Question for school aged Mamas and dealing with IEP meetings…my daughter is an only child and when she was younger had very little social interaction due to me working and family helping me watch her when I did work. When she was in preschool they had a behavior specialist at the school questioning whether she was on the spectrum ( which I am adamant she is not…the issues she has had I went through the same exact thing at her age ) they decided to re evaluate a few years later, she had poked her head in the classroom and said everythin was good however after a couple bad days this year the teacher wants to reevaluate with the specialist ( she is in 3rd grade ) I’m so nervous because I have a feeling they want to state she is autistic…which I am a 1000 percent without a doubt know she isnt !! I guess I’m needing to vent more than anything but I guess does anyone have any advice for when i do the zoom meeting ?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Question for mamas of school aged kids - Mamas Uncut
They’re wanting her to succeed. There is nothing wrong with your child having an iep. Nothing. Your child will get the help he or she needs to be more successful in school. An iep is for farrrrrrrrr more than just autism. It’s reading issues, math , science … anything …. My daughter has an iep for reading … started hers in 3rd grade to. I fear where she’d be without it.
I would maybe take her to an outside specialist for an independent eval.
You can decline them evaluating her if you want to. They have to have your permission to do it so. If you don’t think she has autism then voice that to them.
Let them do the evaulation and see what they say. Its nothing wrong with getting checjed out. You may feel nothings wrong but our kids act different at school then at home. Minedo
How do you know she isn’t? Are you a professional??? What is the big deal if she is??? I work with Autistic individuals on a daily basis and I love it?
You can let them do the evaluation. I highly encourage you to get her an appointment with a developmental pediatrician. They can do an evaluation as well. You’ll have two expert results to compare.
Being on the spectrum is not a bad thing. It’s not a disease that will harm her. If she is on the spectrum but you choose to never acknowledge that then you are denying her accommodations that will be given to her to make sure she is successful in school. She would get therapies where she and you both will learn how to navigate the world we live in that is not very accommodating. As a parent it can be hard forgot for your child to get a diagnosis feeling self blame and guilt sometimes. Truth is we are all different and that’s okay. Let them do the eval. It sounds like they are only wanting to help her.
If there is any concern for her ability to progress in the classroom, and she gets that diagnosis, she will be entitled to TONS of amazing services that will have her surpassing her classmates. I would look it at it as a blessing. She will get lots of extra support!
Yikes, the ableism here is sad… if your daughters on the spectrum, she’s on the spectrum 
Listen to the experts, take the info in, and do your best to help your daughter as much as possible. At least with a diagnosis, she’ll be able to get the assistance she needs to succeed, fighting it only hurts her in the long run.
Seriously stop being offended that your child could be on the spectrum! That’s the first place to start
I mean I don’t think the school can diagnose her. My sons had a few evals done by the school psychologist . They said he might have a few diagnosis’s of some things , some of which we already knew. It’s up to me to proceed with that information. But it did get him more help
You say autistic like it’s a bad thing… It’s ok if your daughter is not neurotypical.
Nothing wrong with having her evaluated, was is wrong with her getting some help to succeed, you should stop being in a negation position because you are not a specialist but you can also talk to her pediatrician about it and has her evaluated outside the school to have a second opinion
They want her to succeed as should you. How are u certain she isn’t on the spectrum? You seem rather defensive that she may have some underlying issues that may likely interfere with her education. Embrace what God gave you and enjoy that child. Help her, make her feel that she can have her bad days but those good days are what matters. Accept that your child needs a little extra help. Don’t be ashamed and please don’t ever let her know that u may be embarrassed or ignorant to the fact she needs some intervention.
It’s not going to hurt her to receive autism services
I would take her to a specialist. But they aren’t pointing out this behavior as a bad thing. I would def listen to experts though! They are trained and trained and trained to look for these behaviors and what not. Also, at least with my sons adhd, the achool mentioned it to me but it was his pediatrician who diagnosed him. And if she is autistic, will you see her any differently? If she is struggling, I feel as her mom you should do everything in your power to help her succeed, even if that means she has autism.
