why don’t you call SSS i know that as long your husband is in the birth certificate she has the right to get that benefits it doesn’t matter if she’s not the biological daughter same as adopting her it gives her rights for what her late father benefits. but if her biological father gonna adopt her idk if she will loose all her benefits. Adopted or stepchildren have rights to the benefits of the parents as long they are under age or disabled.
Can’t have your cake and eat it too…smh call a lawyer not facebook.
I’m assuming your ex signed the birth certificate or did an acknowledgement of paternity accepting responsibility for your child. He raised her and supported her until his death, then you received SS benefits because shes a minor. Which is legal if this is the case. Since he has passed the birth father can legally adopt her through the courts and a custody arrangement would have to be set and he would be liable to pay support from the date of adoption being filed. You run into a few obstacles here, 1. Child could want to live with him and his wife and not you which would mean you will need to pay child support to him. 2. You will not continue to get benefits for her once adoption has taken place.
My sister passed away, her widow remarried and new wife adopted my niece and those benefits stopped coming. Few years down the road they divorced and since his now ex was the legal adoptive mother she won custody of my niece who isn’t even blood. She got custody and out of spite treated my niece like a dog just to get back at my nieces father. Since laws differ between states it’s best to talk to an attorney. My brother in laws case was in Illinois. Best advice call a lawyer or wait until she’s 18 and she can have herself adopted by her biological father if she wishes.
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I would call a family attorney who has knowledge of probate. (I work in a law firm that has one lol) and they usually offer a free initial consultation of like 30-minutes. They can give you the best advice.
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What a mess you have gotten yourself in, sounds like its all for money… Good luck 
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She will loose them and now that it’s proven by dna he shouldn’t have to adopt her u just need to find out what u can do to change the birth certificate talk to a lawyer… he shouldn’t have been shut out
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You should have never applied for survivor benefits, you committed fraud once you applied for his social security benefits. The documents you signed even explain the actions in committing that fraud. Get a lawyer quick, her bio father is going to need full custody after you come clean - jail time.
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What in the actual hell did I just read??? What’s actually important? Your daughter and her FATHER getting what’s rightfully theirs (a relationship both emotional and legal) or YOU collecting death benefits??? Is that even a question???
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If you were married to the now deceased guy at the time of your daughter’s birth, he is her legal father. She would be entitled to those death benefits. As far as adoption, I dont know how you would do that one. You aren’t married to him so you cant do a step parent adoption. That’s a question for an attorney.
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I really have to unfollow this freaking page
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He would have been the legal father since you were married when she was born. I know you are just trying to make a wrong a right. Best you can do if you are intent on adoption is to ask the right questions to the right people, certainly not on here. Legal adoption would make him legally obligated to financially support her.
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Shell lose the benefit. And you might want to get a lawyer. Its fraud.
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One you have to think how your daughters are going to take this and two yes it will they won’t get crap they aren’t his
Yes,it will affect her benefits. Check to see how long they last. What age will she stop getting benefits. Think it might stop at 18 unless she goes to college.
You people are too much. The lady is just asking advice not judgement. BE KIND!!!
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Actually when you are married and have a baby the kaw gives the husband the title of father . Regardless . In Washington at least. Buuuuttttttt this sounds crazy messy .
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So I receive benefits through my step dad who raised me, my biological father wasn’t on the picture. If you didn’t know who the paternal dad was until you did the second DNA test ad he claimed her as his daughter then you need to go into an office and explain to them what had happened and go from there.
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It’s not fraud 
Legally he was her father. Just not biologically. She was entitled to those benefits. Depending on the state, if she’s adopted by her bio father, she will lose those benefits.
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Alot of yall dont understand the difference in legal fatherhood and biology. They are NOT the same.
If a child is conceived while a couple is still married and the husband is proven to not be the father he is STILL the legal father of that child. He can be forced to pay child support, with the same paternal rights and privileges as any bio father. This means she is entitled to his death benefits.
*to finalize my niece’s adoption we are having to TPA my sisters husband even though they have not seen each other except one time in 10 years. He has to relinquish all rights to her. All because they are still legally married.
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Nobody was lied to by anybody except you. You’re the one who was responsible for having the conversation with the bio dad, though. Now paternity must be established and all legal questions discussed in the process.
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How were YOU lied to?? Because your ex husband told you he told the friend to walk away?
