Seventeen years ago, my now ex-husband and I were separated due to his affair. While we were separated, I did sleep with a friend of ours and became pregnant. When my daughter was four months old, my husband had a paternity test done, and it excluded him as the father, which only left one possibility…our friend. My husband wanted to raise her as his own and basically asked the friend to walk away. Husband and I divorced two years later with him still raising my daughter. She even had his last name. Fast forward 13 years and my ex-husband passed away unexpectedly. Now the bio dad and I are in contact again. He told me that my husband had told him that he (the friend) wasn’t the dad and to stay away from us. So he basically never knew the truth about the paternity test. We recently had one done, and it confirmed that the friend is her father. In the past six months, he has been a huge part of her life. He and his wife and the whole family has accepted her with open arms. We want to let him adopt her, so he can have legal rights ( which should have happened from day 1). The question I have is, will it interfere with the social security survivor benefits that she receives from my ex-husband? We had shared custody up until the day he died. Along with our two other daughters. We were both lied to about this 16 years ago, and I desperately want to fix this mess.
Yea it wil interfere.
Yes, it will end the benefits but it would mean you could get child support from her biological father .
Yes. They will stop. Benefits are for the children. If she’s no longer legally his child, she gets no money.
You’ll lose the benefits from your ex.
She will not receive benefits. And if known you could be asked to replay the money that’s been paid.
You may have to pay back the benefits but your ex being on her birth certificates they won’t stop her benefits unless her bio dad adopts her.
It will interfer w social secrutity and lose the benefits…but if u want to fix the mess and do adoption why does money matter if this mess as u say needs to he fixed then why does the money matter
Yes it will…since it basically excludes her as his survivor…
Your child will be an adult in 2 years If This Were Me I would leave things be her real father can always find ways to take care of her without adopting an almost adult
You can’t have your cake and eat it too !!
I would say you would lose the benefit
I don’t think it will interfere with her rights for Social Security if she has his last name
Yea bc your husband wasnt the father and why are u trying to keep that anyways?
Leave well enough alone he’s now in her life and that’s a start but yes if you in fact allow the adoption she will lose the benefits
You’re seriously worried about the money? There’s no way you didn’t know I call bs. Yes, you’ll lose the benefits and may have to pay back what given. Leave it alone and she can change her name at 18.
Think about your daughter! Wtf??? Why would you ever tell her that the dad she knew as her father wasn’t her real dad after enduring the grief of his death? So you want support raising her from this other dude but also want money from your dead ex? Probably want money from the real bio dad too? Get a grip!
She’s old enough now that it’s just paper at this point he’s her birth dad but not her dad… they barely know each other.
You can have a spouse legally adopt her so in the event of your death he would have guardianship, and it would not interfere with ssi as that’s a benefit SHE is entitled to for her fathers death, however if ssi is informed you’re collecting his survivor benefits on her behalf knowing he is not paternally his you could face charges of fraud so you may need a lawyer to figure out your correct situation and what is best for your scenario
Yes you will lose survivor benefit if he gets “rights” to her then in the eyes of the government he is responsible for her legally. Same thing if another man adopted her.
You might have to pay back all the benefits she received because she isn’t his child.
I contacted social security when we adopted my nephew. He was collecting ssi benefits from his deceased mother. We were told if he is already collecting at the time of his adoption he would still receive benefits. We adopted him and he gets his checks every month!
Ummmm … the child would never be entitled to survivors benefits in the first place. You could get in serious trouble for sure.
Why does he have to legally adopt her anyway? You guys can’t just work it out yourselves and leave the government out of it?
If he adopts her it will. For she is no longer his.
To be honest, I would take this to a lawyer instead of posting on a page on Facebook. This is something to be talked to at a lawyers office. Best of luck.
If he adopts her, I’m afraid that she would lose the benefits. Hopefully your ex officially adopted her and has his name on her birth certificate
Plus, why ask a Facebook group for legal advice??
A little bit of a different story…
My sister passed away and was a single mom to a 2 1/2 y.o. She came to live with me and I am legally her guardian but I’m her mom and she’s my daughter in every way. I have looked into adopting her. I was told she would still receive her bio mom’s SS benefits but if I would to pass before she turned 18 she would receive my SS benefits instead of my sister’s. So in your situation I’m not sure but since your ex-husband is on her birth certificate as her dad it might not effect it. At this point it’s just a piece of paper, if she is in need of the benefits I would wait until after she turns 18 for the adoption. Adoptions, even in our situation are expensive!!