They want to help her have an easier time in school. My son, who is 9, has been an IEP since he was in kindergarten. They cannot diagnose her, they can only diagnose at an educational level. Autistic is NOT a label! If she is, there is nothing wrong with her, it is just how her brain works…imagine how frustrating it can be for her. I get being scared, but this is about her success. There is such a stigma on autism and it breaks my heart. A real diagnosis come from a Dr, not a school. If they suspect that she is autistic, then you need to seek outside evaluation. She could just need some basic help on how to handle social situations. You did nothing wrong as a mother, you did what you needed to.
Attend that meeting for your daughter.
You can also call your insurance company to find out which pediatric neurologists they have who can also evaluate her. If she has autism, she already has it. Just get her the appropriate help.
Get an evaluation. If she needs help, there is nothing wrong with it. My youngest has an IEP, he has dyslexia. The school would of preferred to intervene when he was older and I had to fight against it. He is thriving and loving school now. How does your daughter feel? Does she feel like she needs help? Have you talked to her??
Teachers are with our kiddos more during the day during the week so if they are seeing behavioral issues then I would let them evaluate her… Maybe she has ADHD/ADD? My son is ADHD and on the spectrum and is a great kid so smart so caring and there is nothing wrong with him being a special needs kiddo… I adore my kiddo and learn so much from him… Are you afraid to have a special needs kiddo? Is there a specific reason you don’t want to let them evaluate her?
Well teachers work with your kid everyday. Do the testing. Maybe they see something you don’t want to see. I personally was thankful my sons teacher said we need to get him some testing. He needs help with reading and writing. Help is good.
If you feel strongly she’s not . you can tell them no. I work with kids with Autism and other disabilities for 20yrs. Some kids may have behaviors and some dont.
Let them evaluate. A IEP helps school to meet her needs. It follows throughout her grade levels. And should she need help in school with added time, help with testing, help with subject matter it’s invaluable. Her learning disorder may not be as extreme as you think .
They are trying to help not hurt.
I am a Special Education teacher. A referral for an evaluation is just that. You don’t have to agree or consent to having the findings placed in a formal document. It may result in a 504 plan, which is a document that gives a child program modifications and test accommodations, without annual goals, like an IEP.
If they do determine that she is eligible to receive any kind of services, the amount of support she will receive is incredible.
There is a lot of stigma around special education and IEPs still, and I don’t look at it as a bad thing. You are not your “diagnosis” or disability. I like to look at the IEPs as a support that helps to bring out all of the amazing gifts that a child has to offer.
There are MANY forms of autism and unless you’re a doctor you really don’t have the degree to make that diagnosis or undiagnosis. There’s nothing wrong with a child having the diagnosis or an IEP as they’ll receive the help they need. I know as parents we don’t want to put a label on our children but a label isn’t the end of the world. A parent unfortunately doesn’t always know best as much as we wish we did. Choose two different specialists of your own and have them conduct an evaluation.
Many people are in denial.
Do you have a doctorate or degree in child development or pediatric neurology? How can you be 100% sure she isn’t on the spectrum? If you were the same at that age, maybe you are on the spectrum too and went undiagnosed like so many children did back then. There is nothing wrong with being labeled autistic. There is also nothing wrong with the school wanting to provide your child with accommodations (iep) that help them get equal educational opportunities to their classmates. That being said, if you don’t trust the evaluations done by the professionals at the school, get your child evaluated by a neurologist or a doctor that specializes in pediatric development. My child was evaluated by the school and outside professionals and has thrived under her iep. She’s autistic and has been in a regular classroom with regular kids since kindergarten and is an A/B student. Please don’t sabotage your child’s future because you don’t want her labeled autistic. Please get independent evaluations and if they all come to the same conclusion fight to get her all the accommodations you can.
