Hey fellow moma’s I have a question. My son turned 13 this week. My friends daughter is 15. She will be 16 in Aug. my son and her daughter have gotten extremely close and have started getting feelings for each other. I know right now it’s probably ok bc the daughter isn’t 16 yet. They are wanting to be boyfriend and girlfriend. My husband is 10 years younger than I am and I have to hear that from my son when I tell him I think they should just be friends. How would y’all handle the situation. I feel like I’m a pot calling a kettle black even tho I’m grown and my husband and I were both legal age when we got together. Any advice? Should we just let them date? (Boy friend girl friend?) or should we have them just be friends. Her mom is in the same boat as me. Her husband is 5 years younger than her. We need help.
You’re the parent. What you say should go. What does a high school junior want with an 8th grader.
I don’t see a problem with it as long as you guys sit them both down and set ground rules like no closed doors etc and if they even think about doing the deed there needs to be protection. Y’all can disapprove but I’ll tell u right now they’ll sneak behind y’all’s backs if y’all say no trust me.
In my opinion it’s different… if I found out my 13 year old was in a relationship with a 16 yr old… boy or girl… I’d be really upset. Those 3 years make a big difference when it comes to children/teens.
I think it’s different for adults! 16 is a lot old then a 13 year old Maturity wise
No, the girl needs to find someone her own age to date. Just turned 13 is a little young to date anyways.
There is a difference in maturity .
I dated a 16 year old when I was 13… then when I was 16 I dated a 21 year old. Who I married when i was 21…
If you yet to prevent it… they will just do it behind your back. And if they are willing to be sneaky to date, what else will they be sneaky about…
I can’t even imagine my 13 year old son dating. Specially someone who can potentially drive
I mean you are the parent. But if the riles were reversed would you feel the same? If not then that’s your answer
It’s a little weird for a 16 yo to want to date a 13yo…13 is closer to barely hitting puberty and16 is closer to an adult
She will out grow him quickly and he will learn how to deal with broken expectations and heartache. Teach him a healthy way to still respect his “ex” for her decisions when dealing with heartache. Good time to teach him how not to be a stalker and be able to walk away and let her be.
i mean it’s all about what you think as you’re the parent. i got with my husband when i was 15 and he was 17, got pregnant at 15 had our first at 16 and 18. it wasn’t easy we were still kids but here we are 5 years later with 2 boys and doing great.
I think 13 is too young for dating . Hanging out with adult supervision might be a better option 
.
Sorry but I gotta say no. What would a junior in high school have in common with a middle schooler?
I only say no because she will outgrow him, I’d tell them it would probably be best to wait until they’re both in high school and have matured a bit more.
Been there done that. Get her on birth control. Then you can sleep and she can relax too and make good choices
Too each their own,but as for me with Twins boys I couldn’t.
Honestly no… if she’s really interested she can wait until he’s 18
At 13, my boys had to be screamed at after 1,000 times of being politely asked to bathe. I would let them only go out in groups of friends and with the parents until he’s 15
Honestly it’s a phase and choose your battles wisely. They will probably be “dating” for a month and be done. 
Personally I gotta wonder about a 16 year old girl who wants to be with a 13 year old boy, the maturity levels between the 2 are such a far distance, it’s probably not a good idea. Also, it’s different for adults, when you’re both grown both and maturity levels should somewhat even, lol, not always. Now if the tables were turned and it was a16 year old boy and a 13 year old girl, I can see her maturity level passing his and it might be OK. But it really is just a personal choice, if you don’t feel comfortable with it, put your foot down.
You are the parent so it all depends on how you feel and what the kids are like ? Of course Not every 13 and 16 ur old act their age. I personally think that would make my decision (for example I have an almost 11 yr old that is still in that little girl phase, and I have a friend that has a daughter the same age that is very different than my kid, she acts much older than a 10yr old, she dresses and acts like a 15yr old ) so I personally would take that into consideration, they are young too they may date for a week then be over it 
, I think I would allow it for now… rather than them going behind your back, let them know it’s a privilege not a right and it’s only happening because YOU are allowing it, you will take it away in a second if this privilege is abused… good luck
That really depends on how Both families feel. I’ve heard of this going wrong and one side accusing the other of statutory rape so just be careful
Birth control, they will start sneaking around if you try to stop it. I know because I did… my daughter did too. But now she’s doing good. It’s just a phase
13 is too young to be in a relationship with anyone, in my opinion. If he was older and she was 13, what would you say to that? Go with your gut. Tell them he is just too young to date and ask him to wait a year before decided to date…?
