace LOVE or self worth, it’s temporary. Find yourself along with enjoying your new baby and give it 6 weeks to heal and birth control right after birth to avoid an oops. Your body needs 2 years to totally heal and do that, and if you leave him, date in that time. You now have a baby to think of, pick a man that will give your child a good parent. Good Luck.

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U sound like u lost your marbles​:woozy_face::woozy_face:

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Use toys Infront of him… He will either love it and find it sexy or get funny about it. Dif he gets funny well more fool him

After the baby he will be telling you he doesn’t like how your boobs look like​:roll_eyes::roll_eyes:as if he doesn’t know pregnancy does things. :put_litter_in_its_place: why get a lady pregnant in the first place

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I had the very same experience during pregnancy. My libido was high. My husband refused to have sex. This will sound ridiculous but HE was afraid of hurting the baby. I was so desperate I even brought home a note from my doctor!!! So don’t let your self esteem be damaged. He may be freaking out that there is a little person in there!!!

Girl. You better get on with some else …he is so shallow …how is pregnancey untractive ?..real men dont lose intrist. You got yr self a boy

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He’s the one making you feel unattractive it’s not because you are.
He’s immature, selfish and needs to grow up and be a man! Your having a baby, this should be bringing you both closer together. Tell him to get over himself!

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I’m sorry but Rachel Rachael Edwards, you have not offered one piece of advice any thread I’ve read. It seems you get off on attacking and degrading the other women who are actually giving advice. You comment as if you know everything…you know nothing by reading some of your garbage. And name call. Not everyone is a man hater. So, please go sit down at the kids table while the adults are having a conversation. You have brought nothing of value to the forum. You’re making a fool of yourself and others are putting you in your place. You really must enjoy sounding stupid. Sorry kiddo, but you’re out of your league.

Some men just are not attracted yo pregnant women while others are over the moon.

Well it will get better it did for me my husband was there for me in the whole thing and after the Baby arrived everything went back to normal

It’s his baby. What a ass to not be attracted to u. Sorry men can be jerks that way. Next he’ll wine like a baby cuz u gained weight. Oh bo ho. Well there is his excitement to cheat. If i were u hed be begging before he touch me again he would earn it or not have it

Is he really young? This sounds like a maturity issue to me.

Sounds like you need to leave him. He put that baby there and has the audacity to tell you that you’re not attractive? Sounds like you’re dealing with a shallow shell of the male species.

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He clearly does not care about you or your feelings. If you expect this to change once you have the baby good luck because I doubt his attitude will change. He will always have an excuse for bad behavior it’s up to you if you accept it or walk away.

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Your boyfriend is an immature kid…he needs to grow up in a hurry!!

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Sounds like he may use that as an excuse to cheat… hope you do t plan on having any more with him. Don’t let him in the delivery room, he may never touch you again.

I’m sorry to say, but I think you have a shallow, selfish boy. He’s not husband materal. And unfortunately, Those "type " never change. It will always be him over you. In everything. As for the “needs” you have, personally, if it was me, I’d never touch him again. Take care of your own needs, but, I’m pretty sure your going to be so sad from all these oppions, that you will loose intrest in it.
#2, if he’s behaving this way now, don’t let him watch the birth, he’ll loose his f-n mind over seeing that. Trust me. Get your mom, your sister, your best friend, It will be better for you. (Because he will also not be supportive when you need him, he’ll just bitch about the cable tv in the room. Or play on his phone the whole time.
I’m sorry, I don’t wish to sound harsh, but I’m not going beat around the bush.

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What’s he gna act like if u don’t lose the weight so fast???

I have experienced this when I was pregnant with my first child. As soon as my belly started to show, all his “lust” for me went out the window. The bigger my belly grew, the more it seemed to disgust him & he spent less & less time with me…even staying gone 2 to 3 days at a time without word. We were so very young, 18. He was in jail for our daughter’s birth, released not long afterwards but my body had changed & had become less attractive. Sex wasn’t really an option then either. I got tired of begging & made to feel less of a human being so I left. I’ve come across a few shitheads since then but NO ONE has made me feel so unwanted as my daughter’s Dad did! You’re essentially dating an immature, selfish, insensitive ASSHOLE & should take your baby & leave! He will NEVER change! Don’t mean that to sound harsh, only truthful. In whatever you decide, I wish you & your baby the best of everything & much love!:heart:

I had two miscarriages so no matter how badly I wanted my husband he would not touch me with a ten foot poll! It was really hard on me. I started to fell like I was fat, ugly, and unappealing. Everything kind of worked out in time. Thank goodness for my vibrator!! I wore that thing out.