Okay, but you knew who the father was, and so what does it matter if he told you he told him to walk away, or that it was his kid and to stay away?
I’m really sorry for you, I am. But it seems like you’re trying to play the victim here a little bit.
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I don’t understand the “need” for legal adoption. Maybe just to make y’all feel better, but I think it would be extremely complicated and if the father who raised her hadn’t passed away, would y’all ever have considered taking away his rights for the bio dad to adopt her? Essentially that’s what you would be doing now and she would lose the benefits. Why does the legality of it matter that much? Just build a relationship! Best of luck!
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She was legally his child at the time of his death. She should be able to keep the benefits despite being adopted. Itd be no different if she was orphaned and then adopted. He was still legally her father…its been appointed to her.
You should have spoken to the father of your child and given him the chance to understand the situation yourself. Sounds like taking the easy way out is biting you in the a$$.
I would get a lawyer cause on one hand it could be considered a cause of fraud on the other hand it could be nothing. Not only could she loose them but you could have to pay part of it back. Now because your late husband is on her birth certificate he is legally her father and she is entitled to those benefits, the second her bio adopts her your late husband gets taken off of everything as her father and she would no longer be eligible for it.
Disgusting. That is all.
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Im super confused about how you were lied to? You knew he was the father considering you knew she was not your husband’s child. You both lied to him. But yes, it will affect her benefits, she isn’t his child.
What’s with all the questions that are clearly legal questions? Who asks these kinds questions online for strangers to answer??
Yeah she probably won’t get it if she’s adopted
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I’m sure if he adopts her, that’s means he will legally be her father and any $ you get from ssa will be dropped as far as her part goes. I had a similar situation
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Pretty sure She won’t be able to continue getting the social security survivor benefits if she gets adopted
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She nearly an adult why does he needs rights?
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But if he is the father an willing to except her then the Benefits shouldn’t matter , he should be able to provide for her
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I dont see the need for legal parental rights at this point- she’s almost legally an adult.
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He should be establishing paternity as it is, and was his right. As far as SS benefits, once paternity is established I’m sure SS is going to be stopped.
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If he adopts her they will stop
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Can SS make you pay back the benefit? Because according to the paternity test she wouldn’t be eligible for the $.
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But you allowed it for all these years this man was her father regardless of DNA now hes dead you want to strip him off that but keep his money 
.
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If you allow adoption she will lose social security. Which she really shouldn’t be getting anyway. The dna test should be all that is need to change birth certificate.
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You will lose benefits if she’s adopted
I would definitely contact a lawyer bc you could be responsible for paying ss back from your deceased husband if paternity is shown to be by someone else. Then again if he signed the birth certificate that is him basically claiming the child as his own. Sounds tricky.
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Leave it how it is. She can get some financial help through collage.
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you cant double dip. this whole post irks me. so you were fine with this situation the entire time, knowing damn straight you slept with another man who is the father. Now the man she knows as dad, dies… But you want to take his title as dad away but keep his financial benefits rolling through. Come on.
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Honestly it sounds like your concern is more about the money.
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Yes … He’s was never the father . And if it comes out that you knew that . you may have to pay back everything that she got under his name . You shouldn’t be getting it now . i hope no one reports you . what you are doing is fraud.
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If he adopts her…I don’t think so since your ex husband was legal dad and not bio dad.
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The benefits will stop. And the benefits will have to be paid back. 💁
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In some states if you are married, it is assumed the husband is father. It doesn’t matter the true paternity. So if he wanted to raise her and assume responsibility she was his daughter. So social security was given justly.
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Leave it be. Let him see her and be apart of her life and give him medical power of attorney 50/50 to feel he can make decisions. Your husband raised her as his own and cared for her till he died. At least let him have that much. A paper doesn’t make you a father… that should be pretty clear by now.
And the benefits will stop and you will 100% have to pay back every dime.
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Wow! First I hope your child knows the truth. If she doesn’t, it will come out eventually. Second, yes it would interfere with survivor benefits because your xhusband isn’t her bio dad. Now you want to have her actual bio dad “adopt” her? Would it even be adoption since she’s biologically his? There’s a lot going on. Good luck.