Good Luck!
Not only will it interfere with her benefits but you will be responsible for all the $$$ she has received based on a lie! If I were you I would delete this post as you are admitting to fraud!!!
The questions some ppl ask on here make me Smh and then others think Im the bad guy for SMH !!! Js
You need actual LEGAL advice. Consult an attorney.
Not if the birth certificate says the husbands name. LINDA!!! 
MIN YO BUSINESS dont try and B a FB lawyer . The only way she can collect benefits is with a birth certificate DUH!!! So it’s actually NOT a serious ISSUE. she has NOT broken the LAW.
No it won’t stop the benefits! She is entitled to those benefits because at the time of his death he was listed as her father. As long as he did adopt her legally though. Regardless if a child is biologically someone’s or adopted by said person they are considered the same in the states eyes.
You need to contact a lawyer. To talk to them. I don’t want to see anyone get in trouble.
Go get some real legal advice
Legal advice needed. Maybe you need to just let it be. How will the daughter feel knowing you lied? And I do know your daughter is Not entitled to benefits even if she uses his last name. Since he never adopted her, you will be expected to repay that money. You might want to just leave it all alone.
If bio father is in the picture he should be paying support.
And if you have any morals you would not be accepting SSI regardless of your ex telling the guy it wasn’t his kid. You willingly deceived the ex lover by not telling him the truth yourself. You cheated him from having a choice in being a part of his child’s life.
Sounds to me as if you are trying to double dip the system because you admit you knew/know the truth. You should have to pay back benefits!
If knowing what you knew years ago and the child would have been legally adopted then recieving benefits would of been legit. But as is this is all a practice of deception.
If u go ahead and have this done u will lose that money . Having her know about it is one thing removing the financial help for her is another. Now if he and his whole family including his wife wanna help pay her way then by all means go for it.
Why ppl talking bout ssi🤦🏾♀️ all I Kno is in NY if u married the man he’s the father I would definitely talk to lawyer bout the survivors benefits… check your state laws on paternity
I receive survivor benefits for my children since my husbands death a little over a year ago. We had five children between us…he and his ex-wife have one grown son, my ex-husband and I have two teens, and my husband and I had two together. My ex has had no contact nor paid any support for my oldest two children since they were 1.5 years and 6months old. They were raised by me and my late husband from the time they were 2 and 3 years old. I was a stay at home mom for several years before his death due to an accident I’d had that left me with very limited use of my left arm and hand. He brought home all of the money for our household. When he passed and I went to social security to discuss it with them I was told since he was the sole provider for my oldest two children, as well as our two, it did not matter that they were not biologically his. They were also eligible for benefits the same as our two youngest. The total amount our family was eligible for did not change…it was simply to be divided between four children and not just two. I was also eligible but declined as the spousal benefits are taxable whereas the children’s is not unless they are of legal working age and file their own taxes. For your situation you are NOT committing fraud as some have said…I believe they did not clearly understand your post and are just misinformed. Your late husband was in fact legally your child’s caregiver (biology does not matter if he was her only provider other than you…meaning bio-dad was not in the picture in any way) and therefore your daughter is eligible for his benefits. However, if bio-dad is now in the picture and plans to legally adopt her (yes I understand he’s biologically her father but on paper your late husband is her legal father) then she would lose those benefits if adoption took place.
Why not simply let him set up a fund for her and leave what he has for her.That is what lawyers are for. No need to make things more complicated .
You were married when your daughter was born, so the presumed biological dad is your husband. That’s the law when a child is born at the time you are married. When this happens, your spouse is the LEGAL FATHER even if he is not the biological father. I think that I would simply call SSA office and ask this question… “If my daughter is adopted, will she still receive her survivor benefits from her dad.” Better yet, attorneys give free consultations, consult with one. My educated guess is that whether or not she is adopted, she is still entitled to the SSA benefits.
Actually yes it will stop the benefits if she I adopted. And if they find out you knew about the true identity of paternity they could go after you for the money they have paid out already on her.