I’s say no. The gap won’t matter later, but it will right now.
Why not do family outings together for now, 13 is pretty young. Let them hang out mostly supervised and see how it goes. She could practically be his babysitter… I think once school is back in she will likely drop him. It will likely run its course.
Just turned 13 and about to be 16? No that’s not ok there’s too much development that happens between those years. 3 years is nothing when you’re an adult, but when your brain and body is still developing that’s a lot of years.
I went through this with my son and a friend of mines daughter. He was 15 and she was 13 and I said heck no.
I’ve always told my school before girls and it has worked his os in collage on his second year and he just started dating during covid with this girl need to give them goals and set limits nothing wrong with being friends but the need a future not a clouded head
If you say no they will do it anyway. So mose well just agree and probs birth control. I was told not to have sex so I got pregnant instead 
teens will always do what there told not to do in my opinion.
My daughter was 12 almost 13 when she dated her husband he was 15 almost 16 at the time they’ve been together 10 yrs now
13 is to young to date period
I say let them. Let them figure it out. Be open with them. Its much better than them sneaking around behind your back.its your friends daughter. It’s much safer than a stranger with parents you don’t know!! You never know. My daughter has been with her boyfriend since they were 13. They are 23 now. Both finished university and still going strong.
Um why is a 13 year old dating is my ?
Absolutely not! I told my daughter age gaps matter when you’re younger like a 15 yo dating an 18 yo is a huge no no but when your my age it doesn’t matter
I’d say have them stay friends. If they date it will likely fizzle quickly and the friendship they had will be lost. Wait til older to date.
I agree talk to them both about safe sex. How to properly use a condom, Birth control for the girl. Express waiting for that kind of intimacy would’ve best. Truth is they will get together if that is truly what they want. Short of lockdown and following them at school. Better to teach physical &emotional safety, trust and honesty in communication. 13 is young as boys usually mature slower than girls. Not sure I would approve, but the world is a different place now. Hugs and love momma’s .
They’re going to do what they want, and so did you when the parents weren’t around. The more you push against it, the closer they get. Kids will be kids…
Personally, he just turned 13. She is about to be 16. I can’t imagine being a 16 year old “dating” someone who is, especially who JUST turned, 13. They are at two different stages. I would say no - and if he brings up the age difference between you and your husband, your was of legal age. While I don’t agree with it, I also would say to be mindful that they may still behind your back. I’d definitely go with your gut
Keep close eye. Don’t let them hang alone with closed doors. Prevent unwanted consequences. Other than that? Let them date. It will almost surely fizzle out. And if it doesn’t, well, then they are soul mates. Discuss legal issues closer to 18 yrs.
Would you be ok if your daughter was 13 dating a 16 year old boy? No, hell no. The rule is and has always been half plus seven. 13 is too young for a 16 year old.
For people saying why are 13 year olds dating are you hearing yourselves 
they all are and if I were you mumma just let them date it’s lust not love
No. 13 is way too young to be dating someone 2-3 years older. It’s a huge gap developmentally for teens. It would be different if they were both in their 20s.
Honestly I don’t think it’s right because of the maturity level itself, but it’s up to the parents. Also… Check to see if your state has the Romeo and Juliet law.
Well I wouldn’t want my 13 year old daughter dating a 16 year old boy… so I don’t think so
Better to allow it and supervise than have them sneak around on yall
Not a good idea.
Hes only 13 and she’s q6? Really. Wake up mom
A 16 year old girl is likely too mature for a 13 year old boy for now. It’s not the age gap that creates an issue, it’s the current ages and development that will be a problem. I would discourage this personally but it’s almost impossible to say “no” because they may just sneak it anyway. If they are determined to date, I would be supervising a lot.