Have an ADOS test done and ask yourself why you are so triggered that she may be on the spectrum.
I would accept any extra help the school is trying to provide. They are trying to help her be successful in school which in turn will help her with career choices as she gets older. The school cannot give an autism diagnosis. Without a medical diagnosis the most they can do is determine the difficulties she is having in school present themselves in a similar fashion as the difficulties a child with autism may have.
If she is, she will get special extra treatment. Autism is a huge scale and admittedly, I am on that scale.
I was also a CEO in US and Managing Director if a company in Denmark.
It is all workable. I may be a little too straightforward for some 
Your child spending everyday with family members does not mean your child had very little social interaction. It actually means the opposite. And kinda looks like your blaming your family for her social issues. You also don’t know whether or not she needs help. And you being similar at that age could very well mean you went undiagnosed as a child.
Dont knock it so hard. Professionals know what theyre doing. I work with school age children and i see way too much. get your child the help they deserve!!!
You act like being autistic is the worst thing that could happen to her, let her be evaluated and get help if she’s having difficulty learning.
Just my opinion. And you can tell me to F off and I won’t be offended one bit! If you love that kid you will let them evaluate her. In fact you would take her to Children’s Hospital Health Behavior and Development Center yourself and DEMAND she be tested for everything, and get real answers from real professionals!! Help your kid!
I had the same issue. Im not from where I live, my family is across the country. My husband works away from home for months at a time. Same thing happened to us, my daughter had no socialization and she had horrible separation anxiety…when ppl tried to say she was autistic, I knew better. I took her myself to be evaluated and they said she had SOCIAL ANXIETY…shes 10 now and she’s perfectly fine…preschool helped her tremendously however her teacher even tells me that she doesn’t play w other kids at recess. My kid likes to swing. She has only child syndrome. Its not that she CANT interact w the other kids, its just that half the time she doesn’t WANT to…I would take your child to your own doc and have them do an evaluation…these schools are so quick to label our kids ADD and what not, its ridiculous
It may be that she has some markers for the spectrum. Accept help, services. I would get her an eval through your insurance company. Use who is in network.
They just want to help. You have to agree and sign off on everything they want to do. They cant diagnose anything but can bring in people who “can” but you’d still have to have her dr diagnosis anything. Extra help is wonderful. If they offer the help let her have it. Take notes and ask questions about anything you may have concerns about or don’t understand. There’s nothing wrong with having a child who needs extra help and iep’s aren’t a bad thing. Better to get help now than years down the road realize your child doesn’t know what they should know.
Let them evaluate her and then get a second opinion
What do you feel? I had a school nurse tell me my son needed to be on meds and I fought her about it. Saw his Dr about it and never put him on meds. Preschool does the ASQ and ASQ-2 evaluations the questions where crazy what they asked parents I had a difficult time asking them it seems like they are searching for kids to be on the spectrum. Get an outside opinion but further more go by your gut feeling.
I’m not sure why you are so adamant that it can not be asd i know the stigma socially but honestly most people think infantile oppsed to every day working person. ASD is genetic just because u did something too as a child doesn’t make it not asd… you could be autistic as well. Thousands of adult women are being dx now due to it being missed as a child. Many didnt realize it themselves until their child received the dx. And they began researching it.
These people know what they’re talking about unless you’ve been to school and obtained a degree you have no clue if they’re telling the truth or not just because you had some of the same issues and weren’t diagnosed with autism doesn’t mean you didn’t have it at her age either she very well could have it and you don’t want her to so you’re in denial about it
How are you so sure she isn’t autistic? I recently found out my 13yo son is autistic and I thought they were crazy for thinking he was, but I also knew something was going on. The more we learn about my son the more everything makes sense. You going through the same things when you were I child my mean you are also on the spectrum. Autism does look the same for everyone and it is so much different then I thought. My son also does a lot of things my husband did when he was a child. My son is very high functioning and if I didn’t tell you he was autistic you’d have no idea. Advocate for your child and get her the help she needs and if she isn’t autistic that’s great but if she is there’s nothing wrong with it. Express how you feel. Ultimately you are in charge of your child and her education. But I would suggest being open to, and least listening and exploring what the educators and specialists have to say. Do your own research and have your own evaluation with a doctor of your choosing.