When i was pregnant my kids father was the same way. He wouldn’t even rub my belly. I dont know how to help cuz i ended up finding out he was cheating so we didn’t last long after my 2nd son was born. I wish you the best

Focus on the baby. ;D

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Sounds like a real dick.

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take care of your own needs . maybe he is just scared and it don’t have anything to do with how attractive you are. tell him he isn’t going to poke the baby its okay

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I’ve not had this happen during pregnancy.

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Hormones are usually out of whack for a bit give it some time

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A lot of men become afraid they’ll “poke the baby”.

My fiancé and I haven’t had sex in gosh… probably a month and a half or something. It’s uncomfortable. Angles just don’t work out most of the time. One of us gets a cramp. It’s like a set of blind 90 year olds going at it lmao.
Now he’s afraid he’s going to poke the baby because he comes out in 12 days.

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Dies he have any other characteristics of narcissist personality disorder?? Withholding sex is one of them. Js…

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I have not been through this personally. It’s usually the opposite. My kids father wanted it more while I was pregnant. I’m not sure if he’s really not attracted to u because of ur pregnancy or if it’s something else. Keep ur eyes open love.congrats on ur baby. Carrying your child is a beautiful thing. Don’t let him mess that up for u. :heart:

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Him not wanting to have sex with you does not equal him thinking you’re unattractive, first of all. He is not required to have sex with you every time you want it, just as you are not required to have sex with him. And seriously, if a man were to be writing this, every woman would jump on the man saying he’s wrong for pushing it. Relax and enjoy your pregnancy. He is entitled to his feelings and some men just aren’t into pregnant sex. It does not mean he doesn’t think you’re attractive. It does, however, mean you need to figure out why you think that you need to have sex to feel beautiful.

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He is probably nervous for the baby, lighten up!

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Have you tried just to take it from him lol be all over him you know go down on him and get him all hipper haha then you know what happens be sexy I don’t know just giving you suggestions:) since you have tried :slightly_smiling_face:

My ex while I was pregnant didn’t like having sex of of fear that he would hurt me or hurt our baby. Instead he would rub my shoulders, rub my legs, sit with me in the shower if I feel light headed. He showed me love in other ways which, still made me feel loved and cared for.

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But anyway.
It’s hard for some men to accept the changes, physically. If it’s just because of the belly, I’d say everything, from my past experiences, will go back to normal once you’re healed and things aren’t as fumbly and awkward during.

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Sounds like his problem not yours. He obviously doesn’t care how you feel

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Isnt it dangerous this far gone anyway?

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Damn my fiancé wouldn’t leave me alone. Doggy style. Plain and simple

He sounds like an asshole :pensive:

Honestly, most guys that find pregnancy unattractive, never end up finding attraction in you ever again. It’s truly pathetic n I’ve seen a couple people go through it… But never let him make you feel like you’re not beautiful. You are perfect!! Please don’t let anyone make you feel any less

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It should be back to normal after u have the baby and r able to have sex again (6 weeks). If it doesn’t go back to normal that’s when u know u have a problem.

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Sounds like a 12 yr old boy. Get away from that type. They dont want families. They want image and are manipulative selfcenterd and act like disrespectful children. His treatment is a turn off to me!!. My man made me feel sexy as hell and my drive was off the charts. Sounds like a boy problem.

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While I haven’t experienced this myself, I don’t generally want to have sex when I’m pregnant. At all. I don’t feel sexy. I feel huge and uncomfortable.

He’s not required to be attracted to you when you’re pregnant. Some guys like it, some guys don’t, and I probably wouldn’t push it.

It’ll be better after the baby and you’ve recovered because you won’t have a huge baby in your belly.

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Get him to try from behind. A lot of men are just weirded out by the whole pregnancy thing. And worry about what happens after the baby comes, after the baby comes.

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This is coming from a woman who has completely lost her sex drive but is constantly pestered by her partner to have sex because he’s got a high sex drive… I think you need to relax, having a baby is a major change for both of you and it’s natural for one or both of you to feel differently about sex during and even after pregnancy. You need to deal with it I’m afraid, there’s every chance that once baby comes along you might loose your sex drive or even just be too tired and distracted to think about sex so don’t overthink it. Him not wanting sex does not mean he doesn’t find you attractive or that you’ll never have sex again, be patient and focus on the baby, I’m sure things will go back to normal.

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I think it’s normal for men. This is mine and my husbands 2and baby and the further I got along which each pregnancy the sex became less because it was uncomfortable for both of us and he was also affraid of hurting me and the baby. Still finds me attractive just doesnt want anything to happen to either of us

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Either he is incredibly shallow, cheating, or he is worried about the baby. I would ask him point blank what the issue is.

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