If they’re supervised, since he’s so young, I don’t see the harm
If you don’t “allow” it, they’re gonna sneak around and do it behind your back. You might as well be accepting. It’s not uncommon. Just teach them to be careful and not to have unprotected sex.
Girls mature earlier than boys. Birth control! Seriously!
I’m just gonna go ahead and say it’s great that you are so involved : but they will ultimately do what they want because they’re teenagers . I don’t think “ letting them “ or not letting them date will change a single thing . However if you are completely against it , it’s probably going to happen anyway they will just get sneaky about it . I’m not saying support it because I surely wouldn’t be supportive of it but you need to consider that side of things before responding to their request
My boyfriend was 14 when we met Got together when he was 16 I was 21 when he had a kid when he was 19 and I was 24 and we’re still together
Just friends your son is too young at this stage in life. They are not adults! I’ll for sure have heart failure If this happens with my kids
Just make sure supervised.
She’s underaged. He’s too mature and puts himself in danger of statutory rape.
Be very careful. There is a Hugh difference between a 13 and 16 year old maturity wise.
He’s too young to date.
They are going to get together weather you like or not. Better to let them b n supervise their time together. No bedroom time whatsoever.
Is he going into 8th or 9th grade? I was a sophomore and dated an 8th grade boy. We’d been friends for years & were in youth group together. I also dated one than one senior when I was a freshman. I didn’t do bad 
because my mom & I were close & I told her everything. I have 3 girls & 1 boy. Two of them are 13. If supervised I don’t see it being a big issue
Surprised she would want a 13 year old boyfriend
I personally think 13 is too young. Buttt if you had a daughter that was 13 would you think differently? Regardless teens are gonna do things either with/without your permission, so if they’re wanting to hang out, go on “dates” I would let them but with myself or another parent present. Good luck, not ready for my son to date… he’s almost 3😂
There’s also where most states honor 16 being the age to consent to sex and be trialed as an adult. One bad fight and would you go file statutory rape charges on her on your sons behalf? I mean… that’s a HUGE legal line to cross.
No. No. No.
My stepson is 14 and he’s allowed to date. My oldest son is 14 and still I say no to dating. I say it’s to young at 13. Let them be kids. Dating kinda sucks anyways lol.
The point you’re missing is that the gap gets less wide as you age.
If he dated someone with the same gap as you and your husband, he’d be dating a toddler which isn’t comparable to the difference between you and your husband at all (one hopes)…
That said. I think you’re being foolish.
Firstly, you have no real power here unless you want to move to another state or something else drastic.
Second, unless there is an issue of character, or of moving too fast (like if they’re talking about marriage) or if you think they won’t respect each other’s natural pace (in which case you should talk to them)…
What is the problem here?
No one is ever 100% aligned with another human, but as long as we’re respectful and patient, that doesn’t have to be a big deal…
Um that’s a no for me
My son, who is now 39, dated a girl in this same situation. They were very serious but eventually grew apart. After 6 years together. It wasn’t easy. They hid everything from me for a long time. Especially after she turned 18 and he was still 15. But, as I said, it was a good, healthy relationship so I let it go.
It’s not a big deal.
Just because yall tell them no doesn’t mean they are gonna listen.
my husband is 5 yrs younger then me. We didn’t get together till we were adults even though I knew him yrs before that .
But a 13 and 16 yr old 
My ss is 17 w 15.5 ( they r 1.5 part ) they started dating when he 15.5 yrs old and she was 13 yrs old … let me tell u they find way to be together behind ur bk so best thing u can do chaperone …we made mistakes not talking to gf parents setting rules , gf parent let them be alone in room together 3 months in to their relationship they fucking we didnt find out until 8months in to their relationship … so I had give advice I sat talk to friend parent set rules like they can’t be alone or this or that … 3 yrs isn’t big difference as ppl making it out be , if know about safe sex and u put rules in if broke tho then it tike way from gf or no dating until he learn follow rules…this what I going do w my daughter she not allow date until 13 any one until age 18 who willing follow my rules and I get talk to their parents
This really has nothing to do with your n your husband’s ages! Is the daughter on birth control??? Have both sets of parents had the sex talk with their kids??? My problem with it is really that their both too young, I’m sorry. Kids their ages have no idea how to handle adult dating situations. My kids aren’t aloud to date until their 16.