My son isn’t on the spectrum but has problems with his speech. When I finally got the diagnosis the help I get is incredible. I hope you think about what good it can do before turning away the diagnosis. They may see things you don’t
My son has an IEP. The IEP is to help him not hurt him. My son is being evaluated fir Autism in June. I do not see anything wrong with having a child evaluated. I want my son to get evaluated so he can get the help that he needs to succeed in life. Why do you say Autism like it is a bad thing? There are many forms of Autism. Many people with Autism are high functioning.
My 25 week premie daughter had an iep starting in first grade for Language & math. I should have held her back and started kindergarten a year later. The kids in her classes were almost a year older because her bd is Sept 3rd. Anyway, with an iep she got individual one on one help in those two subjects, and had regular classes for the rest. She is now a College grad! My son also on an iep for the same subjects had a teacher when he was transitioning to the high school who wanted him placed in the life program (where they stay in one classroom all day). We were so against this and when meeting with the hs took a teacher friend with us ( who understands the lingo) to be impartial. The HS opted not to put him in that program after meeting him and hearing us out. Our teacher friend was invaluable. You can bring anyone you want to those meetings like teachers, doctors, etc. Stick with your gut if you feel its not accurate.
If they find out shes on the spectrum then you might want to do some research about the spectrum and educate yourself. Her teachers and her will come up with plans on how to help at home and school etc. Maybe join a group for parents with Autistic children. They maybe able to give advise.
Why is it so hard to believe you may both be on the spectrum?
Are you scared of a diagnosis? When I found out my son was autistic, sure I cried but then I did all the research I could and got him all the help he needed. He’s the coolest little kid, I wouldn’t trade his diagnosis for anything.
Let the school do their evaluation it’s not anything bad if anything if they feel she maybe they will give her extra help
This post is hilarious. Girls are often harder to diagnose than boys bc they know how to “mask” certain behaviors. There are a lot of things she could be that would be much worse than autistic lol. It’s also very often misdiagnosed as ADHD or social anxiety, & that’s usually for the parents in denial. If she does get an ASD diagnosis she’ll just get any & all help she needs. My oldest son (7) has ASD, You wouldn’t even know until you notice how advanced he is in certain areas & he isn’t the best at reading social cues lol. Quit acting ashamed of your kid & get her evaluated 
Also as an adult with autism , it’s not uncommon for our kids to get diagnosed and then us get provisional diagnosis for it. Adhd is an ASD too
Maybe it isn’t autism…there could be a number of things! My son started school PREK with an IEP for delayed speech (hes five now) but same thing everyone, literally everyone wanted to say he was on the spectrum and we just didn’t believe it. So a few months ago we got his genetics testing done and found out he has an extremely rare genetic condition TRPS1…has no learning disability and nothing stopping him from progressing in a regular setting other than his speech (he won’t necessarily have to stay on an IEP but it’s definitely for his benefit right now) I requested that they reevaluate him for school/IEP purposes after he got a real diagnosis and was denied 
so for next year we have to request a whole evaluation to be done.
Keep your head up mama and I wish you the best of luck with finding the answers 
My son is on an IEP, has been since Kindergarten. If she is having issues in school an IEP is going to be super helpful for her. I don’t think they would want to reevaluate the situation if there wasn’t a concern. They probably want to help her succeed and figure out how to make her day to day school life better with the resources that an IEP can give her. I would recommend taking her to a specialist and have them evaluate her. Sometimes there are signs we don’t see as parents that are actually autism. My son was diagnosed with ADHD in the 2nd grade (he is now finishing his 3rd grade year) and it had been brought to my attention that there are qualities and characteristics of his that could put him on the spectrum that I thought were just his little quirks. I know that type of diagnosis can be a hard pill to swallow for some parents. But until you have had her actually evaluated by a professional you really don’t know anything for sure. And a school can not diagnose your child with anything, see a specialist.