This is disgusting !!! So pretty much if your daughter will lose her benefits, bio-dad will not adopt her . Wow … Pretty sad, it sounds like this is coming down to money!!! Even if your ex told bio-dad anything, " You… yourself… were the one that laid in bed with him, you made the baby, you knew the truth, and failed your daughter and her Bio-Dad. It’s also easy to believe the words of the living over the deceased … You had the chance to fix this from the start and you didnt . Shame on you, dont say you were lied to, when you were the one who failed to disclose the truth from the start yourself !! and if bio-dad gave a rat’s ass back then, he would have done what any real father dose and fight for his rights, and offered to step up to the plate, and not let another man raise his daughter.
You need to speak to a lawyer , yes it will stop benefits. And 2 you will be responsible for paying back the money and 3 lying and getting payments from the government is a felony. I would get a lawyer and delete this post.
I take it that since you were still married to your late ex at the time of her birth that it is his name on her birth certificate - so for all intents and purposes legally he was her father. The government is none the wiser. If the biological father adopts her NOW- she will no longer be your late ex’s child and would no longer recieve any benefits. I dont see the need really for the adoption. Her choice really though.
Why tarnish the memory of the man who despite knowing she wasn’t his raised and lived your child. She is almost an adult and will soon stop receiving benefits. Once she’s eighteen she can change her name if she wants. Leave all the confusion and messiness in the past.
I do not understand how you were both lied to. You knew the truth. The bio father was lied to and is now trying to do the right thing. If he adopts her then she will no longer receive benefits from the other and you will be in serious federal trouble
Dis the deceased adopt this child in question? Because if he did not,That is called fraud, and you are in fact guilty of it since you knew from day one was NOt the Biological father. If you let the.bio dad adopt her yes the benefits stop.
Why would you want him to? It’s kinda like a slap in the face to the deceased and his family and confusing asf to the kid.
It’s kinda like you’re using the kid for financial gain. That is sad!
I’m not sure she should legally be getting benefits now… he was the stepdad legally, because your husband didn’t adopt her. Yes, I realize he raised her but that doesn’t change legal definition.
Bitch you need go get fixed, spaded, neutered, whatever you wanna call it , you a Ho an should stop breeding your nasty self .
a child can legally draw a check off of a step Dad,where they adopt them or not
So many people on here giving legal advice. You should not give legal advice unless you are an attorney or at least disclose you are not an attorney and advise as several rightly have, to get an attorney. Seek legal advice if you really want to do it, or just drop it. She now has a relationship with her biological father and yet carries the name of the man who raised and loved her. It’s already a better outcome than most.
WHY is it ALWAYS about freaking MONEY?? Geezus!! It’s a tad late to be so “moral” and “do the right thing”. This poor kid! Wish you women would think about your kid’s psychological state of mind when you’re doing WRONG, instead of your damn pockets. Ugh…
I say leave it alone. He can be a major part of her life without adopting her. When she turns 18 and she wants him to adopt her then she can do it at that time.
Just worried about the money not what’s right you should be ashamed
Better be careful you very well could end up paying all that you have received back. Because the government will cut through all the BS story and someone will be accountable. And that would be low down to destroy the mans wishes that raised you and a child that wasn’t even his that you allowed to raise as his owns. That man was gracious enough to take you back. Don’t kick him in the grave. Let her see her bio dad and leave it at that. He may get a lawyer and take his rights and her. You won’t have a check or her.
So you’ve just openly admitted on social media you’re committing social security fraud…I would get an attorney.
These people have no clue what they’re talking about!
Your husband is legally her father. Someone can’t adopt her when your not married to them! You can establish paternity and child support and drop the social security. Which I believe is the rightful thing to do.
My aunt and uncle adopted a child together, my uncle was on disability and she got a check as well. When he died my aunt continued to get checks for her, even after she remarried, as her new husband didn’t adopt my cousin. LEGALLY that child is ur husbands. If her real father adopts her, that makes her his child and she will no longer receive those benefits.
GO TO THE SS OFFICE OR A LAWYER …I’m clueless why people ask LAYMEN legal questions? EACH STATE differs and you must include SS …a FEDERAL department. …NOW FOR FIXING mess, first off (H = husband) and (D + donor) …Lies or not, H stepped up and raised that girl as his own, he loved you that much. D ran because he didn’t want to know, real men demand a paternity test, little boys run. He wants back in now because the kid is almost grown…duhhh Unless the question comes up in the next 2 years…let her have her youth blemish free …when she becomes an adult and SS ceases or goes toward her college years, then you might want to drop the not your real dad thing…TAKES MORE THAN SPERM TO BE A DAD…D didn’t want to know nor was he anything more than a sperm donor. I guess the big question is …does D want to take over Financial and Emotional duties for HIS CHILD? You ask questions before you asked the right ones of those involved…try that, then get a lawyer if needed.