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You sound money hungry. And this sounds very fraud-y
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Wowwwwww worried about the ss money😵
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It sounds like you’re about to owe some money back to the Social Security Administration! I hope someone does report you because it seems as though you knew that she shouldn’t have been receiving these benefits to begin with if he wasn’t her real dad! #pathetic
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If you allow the actual father to adopt her it will STOP ss benefits why on earth are you running back to that man the man she knew as her father is dead you are creating a mental mess for that child you need to stop
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Smh, so the deceased wishes and hard work raising a baby can all just go away with his title? This is so wrong in so many levels…so sad.
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If your childs bio dad wants to adopt her, you could find yourself in some trouble with the law. When you applied for survivors benefits, you swore the information you gave was the truth. Meaning you told ss that your ex was your daughters bio dad. Anytime someone adopts a child, they then become 100% reliable for that child. In this situation, your daughter should know the truth, and let her real dad be apart of her life. The best interest of your child should be your number 1, not money.
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Talk about pissing all over a dead person’s memory smh
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DUH… Leave it all alone and continue what you’ve been doing… doesn’t matter… he can continue to do what he’s been found with helping raise her… why does it have to change???
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This woman might not have to pay it back if the bio dad wasn’t involved, it’s called child abandonment and they get stripped of their rights after 3 yrs of no contact. Even if they knew. I’m assuming ex signed the birth certificate.
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I didn’t read the comments, but are you really asking for the benefit of your daughter or the money? When did she find out about this?? Does she even know?
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You’ll lose the social security if you mess with it.
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sounds like you care more about the $$$ than anything else
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Selfish AND greedy. You should have never lied.
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You and your dead ex are sick individuals
Why are you guys asking questions or stating comments that aren’t helpful to her post and her questions? If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it 
hopefully you figure it all out!
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Seems like you knew the whole time thats why you and her real father are in contact now. Sad your putting your daughter threw all this bc you obviously have no morals
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I’m wondering why the mom didn’t tell the bio dad, herself, that he was in fact the dad!!! If she knew, why didn’t SHE tell him regardless of her ex husband stepping up to raise her? The mom was the one who slept with the friend… they created this child. It was HER job to tell him he was in fact the father! Anyways, there’s no reason to go through court and lawyer and adoption fees at this point. She will be legally able to change her name as she sees fit soon enough.
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As a parent your child comes first… before money, ego, or anything else. Every kid deserves to have their parent in their life. And the real father deserves to have his daughter.
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Wait! Her bio father wants to adopt her? If deceased man wasn’t her father and never adopted her, why would bio man have to adopt her? Consult with an attorney.
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If your ex husband wasn’t her biological father she was never entitled to death bennifits not even if he adopted her. When my uncle passed away his adopted children where not entitled to a dime but his biological children where. So I don’t know how much of a rift I would make in that water because you might end up paying a ton of money back to the government. Better yet contact a lawyer and ask them. Then your covered all the way around.
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Benefits should not matter do what you feel is right for her regardless of the money part !!!
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It will stop the SSI. Since you knew that hubby wasn’t the father, there may be a fraud investigation (by signing that ex was father when you knew he wasn’t- it could be investigated as fraud) and if found guilty they can charge you back SSI, interest and penalties. You signed agreeing to this on your application for the SSI.
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You were both lied to? …looord
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The SSI will stop. Also fuck everyone’s OPINIONS keep doing what’s best for your family. Not one single person in here can say they have never made a mistake. Good luck
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Why would he adopt her if it’s his biological child? Just have a paternity test and, if it’s as you said, will show him to be the biological father. No adoption needed. Restore his parental rights and at most a name change. No adoption necessary.
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Yes, it will interfere (assuming your ex is on the birth certificate regardless of dna parentage), and yes, you should do it anyway if everyone including your daughter is agreeable. To even remotely consider conserving social security benefits to be a higher priority than establishing your daughter’s proper parental relationship is low class.
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Yuhr daughter should not be getting those benefits beinging the facts that she isn’t his real daughter u know this gets BK to those ppl that deal w that sort of thing boom cut off only way is if ur husband an adopted her legally when he was alive beinging she wasn’t actually his so idkk y u r saying her real dad wants to adopt her thats just stupid thats already his kid how can he adopt a child thats already his smh
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You cheated on the guy when he was alive and now you’re going after his social security benefits! How lower can stoop? Quite the role model for your daughter!