This post is hilarious. Girls are often harder to diagnose than boys bc they know how to “mask” certain behaviors. There are a lot of things she could be that would be much worse than autistic lol. It’s also very often misdiagnosed as ADHD or social anxiety, & that’s usually for the parents in denial. If she does get an ASD diagnosis she’ll just get any & all help she needs. My oldest son (7) has ASD, You wouldn’t even know until you notice how advanced he is in certain areas & he isn’t the best at reading social cues lol. Quit acting ashamed of your kid & get her evaluated
1000% sure she isnt when your not a professional and its possible you are too since you had some of the same sx. Being dx on the spectrum is not a death sentence. Its a dx that can help with accomadations to help her. Austism does not mean an intellectual disability although they can exist together. Autism is primarily a social and communication disorder that can be greatly helped with accommodations.
School CANNOT make those assumptions…Take her to the doctors and get her tested…A IEP isn’t the worst thing it just gets your child the extra help she needs Nd deserves…do some research!
Autism is a spectrum not every one has the same symptoms also girls are usually less diagnosed then boys are so if they think she has it she could very well have it. Autism isn’t a bad thing
Don’t be surprised
I didn’t find out I was autistic until I was 16. My daughter is almost 3 and already diagnosed with it and I’m sure her sister will have it to. Having autism isn’t bad. And depending on which end of the spectrum people would never even know. People don’t know me and my daughter have it until I say something. We are considered high functioning autistics.
Wow.
Why are you fighting professionals on something that may help her be successful. Obviously something is off if they want to reevaluate her. Let them work for and with her to give her a bright future. As a mother with a child who has autism…that diagnosis was a blessing amd it helped him be successful. I am so glad I put him first.
What does your pediatrician say? Really she would need to be referred to a child psychologist to properly be assessed.
One of my 16 year old twins was just diagnosed on the spectrum. Yes, it’s not what I wanted to hear, but it sure explains a lot and it is also allowing us to get her more help. We already had an IEP, did 6 weeks at Roger’s, sees psychiatrist and therapist and her behavior is still out of control. Getting ABBA evaluation next month! But she is on the mild end of the spectrum, her social skills/behavior is a huge issue. Her grades are Honors/Advanced with A snd B. Go to a psychiatrist for a proper evaluation!
It’s not a death sentence.
The good thing is that they are requesting the evaluation, which means they normally take care of it. (May vary state to state.) Do not let them assume based on a couple of characteristics. Insist that they do formal testing to either confirm or rule out, or they will keep coming back to it every time there’s an issue. I once had a Dr tell me my 10yo was autistic because he walked on his toes, and spoke in a high pitched voice ‘sometimes’. He was inpatient at the time and she actually put it in his discharge papers, so we had to fight to get testing to have it removed from his medical record. Bottom line is that you know your kid. Don’t let them bully you into something you feel is wrong. If they insist she needs to be evaluated, make them handle it, and not just a few questions in the office, make them actually have her fully evaluated so they can wither work with her, or let it go. My apologies for the word vomit!
Each diagnosis opens new doors.
My son is in 3rd grade and hasn’t been on an IEP for very long but he’s getting the support he needs from the school now. He was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago and his psychiatrist put in a recommendation to the school for the IEP. They aren’t a bad thing.
Ok first off. Denial is the worst thing you can feel. I was in denial for years and it only ended up hurting my sons growth and learning. Autism isn’t a death sentence. It’s more of a blessing in disguise. Not all kids start out the same which is true.
As a mom who had to push for early help you’re doing your daughter a disservice. As a college drop out you’re doing your daughter a disservice.