DNA someone else the father and kiss those benefits goodby
Go to a lawyer not FB
My children receive survivor benefits from when their father passed away. I know that if I were to remarry, they would lose those benefits. I would assume adoption would pose the same consequence. I don’t know that for sure though.
I strongly encourage you to seek answers from your local SSI office and not a bunch of nasty bitches on Facebook.
Why would you even care about the damn check? This is her father. 
you already have done enough damage to him and HIS child. Want to keep doing more just for a damn check?
Its called fraud. You should be ashamed to even ask this question. You could go to jail.
Why don’t you just ask a lawyer instead of Facebook?
There is no adoption BECAUSE HE IS HER LEGAL FATHER. And you are committing SSI fraud if you are drawing a check in her name under your deceased husband’s knowing he was never the father.
Unless your state has the laws where if you have an affair and child out of wedlock and your current husband is still liable for said child. You can be in a heap of trouble. You need to consult a lawyer.
It would end her rights, it may end them by the paternity test being done. Contact an attorney ASAP
You are a piece of shit! Don’t lie about not knowing the true paternity of your daughter! Please!
I would absolutely call a lawyer!
If you weren’t being g a hoe this mess would not be right now…smh
Even as a stepdad, she is entitled to his social security benefits if she lived in his home and yall were married. Once he passed, however, she is not entitled to benefits. Unless hes on the birth certificate or legally adopted her. If shes going to be 18 soon, the benefit stops anyway so I dont see the point of letting someone else adopt her now. And I’m confused as to how you were lied to. The only one lied to was her real father. You and your husband knew the truth.
of course its going to effect the benefits
Yes you will lose all benefits.
This is not a question for this page. This is a question for a LAWYER.
She shouldn’t get his benefits . And sounds like your daddy jumping ? Which is going to mess her up emotionally in the long run .
Yes. Benefits will stop. Her biological father is alive. He will be required to support her.
I wouldn’t be surprised if you had to pay it back, however, I’m not a lawyer and have ZERO experience with this.
As far as the daughter on question, yes I’m sure you will lose those benefits, and rightfully so as her bio dad has been established… He can now do his part financially for her…
Umm yes, yes it will affect the benefits and that is an absolutely horrid way to look at things! You want all his rights just washed away and name taken because he is gone but you still want him to financially support her from his grave while you once again run to the friend! You need help, sorry not sorry!!
Um, yes if he was not the father you need to report it as soon as possible otherwise you are committing fraud against a federal office which would be a felony. You will also have to pay back any and all monies paid to you from the date you found out. You may want to contact a lawyer to verify what you need to do and what your obligations are regarding survivors benefits.
Yes it will and actually collecting the benefits with knowledge of the paternity not being his would be considered fraud and believe me you dont want to do that
Why would she receive social security when she will no longer be his father! Can’t have it both ways! And if you both feel doing her right then get it straighten out!
Isn’t it illegal for her to getting those benefits? You can go to jail and have to pay all the money back. You need a lawyer.
Is it about the money or the kid 
loser for even asking this question. Put the kid first that’s all that matter’s.
Sounds like you all about the money and don’t really care who plays daddy to your child. This is a prime example of a sorry excuse of a mother.
You very well may be in a sticky situation. And of course the benefits would be cut off. Lawyer up quick.
You knew when she was 4 months old that she wasn’t biologically his, yet you still collected survivors benefits from him on her behalf? That’s sketchy… and illegal. I’d lawyer up.
Dude lawyer up and get a good one because otherwise your going to jail for fraud
From day one when you found out your children was getting survivors benefit you should of contacted the office and told them that he wasn’t the biological father but he chose to raise her as well. But I would of been upfront and honest from day 1
Lol omg…yes you will deff loose that benefit…rightfully she shouldnt even be getting a penny…he wasnt her father. Her real father is alive and should be supporting her. You will 100 percent have to pay back all the money recieved and could be charged with fraud…sounds like money is the only thing you care about…Maybe your daughters well being and mind set should be ur number 1…im sure she is just as confused and upset as any normal child would be finding out her real father is alive and well and the person who raised her including you has lied to her…her whole life.
Yes it will effect benefits and they may make you pay them back as well.
Maggy GL dam no shame
If he adopts her. You WILL lose her benefits.