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If he adopts her she loses her survival benifits
I feel like a name change is disrespect to guy who raised her. But let the daughter decide. She can keep her name (and benefits) and still have a relationship with her biological father.
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You’re selfish and quite stupid. I feel so bad for your children.
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So you lied to the state and government about who the father was. That’s a no no. Then you’re just worried about the ss money? You’ll probably have to pay that all back since you lied. Could be a hefty fine and/ jail time. Pretty sure that’s a federal offense too. “Mess” should’ve been fixed 16 years ago…
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Seriously? It shouldn’t be about the money, it should be that your daughter deserves the right to know her bio dad and give her the chance to make that decision.
My suggestion is to contact a lawyer. They are going to be the ones that can give you the correct answers.
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So you just want the cash
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Yes it will. Imthere wont be fraud because hubby is on birth certificate and has his name. But it will stop money if adopted by other. Hence the adoption would have to occur so hubby was legal father. No fraud.
Notmally if married husband has the right of paternity unless bio father fights for it.
Couple of things…for those complaining. Even step children are entitled to benefits if a parent passes. In fact in many cases even an ex spouse can claim benefits. Besides that in this case the ex was considered the legal father.
Just to be clear in most cases a child being adopted does NOT stop their survivor benefits. The child is entitled to that until they are 18(19 if in school). In this case I would think it would be the same BUT it is obviously more complicated with him being the biological father so I can’t say for sure. I would definitely ask a lawyer.
The whole situation seems crazy. But, if u had her while pregnant they the state/ government sees husband as her bio father anyways… however in a case of a child receiving benefits is adopted in any case the benefits do stop.
You need a lawyer. You committed fraud. The benefits will stop & you will pay every penny back. Don’t lie to the government.
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Why would she need an adoption and name change to have a relationship with her father? If she wants to change her name, she has less than a year to make that decision because she’s about to be an ADULT. This reads more of greed on moms part than anything. If the SS benefits stop, it’s okay. She’s about to be an adult and they’d likely stop anyways. I just worry you may be found fraudulent if they investigate this.
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I feel bad for your daughter. Shes spent her whole life not knowing who her real dad is.
She has the basic human right to her own biological connections. Her family medical history, her lineage… you stole that from her so you and your ex husband could have a less complicated time… shame on yall…
And you denied that man a lifetime with his own child… you lied to him and he missed birthdays, Christmas, summers… her entire childhood…
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What you gonna do if the ss makes you pay it all back
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That is some Jerry Springer stuff right there. Contact a lawyer.
You daughter will lose benefits. Unless your ex husband signed the birth cert or there was a legal adoption or a will of some sort then your ex husband really has no legal ties to your daughter so she will not receive the benefits. You will however need an attorney cause this isn’t something small to handle alone without representation. If the IRS and social find out you could possibly face big penalities to possible jail time if you are already receiving benefits from the ex. So definitely protect yourself and get an attorney asap
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I was told by Social Security that my kids will still receive benefits if their stepdad adopts them.
SSA - POMS: RS 00203.035 - Child's Benefits Termination of Entitlement - 03/21/2016 Scroll to the bottom.
Your situation is a little different though and I’d consult with a lawyer.
If you had the affair 17 years ago. The child is at least 16 now. 2 years away from adulthood. By the time the paperwork gets done and the court sees you this child may be about to turn 18. I don’t really see the point.
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Once the ma’am that raised her is no longer I the birth certificate, and being he wasn’t the bio dad, your funds will be cut. Your child’s bio father didn’t have to adopt. Payto have a legal dna test done. You’ll take that paperwork and send it in to your states records. They’ll amend the birth certificate and it’ll be over. The dna testis cheaper than the adoption. Since you seem to really only care about money, that’s the cheapest legal way to handle it.
Yes its gonna mess it up. She cant get adopted by one dad and get benefits from the other… It doesnt work like that
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WTF!!! First of all the comments here are ridiclous . You and your now dead husband are both in the wrong . He shouldn’t have lied to the friend and you should have had the respect yourself as that child’s mother to tell the friend yourself, since obviously you have both lied to this friend, and yourselves but your daughter number one. Second your going to lose then benifits once she is adopted. Lesson don’t lie about something this huge to yourself or your children
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Yes. Once she’s adopted you won’t get survivor benefits and since there’s been a Paternity test you might have to payback what you’ve been paid.
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