My daughter had an education plan. She had traits that could have been autism. Its the best thing they could have done for her. They worked really hard with her during class and one to one. She was never labelled or singled out.
She was very quiet in class. Didnt socially interact and didn’t make friends. After the SEN worked with her, after a while, she started forming friendships and became more outgoing socially. She’s nearly 11 now and is so clever. She’s not on an education plan anymore and still seems to have the odd blip when it comes to relationships with her friends but it’s nothing major. Things would have been much worse without her being involved with SEN while she was young. I still see traits that could be considered on the autistic spectrum but I know as she gets older, she’ll learn her own coping mechanisms. If I were you, I’d take all the help they offer. You’ll get a good outcome.
Ok but, we thought my son wasn’t autistic bc all of his “quirks” and behaviors were things I had as a child. And when we were recommended to get him evaluated by the school, we just did it anyway. And turns out he’s almost on the severe end of the spectrum. Learning more about autism made me realize I am more than likely also autistic. Just bc you did it as a child, doesn’t mean your daughter isn’t autistic. Take her to get evaluated. If the school is recommending it over and over, it’s bc they can get her more services and help with the diagnosis. They probably feel she’s being held back without the extra help.
Girls are also often misdiagnosed unless they are on the severe end. They are professionals and may be seeing things that you aren’t.
Evaluations are only there to help. If she is diagnosed with autism she will have so many services that can help her provided to you. I have four kids two on the spectrum. It’s scary to think your kid could be autistic at first especially if you know nothing about it. I was in denial and was sure my kid didn’t have it. But sometimes we are wrong. And getting our kid the help they need even when we are set on they don’t have or need anything is the right thing to do. I’d get that evaluation. Nothing hurts to know and if it happens she does give her every chance in life to succeed with services. Early intervention is key.
Honestly, the spectrum is large, she very well could be on the spectrum. My 5 year old is having behavioral problems in school, she never been in pre school. I have her into counseling now to see what the problem is. Remember, things were different when we were kids, I acted the same way as my daughter, I probably had an ODD disorder or something. I deal with anxiety as an adult. You can’t have a blind eye to something.
My two youngest kids had very limited to no social interaction before they started school for the same reason. For years I thought my son had autism and requested he be evaluated several times. He doesn’t have it. Everything was due to lack of socialization skills and getting over and under stimulated. The difference between my oldest daughter who went to daycare and my two youngest who stayed home with grandma when they started school was huge. If I knew they would of been affected the way they were especially my son I would of found a way to afford daycare for them. With the iep meeting answer all questions honestly and don’t lie about anything to avoid an autism diagnoses. If she does have it it’s not a bad thing and it’s better to find out now so you can come up with a plan to help her. If she doesn’t have autism it her behavior could be due to the lack of socialization like my son and again you can come up with a plan for that as well. Be thankful the school is being proactive instead of pushing things under the rug and labeling her just a bad child like they did my son. I had to fight for an iep and it took me over a year to find a teacher that would help me with it
Girls actually mask their autism more than boys, you can be on the spectrum and be high functioning, everybody doesn’t experience the same symptoms. I know it’s scary to hear your child MAY have asd, trust me Ik the feeling but if she is I’m sure she is high functioning and will go on to lead a normal independent life. The most important part is to get professionals to evaluate and diagnose her so she can get that little extra help while she is still young. Nothing to be nervous about
My kid should have been diagnosed and wasn’t which has caused so so many problems…
My son is on the spectrum, beyond any doubts we knew very, very early on things were different, he is 21 and in adult briefs and nonverbal so that is quite simply that 
it is likely the teacher is seeing a pattern and the rough days are a part of that, they are trained and really good at seeing things that are off, being this is a spectrum disorder u can be on one end like my son or the other end like Steven Spielberg, be a good advocate for your child but also be open minded and listen to everything presented, having a child with autism isn’t the worst thing to happen, chin up and be ready to speak and to listen
Why are you so sure she’s not on the spectrum? Why are you so threatened by that? It can be hereditary, you may be as well and were just never properly diagnosed. There is no shame or downfall to having a medical diagnosis, it’s only meant to get her the proper help she may need. By not being open to her even being evaluated you could be causing harm to her education, future and development as the earlier intervention starts the better. There is absolutely no negative to having her evaluated or her being diagnosed. Don’t be so afraid of a word.