Personally, I think 13 is too young to date anyone, regardless of age. Beyond that I see no issue with the age difference besides that if they did actually stay together, it will be a much bigger deal when she’s 18 and he’s only 15.
I don’t see a difference between her being 15 and turning 16. That doesn’t even make sense. I honestly feel like you may be can’t accept he’s getting old enough. She’s your friends child so I feel that you should base your decision on who she is as a person and the environment she comes from. If theyve been allowed to get close then there wasn’t an issue before
In my opinion absolutely not. When I was a teenager the difference between 13 year old me and 16 year old me was a HUGE difference in maturity and so many other things
A little weird she wants a 13 year old boyfriend! Every age growing up has a different mental maturity! I hope you go with your gut, if you’re doubting it, set that boundary!
Dating with age gabs comes with different rules. I was always into older guys. As a parent it’s our job to make sure intentions are pure and not prediotory.
I have to laugh at these parents saying to young to date. Really just shows what you don’t know about your own kids. Just cuz they ain’t allowed to date doesn’t mean they will listen.
Is he concerned about why the girl wants a 13 year old boyfriend. At 16 girls are way more mature than 13year old boys 
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I couldn’t date till I was 17. I had little school crushes and guys I’d call my boyfriend while in school but there was a no hanging out outside of school till 17. Maybe set a dating age and let that be that!
you better keep your eyes on them or you will have a veeey jong dad and a young mon on you hands
The more you forbid it the more they will want to be together…
Let them be and supervise the relationship
That age gap is a little weird, not gonna lie. However…
To not allow them to date could cause resentment and actions to be hidden. Allow them to date, but monitor everything. Create an environment where openness and honesty can be nurtured.
Let’s put it this way no matter what you can’t stop them from dating and if you try you will push them away from you and they will do it behind your back I truly think they are too young to hook up but I was just saying
Probably not the best idea. Since he’s trying to use the age factor against you, change course. Let him know that dating a friend usually isn’t a good idea. It’ll change the dynamic for them and if they break up, they’ll lose each other as friends. Which will make it awkward for everyone since your friends with her mom. Tell your friend to have a similar conversation with her daughter. If you outright forbid it, they will just sneak around. If they’re hell bent on making it happen, set up rules, such as where and when they can hang out. 13 and 16 are worlds apart when it comes to maturity, so it probably won’t last too long anyway. Especially given that she is the older of the two.
No. At this age…developmentally very different
At 16 girls typically go for older boys, at that age so to me that is a bit odd. My spouse is 12 years older, not a big deal now but if I was 15 it would have been. Age gap from 13- 16 is huge.
At 13 they are not nearly developed enough to comprehend a relationship and all the new feelings/experiences that come along with it.
He’s 13. Too young even at 15.
Be careful. That’s the age when hormones start going crazy. The 13 year old definitely too young
Let it be. Trust your own parenting. They will both mature as friends
You may not get a say in it.
They could be together regardless of you or your friends decision.
I honestly feel that the better way to deal with the situation is sit them both down and teach them about consequence of unprotected sex.
Yeah but, you’re an adult!! 
Why even ask this question…
I would have them wait till they are both legal age
I dated a 16 yr old and I was 13… just make sure they know about the consequences if they get caught. And of course have a conversation with the other person’s parents.
I’m surprised that an almost 16 year old girl is even interested in a barely 13 year old boy. Nothing wrong with an age gap once maturity has been achieved on both ends but during these ages where both are still constantly and continuously developing mentally and physically, it’s a bit strange and I don’t think I’d allow it. My daughter has been talking to a boy who will turn 16 when she turns 13 and I told them both it’s not acceptable now or after their birthdays (both December) and they’re welcome to revisit having a relationship when she is the one turning 16 lol 
there’s just a HUGE maturity gap between the ages.
Oh he’ll no!! Sorry that’s just my opinion
How old were you when you and your husband started dating? Tell them they can be friends and go out on group dates for a year or so. 13 seems awfully young for a boy to start dating. If they date - he will need to have a job to pay for the dates. DON’T give him money to date.