Also, this is not an IEP meeting as it doesn’t sound like she is currently on an IEP, it’s simply an evaluation.
It seems like any time kids have problems in school, and or at home the first thing people want to do, state that the kid is autistic, even in this group! Be your child advocate, do you know your child better than anyone else! Just know that all children that have behavior problems are Learning problems are not autistic!
I’ll never understand why a mother first step would be putting their child A long-term medicine, in my opinion that should be The very last option when all other steps have failed!
Some kids just need a little extra help!
Why are you so negative about her being autistic?
Mama… you have to calm down and figure out the truth. You can handle it… whatever she is - it’s perfect♥️
…what makes you so certain she isn’t autistic and what’s wrong with it if she is? More so, how much of this personal aversion are YOU exposing her to and have you considered how much it might hurt her to have seen these biases from you if she IS diagnosed? NGL, my parents had this attitude and now I’m 40 years old and chasing an ADHD diagnosis while finally learning how to work WITH my brain instead of against it, which are lessons I COULD have learned in grade school.
It’s ok to be curious about things she may be struggling with- in fact it’s our job to be curious about what’s going on with our kids as they develop. Try not to lead with your fear, mama. If you really want to help her, take her to her pediatrician & another psychologist he or she recommends & get your child evaluated first, before the school does theirs, then you’ll have a more full understanding of what’s going on for your daughter & can help the school design solutions if she has a learning difference or needs input from school to expand her learning . Don’t be afraid for her, she’ll think there’s something wrong with who she is & there’s not . Learning differently Is part of life for som many of us & it’s not bad or good. It’s just different. Take advantage of the ideas & solutions from school that can help open the world to her, not close her off. Support will be there for your daughter, you & it may or may not be autism, Asperger’s- whatever it is , she will need help to help her succeed in life & I know you want that for her. Times have changed & we know so much more about what the brain needs as we develop.
Why are you so adamant that your daughter does not have autism? She clearly is struggling at school, her teachers are asking for help bc there is something going on. Please just allow them to get her the help she needs in the classroom.
Dear mama, don’t be afraid. An autism diagnosis is not the end of the world. Elon Musk, Albert Einstein,these people are or were believed to be Autistic. This can help your daughter get grants and scholarships when she reaches college age. If she isn’t fine,but if she is,get her help. I know a kid who attended a special needs preschool when he was young,he got a full ride to college because of that. By the way, I’m a 2 time Autism mama. Good luck.
People back in the day refused to believe there was anything wrong with kids. It wasn’t ‘good’ so they chalked it up to ‘kids being kids’. Why do you think so many adults now suffer unknown ailments, issues, etc?
Take her to her doctor or a specialist outside of the school and have her evaluated if you dont trust them. What harm can it do? They can notice behaviors that we cannot.
If she’s not autistic at all, that’s great. If she is, she will receive the help and attention that she needs to help her succeed.
There are varying levels of autism, ADHD, ADD, and numerous others. They range from drastic handicaps to little ticks that seem like silly quirks.
What exactly do you fear if autism is found? Why do you wish for them to not evaluate her?
Autism can be anything. My daughter is on the spectrum for autism. She has a speech delay, a lisp and comprehensive issues. She is in learning support classes with an IEP. The evaluation is there to help not label. Just because you believe she isn’t autistic doesn’t mean she’s not. The evaluation will get her the help she needs. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all.
I’ll be the first to say that I’m a strong advocate for my son on everything and the school does not get to dictate how I raise my child…so with that said, being “evaluated” is not something I would fight against.
Being diagnosed with something is better sooner than later and you then can advocate for the best course of action; if you don’t believe the diagnosis is correct, then seek a second or even third professional opinion with the research to back why you don’t believe it and challenge it!
Example: my cousin refused to have her son evaluated and was angry with us for even suggesting it when we noticed certain milestones weren’t being met. I could go into all of them but for the sake of the length of the post, I’ll just say that sometimes there are other physical medical issues going on so be sure it’s a holistic approach to diagnosis. In their case, her son is on the spectrum and because he could not verbalize what was bothering him in an understandable manner, he suffered horrible earaches and infections but had such a high pain tolerance that they went undiagnosed or treated. He lost his hearing because of it and his speech which was minimal was lost as well. It further complicated his situation.
So in addition to seeking the best IEP to support him, he had to learn sign language as did his parents which further delayed everything to support him.
You can decline it an not go through with it. They have to have your consent. My daughter is this age an she doesn’t have one an I could of had one on her since kindergarten.
As someone with autism, just wondering what the whole bad stigma is exactly. Just means we think a little differently. That’s it. So what if she is… she isn’t defective.
I truly hope you aren’t giving your child a bad impression of what it means to be on the spectrum. 
I’m a Special Education teacher (autism specialist). Just so you are aware, teachers nor anyone else at the school can diagnose your child. They can tell you what they see Education and behavior wise, but you should have your child evaluated by her pediatrician/ specialist. An autism diagnosis is not the worst thing ever, and many people with Autism go on to be very productive members of society. As far as your meeting goes, please go in with an open mind. Everyone there wants what’s best for your child.
I know different states & districts do it different. In my expirence they don’t diagnose in school. They evaluate for educational purposes only. Then if they find anything that backs up the suspicions they recommend you take her to a phychiatist or agency.
It’s possible you could have undianosed autism yourself. That can explain why you & your daughter share traits.
Hi. 37 year old here. My mom was absolutely adamant that I was not autistic. No way. Absolutely not. I had too good of grades and didn’t get in trouble. No way could her kid be autistic.
30 years of extreme anxiety, depression and other problems. Inability to socialize. Lost jobs.
Got diagnosed. I’m on the spectrum. Knowing what the monster was has helped me seal with it.
A test is harmless. A lifetime of masking is killer
Take to her pediatrician. Explain why you want her to evaluate and not school. They may send you to another specialist but insist it not be associated with your child’s school.
A behavior specialist is not able to diagnose autism just by observing. I’m not sure a behavior specialist can diagnose at all. In order for my 9 yr old to get a formal diagnosis it was multiple evaluations and paperwork filled out by parents and teachers. The developmental pediatrician is the one who had to diagnose. They can observe and reccomend you see a developmental pediatrician however. If that is the suggestion I would take it. It’s better to know exactly how to help your child than just say nope it cant be that. It’s very possible your are correct but your child deserves all of the supports and assistance you can offer to live a successful life and you owe it to them to at least look into suggestions.
I have two autistic sons. It’s not a bad thing. If you want to rule it out, or any other disorder for that matter, get her evaluated by a Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrician. They’re hard to get into so it’s best to get the ball rolling. Having the appropriate supports in place at school will be super important for her. Hugs!!!
While I agree it can be over diagnosed or some kids looked at for normal behaviors as being autistic she should definitely be evaluated again . You can’t be 100 percent sure that she isn’t . And so what if she is she will just need more support and will receive it with the diagnosis . Why does she have an IEP ? What behaviors are they suggesting are autistic . Something is definitely going on I hope you get answers soon .
I mean it’s a very wide spectrum I wouldn’t be so quick to write off a diagnosis that could make her life easier by teaching her the right life skills.
So it’s totally ok for your child to be autistic. But here’s the thing too. I didn’t realize that i was also on the spectrum until adulthood. So its possible that the behaviors that you were exhibiting as a child we’re also signs and you were just not diagnosed.